In step

[RiverOL]

Have you ever found yourself reading the Bible, but not feeling like you’re even hearing what you’re reading because your mind is still swarming with thoughts of how you should handle your child’s bizarre behavior…or all you need to get done?

Our minds as moms can so easily run nonstop. When they do, we usually find ourselves overwhelmed, anxious, and quick to anger. Yet somehow, we think the solution is to just think harder to figure our way out of life’s mess.

We need mental boundaries. There’s a time to think about all that needs done, but it’s not all the time. God wants our thoughts to really focus on Him in worship—and we can only do that if we choose that we’re not going to think about tasks, decisions, etc., that moment. God wants us to really minister to our children—but we can’t do that if our mind is everywhere else.

When we’re thinking about life all the time, we’re really carrying a load God never designed us to carry. He wants us to cast our anxiety on Him. He wants us to live in praise and worship. Yes, we may have a lot on our mind, but we don’t have to keep it there all the time. We can trust God to direct our steps as we praise Him.

“do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” Philippians 4:6 (ESV)

 

[RiverOL]

Cars constantly whizzed around Josh’s toy car track, which he called Thought Track. The cars came in all different shapes and sizes. And unlike normal toy cars, these cars seemed to have minds of their own.

Josh’s father had designed this special track to work well, so long as each car stayed in its proper place and traveled in an appropriate way. Josh had the responsibility of making sure cars that shouldn’t be there got taken out, that those that could drive backwards stayed forwards, and that all the cars stayed in their proper place. This task proved anything but easy.

For example, the Task cars seemed to always jump into other lanes besides their own. One always seemed to be humming around the corner, often derailing other cars. Josh discovered he had to constantly erect boundaries to keep the Task cars in their lane. Otherwise, the Task cars would force less-assertive cars, like the People and Bible cars, off the track. Josh had to look at the track very carefully to even realize that these cars had disappeared, since the Task cars tended to fill up the space and noise so well.

There were also cars like Bitterness and Covetousness that just didn’t belong on the track at all. Josh had to keep after these rouge cars, as they were creative about sneaking back on.

Other cars like Fear could be driven well, but instead often drove backwards. Josh had to keep realigning them to head in the right direction.

It was amazing how quickly the Thought Track could get completely out of wack! When it did, Josh had to ask his father to help him get the cars back in their proper places (and remove the ones that just didn’t belong).

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”Philippians 4:8 (ESV)

“The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.” Proverbs 29:25 (ESV)

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.” Proverbs 1:7 (ESV)

“We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,” 2 Corinthians 10:5 (ESV)

 

[RiverOL]

Why Your “Type” Isn’t Always Good For You​

When I was single, I would often imagine what my future relationship was going to be like. I wondered about the kind of guy I’d end up dating and marrying. I’d try to picture who he would be and how he would look. I wondered if when I eventually had a picture of him, would I be proud to show it to my friends, or would I find myself with someone with an amazing heart whom I struggled to find attractive? I know I’m not alone in that worry because I hear from many people who express the same fears and concerns.

Finding someone to whom you are physically attracted is an important part of the equation of a healthy relationship. But it’s not the only part of the equation of attraction. It’s important for us to understand that attraction is multi-faceted. While attraction may start as physical, it’s fueled by other aspects of connection: emotional, mental, and spiritual.

I am thankful that I am married to a man that I find attractive. But I was surprised by my growing attraction to him because he was not my so-called “type.” Physical attraction is a legitimate need in a relationship, but it must be kept in proper perspective, because just because you’re physically attracted to someone, doesn’t mean they’re good for you. Sometimes we’re physically attracted to people because something unhealthy in us, connects with something unhealthy in them. That’s why that initial physical attraction has to be kept in proper perspective. Sometimes it’s skewed by our own internal struggles, and other times, it’s skewed by what the world has led us to believe is “attractive”.

Healthy expectations​

As you are looking at your relationship, it is important to make sure that physical attraction is part of the equation, but more importantly, that you are coming to the table with appropriate expectations. It’s important to remember that expectations of physical perfection or the fulfillment of selfish fantasy are not realistic. Real people have real bodies, and our expectations must be real as well. This is not about finding a supermodel wife or waiting to marry Mr. Universe.



That might sound like a no-brainer to you, but we live in a culture in which the concepts of sexual chemistry and physical attraction have become totally, completely, and irreversibly skewed. The entertainment industry and the pornography culture have completely ravaged our understanding of beauty, and namely, the beauty of a real woman. And this distorted mentality is starting to seep into the church in a truly concerning way. I know, because I hear from Millenials all the time who are battling unrealistic expectations of physical attraction. A young man afraid to marry an incredible woman because her arms were too big. A young woman hesitating to commit to a godly man because he’s shorter than she had hoped. Before we start judging, let’s consider the ways we all come to the table with an unrealistic perspective.

Our concept of beauty and sex appeal has been completely hijacked over the years to the point where our expectations are unrealistic. We won’t even consider seeing someone as attractive if they don’t measure up to the standard that Hollywood has laid out for us, or to the filters that Instagram has convinced us are real life. But we’ve got to open our eyes to the fact that the standard we’ve been fed is so far from reality.



Beauty is fluid. And our desires, as well as the people we will find attractive, are morphed and changed based on the things we allow ourselves to be exposed to. In that regard, we actually have some sort of control over the things we define as attractive and beautiful.

In a culture that is infiltrated with pornography, airbrushed billboards and magazines, plastic surgery, and Instagram filters, our standard of “beauty” has moved so far from the truth that it is causing some major damage to our relational expectations—for both men and women. The more unrealistic images we take in, the more skewed our concept of beauty will be. Single or married, you can expose yourself to so much “fantasy” that real women and real men begin to lose their luster.

We need a reset​

The only way to get our expectations moving back to reality is to realize that we need a reset. The reason we say “no” to distorted expectations of attraction is that skin-deep beauty can only last so long. Fast-forward 50, 30, or even 10 years, and your body as well as that of your spouse will have changed, sagged, and likely stretched out beyond recognition. After a few babies, a surgery or two along the way, and the unrelenting process of aging, I can guarantee you one thing: Neither of you will look the same. That is why it is so important to make sure your expectations of physical attraction are kept in check because it is only one part of the equation of lasting attraction.



In marriage, you will see your spouse at their absolute worst. You’ll see them in their most natural state—before the hair, before the makeup, before the accessories. You’ll see them through the lens of real life, which does not hide morning breath, cellulite, or other imperfections. You will be with your spouse through the days of sickness and exhaustion. What will ultimately define your marriage—and ultimately, your very life—is not the “supermodel status” of your husband or wife, but rather, their character.

Your spouse is the person who will have the greatest influence on your happiness, your confidence, and your security. Your spouse is the person who will walk with you through the highs and lows of life, help raise your children, and influence your family in every single way. According to Proverbs, a wife [or husband] of character is a treasure (Proverbs 31:10). And he who finds that finds a great thing, something worth holding onto no matter what. I know so many marriages that started with “amazing physical chemistry” and fizzled into nothing within a few short years. I also know of so many marriages that started on the foundation of good character and godliness—and continued to grow in intimacy, in respect, and in love.

It is time for us to rise above the noise of this culture and set our relationship expectations and standards on things that really matter. It is time to reset our standard of beauty by shutting off the influence of the unrealistic junk and filling our minds and hearts with the truth.

• Beauty is fleeting (Proverbs 31:30).
• Charm is deceptive (Proverbs 31:30).
• Real beauty runs deep (1 Peter 3:3).
• Real attraction is multifaceted.
• Inner beauty cannot be fabricated or replicated.
• Character is what actually defines a person.
• Spiritual health trumps everything (1 Timothy 4:8).

It is time for us to say “no” to the unrealistic standards this world is throwing our way. That starts with taking inventory of what we allow our minds to think about and our hearts to lust upon. Maybe that means making the commitment to stay away from porn. Maybe that means turning off Netflix for a while. Maybe it means stepping away from Facebook or TV or magazines. Maybe that means putting limits on how much we mindlessly scroll Instagram. Maybe it means guarding our conversations and how we allow ourselves to talk about the opposite sex.

Ultimately, it means saying no to lies that skew our perception of physical attraction—in exchange for truth. Whether we’re single, dating, engaged or married – it’s time to reset our understanding of the role of physical attraction in our romantic relationships and remember that attraction has just as much to do with character as it does with chemistry.

 

[RiverOL]

Did He Really Just Ask That Question?​

This is a true story. Names are withheld to protect the innocent. If you know my family, you know the characters.
Parents, never underestimate the wisdom of asking clarifying questions.
~~~~~~



Dad: Many of my friends know that I have hearing loss, which requires me to wear hearing aids. As those of you who have hearing loss know, you often mis-hear things that people say. Sometimes are quite funny, some are muffled sounds that you cannot make out, and some are quite shocking. So shocking that you know that individual could not have possibly said that…
Then there was last night.
As my wife and I sat eating dinner with our fifteen-year-old daughter and eleven-year-old son, we had our regular banter across the table while enjoying one of our favorite dinner options. While looking down and loading his fork for the next bite, my son, completely out of context of the current conversation, asked his sister,

“How long are your periods?”

Mom: I froze. My girl froze. Our eyes met. I glanced over at Dad, who was industriously loading his fork, eyes down. Only the quirk of his mouth told me he had heard the same thing.
Dad: Our daughter lowered her fork, not quite knowing what to say. Her eyes met my wife’s with a look of, “What did he just ask?!” Our son shoveled the now loaded fork into his mouth while I kept my head down and did my dead level best not to break out in laughter. Our daughter asked, “What did you say?” He repeated the question and reloaded his fork for round two. I could hear the wheels turning as they strove to figure out what to say. It was magnificent!


Mom: Where had this curiosity come from? I was pretty sure I’d never discussed menstrual cycles with him. Maybe he’d overheard his sister talking about it? I had no idea. But I wasn’t about to dive into that topic over orange chicken.
Dad: My wife, who is also significantly faster in processing words than anyone else at the table, looked over to our son and asked, “What do you mean by that?”
[Mom:Twenty years of parenting finally paid off!]
Dad: He looked at his sister, who then offered, “You mean at school?”
He nodded, “Yeah, how long are your class periods? They are different from mine [at the elementary].”

Oh.
Clarifying questions.

As our daughter answered him, my wife and I made eye contact and it was all I could do to not say anything. Our daughter snickered, too, and her brother was left looking at all of us in bewilderment. “What’s so funny?”
Oh nothing, son. We just didn’t know what you meant at first. How’s your chicken?

 

[RiverOL]

Seeing Boundaries In A New Light​

After years of seeing and helping patients with boundary issues, I began researching the topic to gain clarity and information. Many of my clients need assistance in setting clearer boundaries in relationships. They complain that they often give too much to others, feel depleted, and have trouble saying “no” to others.

For example, Nina, 50, a client of mine (fictitious name) often spends endless hours running errands for her mother, Susan, age 75. Even if she has her own work to do, or is feeling tired or overwhelmed, Nina will agree to pick up groceries for her mother, or spend time talking with her about her medical issues. She has trouble setting boundaries for fear of appearing selfish but it is having a negative impact on her job and health.


While it’s important to care for others, the way Nina does for Susan, we all need to practice self-care and learn to set healthy boundaries so we don’t become exhausted or resentful.
An expert on boundaries, therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab, took to social media to spread the word about her observations and solutions. Her post “Signs That You Need Boundaries” clearly struck a chord with her followers, but reached an even larger audience when the post went viral.
These are the Glover Tawwab’s Signs that You Need Boundaries:

• You feel overwhelmed.
• You feel resentment toward people for asking for your help.
• You avoid phone calls and interactions with people you think might ask for something.
• You make comments about helping people and getting nothing in return.
• You feel burned out.
• You frequently daydream about dropping everything and disappearing.
• You have no time for yourself.

In processing the “overwhelming response,” Glover Tawwab wrote that her “posts online show me how much people relate to the need for boundaries.” Indeed, she had tapped into a relatable dynamic in the lives of so many people and couples, and her pragmatic, straightforward approach led her to host weekly Q&As on Instagram where she is able to interact directly with a wide audience.


The response to her posts seemed to give a sort of permission to people looking to unpack and understand their boundary issues in a new, healthy and constructive way. Moreover, it unlocked the power of recognizing our shared experiences, demonstrating how much we can learn about ourselves by learning about others.
Glover Tawwab presented boundary issues in approachable terms, highlighting the fact that we all have “triumphs and fails” in our journey toward building and sustaining healthy relationships. She discussed the difficulties and risks in setting limits in our lives, but successfully reframed those scary hurdles by focusing on the positive impact of setting boundaries.

Her philosophy is simple and gives people the tools and perspective to view the practice of setting boundaries in a positive light. While establishing healthy boundaries might be uncomfortable — even painful — at first, Glover Tawwab provided clarity around the end result, showing her followers the light at the end of the tunnel.
Being mindful of effective and honest communication, self-evaluation, and the realities of taking action on setting boundaries both big and small, Glover Tawwab provided a sort of checklist to recognize boundary issues (“You feel overwhelmed,” or “You feel resentment toward people asking for your help,” for example).


But in addition to helping her followers recognize the telltale signs of boundary issues, Glover Tawwab also broke down the ways in which the setting of boundaries is easier to achieve. Ultimately, when writing recently about her Instagram experience on Maria Shriver’s website, this seasoned therapist put this all-too-common problem in perspective: “People don’t know what you want. It’s your job to make it clear. Clarity saves relationships.”
As with her philosophy and strategies for helping patients, clarity indeed rules the day. In the end, Glover Tawwab distills the hope that we all need in the emotionally wrought and often challenging process of setting boundaries, writing that “the more you do it, the easier it gets — especially when you experience the peace of mind that follows.”

Working with individuals with boundary issues, my take away from Glover Tawwab’s valuable insights is that becoming clearer about our own boundary issues is the first step in change. For many people, it’s a life long journey that’s worth the effort. For instance, in my work with Nina, I’ve facilitated her process of setting boundaries and still being a loving daughter to her mother Susan, but it’s a work in progress.

 

[RiverOL]

Reaching for the Top Branches​

We have a tendency to reach for the lowest hanging fruit. Whatever is easiest, serves us the quickest, or gratifies instantaneously. Shortcuts. Ease. Comfort. Familiarity.

This isn’t all bad. We have a limited amount of energy, so following patterns often makes sense. We are built for efficiency. Which is why you can tie your shoe or drive to a frequently-visited location “without even thinking about it”. We develop patterns of speech, behavior, and thought to keep from having to spend exhaustive amounts of energy on menial tasks.



But this tendency can also get in our way. Sometimes we are too efficient for our own good. Our patterns are rooted in our design for effectiveness but they can grow weeds of bias and predisposition. We can form unhealthy habits alongside our menial ones. And, when we do, it often becomes a real challenge to cipher which patterns are fine and which are destructive. Or to discern we have patterns at all.

The Easy Way​

When our brains reach an obstacle, our initial reaction is trepidation. Defense. What is this new thing? How can we get rid of it?
Conversely, when we meet something comfortable, easy, fun-looking, our first instinct is to grab it and possess it.

So, it is no surprise we find ourselves lurching and settling for the lowest hanging fruit.
Ad companies, political campaigns, and even faith-based institutions prey upon this. They may not even be doing it on purpose, just a pattern they have developed themselves.


And the result is that we are all obsessed with the easy way and weary of anything that requires effort or perseverance. The “progress” of humanity has worked hard to make us safe and comfortable. To make life easy and convenient and superfluous. And boy have we succeeded. Superficial has become the headline of our patterns. Instant gratification has become the standard.

The Right Way​

So, what do we leave behind with all of this? We often exchange the right way for the easy way. We do not question ourselves enough. We do not ask if what we are doing is true; if it really matters. Our obsession with easy and comfortable has eclipsed our ability to discern the meaningful.

The top branches, all too often, remain untouched. The branches that are really about unity with others. The ones that have to do with fruitful relationships that serve each participant but also synergize to express something greater than the sum of its parts.


In short, it is what we value that we all too often ignore. We talk to our college students about naming their values and so many of them do not know what really matters to them. They do not really know where to start! Think about that for a minute. We are walking around making our choices based on… what? What feels good or sounds fun?
Our shortcuts and patterned thinking are designed to save time and keep us safe. When that is established (and the key here is that we are weary to admit when this is in fact established), we are designed to move on to more meaningful considerations. But we constantly adopt the narrative that we are in mortal danger, that there are a million things to be afraid of, that we are under attack when someone disagrees or does not like our fashion choices.

All the while, our values wait on the top branches, soaking up sun and waiting for us to visit.
If we want to live a victorious life, a transformed life, we have to stop settling for the low branches and begin to expend our time, energy, and resources to truly contemplate what it means to reach higher.

 

[RiverOL]

Story: A Struggling Light​

Luz felt very odd shining so bright and standing out from the shelf on which he sat in the palace throne room. He wanted to blend in a little more. Let me just inch over here behind this ledge, he thought to himself.
“Luz, what are you doing?” Beacon called out from a nearby shelf.

“I just don’t want to stand out quite so much,” Luz replied. “I figured everyone would be more comfortable around me if I just blended in a little.”
Beacon wagged his wick at Luz. “No, no, Luz. Don’t you see? You’re a light. You’re supposed to be different than the darkness. It’s your job to shine brightly. Your life isn’t about you—it’s about shining light in a darkness.”

Luz knew Beacon was right. “But it’s so dark…”
“All the more reason to shine brightly,” came Beacon’s response.

A few weeks later, Luz had the opposite problem. He wanted everyone to notice him. He kept trying to extend his wick extra high, hoping people would see what a great light he was. He was burning bright…and he liked it when others noticed.
Beacon again had to caution his light friend. “Luz, why were you lit?”
“To shine brightly,” Luz replied, confused by the question. Had Beacon forgotten his previous lecture?

“To shine brightly so that people could see the King on his throne. Your job is not for people to see you, but the King.”
Luz knew Beacon was right. He trimmed his wick a little and looked toward the throne himself. He discovered that if he kept his own gaze there, his light shone brightly in a way that illuminated the darkness for others to see the King too.

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” Matthew 5:14-16 (ESV)

 

[RiverOL]

Mom Moment: Your Children Are Watching You​

“I like spicy food, just like Daddy.”
It’s cute when our children want to be just like Mommy and Daddy, but it’s also a bit sobering. After all, they’re watching how we handle life’s daily trials…and copying us.

We all know how irritating it is when our child decides to whine and complain instead of complying quickly. But do we whine and complain to God? Are we setting the example of cheerfully embracing what God Sovereignly allows each day, even if it goes against everything we wanted? Most of us would say “yes” if God Himself showed up and said “this is my plan,” but we tend to forget that He is Sovereign over every detail in our lives, which means every little irritation and upset to our plans happened with His okay. Do we get angry or worried by life’s interruptions, or do we embrace them as a trial God has allowed and praise Him through it?

We all want our children to react well when their friends act poorly—to be courageous leaders. But do we keep our hearts at peace when our children act foolishly or are in a bad mood? Are we showing them how to truly be courageous leaders, not letting those around them negatively affect how they live?

And how are we handling our failures (which we ALL have)? Do we try to hide them, or are we honest about how much we need Jesus and modeling repentance?
If we want our light to shine for our children so they glorify God (Matthew 5:14-16), we have to be humble and honest about how much we need Jesus every day, and about how it’s His strength that helps us overcome.

Our children are watching us. They’re learning by how we live.

 

[RiverOL]

Developing Christian Goodness​

​

Developing Christian Goodness​

Galatians 5:22-23​

Mark 10:17-22​

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. The law is not against such things.” (Galatians 5:22–23, CSB)

As we continue in our study of the Fruit of the Spirit from Galatians 5:22-23, we come to the fruit of goodness. Remember that the love of God brings the joy of God that leads to the peace of God that builds in us the patience of God that outwardly shows as the kindness of God. Goodness is connected to kindness.

In the beginning of our English language, the word “good” carried the same connotation as the name “God.” In Jewish tradition, the title, “The Good” was actually used for God. Goodness may appear to be the most obvious fruit but is in fact, often misunderstood and even maligned. Our culture tends to make fun of those who are “goody-two-shoes” kind of people. While love, joy, and peace step up to the plate and hit home runs, goodness does its best to just get a single. Many don’t consider it very important or even desirable today.

Part of our problem is that we’ve overused the word. We say that we had a good vacation, a good cry, or a good meal. This morning I want us to look at how the word “good” is used in the Bible. In particular, I want to focus on an encounter Jesus had with a man who considered himself to be very good from Mark 10:17-22.
After watching Jesus pick up little children and bless them, a wealthy man ran up to Jesus, fell on his knees, and as he tried to catch his breath said, “Good teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?”

Jesus turned to the inquisitive man and asked, “Why do you call me good? No one is good – except God alone. You know the commandments: ‘Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother.’”
The man did a quick inventory and said, “I’ve kept all these since I was a boy. There’s got to be more. Is there something that I’m still missing?

Surprisingly, Jesus did not argue with him or point out that he couldn’t possibly have kept all these commands. Instead, he looked intently at him with eyes of love and then said, “You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
When the young man heard this, his face fell. He walked away sad because he had a lot of money.
I see three main truths from this passage that will help us glide toward goodness.

• God is good
• We are not good
• Goodness comes as a result of following Christ

God is Good
“As he was setting out on a journey, a man ran up, knelt down before him, and asked him, “Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?”” (Mark 10:17, CSB)
The young rich ruler starts out by calling Jesus “good.” Jesus stops him and says, “Why do you call me good when only God is intrinsically good?” His answer must have surprised the man because at first glance it had no connection with the man’s question. Instead of answering his inquiry, Jesus makes the man realize the essence of goodness as exhibited in God.
“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his faithful love endures forever.” (1 Chronicles 16:34, CSB)
“You are good, and you do what is good; teach me your statutes.” (Psalm 119:68, CSB)


God is good…all the time.
The young man had addressed Jesus as “Good Teacher.” Perhaps he was trying to compliment or flatter Him. In the definitive sense of that word, Jesus could not be “good” if He was a mere mortal man. Only God was good and that could only mean one thing. Jesus could not be good unless He was also God. Some liberal commentators have suggested that this is one clear occasion when Jesus denies his deity. Actually, Jesus is equating himself with God, “If you know what good really means, you’ll understand that only God is good. Therefore if you call me good, then you’re calling me God. Are you prepared to acknowledge who I really am?
”
We Are Not Good
““Why do you call me good?” Jesus asked him. “No one is good except God alone.” (Mark 10:18, CSB)
Jesus was also making the point that this young man was not good. Only God is. His concept of “good” was mistaken. It clouded his perception of Jesus and it clouded his understanding of himself. Until he could see that Jesus was God incarnate who demanded his complete allegiance, and until he recognized his own sinfulness, he could not truly find the eternal life he was searching for. In short, he thought too little of Jesus and too much of himself. He overestimated his own goodness and grossly underestimated who Jesus was.


It was a common belief in that time that someone had to do something to earn eternal life. That’s still pretty popular today. Many believe that God will add up their good works and their bad works; and if the good outweighs the bad, then they will get into heaven. Friends, we can’t truly find eternal life until we see that we fall far short of God’s standards of goodness and until we recognize that Jesus is God Himself, sent to redeem us from our sins by dying as our substitute on the cross.

The young man thought that he had kept all of God’s standards for goodness and was able to say that he had not committed adultery or murder, that he had never stolen or lied, and that he honored his father and mother. While he may have kept these commands, Jesus is about to show him the true state of his heart.
“All have turned away; all alike have become corrupt. There is no one who does good, not even one.” (Psalm 14:3, CSB)
Psalm 14:3 says that “there is no one who does good, not even one.” This passage is quoted by Paul in Romans 3:12 and expanded in Romans 3:23 when he writes, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”


“All have turned away; all alike have become worthless. There is no one who does what is good, not even one.” (Romans 3:12, CSB)
“For no one will be justified in his sight by the works of the law, because the knowledge of sin comes through the law.” (Romans 3:20, CSB)
While this man was trying to justify himself by pointing to his outward obedience to the law, Romans 3:20 makes it very clear that “…no one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin.”

The purpose of the law is to serve like a mirror that reveals our blemishes and sins so that we see our need for Christ. He may have kept some of the commandments, but it was impossible to keep all of them, all the time. It’s as if Jesus is saying, “That’s really good that you’ve kept these important commands, but you’re still missing out on how to have eternal life. There’s no way you can be good enough to get to heaven. Let me show you what I mean. Sell everything you have and give it to the poor.”


Jesus is showing the man that he had broken the first and second commandments by making money his master. Shekels were his savior and gold was his god. He may also have broken the commandment against coveting as exhibited in his unwillingness to give his money to those who really needed it. The sin of covetousness is subtle and difficult to detect, and yet it can cause a person to break all the other commandments. 1 Timothy 6:10: “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.”

Goodness Comes as a Result of Following Christ
“Looking at him, Jesus loved him and said to him, “You lack one thing: Go, sell all you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”” (Mark 10:21, CSB)
“Jesus looked at him and loved him.” Isn’t that amazing? This man loved his money more than anything else and yet Jesus still lavished him with love. Jesus could have told the man he was wrong or judged him or rolled His eyes at him. Instead, He loved him. Wow.


Jesus didn’t love the man because he was good, or because he kept all the religious requirements. Not at all. It was actually just the opposite. Jesus saw that he was trying to do the right things but was deluded. There was no way he could measure up and Jesus loved him anyway.
He does the same for you and me. He sees all of our efforts that fall short. He sees our sins that pile up before Him. And yet, He looks at us with love. Out of this abundance of love, Jesus says, “One thing you lack. Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” To be good means to be kind and generous.

This doesn’t mean that each of us have to sell everything we have if we want to be a disciple. Jesus was addressing a very specific need that this guy had, and in so doing, exposed his heart. He personalized the message for him. Because he was rich, he told him to liquidate his estate and give the money to the poor.
Friend, what one thing is keeping you from faith in Christ? What’s keeping you from full surrender? What is that you’re holding on to right now that is getting in the way of you following Christ? Is it money? A relationship? Is it your time? Could it be a bad habit that you secretly enjoy? Just as Jesus pinpointed the root problem for this man, He looks at you with love this morning and says, “This one thing you lack. Let it go, come and follow me.”


This man turned down the gift of eternal life because his fist was so clenched around his money that he couldn’t imagine devoting his life to anything else. When faced with the choice of loving God and others or protecting his possessions, he chose the selfish route. Mark 10:22 vividly describes an individual who is more in love with himself than with God and others: “At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth.” The Greek word translated “sad” gives the picture of storm clouds gathering. The man, who had run up to Jesus, now shuffles away while an internal storm ravages his soul.

It’s interesting that Jesus did not go chasing after him. The man was caught in the web of trying to serve both God and money as he realized the truth of Matthew 6:24: “No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.” Money is a marvelous servant but a terrible master. It’s good to have the things money can buy, provided you don’t lose the things that money cannot buy. Of all the people who came to the feet of Jesus, this man is the only one who went away worse than he came.


He had everything that money could buy, and yet he wanted something far more important. He saw it, caught a glimpse of it in Jesus and still walked away. People do this all the time. They recognize that Jesus can satisfy all that they need, and yet they don’t want to fully follow Him by giving up that which they are serving. I can’t think of anything much sadder than that. Are you going to walk away sad this morning or are you going to follow Christ?
Now, how does this passage relate to the fruit of goodness? Only God is good and we are not. We can’t get to heaven by trying to be good because we’ll never be good enough. The only way to be good is to be made good by Christ through conversion. If we want to do good things we must first submit and surrender to the One who alone is good. Then, His goodness will flow through us.

One Thing You Lack
“Looking at him, Jesus loved him and said to him, “You lack one thing: Go, sell all you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” But he was dismayed by this demand, and he went away grieving, because he had many possessions.” (Mark 10:21–22, CSB)
Before we end this morning, I would be doing you a disservice if you just left here trying to be good. Some of you have not yet put your faith in Jesus for forgiveness of sins and eternal life. You may be like the young man who sensed something was not quite right and so he came running up to Jesus. His goodness wasn’t near good enough. Jesus told him, and he tells you this morning, “One thing you lack.”

If you have never been born again by receiving Jesus Christ into your life, this is the “one thing you lack.” You may be pretty good. You may even be coming to church. You may be giving some of your money to God. But if you have never repented of your sins and put your faith in Christ alone, you still lack one thing. It’s your choice. God is good. You’re not. But you can be if you follow Christ and submit to His leadership in your life. You can do that right now as we conclude with prayer.

 

[RiverOL]

4 Ways That Christians Respond to the Heavy Truth That Jesus is the Only Way to Heaven​

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6
Jesus is the only way to God, Jesus is God, if you believe in Jesus you shall not perish. But if you don’t place your trust in Jesus, then you will perish. Jesus talks about this eternal perishing as hell, hades or eternal fire.
That’s why the resurrection of Jesus is so central. He performed miracle after miracle, proving he was divine, including the ultimate miracle, when he rose from the dead, validating every exclusive claim he made about himself. So, when other religions honor Jesus as a prophet or a good teacher, but not the Son of God, they are not placing their trust in Jesus for forgiveness and salvation, and Jesus himself said he’s the only way to heaven. How do Christians respond to this heavy truth?


1. Some Christians ignore the whole issue. They choose to avoid the question, they want to live their best life now and not get dragged down by all that heavy truth. It’s much easier to get caught up in sports, career, a new season of their favorite tv show than to really feel the weight of what this heavy truth implies.
2. Some Christians change Scripture. They can’t imagine that their God would ever allow something like that to happen, so they change Scripture or change God to fit with what’s comfortable for them. Everyone wins, we all get a participation trophy, there are no eternal consequences to our sin.
3. Some Christians know the truth but just don’t care. Some acknowledge that people who don’t believe in Jesus are going to hell, they admit that hell is real, but they just don’t care enough to actually do anything about it. As selfish as this is, if some Christians were honest they would say, “I’m good, I’m going to heaven. Everyone else is on their own.” The problem with that approach is: if we’re that heartless and if there’s no love of God inside of us for others, then have we actually given our lives over to God?


4. Some Christians acknowledge the truth of Scripture and they do something about it. If the first group avoids the issue, if the second group changes Scripture to make themselves more comfortable, if the third group knows people are going to hell but through their actions they just don’t really care, the fourth group acknowledges the truth of Scripture and does something about it.
Jesus is the only way to heaven, hell is a real destination for those that don’t trust in him, and there are hundreds of people you interact with every month that are on the road to eternal separation from God in hell. That is the painful, uncomfortable, but honest truth. So, here’s the million dollar question: what are you doing about it? What are you willing to do about it?

 

[RiverOL]

It Matters​ [ 1 min read ★ ]

. . . work with a smile on your face . . . you’re really serving God—Ephesians 6:5-8​

How do you think about work, about your work? Is it awesome? Drudgery? A calling? A means to an end? Separate from your faith? An expression of your faith? God designed us, built us, for work (Genesis 2:15). Work is his gift, not his punishment, nor even a necessary evil. It’s how we’re brought into how he’s blessing and helping his sons and daughters (Ephesians 4:28). You see, God provides his blessings and help . . . through people . . . through us. The blessing of a house, for example, is given by God, but through the people who build it; who assist in its purchase, like the realtor and the banker; who make and sell the furnishings; who maintain it; and even those who insure the house against its loss. All this seemingly secular work becomes sacred when it’s done (1) to love and serve God and his purposes, and (2) to love and serve God’s sons and daughters. It may not seem like it sometimes—especially with supply chains as long and complex as they are today—but it does. There’s no menial or meaningless work as long as it helps someone else in a positive way. It’s in this, in being part of God’s blessing and helping others, that we find our purpose and meaning (Matthew 20:26-28). It’s also how we find joy. Our King, Jesus Christ, teaches us this: “You’re far happier giving than getting” (Acts 20:33-35; John 15:11-15 MSG). Contrary to what our culture teaches, we’re happier exhausting ourselves for the good of others—putting their needs before our own.

Okay, so what do we do?​ Who are you serving? Who are you blessing with your work? How might God view it? Spend a few moments in prayer, asking these questions . . . and listening . . . listening for the Holy Spirit.

 

[RiverOL]

Gearing Up for Work​ [ 1 min read ★ ]

. . . you have put off the old self . . . and have put on the new self—Colossians 3:9-10​

At work, we serve. We serve the users of products and services that we and our companies produce and sell. But what about the people working alongside us? What about the people with whom we spend so much time—our bosses, our teams, our peers, our rivals, our friends? What about those who inspire and teach us, or who frustrate and annoy us? Well, each one was designed and built by our Creator God. Each was found worthy of the great sacrifice of our King, Jesus Christ. And each was put into our lives for a reason. So our responsibility is clear: we must love them (Matthew 22:36-40). We must love (and serve and lead and influence) all the people with whom we work. Now, this kind of thing is undertaken best with action—not “in word or talk but in deed and in truth” (1 John 3:18). It’s done by doing. It’s done by treating people with care; doing our work with care; doing the hard things, when the hard things are the right things. It’s done by allowing ourselves to become the people we’re meant to become. It’s done, actually, by simply becoming ourselves—our new selves. For that, though, we must first put on the proper gear: “. . . dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love” (Colossians 3:12-14 MSG).

Okay, so what do we do?​ What’s something you can do today, brother, to love or serve or lead or influence someone at work? Take it up a notch, maybe, and focus on the toughest person—the last one you’d normally choose.

 

[RiverOL]

How The Trinity Works In Our Salvation​

We are saved by the redeeming work of Jesus Christ, but the other members of the Trinity are also at work in our salvation.

The Father​

How does the Father work with the Son and the Holy Spirit in our salvation? Jesus mentions the Father’s role when He says, “No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him. And I will raise him up on the last day” (John 6:44). To make it even clearer, He says “that no one can come to me unless it is granted him by the Father” (John 6:65), so it is not we who found God (Who was not missing!), but God found us; He called us. Salvation is not a decision we make. It is an act of God upon those whom He brings to repentance and faith (Acts 5:11, 11:18; 2 Tim 2:24-26).

Jesus assures believers that “All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out” (John 6:37). It is the Father’s promise to deliver you into the kingdom as Jesus again says, “this is the will of him who sent me, that I should lose nothing of all that he has given me, but raise it up on the last day” (John 6:39). Twice in three sentences, Jesus says that “All” will come to Him and of all given to Him (Jesus), so not one will be lost, as a result of the Father drawing us to Christ. Think of it this way; God thought us; God sought us; God caught us; God bought us; and God taught us. It’s all about God and not about us (Psalm 115:1).

The Son​

During Jesus’ earthly ministry, the disciples were always concerned with where they’d be ruling in the coming Kingdom, but Jesus told them that they had it all wrong. Here is the Living God, Jesus Christ; the omnipotent God, telling them that “even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45). They thought like most of the world thinks; the greatest person is the one with the most servants, but Jesus flips that on its head, saying that “whoever would be first among you must be slave of all” (Mark 10:44).

The Apostle Peter could not be clearer about how Jesus Christ brings salvation to the sinner. Peter says “that you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold” (1 Pet 1:18). All the wealth in the universe would not be sufficient to redeem even on sinner. It took “the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot” (1 Pet 1:19) to redeem us. There was absolutely no other way (Acts 4:12).

The Spirit​

The Holy Spirit has a special role as He seals us for eternity, just as a letter from a king had a wax seal on it, and anyone who was unauthorized to open it would meet a certain death. Only those who had the authority could open it, and in this case, it was the Lamb of God. The Apostle Paul says that God has “predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will” (Eph 1:5), and “when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him [you] were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit” (Eph 1:13).

The Holy Spirit was how God quickened us to new life and birthed us from above (John 3:3-7). Every believer should think back and remember that “you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience—“ (Eph 2:1-2). In fact, “we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind” (Eph 2:3), and without hope. So what changed? It was the fact that “God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved” (Eph 2:4-5).


Lazarus could not have resurrected himself any more than we could have quickened ourselves to new life in Christ. The work of the Spirit is also found in the Word of God, since “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness” (2 Tim 3:16), and no prophecy, and I would say, no Scripture would have been written except for the Spirit of God. Scripture was never “produced by the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit” (2 Pet 1:21), and the Word of God is living and active, and discerns the innermost “thoughts and intents of the heart” (Heb 4:12), revealing to us what sin is (Rom 7:7; 1 John 3:4). The Spirit of God brings home the fact that we are sinners and we need saving. Jesus, speaking of the coming Holy Spirit, said that when He comes, “he will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment” (John 16:8), and that is just what He’s done to untold numbers throughout the ages.

Conclusion​

The Trinity are always in perfect agreement with one another. All Three are working together in our salvation, so all Three Persons of the Trinity are actively involved in our redemption. The Father calls us or draws us to Christ, and as Jesus said, all that He draws, will all be delivered to the Son. The Son saves us; giving His perfect, sinless life of obedience as a ransom for us. The Holy Spirit convicts us of our sins, making us aware of our need for Christ through His inner work, and through the outer Word, the Word of God. It is the Word of God, shared by a person of God, with the Spirit of God, to birth a child of God, through the Son of God and for the glory of God.

 

[RiverOL]

4 Misconceptions That Keep You From Growing Spiritually​

Every Christian should want to grow spiritually, but spiritual growth is not automatic. Just like malnutrition can stunt physical growth and a traumatic event can stunt emotional growth, these four misconceptions can hinder your spiritual growth.
1. Spiritual age does not equal spiritual maturity. If you’ve been a Christian for 40 years, that doesn’t automatically mean that you are more mature than someone who’s been a Christian for only a few years. We see this in everyday life. Sometimes you’ll find a 16-year-old that is more mature than a 40-year-old. Age doesn’t automatically equal maturity. Spiritual growth isn’t automatic. It’s something you have to be intentional about.



2. Spiritual growth is not simply you trying harder to be holy, but allowing God to work in you and transform you. This is the whole point of the book of Galatians. Spiritual growth is not a checklist of things you have to do to earn God’s approval. The Apostle Paul talked about the difference between living by the flesh and walking in the Spirit. Living by the flesh is you trying on your own to be a more holy person. That will absolutely wear you out.

Living by the Spirit is like having a navigation app tell you where to go when you drive somewhere new. Living by the Spirit is not one of those self-driven cars that does all the work for you. Living by the Spirit doesn’t mean you don’t take responsibility. Living by the Spirit is like having a navigation map point out where to go and where to turn. The Holy Spirit is guiding you. But not only is the Holy Spirit your guide through life, He’s your power. He’s the engine in the car of your life, propelling you forward. It’s still up to you to turn the steering wheel where the Spirit tells you to go. It’s still up to you to push the little pedal on the bottom of the floorboard, but when you push the pedal it’s the engine that makes it go. The Holy Spirit will guide you and the Spirit will empower you to grow, but you still have a part to play.



3. Agreement is not the same as obedience. This is the flip side of #2. It’s important to understand that there is a huge difference between agreement and obedience. Let me illustrate it this way: I think we would all agree that eating healthy is good for you. If you struggle with your weight or perhaps your health, I would bet that you would agree that you need to make healthier choices when you eat. Agreement is not the issue. It’s following through with what you agree with that makes all the difference. To grow, we actually have to do something.

4. Spiritual disciplines don’t exist to punish you, but to free you. Anytime you hear the word discipline, we automatically associate negative thoughts to it. No one likes to be disciplined. No one likes discipline. But we need it. Spiritual disciplines don’t exist to punish you and steal your joy. And spiritual growth is definitely not a checklist of things you have to do to keep God happy. Again, go back to the book of Galatians.


God doesn’t give us spiritual disciplines as a way to punish us or keep us in chains, but as a way to free us. Think of it like diet and exercise. Diet and exercise are both disciplines. And we can look as diet and exercise as a way to punish you and make you miserable, which will pretty much guarantee that you won’t stick with diet and exercise. In reality, diet and exercise don’t exist to punish you, but to free you. To free you with more energy, with a better outlook on life, to free you with better health and to free you from the complications of obesity and bad health.

In the moment, no one is saying “diet and exercise are amazing!” But once you see and feel the results, aren’t you glad that you diet and exercise? Spiritual disciplines operate in the same way. They don’t exist to punish you, but to free you.

 

[RiverOL]

5 Boundaries to Save You from Unhealthy Relationships and Manipulative People​

I recently sat down with a young couple who is going through a very serious struggle in their marriage because of someone outside their marriage. You might assume I’m talking about a mistress or an emotional affair, but this has nothing to do with wrongdoing on the part of either spouse. Their struggle has to do with an overbearing parent.


The husband’s mom (and the wife’s mother-in-law) has bombarded the young couple with pressures, demands, emotional pleas, tantrums, threats, bullying, name-calling and a myriad of other unpleasant tactics to get her way and to manipulate the dynamics within the family’s relationships. She seems to see their marriage as a threat to the relationship and influence she once had with her son. See seems to view her daughter-in-law as competition for her son’s attention rather than a beloved new addition to the family.

This young couple seemed exhausted by their dealings with what seems to be a narcissistic and emotionally unstable person. They want to honor and respect her. They want their young daughter to have a relationship with her grandmother. They want peace and no drama, but they also don’t want to be a doormat to her unhealthy demands. Sadly, their struggle is a very common one.

It’s very common for a couple to face an overbearing parent (or parents) in their marriage, but dealing with overbearing and emotionally unhealthy people can happen in all parts of life (work, school, home, etc.). Not if, but WHEN you find yourself in a relationship with someone who is bullying, manipulative, unstable or unhealthy in any way, for the sake of your family and your sanity, PLEASE implement the following boundaries.
5 Boundaries to save you from unhealthy relationships and manipulative people (in no particular order)...

1. “Teach” them how to treat you by how you treat them AND by how you allow them to treat you.

Make sure you’re not responding to negativity with negativity. Don’t sink to their level because you’ll lose. It’s been said that when you wrestle with a pig in the m&d, you BOTH get dirty, but the pig likes it! Be kind and respectful even when it’s not returned; not as a reflection of their character but as a reflection of yours. If the difficult person continues to bully, you might need to remove them from your life to protect yourself and your family until they change their toxic behavior. This leads directly into #2.

Communicate THIS over and over to the difficult person.…

2. Let difficult people know that THEY choosing not to be part of your life based on how they are acting.

It can be difficult to tell someone (especially someone older than you like a parent) that their behavior is out-of-bounds. Do this with gentleness and respect but also with a resolute firmness that you can’t compromise on this for the sake of your own family. If this difficult throws a fit and starts trying to manipulate or sabotage the situation, remind him/her that THEY are choosing not to be part of your life based on their decisions. You’re outlining the clear boundaries like the concrete median on an interstate; to protect everyone on the road. If they can’t abide by those boundaries, people will get hurt, so their behavior is forfeiting their opportunity for a relationship until (or unless) they make changes. You can’t make them change their behavior, but they can’t make you abide by their unhealthy behaviors. You aren’t removing them from your life, they need to know that they, by their own decisions, are causing the break in the relationship.

#3 might be the most important one on the list if you are married…

3. (For those who are married) Be completely UNIFIED with your spouse in your approach to dealing with this difficult person.

If there’s an overbearing parent (or anyone else) who is trying to insert themselves into your marital business or to pull you away from your spouse, you and your spouse MUST be unified. You can’t be divided. Behind closed doors you might have disagreements about how to best handle the situation, but especially in public and in your communication with the difficult person you must always be united. If your spouse is the one who is the difficult and unhealthy person, that’s a completely different set of issues and I’d encourage you to start by checking out our program at FightingForMyMarriage.com..

#4 is SO difficult to do but it could change the relationship AND change your own perspective in the process…

4. Don’t treat them like they treat you. Treat them like God treats you.

God gives us forgiveness, love and grace event when we don’t deserve it and then calls us to love others like he has loved us. As a Christian, I believe Jesus was the perfect embodiment of grace, love, truth, strength and all that’s good in relationships. He showed radical grace. He modeled what love was supposed to look like, he “turned the other cheek” when insulted, BUT he also refused to be anyone’s doormat. If people weren’t willing to be in a healthy relationship, he didn’t chase after them. He gave them space and didn’t compromise his character or the rules that must exist in all healthy relationships as a way to appease people who weren’t pleased with him. We can learn a LOT about dealing with difficult people form his example.

#5 sums everything up in one important point…

5. Do all you can to live at peace with them, but if they refuse to live at peace with you, then live your life in peace without them.

This “tough love” can be so difficult, but sometimes someone will simply refuse to be in a relationship with you unless they’re pulling all the strings and you’re jumping through their hoops. Do all you can to live at peace and be one who builds bridges instead of tearing them down, but if this person isn’t willing to do their part, then you might need to love them from a distance. Don’t let them manipulate you or control your or steal your joy. Pray for them. Put the situation in God’s hands, and once you’ve done all you can, move forward in peace and trust God to do the rest.

 

[RiverOL]

4 Bad Habits That Will Make You Justify Cheating​

Cheating is just wrong. Most people would agree. If we all know it’s wrong, how can cheating be justified?
Why do so many people cheat?


Cheating doesn’t just happen. You make up your mind to cheat long before you do it. After you make the decision, you look for reason to justify it.
He cheated on me. He spends too much time on his phone. He works too much. I’m lonely.

Whatever the reason, cheating’s never okay.​

You can justify anything you want. When you’re running through the rationale in your head, some habits make it easier to come up with justification.
Here are four habits that make you ripe for justifying cheating.

1. Threatening divorce
You may think threatening divorce sounds tough, but it eats at the foundation of your relationship. If you’re always thinking of a way out, it may be easy to justify infidelity. Threatening divorce also affects intimacy. It calls commitment into question. You may find yourself emotionally detaching from your husband. Look for reasons to stay in your marriage instead of looking for reasons to get out.

2. Gossiping about your husband
Complaining about your husband to others is gossip. When you tell someone the negative attributes of your husband, you undermine your marriage. You might feel better when you’re finished, but without realizing it, you may be doing long-term damage to your marriage. Complaining about your husband will make you vulnerable to an affair. When you’re constantly pointing out what’s wrong with your husband, it’s natural to notice what’s right about someone else. You may start to see yourself as a victim, which makes it easier to justify cheating. Be your husband’s biggest encourager not his biggest critic.

3. Hanging with friends who don’t like your husband
When you spend time with people who don’t like your husband, they’re not going to support your marriage or your fidelity. They may even encourage you to compromise your character. They may help you find excuses or justification for doing so. Hang out with people who respect marriage and want strong marriages themselves. If your friends don’t like your husband, get new friends.

4. Keeping secrets
Social media makes it easy to lead a secret life and hide things from your husband. Keeping secrets can do long-term damage to your relationship. A secretive mindset will open you up to adultery. Keeping secrets makes it easier to justify doing the wrong thing and may lead to romanticizing about a life you don’t have. If you want to protect yourself from adultery, never keep secrets from your husband. Be an open book. Share your thoughts, which will build intimacy.

 

[RiverOL]

Four Biblical Questions to Help You Better Study the Bible​

The Bible has long fascinated (and rightfully so) Christians for 2000 years. But how can you study it better? How do you get the most out of what God has revealed about Himself, creation, sin, the human condition, and so many other things in Scripture? While there are a number of helpful ways to dig into and get the most out of Scripture, there are four biblical questions you can ask that come from Scripture itself.
All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:6-17


Let’s key in on those four words that Paul used: teaching, rebuking, correcting and training. Paul says Scripture is incredibly useful and profitable in these four areas. What do those words mean in the original language?

Teaching – to impart knowledge or skill
Rebuking – an act or expression of criticism or censure
Correcting – the act of offering an improvement (according to a standard) to replace a mistake

Training – the whole education and instruction of a disciple (both the cultivation of mind and morals); understood as the rearing and education of children
So with those incredible benefits offered to us every time we open the Scriptures, here are four questions that can help us not only study Scripture but walk away with the full experience God wants us to have. Think of it like this: let’s say you’re going to a concert with your favorite band. It’s one thing to go and sit in the back row where you can barely see the stage. Sure you hear the music and experience the atmosphere, but there’s a huge difference between that and getting front row seats along with a backstage VIP pass where you can interact with the band directly. Every time you open Scripture, don’t settle for the back row. Get the VIP experience! These four questions are your ticket in every time you study Scripture:


1. What does it mean? (teaching)
What is the meaning behind what you read? What is God communicating to us? How does it all fit together? Where else in Scripture does God say the same thing? This is where most Bible studies start and stop. They do a great job understanding the bits and pieces of a Bible verse, without moving onto the next three questions.
2. Where am I failing? (rebuking)
When we study Scripture, the Holy Spirit (if we’re listening) will always bring rebuke and conviction. Not to punish us, but to heal us. If we truly gaze into Scripture with open eyes, we’ll see our own sins and imperfections reflected back to us. We can’t fix a problem until we know it’s there. Scripture can expose even the hidden sins of our hearts, and that’s a good thing because it leads to the third question.
3. What’s the Bible way? (correcting)
Scripture doesn’t expose our sin to shame us but to show us the better way. According to God’s way and His righteousness, we see the straight and narrow road paved out before us in Scripture. If you want to be better, live more freely and walk in the steps of Jesus, allow Scripture to show you the better way.


4. How do I live this out? (training)
Similar to the third question, being trained by Scripture has an element of time attached to it. Scripture is not something you can go to in an instant, find a quick answer, and be on your way. There’s an aspect of the transformation and training of Scripture that can only come in terms of months and years, not minutes or even hours. When you study Scripture, ask how this should impact your daily life at home, at work, at school. Don’t walk away from Scripture until you’ve walked away with a couple of practical things you can do to make your life look more like Jesus.

 

[RiverOL]

Going Through Hell​ [ 1 min read ★ ]

. . . fear not, for I am with you—Isaiah 41:10​

You know when you’re in the thick of it—facing tough financial circumstances, or maybe a problem with work or a relationship, or a health issue or an addiction? You know that “I just don’t know what to do” feeling? Most of us do, maybe all of us. The thing is, we actually do know what to do—we know exactly what to do. It’s just hard, in those moments, to remember . . . and to trust. But we must remember and trust our Father God. He sees and he knows . . . and sometimes he allows. We must not be “surprised at the fiery trial,” therefore, “as though something strange were happening” (1 Peter 4:12). When he allows hardship, though, it’s always for good—even if that’s not, at first, very obvious (James 1:2-4; Hebrews 12:1-11; Romans 8:28). And we must remember and trust our King, Jesus Christ. He is truth. He teaches us what to do in any ordeal. He knows like no other. “Fear not, I am the first and the last, and the living one. I died, and behold I am alive forevermore, and I have the keys of Death and Hades” (Revelation 1:17-18). And we must remember and trust our God the Holy Spirit. He’s always with us, in every moment (John 14:16). And he can help and strengthen us, whatever the hardship. The “Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead” exists within us, and can certainly bring new life to our circumstances too (Romans 8:11).

Okay, so what do we do?​ If you’re in the thick of it now, trust that God has a plan; follow your King, as he knows the plan and knows the way; and ask the Holy Spirit for help. If you’re not, take a minute to pray.

 

[RiverOL]

Bible Verses For Those In Prison​

Today, thousands of prisoners are turning to Christ by different ministries and Bible studies, and many prisoners are being set free while behind bars, so here are some great Bible verses for those who are in prison to study that might be helpful to them.

Remembering​

Our church has a prison ministry where we write letters, bring meals to some, do visitation, and provide biblical articles and Bible studies for each individual prisoner that is custom written just for them, but there is no real power in what we do because the real power is in the Word of God, so we use the Word of God and pray for the Spirit of God to create more children of God, and all for the glory of God.

Mostly, prisoners are out of sight and out of mind, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t hurting, and their families aren’t hurting. We don’t only minister to the prisoners, but to their families as well, so by all means, we must “Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them, and those who are mistreated, since you also are in the body” (Heb 13:3). Clearly, the Lord doesn’t forget them (Matt 25:36), because we know that “the LORD hears the needy and does not despise his own people who are prisoners” (Psalm 69:33). The way Jesus sees it is when “I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me” (Matt 25:36). Why? It’s because, “as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me” (Matt 25:40). Our mission is closely associated with Jesus’ mission while He was here on earth, and that was “To open the eyes that are blind, to bring out the prisoners from the dungeon, from the prison those who sit in darkness” (Isaiah 42:7).

Set Free​

When we share the gospel of Jesus Christ, we are not depending on our own strength or convincing arguments but rather, “is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek” (Rom 1:16), so even though “the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing…to us who are being saved it is the power of God” (1 Cor 1:18), so it is the Lord “Who executes justice for the oppressed, who gives food to the hungry.

The LORD sets the prisoners free” (Psalm 146:7), not us, and many are being freed indeed…and in many cases, they are freer than those who are outside of prison walls. Some believers around the world suffer from being imprisoned for their faith and not actually breaking the law, but for those who serve with us, we know that they “had compassion on those in prison, and you joyfully accepted the plundering of your property, since you knew that you yourselves had a better possession and an abiding on” (Heb 10:34).

No matter how dark or hopeless they might feel, we can say for sure that “For those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Rom 8:28). Just as Joseph was unfairly thrown into prison, many are being imprisoned around the world for no more reason that trusting in Christ, but like Joseph, they realize that even though it was “meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today” (Gen 50:20).

Called​

Not many people have been called into a prison ministry, comparatively speaking, and our church’s prison ministry was not what we had planned…it just happened as God opened door after door to the prisons so we can walk in and preach the gospel. That allows us to fulfill what Isaiah the Prophet wrote about what Christ’s mission would be, where “the Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, because the LORD has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound” (Isaiah 61:1).

Jesus quoted Isaiah when He said, “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed” (Luke 1:18). When we receive letters from these prisoners, it’s as if we “Let the groans of the prisoners come before [us, and we pray] according to your great power, preserve those doomed to die” (Psalm 79:11).

Conclusion​

Even though we minister to prisoners, we also teach Romans 13, which among other things, says to “Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment” (Rom 13:1-2).

It’s not as if these guards and law enforcement authorities were placed there by accident, but rather they are “God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer. Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God’s wrath but also for the sake of conscience” (Rom 13:4-5). Most of us can only imagine what it’s like to live behind prison walls, so if you know someone who is, why not send these Bible verses for those in prison to study…and give them hope, as only God’s Word can do.

 

[RiverOL]

Reading the Bible Fast and Slow​

J



READING THE BIBLE FAST AND SLOW
By David George Moore
Some of Dave’s teaching videos can be found at www.mooreengaging.com and his books can be accessed at www.twocities.org.
After forty plus years of reading the Bible, I have come up with one of my favorite ways, if not the favorite way, to read the Bible.
I call it “reading the Bible fast and slow.”

I will read up to ten chapters at a pace of 1-4 minutes per chapter. If I am familiar with the section I’m reading, I go on the faster end of that range of time or about one minute per chapter. But even books of the Bible I don’t know as well are given no more than about four minutes. My recommendation for anyone with a decent familiarity of the main plot line in Scripture is to go no slower than five minutes per chapter.


Along the way I am looking for small sections that puzzle me, encourage me, or that I simply want to mull over for a bit. This is the slow part. I may memorize some of these verses, but at the very least I will chew on them for a few days, but usually no more than one week. For my fast reads of these ten chapters there will typically be no more than a half dozen things I want to consider more fully.

I am also a big notetaker, and yes, that includes writing and highlighting my Bible. Colored pencils only for highlighting not those ghastly yellow felt tips that bleed through the page! For those of you who still have resistance to writing in your Bible, let me encourage you with a reason to do so that may not have crossed your mind: you can leave a wonderful legacy to your children, spouse, or closest friends. We have two grown sons who mercifully walk with God. Both my wife and I have two study Bibles that contain the exact same notes. Each one of our sons will be able to better understand our pilgrimage as Christians by reading the notes in our Bibles.

This year I plan to read through the Bible three times. For most of my Christian life, I’ve both studied and memorized in the New American Standard Bible. I will continue to memorize in the NASB, but this year I am doing something different with my Bible reading. I plan to read three different versions of the Bible for my three fast reads through the Bible: The King James Version, The New Living Bible, and either the English Standard Version or the New Revised Version.


My first read through the Bible is in the KJV and it has already yielded new thoughts about Genesis. For example, the NASB has Genesis 6:5 this way: “Then the Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great on the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.” The KJV translates it this way: “And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.” Imagination conjures up a bit different image (no pun intended) for me. I think of sinful creativity going wild. You may disagree, but I find intent a bit weaker.
I commend this “reading fast and slow” approach to you. I’m not aware of anything quite like it. It offers both growing familiarity with the full sweep of Scripture along with the joys of chewing on what strikes you the most. It’s a biblical telescope and microscope.