In step

[RiverOL]

5 Actions of a Spirit-Led Church​

Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Galatians 5:25
When you read the end of the book of Galatians (especially chapter 6), you get a picture of what it looks like to be a Spirit-led church. Quite simply, these five actions come from the five main verbs (commands) that Paul emphasizes in Galatians 6 after the imperative to keep in step with the Spirit. Here are five actions of a Spirit-led church:

1. Restore the broken. This comes from the first verse:
Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. Galatians 6:1


What’s interesting to note is that the first command Paul gives isn’t something to earn favor with God, because remember, the gospel is that through Jesus we’ve already been made right with God. And the tendency of those who live by the flesh is to look down on those who aren’t as religious as they are. So, instead of rebuking the broken, Paul commands Christians (including us) to restore the broken. For a community that was starting to be driven by law, it was a command to show grace.

And isn’t that still needed today? Think of it this way: how crazy would it be if you were physically sick, maybe the flu, maybe something serious like cancer, but you didn’t dare go to the hospital in your community. Why? Because your hospital had a reputation for shaming and judging all the sick people coming in. If you went there you were more likely to get judged by all the well people than find healing for yourself, and you were likely to hear how all this was your fault and you just needed to work harder to make yourself well. Who would ever go to a hospital like that?

Well, when it comes to the sickness of sin, who would ever go to a church like that? But aren’t there churches like that today? Maybe that’s why we’re losing an entire generation. We need to be a Spirit-led church.
So, here’s a question to drive this first action home: Who are you healing? Paul says to restore gently those who have been caught in sin. We’re all sinners. So, who are you healing? Who are you helping put back together? Who are you helping to heal mentally, emotionally, spiritually? If we’re going to live Spirit-led lives, we need to have a specific name attached to that question: who are you healing? If you don’t have anyone, ask the Holy Spirit to send you someone you can help restore.

2. Carry someone’s burden. This comes from verse two:
Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2


Restoring the broken is the idea that you can help put all the pieces back together, but sometimes that isn’t possible. Most times when the divorce is final it’s final, and you’re not putting it back together. If you care for a loved one with a long-term illness or disability, you know this is how it’s going to be this side of heaven. If you’ve lost a loved one, you know you’re not going to see them again this side of heaven.

If we’re living by the flesh, then we’re only going to care about ourselves. We’re going to treat our religious lives like trying to get that one flat screen on sale at Walmart or Best Buy the day after Thanksgiving. We don’t care about other shoppers waiting to get deals. In fact, they’re the competition. We will elbow, run around, run over whomever we need to get what we want. Some people treat religion like that. If we’re living by the Spirit, we don’t just care about ourselves. We carry each other’s burdens, because that’s what Jesus did for us.

So here’s a penetrating question to drive this home: Whose burdens are you bearing? If you are led by the Spirit, the Spirit will always lead you to one of His hurting children who needs your help. If you’re not helping anyone, then you’re probably not living by the Spirit.

3. Check your heart. This comes from verses 3-4:
If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. Each one should test their own actions. Galatians 6:3-4


This action by Paul is somewhat vague and depending on which scholar you read you might get a different interpretation. But here’s where I land. The word “actions” that we’re supposed to test is used seven other times in this letter. In all other seven instances, it’s translated as “works,” but more specifically, the “works of the Law.” He’s referencing the main argument of the letter, that we’re not supposed to try and earn our salvation or earn God’s favor by our actions, but by faith in Jesus.

So, when Paul says “test your actions,” I read that as “check your heart.” As we’re restoring the broken and bearing each other’s burdens, we need to check our hearts, because our motivations matter to God. If we’re doing these things to try and show off, then God sees our hearts and we need some work. That’s living by the flesh. If we’re led by the Spirit, we won’t restore the broken or carry someone’s burdens for the applause of others, we’ll do it out of genuine compassion, the compassion given by the Holy Spirit himself.

How do you test your actions? Go right back to Galatians 5. Look at the fruit of your life: is your life more accurately characterized by the works of the flesh or the fruit of the Spirit? By the way, this is something we all have to do constantly. We never outgrow our need to check our hearts. In fact, the longer we follow Jesus and the more comfortable we are around Christianity, the more susceptible we are to start doing this whole thing out of our own power rather than God’s. So, here’s a driving question for you, one that only you can answer: Are you living by the flesh or living by the Spirit?

4. Live generously. This comes from verse six:
The one who receives instruction in the word should share all good things with their instructor. Galatians 6:6


Personally I’m thankful for this verse, and even more so my family, because this is why I get paid by my church. But the underlying issue here is generosity. If you’re living by the flesh, your natural tendency will be to hoard your resources and live selfishly. You’ll naturally assume that all the money you make is for you and you alone and your happiness and comfort, and you won’t be generous with anything God has generously given you.

If you’re led by the Spirit, you’ll live a life of generosity, modeling the life of Jesus who so generously gave his life for you. Now, living generously happens in a number of different ways: we are generous with our time, we are generous with our talents, but we’re also generous with our treasure. And it’s not a multiple choice option, but all of the above.
So, here’s a driving question for this command of Paul: How are you funding the mission?


5. Make a difference. This comes from verse ten:
Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. Galatians 6:10


Do good. Make a difference. If you’re living by the flesh, you’re content to make a point. You can say all the right things, nothing ever changes, and you’re okay with that. If a church is Spirit-led, it’s a church that actually makes a difference. It’s a church that actually sees people come to Jesus, get baptized, it’s a church that’s growing and thriving and seeing lives changed.

So, here’s a question for you with that: How are you making a difference? That’s the tale of two churches, the difference between a church that is living by the flesh vs a church that is led by the Spirit.

 

[RiverOL]

Why Prioritizing Is Harder Than It Sounds​

For most of my adult life, one of the most repeated suggestions I receive when I run into a problem is that I need to do a better job prioritizing. To be honest, when people talk about priorities being “out of whack”, I’m often not even sure what they mean.

The idea is nice. It sounds simple enough. You are just focusing on the right things, right? But the fact this “problem” seems so simple yet is repeated so often suggests it is not as easy as it sounds to prioritize. What really is most important? How do I make time for those things? Although most advice you’ve gotten suggests this is straightforward and something you need to “just do”, my experience has revealed that prioritizing is harder than it seems.

Unequal Weights​

Here is the biggest problem: when you are considering priorities, not everything is weighed on the same scale.
Here is what I mean, using an example from my life: let’s say I have not engaged with a task I really love doing for over a week, like working on a novel. And I have been swamped with work (which, for me, is writing blogs and devotionals and a non-fiction book). If I am feeling tired or stressed and want to evaluate my priorities, I am going to have a bend toward the thing I am doing less often. It may or may not be the actual priority, but it is much more likely to feel like a priority because of its rarity.

Is traveling or staying home a priority? It depends on which you are doing more frequently. Is time with kids a priority? Of course, but if you have been spending no time with them you’ll feel the weight of it more than if you have been spending adequate or abundant time with them recently. And that will affect the way you view your priorities.



My point is that our list of priorities is (and should be) a fluid shift, at least in some sense. Sometimes I need to prioritize rest and sometimes I need to prioritize bearing down and getting a project done. When we talk about priorities, we act as though there is a hierarchy list of things that are important to us. And why that may be true in a sense, in the context of trying to manage our time it is not always helpful to think of it that way. We have to acknowledge the different weights, the way time messes with our perspective, and the reality that everything we do is important.

Priorities and Values​

Too often, we mistake the concept of priorities with the concept of values. A priority is what needs immediate attention. A value is what matters most and what motivates you most effectively. Values are transcendent but priorities are circumstantial.

What we really need is to better understand our values. We need to have the self-awareness to discover our motivations behind all we do. A lot of our stress and worry and confusion is not because we are focusing on the wrong arena of our lives, but because we are not cognoscente of how our values permeate, motivate, and inspire us.

When we understand our values, we will be better able to appreciate and communicate how what we are doing fits into the transcendent meaning of our existence. We will be able to “prioritize” tasks by understanding their importance in context.

 

[Singapore Dancing Spirit]

5 Actions of a Spirit-Led Church​

Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Galatians 5:25
When you read the end of the book of Galatians (especially chapter 6), you get a picture of what it looks like to be a Spirit-led church. Quite simply, these five actions come from the five main verbs (commands) that Paul emphasizes in Galatians 6 after the imperative to keep in step with the Spirit. Here are five actions of a Spirit-led church:

1. Restore the broken. This comes from the first verse:
Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. Galatians 6:1


What’s interesting to note is that the first command Paul gives isn’t something to earn favor with God, because remember, the gospel is that through Jesus we’ve already been made right with God. And the tendency of those who live by the flesh is to look down on those who aren’t as religious as they are. So, instead of rebuking the broken, Paul commands Christians (including us) to restore the broken. For a community that was starting to be driven by law, it was a command to show grace.

And isn’t that still needed today? Think of it this way: how crazy would it be if you were physically sick, maybe the flu, maybe something serious like cancer, but you didn’t dare go to the hospital in your community. Why? Because your hospital had a reputation for shaming and judging all the sick people coming in. If you went there you were more likely to get judged by all the well people than find healing for yourself, and you were likely to hear how all this was your fault and you just needed to work harder to make yourself well. Who would ever go to a hospital like that?

Well, when it comes to the sickness of sin, who would ever go to a church like that? But aren’t there churches like that today? Maybe that’s why we’re losing an entire generation. We need to be a Spirit-led church.
So, here’s a question to drive this first action home: Who are you healing? Paul says to restore gently those who have been caught in sin. We’re all sinners. So, who are you healing? Who are you helping put back together? Who are you helping to heal mentally, emotionally, spiritually? If we’re going to live Spirit-led lives, we need to have a specific name attached to that question: who are you healing? If you don’t have anyone, ask the Holy Spirit to send you someone you can help restore.

2. Carry someone’s burden. This comes from verse two:
Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2


Restoring the broken is the idea that you can help put all the pieces back together, but sometimes that isn’t possible. Most times when the divorce is final it’s final, and you’re not putting it back together. If you care for a loved one with a long-term illness or disability, you know this is how it’s going to be this side of heaven. If you’ve lost a loved one, you know you’re not going to see them again this side of heaven.

If we’re living by the flesh, then we’re only going to care about ourselves. We’re going to treat our religious lives like trying to get that one flat screen on sale at Walmart or Best Buy the day after Thanksgiving. We don’t care about other shoppers waiting to get deals. In fact, they’re the competition. We will elbow, run around, run over whomever we need to get what we want. Some people treat religion like that. If we’re living by the Spirit, we don’t just care about ourselves. We carry each other’s burdens, because that’s what Jesus did for us.

So here’s a penetrating question to drive this home: Whose burdens are you bearing? If you are led by the Spirit, the Spirit will always lead you to one of His hurting children who needs your help. If you’re not helping anyone, then you’re probably not living by the Spirit.

3. Check your heart. This comes from verses 3-4:
If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. Each one should test their own actions. Galatians 6:3-4


This action by Paul is somewhat vague and depending on which scholar you read you might get a different interpretation. But here’s where I land. The word “actions” that we’re supposed to test is used seven other times in this letter. In all other seven instances, it’s translated as “works,” but more specifically, the “works of the Law.” He’s referencing the main argument of the letter, that we’re not supposed to try and earn our salvation or earn God’s favor by our actions, but by faith in Jesus.

So, when Paul says “test your actions,” I read that as “check your heart.” As we’re restoring the broken and bearing each other’s burdens, we need to check our hearts, because our motivations matter to God. If we’re doing these things to try and show off, then God sees our hearts and we need some work. That’s living by the flesh. If we’re led by the Spirit, we won’t restore the broken or carry someone’s burdens for the applause of others, we’ll do it out of genuine compassion, the compassion given by the Holy Spirit himself.

How do you test your actions? Go right back to Galatians 5. Look at the fruit of your life: is your life more accurately characterized by the works of the flesh or the fruit of the Spirit? By the way, this is something we all have to do constantly. We never outgrow our need to check our hearts. In fact, the longer we follow Jesus and the more comfortable we are around Christianity, the more susceptible we are to start doing this whole thing out of our own power rather than God’s. So, here’s a driving question for you, one that only you can answer: Are you living by the flesh or living by the Spirit?

4. Live generously. This comes from verse six:
The one who receives instruction in the word should share all good things with their instructor. Galatians 6:6


Personally I’m thankful for this verse, and even more so my family, because this is why I get paid by my church. But the underlying issue here is generosity. If you’re living by the flesh, your natural tendency will be to hoard your resources and live selfishly. You’ll naturally assume that all the money you make is for you and you alone and your happiness and comfort, and you won’t be generous with anything God has generously given you.

If you’re led by the Spirit, you’ll live a life of generosity, modeling the life of Jesus who so generously gave his life for you. Now, living generously happens in a number of different ways: we are generous with our time, we are generous with our talents, but we’re also generous with our treasure. And it’s not a multiple choice option, but all of the above.
So, here’s a driving question for this command of Paul: How are you funding the mission?


5. Make a difference. This comes from verse ten:
Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. Galatians 6:10


Do good. Make a difference. If you’re living by the flesh, you’re content to make a point. You can say all the right things, nothing ever changes, and you’re okay with that. If a church is Spirit-led, it’s a church that actually makes a difference. It’s a church that actually sees people come to Jesus, get baptized, it’s a church that’s growing and thriving and seeing lives changed.

So, here’s a question for you with that: How are you making a difference? That’s the tale of two churches, the difference between a church that is living by the flesh vs a church that is led by the Spirit.

Serious ERROR in this post.

Generosity Paul writes here is all about charity work. Helping the poor.

But Bible discourages Giving money and taking money in the name of GOD for any mission in Bible is forbidden
If you think otherwise, please quote one reference to support your claim,

 

[Singapore Dancing Spirit]

Anyone taking bribes, tithes, or offerings in the name of God or religion is NOT really serving GOD but mammon (riches of the world). Such pastors are inherently serving Satan. Any Pastor taking any salary from a church is forbidden. If he continues to do so it is OK, as the end is nigh as I am foreseeing a judgement of Gon all preachers who takes the bribes for paying or preaching...

No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one and love the other; or else he will hold to the one and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon (Mt. 6:24)

✿ Jesus is stating an ‘utter 'impossibility. (Ref. Lk. 14:26). One must prefer God or love Him more than all else to be saved (Mt. 22:37). "God first" is the motto of the Bible.

❶ To hate here is an idiom of preference. If men prefer sin and Satan to God, then they are of the devil (1Jn. 3:8) and will be sent to hell with him (Mt. 25:41).
❷ Ye cannot serve God and mammon. The second time this impossibility is stated in this verse. And mammon means Riches of the world (cf. Lk. 16:11).

Mammon is riches, as it is contrasted in Lk. 16:11 with true riches. It is called here unrighteous riches (Lk. 16:9,11) because they deceive and lead to false security damning the soul if they are permitted to rob one of eternal life (1Tim. 6:9-10,17 Lk. 12:15-21).

 

[Patriot]

Serious ERROR in this post.

Generosity Paul writes here is all about charity work. Helping the poor.

But Bible discourages Giving money and taking money in the name of GOD for any mission in Bible is forbidden
If you think otherwise, please quote one reference to support your claim,

Should pastors be paid a salary?​

ANSWER

A church should definitely provide for the financial needs of its pastor(s) and any other full-time ministers. First Corinthians 9:14 gives the church clear instruction: “The Lord has commanded that those who preach the gospel should receive their living from the gospel.” We pay people to prepare and serve our physical food; shouldn’t we also be willing to pay those who see to our spiritual food? And, honestly, which is more important—physical food or spiritual food—based on Matthew 4:4?

First Timothy 5:17–18 says, “The elders who direct the affairs of the church well are worthy of double honor, especially those whose work is preaching and teaching. For the Scripture says, ‘Do not muzzle the ox while it is treading out the grain,’ and ‘The worker deserves his wages.’” There are several points made in this passage. Church elders should be honored, and this honor includes wages. Those elders who serve the church well—especially teachers and preachers—should receive double honor. They have earned it. It would be cruel to work an ox while denying it grain, and we should take care not to treat our pastors cruelly. Let them share in the material blessings of the congregation they serve. Our pastors are worth more than many oxen.

There is nothing spiritual about making a pastor “suffer for the Lord.” Yes, a pastor has been divinely called to his ministry, but it does not follow that a congregation should say, “Let God take care of him.” God says the local church is responsible to take care of him and his family. Caring for the spiritual needs of a congregation is an important work—probably more important than other things we normally spend money on, such as meeting our physical needs, maintaining our vehicles, and entertaining ourselves. See 1 Corinthians 9:7.

It is true that the apostle Paul supported himself as he ministered in Corinth (1 Corinthians 9:12). He drew no salary from the Corinthians. But he made it clear that he did this as a voluntary sacrifice on their behalf, “that in preaching the gospel I may offer it free of charge, and so not make full use of my rights as a preacher of the gospel” (verse 18). Paul did take wages from other churches (2 Corinthians 11:8). His arrangement in Corinth was the exception, not the rule.

Sometimes a church is just not able to provide sufficient finances for a pastor. The pastor in such cases is forced to be bi-vocational, having no choice but to work outside the church to support his family. This is regrettable but sometimes necessary. It is usually better for a pastor to be paid full-time so he can fully dedicate himself to the Lord’s work of ministering to and shepherding the congregation God has entrusted to him.

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

Pastoral Ministry by John MacArthur

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1 Corinthians 9:14
English Standard Version ​

14 In the same way, the Lord commanded that those who proclaim the gospel should get their living by the gospel.

 

[RiverOL]

5 excuses unhappy couples make​

When we’re committed to something, we make a way. When we’re not, we make an excuse.
My wife, Ashley, and I have connected with couples from all over the world, and one alarming trend we’ve discovered is that there seems to be an “Epidemic of Excuses” in modern marriages. What I mean by that is many couples seem to be caught in a trap of justifying an unhealthy marriage or even a choice to divorce by making excuses instead of working together to make a better marriage.
Below are some of the most common and destructive “excuses” out there. If you find yourself using these, I encourage you to take a step back and reevaluate. This post isn’t meant to minimize the very real challenges you may be facing; it’s meant to give you hope by changing your perspective. Changing your perspective is the first step in changing your marriage.



Photo courtesy of Shutterstock.com
This is not a comprehensive list, but these are among the most common marriage-damaging excuses:
1. My spouse doesn’t make me happy anymore.
One of the biggest dangers with romance novels and pornography (as well as much of our mainstream entertainment) is that it warps our minds into thinking other people (even our own spouses) exist for our our happiness and pleasure. This is a distorted and destructive view. It’s selfish, and selfishness is the enemy of love. It’s not your spouse’s responsibility to “make you happy.”
2. The kids have to come first.
It’s true that we should be willing to jump in front of a moving bus to protect our children, but I’ve heard way to many people use this excuse to justify an unhealthy marriage while trying to look like a selfless martyr for their kids. If you really want to protect your kids, then love your spouse! Give your children the security that comes from seeing their parents in a loving, committed relationship with each other! You’re teaching your kids what marriage should look like, and chances are good that they’ll grow up to repeat the kind of marriage (or divorce) you model for them.


3. We’d be better off apart.
On the surface, this seems like a selfless admission that the best thing for everyone would be to part ways. It’s almost never the truth. It’s usually an excuse to take a quick exit from your marriage instead of dealing with your issues and then taking those same issues into a new relationship and repeating the same dysfunctional cycle with someone else.
4. My spouse isn’t doing their share.
It can be incredibly frustrating when one spouse is consistently working harder than the other, but you need to give your very best even when your spouse isn’t doing the same. This is a very tough truth, but your level of commitment cannot be conditional upon your spouse’s level of commitment. Marriage is not 50-50; divorce is 50-50. Marriage has to be 100-100. It’s not dividing everything in half, but giving everything you’ve got. Your spouse is more likely to respond positively to your selfless example of excellence than to nagging, coercing or complaining.
5. I’ve got nothing left to give.
I know many people are in exhausting and frustrating places where there seems to be no hope, but I’ve seen too many marriage miracles to believe in the word “hopeless.” Don’t give up! Invest in each other. The resources below can help you get started. Remember that a “perfect marriage” is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

 

[RiverOL]

No Single Molecule, or Virus, is Outside the Orbit of God’s Sovereign Control​

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One of the fundamental truths of the Scriptures is the reality that God is utterly sovereign in all things. Not only has God made everything for its own purpose, including the wicked for the day of evil (Pro. 16:4), but He has done so for His own glory (Rom. 9:16-24). There is no single molecule, or virus, outside of the orbit of God’s control. This logically means that all things which were, are, and will be, are totally governed by God.

Not a single thing has happened, is happening, or will happen, outside of God’s sovereign control. What’s more than this is that all things are being worked out according to His purposes, meaning that He is very much active in and through all things. This means that even in the midst of any and every disaster, whether natural or man-made, it is not only under the sovereign control of God, but actively brought about by Him for His purposes.


Many wrestle with the implications of this, as they cannot wrap their heads around the notion that God is not de facto evil if He has orchestrated every event in the history of mankind. However, I would argue that fundamentally, the complete sovereign action and initiation of the Triune Lord is the only sufficient answer when it comes to tragedy. The simple reason for this is that an utterly sovereign Lord is the only One who is not impotent in the face of adversity.

He is not blindsided by tragedy. He is not surprised when disease and sickness runs rampant in the land. He is not shocked by the wicked intentions and actions of men. Furthermore, He is not even languishing as those in positions of power and influence abuse their power and influence. He is not a reactive God, scrambling to action only when disaster strikes. There is not a single thing in all of time and space that slips by His gaze unnoticed or even uncaused, namely, because He has ordained whatsoever comes to pass.


How then do we understand the problem of evil when it comes to this, particularly with the Lord Himself? Quite simply, actually. God is good. It is intrinsic to His nature to be good. He is the very fountainhead of goodness, therefore, anything that comes from Him is de facto good, in fact, it is very good. What that means is that when God handles anything, even things which are not good by their nature, they become good by extension of His own qualities and actions upon them. This is particularly why the same exact action can be described as both evil and good; it is evil from the hands of the finite creature who commits it, yet it is fundamentally good from the hands of the infinite God who works all things according to the counsel of His will.

This theme is brought up routinely within the Scriptures, so much so, in fact, that the only way to get around it is to simply redefine the terms, shift things to blind circumstance and thus remove their purpose, or dismiss the notion out of hand by making God out to be some sort of Divine Superintendent. In reality, this is often little more than Open-Theism, at least if its logical implications are teased out to where they lead. Yet if suffering has a purpose and it is in fact a God-ordained one, that necessarily means that such suffering is actually for our good and His glory.


I have a hunch, and I’ll admit that it is pure speculation on my part, that most reject the Doctrines of Grace on account of the implications of what that means for personal suffering and autonomy. In other words, I tend to believe that many will not accept that God is not passive when it comes to the human will simply because that then means God is active in causing their hardships.

One of the reasons I believe this is so, is due to the fact that we have an extremely myopic understanding of the Christian life, one which does not readily accept that we must suffer in order to inherit eternal life (James. 1:12). Instead, we build exceptions to this general rule because it rubs us the wrong way that God ordains our sufferings. These exceptions are simply measures to escape the hard truth that God appoints our sufferings, and furthermore, that He has declared them very good. What that indicates is that we are not a people who are willing to call hardship a blessing from the Lord.

Why do I bring suffering to the discussion on God’s sovereignty? Again, I firmly believe that God’s complete control over human suffering is the only sufficient answer to the problem of evil in our world. It is the only thing that provides a true balm to the soul in the midst of hardship. God is not only above evil and unaffected by it, but actively in sovereign control of it, working it, handling it, shaping us by it—all for the purpose of working all things for good for the one who loves Him and was called according to His purposes (Rom. 8:28).

It is not the product of universal laws of chaos, nor is it attributed to Satan, but in fact is a means for grace to abound with the result of abundant thanksgiving to God (2 Cor. 4:15). While the adversary may have a direct role in afflicting us, the reality is that as with Job, God is directing Satan’s gaze upon His servants (Job 1:8). Yet just as God has directed the evildoer’s eyes to consider His servants to do them harm, God causes it to bring about His intended result (Gen. 50:20). It is not merely that He uses such things as a result of what some other agent has decided, but that He actively works out all things according to the counsel of His will (Eph. 1:11).


The question is not so much if the Lord is the One who brings suffering upon His people. That God appoints suffering is an incontrovertible teaching of Scripture—one which is not a theme for controversy, but worship. Thus, the question is not if the Lord appoints suffering, but if we believe that He truly does work all things for good for those who love Him. If indeed God’s Word stands true, that He does work all things for good, shall we not accept both good and evil days as from the Lord (Job 2:10; Ecc. 7:14)?

If all our days are written in His book and ordained before one came to be—shall we not accept both cursing and blessing, knowing that out of the mouth of the Most-High, both evil and good proceed (Lam. 3:38)? If these things work to our blessing, shall we not praise the One whose hand directed it our way (1 Pet. 3:14), rather than curse God and die, as the bitter wife of Job suggested (Job 2:9)? Shall we not embrace the furnace of affliction so that the pure metal of our faith is revealed (1 Pet. 1:7)?

God’s complete sovereignty over all things indicates that He is a God who is a proactive God. He is not reactionary, but is very much involved in the details of all that comes to pass so that His ultimate purposes will be realized. God’s handling of evil for our good indicates that evil does not have the final word. In fact, it teaches that evil has no word except that which the Lord has given it, for in its utterance, it cannot go forth without it being for our blessing.

In some grand mystery, by virtue of His being and action upon it, God takes that which is evil and makes it good. God has always maintained a knowledge of both good and evil without being subject to fall as man, which provides man with the ultimate hope that evil is no true conqueror. It may for a season beset us with many hardships and struggles, yet it ultimately must and will work to our good and to His glory because God has ordained that it be so.


This is perhaps most clearly seen in the evil brought upon our Savior for our ultimate good. God not only brought excruciating pain and death upon His Son, but His life was one of many sorrows and He was well-acquainted with grief (Is. 53:3). He was despised, forsaken, and rejected of men. He had nowhere to lay His head (Lk. 9:58). His own disciples fled from His presence as one betrayed him with a kiss (Matt. 26:47-56). He endured a criminal’s death upon the cross, dying innocently in the place of those who deserved to be hung on the cross instead of Him.

It was through these heinous acts and more that He who knew no sin then became sin for us so that we might become the righteousness of God (2 Cor. 5:21). In other words, it was through His suffering that the child of God could be counted righteous in the Father’s sight. Our sin was reckoned to Him, yet His righteousness was reckoned to us, on the basis of His pleasing sacrifice to end all sacrifices (Heb. 10:1-18).

Yet all such things were prophesied of the Christ who was to come and set right the curse of sin through His sufferings (Acts 3:18). Though the hands of lawless men nailed Him to the tree, He was only delivered up by God’s set plan and foreknowledge (Acts 2:23). He was known before the foundations of the world in this capacity, and revealed to us in time for our sake (1 Pet. 1:20). What this invariably means is that the sacrifice of Christ was never merely a “Plan B” or a reaction to the Original Sin of our federal head, Adam.

Instead, it was God’s plan from before the foundations of the world, which is simply another means of saying it was His intent from eternity past. It was always His plan to sacrifice His Own Son for the redemption of many. But why? Again, for the grace given to more and more people, which rebounds in praise of thanksgiving to God (2 Cor. 4:15). In other words, God’s purposes in ordaining all that should come to be, is for the express purpose of Him receiving the full honor, praise, and glory that He is due as it culminates in the finished work of Christ (Eph. 1:11-12).


To put it even more clearly: God alone gets all the glory. In everything. He has so fashioned the world so that in all things that were, are, and will be rebound to glorify Him in an increasingly larger measure. What this reveals to us is that God is passionate about His own glory, so much so that all things are said to rebound to the glory of God (Rom. 11:36). When we consider this, the complete sovereignty of God is perhaps most simply expressed in the reality that God does all things for His Own Name’s sake. He will not let Himself be defamed, nor yield His glory to another (Is. 48:11). Nothing in created order shall out-glorify our God—even that which is considered evil of men is fashioned and then directed by God for our good and for His glory.

Thus, the natural conclusion is not for the lowly lump of clay to find fault with His will, nor to talk back to Him when He works in a way that betrays our sensibilities. It is so that the earth will be filled with a knowledge of His glory, as the waters cover the sea (Hab. 2:14). When faced with the complete sovereignty of God, if your default reaction is one where you find fault instead of rebound in praise and glory, you have not yet been captivated by the fact that all things were designed by God to bring Him glory.

“O, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable His judgments, and untraceable His ways! Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been His counselor? Who has first given to God, that God should repay him?” For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever! Amen” (Rom. 11:33-36).

 

[RiverOL]

Studying and Preaching the Book of Joshua​

Lissa M. Wray Beal.
Joshua.
The Story of God Bible Commentary.
Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2019.
Available through Zondervan.
Reviewed by Andrew Judd.
Lissa Wray Beal’s commentary on the book of Joshua is a superb and timely addition to Zondervan’s The Story of God Bible Commentary series. It will equip and embolden, I am sure, more preachers to tackle this important and often neglected part of God’s word in the pulpit.


The Story of God Bible Commentary is a promising new series from Zondervan. The Old Testament side of things looks very exciting, with general editor Tremper Longman III and associated editors George Athas, Mark J. Boda and Myrto Theocharous brought together under the watchful supervision of Zondervan’s Katya Covrett. The series kicked off with Genesis by Tremper Longman III, and has been followed to date by Daniel (Wendy L Widder), 1-2 Samuel (Paul Evans), and Proverbs (Ryan O’Dowd). Ruth & Esther (Marion Taylor), and Ecclesiastes & Song of Songs (George Athas) are on their way soon and I can’t wait.

Video Study resources are appearing for many of the books. The full list of 22 Old Testament volumes to be released over the next decade includes 9 by top notch female scholars.
The commentary (like the other books in the series) is not intended to be an academic reference work, but nor is it a pure devotional work. It is a tool for serious Bible study intended for people who want to know where Joshua “stands within the story of God, the Scriptures that stretch from Genesis to Revelation” (Introduction, p 20). It is based on the text of the NIV 2011 and mercifully spares us much text- and source-critical noise by taking a canonical approach to the text. That said, Wray Beal has done a masterful job of judiciously guiding the reader through the key historical, textual and scholarly issues that come up along the way.


The Introduction is a tidy 30 pages of gold. We hear just the right amount about 1) the authorship, audience and date, 2) textual issues, canonicity and title, 3) genre and relationship to history, 4) structure, 5) historical setting, and 6) theological themes. A selective list of more academic treatments follows for those wanting a deep dive.
Wray Beal’s presuppositions are classically Christian and generously evangelical, without straying into defensive or naïve confessionalism. She is not shy to address problems dating the conquest, Ancient Near Eastern war report genres and the different models of Israel’s arrival in the land. Take this elegant executive summary of the latter:

“While none of the models fully accounts for the evidences of text, epigraphy, and archaeology, each model sheds light on some aspect of the historical reality. Israel’s emergence in the land did include warfare and conquest; indigenous peoples did join with Israel; cities and royal power were targeted by Israel; and Israel’s possession of the land was indeed gradually realized over many years.” (p 34)

In those two sentences, Wray Beal has probably saved someone about half a day of reading. (By my calculations, if 60,000 people read even just these two sentences she effectively will have saved a life.) She also deals well with the problem of violence in Joshua, arguing that with a proper understanding of key biblical and extra-biblical contexts the herem texts cannot be interpreted as comparable to modern notions of genocide. She then looks to the New Testament for the final context of these texts, arguing against their applicability to armed conflict today without conceding to an extreme non-violence reading of the New Testament. This is hard terrain expertly navigated (although personally I would have liked to see more development of the issues and themes within the Old Testament before jumping into their New Testament fulfilment.)


The actual commentary on the text of Joshua is broken into three sections. First, Listen to the Story begins with the NIV of the passage, broken into 21 sensibly divided teaching units. The text is followed by some cross references to other biblical texts as well as ANE parallels: the victories of Joshua 10, to pick an example at random, are followed by references to a handful of passages including Exodus 14, and an illuminating selection of other documents like Ten Year Annals of Great King Muršili II of Hatti. After that we get a nice selection of context pieces that might be helpful in reading the text: for Joshua 10 that means an unpacking of the biblical theme of the Divine Warrior, an explanation of who the kings of the Amorites are, and some important ANE parallels for the description of divine battle intervention.

Second, Explain the Story gives a more standard commentary on the text — not verse by verse, but divided (in Joshua 10’s case) into 5 subsections of the narrative. This chapter also includes helpful table comparing the building blocks of the accounts of each city’s taking. Significantly, this section integrates broader biblical theological reflection into the explanation, so the textual details and ANE parallels all build up to showing the theological point: Israel’s successes show that God fights on its behalf. This integration of exegesis with theological reflection is part of the unique strength of this series: textual details are never discussed in a vacuum.


The third section, Live the Story, takes that theological reflection and draws out, in the case of Joshua 10, how the dual themes of kingship and victory over enemies go on to be developed in Psalms 2 and 110, and then finally get applied to the lordship of Christ in the New Testament (especially Acts 4). There is also some discussion of God’s supernatural involvement in spiritual warfare.

What I like about Wray Beal’s commentary, and indeed about the concept for this series as a whole, is its explicit commitment to wrestling with the Old Testament texts in their canonical context as Christian scripture — while at the same time not losing sight of what makes Joshua a unique piece of the broader picture. This commentary will serve preachers as a guide into the text, perhaps in conjunction with one other more technical commentary. Individual readers and small group leaders will also benefit greatly from the context it provides and the encouragement to read, understand and apply challenging texts in a thoughtful, Christian way.

 

[RiverOL]

I Fear for You if You’re Not Growing an Insatiable Hunger to Return to Church​

I don’t consider myself to be an emotionally-driven man, nor does anyone who knows me personally. My wife has quipped that I can have the emotional equivalency of a rock, where my mom has oft retorted with the Vulcan greeting when she’s heard my thoughts on a particularly emotionally charged matter. In one sense this has proved to be an incredible asset, as I can brush off nearly anything that would cause many others to be rightfully upset. I get over pains quickly. I can think through issues quickly rather than simply react out of impulse. I don’t get anxious over things. I am able to reconcile the truth of the Scriptures with my circumstances rather quickly as well.


Yet what could be said to be a strength is also perhaps my greatest weakness. I have had to learn how to sympathize with people who struggle with regulating their emotions. I can often appear aloof or cold-hearted when I approach issues that I have already worked out in my own head. It isn’t that people are even necessarily in disagreement with what I have to say, but rather, they often just need to take more time to process through something emotionally than I. That can be a real point of contention when you approach things purely on rationalistic grounds, especially when sometimes a simple hug and word of encouragement will do better than anything else.

I am also fully aware that emotions are a gift from God that ought not be squashed down simply because they can be deceptive and misleading. What this looks like on a practical level for me is that I can often approach my relationship with God as a theological enterprise rather than an experiential one. I believe the former is greater than the latter, we must know God rightly to relate to Him rightly—but I recognize God has not revealed Himself for the purpose of simply engaging the mental faculties. He has revealed Himself to us so that we might know and love Him. If my theological mind does not engage God alongside my devotional heart and soul, I am certainly not loving God with all my being, and thereby in disobedience to the Greatest Commandment.


I’m not what I’d call an emotional man in the least bit, but I believe I’ll cry when we are finally able to gather with the saints again in the household of the Lord. I miss my family in Christ a tremendous amount. I miss being able to shake hands with the men of the church and inquire how they’ve been doing. I’ve been trying to connect with some through the phone, but it just isn’t the same. I miss hearing the children sing loudly and out of tune, and hearing moms and dads, grandmas and grandpas, singles and marrieds alike as well. I feel the absence of partaking in the Lord’s Supper with my brothers and sisters.

Perhaps most of all, I miss sitting under the preached Word and, as my elder’s wife put it, hearing the faithful turn their pages to open up the Scriptures and follow along. Yet I also deeply regret not being able to meet with some of the men as I was on weekday mornings and our small group on Wednesday nights.
I’m not what I’d call an emotional man, but I am growing increasingly frustrated with the situation at hand. In a sense, you might call it: a foreboding incompleteness that is growing. Perhaps the pinnacle of this was on Easter Sunday.

The family climbed out of bed and got dressed for my pastor’s live-streamed study. We could type in a “hello” to the members of our church, and as great as that is, it frankly sucks. For the past two years we’ve been part of a “celebration service” with a recent church plant. We gather together to celebrate our broader body in the Midwest and have the pleasure of seeing what God is doing in the people of this plant. We see old friends, make new ones, and witness wonderful testimonies of God’s grace as newly converted Christians rise and make a proclamation of their faith in Christ. We sing many, theologically-rich songs and hear the Word exposited, and then we go on our way.


Not so for this Easter. Instead, I gathered my wife and three children to the living room where we sat on the couch and watched an exquisite and hope-filled study on the resurrection. It was truly wonderful and lifted my spirit—yet it was not the same. I sit today thinking of the study we will sit through as a family once more tomorrow, with gladness of heart for my pastors and their faithfulness to shepherd, yet with sorrow as we once again will not be in the presence of our brothers and sisters. Here I am, introvert of introverts, missing people. Yet not just people, my people. It is this that lets me know I am truly alive in Christ. If my heart did not yearn for them and for the assembly, I would have every reason to fear I am not in Christ. If my “emotional equivalency of a rock” did not dissipate during this time and I remained unchanged, even whilst separated from the body, there would be every reason to doubt the credibility of my profession.

I would argue though, as I have long believed, that one ought to feel an insatiable hunger toward the church in general, but especially during this time. The church is so much more than simply a gathering of like-minded people. The church is the place where believers can find delight in their unity and service to one another (1 Cor. 12:12-27). It is where they can gather to sit under the authority and preaching of their under-shepherds, who cause them to grow in maturity and attain to the unity of the faith and knowledge of the Son of God (Eph. 4:11-13).

It is where they can be equipped to bear one another’s burdens (Gal. 6:2), encourage one another (1 Thess. 4:13-18; 5:11), build each other up in their most holy faith (Jd. 1:20), push one another on to persevere to the end (Heb. 10:23-25), and pour out compassion (Eph. 4:32), forgiveness (Col. 3:13), love (Jn. 13:34; 1 Jn. 4:7), and brotherly devotion (Rom. 12:10). Most of all though, it is where this body of people can come together in service to their King, Jesus Christ, who redeemed them from the curse of sin and brought them into newness of life. In other words, we come together not simply to serve one another, but to praise our beloved King for His great mercy.


The genetic makeup of any genuine church is an assembly of people from all walks of life. Some of these people you might naturally be friends with outside of the church’s walls—yet many you share nothing in common with but the atoning blood of your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Yet this bond supersedes any other relationship that this earth has to offer. The unity Christians share in Christ is greater than the love between spouses, family members, or even the best of friends. That means the weakest relationship you hold with someone in Christ is better than the best relationship you hold with someone outside of Christ.

In other words, you have a greater bond through the blood of Jesus with the believer you don’t get along with, than your best friend that you get along with famously, who isn’t a Christian at all. The reason for this is simple: we have a blood-bought unity. Nothing compares to this. There is nothing stronger than it. When everything is said and done and the earth is consumed in the fires of judgment, this bond will remain.

If you’re not missing the assembling of your fellow believers by this point, not only am I genuinely concerned for your soul, but I wonder what your previous experience of church was like to begin with. I wonder, as would the apostle John, if you have any genuine love for Christ. If you claim Christ and nothing has changed for you since shelter in place measures have been implemented for COVID-19; if no twinge of sadness, anger, frustration, discouragement, or simply a sense of incompleteness, has come over you in any way, then you ought to be incredibly concerned over the state of your soul.

You ought to be growing an insatiable hunger to return to the house of the Lord and worship with the brethren again. You should be incredibly discontent with the way things are. There should be a despair in your heart in not being able to go to church.
If these things are not true of you, it is time to consider one of two things may be true of you:

1. You have not yet trusted in Christ for the forgiveness of sin, because you do not show a love of the brethren. Genuine love of the brethren manifests itself through sorely missing them when you are not able to be in their presence. Just as a wife misses her children when they are gone overnight, so too does the Christian miss their brothers and sisters when they are not in sight.
2. No genuine Christian can flourish on their own, nor remain on their own, as they were saved unto a body. If you feel no pain of separation, it is highly probable you were never joined to the body to begin with.
3. You have forgotten your first love and made something an idol in place of your Savior, whether it be safety, comfort, or fear of death. A genuine love of the brethren will manifest itself through a sense of incompleteness when the Christian is apart from the body. No eye can be content without the head; no toe without the foot. No part of the body can function properly or feel anything but a sense of disjointedness when they are removed from the rest of the body. The church was designed to fit together in harmony for mutual edification. If you feel no sense of incompleteness, or perhaps you sense it, but it is not strong in you, it is highly probable you desire to be joined to something of lesser significance than the body of Christ.
   

As a final word, I want to make one thing a bit clearer: this applies to your local church that you have covenanted with, or simply been attending. I write none of this with generalities or platitudes in mind. The Scriptures presuppose that we will be connected with a local manifestation of the body rather than just “the body” more generally speaking. What that then means is that if you are “tuning-in” to another church’s service rather than your own, this also ought to be something that causes you to pause in reflection and take stock. The point I’m driving to is not that you can’t or shouldn’t listen to others, but simply that these men are not your pastor and their church is not your church.

No people other than your elders are accountable for your souls, at least not to the same degree. People will invariably be accountable to some degree on the basis of their words, no doubt, yet they are not the ones whom God has primarily charged to shepherd you (Heb. 13:17). God calls you to obedience and submission to your local church’s elders. Not John MacArthur. Not John Piper.

Not [insert famous pastor here]. Not some random dude on the internet with an opinion (i.e. me). Your elders. To put it another way: you are entrusting your soul to someone God has not. You have been gifted your pastor and your local church. If you’re not missing them in any sense, there is a fundamental rift in your heart here as well.

 

[RiverOL]

5 Good Things Coming Out of the Coronavirus Pandemic​

While the world is essentially shut down because of the COVID-19 pandemic, God is up to something good. Our minds naturally gravitate towards the negative news out there, but it’s not all bad. While not discounting the obvious seriousness of what we’re walking through as a society, it’s important to find the hidden gems within the crisis. On my Facebook Group, I asked the members to share something good God has done in their life during the coronavirus pandemic. Here are some of their responses:


1. More focus on what’s important. One Christian wrote, “I feel like I’ve been more observant, it has forced me to slow down and see things that I wouldn’t normally see or appreciate.” Another wrote, “Less distractions. More time to focus on our creator.” This pandemic is forcing us to prioritize and remember what’s truly important in life.
2. God is speaking louder. Because of the removal of distractions, Christians are able to hear God speaking to them louder than ever. One Christian wrote, “God has brought His Word out loud and clear, spoken in song and on social media. His people, the Church, have risen and are staying connected and meeting needs.”
3. Reconnecting with family. This was one of the most popular responses I received. Being forced to stay at home, people are able to reconnect with family in meaningful ways. One wrote, “Very much enjoy working at home with my lovely wife.” Another shared, “The gift of extra time and conversation with my adult children that I didn’t expect to have.” A third wrote, “Given us sweet family time.”
4. Great interactions with neighbors. A famous command by Jesus is to love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:39). But since most of us live life on the go, we don’t have much meaningful time to interact with our neighbors. These stay-at-home orders that many of us are experiencing is changing all that. One Christian shared, “love seeing all my neighbors out in the pretty spring weather playing with their kids and pets.” Another wrote, “more opportunities to encourage others and talk about my hope in the Lord.”



5. Rest in God. Whether by choice or not, people are seeing the benefits of slowing down and finding the rest that only comes in God. One Christian wrote that through this crisis, she’s been able to “rest in God and depend more on Him.” Another shared, “I got closer to Jesus.”

At the end, here is some great perspective shared by one Christian in this group, “I have lived in and visited some 2nd and even 3rd world countries, but during this time of my discomfort it has really made me take a look at my ‘1st world’ problems. While I complain about not finding toilet paper at the store or not being able to get my hair or nails done, it draws me back to what’s really important in life and how other parts of the world live differently and find joy no matter their situation!”

 

[RiverOL]

We Never Need to Fear Because the God of Life Is in Us​

WILLS POINT, TX – Dr. K.P. Yohannan, founder of Gospel for Asia (GFA World and affiliates like Gospel for Asia Canada) shares why we must never fear, whether in facing the COVID-19 virus, or 1,000 other reasons, but know we are given life eternal living God.
On March 20, 2020, four convicts were hanged at Delhi’s Tihar jail in India. More than seven years earlier, they had brutally raped and killed a 23-year-old young girl, a medical student, on a bus. You may remember it being reported all over the news in 2012.


When these men were taken out from prison to be hanged, reports were shared of their loud, uncontrollable fear and weeping. They knew they were walking out of the prison to the gallows.
Consider this contrast: Two thousand years ago, an innocent, 33 ½ year old man also knew that in a few short days, He would be crucified and killed publicly. And He faced His death with joy. It was His own choice to give His life on the cross for the sake of redeeming the world from sin, fear, death and damnation. His name was the Lord Jesus Christ. The record of this story begins in the Gospel of St. John, chapter 12. I encourage you to read it.

Today, all of humanity lives in the shadow of the fear of death. Covid-19 has caused all people throughout the whole world—regardless of wealth, color, religion or nationality—to realize their helplessness. We have no control over our future or our life on earth. All have become equal.
The one common denominator for all of humanity is the dark curtain we all must pass through called “death.”

The week before Resurrection Sunday (also called “Passion Week”) speaks of Jesus’ intentionality in going to Jerusalem, riding on a donkey and, within a few days, being put to death. He came to earth for this—that through His suffering and death on our behalf and His rising again from the grave, we as humanity need never to fear death again.

When the early church fathers talked about the end of one’s life, they called it “departing”—the event when we leave our decaying bodies to be in a better world, where we will never experience sorrow, tears or separation.
Whether it is this current COVID-19 virus, or 1,000 other unknown enemies of our temporal lives, let us not fear but know we are given life eternal by the living God, who made us not for time but for eternity.
A follower of Christ, St. Paul, said these words that we too can repeat,

“Where O death is your victory? Where O death is your sting?” (1 Corinthians 15:55)

Jesus rose from the grave. We never need to panic or fear because the God of life is in us and walks with us now and throughout eternity.
Let us not forget that the Cross of Christ and His resurrection is the epicenter of the universe and all of human history. Christ’s death and resurrection was not just the greatest event in history, but it was the transforming change to history.

 

[RiverOL]

May the Force . . . Be You​ [ 1 min read ★ ]

. . . what I want mostly is for men to pray—1 Timothy 2:8-10​

There are many forces at work in this world—forces colliding, reacting to each other, influencing one another. And you, brother, are one of them. Each of us is. The question is, though, what kind? Are we forces for goodness and generosity? I mean, is this broken, evil world better because of us? Or are we forces that are simply neutral? Or are we forces for ‘me’—for selfishness, for stockpiling, for negativity, or depravity even? These questions matter to God (Galatians 5:13-26). They should matter to us. And if we want to change our kind—or just intensify the positive force we already are—here’s a place to start: intercessory prayer. “Pray every way you know how, for everyone you know” (1 Timothy 2:1-3 MSG). God certainly wants us to use our hands to help people in need, and he wants us to use our voices to reach people who’re lost. But, since “prayer is at the bottom of all this,” wrote the Apostle Paul, what we mostly need to do is pray (1 Timothy 2:2-10 MSG). You see, intercessory prayer—praying on behalf of other people—is the most powerful thing we can do (James 5:16-18). When we do it, we lay aside our own meager strength and call upon the awesome strength of Almighty God. When we do it, we call forth the most powerful force in the universe and focus its goodness and generosity right onto other people and right into their circumstances.

Okay, so what do we do?​ Take a simple prayer walk—around your neighborhood, praying over each house; around your kids’ schools, praying over each locker; around your workplace, praying over each office and cube. Pray against pain, fear, and darkness. Pray for healing, peace, and light, all in the name of our King, Jesus Christ.

 

[RiverOL]

Three attitudes to God's will

Acts 22

"... The God of our fathers has chosen you to know his will ..." (v.14)
Another condition of continuing peace in the heart of a Christian is this -- joyful abandonment to the Father's will. There are three main attitudes to the will of God found among believers. Some resign themselves to God's will, some rebel against God's will and some rejoice in God's will.

Those who resign themselves to it are the people who, having been caught up in some trouble or difficulty, fail to see that divine love and wisdom are at work, redeeming every situation and turning it to good -- hence their hearts are filled with irritation and resentment. Eventually they get over it and by grace resign themselves to the will of God. They are not happy at what God has allowed, but they resign themselves to "putting up with the inevitable." One hears them say in half-hearted and grudging tones: "Well, I'm resigned to it now." But resignation is not a full Christian grace; beneath it lies an unconquered and unsubmissive spirit.

Others, as we said, rebel against the will of God. These are the people who don't just "put up with the inevitable" but take up arms against God and let Him know that they do not believe He is working in their best interests. Over the years I have met many Christians like this. They do not bring out the rebellion they feel toward God in their conversations with other Christians or even in their public prayers, but it is quietly suppressed and can break out at any time. Such people never enjoy the peace of God because, quite simply, they have never truly believed that divine love and wisdom can turn all things to good.

 

[RiverOL]

May the Force . . . Be You​ [ 1 min read ★ ]

. . . what I want mostly is for men to pray—1 Timothy 2:8-10​

There are many forces at work in this world—forces colliding, reacting to each other, influencing one another. And you, brother, are one of them. Each of us is. The question is, though, what kind? Are we forces for goodness and generosity? I mean, is this broken, evil world better because of us? Or are we forces that are simply neutral? Or are we forces for ‘me’—for selfishness, for stockpiling, for negativity, or depravity even? These questions matter to God (Galatians 5:13-26). They should matter to us. And if we want to change our kind—or just intensify the positive force we already are—here’s a place to start: intercessory prayer. “Pray every way you know how, for everyone you know” (1 Timothy 2:1-3 MSG). God certainly wants us to use our hands to help people in need, and he wants us to use our voices to reach people who’re lost. But, since “prayer is at the bottom of all this,” wrote the Apostle Paul, what we mostly need to do is pray (1 Timothy 2:2-10 MSG). You see, intercessory prayer—praying on behalf of other people—is the most powerful thing we can do (James 5:16-18). When we do it, we lay aside our own meager strength and call upon the awesome strength of Almighty God. When we do it, we call forth the most powerful force in the universe and focus its goodness and generosity right onto other people and right into their circumstances.

Okay, so what do we do?​ Take a simple prayer walk—around your neighborhood, praying over each house; around your kids’ schools, praying over each locker; around your workplace, praying over each office and cube. Pray against pain, fear, and darkness. Pray for healing, peace, and light, all in the name of our King, Jesus Christ.

 

[RiverOL]

3 Reasons Your Wife Won’t Tell You Exactly What She Wants​

Not long ago, someone we know got engaged via a multi-stage, elaborate proposal that had clearly taken an immense amount of thought and effort. A mutual friend, upon hearing the story, told him, “Good job. Only 9,999,999 tests left to go.” The lucky groom, of course, wondered: why do women “test” and “play games” with their men at all? He said, “She wouldn’t just tell me she wanted me to come up with something big like that. She said, ‘Whatever you want’ but I suspected that she didn’t really mean it. I wish she would have just told me. But at least I got it right this time.”


Guys, there are 3 key reasons your wife wants you to figure out what she wants, rather than just telling you. (These aren’t my opinion, but are the results of years of research and nationally representative surveys of women for For Men Only.) I know these may seem absolutely crazy, but once you realize the truth of these factors – and learn to see and respond to them – you’ve truly cracked the code. Those things that probably most confuse you about women won’t confuse you anymore.
So read closely – and if you don’t think these three reasons could possibly be true, ask your wife!

Reason #1: If you make the effort to figure it out, it means she’s worth the effort.

You know how you look confident, but on the inside you privately worry whether you measure up? Well, your wife has a different private worry: somewhere deep inside, every day, she wonders whether she is worth loving. Whether she matters. Whether she is lovable.



That question never goes away (just like you probably never get to a point that you feel as confident as you look). So each day, she’s looking for your signals as to the answer to that question. When you say “I love you” it signals that she is lovable. It reassures her that she must be worth loving, when you, this amazing man, make an effort to think through and understand why she might be upset rather than making her simply tell you. For example, it reassures her that she’s special, when you study her enough to know that she is completely frazzled and that it would mean a lot if you offered to take the kids so she can rest – without her having to tell you that.

Reason #2: If you figure it out and do something about it, it shows that you care.

You think it is the action that matters – which is why you wish she would just tell you what action she wants. Do you want me to take the kids to the park so you can rest? Do you want me to take you out to a quiet dinner for your birthday, or have a get-together with friends? While you’re upset with me right now, do you want me to apologize or leave you alone?



In the midst of those conundrums you’re probably thinking, “Just tell me what to do, and I’ll do it!” But always remember that the “doing” isn’t always the most crucial thing. What matters to her is the fact that you made the effort to figure out what matters to her. It shows she is worth that effort (see Reason #1) and – even more important – it shows that you care enough about her to make that effort for her.

Reason #3: If she has to tell you, she’ll never know whether you did it because you wanted to, or simply because she told you to.

Guys, we women don’t realize that you want to do those things that will make us happy. In other words, because of that secret “am I loveable” insecurity, we subconsciously may not believe that you want to “do” things for us because you care about us.



So when we tell you what we want you to do, and you do it, we honestly, truly don’t know whether you are doing it because you really wanted to – or just because you are putting up with us and doing it because we asked you to.

So men, here’s the bottom line: practice studying your wife. Don’t roll your eyes whenever you see what feels like a test. (As you can imagine, that makes her self-doubt worse!) Instead, use it as an opportunity to show her that she is someone who is loveable – and loved. And if you build up that certainty in her, you’ll see those tests a lot less often.

 

[RiverOL]

The only “rule” I teach my kids​

Yesterday, I forgot my keys and was temporarily locked out my own house. I had my 8-year-old son with me and he really had to use the bathroom (I’ve learned that kids always have to use the bathroom at the least convenient times). I told him to just go to a neighbor’s house, but he said it was an emergency and he would just “go in the woods.” We have a small, wooded lot between our house and our neighbor’s house, so I thought it wouldn’t be a big deal for him to go behind some trees and do his business.


Apparently, he didn’t want to to walk all the way into the woods, because when I looked over my shoulder, he was standing on the sidewalk emptying his bladder. I quickly look around to see if any of my neighbors are witnessing this redneck moment. To my dismay, there were plenty of eye witnesses. I was thankful he was too young to be arrested for indecent exposure.

Our next-door neighbors are in the process of selling their house, and their realtor was standing in their driveway with a sweet young family holding a baby and checking out the neighborhood. I think we made a less-than-stellar first impression on these potential new neighbors! I actually apologized to the homeowners who are good friends of ours and said, “Yeah, I’m pretty sure we prevented a house sale for you guys. We’ll try to make a better impression next time.”
I talked to our son afterwards and said, “Buddy, you can’t pee on the sidewalk.” (This isn’t the “one rule” stay tuned…)

To me, this potty guideline is pretty self-explanatory and not really something that needs to be debated, but in his eight-year-old brain, it seemed to make perfect sense to pee on the sidewalk, so he started debating with me. Finally, I reminded him there’s only one rule he needs to live by at this point in his life and he was failing at the one rule by continuing to argue with me about this. I reminded him that his only responsibility is to follow one single rule: OBEY WITH A GOOD ATTITUDE.


Sometimes, we make the mistake of bargaining with our kids or trying to use adult reasoning with our kids instead of reminding of the standard and their responsibility to honor it even when they don’t understand it.

As our children grow through adolescence and into adulthood, our relationship and parental authority will evolve into more of a mentoring relationship and then eventually (hopefully) into a friendship in adulthood, but when our children are young, we don’t need to overcomplicate the expectations. Of course, we should explain things to them and look for teachable moments, but the bottom line is they’re not going to understand all the reasons why they have to do something, and they don’t have to understand. All they really have to do is to obey with a good attitude.

This one rule has two vital parts: Obedience and Respect. Without both parts, we’ve missed the point of parenthood. A child can obey with a bad attitude or a child can have a positive attitude while being disobedient, but either way, they’ve missed the mark. When we teach our kids to obey with a good attitude, we’re training their young hearts to develop the right habits, so that as they grow in maturity and start reasoning through more decisions on their own, they’ll be more likely to make responsible choices in adulthood.

 

[RiverOL]

How We Pick Our Friends​

We work with an organization that sends teams out into the world. These teams usually consist of seven people who are assigned to be together. They live with one another, work, play, and travel – all together.
Part of our coaching is helping them work through the inevitable issues of living in community. And there is one refrain we hear way too often. It goes something like this: ‘These just aren’t my kind of people. I’d never be friends with them outside of this.


I’ll admit, I’ve said the same kinds of things before. But it is a bit absurd, isn’t it? We act like we held auditions to decide who was worthy of our friendship.

How It Really Happened​

The truth is, the selection of our social circle was not as up to us as we might like to think. A person born around the same time as you. A kid who lives in the same neighborhood. Parents enroll us in the same sports. We get into Sophomore Organic Chemistry at the same time. It’s all so deliciously random.

Sure, we don’t connect with everyone. But we probably could connect with a lot more than we think. All it takes is one moment. One shared comment during a school project that causes laughter. One game of tag. The connections are not as deep as we imagine. They are connections of convenience and proximity.
This is how friendship starts. In the end, we are standing behind them on their wedding day, crying at their parent’s funeral, and throwing them baby showers. But in the beginning, it was mostly awkward chance that leads us into friendship.

What We Are Looking For​

Why is this important? Because, if we accepted this process, we might find ourselves with more friends.
As it is, we find the making of friendship harder the later we get in life. Why? One reason is that adulthood frowns upon the awkward connections necessary to begin friendships.
The greater reason is that we find what we are looking for. And we are not really looking for new friends.
Our ego is looking for people to validate it. We imagine we’ll call these people ‘friends’. But what we really want is another person who thinks like me, looks like me, agrees with me. Since there is only one of me in the world, I find the foreign behavior and thoughts of others strange and sometimes annoying. I develop the same impossible standards for friendship as I do for dating.

Accept the Process​

Here is the truth of the matter: People are amazing. They are weird and hilarious and completely broken. They are fragile and desperate. We are all longing for togetherness. We all have value as members of society.


This is all that is needed for the making of a friend.
I have a good friend, Jon, who decided we would be best friends the first day we met. It kinda creeped me out for a long time. But it worked. He decided we would be friends. And over time, I decided this weirdo was also a wonderful person. I decided to be friends.

It’s all a decision, a choice. Am I willing to invest in this person? This fallible, beautiful person? Because every person has value in this world.
The people you are around are not your old friends. They are not you. They are not perfect. None of this ought to disqualify them for friendship.
We would do well to revert to our childlike approach to friendship. Whoever is in our space, whoever crosses paths with us, is worthy of acknowledgment and friendship.

By the way, when I was on the same trip that we are now coaching others on, I felt adversarial towards my team. Included was a loud redhead I had no interest in connecting with and found myself frequently annoyed by. Today, she is my wife, my best friend, and my favorite person in the whole world.
Give people a chance.

 

[RiverOL]

3 Ways Christian Parenting is Like Being a Personal Trainer​

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4
Paul instructs Christian fathers to bring their children up in the training and instruction in the Lord. The word for “bring them up” is the idea of nurturing, and it has a holistic connotation. Paul actually uses the same word in the previous chapter when he says, “no one ever hates his own body, but he feeds and cares for it.”
It’s the concept (which we should all understand as parents) of making sure that you care for the development of your child, not just feeding them and caring for their physical development, but caring for their mental, emotional and spiritual development as well. And then he mentions “training and instruction.” Those are two sides of the same coin. Training is disciplining and correcting them with action, and instruction is disciplining and correcting them with words.

Here’s an illustration that I thought of from Ephesians 6:4, and perhaps it will help you look at parenting from a new perspective: Think of parenting like being a personal trainer.
If you go to the gym and there’s a goal you have in mind: you want to get in shape, tone up, lose weight, whatever. You can figure a few things out on your own, but you have such a better shot of succeeding if you have a personal trainer. A personal trainer is there to help create a custom program for you that is crafted to your goals and they succeed when you meet your health and fitness goals.

They have the knowledge, they have the know-how, they’re right there with you, they know when to push you and when to back off. They are training and instructing you, through action and through word, so that you can meet your goal. Not that different than parenting.
So, if the goal is that when kids launch out into the world as adults, that they are walking in Christ and they are ready to make a difference for Jesus, then as a parent you are their personal trainer. Try thinking about it that way and see if it gives you a different perspective. Here are three ways Christian parenting is like being a personal trainer:
1. Don’t make your kids an idol.


I get this from the word “training.” In Hebrews 12 this word is used four times when talking about how a father disciplines the son he loves, and even though discipline isn’t any fun, it’s for their good. That’s the idea behind training. When you train your child, that means there has to be ground rules and discipline. You can’t properly discipline someone when they’re your idol.

Years ago the term many people used about parenting was “helicopter” parents, the ones who hovered around and never let the kids do anything on their own. The term I used today is “lawnmower” parents, those who mow down anything difficult so that their kid never has to struggle. As loving as that might seem, it’s not setting them up for success later on in life if they never learn how to overcome adversity because they’ve never faced adversity.

Go back to the personal trainer illustration. It would be like you walking into the gym, and the personal trainer saying, “I don’t want you to have to sweat, so I’m actually going to lift all the weights for you.” That’s useless! We have to allow our kids to struggle, we have to teach our kids how to fail well, so that they’re ready for the real world. Many people in culture are bemoaning this next generation, calling them snowflakes because they’re so fragile they can’t deal with the real world. It’s our fault. When we make our kids idols we don’t allow them to learn how to develop courage, strength, perseverance. There has to be discipline.


2. Show them how to successfully navigate this world.
I also get this from the word “training” in Ephesians 6:4. When you have a personal trainer, their job is to help you learn more about your body, to teach you how to get fit and stay fit, so that when they’re gone you can still do it on your own. A good personal trainer knows how much weight to put on the dumbbells to push you. It’s a fine art, and this is where parents (including me struggle). If you put on too much weight, they’ll tear a muscle. If you don’t put on any weights, they’ll never get stronger.

If you protect your kids in bubble wrap, they’ll never gain the strength needed to successfully navigate this world. But if there are no limits, especially when they’re younger, this world will eat them up and spit them out. This is where as parents you need to be on your knees and ask the Holy Spirit for guidance. It’s not enough to protect them from the world, because sooner or later they have to fly out of the nest. The key is to allow them to engage the world in bite-size chunks. That means that you have to have lots of conversations, with God and with your kids.

It’s like ike when my dad taught me to drive. He didn’t completely protect me until the day I got my license then set me loose on the world. Neither did he give me the car keys when I was 8 and let me practice on my own. When I was 15, we started spending evenings on a big parking lot, lots of wide open spaces, so I could gradually learn how to drive.

You’ve got to develop that same finesse when you teach your kids how to navigate this world. If you’re too protective or not protective enough, they won’t thrive outside of the nest. It’s got to be just the right amount, and that’s getting on your knees every single day and asking for God’s wisdom.
3. Shape their world with your words.


This comes from the word “instruction.” If you want to allow the world to shape their values, then just leave them alone and the world will take care of it for you. You won’t have to do a thing. But if you want to raise your child in Christ, it means that your voice needs to be the strongest voice in their ear. Pastors can help, the church can help, a youth pastor can help, but you still need to be the primary influence.

What you speak into them from a young age shapes their world. Personally, I am not a night owl. After 9 pm I turn into a pumpkin. But even though I want to sit on the couch and relax at night, I’m intentional to tuck each of my four kids in individually, we read a story, we talk about something from the Bible, and we pray together.

Tell them the stories of Scripture. Read it with them. Stories help shape their perspective of the world. Be intentional to discuss Scripture often and speak words of life with them. A good personal trainer is right there next to you, encouraging you when you’re starting to get tired. Your personal trainer’s words will push you to go farther than you could go yourself. A personal trainer is absolutely useless if he’s over in the corner on his phone while you’re on the benchpress about to collapse. So, parents, get off your phones and shape your kids’ world with words of life.

 

[RiverOL]

What If You Didn’t Have To Be Perfect?​

I was working through a Biblical commentary on Genesis this week for a work project and came across the word “blameless” in the Hebrew Scripture. God tells Abraham to follow him and “be blameless”.
The commentary stated that the Hebrew word for “blameless” means “complete”. I’ve always thought of blamelessness as perfection, a call to get it all correct. And I guess I could see how “perfect” and “complete” could be synonyms. But what if, in this context, there were some important distinctions?



Is Perfect Complete?
As we have said in previous blogs, fulfillment (or completion) in the way we typically think about it is not possible. In fact, it is a dangerous lie to pursue the idea that everything will be comfortable and easy just around the corner.

Yet, the idea of perfection follows us around. The voices around us, as well as our internal narrative, tell us we need to be perfect. We need to be in control, to have all the answers, to figure it all out and not struggle anymore. That, we reason, is the key to winning at life.
What if is not only impossible, but wrong? Just flat out incorrect. What if our struggle, our imperfection, is a part of what makes us unique and beautiful and full of purpose?

I know this is going to sound crazy: but what if being “complete” was more about acknowledging our weakness in vulnerability than about fixing everything we don’t like or understand about ourselves? What if perfection made us even more incomplete – in the way graduating collegiates with a perfect GPA actually struggle in the workforce because they’ve never faced the character building reality of failing and have constructed a house of cards?


I very rarely refer to my wife as “perfect”. It is not because I don’t love her. It is because she has some very real faults and it feels like it actually diminishes who she is to pretend she doesn’t. Because the absolute truth is her faults are a part of what makes her perfect. When I say she is perfect, I don’t mean she has met some arbitrary standard where she never hurts me or does anything wrong or makes a single mistake. I mean she is exactly who she is; and it is exceedingly beautiful.

So, What?
If any of this has any merit whatsoever, the next logical question is, so what? Should I just keep being exactly who I am without trying to improve as a person? Does it even matter what I do?

Of course, taking this perspective on what it means to be complete is not about what we can get away with. It is about drawing a distinction between who we are and what we do, our source of acceptance and our source of approval.


What we do matters. But we do not need to feel the weight of perfection, at least not eternally. Perfection is our ceiling, not our baseline. To be complete means to acknowledge our faults and our limits while pursuing the best version of our self that we can muster. This is the key to joy and peace in this world, letting ourselves off the hook while still holding ourselves accountable. It is a confusing balance, but the two are not mutually exclusive and are, in fact, complementary of one another.

 

[RiverOL]

5 Ways to Stop Sabotaging Your Relationships​

Dear Terry,
I read your column weekly and think you give good advice. I know my problem is common but I just don’t know if I should stay or leave my partner. We’ve lived together for four years, have a three-year old daughter, Kayla, and fight all the time. I still love Steven but we aren’t happy anymore. Most of our arguments are about small things like who is going to cook dinner or do dishes but we also fight about how often we should make love or how much money we should spend on a vacation.



At this point, I’m beginning to question whether our arguments are damaging our daughter who usually cries when we yell at each other. I should mention that we also call each other names and get ugly when things get headed up. I’m usually the first one to start the argument and the first to end it. My boyfriend, Steven is very stubborn and always wants to be right so he really digs his heels in and will argue all night until we collapse into bed at midnight.

What should I do to end the struggle? By the way, my last few relationships were also like this one and ended badly. I was sure Steven was the one and we got along fine before we became parents. We argue a lot about money since Kayla was born. We spend a lot of money on day care, her clothes, and medical bills since Kayla has asthma and we have a lot of co-pays on doctors’ appointment and medicine.
Please give me advice because I’m very confused. My parents argued a lot too and then got a divorce when I was twelve years old and I’m not sure if I want to go down that path.


Sincerely,
Heather
Dear Heather,
Many people complain that they just can’t find the right partner or they complain about the one they are currently in a relationship with. Don’t get me wrong, we all have annoying behaviors and living together, day in and day out, can cause even a patient person to question: Is this person really the best fit for me?

However, you say you grew up in a family with high conflict between your parents and then they divorced. You may be sabotaging your relationships because conflict is what you are comfortable with. You also recognize that you have a pattern of toxic ways of relating to partners. I believe that becoming more aware of things you might be doing to sabotage your relationship would be helpful at this point. Examine the list below and then select one of two areas to work on. Sit down with Steven (after Kayla is asleep) own your part in your issues, and ask him what he feels your problems are.
5 ways to stop sabotaging your relationship

1. Explore any unrealistic expectations of how others should treat you. This can lead you to feel easily disappointed. Then when your partner treats you badly, your suspicions are confirmed.
2. Stop Holding onto negative beliefs about your partner. It’s easy to fall into the trap of criticizing your him or her, and then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. As a result, might pay too much attention to their flaws and what you expect them to do or say instead of giving them the benefit of the doubt.
3. Feeling resentful and holding a grudge when your needs aren’t met. I’d recommend that you don’t sweep your feelings under the rug. Certainly, pick your battles, but if something is really bothering you, ask your partner to sit down over a beverage and discuss it, without yelling or blaming each other. Start with a soft start up like, “I’d really like to talk and hope we get back on track.”
4. Accept your part in relationship dynamics. Rather than pointing a finger at your partner, say something like: “I love you and want things to work but I get easily annoyed and need more reassurance that we’re a team working on our relationship.”
5. Set boundaries and ground rules for arguments. This includes no name-calling, yelling, put-downs, or insults. Be sure to state what you want from your partner in a positive way, such as “I’d really like it if you’d cook one night a week so I can take a break.” Make sure to have a recovery conversation if you had a dispute and briefly process what happened after you both cool down.