In step

[RiverOL]

Doubling-Down on Christian Persecution: The Cost of Following Jesus​

After my last article, warning Christians in America of persecution, I received no shortage of criticism. While some attempted to discredit me with comparisons of extreme physical persecution at various places around the world, others said I was outright imagining the persecution of Christians in America. And yet, ironically, in the very same comments section, others jeered, “I have a den of lions waiting for you all” and that my thinking was a “death trap” – yes, those were real comments. Sadly, it seems my point was validated; there is a growing resentment towards biblically-minded Christians.


It is probably worth clarifying that I am not comparing the developing trials in America to the intense persecution and martyrdoms of Christians elsewhere in the world. But I do contend that they are still trials and, should our nation continue an abandoning of the biblical moral ethic, such trials will yield to similar, intense, physical persecution. It might take a generation or two, but I assure you it will happen.

The Apostle Paul says, without a hint of ambiguity declares that “all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted” (2 Timothy 3:12). It is important that Christians recognize the nature and seriousness of this statement as we reflect on our lives. We are not excluded from this scriptural truth because we live in a country with religious freedom. We are not excluded because America was built on Christian ideals. No, this truth is as fresh and pregnant for us as it was for 1st century Christians.

Christian, like Peter in the courtyard, you will be challenged to evaluate the cost of following Jesus. You will be forced to ask yourself if Jesus is worth the pain. Likely, it will not be an immediate gun-to-the-head situation, where your answer influences if you live or die. Instead, I suspect the challenge be more subtle, with soft denials. You may be tempted to sugarcoat what scripture teaches about sexuality, to not hurt someone’s feelings. Or perhaps, you will be asked to perform a task at work that you know to be unethical and/or immoral. Or instead, you may be asked to change your language and avoid using “hateful” words found in scripture.


What an entire generation of Christians does not understand is that refusing to align your language, choices, and actions with scripture is a blatant denial of Christ Jesus. Attacks on the doctrine of scripture are attacks on Kingdom of God. Likewise, if we deny His word, we also deny Him. We cannot have it both ways. We cannot claim Jesus as our own and also continue to endorse the world’s philosophies. As the years continue to pile up in our postmodern society, so do the excuses Christians make about why they are willing to deny Jesus and His doctrine.

We would all do well to meditate on Jesus’ warning in Luke 9:62. He says, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.” Here, Jesus is reminding us all not to “look back” at the worldly life we left behind. In doing so, we err like Lot’s wife did in Sodom – not trusting God’s provision. When we take our eyes off the prize and look back at the world we left behind, we declare ourselves unfit for the kingdom of God. Oh, that we would be a generation that would inspect the plow and the field of work ahead with zeal!

Christian, a day is coming when you will be forced to make this very decision: plow forward or look back. At that moment, you will be coaxed to remember a simple, worldly life that didn’t care about attacks on scripture, truth, human dignity, or the person of Christ. On that day, you will be tempted to deny the very Lord that bought you (2 Peter 2:1). Prepare your heart now for that moment, Christian. Look forward and plow! Consider the cost of following Christ and give it gladly. Lay it it all down for the sake of the Kingdom of God. Remember, that it is “He who endures to the end that shall be saved” (Matthew 24:13).


Let us meditate our hearts on the apostle’s words in Philippians 3:8-10. He writes, “Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith—that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death.”

While our current persecution might be light, in comparison to what other brothers and sisters are experiencing in the world, it is still persecution. The doctrine and truth of God’s Word is being put to shame in our culture. It is time for you to decide if you will heed the call. Will you follow Christ or is the cost too much for you to bear? Far too long has the church been idle, ignoring this question. Will you take the yoke and plow the field for the Kingdom of God? Yes, there will be a cost for following Christ. But in such work, you will find joys and wonders of which you never dreamed. Pray that when you are forced to decide between plowing forward or looking back, you will choose the yoke of Christ. Pray that you will be a faithful slave of Christ. It is time for Christians to start owning that title.


In closing, let us go back to Peter, who denied Jesus 3 times in the courtyard. Bear in mind, that even in this gross sin of denial and “looking back,” he found grace and forgiveness. Jesus was firm but very kind to him in His rebuttal (see John 21). In this life, there is never a moment when you are outside the reach of God’s grace. Upon reflection, if you have found that you are in a state of “looking back,” then I encourage you to turn around and take hold of the plow. The harvest is plentiful. The world may hate you in the process, but Jesus’ yoke is “easy” and His “burden is light” (Matthew 11:30).
Seek Christ while He still may be found.

 

[RiverOL]

You May Not Know These 5 Things Are Pushing Him Away​

You love him so much. Why does he push you away?
As the closest person to him, you’re more familiar with his flaws and shortcomings. It’s understandable that you want to make your husband better and help him live up to his potential. But instead of pulling him closer, you may be creating distance.


The more you help the more distant he becomes.
Sometimes when you try to “help” him, you actually push him away.
Many times I’ve tried to “help” my husband. The harder I tried to “help” him, the worse he got.
Sometimes he’d get irritated, and we’d end up in a fight.
I was frustrated. I only wanted to help him be more efficient or smarter.

He didn’t want my help​

He saw my “help” as micromanaging and criticizing.
When I tried to tell him how to do things or told him how other people did things, he felt I was saying he was inadequate or incapable.
So instead of building him up, I was tearing him down.
“Helping” is just one way you can push your husband away. Here are five other ways you may be pushing him away without even knowing it:

1. Comparing him to other men in (not in a good way). No man likes being compared negatively to another man, especially by his wife.
2. Taking over. You take over conversations, speak for him and intervene on his behalf when you don’t think he’s doing a great job speaking up for himself.
3. Saying “I knew you couldn’t do it.” Hearing this from his wife hurts, like a kick in the crotch. The worst part about it is he feels like he can’t even defend himself because he feels like he’s already failed in your eyes.
4. Focusing on his flaws. Everyone falls short in some way or another. When it’s necessary to talk about his flaws, talk in private and be gentle. Talking about his weaknesses in front of others might anger him and make him withdraw from you emotionally.
5. Criticizing him. No one likes to be criticized. Constant criticism makes him feel like he can’t do anything right so he may stop trying.

Boost his morale and make him feel good about himself by being respectful and telling him you’re grateful.
Asking him to do something then telling him how to do it, makes him feel disrespected. When you ask him to do something, let him do it. Then thank him.
When he feels respected and knows he can make you happy, he’ll be a happier husband. He’ll move closer to you instead of moving away.

 

[RiverOL]

The Law of Possession and the Checkbook​

We’re discussing the Law of Possession, which is based on God’s plan for marriage in Genesis 2:24—“And they shall become one flesh.” A healthy marriage requires that a husband and wife take what they once managed individually and bring it into a true union.
When something is held onto outside the marriage, it causes serious problems.


L.C. and LaDonna came to me as a young couple. They were both sweet, God-fearing people, but there was already a wedge dividing their marriage. LaDonna’s father had died recently and given her an inheritance of $65,000.
When she told me this, L.C. looked at the floor. He was clearly uncomfortable. “When we received it,” LaDonna continued, “I knew I needed to submit to L.C. as the financial leader of our home, so I did.”

But then her voice broke and tears streamed down her face. “When we got the check from my father’s estate, L.C. spent half the money on a new truck for himself without even asking me what I thought.” He put the other half in investments—again, without any input from LaDonna.
She felt betrayed. She didn’t mind him getting a truck, and she knew they needed to invest some of the money. But she had also been hoping to use some of it to fix up the house and replace their old new furniture.

LaDonna never had the chance because L.C. never asked her opinion. He just took possession of the money as if it were his.
I explained to L.C. that the way he spent the inheritance money showed LaDonna that, first, he had taken complete possession of it for himself, and second, that he did not care about her opinions or desires—even though the money came from her father.


I also pointed out that, by denying LaDonna’s request to improve her home, he was saying, “I don’t really care about your world. I have my truck, and my world is doing great.”
L.C. was to lead the family, but he was not to be a dictator who could do whatever he pleased. Everything in their lives belonged to them both. When it came to finances, they needed to be partners in the decision-making process.

Many men are selfish in the way they misuse their position of authority, rather than leading for the benefit of all. Living as “one flesh” means a husband must use his authority not to rule for his personal comfort or gain, but to benefit both members of the relationship
More divorces result from financial disagreements than anything else. L.C. and LaDonna worked it out, but only after they realized that finances must be owned, managed, and discussed as a union, not separately.
Living as “one flesh” applies to every aspect of the marriage, including the checkbook.

 

[RiverOL]

Little Creatures Are Very Big to God​

“Little creatures are very big to God.” This is what my wife shared with me as we observed little birds drinking water from a stone bath at a Japanese garden. My wife and the Bible teach me to see the little creatures and cherish them.
For example, in Luke’s Gospel, Jesus tells his followers that his Father providentially cares for sparrows:

“Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten in God’s sight” (Luke 12:6; NRSV).

Jesus transitions to speak of his little disciples:

“But even the hairs of your head are all counted. Do not be afraid; you are of more value than many sparrows” (Luke 12:7; NRSV).

Jesus seeks here in Luke’s Gospel to encourage his followers who would face great obstacles posed by mighty forces in the coming days, months, and years. As we find here in our Lord’s teaching, little creatures—little people, sparrows, and others—are very big to God.

I love how often God instructs Israel and the Church to care for little people—the orphan, widow, and foreigner in their distress. I have been reading through Deuteronomy, where this theme appears repeatedly. As we find throughout the Scriptures, God reminds Israel how he chose them from among all the nations of the world to be his people of promise. He reminds them, too, that they were a slave people whom God delivered from their suffering. Therefore, they should diligently care for the orphan, widow, and foreigner in their midst:

Although heaven and the heaven of heavens belong to the Lord your God, the earth with all that is in it, yet the Lord set his heart in love on your ancestors alone and chose you, their descendants after them, out of all the peoples, as it is today. Circumcise, then, the foreskin of your heart, and do not be stubborn any longer. For the Lord your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who is not partial and takes no bribe, who executes justice for the orphan and the widow, and who loves the strangers, providing them food and clothing.

You shall also love the stranger, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt. You shall fear the Lord your God; him alone you shall worship; to him you shall hold fast, and by his name you shall swear. He is your praise; he is your God, who has done for you these great and awesome things that your own eyes have seen. Your ancestors went down to Egypt seventy persons; and now the Lord your God has made you as numerous as the stars in heaven (Deuteronomy 10:14-22; NRSV).

God also reminds the Church in Corinth that many of them were not great people by worldly standards, but that God chooses the weak and lowly to shame the powerful and noble. God displays his upside down value system to the utmost degree by lifting up and exalting the crucified and risen Jesus (See 1 Corinthians 1:18-31). Later, Jesus’ brother James exhorts the Church to which he writes to honor the lowly rather than discount them and not exalt the well-to-do over against the downtrodden (See James 1 and 2). He reminds them that God cares for the orphan and widow in their distress. True faith leads to faithful action that flows from a circumcised and obedient heart. Deuteronomy and James connect true faith in the Almighty God and faithful care for those who are little by our worldly standards. May we take this connection deep into our hearts and live it out with our hands and feet.

Who and what do you and I cherish, and why? Do we cherish the little people and little creatures? Do we realize that before the throne of God we are all little and in great need of divine mercy? Those who see themselves as great and as having made themselves great often if not always discount and discard the little creatures.

Those who remember that God alone is great and that they, too, were enslaved in Egypt, or who could easily be removed from their lofty positions and fall to the ground, cherish little creatures. May we view others with God’s upside down glory value system. Then we will not miss out on what really matters in life and that really matters to God.

 

[RiverOL]

If This Bible Hero Could Get Past His Past, Anyone Can​

The Apostle Paul was a prolific church planter and missionary, planting churches all throughout the Roman Empire. Paul would then write letters to keep up with and instruct these churches, and these letters have been preserved for 2000 years as part of our New Testament. Here are some of the most famous quotes from the Apostle Paul, and how he continues to inspire Christians today:

I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13
For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Corinthians 5:17
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 1 Corinthians 13:4

Those verses and so many more continue to inspire Christians today, so it’s real easy to assume that the Apostle Paul was always a rock solid Christian, probably grew up in Sunday School, loved youth group, went to a Christian college and has been changing the world ever since.

But when we first find Paul, then known as Saul of Tarsus, he was a violent persecutor of the Christian movement. Saul grew up as an extremely devout and religious Jew, and he correctly saw Jesus as a threat to the established religious Jewish temple system. So after the resurrection, when the disciples wouldn’t stop talking about their claims to see the resurrected Jesus, Paul led the charge to persecute them. In fact, the first Christian martyr, died at the hands of the Jewish religious leaders, and Saul was central to his killing. Here’s what happened next:

And Saul approved of their killing [Stephen]. On that day a great persecution broke out against the church in Jerusalem, and all except the apostles were scattered throughout Judea and Samaria. Godly men buried Stephen and mourned deeply for him. But Saul began to destroy the church. Going from house to house, he dragged off both men and women and put them in prison. Acts 8:1-3


This wasn’t Saul persecuting Christians in the media, calling them names or trying to shut down their buildings. This was Saul ripping apart families and putting people in prison. People died because of Saul. And then Jesus personally recruits Saul to start playing for the home team. Jesus appears to Saul, and Saul is so convinced that Jesus actually rose from the dead, proving that he was everything he claimed to be, that he gave his life to Jesus, changed his name from Saul to Paul, and the rest is history.
But, it’s not quite as easy as that. Have you ever done something from your past that you regret, something you wish you could go back and change? How many of you would like to have your high school years back? How many of you would like to have your 20s back? Your first marriage back?

As legitimately painful as that all is, I hope none of you ever have to deal with what Paul dealt with. Paul literally had blood on his hands. Paul killed people. More than that, Paul killed Christians before he became one. Do you think Paul needed freedom from the guilt and shame from his past? You better believe it! And he obviously found that freedom, because of how much inspiration he still gives us today. If God can help a murdered like Saul find freedom in Jesus, and not only that, redeem his life to inspire generations of Christians for the next 2000 years, there is absolutely nothing you cannot come back from.


For years, perhaps you’ve been disqualifying yourself from God’s love, God’s forgiveness, from God’s redemption because you’ve convinced yourself that what you did was too horrible, too unforgivable. Do you know what Paul would say to that? He would say, “Is that all? Come back to me after you’ve killed dozens or hundreds of people, then we can talk about how you can still find freedom and forgiveness and redemption in Jesus.”

So this is for every single person, no matter what you’ve done. Freedom is for everyone! Here’s a great summary of what drove Paul in freedom:
One thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14

 

[RiverOL]

Why Salvation Brings Shame​

Shame is a flexible word. I’ve pointed this out often (including here and here). For example, shame is a psychological and social phenomenon. For Christians, shame can even have a sacred orientation. What results when we attempt to link shame and theology? Confusion. Yet, that is due to our limitations and lack of reflection, not the Bible or the concept of shame itself.


In this post, I will show how the prophets, especially Ezekiel, relate shame and salvation in three distinct ways. Surprising to some, God intends for his people to experience shame after experiencing salvation. To understand my meaning, keep reading.

Saved from Shame​

Ezekiel illustrates at least three ways that salvation involves shame. Taken in isolation, one might think certain texts contradict each other. In fact, they complement one another. The key to interpreting Ezekiel is understanding the various nuances related to shame. We are saved from, through, and for shame.
The first use of shame language will be familiar to readers of my work. Sin is shameful. The consequences bring embarrassment, disgrace, even humiliation. As I’ve said before, shame is the root and the fruit of sin. In Ezekiel 39, God speaks of the coming restoration of his people. The mention of “shame” could either reference their sin or the exile suffered because of that sin. (I’d have to take a closer look at the text to decide between the two options.)
We are saved from shame. In verses 25–28, the prophet writes,

Therefore thus says the Lord God: Now I will restore the fortunes of Jacob and have mercy on the whole house of Israel, and I will be jealous for my holy name. 26 They shall forget their shame and all the treachery they have practiced against me, when they dwell securely in their land with none to make them afraid, 27 when I have brought them back from the peoples and gathered them from their enemies’ lands, and through them have vindicated my holiness in the sight of many nations. 28 Then they shall know that I am the Lord their God, because I sent them into exile among the nations and then assembled them into their own land. I will leave none of them remaining among the nations anymore.

From this perspective, deliverance from shame entails a restoration of honor. God vindicates his name and Israel is brought back into right relationship to God. This leads us to a second point.

Saved through Shame​

God’s people are saved through shame. In other words, shame is a part of the process by which God accomplishes his work of salvation in our lives. In Ezekiel 43:10–11, we read this:

As for you, son of man, describe to the house of Israel the temple, that they may be ashamed of their iniquities; and they shall measure the plan. 11 And if they are ashamed of all that they have done, make known to them the design of the temple, its arrangement, its exits and its entrances, that is, its whole design; and make known to them as well all its statutes and its whole design and all its laws, and write it down in their sight, so that they may observe all its laws and all its statutes and carry them out.

In context, the prophet gives the people a vision for the glory of God that will return and fill the temple. It represents Israel’s hope, their symbolic reversal of fortune. Ezekiel’s message has an intended purpose–– evoke shame.
(You see a similar dynamic in Paul. I considered this in my review series of Te-Li Lau’s fabulous book Defending Shame.)
Those who rebel against the Lord are regarded as shameless, having no conscious to discern right and wrong. For instance, Jeremiah 3:3 rebukes an obstinate people saying, “Therefore the showers have been withheld, and the spring rain has not come; yet you have the forehead of a whore; you refuse to be ashamed” (cf. Jer 6:15).
Naturally, restoration with God requires the return of a proper sense of shame. In a sense, full reconciliation is conditioned on that change of heart. In effect, this aspect of salvation is tantamount to repentance and the gaining of a new heart, discussed in Ezekiel 36:26–27.

Saved for Shame​

Finally, God’s people are saved for shame. What does this mean? Put simply, God’s salvation should bring about a new perspective about what is honorable and what is praiseworthy. Consider Ezekiel 16:53–54, where the Lord says,

I will restore their fortunes, both the fortunes of Sodom and her daughters, and the fortunes of Samaria and her daughters, and I will restore your own fortunes in their midst, 54 that [לְמַעַן] you may bear your disgrace and be ashamed of all that you have done, becoming a consolation to them.

The intended goal of Israel’s restoration is to instill a right sense of shame. God’s people will no longer be indifferent or even boastful of their own ways. Ezekiel 16:59–63 states the matter plainly.

For thus says the Lord God: I will deal with you as you have done, you who have despised the oath in breaking the covenant, 60 yet I will remember my covenant with you in the days of your youth, and I will establish for you an everlasting covenant. 61 Then you will remember your ways and be ashamed when you take your sisters, both your elder and your younger, and I give them to you as daughters, but not on account of the covenant with you. 62 I will establish my covenant with you, and you shall know that I am the Lord, 63 that [לְמַעַן] you may remember and be confounded [בושׁ = “ashamed” or “disgraced”], and never open your mouth again because of your shame, when I atone for you for all that you have done, declares the Lord God.

A shameless Christian is an oxymoron. Shame is more than a tormenting emotion of which we are a victim. It is a “moral emotion.” Our ambition is not to get rid of shame; it should be to gain the right kind of shame. This accords with salvation. After all, we are saved from, through, and for shame.

 

[RiverOL]

5 No Good, Very Bad Reasons for Divorce​

He gets on your nerves. Maybe he’s lazy, works too much or is bad with money. Or you think you might be happier with someone else. Do you find yourself pondering, “Should I get divorced?”


I get it. Marriage can be a struggle. People sometimes use struggles as an excuse to divorce.
Divorce may be a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You can improve your marriage.
Everyone struggles at one time or another in marriage. You’re not alone. Just because you’re struggling, doesn’t mean you ought to call it quits.

In some cases, divorce may be the only solution.* I’m not knocking anyone who’s chosen that option.
Women initiate divorce more often than men, according to a study by the American Sociological Association.
Sometimes poor excuses motivate wives to call it quits when they could be focusing on ways to make the marriage better.
More times than not, there may be other solutions.

If you’re currently struggling in your marriage, please check out my complimentary resources.​

Here are five common reasons for divorce that may not be reasons at all.

1. You don’t love him anymore
If marriage was based on feelings, everyone would be divorced. That bubbly feeling you got in your tummy when you saw your husband in the early days of your marriage is short lived. Love isn’t a feeling. It’s a decision, a commitment. You can choose to love him. Many days your love will be based on your commitment, not the way you feel. It’s easy to look for reasons not to love him. Look for reasons you can.


2. He won’t change
Every husband has issues. As tempting as it is to try to change him, it’s not your job. It will lead to a whole lot of frustration. Instead focus on what you can change. You can only be responsible for you. Change the way you respond to your husband, and chances are, he’ll change the way he responds to you.

3. You can’t forgive him
Someone once said, “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person will die.” It only hurts you. You’re going to get hurt in marriage, but refusing to forgive won’t help. When you divorce someone you refused to forgive, you may leave the marriage, but you’ll take the bitterness and hurt with you. And it will continue to affect your life. Forgiving doesn’t mean you’re letting him off the hook. It means you’re no longer going to allow the hurt to hold you prisoner. If you need professional help, get it.

4. Your girlfriends think you should leave him
Other people are always willing to offer solutions to our problems. Their solutions are often based on their own experiences, which may have nothing to do with your marriage. A lot of times, the advice is lousy or advice she wouldn’t take herself. Your girlfriends don’t live in your marriage. Chances are they only know the bad stuff about your husband because that’s what you share with them. They don’t experience the tender moments between the two of you. If your friends don’t support your marriage, get new friends. Find women who want better marriages and are willing to work to get them.

5. You think you’d be happier with someone else
You deserve to be happy is one of the biggest myths about marriage. Happiness in marriage isn’t something you deserve. Staying in an unhappy marriage can affect your mental and emotional health. But you don’t have to settle for dissatisfaction and mediocrity. You can learn to see your marriage differently. You don’t deserve to be happy, but you can choose to be.
*I am not referring to cases of abuse. If you are being physically abused, get to a safe place immediately.

 

[RiverOL]

Justice without Love is not Justice: Justice#5​

Two weeks ago, in my post “What is Justice?” I examined the meaning of “righteousness” and “justice” and noted the prevalence of these terms throughout the OT. From Genesis to Malachi (or Genesis to 2nd Chronicles in the Hebrew Bible), the people of God are called to pursue righteousness and justice.


Last week, in my last post “Jesus and the call to Justice: what does Justice look like in a NT world? I noted that Jesus not only continues the ethical call of the OT, but He intensifies it. Thus, in the kingdom of God, Jesus calls us to not only to not murder but to not even have hatred in our hearts (Matt 5:21-22).
It is critical to observe that Jesus and the NT continue the call to pursue righteousness and justice, but they do so under the guise of the law of love.

One of the problems here is that the meaning of love has often been tamed so that it means something along the lines of feeling good about others and being nice to them. This is one of the reasons why people have trouble with God being angry in the Bible (the subject of a future post). Anger is not considered a corollary of love, but something antithetical to love.

This is not biblical love. As I noted in my last post, biblical love looks like Jesus on the cross! Love is sacrificial. It is willing to regard others as more important than oneself (Phil 2:3).
This is why Jesus says that His disciples will be known by others because of their “love for one another” (John 13:35). Yet, at the same time, Jesus defines a disciple as one who denies himself, takes up his cross, and follows Jesus (Mark 8:34).


What kind of difference in the world would the church be making if those who profess Christ, by the power of Spirit, were striving to love like this?
How many of our churches (I realize that many have not attended for some time due to Covid restrictions) look like this? How many of us can say, come to my church and you will see people who are diligently striving to love the other as Jesus loves?
Now, before we get all frustrated with the state of the contemporary church, let’s ask: “how are you doing?”

Righteousness and justice in light of Jesus’ command to love​

What I intend to do in the rest of this post is to cement the connection between Jesus’ call to love and the OT exhortation to do righteousness and justice.
In Luke 6, which is Luke’s version of the Sermon on the Mount (corresponding to Matt 5-7), Jesus lays forth His law of love. Jesus continues to expound on the law of love by noting that we should love even our enemies (Luke 6:27, 35). He, then, adds, “Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure—pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return” (Luke 6:38).


This expression, which is mostly foreign to our modern, western culture, seems out of place. What does a “good measure” have to do with love?
The notion of a “measure—pressed down, shaken together” refers to the practice of generosity in a marketplace. When purchasing a measure of grain, if it were shaken, the grain would settle in the container, thus, allowing more grain to be added. This would be of benefit to the buyer—ensuring them that they obtained a “good [i.e., fair or just] measure.”
The fact that Jesus provides this illustration demonstrates that the love He advocates has application to the marketplace. It is a love that does right within a society: i.e., it is “just.”

For Jesus, love is of the kind that cares for the other in a business dealing to such an extent that one is willing to disadvantage oneself for the sake of the other. It is not about making a profit. It is about doing the “right” thing.
Interestingly, Jesus’ words correspond to the Holiness Code in Lev 19 and the call to righteousness: “You shall have just balances, just weights, a just ephah, and a just hin” (Lev 19:35).
Jesus, in other words, takes the OT principles of righteousness and justice and absorbs them into His radical call to love Jesus’ love, however, is not about some feel-good niceties. Jesus’ love weeps at injustice. Jesus’ love angrily denounces injustice. Jesus’ love sacrifices self for the sake of justice.


This corresponds with what Bruce Waltke noted with regard to the “righteous” in the book of Proverbs; namely, that the righteous are those who are willing to disadvantage themselves for the sake of the community![1]
Jesus’ understanding of love filters through the rest of the NT. Paul, in his advice to the church in Corinth with regard to lawsuits among believers (cf 1 Cor 6:1-8), reminds them that the people of God must be willing to be disadvantaged for the sake of the Gospel and our witness to the world.

Imitate this!​

It is the kind of love that sacrifices for the other—even our enemies—that the Bible calls us to imitate! “For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps” (1 Pet 2:21).

Though this series is on justice, one might begin to see why I have spent so much space addressing the foundation for biblical justice. I dare say, unfortunately so, that most discussions of justice do not derive from the starting point in which the other is more important than oneself.

For Jesus:
justice without love is not justice.
And love without justice is not love.

 

[RiverOL]

Don’t Do, Don’t Desire​

The Ten Words include twelve negative commands. Most of the verbs that are negated are unique:
1) Thou shalt not have (lo’ yihyeh-leka; literally, “there shalt not be to thee”) other gods.
2) Thou shalt not prostrate (lo’-tishtachweh) to them (i.e., images).
3) Thou shalt not serve them (lo’ ta’avdem; again, images).
4) Thou shalt not bear (lo’ tissa’) the name of Yahweh lightly.
5) Thou shalt not kill (lo’ tirtzach).
6) Thou shalt not commit adultery (lo’ tin’aph).


7) Thou shalt not steal (lo’ tignav).
8) Thou shalt not bear (lo’-ta’aneh) false witness.
Two of the negative verbs, though, are used twice:
9) Thous shalt not make (lo’ ta’aseh-leka) for yourself an image.
10) On the seventh day, thou shalt not do (lo’-ta’aseh) any work.
11) Thou shalt not covet (lo’ tachmod) the house of your neighbor.
12) Thou shalt not covet (lo’-tachmod) the wife of your neighbor.

This is interesting. Many of the prohibited actions are, we might say, obviously immoral (killing, adultery, stealing, lying). Others are clearly evil in the sight of the God of Israel (having other gods, prostrating to and serving images, bearing His name thoughtlessly).
The two verbs that are negative twice, though, are either typically positive or at least neutral. ‘asah – doing or making – is something Yahweh Himself does (cf. the Fourth Word, Exodus 20:11). chamad simply means “desire” (cf. Genesis 2:9; Psalm 19:10), and can describe right desires as well as sinful ones.

At least we can say this: What is most divine about man – our ability to make and do – is under the dominion of God. God intrudes even on this Godlike power, telling us what we cannot make and when we cannot make it. And what is most intimate to us – the impulses and movements of our souls – are also under His authority. He tells us what we ought not desire, and what we ought.
For men and women, there is no region of autonomy, no God-free zone of absolute freedom. Inside and out, in doing and not-doing, we are His.

 

[RiverOL]

We May Not Long for Death, But We Long for Heaven​

Isaiah 25:8 says, “He will swallow up death forever! The Sovereign LORD will wipe away all tears… The LORD has spoken!” (NLT). God could have said death will cease or come to an end. Or fade away. But no, like a great lion, God is stalking Death as His prey. When the moment is right, He will attack, take death by the throat, break its neck, and consume it. Death will not die of natural causes. God will kill it once and for all. The work is already done. His death and resurrection will ultimately overcome. Yet death is still with us. Death is already defeated, but not yet—this is the “already and not yet” paradox.


When Jesus annihilates death, it shall be no more. We will not fear it, and it will have no hold on us. Don’t you long for that day?
Below are some quotes on death and longing for Heaven, our eternal home, that I cite in Eternal Perspectives.

I may not long for death, but I surely long for heaven. —Joseph Bayly, A Voice in the Wilderness
It ought to be the business of every day to prepare for our last day. —Matthew Henry
Let us greet the day which assigns each of us to his own home, which snatches us from this place and sets us free from the snares of the world, and restores us to paradise and the kingdom. Anyone who has been in foreign lands longs to return to his own native land. . . . We regard paradise as our native land. —Cyprian, Mortality
To come to Thee is to come home from exile, to come to land out of the raging storm, to come to rest after long labour, to come to the goal of my desires and the summit of my wishes. —Charles Spurgeon, Morning and Evening


A man on his deathbed turned to his physician and mumbled, “What is Heaven like, Doctor?” How could the physician describe Heaven in such brief moments? As his mind searched for an answer for his friend, the doctor heard his dog scratching at the door. “Can you hear my dog scratching at your door?” inquired the physician. The sick man assured him that he could. “Well,” the doctor said, “Heaven must be like that. My dog does not know what is in this room. He only knows he wants to be with me. So it is with Heaven! Our Master is there. That is all we need to know!” —James Jeremiah, The Place Called Heaven

Christian, meditate much on heaven, it will help thee to press on, and to forget the toil of the way. This vale of tears is but the pathway to the better country: this world of woe is but the stepping-stone to a world of bliss. And, after death, what cometh? What wonder-world will open upon our astonished sight? —Charles Spurgeon, Morning and Evening

Most people, if they had really learned to look into their own hearts, would know that they do want, and want acutely, something that cannot be had in this world. There are all sorts of things in this world that offer to give it to you, but they never quite keep their promise. …There was something we grasped at, in that first moment of longing, which just fades away in the reality. —C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity


Can you hear the sighing in the wind? Can you feel the heavy silence in the mountains? Can you sense the restless longing in the sea? Can you see it in the woeful eyes of an animal? Something’s coming . . . something better. —Joni Eareckson Tada, Heaven: Your Real Home
All of us are homesick for Eden.
We yearn to return to a land we’ve never known.
Deep is the need to go back to the garden,
A burning so strong, for a place we belong,
A place that we know is home. —Paul Smith, quoted in Homesick for Eden

O Lord,
I live as a fish in a vessel of water,
only enough to keep me alive,
but in heaven I shall swim in the ocean.
Here I have a little air in me to keep me breathing,
but there I shall have sweet and fresh gales;
Here I have a beam of sun to lighten my darkness,
a warm ray to keep me from freezing;
yonder I shall live in light and warmth for ever
Quicken my hunger and thirst after the realm above.
—The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers

One of the most disconcerting experiences which can come our way is to make a long journey, perhaps even to the other side of the world, and to discover on arrival that we have not been expected. The hotel reservation has not been made, or, even more devastating, the friendly home is all locked up and the warm welcome we have anticipated over the miles is not awaiting us, due to a mix-up of dates or the loss of a letter or e-mail. Heaven, however, is guaranteed not to disappoint…We are expected. —Bruce Milne, The Message of Heaven & Hell

The man who is about to sail for Australia or New Zealand as a settler, is naturally anxious to know something about his future home, its climate, its employments, its inhabitants, its ways, its customs. All these are subjects of deep interest to him. You are leaving the land of your nativity, you are going to spend the rest of your life in a new hemisphere. It would be strange indeed if you did not desire information about your new abode. Now surely, if we hope to dwell for ever in that “better country, even a heavenly one,” we ought to seek all the knowledge we can get about it. Before we go to our eternal home we should try to become acquainted with it. —J. C. Ryle, Heaven

One day when George MacDonald, the great Scottish preacher and writer, was talking with his son, the conversation turned to heaven and the prophet’s version of the end of all things. “It seems too good to be true,” the son said at one point. A smile crossed MacDonald’s whiskered face. “Nay, “ he replied, “it is just so good it must be true.” —Larry Dixon, Heaven: Thinking Now About Forever

I suspect that every saved soul in heaven is a great wonder, and that heaven is a vast museum of wonders of grace and mercy—a palace of miracles, in which everything will surprise everyone who gets there. —Charles Spurgeon, “Feeble Faith Appealing To A Strong Savior”
It is virtually beyond our power to conceive of a future as consistently delightful as that which Christ is preparing for us. And who is to say what is possible with God? —A. W. Tozer, Born After Midnight

 

[RiverOL]

Evangelism is the Greatest Form of Discipleship​

Many churches have a general mission statement that goes something like this: “To glorify God by making fully-devoted disciples of Jesus Christ.” By the way, that’s the mission statement at the church where I currently serve and it’s a restatement of the Great Commission in Matthew 28:19-20 to go and make disciples of all nations.


The real question is: what does it mean to make “fully-devoted disciples”? That’s the point where many churches can diverge. To make fully-devoted disciples there has to be an element of evangelism. We can’t make new disciples if we are not effectively reaching people outside of the faith. That’s the first step to making fully-devoted disciples of Jesus Christ.

The second step is the one we all love: discipleship. Once a person comes to Jesus, there’s a whole host of baggage that needs to be unpacked from their life before Jesus. There’s the sin nature to wrestle with, addictions to break, mindsets to change. Transformation needs to happen through biblical community. People need to grow in their Bible knowledge and grow in their faith. But if that’s where we stop, we haven’t yet made fully-devoted disciples of Jesus Christ.
And that’s just it.

That’s where so many churches stop, on a never-ending treadmill of more and more Bible knowledge (which is great) and more and more fellowship with other believers (which is needed). But a fully-devoted disciple is not simply the Christian with the most Bible knowledge. Bible knowledge in and of itself does not equal spiritual maturity. In Jesus’ day, the people with the greatest Bible knowledge were the Pharisees and the Teachers of the Law, who ended up being Jesus’ greatest opponents.


The final step in creating fully-devoted disciples circles all the way back around to evangelism. The mark of a fully-devoted disciple is a disciple who is making other disciples, a disciple who is bringing others to the faith either through personal evangelism or bringing others with them to church to introduce them to Jesus. That’s why I’ve said for years that evangelism is the greatest form of discipleship.

If we in our churches are not creating disciples who regularly create other disciples, we are not succeeding in the mission of making fully-devoted disciples of Jesus Christ. In the end, all we’re making at best are Doctrine Police and Bible Trivia Experts and at worst are Couch Potato Christians who sit and soak rather than serve and send. If you want to see who the fully-devoted disciples of Jesus Christ are, don’t necessarily go to the biggest churches or find the Christians with the most seminary degrees or the ones who are the most confident (i.e. arrogant) about their doctrine. Find disciples who are making other disciples. Evangelism is the greatest form of discipleship.

QUESTION: What do you think? Can a Christian be a fully-devoted disciple if they are not making other disciples?

 

[RiverOL]

When Church Is Optional, You Set up Your Kids to Fail​

“Hey Pastor, I just wanted to let you know that we won’t be at church for the next three months because my girl is playing ball and they have games on Sunday and practices throughout the week.”
My heart sank into my stomach. I wouldn’t call it shock, because I had heard this statement, or at least something like this, dozens of times from different parents over the years. Sports, plays, bands, fundraisers, on and on went the list of programs and distractions that would inevitably take the family out of church for a season. “Well, let me encourage you to reconsider that”, I began.


But there was no talking him down. I explained in a hushed tone the importance of his role as a father to set the standard for his children. I talked about the importance of putting the Lord first. I talked about the importance of *GULP* attending the local church (Heb 13:17). But, standing before me was a father and husband who, instead of leading his family in holiness was choosing to inflict them with spiritual wounds.

“Well they are saved, so what else is there?” he said, jovially.
I felt my face go flush. “What else is there?” I asked. “Life! The Gospel is for all of life; not just a ‘get-out-of-hell-free’ card. Being here as a family will do far more for them in the long run than this sport. Trust me.”
He snapped back, this time with a more serious tone, “Well, they [his kids] need to learn teamwork and stuff.” We exchanged a few more words and then he walked out – his children and wife in tow. We saw the kids at a couple more youth events and then never again.

Pastorally I still ache thinking about that exchange and others like it. As a believer who considers the gathering of the saints as a commanded, valuable, necessary privilege of grace; I had always struggled with these talks – I suppose I still do. I am stupefied at how readily professing believers throw God on the backburner – especially when the heart of their children is on the line.


Where did we go wrong? How can we sing on Sunday morning that Jesus is my “all-in-all” and then decide to sacrifice the glorious, life-giving truths of the Gospel on the bloody altar of hobbies? At what point did so many professing Christians parents exchange the instruction, “keep your eyes on Jesus” for “Keep your eyes on the ball”?

Oh great, another blog post about the evils of hobbies… I should say this, there is nothing inherently wrong with sports or any other kind of hobby, so long as it doesn’t violate God’s law. I am a huge Phillies baseball fan and an avid hunter (If you didn’t dislike me up to this point – you probably do now).
I wrestled with the tensions between hobbies and church for years. Swinging from one end of the pendulum – it doesn’t matter, to the other – all hobbies are evil and pull people away from God. I would like to think today, through studying God’s Word, I now have a more biblical understanding.

I do not believe that skipping out on the Lord’s Day services is ever appropriate unless divinely organized (sickness, hospitalization, etc.) Sunday is a special day for God’s people and ought not be treated like a second Saturday. This means that hobbies should fall second to the things of God. This thought is certainly counter-cultural. My unsaved family thinks I’m crazy, because every hunting season I come down out of the mountains with my wife and daughters, shower at a truck stop, and attend the service at a small rural church in the nearest town – effectively “wasting” the entire day… and I love it every time.

Admittedly, there are times when I am driving down the mountain pass and thoughts of the big muley bucks I’m missing out on trot through my mind, but then the truth hits me, “Glorious are you [God], more majestic than the mountains full of prey” (Ps 76:4). Hobbies and convenience are no reason to disobey clear commands (Heb 10:25) – not even hunting season. I don’t ever want my girls thinking that we vacation from God.


I believe that the problem is not the sport or hobby itself – the problem is often the forgetfulness of the parents.

Parents Have Forgotten Who Is Responsible for Their Kid’s Spiritual Well-Being.​

Children are a heritage and a blessing from the Lord (Ps 127:3-5), and as gifts from the Lord they are to be handled and cared for as precious beings made in His image (Gen 1:27). It is the parents that are commanded in scripture to discipline their children (Prov 25:19) and teach them what they are to know about God (Prov 22:6, Duet 6:7). It is the parent’s responsibility to introduce their child to the scriptures, “…which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.” (2 Tim 3:14-17). Oddly, in all of the passages we read about raising children, nowhere are these responsibilities shifted to the church. If I must give an account for my family, then I must take these responsibilities seriously.

Parents Have Forgotten the Purpose of Youth Ministry.​

We can argue the validity of youth ministry all day, but most of us should at least agree, as mentioned above, youth group is not an acceptable substitute for Godly living and training at home. I am the first to recognize that there are a lot of bad youth programs out there. However, youth ministry, in its purest form is to come along side parents in helping to equip, meet, and reinforce the spiritual needs and habits of their children. Unfortunately, instead of being used as a helpful tool, youth ministry is often used as a substitute spiritual guide.

It is a sad day when spiritual care of kids is pawned off onto the church, who having them for an hour or two each week is supposed to make up for the lack of spiritual vitality and leadership at home. Is it any wonder that kids get “bored” and fall away? It is even less of a wonder that upon the child falling away the blame is often placed directly on the lap of the church. Imagine if parents took to regularly praying with, studying with, and investing spiritually into their kids!

Parents Have Forgotten the Purpose of the Local Church Gathering.​

When parents choose to enroll their children in programs that will directly violate the clear commands of Hebrews 10:25, it is a sign that they have forgotten the purpose of the local gathering. It’s easy to say “___________” is more fun than church, the kids enjoy it more; forgetting, of course, that the purpose of the church is not to entertain you! Gathering together fulfills a much greater purpose than simply something to do on Sunday morning (as long as nothing else is going on.) Mark Dever summarizes the purpose of the church gathering in this way: “The proper ends for a local congregation’s life and actions are the worship of God, the edification of the church, and the evangelization of the world. These three purposes in turn serve the glory of God.” (A Theology for the Church, p. 809)

Parents Have Forgotten Their Greater Affection​

Most Christians profess that they love God. 1 John 4:19 reminds us that, “we love because he first loved us.” In fact, love for God and love for others is the most prominent mark of believers (John 13:15). Jesus says in John 14:5, “If you love me, keep my commandments.” Simply put, the Christians life is marked by love.


Consider the fact that Jesus lived, died and rose on your behalf. He died as the propitiation for your sins; satisfying the divine wrath of the Father that would have justly fell on you (1 Jn 2:2), had His mercy not spared you. You who were once dead in your trespasses and sins have been made alive (Eph 2:1). When you were born again, Christ took out that old stone heart and replaced it with a heart of flesh that would worship, honor, communion with, and glorify Him (Ez 11:19). You were bought with a price, believer, and you are no longer your own (1 Cor 6:20).

Jesus and His commands are EVERYTHING to the believer and it is that love and passion for Jesus that we should be demonstrating and passing down to our children. Friend, as much as I like baseball and hunting – neither of those have done what Jesus has done for me.
When I pull my children away from the things of God for the sake of hobbies, I am not loving God and I am not loving them. I am programming them to be satisfied with lesser affections – I am programming them to fail.

Conclusion​

Parents, we need to stop “programming” our children to fail in spiritual things by substituting spiritual things with an excess of programs (say that 10X fast), and get back to reminding ourselves of our responsibilities and showing our children that true joy is found in the presence of King Jesus (Ps 16:11).

 

[RiverOL]

Becoming Fast & Light​ [ 1 min read ★ ]

How can we who died to sin still live in it?—Romans 6:2​

Imagine being fast and light when moving through this life. Imagine being free from things that weigh you down, hold you back. Imagine being free to roam, free to rest. Imagine being free from sin and shame and striving and worry and self-doubt. Imagine being free to love, free to slow down, free to go wherever God calls you to go and to do whatever God calls you to do. Brother, that’s the kind of life our King, Jesus Christ, has made available—and to which he calls us now. If he hadn’t come, we wouldn’t be able to access it. The things that encumber us would become prisons too strong for us to escape. But our King did come. He kicked open the prison doors. He knocked down the prison walls. He did what we could never do. He set us free (Galatians 5:1). Now we must do our part. Because we find ourselves without prison walls, we’ve got to stop acting like prisoners and lay down prisoner habits and prisoner beliefs (Hebrews 12:1). We must adopt the practices of free men, men who’re fast and light . . . able to live transparent lives, free from hiding and posing, free to confess struggles and sin openly in community . . . able to make decisions with our lives and our families that align with our King, though probably not with our culture . . . and able to stop and care and help and love people, especially those in need.

Okay, so what do we do?​ What weighs you down? What holds you back? Spend a moment praying and reflecting. Trust that God the Holy Spirit will guide your thoughts. Now, make two lists. On the left, name your top encumbrances—old sin habits, old beliefs. On the right, specify how you’ll commit to laying them down.

 

[RiverOL]

The Danger of Filling Emotions​

Our emotions are the result of one of our values being pressed. When we feel a certain way, it is our heart and soul alerting us that something important at stake. Something significant being provided or denied.



If we do not properly deal with our emotions, they have a tendency to pile up, pollute our perspective, and general make a mess of things. We try so hard to “control” our emotions – to feel the way we want to feel – rather than acknowledge the emotion for what it is worth and search for the meaning behind it.
Circumstances are just the arena in which our life plays out. It is the setting of the play. What we do, our choices and our behavior, is what makes the story what it is.

Immediate Onslaught​

Our initial reaction to negative emotions is to try to shut them up as quickly as possible. We see negative emotions as a “problem” that needs to be “fixed”. So, when it arrives, we do not ask ourselves why we are feeling the way we are. We just try to get rid of it. We try to blame others, justify and discard, or pretend the emotion isn’t there.
What happens when we ignore negative emotions is they linger. They settle in us, just waiting, binding their time. The next time something triggers a similar value, we feel not only the emotion of that new circumstance, but also the emotion of the circumstance we tried to silence before.


It is easy to see how this can get out of hand. We carry around with us layers and layers of un-dealt-with emotion. We react to today’s circumstances with yesterday’s feeling (as well as a new layer for today).
And the worst part is the emotion festers as it settles in us. It gets worse. The annoyance we felt with our spouse becomes resentment. The rejection we felt from our father becomes trauma we carry into every relationship. Even the test we worried about passing becomes a pattern of anxiety.

Immediate Action​

In turn, this makes it harder and harder to a) discover the value buried under all this rubble and b) deal with the emotion of today.
When we feel stress or anger or fright, the best thing to do is to allow ourselves the emotion, to explore the reasons behind it. In short, to handle it properly in its time so that it does not follow us around and compound on the next set of circumstances.

Your feelings are nothing to be afraid of, nothing to hide from. They are not the master of your existence. Emotions are a tool and an opportunity for you to know yourself better. To evaluate, understand, and live toward your values and vision.


By ignoring our emotions (or continuing to deal with them in an unhealthy manner), we make things much harder on ourselves. We drift further from the truth. Further from peace. We put ourselves under layers and layers of pain and then we do all we can to justify that pain. We also carry it with us everywhere we go; it colors our perspective of current circumstances and distracts us from the true vision of our lives.
The only way out is to start to address our emotions in real time, for what they are worth and for the reason they are manifesting. Freedom and healing come from acknowledgement, ownership, and making the best choice(s) possible moving forward.

 

[RiverOL]

Keeping ‘the Main Thing the Main Thing’: Thoughts on Rick Warren’s SBC Speech​

This week, the Southern Baptist Convention held its annual meeting. Although I am a doctrinally convinced Reformed Presbyterian, I have a keen interest in the SBC’s discussions, elections, and outcomes. In many ways, the SBC is an index of the state of Christianity within America. The decisions made and the aftermath of this annual event usually generate ripple effects across all major denominations. It is often a reliable indicator of where we are and where we are headed. This year appears to be no different.


While there are potentially a dozen topics to extract and discuss, one that stuck out to me was a speech by celebrity pastor Rick Warren. Rick is one of America’s most well-known and influential pastors. Aside from giving the invocation speech at President Obama’s 2008 inauguration ceremony, he has pastored Saddleback church (the largest in California) and written several best-selling books, such as The Purpose Driven Life. Suffice it to say that when Mr. Warren gives an opinion on an issue, people in, around, and outside the SBC pay close attention.

This year, he offered some commentary on the issue of ordaining women pastors within the SBC. Warren’s comments came in the form of an appeal, as there were considerations on expelling Saddleback Church over the issue. Apparently, the speech worked as Saddleback currently remains in the SBC. However, for the sake of this article, I want to draw attention to one of the alarming statements made by Mr. Warren in this appeal.

Pleading upon the convention members, he asked them, “Are we to keep bickering over secondary issues? Or are we going to keep the main thing the main thing?….this will make God smile.” I understand Rick’s rhetorical question to mean something like this: The issue of women pastors is a secondary issue. Let us focus on unity and Jesus as we address the culture. If we do this, we will glorify God.

While the sentiment may seem well-meaning and virtuous at a glance, upon deeper consideration, it gives me significant solicitude. Not only for the SBC but for reasons mentioned above, Christianity within America as a whole. Given the nature of the subject of his appeal and his reasoning for how we can make God “smile”. It is clear that there are cataclysmic disagreements on what the main thing is and how we keep it.
For aid in defining “the main thing” and how we “keep it”, let us look to The Westminster Shorter Catechism. I find it very helpful here, as questions 1 and 2 speak directly to these issues.

Q. 1. What is the chief end of man?


A. Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever.

Q. 2. What rule hath God given to direct us how we may glorify and enjoy him?

A. The Word of God, which is contained in the Scriptures of the Old and New Testaments, is the only rule to direct us how we may glorify and enjoy him
In other words, our main objective in life and ministry is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. How do we do this? In faith, we observe and obey God’s Word. As critically stated, Holy Scripture is “the only rule to direct us how we glorify” God.

Jesus gives us similar instruction in Matthew 22. Upon responding to the Pharisee’s question, “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” Jesus replies, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” (22:36-40).

It is important not to overlook the last verse in that text. Loving and glorifying God is directly correlated to the law (scripture). We glorify God when we obey His Word. This covenantal economy is fundamental to the Christian faith. While grace abounds for those in Christ, we are called to the obedience of God’s Word. This is how we love our God with all of our heart, soul, and mind.

For further solidification of these doctrines, here are a few other verses to consider:

• So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31)
• For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen. (Romans 11:36)
• For behold, those who are far from you shall perish; you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you. But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord GOD my refuge, that I may tell of all your works. (Psalm 73:27-28)
• 
  
• All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work. (2 Timothy 2:16-17)
• Built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone. (Ephesians 2:20)
• 
  
• That which we have seen and heard we proclaim also to you, so that you too may have fellowship with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ. And we are writing these things so that our joy may be complete. (1 John 1:3-4)

Friends, it is impossible to glorify God, and “keep the main thing the main thing”, if we are not keenly aware of God’s Word. I would go further and say that anyone advocating that we can glorify God by disobeying His Word is prescribing evil. This is direct dissension from God, His Word, and the economy of His covenant with us. If we are to keep the main thing the main thing, as Mr. Warren pleaded, we must center our lives and ministry on obeying God and His Word. Thankfully, His Word is extremely clear on the issue of women pastors and elders.

Paul writes in 1 Timothy, “Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve” (11-13).
Some look at this verse and argue this was only relevant for the culture at the time. However, the fact that Paul argues for this doctrine by citing the order of creation is telling. This doctrine is not isolated to a 1st-century reading; it is timeless. Simply put, women are not to serve as pastors in the church – ever.


If we advocate to disobey or ignore this clear command in scripture, we are not keeping the main thing the main thing; we have lost sight of the target. Because God’s Word speaks clearly to the issue of women serving as pastors, this will never be a “secondary issue”. Anything God commands, we cannot take it lightly. As Christians, we must accept the Word of God as a whole – not in parts as we see convenient for the given culture at hand. It is in obeying the whole counsel of God’s Word that we will find genuine unity and glory to God. This is how God designed it.

Let us pray for Rick Warren, Saddleback Church, and the church in America. I fear challenging times are coming. As a whole, the church in America is losing sight of the main thing. This is evident in Mr. Warren’s speech and the response of the SBC.

 

[RiverOL]

3 Common EXCUSES that Keep us Stuck with a Mediocre Marriage​

Sometimes, we have a good excuse as to why our marriage isn’t in a good place at the moment. But, the truth is, excuses–even good ones–won’t get us anywhere.

I do it, and you do too.
We can come up with an excuse for everything.

I can’t lose weight because I’m too busy.
I couldn’t finish the work because I was tired.
I yelled at my kids because they wouldn’t listen to me.

Honestly, I’ve said ALL of these before, and I’m not proud of it. I can find an excuse, or a justification for why things aren’t where they should be, at the drop of a hat. As human beings, we don’t want to take responsibility for our own actions, because that means we will have to take a long, hard look at ourselves in the mirror and deal with the truth. Sometimes, we’re are reluctant to face the truth because it stings. And, after accepting the truth, we also realize that we need to change some things in our life. That’s even more difficult.

So, instead, we just make excuses and settle for mediocrity at best.
This happens all too often in our marriages. You might feel like you’re stuck right now. Friends, it doesn’t have to be this way. We don’t have to settle for a mediocre marriage. The first step is recognizing what excuses we’re currently making. There are probably hundreds of excuses we use, but here are 3 common excuses that keep us stuck with a mediocre marriage.


1. I can’t help how I feel, and I’m just not feeling it anymore.
Just the other day, I was watching a morning news program, and they were talking about why some marriages end. One of the commentators said, “Well, the heart wants what the hearts wants.”
This is true…I guess. But, I seriously wanted to turn off the TV when I heard this, because this one excuse has caused so many of us to make terrible decisions when it comes to our relationships. Our hearts are fickle. They can be good and gracious, but they can also be deceitful and hateful.

Our desires can change on a daily basis, so we can’t trust our hearts. The Bible has a lot to say about this too.

From their callous hearts comes iniquity;
their evil imaginations have no limits.
Psalm 73:7

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
Proverbs 3:5

Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.
Proverbs 4:23

A person may think their own ways are right,


but the Lord weighs the heart.
Proverbs 21:2

There will be times when we won’t find our spouse to be very desirable. Other times, our heart will flutter when he/she walks in the room. Some days, we will love the sound of his/her voice. Other days, that sound will hit us like fingernails on a chalkboard. This doesn’t mean we don’t love each other. And, it’s definitely not an excuse to get romantically involved with someone we find attractive at work. In fact, there’s never a reason or justification for an affair.

Those moments when we’re frustrated with our marriage and tired of the way things are is the very time that we need to guard our hearts the most.
It’s true; the heart wants what the heart wants. But, we aren’t helpless. We can train our hearts to want the right things when we turn our hearts to God. At times, this will be hard, but it will save our marriage and keep our hearts in the right place.
Sometimes we just need to try something new TOGETHER. Read “The BEST Kept Secret to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great” for more on this.


2. We have grown apart.
When we looked into our spouse’s eyes on our wedding day and said our vows, we were so excited about our future together. Then, life happened…jobs, kids, obligations, finances, in-laws, illness, and expectations. If we’re not intentional about keeping our marriage strong every day, then everything else will take over. And, we WILL grow apart.

But, even if we do…even if we feel like there are hundreds of miles between us…we can turn back and start moving towards each other to begin the healing process in our marriage. In Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, he talks about how God binds fellow believers together the more we pursue Him.
Ephesians 4:15-17

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. 16 From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.
We can apply this to our marriage as well. Let’s not focus on past mistakes. Let’s forgive and move forward. Let’s pray and believe that God can bring us back together.


Don’t give up on marriage. Grow TOGETHER by spending time together daily, talking regularly, going to counseling, and praying for one another. Read “3 Things I Wish I Could’ve Told Myself on my Wedding Day” for more details on this.

3. All we do is fight.
My husband, Dave, and I hear this a lot when we meet with couples who are going through a hard time in their marriage.
I get it. Emotions can get so high that every single conversation ends in a fight. We feel like our spouse isn’t listening. We don’t feel respected. We feel attacked. And, everything in us tells us to walk away because we are tired of fighting.

In “4 BIG DOs and DON’Ts When Arguing with Your Spouse”,

I discuss how yelling matches can deeply wound our spouse and marriage. It’s hard to listen to someone when we feel like we’re being attacked. And, we often say things that are extremely hurtful. Once we say it, we can never take it back. This can also be extremely damaging to our children as they witness our frequents outbursts.


If this is you, please seek a Christian marriage counselor immediately. If that isn’t possible, please find someone who loves you, your spouse, and God, and ask them to mediate some conversations between you and your spouse. I also highly recommend going to a marriage crisis retreat. There are many you can choose from, but one we often recommend is put on by an organization called Family Dynamics.

Maybe you aren’t yelling at each other, but it still feels like you are always at odds whenever you talk. If this is the case, I encourage you to listen to what your partner has to say without interjecting any comments. Then, say, “I hear you saying…”, and tell them what you think they are trying to say. Then, your partner will tell you if you are correct. After that, it’s your turn to say what’s on your mind. This may seem really cheesy, but it works. It slows the conversation down a bit and keeps us from being defensive. This process forces us to really listen to each other. We may even learn something new and get to the root of the strain in our relationship.

More than anything, we must find a healthy way to communicate on a regular basis. Fighting will only build walls in our relationship. But, talking kindly to one another will keep us connected and on the same page.

 

[RiverOL]

Christ through the Holy Spirit Proceeding from the Father Makes All-Wise Fishermen (For the Season of Pentecost)​

When times are fearful, we can pray “Lord send the fire, that Pentecostal power!” Pentecost is not a day, but a season in the life of the church. Pentecost comes to Christ’s church for Christ’s church to serve everyone in the world.
On the day of Pentecost, Christ sent the Holy Spirit to His church. This church, the ark of salvation, had existed from the foundation of the world, but now the Holy Spirit came to all Christ’s friends, not just a ruler like David or a prophet like Isaiah. The ancient promise that all God’s people could speak the Word of the Lord and feel God’s loving power was consummated. The simple could become wise thanks to the gift of God.


Christ Jesus ascended so that the Holy Spirit could come. Jesus comes to the world near the start of Luke’s Gospel and then Luke tells of the redemptive life of Jesus Christ. The Holy Spirit comes to the church near the beginning of Luke’s Acts of the Apostles and then Luke tells of the redemptive work of some of those apostles in the power of the Holy Spirit. The focus of Pentecost, as Peter’s sermon shows, is on what God did in the incarnation and what God was doing through the Church now. We live, right now, in the age of prophetic fulfillment where “that spoken of by the prophets” becomes a “this” that we can experience.

Christ our God and the Holy Spirit proceeding from the Father are the center of the Pentecostal experience. Those who experience Pentecost break down all barriers of language (2:8), economics (2:44), and ethnicity (2:5) to become one gathering. Babel is undone and the new City of God comes. We do not return to a Garden, the childhood of humankind, but to the Kingdom of God in the City Foursquare. Gifts are given in this beloved community and these are good and necessary gifts from God. Yet Pentecost was not and cannot be sought for the gifts (8:20), but for the sake of the good God as known through Jesus Christ in the power of the Holy Spirit.


If we describe Pentecost, then Christ is the subject of the sentence, the actor, the infilling of the Spirit is the verb, and the holy, catholic, and apostolic church is the object. Christ’s followers were invited to wait and by going to the Upper Room, they gave consent to be filled. They were like Mary (in Luke 2) consenting for Christ to come to her. The Mother of God also was in the Upper Room that Pentecost!

Just as Mary, when the Spirit overshadowed her (Luke 1), was capable of the prophetic Magnificat, so Peter was able to deliver a powerful word after being filled with the Holy Spirit. The Apostles could develop a community that overshadowed Rome, produced great culture in this life, and prepared people for the eternal life to come. This was not bad for an oppressed people, ground down by an empire, and let down by her own leaders.
That same gathering, Christ’s church, exists today. We can go and wait. There when Christ wills, we can see the True Light available freely to all. I could use that fire from on high just now.

Blessed are You, O Christ our God, who made fishermen all-wise, sending upon them the Holy Spirit and, through them, netting the world. O Loving One, glory to You.

 

[RiverOL]

8 Skills to Promote Emotional Connection with Your Partner​

While all couples need some sense of autonomy and closeness, many couples are chronically disconnected and dissatisfied with their degree of intimacy. The most common reason why couples develop serious difficulties is because one or both partners withdraw and go into the “silent treatment” mode due to feelings of hurt, anger, and resentment. In a recent landmark study of 14,000 participants conducted by Schrodt, women are usually (but not always) the ones who demand or pursue and men tend to withdraw or distance.



Then what couples tend to do is blame the other person and a pursuer-distancer dance follows – which intensifies the pattern. According to psychologist Sue Johnson, this dynamic happens when one person becomes somewhat aggressive in their pursuit and the other partner becomes defensive and distant.
Dr. John Gottman’s research on thousands of couples in his Love Lab revealed that couples who get stuck in this pattern the first few years of marriage, have a 80 percent chance of divorcing in the first five years. Typically, couples literally report having the same fights over and over again. After a while, they are no longer addressing the issue at hand and it becomes a vicious cycle of negative feelings that never gets resolved.

A typical example is Stella and Patrick, both in their late forties and married for eleven years. “I’ve been unhappy for some time,” complains Stella. “I feel rejected by Patrick emotionally and sexually. I can’t remember when the last time was when we had sex or were close.” Patrick responds: “Stella is never happy and she complains non-stop, especially about me so it’s no wonder we don’t have sex anymore. She keeps talking about leaving, and honestly divorcing may be the best option.”


While it’s natural to want to throw in the towel when your partner becomes distant, reacting in kind furthers the divide between you. Instead, Dr. Harriet Learner recommends that you take responsibility for warming things up and increase positive reinforcement. This can be done by saying things like “You’re so thoughtful to cook a nice dinner” which highlights their positive qualities and things you appreciate about them.
8 Skills to Promote Emotional Connection with Your Partner:

1. Don’t criticize your partner. Instead, let your partner know what you need in a positive way. For example, “I’d really like it if we could plan to go out to dinner,” is more effective than “You never make plans with me.” Dr. Gottman reminds us that criticism is damaging to a marriage. Talking about specific issues will reap better results than attacking your partner.
2. Resolve conflicts skillfully. Don’t put aside resentments that can destroy your relationship. Experiencing conflict is inevitable and couples who strive to avoid it are at risk of developing stagnant relationships. Avoid defensiveness and showing contempt for your partner (rolling your eyes, ridicule, name-calling, sarcasm, etc.).
3. 
   
   
4. Boost up physical affection. Don’t forget to cuddle on the couch and surprise your partner with a kiss. Even if you’re not a touchy-feely person, increasing physical affection (try doubling the time spend in physical contact) can help you to sustain a deep, meaningful bond.
5. Cultivate shared interests with your partner. Try a variety of activities that bring you both pleasure. For example, some couples take up yoga or take a dance class together. Don’t forget to show interest in your partner’s hobbies even if you don’t share them.
6. “Nurture fondness and admiration”: John Gottman’s principle works like a charm. Remind yourself of your partner’s positive qualities – even as you grapple with their flaws – and express your positive feelings out loud several times each day. Search for common ground rather than insisting on getting your way when you have a disagreement.
7. Be vulnerable and communicate honestly about key issues in your relationship. Be sure to be forthcoming about your concerns and be assertive in your communication. Express thoughts, feelings, and needs in a respectful way and use “I” messages such as “I worry when you are late so please remember to check in,” rather than a “You” message such as “You are so selfish and never think of me.”
8. Take responsibility for your hurtful actions or words. Acknowledge that you messed up by saying something like “I take responsibility for my actions and I’m sorry that they hurt you.” One person’s ability to do this can change the dynamic of the relationship. ’s Julie and John Gottman write: “one person’s response will literally change the brain waves of the other person.”
9. Apologize and practice forgiveness. Saying you’re sorry even if you don’t hurt your partner’s feelings on purpose with help you move on after a dispute. Try to remember you are on the same team. Accept that people do the best they do and try to be more understanding. This doesn’t mean that you accept your partner’s hurtful actions. You simply come to a more realistic view and give them less power over you. After all, we all have flaws.

 

[RiverOL]

3 Big Questions Everyone Answers Whether They Know it or Not​

Daniel 4:1-3 – King Nebuchadnezzar to all peoples, nations, and languages, that dwell in all the earth: Peace be multiplied to you! It has seemed good to me to show the signs and wonders that the Most High God has done for me. How great are his signs, how mighty his wonders! His kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and his dominion endures from generation to generation.
Roughly 2,600 years ago, the most dominant and deadly superpower on the earth was Babylon, which is modern day Iraq. Their tyrant king Nebuchadnezzar was warned by God that if he did not humble himself and repent of his sin within one year, he would lose his mind. That very thing happened and, returning to the throne after wandering around the yard eating grass and sleeping outside for seven years, he sent forth an official state letter explaining this complex and confusing season of his life.


From the opening lines of his letter, we learn three big questions that everyone answers whether they know it or not:

1. Are you really and truly investing your life to build God’s Kingdom, or some other empire like your business, family, or ministry that are not truly for God?
2. Do you worship the “Most High God” alone, or do other rulers like people, pleasure, power, prestige, or peace get the best of your time, energy, and money?
3. Who gets the glory in your life story? If you get the glory in your life story, then it’s a biography. If God gets the glory in your life story, then it’s a testimony. The reason Nebuchadnezzar went crazy for seven years is because he took the credit/glory for all the success in his life. Now, it seems like he is talking about God in a grateful and humble way for the first time.

How have you, honestly, with your time, energy, and money answered each of these three big questions?

 

[RiverOL]

Bring Life into Alignment​ [ 1 min read ★ ]

. . . get out there and walk . . . on the road God called you to travel—Ephesians 4:1-3​

A steel beam has integrity when its purpose, its design, its manufacture, and its use are aligned. Said another way, to have integrity a beam must be designed and manufactured for a specific purpose—and it must actually be used toward that purpose. We can count on a beam like that, even to bear a heavy and important load, because all its existence is in alignment. Though considerably more complex and wondrous, obviously, than a steel beam, we humans need alignment too, to have that kind of integrity. You see, God designs and builds us for specific purposes: “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them” (Ephesians 2:10). God gives us natural talents and spiritual gifts and hearts with unique passions. And he shapes us further by our individual journeys. So, for each of us, our purposes, our design, and the way we’re built are always aligned. God does that. Unlike the beam, however, he allows us to choose our uses. He allows us to choose how we spend our lives. If we ask and search, listen and discover what he had in mind when he dreamt us up and knit us together—and then allow ourselves to be used in the ways he intends—we bring our lives into full alignment. If we strike out on our own, though, and follow the world’s “oughts” into other uses altogether, we commit ourselves to living lives of misalignment.

Okay, so what do we do?​ Start small and be practical. Come up with a short-term project that requires your unique skills and abilities, your unique spiritual gifts (if you know them), and your unique passions. Choose something with significance—i.e., it helps others. Then, don’t wait. Get going on it.