Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine

[yinyang]

Medical question in class

Medical College Professor to a girl student : "Which human body part expands 5 times its normal size...?"


Girl Student : "Sir I can't answer this question, it's too embarrassing...

Professor asked the same question to a male student.

Male Student : "It's the Pupil of a human eye..."

Professor : "Correct."

Then Professor turned to the female student and said : "Listen lady, Not only your thinking is wrong but your expectations are also very high...
5 times is too much...!!! "

 

[yinyang]

Yet another NK's shot

 

[yinyang]

Trumphone

 

[yinyang]

Yet another nuclear test, bad odour for rest?

 

[yinyang]

 

[yinyang]

Beer anyone?

 

[yinyang]

Coma?

 

[yinyang]

 

[yinyang]

 

[yinyang]

What's the diff?

1. What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?_
*Stress is when wife is pregnant;*
*Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant;*
_*Panic is when both are pregnant!*_:p


_2. Grammar Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?_
*Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away!*:p


_3. A young boy asks his Dad: "What is the difference between confident and confidential?_
*Dad says: "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that is confidential!*


_4. A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman ;_
*“Which book has helped you most in your life?”*
*The woman replied , “My husband’s cheque book!”*


_5. A prospective husband in a book store: Do you have a book called,_ *Husband the Master of the House?* *Sales Girl : “Sir, Fiction and Comics are on the 1st floor!"*


_6. Someone asked an old man : “Even after 70 years, you still call your wife Darling, Honey, Love." What’s the secret?"_
*Old man : I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her!*
_
7. Wife : I wish I was a newspaper. So I’d be in your hands all day._
*Husband : I too wish that you were a newspaper. So I could have a new one every day!*

 

[yinyang]

Sex techniques during Pregnancy

Man asks his doctor,

"How do I have sex with my pregnant wife?"

The doctor replied:

"Yes. The first 3 months will be just like normal the next three months you should do it like dog and the last three months you should do it like tiger."

The man replies:

"Tiger? I don't know that method."

The doctor explains :

"Like Tiger Woods. Sleep with other women."

 

[yinyang]

Trump meets Merkel at G20

 

[yinyang]

Then socialising with Xi

 

[yinyang]

US foreign policy in ME?

 

[yinyang]

The consummate musician?

 

[yinyang]

New Oxford dictionary (local) edition

 

[yinyang]

EMPRESS

[FONT=&amp]This week UK prime Minister Theresa May asked Jeremy Corbyn the leader of the Labour Party for help after spending months attacking him.
[/FONT]

 

[yinyang]

Psychological test

 

[yinyang]

Signs

Signboard outside Heaven:

"Lying naked with somebody in bed and screaming Oh God...Oh God.... will not be considered as prayers"

Signboard outside a Prayer Hall:

" Please Do Not Leave Your Bags, Wallets, Cell Phones Unattended.. Others Might Think Those Are The Answers To Their Prayers."

Signboard outside a prostitute's house..

" Married MEN are not allowed. We serve the needy, not the greedy.."

Signboard outside A Bar:

" Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please do Pay In Advance "

Signboard outside Driving School:

" If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way....."

Signboard outside Library:

"Statutory Warning... While reading Kamasutra, please hold the book with BOTH Hands.."

 

[yinyang]

Who gives a shit?

This asshole looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, *Is that Corona or Heineken*??I said, *There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out*

*When you are over fifty who gives a shit*

***********

I was talking to a girl in the bar last night.
She said, *If you lost a few kgs, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right*

I said, *If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you*

When you are over fifty who gives a shit?

*************
I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table. I said, *Nice legs*

The girl giggled and said with a smile, *Do you really think so*

I said *Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now*

When you are over fifty who gives a shit !!


***********
I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs.

"Really" she said, *Go on then...try*

After about thirty minutes of fondling she began to lose patience and said, *Come on, what day was I born* ??

I said, *On your birthday*

When you are over fifty who gives a shit?


************
I asked a Prostitute: *How Much For A Hand Job* ??

Lady: *50/- Do You Want One*

I : *No…No, it just makes me happy To Know How Much I Save When I Do It My Self*

*When you are over fifty who gives a shit*