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Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine
- Thread starter yinyang
- Start date
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2008
- Messages
- 20,448
- Points
- 113
Singh (bhai) wisdom
Bai went to a bank to open a A/C.After seeing the Form he went to Delhi to fill it up.
You know why?
The Form said: 'Fill Up In Capital.'
Bai standing below a light with open mouth.
Why?
Because his doctor advised him: 'Today's dinner should be light!'
On a romantic date, Bai's gf asked him:
'Darling, On our engagement will you give me a ring?'
He said: 'Sure, What's your phone no.?'
Bai found the answer to the most difficult question ever.
What will come first, chicken or egg?
He replied, what ever u order first will come first.
A Teacher told all her students to write an essay about a cricket match.
All the students got busy writing except Bai
He wrote:'Due To Rain, No Match!'
Bai & wife bought coffee at a shop.
Bai drank it quickly before it got cold.
His wife ask why did he drink it so fast?
Bai: Hot coffee cost $5 & cold cost $10.
What happens when bai's wife delivers twins????
He did not sleep d whole night thinking who is the father of the second child.
Manager asked Bai at an interview.
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Bai replied:
P-O-S-T-B-O-X.
After returning from a foreign trip, Bai asked his wife,
Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! But Why?
Bai: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?
Lecturer: Write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi
Bai wrote, "Gandhi was a great man, but I don't know who is Jayanthi.
Interviewer: just imagine you are on the 3rd floor, and it caught fire, how will you escape?
Bai: it's simple. I will stop my Imagination!!!
✌
Bai enquired about his bill from his mobile provider, How much?
Call centre girl: Sir, just dial 123 to know your current bill status.
Bai: Stupid! not my CURRENT BILL, my MOBILE BILL.
Teacher: "What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA, RAM, GANDHI and BUDDHA?"
Bai: "All are born on government holidays..!
Sir: What is the difference between an Orange and an Apple?
Bai: The color of an orange is Orange, but the color of an Apple is not APPLE
Bai went to a bank to open a A/C.After seeing the Form he went to Delhi to fill it up.
You know why?
The Form said: 'Fill Up In Capital.'
Bai standing below a light with open mouth.
Why?
Because his doctor advised him: 'Today's dinner should be light!'
On a romantic date, Bai's gf asked him:
'Darling, On our engagement will you give me a ring?'
He said: 'Sure, What's your phone no.?'
Bai found the answer to the most difficult question ever.
What will come first, chicken or egg?
He replied, what ever u order first will come first.
A Teacher told all her students to write an essay about a cricket match.
All the students got busy writing except Bai
He wrote:'Due To Rain, No Match!'
Bai & wife bought coffee at a shop.
Bai drank it quickly before it got cold.
His wife ask why did he drink it so fast?
Bai: Hot coffee cost $5 & cold cost $10.
What happens when bai's wife delivers twins????
He did not sleep d whole night thinking who is the father of the second child.
Manager asked Bai at an interview.
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Bai replied:
P-O-S-T-B-O-X.
After returning from a foreign trip, Bai asked his wife,
Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! But Why?
Bai: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?
Lecturer: Write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi
Bai wrote, "Gandhi was a great man, but I don't know who is Jayanthi.
Interviewer: just imagine you are on the 3rd floor, and it caught fire, how will you escape?
Bai: it's simple. I will stop my Imagination!!!
✌
Bai enquired about his bill from his mobile provider, How much?
Call centre girl: Sir, just dial 123 to know your current bill status.
Bai: Stupid! not my CURRENT BILL, my MOBILE BILL.
Teacher: "What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA, RAM, GANDHI and BUDDHA?"
Bai: "All are born on government holidays..!
Sir: What is the difference between an Orange and an Apple?
Bai: The color of an orange is Orange, but the color of an Apple is not APPLE
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2008
- Messages
- 20,448
- Points
- 113
Trump with the Devil
Trump has a heart attack and dies. He goes to Hell where the برDevil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do," says the Devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you.
But you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do.
I've got three people here who weren't quite as bad as you.
I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place.
I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
Trump thought that sounded pretty good so he agreed.
The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water.
He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed over and over and over, such was his fate in Hell.
"No!" Trump said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."
The Devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.
"No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented Trump.
The Devil opened a third door. In it, Trump saw Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
Trump looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."
The Devil smiled and said, "Monica, you're free to go!"
Trump has a heart attack and dies. He goes to Hell where the برDevil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do," says the Devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you.
But you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do.
I've got three people here who weren't quite as bad as you.
I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place.
I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
Trump thought that sounded pretty good so he agreed.
The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water.
He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed over and over and over, such was his fate in Hell.
"No!" Trump said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."
The Devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.
"No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented Trump.
The Devil opened a third door. In it, Trump saw Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
Trump looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."
The Devil smiled and said, "Monica, you're free to go!"
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2008
- Messages
- 20,448
- Points
- 113
Priest and the nun
A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third day out, the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning.
After dusting themselves off, the Nun and the Priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the Priest spoke.
'Well, Sister, this looks pretty grim.'
'I know, Father. In fact, I don't think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two..'
'I agree,' says the Father. 'Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would you do something for me?''Anything, Father.'
'I have never seen a woman's chest and I was wondering if I might see yours.'
'Well, under the circumstances I don't see that it would do any harm.'
The Nun opened her habit and the Priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely chest, commenting frequently on their beauty.
'Sister, would you mind if I touched them?'.......she consented and he touched them for several minutes.
'Father, could I ask something of you?'
'Yes, Sister?'
'I have never seen a man's 'you know what'. Could I see yours..?'
'I suppose that would be OK,' the Priest replied lifting his robe.
'Oh Father, may I touch it..?'
The priest consented and after a few minutes of touching he was sporting a huge ere-ct-ion.
'Sister, you know that if I insert my 'THING' in the right place, it can Give Life.'
'Is that true Father..?'
'Yes, it is, Sister.'
'Oh Father, that's wonderful ... Now quick, stick it in the camel and let's get the heck out of here..!'
A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third day out, the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning.
After dusting themselves off, the Nun and the Priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the Priest spoke.
'Well, Sister, this looks pretty grim.'
'I know, Father. In fact, I don't think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two..'
'I agree,' says the Father. 'Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would you do something for me?''Anything, Father.'
'I have never seen a woman's chest and I was wondering if I might see yours.'
'Well, under the circumstances I don't see that it would do any harm.'
The Nun opened her habit and the Priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely chest, commenting frequently on their beauty.
'Sister, would you mind if I touched them?'.......she consented and he touched them for several minutes.
'Father, could I ask something of you?'
'Yes, Sister?'
'I have never seen a man's 'you know what'. Could I see yours..?'
'I suppose that would be OK,' the Priest replied lifting his robe.
'Oh Father, may I touch it..?'
The priest consented and after a few minutes of touching he was sporting a huge ere-ct-ion.
'Sister, you know that if I insert my 'THING' in the right place, it can Give Life.'
'Is that true Father..?'
'Yes, it is, Sister.'
'Oh Father, that's wonderful ... Now quick, stick it in the camel and let's get the heck out of here..!'
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2008
- Messages
- 20,448
- Points
- 113
Bestseller?
Two million copies of the book titled " How to change your wife in thirty days " were sold in one week.
Then publisher realised the spelling mistake.
It was corrected " How to change your life in thirty days".
Only ten copies sold in one week. :p
Two million copies of the book titled " How to change your wife in thirty days " were sold in one week.
Then publisher realised the spelling mistake.
It was corrected " How to change your life in thirty days".
Only ten copies sold in one week. :p
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2008
- Messages
- 20,448
- Points
- 113
Double trouble
My neighbourhood kid came running to me asking, "Uncle, what is that thing you call when two people sleep in the bedroom and one is on top of the other?"
Initially, I was shocked, then quickly recovered and thought that it would be good to be honest. I then described everything about marriage and sex.
Kid said okay and ran back to his house.
A short while later, he returned, "Uncle, that's called a double-decker bed. And my parents want to talk to you!"
My neighbourhood kid came running to me asking, "Uncle, what is that thing you call when two people sleep in the bedroom and one is on top of the other?"
Initially, I was shocked, then quickly recovered and thought that it would be good to be honest. I then described everything about marriage and sex.
Kid said okay and ran back to his house.
A short while later, he returned, "Uncle, that's called a double-decker bed. And my parents want to talk to you!"
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2008
- Messages
- 20,448
- Points
- 113
[FONT=&]Headache & testicles:[/FONT]
[FONT=&]Joe had suffered from really bad headaches for the last 20 years.[/FONT]
[FONT=&]He eventually decides to go and see a Doctor.[/FONT]
[FONT=&]The Doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches.[/FONT]
[FONT=&]The bad news is that it will require castration.[/FONT]
[FONT=&]You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. [/FONT]
[FONT=&]The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.' [/FONT]
[FONT=&]Joe was shocked and depressed.He wondered if he had anything to live for. [/FONT]
[FONT=&]He had no choice but to go under the knife. The surgery cost him $15,000.[/FONT]
[FONT=&]When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. [/FONT]
[FONT=&]As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. [/FONT][FONT=&]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&]He saw a Men's clothing store and thought, 'That's what I need... A new Suit.' [/FONT]
[FONT=&]He entered the shop and told the salesman, 'I'd like a new Suit.' [/FONT]
[FONT=&]The elderly Tailor eyed him briefly and said, 'Let's see... size 44 long.[/FONT]
[FONT=&]Joe laughed, 'That's right, how did you know?' [/FONT]
[FONT=&]'Been in the business 60 years!' the tailor said. [/FONT][FONT=&]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&]Joe tried on the suit it fitted perfectly. [/FONT][FONT=&]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&]As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, 'How about a new shirt?' [/FONT]
[FONT=&]Joe thought for a moment and then said, 'Sure.' [/FONT][FONT=&]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&]The salesman eyed Joe and said, 'Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.' [/FONT]
[FONT=&]Joe was surprised, 'That's right, how did you know?' [/FONT]
[FONT=&]'Been in the business 60 years.' [/FONT]
[FONT=&]Joe tried the shirt and it fitted perfectly. [/FONT]
[FONT=&]Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, 'How about some new Underwear?' [/FONT]
[FONT=&]Joe thought for a moment and said, 'Sure..' [/FONT]
[FONT=&]The salesman said, 'Let's see..... size 36. [/FONT]
[FONT=&]Joe laughed, 'Ah ha! I got you! I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old..' [/FONT]
[FONT=&]The salesman shook his head, 'You can't wea[/FONT]
[FONT=&]r a size 34. A size 34 would press your Testicles up against the base of your spine and give yo[/FONT][FONT=&]u one hell of a Headache.'[/FONT]:p[FONT=&]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&]New suit - $ 400 [/FONT]
[FONT=&]New shirt - $ 36 [/FONT]
[FONT=&]New underwear - $ 6[/FONT][FONT=&]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&]Second Opinion -[/FONT][FONT=&]PRICELESS [/FONT]:p
[FONT=&]Always take second opinion before going under the Surgeons knife...[/FONT]
[FONT=&]Joe had suffered from really bad headaches for the last 20 years.[/FONT]
[FONT=&]He eventually decides to go and see a Doctor.[/FONT]
[FONT=&]The Doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches.[/FONT]
[FONT=&]The bad news is that it will require castration.[/FONT]
[FONT=&]You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. [/FONT]
[FONT=&]The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.' [/FONT]
[FONT=&]Joe was shocked and depressed.He wondered if he had anything to live for. [/FONT]
[FONT=&]He had no choice but to go under the knife. The surgery cost him $15,000.[/FONT]
[FONT=&]When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. [/FONT]
[FONT=&]As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. [/FONT][FONT=&]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&]He saw a Men's clothing store and thought, 'That's what I need... A new Suit.' [/FONT]
[FONT=&]He entered the shop and told the salesman, 'I'd like a new Suit.' [/FONT]
[FONT=&]The elderly Tailor eyed him briefly and said, 'Let's see... size 44 long.[/FONT]
[FONT=&]Joe laughed, 'That's right, how did you know?' [/FONT]
[FONT=&]'Been in the business 60 years!' the tailor said. [/FONT][FONT=&]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&]Joe tried on the suit it fitted perfectly. [/FONT][FONT=&]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&]As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, 'How about a new shirt?' [/FONT]
[FONT=&]Joe thought for a moment and then said, 'Sure.' [/FONT][FONT=&]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&]The salesman eyed Joe and said, 'Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.' [/FONT]
[FONT=&]Joe was surprised, 'That's right, how did you know?' [/FONT]
[FONT=&]'Been in the business 60 years.' [/FONT]
[FONT=&]Joe tried the shirt and it fitted perfectly. [/FONT]
[FONT=&]Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, 'How about some new Underwear?' [/FONT]
[FONT=&]Joe thought for a moment and said, 'Sure..' [/FONT]
[FONT=&]The salesman said, 'Let's see..... size 36. [/FONT]
[FONT=&]Joe laughed, 'Ah ha! I got you! I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old..' [/FONT]
[FONT=&]The salesman shook his head, 'You can't wea[/FONT]
[FONT=&]r a size 34. A size 34 would press your Testicles up against the base of your spine and give yo[/FONT][FONT=&]u one hell of a Headache.'[/FONT]:p[FONT=&][/FONT]
[FONT=&]New suit - $ 400 [/FONT]
[FONT=&]New shirt - $ 36 [/FONT]
[FONT=&]New underwear - $ 6[/FONT][FONT=&]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&]Second Opinion -[/FONT][FONT=&]PRICELESS [/FONT]:p
[FONT=&]Always take second opinion before going under the Surgeons knife...[/FONT]
Last edited:
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2008
- Messages
- 20,448
- Points
- 113
What's love (by nationalities)
*MEN: WHO THEY LOVE MOST*
_*1.THE EUROPEAN MEN:*_
They have 1 wife and 1 girlfriend but they love their wife most.
_*2. THE AMERICAN MEN:*_
They have 1 wife and 1 girlfriend but they love their girlfriend the most.
_*3. THE INDIAN MEN:*_
They have 1 wife and 4 girlfriends but they love their mother the most.
_*4. THE ARAB MEN:*_
They have 4 wives and 1 Girlfriend. But they love their Maid the most.
_*5. THE CHINAMEN:*_
They have 1 wife and several mistresses but love their money the most.
_*6. THE MALAY UMNO MEN:*_
They have 1 official wife, 1 second wife and 2 other secret wives they wed in Thailand or Batam, but they love the Prime Minister the most.
*MEN: WHO THEY LOVE MOST*
_*1.THE EUROPEAN MEN:*_
They have 1 wife and 1 girlfriend but they love their wife most.
_*2. THE AMERICAN MEN:*_
They have 1 wife and 1 girlfriend but they love their girlfriend the most.
_*3. THE INDIAN MEN:*_
They have 1 wife and 4 girlfriends but they love their mother the most.
_*4. THE ARAB MEN:*_
They have 4 wives and 1 Girlfriend. But they love their Maid the most.
_*5. THE CHINAMEN:*_
They have 1 wife and several mistresses but love their money the most.
_*6. THE MALAY UMNO MEN:*_
They have 1 official wife, 1 second wife and 2 other secret wives they wed in Thailand or Batam, but they love the Prime Minister the most.
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