-
IP addresses are NOT logged in this forum so there's no point asking. Please note that this forum is full of homophobes, racists, lunatics, schizophrenics & absolute nut jobs with a smattering of geniuses, Chinese chauvinists, Moderate Muslims and last but not least a couple of "know-it-alls" constantly sprouting their dubious wisdom. If you believe that content generated by unsavory characters might cause you offense PLEASE LEAVE NOW! Sammyboy Admin and Staff are not responsible for your hurt feelings should you choose to read any of the content here. The OTHER forum is HERE so please stop asking.
Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine
- Thread starter yinyang
- Start date
- Joined
- Sep 17, 2008
- Messages
- 2,869
- Points
- 113
- Joined
- Sep 17, 2008
- Messages
- 2,869
- Points
- 113
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2008
- Messages
- 20,448
- Points
- 113
Passionate Sex at 95 ~ 
Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Rubia went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, 'He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning.
Horrified, Rubia told her grandmother that people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
'Oh no, my dear,' replied granny.! 'Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring.. It was just the right rhythm.. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong. 'She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued........ 'He'd still be alive if the damn fire engine had not passed by'.
Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Rubia went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, 'He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning.
Horrified, Rubia told her grandmother that people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
'Oh no, my dear,' replied granny.! 'Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring.. It was just the right rhythm.. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong. 'She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued........ 'He'd still be alive if the damn fire engine had not passed by'.
- Joined
- Sep 17, 2008
- Messages
- 2,869
- Points
- 113
Hot uber driver
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2008
- Messages
- 20,448
- Points
- 113
Hehe:p
What's with part 2?
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2008
- Messages
- 20,448
- Points
- 113
LHL with Trumpy
Donald Trump doesn't recognize Lee Hsien Loong, thinks he were Joko Widodo.
Trump : "So, how's Indonesia?"
Lee : "Indonesia is okay I guess."
Trump : "Good, I want to invest in Indonesia."
Lee : "Uhh... okay. How about Singapore?"
Trump : "I think our talks should focus in Indonesia, not other countries."
Lee : "Well..."
Trump : "Indonesia is good, right?"
Lee : "Well, I cannot confirm but I guess so."
Trump : "You are so sensible. Tell me more about your country!"
Lee : "My country? Our country has a mature economy, solid infrastructure, openness towards investors, no protectionism policy, and it is now among the highest GDP per capita on this planet."
(Trump calls Mnuchin)
Trump : "Steve, listen! I just realized this huge country called Indonezzia is amazing. Let's triple our investment to Indonesia."
And that's how Indonesia got investment from United States, thanks to the diplomatic skills of Lee Hsien Loong.
Donald Trump doesn't recognize Lee Hsien Loong, thinks he were Joko Widodo.
Trump : "So, how's Indonesia?"
Lee : "Indonesia is okay I guess."
Trump : "Good, I want to invest in Indonesia."
Lee : "Uhh... okay. How about Singapore?"
Trump : "I think our talks should focus in Indonesia, not other countries."
Lee : "Well..."
Trump : "Indonesia is good, right?"
Lee : "Well, I cannot confirm but I guess so."
Trump : "You are so sensible. Tell me more about your country!"
Lee : "My country? Our country has a mature economy, solid infrastructure, openness towards investors, no protectionism policy, and it is now among the highest GDP per capita on this planet."
(Trump calls Mnuchin)
Trump : "Steve, listen! I just realized this huge country called Indonezzia is amazing. Let's triple our investment to Indonesia."
And that's how Indonesia got investment from United States, thanks to the diplomatic skills of Lee Hsien Loong.
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2008
- Messages
- 20,448
- Points
- 113
*Clever Signages*!!
*A sign in a shoe repair store*:
"We will heel you, We will save your sole,
We will even dye for you!"
At an *Eye Clinic* :
"If you don't see what you're looking for, You've come to the right place.”;
On a *Plumber's truck* :
"We repair what your husband fixed”;
On an *Electrician's truck* :
"Let us remove your shorts”;
In a *Non-smoking Area* :
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action”;
At a *Car Dealership* :
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.”;
At the *Electric Company* :
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time.
However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted.”;
In a *Restaurant window* :
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”;
In the front yard of a *Funeral Home* :
"Drive carefully. We'll wait.”;
Last but not least and I LOVE THIS..........
Sign on the back of *Septic Tank Truck* :
*"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"*
*A sign in a shoe repair store*:
"We will heel you, We will save your sole,
We will even dye for you!"
At an *Eye Clinic* :
"If you don't see what you're looking for, You've come to the right place.”;
On a *Plumber's truck* :
"We repair what your husband fixed”;
On an *Electrician's truck* :
"Let us remove your shorts”;
In a *Non-smoking Area* :
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action”;
At a *Car Dealership* :
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.”;
At the *Electric Company* :
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time.
However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted.”;
In a *Restaurant window* :
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”;
In the front yard of a *Funeral Home* :
"Drive carefully. We'll wait.”;
Last but not least and I LOVE THIS..........
Sign on the back of *Septic Tank Truck* :
*"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"*
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2008
- Messages
- 20,448
- Points
- 113
The priest and bike
A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty,
and was leaving his mission in the jungle,
where he has spent years teaching the natives,
when he realizes that the one thing he never
taught them, was how to speak English.
So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest.
He points to a tree and says to the chief,
"This is a tree."
The chief looks at the tree and grunts,
"Tree."
The Priest is pleased with the response.
They walk a little further and he points to a rock and says,
"This is a rock."
Hearing this, the chief looks and repeats,
"Rock."
The Priest was really getting enthusiastic about his results when he hears a rustling in the bushes.
As they peek over the top, he sees a couple of
natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity.
The Priest is really flustered and quickly responds,
"Man riding a bike."
The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills them both..
The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that
he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and be kind to each other, so how could he kill these people in cold blood that way?
The chief replied,
"My bike." :p
ENJOY YOUR DAY and remember to keep off the roads when riding somebody else's bicycle.
A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty,
and was leaving his mission in the jungle,
where he has spent years teaching the natives,
when he realizes that the one thing he never
taught them, was how to speak English.
So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest.
He points to a tree and says to the chief,
"This is a tree."
The chief looks at the tree and grunts,
"Tree."
The Priest is pleased with the response.
They walk a little further and he points to a rock and says,
"This is a rock."
Hearing this, the chief looks and repeats,
"Rock."
The Priest was really getting enthusiastic about his results when he hears a rustling in the bushes.
As they peek over the top, he sees a couple of
natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity.
The Priest is really flustered and quickly responds,
"Man riding a bike."
The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills them both..
The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that
he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and be kind to each other, so how could he kill these people in cold blood that way?
The chief replied,
"My bike." :p
ENJOY YOUR DAY and remember to keep off the roads when riding somebody else's bicycle.
- Joined
- Sep 17, 2008
- Messages
- 2,869
- Points
- 113
- Joined
- Sep 17, 2008
- Messages
- 2,869
- Points
- 113
Hehe:p
Haha, no part 2.:p
Maybe in the other "non-affiliated" forum.
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2008
- Messages
- 20,448
- Points
- 113
Don't copy if you cannot paste
An inspirational speaker said: "The best days of my life were the days I spent with another man's wife".
Audience was in shock and silent. Then he added: "and she is my mother". A big round of applause and laughter followed.
One man who listened to the speech decided to crack this joke at home. After dinner, he said to his wife: the best days of my life were the days I spent with another man's wife....
After a moment he tried to recall the second line......
By the time he regained consciousness, he was on hospital bed, recovering from burns of hot water poured by his wife.
Moral of story: Don't copy if you cannot paste:p
An inspirational speaker said: "The best days of my life were the days I spent with another man's wife".
Audience was in shock and silent. Then he added: "and she is my mother". A big round of applause and laughter followed.
One man who listened to the speech decided to crack this joke at home. After dinner, he said to his wife: the best days of my life were the days I spent with another man's wife....
After a moment he tried to recall the second line......
By the time he regained consciousness, he was on hospital bed, recovering from burns of hot water poured by his wife.
Moral of story: Don't copy if you cannot paste:p
Last edited:
Similar threads
