-
IP addresses are NOT logged in this forum so there's no point asking. Please note that this forum is full of homophobes, racists, lunatics, schizophrenics & absolute nut jobs with a smattering of geniuses, Chinese chauvinists, Moderate Muslims and last but not least a couple of "know-it-alls" constantly sprouting their dubious wisdom. If you believe that content generated by unsavory characters might cause you offense PLEASE LEAVE NOW! Sammyboy Admin and Staff are not responsible for your hurt feelings should you choose to read any of the content here. The OTHER forum is HERE so please stop asking.
Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine
- Thread starter yinyang
- Start date
It will be a "Dog Day Afternoon" on July the 3rd.
An old one but still funny
English humour at its best.
Right at the end of a programme recently, there was a discussion about the obscene cost of entry into Premiership football games, the cheapest price of between £60 and £100 per game is not uncommon.
An older chap being interviewed said he could recall many years ago arriving at the turnstiles (it was probably Everton or Man United) and being told:-
“That will be ten quid, mate".
"What?!"
the old chap said "I could get a woman for that!"
The guy on the turnstile retorted, "Not for 45 minutes
each way with a brass band and a meat pie in the interval, you couldn't!"
English humour at its best.
Right at the end of a programme recently, there was a discussion about the obscene cost of entry into Premiership football games, the cheapest price of between £60 and £100 per game is not uncommon.
An older chap being interviewed said he could recall many years ago arriving at the turnstiles (it was probably Everton or Man United) and being told:-
“That will be ten quid, mate".
"What?!"
the old chap said "I could get a woman for that!"
The guy on the turnstile retorted, "Not for 45 minutes
each way with a brass band and a meat pie in the interval, you couldn't!"
Miss Universe: How to best describe the male organ?
A male's most important organ supposedly, as described by some of these most beautiful women of the world, at the Miss Universe Contest.
Question: Ms Australia, how do you describe a Male Organ in your country?
Ms Australia : Well, I can say that male organs in Australia are like labourers.
Question: How can you say so?
Ms Australia : Because they *work day and night.*
(Applause! Applause! Applause!)
Question: Ms Malaysia, how do you describe a male organ in your country ?
Ms Malaysia: Well, I can say that male organs in Malaysia are *like Proton Cars.*
Question: How can you say so?
Ms Malaysia: Because they look tough but *are actually very soft.*
(Applause! Applause! Applause!)
Question: Ms Kuwait, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Kuwait: Well, I can say that male organs in Kuwait are like thieves.
Question: How can you say so?
Ms Kuwait: Because they like to *enter through the back door.*
(Applause! Applause! Applause!)
Question: Ms Philippines, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Philippines: Well, I can say that male organs in our country are *like gossips or rumours.*
Question: How can you say so?
Ms Philippines: Because they pass *from mouth to mouth.*
(Applause! Applause! Applause!)
Question: Ms America, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms America: Well, I can say that male organs in our country are like gentlemen.
Question: How can you say so?
Ms America: Because they stand up *every time they see a woman.*
(Applause! Applause! Applause!)
Question: Ms Nigeria , how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Nigeria : Well, I can say that male organs in Nigeria are like Rats.
Question: How can you say so?
Ms Nigeria : Because they are always searching for *new holes day and night...*
(Standing Ovation)
*AND THE AWARD GOES TO MISS NIGERIA ....
A male's most important organ supposedly, as described by some of these most beautiful women of the world, at the Miss Universe Contest.
Question: Ms Australia, how do you describe a Male Organ in your country?
Ms Australia : Well, I can say that male organs in Australia are like labourers.
Question: How can you say so?
Ms Australia : Because they *work day and night.*
(Applause! Applause! Applause!)
Question: Ms Malaysia, how do you describe a male organ in your country ?
Ms Malaysia: Well, I can say that male organs in Malaysia are *like Proton Cars.*
Question: How can you say so?
Ms Malaysia: Because they look tough but *are actually very soft.*
(Applause! Applause! Applause!)
Question: Ms Kuwait, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Kuwait: Well, I can say that male organs in Kuwait are like thieves.
Question: How can you say so?
Ms Kuwait: Because they like to *enter through the back door.*
(Applause! Applause! Applause!)
Question: Ms Philippines, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Philippines: Well, I can say that male organs in our country are *like gossips or rumours.*
Question: How can you say so?
Ms Philippines: Because they pass *from mouth to mouth.*
(Applause! Applause! Applause!)
Question: Ms America, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms America: Well, I can say that male organs in our country are like gentlemen.
Question: How can you say so?
Ms America: Because they stand up *every time they see a woman.*
(Applause! Applause! Applause!)
Question: Ms Nigeria , how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Nigeria : Well, I can say that male organs in Nigeria are like Rats.
Question: How can you say so?
Ms Nigeria : Because they are always searching for *new holes day and night...*
(Standing Ovation)
*AND THE AWARD GOES TO MISS NIGERIA ....
Diff between guts and balls?
There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We've heard colleagues referring to people with Guts, or with Balls. Do they, however, know the difference between them?
Here's the official distinction; straight from the British Medical Journal: Volume 323; page 295.
GUTS - Is arriving home late, after a night out with the lads, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere? "
BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the lads, smelling of perfume beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the Balls to say: "You're next, Chubby"*
I trust this clears up any confusion.
Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome; both are fatal.
:p
There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We've heard colleagues referring to people with Guts, or with Balls. Do they, however, know the difference between them?
Here's the official distinction; straight from the British Medical Journal: Volume 323; page 295.
GUTS - Is arriving home late, after a night out with the lads, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere? "
BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the lads, smelling of perfume beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the Balls to say: "You're next, Chubby"*
I trust this clears up any confusion.
Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome; both are fatal.
:pSimilar threads
