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In step

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Wake-up Call
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[ 1 min read ★ ]
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. . . faith apart from works is dead—James 2:26

Imagine yourself, for a moment, standing before our Lord and Master, Jesus Christ. Imagine feeling, at first, a bit apprehensive. Imagine lifting your eyes to his. Imagine his face, when you meet his gaze. Imagine his strength, his goodness. Imagine the sound of his voice as he, like the master in his Parable of the Talents, speaks these words: “Well done, good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:14-30). How would that feel—from the one who sacrificed his life for yours—that he’s pleased with the life you’ve lived?

Each of us has work to do before we actually stand face-to-face with Jesus. “He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing” (Ephesians 2:10 MSG). Like the servants in the parable, we’re too given resources for the Master’s work. They were given money; we’re given money too, but also time, energy, natural talents, spiritual gifts, and help from the Holy Spirit. We must waste these resources no more. We must spend them for his work—not just for ourselves.

We must also, though, check our hearts. Doing “good work” isn’t about earning our way into Heaven (Ephesians 2:8-9). Rather, it’s about trusting our Master and following him into a better kind of life.
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Okay, so what do we do?

Take a few minutes to list the extra resources you’ve been given. Write down everything you possibly have to give, just as you are, right where you are, right now. Next, pray and see if you can connect a person (or group of people), and a need, to each resource you’ve listed. What you’ll end up with is the beginnings of a roadmap toward Jesus’ kind of life.
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5 Secrets to a Happy Second Marriage​




While many couples see remarriage as an opportunity to start fresh start and a new chance at happiness, the statistics reveal a different story with the divorce rate for second marriages being 60-67% compared to about 50% for first marriages.

Why is this so? There are many reasons and most of them involve blending people from two separate worlds and adding children to the mix. Add to this financial stress, differences in childrearing and discipline, the stepparent’s role, loyalty issues, and rivalries between family members.



However, it strikes me that if a couple have a foundation of trust and intimacy, they will be better able to withstand the stresses and storms inherent in second marriages and stepfamilies.

In my counseling practice, one of the first questions I ask remarried couples is this: how do you handle conflict in your relationship? It’s important for couples to understand that they’re not going to resolve all arguments but the key to managing conflict is to listen to each other, validate, and let your partner know that you understand their perspective.

For instance, Kevin, 44, is a saver and doesn’t like to spend a lot of money on vacations while his wife, Becky, 43, thinks nothing of spending $1,500.00 on a weekend get-a-way. Kevin said, “We have a lot of expenses and need to do some remodeling on our house, which is very much overdue.”

Becky put it like this: “We both brought two kids to the marriage and work full-time. I’m a second-grade teacher raising four kids under age twelve, sometimes, I need some couples time to feel connected to Kevin.”


While they may never agree, they were able to come to a compromise and stay at an Air B & B, instead of a first-class hotel, and save about $500.00, so Kevin was comfortable and Becky could still have a fun weekend away from their four children to recharge their batteries and to reconnect emotions.

Another question that I asked Kevin and Becky is this: what can you do as a couple to stay emotionally connected and intimate while raising children and keeping up with a busy work schedule? During our sessions, they both agreed that they needed some regular weekly rituals of connections.

With some prompting from me, Kevin suggested having desert and watching a movie or TV show after their kids went to bed on Sunday night and Becky agrees. Becky suggested going to the gym on Saturday morning, leaving Becky’s twin 12-year-old twins in charge of their two younger sisters for two hours, which would help them both work on their fitness goals.

5 Secrets to a Happy Second Marriage

  • Build Trust Over Time: It takes time to build trust in a new spouse after you’ve been divorced, so it’s important to be patient with one another and build trust every day by being there for your partner and being reliable and supportive.
  • Have Realistic Expectations: Successful remarried couples accept that there are inevitable ups and downs in remarried life and they adopt realistic expectations. There is no such thing as a “Soulmate” so work on accepting you partner’s flaws. After all, we all have them.
  • Show Your Partner Small Gestures of Affection: Love is a wonderful feeling, but you have to make a conscious decision to love your partner every day through actions – such as small gestures and displays of love and affection. In order for a complicated remarriage to thrive, it must be nurtured. For example, give your partner a neck massage or make him or her a nice meal.
  • Practice Good Communication Skills: Rather than blame each other when something goes wrong, try listening to your partner’s side of the story. Turn towards each other (use good eye contact) and turn off your phones and other electronic devices when you’re sharing something of importance. Pause and examine what part you played when you have a miscommunication.
  • Learn to Repair Disputes Quickly: You can do this by saying how you feel, why you feel this way, and stating one thing you’d like to see change. Be sure not to throw in the kitchen sink when you have conflict, and give your partner the benefit of the doubt.

Most of all, remind yourself of what attracted you to your partner and tell them something that you appreciate about them every day. This will boost your love and affection and help your remarriage to thrive. If you need more help that this post offers, visit my website for more suggestions.
 

Marriage Killer: The Cares of This World​


In the parable of the sower, Jesus discusses how the Word of God hits some people’s hearts. Some people bear fruit for God as a result. But others do not bear fruit because they exhibit “thorny soil”—soil that is choked out by the cares of this world, the deceitfulness of riches, and the desire for other things (Mark 4:1-20)


The issue of bearing fruit doesn’t only apply to the individual lives of believers, but also to marriages. Some men and women love God but their marriages are never great because they never bear fruit. Why not? For the exact reasons Jesus gave.

In this Marriage Builder, I want to single out the first main fruit-killer which Jesus mentioned, because it is one that affects almost all of us.

This marriage killer is stress, or as Jesus describes it, “the cares of this world.” We were not created to operate in stress. We were created to operate in peace. Marriages require emotional energy and stress robs us of that energy.

Have you ever had a particularly stressful day or week? Afterward, it’s hard for you to relate to other people, because you are worn out emotionally.

Bonding doesn’t happen because of proximity. You can’t just sit on a couch together watching American Idol. You have to interact. You have to get emotionally involved, and this becomes very difficult when your emotions are already worn ragged due to stress.

Because men and women deal with emotions so differently, the emotional side of marriage is hard enough to begin with. Add stress to a relationship and it becomes much an even greater challenge.


But stress doesn’t just hurt relationships emotionally. It damages them physically, too. The number-one sexual problem among women is inhibited sexual desire because of stress and physical exhaustion.

Being stressed-out is a sex-killer for both husbands and wives. That’s why couples tend to have the best sex when husbands help with the kids, or the dishes, or the housework. This is a turn-on for the wife because, among other reasons, it reduces her stress.

Stress can also be a health-killer. The primary reason for doctors’ visits today in America is stress-related illness. Stress even rubs off on our children, who intuitively know when their parents are stressed. Sometimes kids will even develop physical problems because they observe their parents’ stress and internalize it.

God did not create us to live this way. We are not supposed to be like those plate-spinners at the circus, who put so many plates in motion that, eventually, some of them begin to drop and break. When that happens, you have broken children, broken bodies, broken emotions, and broken marriages.

The rule for not letting “the cares of this world” affect your marriage is this: less is more. Are you trying to do too much? Have you taken on too many responsibilities at work, or even church? Are you putting your income or success above your marriage? Those are questions we need to ask and answer.


The best lives, and best marriages, will always be the simple ones.
 

Finding Sacred Pause: 5 Apps that Build Spiritual Discipline​


Despite the promises of technology and gadgets to simplify our lives, the demands on our time and responsibilities haven’t lessened. Most of us recognize the importance of following Jesus’ example, who “frequently withdrew to the wilderness and prayed” (Luke 5:16, NET). Yet, despite knowing the importance of pause, we often fail to create the margin in our schedules to do the same. Even in rare moments of downtime, our minds are flooded with thoughts, to-do lists, and anxieties that overwhelm us when silence finally comes. In this blog post, I share five apps that support spiritual discipline and help us to build and embrace sacred pause in our lives.

The Importance of Building Sacred Pause​

This lack of sacred pause and discipline in our lives, and the demands on our lives, certainly serves to highlight the critical need to build margin in our lives through spiritual disciplines, such as the practice of developing and living by a Rule of Life. However, even with a well-thought-out Rule of Life that I create at the start of each new year, I often still find life interrupting my best intentions and most boundaried practices. In the noise and chaos of a busy schedule, sacred pause and discipline is essential. I have found some apps have been invaluable in supporting my daily spiritual practices.

Spiritual practices shape us in the ways, words, and works of Jesus. These disciplines teach us to be still, helping us resist the grip of busyness. By intentionally pausing, we push back against the relentless demands of our consumeristic culture and turn our focus toward God. This act of pausing allows us to “stop striving and recognize that [God is] God” (Psalm 46:10, NET).


The Lead a Quiet Life blog on Patheos explores what it means to embrace a quieter life at a slower pace. Through spiritual disciplines, we discover a simple life and faith, one that welcomes downward mobility in a world—and a church—often consumed by excess. Even apps, which so often dominate our time, can be tools that aid us on this journey when used thoughtfully.

Apps Can Help Us Build Sacred Pause​

The apps that quickly litter our phones and tablets can be sources of distraction or well-meaning intentions. However, they can also serve as valuable tools for nurturing our spiritual and personal growth. Among the many options, I’ve found these five apps particularly helpful for integrating meaningful practices, scriptural truths, and disciplines into daily life. They provide accessible ways to stay organized, reflect, and connect with God, even in the midst of our busy schedules.

5 Apps that help to build sacred pause.5 Apps that help to build sacred pause.
Lectio 365 from 24-7 Prayer
Lectio 365 is the daily devotional resource of the international 24-7 Prayer movement and particularly of its religious order the Order of the Mustard Seed.


  • Three daily prayers and scripture readings—morning, afternoon, and evening—offer a rhythm for connecting with God throughout the day.
  • I listen to the morning prayer during my drive, the afternoon one on my lunch break, and the evening prayer either during a walk or as I drift off to sleep.
The Bible with Nicky and Pippa from Alpha International
Join Nicky and Pippa Gumbel of the Alpha Course as they take you through every chapter and verse of the Bible, sharing their reflections and prayers along the way.

  • There are three options to choose from: an express version, a medium version, and a longer version. Each version includes some commentary alongside the scripture, with less commentary as the version gets shorter.
  • I typically use this on my commute after the Lectio 365 app or as soon as I arrive at my office.
  • In 2025, I’ve been using the express version, which offers minimal commentary but fits well into my schedule.
Logos Bible by Faithlife
This app is more than just a Bible reader. It lets you study the Bible, access commentaries, explore Greek and Hebrew meanings, create custom reading plans, and more.


  • The free version offers limited resources, but as a Logos Software user, I have access to thousands of resources on the go.
  • This app provides more features and customization than most Bible reading apps and is designed specifically for in-depth study.
  • I use it when people ask me questions or when I have a question of my own to explore.
Five Psalms by Bryant Hyuang
The Psalms provide a guide for prayer and reflection. This app offers five Psalms daily, helping you complete them all in 31 days. You can also include a chapter from Proverbs daily.

  • This app is simple and lightweight, offering a no-frills experience. It features five tabs, each containing a Psalm for the day.
  • I find this app helpful to use during quiet moments between meetings or to find peace in anxious times.
Bible App by Life.Church
Bible App from YouVersion. Have the Bible and Bible study reading plans with you no matter where you go with this website and free app for your phone or tablet.


  • This app offers every version of the scriptures you could want, along with a daily verse.
  • I especially enjoy the verse of the day and occasionally use the Bible study reading plans, which can send daily reminders to keep me on track.”
You can find all of these apps in your Google or Apple App stores.

A Few Final Thoughts on Sacred Pause​

As we navigate the noise and demands of life at the start of 2025, I invite you to join me in finding greater intentionality in the moments of margin and pause, embracing disciplines and practices that deepen our connection with God. These apps serve as a step in that direction—they are small yet powerful tools to help integrate spiritual practices into our daily routines. While they are not a substitute for deep, quiet reflection or meaningful, extended encounters with the Spirit of God, they can help keep us grounded. They draw us back to the living and breathing Scriptures, which have the power to pierce the deepest parts of who we are—if we allow them to.

  • I would love to hear about the apps you’ve tried:
  • What apps has worked for you, and what hasn’t?
  • Have you found any other apps that have helped nurture your spiritual life?

Please share your thoughts in the comments, and I encourage you to give one of these five apps a try. While these are among the ones I use regularly, there are many others I’ve found helpful as well. Let’s continue the conversation and learn from each other’s experiences.
 

What Are Treasures in Heaven?​


A reader on my Facebook page asked this question about the nature of treasures in Heaven: “What does that even mean to ‘store your treasures in heaven’? What treasures are we storing up?!”

The Greek word translated “treasures” or “riches” in Matthew 6 normally means “accumulated wealth in the form of money, jewels, or other valuables.” That’s exactly what Christ’s disciples would have immediately thought of: tangible wealth, valuable assets, precious possessions.

It’s true that when Jesus speaks about “treasures in heaven,” we don’t know the exact form those treasures will take. Treasures in Heaven could be of material or spiritual nature, but either way they are real, meaningful rewards for God’s people who give generously.

In Matthew 6, Jesus tells us to transfer our wealth from one place to another. When we die, earthly treasure will no longer be ours, but wealth we’ve transferred to Heaven will remain ours forever.


God will also give us eternal rewards for doing good works (Ephesians 6:8; Romans 2:6, 10), persevering under persecution (Luke 6:22–23), showing compassion to the needy (Luke 14:13–14), and treating our enemies kindly (Luke 6:35).

We’re told that “the saints of the Most High shall receive the kingdom and possess the kingdom forever, forever and ever” (Daniel 7:18, ESV). What is “the kingdom”? Earth. On the New Earth, God’s children will reign with Christ (Revelation 20:6). Faithful servants will be put “in charge of many things” (Matthew 25:21, 23).

Scripture refers to five different crowns, which may or may not be literal but clearly represent ruling positions in God’s kingdom. Treasures in Heaven, then, will surely include the rewards of God entrusting His faithful children with positions of leadership in proportion to their service on Earth (Luke 19:12–19).

Once we grasp what Heaven really is and will be, we can begin to understand what Christ meant when He talked about storing up treasures there.
 

Windstorms and Wildfires: Finding Christ Among Devastation​


As I sit down in the local library to write this post, I can see the ocean extending beyond the tree tops and red tiled roofs of the Palos Verdes Peninsula. Following the curve of the coast, I can see beach towns, most notably a collection of tall white buildings that must be Santa Monica, where I lived when I moved to SoCal in 2004. But then the buildings stop. Sweeping my eyes to the left there is an eerie emptiness, for little remains of the 21-mile coastal stretch of Malibu. Further along the Pacific Coast Highway, even less remains of Pacific Palisades. Places I know well are no longer.




View of the devastated coast line from a library on the Palos Verdes Peninsula on January 16, 2025

Map showing how the curve of the Malibu coast is visible from the Palos Verdes Peninsula


Forgive me if my post is disjointed, but I have been in such distress since the fires broke out. I’m grateful that aside from dangerous air quality when the fires first erupted – when flames were visible from the Peninsula – my family has not been in danger. Even so, with fires erupting all around us with zero containment, homes burning on live television because fire hydrants had no water, and Santa Ana winds producing hurricane-force winds causing what meteorologists dubbed “fire-canes,” I felt myself slipping into a panic. All I could do was cry. Receiving an erroneous evacuation warning did not help.


Flames engulfing Pacific Palisades, as seen from the Palos Verdes Peninsula hours after the fires erupted on January 7, 2025


What did I do? First, I asked my husband to hold me until I stopped shaking. Then, strangely enough, I took charge of my health. Sealed inside due to dangerous levels of smoke outside, I reached into the back of my closet and pulled out a folder of printed guidelines I had used during lockdown to slim down. Documenting what I eat, following a regimented workout plan, and seeing the inches melt away over the past week has given me enough control to function. That and prayer, of course.


Firestorm: “The Palisades Fire ravages a neighborhood amid high winds in the Pacific Palisades neighborhood of Los Angeles, Tuesday, Jan. 7, 2025. AP Image.”


Rather than focus on the devastation, I’d like to use this post to share a few stories of hope. I’ll start with a story with deep personal significance.

I learned about the fires when my husband texted at 2pm on January 7 to say that a dear friend – godfather to our youngest son – was under evacuation orders in Pacific Palisades. Not wanting to alarm my children, I kept our play date with a school friend, playing basketball with my daughter until dusk. Back at home we turned on the news and saw firestorms raging across Pacific Palisades as the Eaton fire devoured Altadena, and several other smaller fires spread rapidly. My husband and I checked the fire maps late into the night, hoping our friend’s home would be spared; hearing on the news that the “alphabet streets” in Pacific Palisades had all burned, we realized his house was gone. I began praying that the Catholic church a few blocks away would survive.

It did not.

I was watching live news coverage the next afternoon, Wednesday, January 8, when a newscaster announced that the archdiocese had just confirmed that Corpus Christi church had burned. I called my husband, who has known the pastor for 42 years, and sobbed with him over the phone. This beautiful church where we attended Mass every year to celebrate my husband’s birthday before walking over to our dear friend’s home to spend the afternoon. They were both gone.


At the dining room table halfheartedly preparing a lecture a few days later, my husband texted me joyful news: Fire captain makes way through ruins of incinerated church to find tabernacle intact. Corpus Christi church burned, but the tabernacle, and the Blessed Sacrament inside it, survived! What a beautiful reminder that though our churches might be destroyed, though everything around us may burn, God will always be with us.

While writing this post, I learned that the church’s stainless-steel Stations of the Cross also survived: Twisted Steel. Charred Bricks. Exploded Windows. What Remains Unscathed? ‘A Miracle.’ The article mentions three other symbols of hope: sacred Torah scrolls saved from the flames in Pasadena, the bell tower of a Baptist church in Altadena standing as a beacon, and a sculpture aptly named “Broken but Together” surviving the blaze in Pacific Palisades.

One afternoon, my children came home from school telling me all sorts of stories about how courage and faith were getting people through the wildfires. A 95-tear-old man saved his own home and those of his neighbors with a garden hose. Holy images had been left on porches and those homes survived even through the neighborhood burned. A family sang to Mama María, my children told me, amidst the rubble of their burned home. You may have heard this story, because it’s gone viral.


Early the next morning, my sister texted a link to the story and video of a family singing Regina Caeli: Los Angeles family sings hymn to Mary amid rubble of their burned home. To my astonishment, I realized I know this family! I went to college with Peter Halpin and one of his cousins, and I worked with someone who married one of the daughters. It’s difficult not to weep when hearing the Halpins sing as the camera pans to expose the charred remains of their neighborhood. Even Bette Midler reposted this story as a symbol of hope.


“The story of Peter and Jackie Halpin, along with their entire family of six adult children, has moved many hearts online. (photo: Go Fund Me / Halpin Family)”


I began to wonder: Am I sufficiently detached from earthly goods to sing in the midst of destruction? Could I be happy in the face of so much loss?

This morning on my way to Azusa, I listened to Harvard professor and best-selling author Arthur Brooks discuss the Science of Happiness. As I drove past the still smoldering Eaton Fire, barely discernible as a small cloud of smoke in the foothills on an otherwise glorious winter morning, Brooks described a trip to the National Palace Museum in Taiwan, the world’s most famous museum of Chinese arts and artifacts.

Seeing a jade sculpture of village life, he asked his guide, a philosopher of Chinese and Western art, to discuss how this piece differed philosophically from art produced in the West. The guide explained that Westerners perceive of art as something made from nothing, an empty canvas filled with brush strokes, whereas the East perceives of art as already existing, an object, like jade, waiting for someone to take away the parts that aren’t art and reveal what is hidden inside.

Brooks says the guide “blew his mind” when he equated this attitude with the Western idea of success, of beginning with an empty canvas of life and filling it with brushstrokes, rather than chipping away and chipping away until revealing your true self, as in the East. In response, Brooks advised his listeners to find ways to chip away at the superfluous things in life and focus on the small, beautiful things, which will lead to satisfaction, an element of happiness.


The little things: like a tabernacle buried in debris, a bell tower left standing, a beloved surviving image of Our Lady of Guadalupe, prompting song?
 
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Speak Responsibly
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Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.
Let all that you do be done in love—1 Corinthians 16:13-14


Whether it’s two of us or twelve of us or more, when we gather in Christian community, we’re to speak truth to one another, truth motivated by love (Ephesians 4:15). Truth in love—it sounds simple, actually . . . straightforward. And sometimes it is. Many times, though, it’s anything but simple or straightforward. And, in those times, we men don’t typically fare too well. I mean, the mess and complexity of life can make speaking truth in love daunting and uncomfortable—for example, when it requires we challenge a brother or admonish him; when it requires we call-out a brother or call him back from sin. So it’s a rare group of men indeed who are willing to speak truth in love even when it’s hard. We’ve got to be that kind of men.

For us to be that kind, though, we must first be another kind: men who take time to know one another. You see, except in a few cases, it’s irresponsible to “speak truth” to any man without knowing his story. We’re one body, all following our King, Jesus Christ, but we’re also all different, with different designs, different functions, different experiences (Romans 12:4-5). For community to work, for truth to flow properly, we must understand and appreciate each other. And we begin by telling our stories. If we don’t begin there, we’re likely to damage community and to do damage to each other—like when we give advice and try to “fix” a person, or a situation, we don’t fully understand.
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Okay, so what do we do?

Do you know your brothers’ stories? If you haven’t already, give each man an hour—at least—to tell his story, completely. Have each man start at the beginning and bring his story current. Encourage transparency. Ask no questions. Give no advice. Just listen.
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How Do I Overcome the Legacy of Divorce?​




Do you ever wonder if you’ll get out from under the shadow of your parents’ divorce? Do you worry about repeating the patterns of the past? The challenge of creating and maintaining a healthy, long-lasting relationship is where your parents fell short. But you have an opportunity to learn from their mistakes and build the kind of relationship that eluded your parents.

There are many reasons why adults raised in divorced homes get stuck in the past and have difficulty establishing healthy relationships in the present. You might find yourself in relationship patterns that mirror your family of origin. It’s understandable that you might repeat patterns that you observed in your childhood home. Another factor may be what Freud referred to as repetition compulsion. This is a tendency that people have to repeat patterns from the past as a way to gain mastery over them. In either case, becoming more aware of the unhealthy relationship patterns that contributed to your parents’ divorce can be a good first step.


Abby, in her late thirties, spent over two decades struggling with ghosts from the past and experiencing turmoil in romantic relationships. Because she had little insight into her past, she found herself reenacting the painful memories of her parents’ marriage and subsequent breakup. Abby’s parents split when she was nine years old when her mother discovered that her father had been cheating on her for years. Her adolescence was a time of turmoil as she lived between her parents’ two desperate worlds and acted out due to the conflict she experienced.

During young adulthood, Abby struggled through a series of unhealthy, short-term relationships until she met her fiancé, Rob, at age thirty-five. Prior to meeting Rob, she hadn’t had a healthy relationship for many years. She admits to sabotaging her relationships by being mistrustful and controlling. As Abby describes her issue with trust, she says, “My first serious boyfriend in college cheated on me several times. He betrayed me just like my dad cheated on my mom. After college, I dated someone named Kyle who was wonderful and treated me right. But since I wasn’t used to wonderful, I left him and picked guys who were the opposite of him. After that, I dated a lot of guys but didn’t have a serious relationship for many years.”


For nearly two decades, Abby avoided making a commitment because she was mistrustful and fearful of ending up like her parents. Like many daughters of divorce, she needed special permission to grieve the loss of her original family. With support from a seasoned therapist, Abby gained the insight to break the self-defeating pattern of mistrust and fear of commitment. When I asked Abby what the most difficult parts of an intimate relationship are, she stopped and nodded: “Trust and intimacy are not my strong suits. I hope that my marriage is nothing like my parents. I hope that it will be based on commitment and communication, which Rob and I have been working on.”

Penny provides another example of a woman who replayed patterns of the past for many years without conscious awareness. In love with the idea of marriage, Penny was looking for the nurturing and intimacy she lacked as a child. Like her mother, Penny was self-sacrificing and was attracted to someone who was her opposite – self-absorbed and unwilling to consider her needs. Ignoring the red flags early in the relationship, she was caught up in a pursuer-distancer pattern with her fiancé Bill, who could never fully commit to marriage. They had been engaged for six years and he was unwilling to set a date for their wedding. Unfortunately, Penny allowed herself to pursue a partner who bore a strong resemblance to her emotionally distant father.


How to Let Go Of the Past

There are many reasons why people have difficulty
letting go of the past and moving past divorce. Sometimes, children take their parents’ offenses to heart and blame themselves. After all, all children want to admire their caregivers and so when they do things that are untrustworthy, children blame themselves as a way to make sense of their world. Some people even create a narrative for their life that focuses on suffering and blame. The following tips will help you to heal from the past and to make healthier choices in relationships in the present.

  • Gain awareness about past hurt. For instance, both Abby and Penny learned that their parents’ unhealthy patterns had impacted their choices in partners much more than they realized.
  • Acknowledge the damage that was done and shift to an impersonal perspective. In other words, don’t take your parents’ actions personally, in most cases they were not trying to hurt or upset you when they divorced.
  • Find ways to repair the damage by writing a new narrative for your life – one that includes picking partners who are trustworthy and willing to work on a committed relationship.
  • Examine your expectations about intimate relationships. You might be focused on your dream of how a relationship should be rather than the reality of how it is – leading to disappointment.
  • Focus on the things that you can control. Abby realized that she couldn’t control her father’s infidelity but she could choose a life partner who shared her view of fidelity and commitment.

Crafting a new story for your life includes not allowing your parents’ divorce or unhappiness to define who you are as a person. Develop and use positive intentions or affirmations such as:

  • I accept that I don’t have control over all aspects of my life, but I can exercise the power of choice. I will attempt to make good choices and let go of those things that are beyond my control.
  • I won’t let my parents’ divorce or my past prevent me from making positive choices today.
With time and patience, you can begin to visualize the kind of life you need to thrive. You don’t have to let your past dictate the decisions you make today. Restoring your faith in love includes building relationships based on love, trust, and intimacy. Remember to be gentle with yourself and others on your journey.
 
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If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God
. . . and it will be given him—James 1:5


God knows what’s right in every circumstance. We do not. “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death” (Proverbs 14:12). And yet, God installs us as decision-makers nonetheless. He intends us to struggle through, and answer, tough questions throughout our lives: Should I take the job? Should I marry the girl? Am I becoming the man God intends me to become? How should I deal with pain and fear and temptation? Tough questions, indeed. Huge implications.

King Solomon was an epic decision-maker. God told him, “I give you a wise and discerning mind, so that none like you has been before you and none like you shall arise after you” (1 Kings 3:12). Fortunately for the rest of us, Solomon passed along some of that God-given wisdom, in the form of the Book of Proverbs.

For tough questions, Solomon wrote, we must look first to God (Proverbs 3:5-6). One way to do that, since he empowers us as agents of his wisdom, is actually to look to our brothers in Christian community (Proverbs 11:14; James 5:19-20). Wrote Solomon, “a wise man listens to advice” (Proverbs 12:15). Counsel from other men is one of our most powerful tools. We needn’t use it for every question. But, for the toughest ones, we must.
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Okay, so what do we do?

Gather some men—two or three, at least, probably not more than five or six—who know you and with whom you’ll be transparent. Plan for an hour or two. Describe your situation—the question, the background, the possible courses of action. Ask them to discern with you, not to judge. Encourage them to ask questions and help you search for wisdom. I bet you’ll be surprised before the end.
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Love That Bears Fruit



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Love That Bears Fruit












I believe we all want our love to bear fruit.

A Little Context for Love

1 John 4:7-21 says, “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us. Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.”
Notice that the scripture tells us that “God IS love.” Love is not just a characteristic of God; it’s what He is. The Greek word here is agape–the active response of God to His people, and the response He expects us to have toward one another, as we are made in His image and likeness.

A Little Definition of Love

Another well-known passage that deals with love is I Corinthians 13. We’ll concentrate on verses 4-11:
“4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.”

Love and the Law and the Prophets

When Jesus was asked about the greatest commandment, He answered, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and soul (like God, love with all that you are). This is the most important, and the second is equal to it. Love your neighbor as yourself. This sums up the Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 22:36-40). What did Jesus mean by that? The Law and the Prophets referred to the Hebrew scriptures, the core of which is the Ten Commandments. As you have probably heard, the Ten Commandments can be divided into two distinct parts: Commandments 1-3 refer to a mans’ relationship with God; Commandments 4-10 refer to a man’s relationship to man. When Jesus condenses the ten into two, He reveals love at the heart of each one. It’s more about thou shalt than thou shalt not. Thou shalt love!

The Fruit of the Spirit

This is not the only place where we are given the concept of loving our neighbor. There is, of course, the golden rule. Galatians 5:14 says, “For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” Galatians 5 goes on to exhort us to “walk in the Spirit” (vs. 16), because “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other” (vs. 22-26).
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control–that list sounds like the I Corinthians 13 definition of love. Watch:
Love is translated in both passages as agape–that same active love that God has for His people and that He desires from them, and for them to extend to one another that we read in I John!
Joy–Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth (I Cor. 13:6)
Peace–”harmony, lack of strife, seeking the health and welfare of others”–it is not easily angered (I Cor. 13:5).”
Patience–comes with a process over time, as in “where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me” (I Cor. 13:4, 8-11).
Kindness shows compassion and “does not dishonor others,” even when it can (I Cor. 13:4,5)
Goodness–”treats others as the objects of special relationship and affection” and sees only the best in others–keeps no record of wrongs (I Cor. 13:5)
Faithfulness–it’s dependable–“It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails” (I Cor. 13:7-8).
Gentleness–”meek and humble”–” it does not boast, it is not proud”
Self-control–”controlling selfish desires, does not put self first”–not self-seeking (I Cor. 13:5).
Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other – “It does not envy” (I Cor. 13:4)

The Holy Spirit Brings the Fruit

The fruit that is produced in us by life in the Holy Spirit equips us to fulfill the greatest commandment. I think I’ve always known that, but I never realized how specifically the scriptures explain it. Love and fruit–just what every Christian needs. Can you imagine how things would change if we would just begin to cultivate that crop?
God bless you and make you fruitful!
 

Grace After Grace: How Much Grace Is That?​


Jesus embodies all the grace God has for you and me.


John the Beloved says in the Gospel of John, “Jesus represents the fullness of the Father’s grace and truth.”

Jesus is not only a truth teller but a grace giver.

Most of us struggle to give grace and tell others the truth simultaneously, but not Jesus. He is most known for the phrase, “I tell you the truth…” and He is most seen as one who gives grace.

Every relationship that encountered Jesus was given equal opportunity to experience grace and accept the truth. However, many then just as today choose to waste the grace and ignore the truth.

Proverbs 19:3 says, “People ruin their lives by their own foolishness and then are angry at the Lord.”

That’s a convicting verse. How often have you and I ignored the truth of God, wasted the grace of God, and blamed God for the outcome of a situation or circumstances that was provoked or triggered by our poor choices? And yet, God is still a God of grace.


None of us will arrive at the final destination of our lives having lived a perfect life in the eyes of God. We all fall short of the glory of God.

The Gospel of John tells us in John 1:14 that Jesus is the One who is full of God’s grace and truth. All of us are full of something, Jesus is full of grace and truth. He has enough grace to overcome your sins and enough to truth to free you from any deception you have chosen to believe about your life.

All of us have a sin that does so easily beset us, maybe more than one, but The Gospel of John wants us to know that regardless of what we are full of, God’s grace and truth in Jesus, is fuller still.

God wants us to experience His grace and His truth for a lifetime.

I have been a follower of Jesus Christ now for almost 45 years and sometimes I wonder if Jesus gets tired of me and my struggles with sin. I have received Jesus as the grace for my sin. I believe Jesus is the truth to free me from the bonds of sin in this life, but the practicality of my life would often say otherwise. My choices look more like Proverbs 19:3 sometimes and less like Romans 8. Even as a pastor, just hours after telling everyone else what God’s Word says about living for Him, I find myself falling right back into the familiar battles, false beliefs, and discouragement of my own life, circumstances, and relationships.


Where is one to turn as this Romans 7 battle rages in my heart and the practicality of my day-to-day faith walk with Jesus? Maybe you can relate.

As a Pastor, I watch so many give up on their walk with the Lord because they become discouraged by the battle that rages and the victories that seem to remain allusive in their private everyday lives. Where is one to turn in these moments of discouragement? Where is one to turn when you wonder if God is rolling His eyes at you and saying to Himself about you, “Not you again!”

The Gospel of John gives us some hope in the trenches of our discouragement with personal sin. John 1:16 says, For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.” The verse is referring to Jesus, the light of the world, the Word of God made flesh. From Jesus fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. The fullness John is referring to here is the fullness of grace and truth mentioned in John 1:14. God’s grace is greater than your sin and God’s truth is more powerful than the deceptive lies Satan tells every one of us.

There is hope to be found in this for our daily battle with sin. But what does it mean to receive grace upon grace? The Greek construct of this phrase is χάριν ἀντὶ χάριτος. Yes, it can be translated “grace upon grace” but nowhere else in the New Testament does this phrase occur. It is known in Greek as a Hapaxlegomenon, which simply means, it doesn’t occur anywhere else. The word, ἀντὶ can also be translated, “after.”


One of my favorite things to do is go to the beach, plop down in my chair and read a good book while I listen to the waves. Wave after wave after wave crashes into the beach just a few feet away, the rhythm of this sound over time brings incredible peace, hope, and joy to my soul.

This is what John was referring to in John 1:16. God’s grace with truth just keeps crashing the beach of our lives. He has grace after grace after grace, like those waves on the beach shore, his grace never stops. Matter a fact, the writer of Lamentations 3:22 says, “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; 23 they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

Each day, each morning is mercy after mercy. The waves of grace are unending and unlimited!

This is the concept in John 1:16, It is like waves at the ocean. One incredible wave of God’s mercy and grace come upon you and before you can process that, here comes another beautiful wave of God’s goodness and mercy into your life.

After 45 years of walking with Jesus in faith in Him, I am learning to rest in the sound of the waves of God’s grace and accept the truth that washes over me to forgive me of my sin. I hope you find a chair on the beach of your life too and learn to enjoy the sound of God’s waves of grace and the hope that comes from them, because just likes the waves on a beach, His grace just keeps coming, grace after grace!


Blessings,

Pastor Kelly
 

The Comfort and Friendship of Jesus in Our Grief​


Over the four-plus years my beloved wife Nanci faced cancer, there were many good reports and many bad ones. We rode a roller coaster of emotions throughout her three surgeries, three rounds of radiation, and three rounds of chemo.

I vividly remember the day when the doctor said it was now stage-four cancer that had spread to her lungs. That night we prayed together, and then I went downstairs, got on my knees by the couch, buried my face in my hands, and wept. I poured out my heart to God, begging Him to intervene. I did what 1 Peter 5:7 tells us to do: “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” (NIV).

Suddenly I felt a presence beside me. I opened my eyes and saw our Golden Retriever Maggie’s front paws next to my hands. She gave me a look of loving concern, licked my tears, and then made a loud mournful sound she had never made before and never did after. I can only describe it as a groan. It startled me.

I thought immediately of Romans 8 which tells us that we groan, the whole creation groans, and God’s Spirit intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. I realized that three of us were groaning together for Nanci, who we all loved—our God, myself, and our dog. And then I wept more, this time finding great comfort in both my companions.


The God of All Comfort

A year later, I was there when Nanci took her last breath. I felt profoundly sad, yet so privileged to have been her husband and to be there till death did us part. In the over two years now since she relocated to Heaven, her absence has been palpable. I miss her frequent texts about dogs and football and great quotes from Charles Spurgeon and J. I. Packer and others. I miss the sound of her voice and her laughter, always so loud and contagious.

The grief has been difficult. Yet God has been doing a work of grace in my life, bringing me comfort that allows me to go forward without her. (This is greatly helped by the anticipation of one day being with her again in the presence of Jesus!) In Psalm 16:8 David says, “I have set the LORD always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.” To set God before me is to recognize His presence and constant help.

When a child falls off a bike, she doesn’t need her father to say, “Sweetheart, here’s why it happened—given your speed and the weight of this bike, it couldn’t tolerate that sharp turn and…” No. The child simply wants comfort. We don’t need explanations, most of which we wouldn’t understand anyway. We need “God, who comforts the downcast” (2 Corinthians 7:6). Millions of people, including me, attest to the comfort He has brought them in their darkest hours. “…you, LORD, have helped me and comforted me” (Psalm 86:17).


Joni Eareckson Tada and Steve Estes write in When God Weeps,

God, like a father, doesn’t just give advice. He gives himself. He becomes the husband to the grieving widow (Isaiah 54:5). He becomes the comforter to the barren woman (Isaiah 54:1). He becomes the father of the orphaned (Psalm 10:14). He becomes the bridegroom to the single person (Isaiah 62:5). He is the healer to the sick (Exodus 15:26). He is the wonderful counselor to the confused and depressed (Isaiah 9:6).
Paul says, “[The] God of all comfort… comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (2 Corinthians 1:3–4). Often when we are grieving, we think only of receiving comfort, not giving it. There are times in grief when receiving needs to be our sole focus. But when God comforts us, we are enabled to also use that same comfort to console others.

While He pours out His comfort to us directly by a ministry of His Holy Spirit, God is also fond of using other people to comfort us. I have experienced this through my friends and family members. There is great pleasure in both giving and receiving comfort in God’s family. It’s fulfilling to be His instrument, and that’s a source of comfort as well.


The Friendship of Jesus

Jesus says, “No longer do I call you servants…but I have called you friends” (John 15:15). This stunning truth has become a deep daily comfort to me. Ever since I came to know Jesus as a teenager, I’ve had a friendship with Him; but it really hit home when my second best friend, Nanci, was no longer here for me. While other friendships have helped, nothing has meant more to me than the friendship of Jesus. It still does. Every day.

I have never felt closer to Him than I do now. I tell myself that Nanci now lives with her best friend and mine. And I am experiencing and sensing His presence with me every day. At her death, neither of us lost our best friend. He is still with both of us, even though we are not yet reunited.

That Jesus truly is and wants to be our friend is a revolutionary concept to many Christians. True, we should never deny or minimize the fact that we are God’s servants, and that itself is a high calling. But we should simultaneously affirm the wondrous fact that we are His children and friends. God can and does love His servants, but He certainly loves wholeheartedly His children and His friends. And He intends to do His best for us, even when that best takes a different form than we might have chosen.


Dwight L. Moody said, “A rule I have had for years is to treat the Lord Jesus Christ as a personal friend. His is not a creed, a mere doctrine, but it is He Himself we have.”

As we grieve, we find that grief itself is a companion; but our greater companion and closest friend is Jesus. He has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). Jesus is our mentor and best friend, as well as Savior and Lord. Our relationship with Him grows as we spend time with Him—talking and listening to Him. As Oswald Chambers wrote, “The dearest friend on earth is a mere shadow compared to Jesus Christ.”

We Will Behold His Face

Suffering and weeping are real and profound, but for God’s children, they are temporary. One day, grief will end. Forever. Eternal joy is on its way. Jesus, our forever friend, “will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain.” This is the blood-bought promise of Jesus.

In the meantime, when our hearts ache, let’s turn to Jesus, our greatest source of comfort and peace. “This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life” (Psalm 119:50).
 
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If you had faith like a grain of mustard seed—Luke 17:6

We want our lives to matter. We want these few days we spend here to mean something. We want some sort of impact. Well, brother, if we really want impact, we’ve got to allow the amplifying power of the Holy Spirit to work through us—by being willing to act in faith. When we act alone (as we so often do), we do so with our own strength. But when we act in faith, our actions are amplified by the strength of a great and powerful God. Men and women acting in faith have “stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the power of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, were made strong out of weakness, became mighty in war, put foreign armies to flight” (Hebrews 11:33-34).

The surprising thing about acting in faith is that—unlike when we act alone—it’s not our skill, nor our cleverness, that determines the magnitude of impact. When the Apostle Paul worked to start the church in Corinth, he spoke “in weakness and in fear,” lacking “plausible words of wisdom” (1 Corinthians 2:3-4). He must have doubted whether he’d had any impact at all. But the church was established nonetheless. “God’s Spirit and God’s power did it,” through Paul’s seemingly unimpressive actions, taken in faith (1 Corinthians 2:3-5 MSG).
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Okay, so what do we do?

Just do something. Choose something practical, something that fits within the great commandments (Matthew 22:36-39), and something that’s too big. Go ahead and get in over-your-head. Tackle the problem that’s been on your heart. Tell someone about your faith. Help that person who’s hard to love. Things might not turn out as you expect, of course—or with the timing you’d like. Trust, though, if you do act, you’ll begin to have the impact for which you’re meant.
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Dwelling and Watchwords: Choosing a Verse to Guide Your Path​


Before we look at the disciplines of Dwelling in the Word and Watchwords, let me tell you a peculiar story.

In 1989, a man from Philadelphia was browsing a local flea market when he came across a vintage painting of a dark and gloomy country scene in a unique frame. Intrigued, he decided to purchase it for $4. However, after bringing it home and inspecting it more closely, he found himself less impressed. As he prepared to discard both the painting and the frame, he noticed a folded piece of paper, about the size of a business envelope, tucked behind the painting within the frame. Curious, he unfolded the paper and assumed it was an early 19th-century reproduction of the Declaration of Independence. Believing it to hold little value, he kept it more out of curiosity than any expectation of significance.





Later, he would discover that the folded paper behind the painting was what one expert described as an “unspeakably fresh copy” of the Declaration of Independence. It was one of the only copies of the original 1776 printing, the Dunlap Broadside. These copies were authorized reproductions of the Declaration, printed by Philadelphia printer John Dunlap. The copy found by the Philadelphia man, remarkably well-preserved, was eventually sold in 2000 for an astonishing $8.1 million (read more here and here).


Many of us would love to have something in our home—whether inherited or picked up for just a few dollars at a consignment shop—that turns out to be worth millions. In reality, most of us would be content simply making a few thousand dollars off some old junk sitting around, with value we didn’t even realize we had. Imagine what it would be like to have an ugly painting in your house only to discover that something hidden behind it is worth millions.

The Scriptures at times may initially appear simple or unremarkable, but when we take the time to look more closely and reflect, to meditate and dwell in the word, we uncover layers of depth, wisdom, and hidden treasures that hold immeasurable value for our lives and faith. This Lead a Quiet Life blog on Patheos is about leading a quiet life of downward mobility, and nothing helps us discover such a way of living as much as slowing down to hear God’s voice. By dwelling on a key scripture, we embrace simplicity and focus, allowing God’s Word to shape our hearts and guide our actions in a world that often moves too fast.

Finding the Hidden Richness of a Biblical Passage​

Though most of us understand the value of reading the scriptures, we often rush on to the next passage or verse before taking the time to reflect fully and appreciate the richness of the one we’ve just read. Each week, our church worship gatherings focus on new scriptures, moving on from the ones we explored the previous week. Our bible apps provide us with a verse of the day, and our devotionals offer fresh passages to reflect on daily. Learning to sit with a verse day in and day out, reflecting on it moment by moment, allows us to uncover the hidden depth and richness within it. We might even see a scene that initially captivates our eye, gradually revealing itself as an unassuming well of richness and value.


When we invest the time to study a single passage or verse thoroughly, we begin to recognize the many layers of meaning and wisdom it holds. We begin to see the ways it is connected to our lives and other scriptures. Taking the time to sit with a verse for an extended period—whether for months or even a year—can reveal insights and truths that we might otherwise miss, just as a hidden treasure can remain unnoticed until we take the time to examine what’s before us. Such meditation moves scriptures to deeper places in our hearts, minds, and lives.

Dwelling on Scripture: A Biblical Mandate for Reflection​

As the people of God prepared to enter the Promised Land, Moses gathered all of Israel and instructed them to keep the statutes and ordinances he was about to deliver—commands that came directly from God (Deuteronomy 5:1–2, NET). Moses explained that these commandments, statutes, and ordinances were taught to him by the Lord to pass on to the people (Deuteronomy 6:1, NET). For this reason, they were not only worthy of being passed on and lived out but repeatedly studied.

Moses emphasized that these specific scriptures and principles were not only to be obeyed but also to be studied and reflected upon time and time again. He urged the people to keep these commandments at the forefront of their minds, teaching them diligently to their children and discussing them in every aspect of daily life: while sitting at home, walking along the road, lying down at night, and rising in the morning (Deuteronomy 6:6–7).

Moses instructed them to tie these teachings as symbols on their forearms, wear them as reminders on their foreheads, and carve them into the doorframes of their houses and gates (Deuteronomy 6:8–9). In other words, these passages were not just rules to follow but treasures to remember and explore deeply for all their richness and meaning. Moses implored that the people meditate on these words repeatedly because they had the power to guide the Israelites to live rightly with God in the Promised Land. These passages were to be areas of focus in the places they live, work, worship, and play.


Moses urged them to invest the time to study and reflect on these sacred words thoroughly, so they could uncover the many layers of meaning and wisdom within. Moses wanted the people to see how these teachings were deeply connected to their lives and to other truths of the scriptures. By taking the time to sit with these scriptures—teaching them to their children, discussing them daily, and meditating on them in every aspect of life—insights and truths would emerge that might otherwise remain unnoticed. This kind of meditation moves scripture from mere words on a page to truths that dwell deeply in our hearts, shape our minds, and transform our daily lives.

David ushers in the same kind of encouragement for invested study, urging us to delight in the law of the Lord and meditate on it day and night (Psalm 1:2, NET). He openly confesses his own practice of meditating on God’s “precepts” and reflecting on God’s ways continually (Psalm 119:15, 97). Similarly, Paul exhorts the church in Philippi to focus their thoughts on things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable—things worthy of ongoing reflection (Philippians 4:8, NET). Paul also encourages believers to teach and admonish one another with the wisdom of scripture, letting it dwell richly among them (Colossians 3:16). Together, these passages emphasize the importance of saturating our minds and hearts with God’s Word, allowing it to guide and shape our lives, in all of its richness through meditation.


The Moravian Tradition: Embracing the Practice of Watchwords​

The Moravian Church has practiced the tradition of selecting a “Watchword” for the year for several hundred years. As I understand it, this verse is often chosen during the New Year’s Eve Watchnight Gathering, a time when the community reflects on the past year and looks ahead to the new one. The Watchword is prayerfully discerned and serves as a guiding focus for the next 12 months. It seems that these verses are frequently written on cards or prayerfully assigned, providing a spiritual focus and encouragement throughout the year.

These “watchwords” are intended to “help the reader get more closely in touch with God and to meditate upon the Word of God” (see here). They serve as a source of encouragement, guidance, and deeper meaning, inviting believers to reflect on a single verse that fosters greater faith and awareness of God’s presence. It is often recommended to journal daily reflections on the verse, noting how it speaks into your life and shapes your spiritual journey.

Imagine how having a verse for the year, one that you meditate on day and night, might help us to recognize the many layers of meaning and wisdom it holds. We will begin to see the ways it is connected to our lives and other scriptures. I believe that such invested meditation on a “Watchword” or scripture will move its meaning to deeper places in our hearts, minds, and lives.


Psalm 30:11 & 1 These 4:11-12 in my journal.

Blessed by the Journey: My Experience with Key Verses and Watchwords​

A friend of mine, who is a Moravian pastor, was offering on Facebook to prayerfully give “Watchwords” to those who were interested. I was drawn to the intentionality of such a practice and received from her Psalm 30:11 as my “Watchword.” This verse, from a psalm used at the dedication of the temple by David, declares, “Then you turned my lament into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and covered me with joy” (Psalm 30:11, NET).

The moment I received it, I felt a sense of the richness it would bring to me over the next year. Just before she sent it, I had been lamenting the places in my life where I felt I was losing. In reading the passage, I sensed that there was something prophetic in this verse for me. At the same time, I believe it holds the potential to shape new paradigms and patterns within me—creating some kind of healthier neuroplasticity in my thought patterns—especially as I spend time meditating on it throughout the year ahead. I wrote Psalm 30:11 inside the cover of my journal in four versions so that I am forced to wrestle with it. I also printed it and put it on my office desk. It will be a focus in 2025 for me, learning its layers and richness. It’s already enriching me.


Inside my journal’s cover, I also have written four different version of 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12, which also sits on my desk. A few years ago, this verse stood out to me as I was reading it, in such a way that I felt like God was giving me a key verse for a season of my life. Dwelling on that verse has also emerged into this Lead a Quiet Life blog on Patheos, which pursues what it means to lead a quieter life at a slower pace but also to discover a simple life and faith that embraces downward mobility in a chaotic world and church obsessed with excess. The more I have sat with this verse over the last three years, the more I see the layers of meaning and wisdom it holds. I see the way it is connected to my life and other scriptures. This verse is beginning to become part of who I am, as it moves deeper into my heart, mind, and practices. I feel that I am learning to finally live “into” this scripture and all it contains.

Dwelling in the Word: Embracing Scripture as a Communal Practice​

Joan Huyser-Honig at the Calvin Institute of Christian Worship also calls for church communities to sit with a single biblical passage for a year in times of reflection. This practice of “Dwelling in the Word,” she points out, this practice is “a communal way of engaging Scripture that helps people encounter God” and each other. She points out that “change happens over time as people repeatedly listen to and discuss the same passage.” Her article goes on to show how it has led to transformation within many growing church communities. This practice is also embraced by LMC Churches. For those participating in small groups, house churches, or similar gatherings, imagine how enriching it could be to incorporate this discipline into your shared times together.


Embracing the Practice of a Key Verse or Watchword​

To identify a key verse for the year or a specific season of life, I invite you to begin by prayerfully reflecting on your spiritual journey. As you look back over the past months, consider the recurring themes, challenges, or questions that have come up for you. What verses have stood out during your time in Scripture? Is there a passage that seems to resonate with your current circumstances or stirs something deep within you? Pay attention to verses that catch your attention during personal reading, a sermon, or even in a moment of prayer. For me, it’s about learning to listen to the still, small whispers of God, who often speaks through Scripture, inviting us to notice the verses that linger in our hearts.

Once you’ve identified a verse, write it down in several places where you’ll see it daily—on your journal, desk, or even as a lock screen on your phone. Keeping it visible encourages regular meditation. Additionally, practice reading it multiple times throughout the day. Journal about it, wrestle with its meaning and explore different perspectives—perhaps by listening to YouTube sermons on the passage. Ask yourself: What does this verse reveal about God’s character? How does it challenge or comfort me? By doing so, you’ll allow the verse to sink deeper into your heart and mind, leading to greater reflection and spiritual growth. Over time, you will find a deepened understanding of scripture, but also how the scripture begins to cultivate transformation in your life, finding the many layers of richness in a passage or verse. You may also find these resources from the 24-7 Prayer movement to be helpful: How to do Lectio Divinia and How to Pray the Psalms.


A Few Final Words of Encouragement​

The Scriptures, like the story I started with of the flea market painting, may initially appear simple or unremarkable, but when we take the time to look more closely and reflect, we uncover layers of depth, wisdom, and hidden treasures that hold immeasurable value.

There is still a lot of time left in 2025, hear the invitation to embark on this practice of reflecting on a key verse. I encourage you to take time each day to meditate on it, allowing it to shape and guide you. I would love to hear what passages you choose in the comments below. As Psalm 119:105 reminds us, “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path” (NET). Let the verse you choose be the latern on your journey, providing clarity, comfort, and direction as you grow in your relationship with God. May it become a source of strength and wisdom, offering fresh insights for each day and season of life. As you sit with the living scriptures, may you discover new layers of meaning, allowing it to transform you from the inside out. There is a thing of great value living in your house now, too often folded up
 

4 Way a Wife Can Unintentionally Break Her Husband’s Heart​


If a man thinks nothing he does is ever good enough for his wife, it will crush his spirit.


I’m going to make a confession to you that many men will try to deny, but it’s the truth. Here it is…we men get our feelings hurt a lot more than we admit. We are not nearly as tough as we often pretend to be. Wow. I already feel a sense of relief now that this HUGE secret if off my chest!


People create gender stereotypes where women are more “emotional,” but both men and women are emotional beings. Yes, women often are more outwardly demonstrative with their emotional expression while men tend to internalize, but both genders get their feelings hurt at about the same rate.

Sometimes we hurt each other on purpose (which is never justified), but very often in marriage, a husband and wife hurt each other’s feelings by accident. Below are a few examples of the primary ways women unknowingly hurt their husbands. I’d also encourage you to ready my wife Ashley’s article on the 4 Ways a Husband Can Unintentionally Break His Wife’s Heart.

A wife can unknowingly and unintentionally hurt her husband’s feelings when…

  1. She double-checks or corrects his work on simple tasks.
Men gain great pride through the work they accomplish. Even with simple tasks like mowing the yard, most of us guys take great pride in a job well done. When a wife is always checking or correcting a husband’s work around the house or yard, she may think she’s helping him see his blind spots (which she probably is), but this often causes deep frustration and even hurt in the husband. He may not vocalize it, but it can turn into an outburst of frustration in other areas. If a man thinks nothing he does is ever good enough for his wife, it will crush his spirit.

  1. She consistently rejects his sexual advances.
Most men list “Sex” as one of their top two needs in marriage (it’s not anywhere in the top 5 for most women). Since a man’s wife is the only legitimate place where this need should be met, consistent “rejection” not only creates physical frustration, it can also create emotional pain. Because any form of rejection in marriage will eventually cause hurt feelings.

  1. She consistently expresses desire for things the family budget can’t afford.
One of the biggest desires of most men is to be an adequate provider for the needs and wants of his wife and family. When a wife makes comments lamenting the family’s limited resources or how she’d love to buy something far beyond the family’s current budget, even though she usually means no harm, most men will internalize these comments. It makes him think, “I’m a loser. I can’t give my wife what she wants.” It’s okay to want things and work towards having more, but choosing an attitude of contentment and resourcefulness in marriage is key to both spouses feeling and functioning at their best.

  1. She doesn’t say “Thank you” because she assumes he knows he’s appreciated.
According to research from my friend and bestselling author, Shaunti Feldhahn, men desire to hear the phrase “Thank you” even more than they desire to hear, “I love you.” Both genders have a need to feel appreciated, but men tend to link gratitude with respect and they value respect and appreciation in the same way that most women value love and affection. Choose to celebrate the best in him instead of pointing out the worst in him. Say “Thank you” or “I really appreciate all you do for us” to your husband as often as you can and he’ll work hard to keep becoming the husband of your dreams.
 

Do true Christians still sin?​


Quick Answer: Do true Christians still sin? Some wrongly claim that Christians no longer commit sins. However, Scripture is clear that Christians can and do still sin. Our confidence should not be in the illusion of sinless performance but in the forgiveness and righteousness we’ve been given freely by God’s grace.

Diving Deeper: Some Christians claim believers no longer commit sins. Yet, this does not stand up to the scrutiny of Scripture.

Some argue that Romans 5:12-14 means sin was non-existent before the Law. Therefore, since Christians are not under the Law (Romans 6:14), they claim Christians can’t technically sin.

However, the Apostle Paul was not saying sin only exists under the Law. In fact, the same passage says spiritual death reigned from Adam until Moses (Romans 5:14). In addition, Genesis 6:5 tells us that “The Lord saw how great the wickedness of the human race had become on the earth, and that every inclination of the thoughts of the human heart was only evil all the time.” Of course, this pronouncement about the reality of sin occurred long before Moses came down Mount Sinai with the Law.

In sum, Paul’s point in Romans 5 is not that Christians don’t sin, but that the true gravity of sin wasn’t known until the Law came in to highlight it (Romans 7:7).

Others claim that 1 John 3:6-10 suggests that Christians cannot sin because God’s seed remains in them. However, the passage is not speaking of committing sins, but practicing sin as a pattern or lifestyle. NBA players practice basketball to get better at shooting, rebounding, and blocking shots. Similarly, sinners (unbelievers) practice sin to get better at sinning. It’s their pattern and practice. But saints (believers) have a new pattern and a new practice. We are practicing righteousness, and over time we get our minds renewed by God (Romans 12:2) leading to new practices in our attitudes and actions.


We believers do have a new pattern and a new practice now that we are born of God, but we still stumble in many ways (James 3:2). Our confidence should be in the forgiveness and righteousness we have in Jesus Christ, not in the illusion of sinless performance.

Let’s Make It a Conversation!
1. Have you ever heard the false teaching that Christians no longer sin? What did you think of it?
2. What are Paul (in Romans 5) and John (in 1 John 3) really saying? Think pattern and practice.
3. React to this statement: Our confidence should be in the forgiveness and righteousness we have in Christ, not in the illusion of sinless performance.
 

Who Is A “Good Person?”​












New Years Day I was window shopping in a large suburban mall. I saw a new store. I’ve never seen it before. “The Be A Good Person Store.” Think about it for a moment.

The store (and its web site) sells tee shirts, sweatshirts and other clothes that all display the imperative “Be A Good Person.”

Streaming past the store were hundreds of people of many kinds. I wondered what the owners of the store mean by “good person” and what many of the shoppers think “good person” means.

My first thought was and is that “good person” is a pretty vague concept. Sure, if we were to poll many of the people passing by the store or standing by it, we would find some agreement. A good person is surely someone who is kind to others. But what does that even mean?

As a Christian theologian I had another thought: “Good person” means something else to a Christian. Or it ought to. Jesus said that only God is good. And he called his followers to die to themselves in order to gain themselves. I wonder how many of the mall walkers and shoppers think “good person” means dying to self? Or that only God is perfectly good?


There are two major ideas of “good person” in America. (Setting aside minor ideas that exist on the fringes of society.) One is the general, secular idea that identifies a good person by his or her kindness and lawfulness. The other is the Christian idea that identifies a good person by that PLUS by his or her acknowledgement that he or she is NOT really good and that Jesus was the only really, perfectly good (human) person—the model of personal goodness.

The two ideas do not necessarily conflict, but the Christian idea goes beyond the secular idea.

As Christians we believe that it is not possible to be a truly good person simply by being kind, nice, and law-abiding. In fact, we believe being good begins by acknowledging that we are NOT good, at least not in comparison with Jesus, but that we can approach goodness by acknowledging that and by allowing the Holy Spirit to change us into the image of Jesus Christ.

As I contemplated the difference I thought of the late President Jimmy Carter who may or may not have been a good president. But he was a good person in both senses—secular and Christian. He was a kind, caring, compassionate person AND a person who knew he was not good except by God’s grace and with God’s empowering presence in his life.


A key difference between the common, secular idea of personal goodness and the Christian idea lies in the awareness, in the Christian idea, that no one but Jesus is good in and of himself or herself. Whatever goodness we have, the Christian knows and acknowledges, comes from God by grace. We may have a secular, culturally-defined goodness in and of ourselves, by nature or effort (or both), but the “best” goodness, true goodness requires acknowledging that we are not good except by God’s grace and power at work in us.
 

How do I say “no” to sin?​


Quick Answer: How do I say “no” to sin? We believers say “no” to sin by recognizing sinful thoughts do not come from us and that sin has no power over us (Romans 6:11-12). When sinful thoughts or temptations come our way, we can make the conscious decision to count ourselves dead to sin and alive to God. In this way, we express our genuine self (the new self) and we express Jesus at the same time.

Diving Deeper: Saying “no” to sin begins with a solid understanding of who we are in Christ and identifying the true source of sinful desires.

Scripture is clear that anyone who has died spiritually has been freed from sin’s power (Romans 6:7). This death doesn’t occur through rigorous Bible study and the keeping of various spiritual disciplines. This death already occurred when we believed in Jesus.

At salvation, a spiritual surgery took place. God crucified your old sinful self with Jesus, buried it, and raised you up through the resurrection of Jesus (Galatians 2:20; Romans 6:4). Because you are now dead to sin, you are not dominated by its power (Romans 6:2). You are no longer enslaved to sin. You have been enslaved to righteousness (Romans 6:18). Think of it this way: You are allergic to sin and addicted to Jesus!

Paul encourages believers to consider, or reckon, or count themselves dead to sin so that they don’t submit to its lusts (Romans 6:12). Note that the lusts belong to the power of sin, not to the believer. That’s right: Sin has its own desires that are different from your new, righteous desires.


So, the next time you find yourself facing temptation, you can remember those desires are not your own. They are ideas that actually war against you (1 Peter 2:11). You can then make the conscious decision to say “no” to sin and say “yes” to who you truly are!

Let’s Make It a Conversation!
1. How difficult has it been to say no to sin? If you know why, explain.
2. Do you think understanding the true source of sinful desires might help? Why or why not?
3. React to this statement: When a believer says “no” to sin, they’re saying “yes” to who they really are!”
 
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Two Crashes

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Just two days after a Black Hawk helicopter and an American Airlines jet collided near Washington, D.C., a small plane crashed in Philadelphia.
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What do we know about the Philadelphia crash?
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On Friday night, a medical transport plane carrying a six-year-old patient, the child’s mother, two medical personnel, and two pilots crashed near a shopping center shortly after takeoff. Everyone on board was killed; on the ground, one person in a car was killed, and at least 22 others were injured.
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The child had traveled from Tijuana, Mexico, to the U.S. for medical treatment and was headed back home.
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What happened?
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A director from Jet Rescue Air Ambulance, which operated the flight, said there was “absolutely no indication” of issues before takeoff. Investigators have recovered the aircraft’s two engines, but the cockpit voice recorder––commonly called a black box––remains missing.
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Any updates on the other crash?
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Investigators are still determining what led to Wednesday’s deadly collision in D.C., but publicly available data shows the military helicopter was flying above the 200-foot altitude limit meant to keep military and commercial aircraft safely separated.
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Separately, a preliminary FAA report found the Reagan National control tower was understaffed (along with 91% of all air traffic facilities in the U.S.), with one air traffic controller handling two positions when the collision occurred.
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Anything else?
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The political finger-pointing has been fierce in D.C. and on social media. Republicans are (generally) blaming controller shortages on DEI programs, while Democrats are (generally) blaming recent actions by the Trump administration.
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(We’re also covering this story on Thursday in Decaf, The Pour Over for Families. Sign up—for free—here.)

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RADIATE HOPE
Christians don’t need to tune out tragedy or downplay the heaviness of this world to hold onto joy and hope. Our Savior Jesus confronted darkness directly and triumphed over it through his death and resurrection.
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“So you also have sorrow now. But I will see you again. Your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy from you. In that day you will not ask me anything. Truly I tell you, anything you ask the Father in my name, he will give you.… I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. You will have suffering in this world. Be courageous! I have conquered the world.”
John 16:22–23, 33 (CSB)
(read full passage)
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Why are you so afraid? Finding Faith in 2025​


Jesus asked of His disciples, “Why are you so afraid?” They were in the middle of a storm; how else should they feel? The truth is that there will be storms no matter what you do or how you live. Jesus promised his closest friends they would have trouble in this life. But He also promised they would not face those troubles alone. What you believe is the foundation on which you build your thoughts. Faith is the foundation of what you believe. In the first part of this series, I meditated on the type of faith that says “Even if”, which is a faith that prevails despite the circumstances. Faith helps you live a God-honoring life. We need faith to hope, dream, and take our next breath some days. How do we keep our faith when we face storms and dark nights in 2025?


Jesus, Don’t You Care
The story of Jesus and the storm is in the Book of Mark. Mark likes things short and sweet. Compared to the other Gospel writers, he often gives you the action movie, a short version of the story. By chapter four of Mark, Jesus had demonstrated His power. He has healed the sick with a word. After a long day of teaching, Jesus decided they should get on a boat and go to the other side of the sea. He then promptly falls asleep. And a storm comes, and it feels like a rough one. The disciples start feeling like they might die. So someone remembers they have Jesus and then realizes He is still asleep. In a panic, they woke him up and asked,” Don’t you care if we drown?”

If you read the first part of this series, if you haven’t, I highly recommend you do; you remember that the three men had a much different approach to the threat of losing their lives. They stated God will save us, and even if that doesn’t happen, we won’t change how we live. The disciples would have heard that story. Many would have memorized it as part of their education before picking up a trade. Even more so, every year, they would have participated in a meal that reminded them how God saved His people in Egypt. They reminded each other each year that God is a God who saves. Yet, here they are in the midst of a storm, and their reaction is to panic and proclaim themselves likely dead.


Storms​

In 2024, storms rocked my boat. My wife’s cancer diagnosis was definitely at the top. But ever since 2020, I have been relearning how to find my footing in faith. One of the top enemies of faith today is the illusion of being in control. In the United States, you can be whatever you want. You can do whatever you set your mind to. There are no limits as long as you chase after whatever you think will make you happy. But the fact is that having that illusion of control doesn’t bring happiness or peace. Just look around at the stats. We are more anxious, stressed, depressed, and hopeless than any other generation of people. Being told we have the world at our fingertips has made us less capable of coping. The foundation for that belief is sinking sand, and our houses are washed away when the storms come.

Control​

Wanting to be in control or have control is not a new problem. Think back to what the serpent asked of Adam and Eve in the garden: “Don’t you want to be like God?” And so the root of our struggle has always been who will be in control. If God is in control, we have to trust God. Our faith relies on something other than ourselves. But we want our lives free of pain, struggle, and difficulty. We would avoid storms. We would only sail the calm, peaceful water. If nothing else, the pandemic reminded the world that we were not in control. Rich or poor, powerful or unimportant, your life got turned upside down by a virus you could neither control nor eradicate. We thought we were in control of our world. But the bank, the government, the experts, and all the geniuses were caught in the same storm and could do nothing to stop it. Instead, incredibly, the world stopped.


Faith​

We think we want control because then we will have peace. But the reality is that peace is not found by having more or even all of the control. Peace is found by having faith in a God who knows everything and loves us deeply. Submitting to God allows us to have the type of faith the heroes of the Bible, even if or when it doesn’t work out the way we want. Or the way we think it should. Having faith allows us to let go of the unsettling need for control. And when we let go of that need, we suddenly have the capability to do more. With our energy no longer focused on controlling (which we never could anyway), we have opportunities to live as God wants us to.

Cancer​

My wife and I went in for the first appointment with the breast surgeon with a plan. We thought the best approach to get rid of the cancer and end any threat of it coming back would be a double mastectomy. How very controlling of us. Get rid of the problem area, and we don’t have to worry about it. We were about to experience a real-life lesson on how little control we had. Thankfully, the mass was caught super early. So, our surgeon suggested a different approach that would help detect the cancer again if it were to come back. Scientists have learned and made many advances but still can’t predict or control cancer. Doing a double mastectomy wouldn’t keep the cancer from coming back, and when or if it did, it would likely come back in the lymph nodes, and we wouldn’t know until it was far advanced. So, in this case, while it felt like we were taking control by getting rid of the “problem,” we weren’t.


Per the surgeon’s recommendation, my wife had a lumpectomy and radiation. She is currently on the best post-cancer treatment in hopes of reducing the likelihood that it does come back. But even the best treatment only provides a 30% reduction in the chances of cancer returning. No illusion of control here. We walk in faith and trust that we will get through whatever life might bring with God.

Why are you so afraid?​

About a year ago, one of my coworkers asked me a question about this story. And this story keeps coming up again and again, like a sore thumb. Heck, this morning, I showed up to help at a preteen class, and guess what story the lesson was on? You got it, the one with the boat, storm, and Jesus. But back to the question I was asked by my coworker, which was: “How should the disciples respond to the storm?” Remember, Jesus was asleep. After quieting the storm, He asks the disciples a tough question: “Why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith?” From context clues, we can gather that Jesus was unsatisfied with the disciple’s response to the storm. Also, no one, not even the Son of God, likes to be disturbed while napping. So, what would have been the proper response to the storm?


Trust​

God had asked the disciples to get in the boat. If God asks you to get in the boat to get to the other side, you should trust that He will get you there. The disciples have a trust problem. They knew the stories. People were saved from slavery, fiery furnaces, lion’s dens, and armies bent on destruction. They knew the stories, but when their storm hit, those stories seemed to be for others and not them. They should have done their best to take the boat to the other side of the sea. When they had done all they could, they could trust that God would do what was best if God were with them. But this is where it gets a little bit uncomfortable. Because that kind of trust implies an “even if” kind of faith. Even if God doesn’t get us to the other side, I will still trust and follow Him.

Trust helps us realize that we aren’t in control. We like to think and live like we are, but we aren’t. When storms come, we face the same choice the disciples had. Faith is the foundation for believing God is at work and in control. And even when the storms are raging around us, faith reminds us that we are called to trust and hope in God. Think back on all the storms you have made it through. When you do that, your perspective changes. The disciples hadn’t quite understood how to look at the storm. They had heard the stories and even seen Jesus do the miraculous. But they didn’t fully trust yet. They couldn’t see beyond the storm and were overcome by fear.


Bring Your Fish​

So, is the answer to give up and accept your fate? No. The answer is that the disciples should have done what they knew how to do. They knew how to sail and guide the boat during a storm. They should give their best effort to do what needs to be done. Sometimes, we don’t feel like we can do much. When facing the world’s complex problems, we can feel pretty small. The storm looks so big, and our boat is so small. It makes me think of another story. Jesus is speaking publicly, but out in the middle of nowhere. As He finishes his sermon, it’s time to eat. But there were no places to eat, and no one had packed a picnic for thousands. But one kid, his mom, had known he would need lunch. So the disciples, out of frustration likely, brought this one lunch box to Jesus to prove there was nothing to eat. Just a little bread and a measly fish or two. Jesus took that fish and multiplied it beyond their wildest imagination.

Just Keep Swimming​

In life, storm or not, you should do all you can. We aren’t called to be successful; we are called to be faithful. Some days, for me, that is just showing up. I volunteer with my church youth group, and I know that I usually only offer my presence. No easy answers for their struggles and storms, but I can be there and help them see God. They are worth my time and attention and a sacrifice of being elsewhere. My fish and bread are the fact that those around them love them, and, most importantly, God loves them. I show up so that God can multiply my offering beyond my wildest imagination. Even if I don’t get to see it with my eyes, I have faith and know that He is working.


Find Rest​

There is a second option in this story. Once you have done all you can, sometimes the best you can do is rest. Curl up next to Jesus and take a nap. The disciples could see the reality of the storm, but they never accepted the reality of Jesus being asleep. For me, the point of faith is to be able to live a life like Jesus. The whole point of life is to be like Jesus. In 2025, I want to live a life closer to the life that God is calling me to. And so, my challenge (and yours) will be to find a trust that finds peace and rest, even when the storms rage around you. And part of that is finding the right perspective and attitude. After all, attitude is one of the few things you can control in life.

The right perspective helps you see storms for what they are—and not all storms are equal. I pray that God will grant us the wisdom to understand the storms in our lives. Some storms are best left unbothered, even slept through. Some will require us to bring our best and let God do the rest. But in all this, our faith will be in the one who calls us to: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
 
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