In step

[RiverOL]

Philippians 4:13 is Not About Your Life Goals​

Philippians 4:13 is likely one of the most misquoted, misapplied, and misunderstood passages within the New Testament. Suffice it to say, it is not about how one can literally do anything they put their minds to simply because they are in Christ. Paul has a specific context in mind here—and it is not about attaining your personal goals and aspirations, developing a healthy conception of self-worth, nor is it designed to be a coping mechanism to deal with the grit and grime of life. Truthfully, the passage isn’t even about finding the secret of contentment in all things, despite insistence from many that this is the focal point of this passage. This interpretation has more validity to it owing to vv. 11-12, as Paul undoubtedly affirms learning contentment in all circumstances. However, the overarching point of Paul to the Philippians in this passage is not contentment, but one of enduring through suffering, particularly, a suffering brought on through no fault of their own.


The Letter to the Philippians is one of Paul’s epistles written from prison, which means that as he pens this letter, he is chained to a Roman guard waiting for his trial before Caesar (Phil. 1:7, 13-14, 17; Acts 28:16). Under these conditions, the Philippians sought to minister to the apostle by providing for him financially (4:10, 15-18). In his return correspondence, Paul responds with careful consideration toward their generosity, yet with some back-and-forth as he expresses his ability to live within both humble and prosperous times.

In the midst of Paul’s expression of gratitude, he takes the opportunity to encourage his people that Christ Himself is the source of all comfort, hope, and faith. The simple reason why Paul encourages them in this manner is they have been appointed, not only to eternal life, but to suffer for the sake of Christ, which in particular for them means they will experience the same things Paul has (Phil. 1:29-30). To this end, it is likely that Paul is referring not only to being jailed for Christ’s sake, but to enduring through physical persecution (2 Cor. 11:23-27). It is in light of this that Paul then ministers to those in Philippi by highlighting the hope of the gospel, the resurrection, and the object of their faith: Jesus Christ.

This is Paul’s ultimate message, one wherein he resoundingly brings the focus back upon Christ because Christ is the means by which Paul, in his own weaknesses and sufferings, has been strengthened, supported, contented, and caused to remain standing. So too, Christ must be the means by which the Philippians will be strengthened, supported, contented, and remain standing (Phil. 1:27-28).

Thus, Paul’s secret here is not in learning about contentment, but dependence upon the One who is all-sufficient and provides for his every need. In other words, things for Paul do not terminate in finding contentment, they terminate in the fact that to live is Christ and to die is gain (Phil. 1:21). For Paul, his lifeblood is the gospel of Jesus Christ, and this is ultimately the focus of his words when he says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Why? Paul is dealing with the content of what he has said thus far in the letter; dependence upon Christ under any circumstance is what produced contentment in Paul—and yet contentment is not the thing Paul brings to a burning focus for the Philippians. Contentment is the fruit, not the root.

In other words, it was not ultimately contentment which Paul lacked, but that which produces contentment, namely, the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus (Phil. 3:8). It is through this knowledge of Christ that Paul is able to count all things as loss, but notice that it is for the explicit purpose of gaining Christ and being found in Him (v. 8-9). Paul defines being found in Christ as having an alien righteousness that comes through faith in Him (v. 9), again, with a second purpose clause: that Paul might know the Christ and the power of His resurrection and share in His sufferings (v. 10).

What does sharing in Christ’s sufferings look like for the apostle? Conformity to Christ’s death (v. 10)—but see again that it has an explicit purpose found in v. 11, which is that by sharing in Christ’s sufferings, even unto death, he is made to share in Christ’s resurrection from the dead. In other words: Paul’s knowledge of Christ that causes him to count all things as loss is the beautiful gospel of grace itself.

This is what allows him to persevere in the midst of his sufferings with the ultimate prize in mind, which is that he is going to be raised with Christ (v. 12-14). Paul likewise calls them to follow in his example, focusing on their heavenly citizenship and future glorification in Christ (Phil. 3:17-4:1).
This is particularly why Paul urges Euodia and Syntyche to live in harmony in the Lord, and gives the rapid succession of commands in chapter 4 that the Philippians:

• Rejoice in the Lord (v. 4)
• Let your gentle spirit be known to all men (v. 5)
• Be anxious for nothing (v. 6)
• Let your requests be made known (v. 6)
• Dwell on these things (v. 8, speaking of the honorable, right, pure, lovely, etc.)
• Practice these things (v. 9, speaking of everything Paul has taught and modeled)

The result of being found obedient to these commands is twofold: the peace of God will guard their hearts and minds in Christ, and the God of peace Himself will be with them in the midst of their trials (vv. 7, 9). What that means is that their obedience to these commands is what will produce the peace of God in them, and the means by which they will recognize His presence. Paul reassures the Philippians that they can endure through the sufferings to come because Christ Himself is the source of their comfort, hope, and ultimately, their faith. God Himself will take careful measures to protect their hearts and minds, and His presence will be intimately known in the midst of their sufferings. In other words, they won’t be going through persecution alone.

Their God will be in their midst, protecting them, shielding them, and caring for them in a manner that causes them to endure through the fiery trials that await them. For a church that has been promised they will also find themselves in chains, just as Paul has, this is a much needed word of comfort and hope. Couple this with Paul’s continual focus on the empowerment of Christ, the surpassing worth of Christ, the hope of the resurrection, and the call toward faithfulness in all things, both doctrinally and morally—and the letter is incredibly pastoral. Paul is not writing to the church at Philippi due to some grand failure, but to remind them of the incredible joy found in Christ and Christ alone, even in the midst of incredible, forthcoming hardship for His sake.


The thing that is rather sad about focusing on both the ability to do “all things” and “contentment” is that we don’t focus properly on the message of Paul, which is Christ Himself. Not only does emphasizing the “all things” profoundly miss the point of the passage, but it just doesn’t stand the test of basic logic. It isn’t even an adequate application of this passage, because “all things” to Paul here has a specific context, and that context is enduring through suffering for the prize gained through the glorious gospel of our Lord. Even more clearly, they stand to be glorified with Christ, as they too share in His sufferings. Yet equally as sad, though perhaps in a less heinous way, is the focus on learning contentment that is often also presented as the point of this passage. Again, it must be restated: contentment is the fruit, not the root. The root is Jesus Christ.

A rather large focus in this book surrounds the idea that the knowledge of Christ and His great work is the means by which the Christian is able to endure persecution. What that simply means is that a true knowledge of Christ leads to us seeing Him as greater than everything else—even our suffering. A true knowledge of Christ will produce in us the heart attitude that believes all else is to be considered as loss, and that to live is Christ. The one who sees Christ as the preeminent One will actually remain stable in the midst of either incredible prosperity or incredible duress, because their eyes are fixated on the risen Christ Himself (Heb. 12:1-2).

They are not lured away to treasure or trust in wealth, yet neither are they acting as if the sky is falling in the midst of even the most horrendous of circumstances. They are able to say with Paul that they may be, “…hard pressed on all sides, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed” (2 Cor. 4:8-9). Why? Because it is invariably through weakness that the Lord is pleased to show His strength (2 Cor. 12:9). They are content, yet their contentment is born exclusively out of seeing that their “light and momentary” afflictions produces an eternal glory, which is the hope of the resurrection that the gospel of Christ brings (2 Cor. 4:1-5:10).


When we favor an interpretation of this passage that highlights our particular career, fitness, or social and emotional goals, we develop an incredibly diminished view of what this passage teaches. If you would let the context speak for itself, both in its immediate and broader context, you might find an incredibly uplifting and intrinsically pastoral encouragement from the hand of the apostle Paul that directs you to treasuring Christ for His death, burial, and resurrection—and all of the implications of that glorious work for us. Yet the truncated view of this passage will likely continue to stand, unfortunately, to the detriment of people who place their hope once more in something other than Christ, which is the precise opposite of what the passage does.

Incidentally, this is one of the reasons I believe so many Christians struggle greatly in the areas of anxiety, depression, doubt, and so forth; they do not yet see that knowing Christ, specifically in light of the gospel and the hope of the resurrection, is infinitely more valuable than anything else. Read that carefully. It is not saying that one who struggles in these areas does so out of a lack of faith, but rather, a lack of understanding how the gospel and the hope of the resurrection applies to these things. The reason for this is relatively simple: most tend to read the Bible like one might read a horoscope. They view it through the lens of an earthly-minded individualism, where they can chart out various passages and see how they correspond in alignment with one’s current life and trajectory. Or, perhaps they read it like a how-to manual so they might better navigate the circumstances of life they find themselves in.

Don’t get me wrong—the Bible is profound in its depth and application and I firmly believe that we ought to personally apply the Scriptures as we come to understand them, but therein lies the key: we must understand them properly in order to apply them properly. Surely, the adage is true: there is one meaning and many applications. Yet we must also recognize that simply because many applications can be derived from a single text does not imply all applications are equally sound, valid, or even biblical.

The Bible is not interested in giving you unqualified statements; you cannot literally jump over the moon because you’re in Christ. The Bible is not interested in giving you “life verses” to rip out of context because the Bible is not about you. The Bible is not interested in teaching you how to avoid suffering or develop coping mechanisms in order to grit through it. It is, however, interested in teaching us how to embrace suffering for the glory of Christ because it is the means by which we enter His Kingdom.

 

[RiverOL]

How Abraham Was Justified 2,000 Years Before Christ​

How did Jesus’ work on the cross go back 2,000 years to cover Abraham and the other saints in the Old Testament?

Obedience and Faith​

How did Jesus’ work on the cross go back 2,000 years to cover Abraham and the other saints in the Old Testament? Let’s begin with Genesis 22 and Psalm 89. These two chapters have a lot in common. In Genesis 22:12 it says, the angel of the Lord said, “Do not lay your hand on the boy or do anything to him, for now I know that you fear God [or, “are a fearer of God”], seeing you have not withheld your son, your only son, from me,” so Genesis 22 speaks about God’s covenant, but so does Psalm 89.

The former to Abraham and the latter to David, but even David’s covenant was made with Abraham’s in mind as Ethan the Ezrahite writes of David, “My faithfulness and my steadfast love shall be with him, and in my name shall his horn be exalted,” and sounding very much like God’s promise to Abraham, “I have made a covenant with my chosen one; I have sworn to David my servant: ‘I will establish your offspring forever, and build your throne for all generations” (Psalm 89:3-4).

God knew that Abraham believed in God’s promises because he was willing to sacrifice his son, so God said, “I know that you fear God” (Gen 22:12). The author of Hebrews adds, it was “By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac, and he who had received the promises was in the act of offering up his only son” (Heb 11:17). Just as David knew he had an eternal covenant with the Lord, it was “By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going” (Heb 11:8), showing Abraham believed God, and God accounted that to him as righteousness (Gen 15:6). Abraham knew God was faithful and cannot deny His own word. David was just as certain.

Faith and Works​

In writing about works and faith, James asked, “What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him” (James 2:17)? Of course not. That’s a faith that DOA. That faith can’t save anyone. James is not saying we’re saved by works, but works show we are saved. It’s not having faith in faith, but faith in God, but “faith apart from works is dead” (James 2:26).

Abraham, when asked to sacrifice his only son, meaning the son of promise, did all but sacrifice Isaac. Abraham’s faith was so strong he knew God would have to resurrect Isaac in order for His promises to be fulfilled. Abraham “considered that God was able even to raise him from the dead, from which, figuratively speaking, he did receive him back” (Heb 11:19), so Abraham was willing to sacrifice his own son because he believed what God had promised him would surely come to pass.

Promise Fulfilled​

Long after Abraham was gathered unto his people, the children of Abraham knew that “Not one word of all the good promises that the LORD had made to the house of Israel had failed; all came to pass” (Joshua 21:45). Abraham believed God and his works proved he believed God, so both Genesis 22 and Psalm 89 reflect the criteria of God’s sure and certain promises for those that believe in Him. God “said, “By myself I have sworn, declares the LORD, because you have done this and have not withheld your son, I will surely bless you, and I will surely multiply your offspring as the stars of heaven and as the sand that is on the seashore. And your offspring shall possess the gate of his enemies” (Gen 22:17). Joshua lived to see that day and Moses too. God cannot be unfaithful to His own word for He swears by His own Self and there is none greater, since there is no greater Name to swear by than God’s own name.

Justified by Faith​

Justification by faith alone is not new or unique to the New Testament. Abraham was accounted righteous before God because He believed God (Gen 15:6), and there is no more important doctrine in the Bible than being justified by faith. The Apostle Paul wrote that “since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ” (Rom 5:1), and now, there is “no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Rom 8:1).

There is no justification without the Justifier, and there is no salvation without faith in Christ, but even this is a free gift of God (Eph 2:8-9), but our works are evidence of our faith, and even these works were long ago ordained by God (Eph 2:10). We are not saved by works, but a saved person will naturally do works (e.g. Matt 25:35-36), but they don’t do them to be saved; they do them because they are saved. And besides, we do these things for Christ (Matt 25:40), not to be seen by others (Matt 6:1). The doctrinal position of our justification by faith alone in Christ alone is the bedrock of the Christian faith.

To have faith is to believe in or to trust in God. We know that there is no other way to receive eternal life than through our repentance and trust in Jesus Christ (Acts 4:12). That is at the heart of the gospel according to Jesus (Mark 1:14-15). It is by our believing in (trusting in, having faith in) Jesus Christ that we are saved, so it shouldn’t surprise us that without faith, we cannot please God (Heb 11:6).

Conclusion​

After reading the Bible for so long, I’ve seen that obedience typically comes before understanding. I’ve found that true in my own life too. I might not precisely understand what God’s Word tells me to do in some cases, so I must trust the Spirit and yield to His influence. The Spirit might prompt me to do something that I’d not ordinarily do, and even though my own flesh says, “No,” I sense it’s what God wants me to do, and more often than not, I discovered that, in His sovereignty, God had placed me in such a place and time to do just what He willed for me to do. I know that if what I do helps others; if it glorifies God, and it’s revealed in the Word of God, then I must do it, even if I don’t fully understand it at the time.

After reading Jesus’ command to “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you” (Luke 6:27-28), I discovered I can’t do this in my own strength and be sincere about it. It must take God’s Spirit to “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you,” and “pray for those who abuse you.” I don’t believe Abraham completely understood what God was doing by asking him to sacrifice his son, but he did it anyway.

Naturally, that would have been the last thing on earth he wanted, but I also must admit that there are times when I cannot understand why we’re commanded to pray for our enemies, do good to those that hate us, bless those who curse us, and pray for those who abuse us (mostly verbally or by the written word)…but, I did it anyway and do it today. Only later, after doing these things (Luke 6:27-28), did I finally understand what God was saying about Himself and His infinite love (Rom 5:6-10). I just believed God and His Word and did as I was commanded. And not one second have I ever regretted it.

 

[RiverOL]

Be That Guy​ [ 1 min read ★ ]

Humble yourselves . . . under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you—1 Peter 5:6​

Building community in the social context—in the context of our friendships—means reworking existing friendships into authentic friendships. It means dismantling false images, the ones we’ve worked so hard to construct. It means humbling ourselves in front of our friends by showing them our undisguised, unguarded brokenness—our flaws and failures, our mistakes and fears. Hard stuff, no question. What’s even harder, though, is that doing this often requires that we go first. You see, authenticity is counterculture. Look around. Few people live in authentic friendship. And so, when and if we choose to, we’re likely to be out in front, all alone . . . for a time, at least. So why then? Why would we do it? Well, it’s only through authenticity that transformation-to-Christlikeness happens. It certainly doesn’t happen when we’re hiding, impersonating, posturing. It just doesn’t. It’s the way we come into the character of Jesus Christ. And, it’s the way we help our friends to, as well. You see, while very few of us men are willing to go first, most of us will follow those who do: “If he can do it . . .” So, when one of us steels himself and humbles himself, others follow. Going first is, therefore, both holy and heroic. Going first puts us squarely at the front of God’s offensive: healing the brokenhearted and setting the captives free (Luke 4:18).

Okay, so what do we do?​ Someone must go first. Somebody always does. Be courageous. Pray boldly, brother: “If someone must, let it be me.” Among your group of friends, be that guy. It’ll be scary, sure. It might not go really well. But, that’s okay. We men are built for this kind of stuff. We’d wither without opposition. And it’s all worth it. This can be some of the most important work we’ll ever do

 

[RiverOL]

Characteristics Of A Heart For God​

CHARACTERISTICS OF A HEART FOR GOD
King David had a heart for God.
No, he wasn’t perfect by any means. But he loved God and pursued God with his heart. He had a heart for God. How about you? Do you want a heart for God? Do you want to chase after God with the desires, hopes, dreams, and aspirations of your heart?
“What are the characteristics of a person’s life who seeks after God’s heart?”
The prophet Samuel describes the characteristics of a heart for God in 1 Samuel 5:1-6:23…Samuel writes…


1 Samuel 5:1 Then all the tribes of Israel came to David at Hebron and said, “Behold, we are your bone and flesh. 2 In times past, when Saul was king over us, it was you who led out and brought in Israel. And the Lord said to you, ‘You shall be shepherd of my people Israel, and you shall be prince[a] over Israel.’” 3 So all the elders of Israel came to the king at Hebron, and King David made a covenant with them at Hebron before the Lord, and they anointed David king over Israel. 4 David was thirty years old when he began to reign, and he reigned forty years. 5 At Hebron he reigned over Judah seven years and six months, and at Jerusalem he reigned over all Israel and Judah thirty-three years
CHARACTERISTIC. #1: OTHER PEOPLE SEE GOD’S HAND ON YOUR LIFE.


You don’t have to have a formal title for others to see God is using your life for Him. In verse 2 they knew Saul was the formal King but they all knew David was God’s King. They knew he was the one actually leading them not Saul.
You don’t have to have a formal title for others to see God has called you to lead for Him. Others who follow God will see God in you. The people declared in verse 2 what God had said to David about him being their leader, prince, and shepherd.

Rest in this and let God bring to you the title, the formality, the position, the opportunity, the blessing at His appointed time. David was a teenager when he was anointed to be King, but it wasn’t until he was thirty that formally this happened. And he was almost forty before he fully ruled over Israel. The distance between God’s calling and practically God fleshing that out, can be decades. Be patient! Remain a person after God’s own heart and eventually your life will catch up to the words God has spoken over you regarding your calling and purpose in life.

Look at what the Psalmist says about this in Psalm 138:8…
Psalm 138:8 “The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands.”



Be patient, God is at work in you, through you, and for you.

Samuel the prophet continues…
6 And the king and his men went to Jerusalem against the Jebusites, the inhabitants of the land, who said to David, “You will not come in here, but the blind and the lame will ward you off”—thinking, “David cannot come in here.” 7 Nevertheless, David took the stronghold of Zion, that is, the city of David. 8 And David said on that day, “Whoever would strike the Jebusites, let him get up the water shaft to attack ‘the lame and the blind,’ who are hated by David’s soul.” Therefore it is said, “The blind and the lame shall not come into the house.”
So, what’s going on here, because this is kinda of a weird passage. Let me ask you a question before we unpack this passage. Would you rather have confidence or determination? If you could only pick one which would you pick?
Confidence: a feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities.

Determination: firmness of purpose; resoluteness.


The Jebusites were confident David couldn’t break into their fortress. They taunted him. They were confident in their position.
David was determined to get in there. Determination finds a way in the face of confidence. If you are determined, you will eventually figure it out.
Because David’s determination exceeded the Jebusites confidence, he crafted a plan they had never considered. They built a fortress no one could get into. But they needed water to live and David crafted a plan to attack them through a means no one had ever thought of.

CHARACTERISTIC #2: YOUR DETERMINED TO FACE THE IMPOSSIBLE.
And I would add…and eventually breakthrough and figure it out. Don’t give up, don’t give in, and don’t give out and God will do the impossible through you.
9 And David lived in the stronghold and called it the city of David. And David built the city all around from the Millo inward.10 And David became greater and greater, for the Lord, the God of hosts, was with him.
God’s presence determine David’s success. It increased with time.
11 And Hiram king of Tyre sent messengers to David, and cedar trees, also carpenters and masons who built David a house. 12 And David knew that the Lord had established him king over Israel, and that he had exalted his kingdom for the sake of his people Israel.


CHARACTERISTIC #3: YOU REALIZE YOUR SUCCESS COMES FROM GOD.
David knew the Lord had established him and that God had exalted his kingdom.
13 And David took more concubines and wives from Jerusalem, after he came from Hebron, and more sons and daughters were born to David. 14 And these are the names of those who were born to him in Jerusalem: Shammua, Shobab, Nathan, Solomon, 15 Ibhar, Elishua, Nepheg, Japhia, 16 Elishama, Eliada, and Eliphelet.
17 When the Philistines heard that David had been anointed king over Israel, all the Philistines went up to search for David. But David heard of it and went down to the stronghold.
Leading for God puts a target on your back. If you don’t know that yet, you will learn it soon enough.

CHARACTERISTIC #4: GOD’S ENEMIES TRY TO COME AFTER YOU.
18 Now the Philistines had come and spread out in the Valley of Rephaim. 19 And David inquired of the Lord, “Shall I go up against the Philistines? Will you give them into my hand?” And the Lord said to David, “Go up, for I will certainly give the Philistines into your hand.” 20 And David came to Baal-perazim, and David defeated them there. And he said, “The Lord has broken through my enemies before me like a breaking flood.” Therefore the name of that place is called Baal-perazim.[c] 21 And the Philistines left their idols there, and David and his men carried them away.

22 And the Philistines came up yet again and spread out in the Valley of Rephaim. 23 And when David inquired of the Lord, he said, “You shall not go up; go around to their rear, and come against them opposite the balsam trees.
24 And when you hear the sound of marching in the tops of the balsam trees, then rouse yourself, for then the Lord has gone out before you to strike down the army of the Philistines.” 25 And David did as the Lord commanded him, and struck down the Philistines from Geba to Gezer.
David did as the Lord commanded him and struck down the enemy. The key to successful godly leadership is obedience to God’s voice.

CHARACTERISTIC #5: YOU INQUIRE OF GOD AND OBEY.
1 Samuel 6:1 David again gathered all the chosen men of Israel, thirty thousand. 2 And David arose and went with all the people who were with him from Baale-judah to bring up from there the ark of God, which is called by the name of the Lord of hosts who sits enthroned on the cherubim.3 And they carried the ark of God on a new cart and brought it out of the house of Abinadab, which was on the hill. And Uzzah and Ahio,[a] the sons of Abinadab, were driving the new cart, 4 with the ark of God,[b] and Ahio went before the ark.

5 And David and all the house of Israel were celebrating before the Lord, with songs[c] and lyres and harps and tambourines and castanets and cymbals. 6 And when they came to the threshing floor of Nacon, Uzzah put out his hand to the ark of God and took hold of it, for the oxen stumbled. 7 And the anger of the Lord was kindled against Uzzah, and God struck him down there because of his error, and he died there beside the ark of God.8 And David was angry because the Lord had broken out against Uzzah.

David and Israel was celebrating the victories God had given them and this is important, but they crossed a line. Israel knew of the protocol for handling the ark of the covenant and they were lax in dealing with those protocols and it cost Uzzah his life and it made David angry. But we will see, David learned a valuable lesson. Life is not about us. It is about God and His holiness and our treatment of Him as a holy God. In success, we sometimes ignore the sacredness of God’s presence and His standard in our lives. And when that happens, God gets our attention, as He did David. And it might make you angry, for a time, but as time goes on, you realize God has a way in which He wants us to treat Him. This matters, it matters greatly.


12a So David went and brought up the ark of God from the house of Obed-edom to the city of David with rejoicing. 13 And when those who bore the ark of the Lord had gone six steps, he sacrificed an ox and a fattened animal. 14 And David danced before the Lord with all his might. And David was wearing a linen ephod. 15 So David and all the house of Israel brought up the ark of the Lord with shouting and with the sound of the horn.

16 As the ark of the Lord came into the city of David, Michal the daughter of Saul looked out of the window and saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord, and she despised him in her heart. 17 And they brought in the ark of the Lord and set it in its place, inside the tent that David had pitched for it. And David offered burnt offerings and peace offerings before the Lord. 18 And when David had finished offering the burnt offerings and the peace offerings, he blessed the people in the name of the Lord of hosts 19 and distributed among all the people, the whole multitude of Israel, both men and women, a cake of bread, a portion of meat,[e]and a cake of raisins to each one. Then all the people departed, each to his house.

20 And David returned to bless his household. But Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David and said, “How the king of Israel honored himself today, uncovering himself today before the eyes of his servants’ female servants, as one of the vulgar fellows shamelessly uncovers himself!” 21 And David said to Michal, “It was before the Lord, who chose me above your father and above all his house, to appoint me as prince[f] over Israel, the people of the Lord—and I will celebrate before the Lord.
22 I will make myself yet more contemptible than this, and I will be abased in your[g] eyes. But by the female servants of whom you have spoken, by them I shall be held in honor.” 23 And Michal the daughter of Saul had no child to the day of her death.

CHARACTERISTIC #6: YOU MAKE WORSHIP YOUR SUPREME FOCUS.
-Above your ego, your relationships, your image, your dignity, how others view you, you name it, you let go of it and make worship your supreme focus and calling in life.
Jesus says,
Matthew 16:24 24 Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 25 For whoever would save his life[a] will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. 26 For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?

Have you given your soul to Jesus? If so, do you worship Him like you have? Does He get the best of who you are? Do you worship Jesus above everything and everyone else in your life? God wants us to be people after His heart. God wants us to seek Him with all that is within us. Maybe you have never given your life to Jesus and today is the day to say yes to Jesus. Maybe there is something between you and God that needs to be dealt with today, I encourage you to worship Jesus today with all your heart.

 

[RiverOL]

5 Questions That Saved Me From Marrying the Wrong One​

Prior to meeting, courting and marrying my now husband, there were two men whom I thought would one day be my “husband.” I’m immensely grateful that I listened to God when He spoke to my heart and told me not to settle. I almost did but by His grace, I didn’t.


I often see people, women especially, who settle in their relationships. Maybe it’s because they deal with loneliness. Maybe they believe their biological clock is ticking or they simply want to fulfill their need for companionship. Or, hey, maybe they just want to have a little “fun”. I reached a point when I knew God didn’t want me to compromise or settle for less than His best, the perfect partner that aligned with my purpose and destiny.
One day while listening to a message by my then pastor on “unequally yoked relationships,” I found myself reflecting on several questions concerning my current relationship. When I honestly asked myself the following questions I had a hard pill to swallow:

1. Do you find yourself sinning against God now that you’re in a relationship rather than when you were single? (Me: Yup)

1. How often does the person that you’re in a relationship with initiate spiritual things like, prayer, devotions, bible studies, & witnessing? (Me: Ummm.. never) And when you suggests those things, what is their attitude like? (Me: Indifferent pretty much described it)

1. Does the relationship help you grow spiritually? (Me: Nope)

1. What kind of example has your relationship been setting at your church? Does the relationship help others? Has it been a good witness? (Me: ummm… he doesn’t go to church faithfully, not at all really.)

1. If the person knew your walk was being hindered because of the relationship. Do they love God enough to step away from you for a season to allow you to get your walk with God together because that’s most important? (long story short – no)

So there I was forced to face the reality of the relationship I was in. I was in shock and disappointed in myself. I didn’t understand how I ended up in a situation so destructive to my emotional and spiritual health. I had a tough decision to make. Soon after our relationship ended.


Moving on, I was no longer interested in dating someone simply to satisfy my human desire for companionship. As a result to my obedience, my marriage today is everything God promised and I’m happily married to the right one.
Going through this process helped me to realize that there were red flags of a counterfeit guy that I had to look out for.

 

[RiverOL]

3 Truths Behind the “Secret” to a LONG and HAPPY MARRIAGE​

I love talking to couples who’ve been married a long time, and any time I can, I ask them what the “secret” is to their marital longevity. Over the years, Dave and I have learned so much wisdom from these couples, and we want to share what we’ve learned with you. So, here it is. The secret to a long and happy marriage is…

**MAKING A CONSCIOUS CHOICE TO LOVE AND SERVE ONE ANOTHER DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY.**

Sounds fairly simple, right? But, anyone who has been married for any length of time knows that this is much easier said than done. So, when I asked these wise couples how they would practically live this out, there were 3 consistent truths behind the “secret” that kept coming up. Here are 3 truths behind the “secret” to a long and happy marriage (in no particular order):

1. Every marriage will have struggles, so we need to be ready and willing to work through the hard times that will most certainly come our way.

“In this world you will have trouble. But, take heart! I have overcome the world.”

In John 16:33b, Jesus reminds us all that our lives on Earth will have some challenges. But, He also reassures us that we can get through these hard times when we lean on Him and refuse to give up.

This rings true in marriage as well. Even when we are tired and weary, we must lean into one another and work through the struggles we face as a couple–heart-to-heart and hand-in-hand. We aren’t meant to face our struggles alone. Every struggle is OUR struggle in marriage–not his or hers.

Couples who have long and happy marriages aren’t ones who never had a reason to split up; they are the ones who refused to give up on each other when times were hard. And, they sought out and received the help they needed to both make it through AND thrive in their marriage.

2. If our marriage is going to thrive for the long haul, then we must both CHOOSE to love each other even on those days when we struggle to like each other.

My husband, Dave, says this all the time, and there is such wisdom in it. When we’ve chatted with couples who’ve been married for 30 plus years, they all agree that marital longevity has so much to do with the choices we make every day And, one of the most important choices we can make is to love our spouse even on those days when he/she is behaving in such a way that we don’t like. Maybe your spouse is crabby in the morning or stressed out and moody from his/her day at work. Or, maybe he/she hasn’t been super thoughtful lately. Whatever “it” is, we must choose to love him/her through it. And, when we choose to do this, it prevents the issue and frustration from escalating.

I love how Peter reminds us of the power of love in 1Peter 4:8,

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”

If we want to have a long and happy marriage, this is a MUST. It doesn’t mean that we don’t address our spouse’s sin or act like there is no issue between us when there clearly is. It just means that we our LOVE and COMMITMENT lead the way in those tough conversations. We choose to address the problems alongside one another and love each other through it every step of the way.

3. What we do, or don’t do, with and for our spouse on a consistent basis has a direct effect on the longevity and health of our marriage.

When questioning these couples, each and every one of them stated that the “little things” played a BIG role in the health and longevity of their marriage. It doesn’t mean that grand gestures of love aren’t important. However, these couples all agreed that what they did (or did not do) on a consistent basis usually defined the course of each season of their marriage. Read “5 Little Acts of Love that will Make a BIG Difference in your Marriage” for more on this.

One of my favorite couples that we’ve met through our marriage conferences is an elderly couple whose names are Harold and Louise. When we first met them, we noticed the glimmer of love in both of their eyes as Harold pushed Louise in her wheelchair. They shared with us that they’ve been married over sixty years, and when we asked them what the “secret” is, Louise told us a story that I will always hold dear to my heart.

She told us that when they were dating, Harold brought her an “anniversary rose” every single month to celebrate their first date. When they got married, she assumed the roses would stop, but Harold continued to bring her a rose every single month on the anniversary of their first date. He never missed a month. Not one.

As Louise finished the story, her eyes began to well up with tears as she recalled the over 600 roses that Harold had brought her through the years. His eyes began to tear up too as she looked over at him with a smile and grabbed his hand.

Harold and Louise taught Dave and I such an important truth that day that we will never forget: Our consistent acts of love and commitment will ultimately shape our marriage.

So, what are you doing with consistency when it comes to your marriage? Does it bless your spouse and family, or is it having a negative effect? Talk about this your spouse and work together every day to cultivate and shape a thriving marriage that will stand the test of time and be an inspiration to all those around you.

 

[RiverOL]

When is Conflict Okay?​

We spend most of our lives avoiding pain. Anything we can do to sidestep suffering, we will do. The path of least resistance. The path of ease and comfort. Even if it leads to apathy, we want to avoid struggle at all costs.
Conflict is the most awkward kind of suffering. The suffering of relationship. Conflict is the word we use when struggle is no longer solely internal. Conflict is a group activity.
And since it is a kind of suffering, we do our utmost to avoid it.
Yet conflict is not a bad thing. In fact, sometimes it is healthy and necessary. In and of itself, conflict is neither good or bad. It is a neutral entity. How we engage with conflict determines its usefulness; whether it is a net gain or a loss. And the first step toward healthy conflict is recognizing it for what it is worth.

Why We Conflict​

Healthy conflict happens when two values rub against one another. Anytime we feel as though a value has been threatened, conflict is warranted.

This happens in a lot of different ways. Miscommunication is one. We hold our values so close and so dear. Sometimes they are triggered when someone does something. Sometimes we hear things that weren’t said and perceive things unintended.

Yet, a conflict is still warranted. One of the values of conflict is clarity. If we are an part of an organization or a relationship pursuing truth, conflict is inevitable. Whether people mean it or not, we say and do things that hurt each other. Our expectations aren’t met. Our definitions are different. We don’t understand the experiences of others. All of these lead to conflict.

The Value of Conflict​

Conflict can be an aid to all of these ills. We often think of conflict as the unfortunate result of our differences. But it is also the bonding agent of our diversity. Only by coming together – expressing our thoughts, feelings, and ideas – can we move into a deeper and more unified understanding of the truth.



The great destroyer of conflict potential is the power of ME. We want conflict to justify our position. To make us right and punish others for disagreeing. Conflict looses its value when it lacks humility. When we lack the basic understanding that we are on the same team, that we are in this together, our conflict devolves into something destructive.
Although this is pandemic in our world, it doesn’t need to be. Because conflict is also how intimacy develops. It is how we learn and grow. It is how we develop trust and interdependency.

Some of us are obsessed with conflict because we are obsessed with validating our own self and need an antagonist to fight against. This is not about values. This is about pride. It may not even be right to call this conflict. It is more about arrogance, the tantrum of a self-obsessed narcissist. Conflict is about engaging with someone. You should not engage in conflict if you are unwilling to listen.
Conflict is almost always “okay”. The question is whether or not we are going to resolve in a healthy or unhealthy way. Will we use the opportunity of conflict to deepen division or develop strength?

 

[RiverOL]

The Surprising Reason I Got Married​

Of course, I loved him. But I had some other stuff going on that had nothing to do with love. I was ticked. I didn’t know how to let go of hurt and disappointment. I wasn’t aware I had any I needed to go of.
Long story short: My husband was part of the reason for the disappointment and hurt. I thought somehow being married would make all the mad go away. It didn’t. In fact, it made it worse. Now I lived with someone who was a constant reminder of why I was mad. I could be mad all the time.



I’d let hurt and anger dictate the way I’d lived for so long, I no longer recognized it. It was just part of how I lived.
I was more angry with myself than I was with him.
Maybe you know what I’m talking about. Something’s happened to you, and you’re mad at yourself for the decisions you made. Even though you might not have had any control over it. Maybe you’re embarrassed or even ashamed about it.
It affects every part of your life. In addition to your marriage, it affects parenting, sex (especially intimacy), friendships, work. It affects you in ways you may not even realize.

It doesn’t have to be something recent. It could be something that happened when you were a kid or something that happened in a past relationship. Whatever it was, it made you feel bad about yourself and you can’t let it go.
So you hold on. And, that hurt begins to eat you up.
Here’s the problem with holding on to old hurts: They become old hurts with new ones piled on top. Nothing can take a relationship down faster than holding on to stuff. When I’m hurt, I’m not nice. The last thing I’m thinking about is respecting my husband, especially if he somehow contributed to the hurt.

We justify our feelings as “righteous.” But, they’re not.
At some point, I had to make a decision to let go if I wanted to have a healthy marriage. I still have to decide to let go of things that hurt me.

6 Surprising Ways to Let Go of Hurt​

Letting go of past hurts isn’t easy.
Here are useful steps when working through hurt and letting go of resentment.
1. Pray
Tell God how you feel. He’ll understand. Tell Him you’re angry or hurt or lonely. He’ll comfort and reassure you. He may even give you a new attitude towards the situation. He might even make you aware of your contribution to the situation.
2. Forgive yourself
This is harder than it sounds because sometimes when we’re hurt, we blame ourselves a little bit. Maybe we’ve done something to contribute to the situation. So, the madder you are at yourself, the madder you get at other people. Begin with forgiving yourself.
3. Separate yourself
This can be as simple as going into a room alone to pray and think about the situation or taking a walk. Pretend the situation happened to a friend. What would you tell her to do? What would you tell her to do differently?

4. Write about it
Writing is a healthy outlet because you can get your point across without someone interrupting you. Be real. Write about how you feel, why you’re hurt. What you’d like to see happen. Write all the things you’d like to say to your husband—yeah, even the ugly things. After you’ve exhausted your feelings on paper, tear it up. Then write another letter telling him how you feel. Use language that expresses how you feel, not what he did.
5. Talk about it
Start by telling him what you appreciate about him. Tell him you know he didn’t mean to hurt you (and chances are he really didn’t). Then close by acknowledging your contribution to the situation or how you could’ve handled it differently. If he did intend to hurt you, tell him you’re working through forgiving him. Remember you love him. The disagreement or hurt isn’t bigger than your relationship.
6. Hold hands
When I was newly married, someone told me to always hold hands with my husband, even when I’m unhappy with him. Holding hands was difficult for me. It wasn’t modeled for me growing up. But, there’s something about physical touch that softens the heart.
If you can’t let it go on your own, there’s no shame in getting help–a pastor or counselor. When we say “I do,” we relinquish all rights to hold on to stuff. If we’ve made a commitment to God, part of that commitment includes making our marriages the best they can be. Go to the source of all forgiveness: Jesus Christ. He’s the main ingredient in the recipe for letting go.

 

[RiverOL]

The Goodness is Fundamental​

We are awash in goodness, truth, and beauty. All we need do is raise our heads from the muck and see the glory of the Heavens.
You, with every human being on the planet, are created in the image of God and so essentially good and worthy of love. The brokenness in us, in me at least, does not take away from the truth. Things are not as they should be, but the good God came to heal and give us hope for eternity. The essential goodness of creation is compatible with brokenness, but that is hard to see.

If we go to a beautiful beach and pollute that beach with trash, haven’t we spoiled the beauty? If we choose to hate, don’t we ruin our humanity. Isn’t the image of God marred by our choices? How could we then call this present creation good?
Yet the fathers and mothers of Christendom do assert the fundamental goodness of creation. God, being free, did not have to save us, but being good and loving us, God did. This is very good news. If we are imperfect, even very broken, but capable of repair by the good God, then any human is priceless, nobody can be dismissed, ignored, or forgotten.
This is Orthodoxy.
Yet does orthodoxy make sense? Here is one recent critic commenting on my brief post on belief*:

I’m confusion. You’re own holy book say that world was polluted with evil by sin. Your god made everything good, but then humanity corrupted if for not listening to him. So how do Christians think the world is good place? And your statement about being a ‘creationist’ is rather childish. You like being one because it affirm to your faith, not because it the truth or even have any backing from the natural world. That sound less like you’re using reason and using your emotions to back up that statement.

Humanity does not, I do not, merely not listen to God. We do wrong that we know to be wrong. This introduces something into our highly complex, interconnected cosmos that should not be there. Like spilling water on the keyboard of a laptop, the cosmic system, even the parts not soaked in sin, may cease to work as it should. Anyone can look at the world and see that what “is” does not always equal “ought.” The two should be the same, but they are not these same.
The Christian thinks the beach is good and beautiful. We examine history, philosophy, and our hearts and see that God has come and given us the ability to clean the beach. We can be redeemed.

As for being a creationist, that is not due to childishness, but an intuition so basic to humanity that even a child has the impulse. Beauty is more fundamental than ugliness. We can pollute the sky with our light, but the stars are still there. We can fill the sea with plastic, but we are ruining a great good, not adding ugliness to ugliness. This fundamental beauty points to a Creator.

Why?
We see beauty in regions, even weird regions, that no human before our time has seen. Go to the deepest depths of the oceans and we see beauty. Gaze out beyond the stars visible to our unaided eyes and we see beauty. Journey above the clouds and find beauty. We mar, but what is marred can be mended. This is very hopeful and part of the good news of Christianity.


God came in the person of Jesus Christ to make that mending possible. The time is coming, by God’s grace, when all will be made whole.
As for reason and emotions, the two must always go together. To pretend they do not is to fall into one of two traps. If one embraces emotion, live by what you wish, without the check of hard reason, then we end up hitting the hard rocks of reality. If we live by logic, the dictates of reason, but ignore the tugs of our hearts, then we discover an inability to choose between equally reasonable starting points. We do not know whether to choose hope or despair as the starting point of our metaphysic.
See a human: know hope.

---

*Spend enough time on social media, even in a season where you are trying to practice kindness, and you get comments. Some are kind, some not so kind, but all wonderfully interesting. A person can learn, as King David found, from critics as well as friends. The comment is unedited, but as a guy who does not see so well, and has arthritic thumbs, I would suggest not being hard on errors made by someone commenting on the little boxes much of social media gives us.
As one forgiven many a typo, I would extend mercy!

 

[RiverOL]

Time is Money​

One of the most popular sayings in modern culture is “time is money”. We use it to talk about how much we value being busy, being productive, getting things done. We are gluttons for efficiency.
Like most colloquialisms, this saying is communicating something significant about who we are. It is saying a lot about how we operate and how we think.
This particular phrase is a way we communicate our perspective on treasure. Value. What is important. We are saying, on the one hand, that time is important. On the other hand, we are saying that money is important. So, we take out the assumed connector (“importance”) and hold these two things up together, next to one another, like siblings born of the same father.


But how do we perceive these two important siblings to relate to one another?

The Purpose of Value​

One of the things that gets lost in our assessment of value is a predisposition for how it is to be used. So, time is important, sure. So is money. But why and what are we supposed to do with it? These are the kinds of things to which our subconscious has an answer. Too infrequently, do we think about not just what we are saying and what we perceive, but what we really mean by it.

There are two ways to think about the concept “time is money”. The first is this: what is important needs to be preserved. If money is important, I ought to spend my life trying to get more money. If time is important, I ought to try to get more time – live longer, “manage” my time – in short, not waste it.
This has prudency behind it. But can be problematic as well.


Unchecked, this leads to hoarding. We try to collect what is valuable, afraid that sharing it with others is a form of losing it. We become preoccupied with trying to get more. More time. More money. More of what is valuable. When we get some, we put it in a storehouse, not really sure what to do with it. We are sure we don’t want to waste it and that is about all we are sure of.
This is how we get a society that is obsessed with being busy. We are trying to spend our time making money and our money buying us time. It is a vicious cycle, really. A rat race.
The second, and much more healthy way to perceive the value of both money and time is to think of them as opportunities to be stewarded.

If time is important, how I spend it is what matters. We were in Africa once and one of the locals told us about how they perceived time: “there is always more. It is an unlimited resource. What matters is how you spend it.”


This, generally speaking, is not how we view time in the West. We view time as a depleting resource. That is why we hoard it.
The same is true of money.
There is a story in the Bible where a woman is praised by Jesus for giving the few cents she had. Life, ultimately, is not about getting more money; it is about how we spend it. How we use what we have.
Time and money are two of the greatest opportunities we have. The key to life is not to obsess over how to gather, preserve, and hoard as much as we can. He who dies with the biggest storehouse still dies. The key to life is how we use the valuable resources presented to us.

 

[RiverOL]

In Our Trials, God Is Driving Us Toward His Goodness​

I love these thoughts from Abigail Dodds, the author of (A)Typical Woman: Free, Whole, and Called in Christ and a regular contributor to Desiring God:

There’s a scene in the Chronicles of Narnia where the young Shasta and Aravis are being pursued through valleys and over ridges by wicked men. Their horses (Narnian talking horses) were running as fast as they could to get away—or so they thought—until the Great Lion also begins chasing them from close range. Suddenly they discover a new gear—a speed that would have never been known apart from this particular terror.

Have you learned this yet? That what you consider your limits aren’t your limits? That you don’t actually know what your limits are? We think we’ve given our all, we think we have no more to give, but actually, we simply have never had our limits truly tested.
I find great comfort in knowing that when my mind says, “I can’t do that—it’s beyond my limits—I can’t endure that particular loss, I can’t live with that particular trial, I can’t face that certain outcome, God is perfectly capable of applying the kind of pressure that will prove me wrong.
And it’s very counterintuitive that God shows us that we most certainly can do the thing we think we can’t —not merely by encouragement or pouring on the affirmation, but by bearing down and increasing the trial.
Because here’s the truth we miss: His pushing us past our limits is His grace to us just as much as His encouragements are. He’s driving us toward His goodness. He’s pressing us beyond ourselves to new vistas of Himself. And when we’re under the pressure of the Great Lion, never, ever let yourself forget: all His paths are steadfast love. He cares for you.

Joni Eareckson Tada writes in When God Weeps, “Before my paralysis, my hands reached for a lot of wrong things, and my feet took me into some bad places. After my paralysis, tempting choices were scaled down considerably. My particular affliction is divinely hand-tailored expressly for me. Nobody has to suffer ‘transverse spinal lesion at the fourth-fifth cervical’ exactly as I did to be conformed to his image.”
I say this in my book If God Is Good:
God uses suffering to purge sin from our lives, strengthen our commitment to Him, force us to depend on His grace, bind us together with other believers, produce discernment, foster sensitivity, discipline our minds, impart wisdom, stretch our hope, cause us to know Christ better, make us long for truth, lead us to repentance of sin, teach us to give thanks in times of sorrow, increase our faith, and strengthen our character. And once He accomplishes such great things, often we can see that our suffering has been worth it.
God doesn’t simply want us to feel good. He wants us to be good. And very often, the road to being good involves not feeling good.

 

[RiverOL]

Strength in Weakness​

Anyone who has a chronic illness and Christian friends is likely to have heard the words “keep strong!” They are normally well meaning words. And in one sense there is nothing wrong with them. And yet they annoy me a bit each time they are said to me.
Sometimes other people will say something like “Oh you are strong, I admire you. I don’t know how you cope”. I often wish I could take them back to points in the still quite recent past when I was crying into my pillow at night. I wonder if they’d still think I was strong after seeing me there.


In the first example I shared your friend is encouraging you to stay strong. In the second they are praising you for being strong.
And yet most of us with a chronic illness don’t feel strong at all. We feel weak. Increasingly weak. In some cases finding it hard to get out of bed weak. Someone said you don’t know what fatigue is until you have had to take a rest after taking a shower.

This weakness takes many forms. We may feel physically weak in our muscles and stamina. This is a major part of fatigue that strange symptom so common to many with all kinds of chronic illness, yet so hard to explain to those who’ve never had it. It’s not just the same as being tired. Weakness is a major aspect to it.
It’s usually not just physical weekness, it’s mental weakness too. Our brains may find it hard to concentrate. Or in some cases too much stimulation quite literally does our heads in. For some people this results in dreadful headaches which are part of this weakness and fatigue. The brain can feel incredibly weak and vulnerable and as a result mental tasks become impossible to perform adequately.

Emotionally we can feel weak too. The effort of even a normal conversation can bring us close to tears. Dealing with the normal emotional ups and downs of a day may feel overwhelming to some of us as we just feel we need a break.
Spiritually we can even feel weak too. It can be hard to feel close to God when you may struggle to concentrate enough to read the Bible and pray. All kinds of questions about your faith may challenge your relationship with God.
And so if you are feeling so weak in so many ways being told to be strong can be just crushing. Indeed the words I quoted earlier could actually be seen as a bit insensitive to the loss and pain many with chronic illness may well be feeling

And yet.​

God’s word tells us that in Jesus we can be strong even when we are actually weak.​

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-11, New International Version)

There is a way to tap into the Holy Spirit and find a genuine strength inside that can become like a rod of steel in your spiritual backbone.
I have several friends with chronic illnesses, and in some cases severe pain, who are like that. They inspire me greatly.
These friends are weak in many or all of the ways I mentioned. And yet they have an inner strength about them that is quite remarkable. They have a determination and resolve which gets them through their various chronic conditions which are incredibly difficult to cope with. They come across as remarkably strong even though their weakness is also undeniable.

Most of them have learnt to plan their activities around the times they feel stronger than others physically. They have built a life for themselves, which can be very hard if your old life of going out to work and routine has come tumbling down. My friends with chronic illnesses often learn really well the secret of how to be content in all circumstances; no matter how much they have lost compared to the lives they had before.

My friends with chronic illness would often describe themselves as weak. And yet on the inside most are much stronger than many healthy people I’ve met.​

If you ask my Christian friends with such conditions how they are able to be strong whilst still experiencing and acknowledging weakness, they will often simply say that their challenges have drawn them closer to Jesus, that his presence is precious to them, and that far from giving way to feeling sorry for themselves they are full of genuine gratitude to God for all his kindness. Of course the sense of loss does still grab each of them from time to time.
It is in knowing God more intimately that my friends have found that, by being close to him, when you are weak you can become strong in him.
If you are feeling weak today please don’t try and pretend you are strong. Acknowledge that weakness but turn to the one who promised to give us strength even in the middle of our weakness.

I’m going to close this article with an explanation from Spurgeon of the different ways that knowing God gives us strength. As we pray our physical health may not change. Our emotional and mental fragility might remain. We may well remain weak. And yet God strengthens us. Maybe this process is happening with you already. And perhaps if your friend says you seem so strong, it may be this process they are noticing.

Even if you do not have a chronic illness, and do not feel particularly weak, the words of this devotion are still relevant to you. By learning how to build ourselves up in God, snd find strength in him we learn to put deep roots down that give us strength when the storm comes.
Spurgeon was at his finest when he penned the words of this devotion:

Morning and Evening
Morning, August 4
The people that do know their God shall be strong. – Dan 11:32
Every believer understands, that to know God is the highest and best form of knowledge; and this spiritual knowledge is a source of strength to the Christian.
Knowledge strengthens his FAITH. Believers are constantly spoken of in the Scriptures, as being people who are enlightened and taught of the Lord. They are said to “have an anointing from the Holy One,” and it is the Spirit’s peculiar office to lead them into all truth, and all this for the increase and the fostering of their faith.

Knowledge strengthens LOVE, as well as faith. Knowledge opens the door and then through that door we see our Savior! Or, to use another similitude, knowledge paints the portrait of Jesus, and when we see that portrait—then we love Him. We cannot love a Christ whom we do not know, at least, in some degree. If we know but little of the excellences of Jesus—what He has done for us, and what He is doing now—we cannot love Him much. The more we know Him—the more we shall love Him!

Knowledge also strengthens HOPE. How can we hope for a thing—if we do not know of its existence? Hope may be the telescope but until we receive instruction, our ignorance stands in the front of the glass, and we can see nothing whatever; knowledge removes the interposing object, and when we look through the telescope—we discern the glory to be revealed, and anticipate it with joyous confidence.

Knowledge supplies us reasons for PATIENCE. How shall we have patience—unless we know something of the sympathy of Christ, and understand the good which is to come out of the correction which our heavenly Father sends us?
There is not one single grace of the Christian which, under God, will not be fostered and brought to perfection by holy knowledge. How important, then, is it that we should grow not only in grace but in the “knowledge” of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!

 

[RiverOL]

What’s This “Margin” Thing?​ [ 1 min read ★ ]

I am not at ease, nor am I quiet; I have no rest, but trouble comes—Job 3:26​

Men are drawn toward extremes. We’re wired to want to explore the edges of things. Going to extremes can be good, of course. In most situations, though, it’s a hazardous practice. Prevailing culture tells us, “work longer hours;” “sleep less;” “spend more money and stretch to a better lifestyle.” Such messages are harmful and aren’t from God. He didn’t design us to live (for sustained periods, at least) with extreme calendars, extreme finances, extreme approaches to work or physical health, or extreme pastimes/interests. God designed us to have margin. Margin is the amount of time, money, whatever, we hold back—in order to maintain productivity, stability, integrity. “Calendar margin” means reserving time for rest, for solitude, for other people. “Financial margin” means living within our means, even changing our lifestyles, if necessary. “Work margin” means focusing on what we’re made to do, and excluding the things we aren’t. Margin is a gift. While we can convince ourselves that there are valuable things in extremes (more status, more comfort), there are things much more valuable in margin: relationships, restoration, joy, peace. These are vital inputs to healthy, productive lives, and things we must have in sufficient quantities if we’re going to overflow love and provide protection to others. We care for others by caring of ourselves. That’s true masculinity—not some put-on, fear-driven, self-centered counterfeit.

Okay, so what do we do?​ What’s the culture of your city or your workplace? What’s it calling you to? Hurry? Worry? Stress? God’s calling you to a life of “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control” (Galatians 5:22-23). Can you admit you’re built for these, built for margin? Now, can you make the wrenching, practical decisions that’ll conform your life to God’s design, not the world’s? Commit today, brother, to one concrete, measurable change.

 

[RiverOL]

The Beautiful Book in a Beautiful Cosmos with the Beautiful People​

The good Book is beautiful.
The beauty of the Book of Books points us Godward. Beauty always does. The books of the Bible reveal God to us and so are full of literary beauty. There is in truth always great beauty and the beauty of language in the Psalms or John declares the glory of God.

God is beautiful, His creation is beautiful, but sin mars the beauty. Since the Bible tells the truth about the world, not all the stories or language is beautiful. Judges deals with ugly times in the life of Israel and Revelation is written in the choppy Greek of an old man in exile without his scribe who still has something important to say. The messages of the inspired authors reflect the subject matter and the situation of the writer, but the meaning is so powerful that beauty rises, epiphenomenal, out of the text.

Read the text of any Bible book carefully and the beauty will be apparent.
Years of reading the text guided by my friends who are theologians has taught me a simple truth: the revelation of God in the Scriptures speaks of beauty continuously. God declared His creation good. Jesus came and lived a beautiful life. Humans tried to end that life in ugliness, but Christ conquered death in the splendor of Easter. God will restore that creation at the end of time beautifully.

Demonic and human sin can warp, deface, cover up this goodness, this beauty, but not for long. Light pollution covers up the stars, but they burn still. The slightest slip by mechanistic men and the machine glare dims and the Heavens once again declare the glory of God. The creation is an expression of beautiful ideas: mathematics incarnate. The physical creation was made good and if good, beautiful.


Each person in His image is beautiful. Bad cultures cannot see this universal beauty, narrowing their vision to a few preferred “looks.” Sometimes the beauty mental, spiritual, and physical is so great that even the most messed up society sees the beauty and is startled into thought. This recognition could save, but often just leads to mistakes or evils.
The book of Esther begins with a tyrant who thinks someone else’s beauty could belong to him. The books ends with beauty enthroned for herself. Esther saved the Jewish people by her brilliance, but also her beauty. That Esther was beautiful within and without was hard for stupid or evil men in the story. Exceptional physical beauty has often been overpraised, discounted, or viewed with suspicion.

All kinds of beauty cause attraction in the beholder. This can become twisted as the beholder forgets the nature of the beauty. Another person’s beauty does not belong to the beholder, but attraction may cause a selfish person to think that such beauty must be for the beholder. Haman could not cope with Esther. She was physically beautiful, but the beauty was her own and not for him. She was mentally beautiful, but Haman did not know how to deal with such a combination. He was dazzled and defeated by beauty.

The Book, nature, and the body all have their own beauty.
Learning to appreciate beauty appropriately in all three is essential to become fit for Paradise.

 

[RiverOL]

What are the Top 10 Bible Passages that Encourage Us Not to Fear?​

Where do we run to in times of trouble? Believers can find comfort in the timeless words of Scripture. What are the top 10 Bible passages that encourage us not to fear? Based on a recent poll my wife and I took (a democracy of two, but rigged by me!), here are our picks from the Old Testament. See if you agree:

Number 10:​

Psalm 27:1: “The Lord is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?” (NKJV)​

The Davidic writer’s rhetorical questions expect the answer, “No one!” I am reminded of the Shekinah of God, God’s brightness and glory associated with the divine cloud presence, the brightness of which dispels the darkness,* and provides guidance to God’s people during their wilderness journeys, and delivering them from their adversaries (Exodus 13:22; 14:19).

Number 9:​

2 Chronicles 28:20: “…Be strong and courageous and do it. Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed, for the Lord God, even my God, is with you. He will not leave you or forsake you…” (ESV)​

This is a word of encouragement from King David to his son Solomon who will take over the kingdom. This “formula of encouragement” reflects entrance into an office of commission (e.g., Deuteronomy 1:21; Joshua 8:1; 1 Chronicles 22:13).** It is similar to the wording of Moses to Joshua, who is to be the former’s successor and will lead God’s people into victorious battle (Joshua 1:5-9; Deuteronomy 1:5-9).


Solomon will be building the Lord’s temple in Jerusalem. As Israel’s new king he will need wisdom and courage for such a daunting task.
As God was with Solomon in challenging times, so God is with all believers (see Hebrews 13:5-6).

Number 8:​

Psalm 112:7: “He will not fear bad news; his heart is confident, trusting in the Lord” (CSB; Less literally, “They are not afraid of evil tidings; their hearts are firm, secure in the LORD”: NRSV).​

The relevant aspect here is the rumor or report—“news” (shemu‘ah)—which is bad and sounds like the news we ourselves hear and read about daily! The one whose heart trusts in the Lord is identified in this Psalm as a righteous person who fears God and delights in the Lord’s commands (Psalm 112:1–3). The Targum version of the Psalms has this person trusting in the “Memra” of the Lord. This Aramaic term refers to “speech” or “word,” a type of personification of God’s word that often functions as a messenger or manifestation of God and divine power in the Targums. Of course, Christians have noticed the way Memra may be parallel to the Greek term, Logos, which means, “word” and identifies the preincarnate Christ in John 1:1, 14.

Number 7:​

Proverbs 3:24-25: “When you lie down you will not be filled with fear; when you lie down your sleep will be pleasant. You will not be afraid of sudden disaster, or when destruction overtakes the wicked” (NET).​

Contextually speaking, the child or youth in training (“my son”) is instructed to practice sound wisdom and discretion, which will help him live securely. His trust is in the Lord (cf. Prov 3:5-6). Such a person will experience sweet or “pleasant” (weʿorbâ) sleep, free of actual dangers and nightmares. But addicts and the rich are denied refreshing sleep (Proverbs 14:16; Ecclesiastes 5:11–12).***

Number 6:​

2 Kings 6:16: And he said, “Do not fear, for those who are with us are more numerous than who are with them.” (my translation)​

The prophet Elisha says this to his young servant who is afraid because the Syrian army has surrounded their city (Dothan) to capture the prophet. The youth asks in fear, “What will we do?” Elisha then responds accordingly. After these words, the Lord opens the eyes of the youth who sees a mountain full of horses and chariots of fire—God’s army. Elisha prays to the Lord to send temporary blindness on the Syrian army. He then leads them to Samaria where they become helpless before the king of Samaria, who at the request of Elisha, feeds them and then sends them away.


These words are similar to the ones attributed to King Hezekiah, who encourages the people of his city not to be afraid regarding the king of Assyria’s invasion of Judah. He assures them that the Lord God is with them to help them and to fight their battles (2 Chronicles 32:7–8).

Number 5:​

Psalm 56:3-4: When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? (CSB)​

The Psalm reflects a time when David was taken in Gath by the Philistines. This narrative may be reflected in 1 Samuel 21:11–15. The word “when” in Psalm 56:3 is literally yom (“day”) in Hebrew and thus means, “The day I am afraid, I will trust in you.” The Dead Sea Scrolls (4QPsa) and Targum of Psalms render it with “day” also, as does the Septuagint, using the Greek equivalent for “day” (hêmera). The Targum in 56:4 has “In the measure of the justice of God, I will praise his Memra…” (see note on Scripture #8 above).****
The progression of these verses forms a small chiasm: (a) fear (b) trust (c) word (b) trust (a) fear. At the center of the chiasm, the “word” suggests that God’s word of promise is what one must trust to overcome fear.+

Number 4:​

Isaiah 41:10, 13: “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand….For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you” (NIV)​

In reference to the restoration of Israel from exile, the voice of God speaks these words through the prophet. Those who contend against Israel will be confounded. Emphasis on the right hand may suggest the installation of a king. The right hand, often traditionally interpreted as the stronger hand, represents a position of honor and power (cf. Psalm 110:1). Also, when the Lord grasps the right hand of someone, that person is strengthened (cf. Isaiah 45:1; Psalm 73:23).++
In terms of application, this metaphor could evoke the imagery of a parent protecting a child, holding the child’s hand with a firm grip. We notice that the right hand of the Lord holds Israel’s right hand. This is difficult to imagine visually unless the Lord is walking in front of and leading Israel.

Number 3:​

Psalm 46:1-2: “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea” (ESV).​

This psalm is one of several associated with the Korahites, Levites who perform the worship at Jerusalem’s temple. The first-person plurals in the song likely include both the Korahites and the entire Israelite community.
Despite the landscape changing due to natural elements, earthquakes, winds, and waves crashing against it—perhaps a dramatic way of describing great changes one experiences—God is always there, a present help in times of need and distress. The words metaphorically depict God as a place of refuge, a safe place to run to for protection against dangers, catastrophes, and the many trials one faces.

The world might change drastically and violently around the community of the faithful (apply this to now!), but our powerful God is always there for us.
The song ends with the famous words, “Be still and know that I am God”: God is with the faithful and will be exalted among the nations and the earth. “The God of Jacob is our high stronghold” (Psalm 46:10–11 LEB).

Number 2: The Runner-up!​

Psalm 91:5-6: “You will not be afraid of the terror of night, nor of the arrow that flies by day, nor of the plague that stalks in darkness, nor of the pestilence that devastates at noon” (my translation).​

The relevance of this psalm for our present time in 2020 is obvious. The “pestilence psalm” speaks about abiding under the shelter and shadow of El Shaddai (God Almighty) and El Elyon, (the Most High: 91:1). The Lord is a refuge and fortress who delivers from the fowler’s snare and deadly plague (Psalm 91:2-3). The faithful could also place their trust under his “wings” (91:4). The psalm continues that even though many might die near them, those who make the Most High their refuge are comforted to hear that no plague (or “demon” according to the Targum) will come near them (91:7–10).

Different opinions exist on what the “terror of night” in 91:5 might be. These words may imagine a battle invasion by night; we notice that an “arrow” is mentioned in this verse. Rabbinic sources, however, interpreted this terror as a demon who brings disease.+++ Interestingly, both the Targum and Septuagint understand “pestilence” in 91:6 (qṭb) also as a demon. We find the Hebrew word also in Deuteronomy 32:24 and Hosea 13:14.

The word “plague” in 91:6 (dbr) may recall the catastrophes of Egypt during the time of Moses (Exodus 9:15). Significantly, the word is attached to the type of calamities God would heal the land from if God’s people who are called by His name would humble themselves, pray, seek God’s face, and turn from their wicked ways (2 Chronicles 7:13-14).

And Number 1! Drum roll….​

Psalm 23:4: “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me” (KJV)​

Beyond the current and previous pandemics, wars, catastrophes, famines, revolutions, and numerous other calamities, this psalm has stood the test of time to comfort millions. The famous psalm mixes the imagery of sheep being protected by their shepherd, along with David being protected by the Lord (YHWH).
The Targum of Psalm 23 has the Lord feeding his people in the desert, and thus alluding to God protecting and sustaining them during their journeys after being delivered from Egypt. He feeds them manna from heaven (Exodus 14-19; Numbers 11). For the Targum community, the valley of the shadow of death is associated with Israel’s exile as captives of foreign countries such as Babylon and Rome.

In this predicament the people are encouraged through the voice of the psalmist to not fear, because the Lord’s upright staff, a symbol of a shepherd’s guidance and protection of the sheep, comforts them. The Targum adds that the Torah (Moses’s Law) also provides comfort, and the Lord’s Memra (the personification of God’s word) sustains them. They will fear no evil. The Aramaic word for “evil” here (byšh) can also mean “sickness.”


This alternative reading of Psalm 23 emphasizes God comforting God’s people among the nations, sustaining them by his Word, and because of this, they are not fearful of evil or sickness.
Of course, if we wish to apply this passage to ourselves today, it is no promise that those who follow the Lord will never get sick, catch a virus, or have anything bad happen to them. What we could take comfort in is that we do not need to fear such things. The Lord is always with us.

We live in uncertain and frightening times thanks to the COVID-19 pandemic, civil unrest, job insecurities, deceptive media propaganda, deep political divisions, and our own personal changes and trials. May we meditate on biblical passages such as these whenever we worry or feel afraid.

 

[RiverOL]

Encouragement for Parents of Adult Children Who Aren’t Following Christ​

Over the years, I’ve talked to many parents who experience guilt over the struggles of their grown kids. The following are some thoughts I’ve shared from time to time, including with friends who have grown children who aren’t following Christ and making wise decisions.
On this issue, I find great insight and comfort in Isaiah 5:1-7. Here’s the full text:

1 Now I will sing for the one I love
a song about his vineyard:
My beloved had a vineyard
on a rich and fertile hill.

2 He plowed the land, cleared its stones,
and planted it with the best vines.
In the middle he built a watchtower
and carved a winepress in the nearby rocks.

Then he waited for a harvest of sweet grapes,
but the grapes that grew were bitter.
3 Now, you people of Jerusalem and Judah,
you judge between me and my vineyard.

4 What more could I have done for my vineyard
that I have not already done?
When I expected sweet grapes,
why did my vineyard give me bitter grapes?

5 Now let me tell you
what I will do to my vineyard:
I will tear down its hedges
and let it be destroyed.

I will break down its walls
and let the animals trample it.
6 I will make it a wild place
where the vines are not pruned and the ground is not hoed,
a place overgrown with briers and thorns.

I will command the clouds
to drop no rain on it.
7 The nation of Israel is the vineyard of the Lord of Heaven’s Armies.
The people of Judah are his pleasant garden.

He expected a crop of justice,
but instead he found oppression.
He expected to find righteousness,
but instead he heard cries of violence.

Consider that God is the one with the vineyard, which consists of His “children,” the people of Israel, some of whom are true God-followers, some of whom are not. Even among those who love Him there’s a wide variety when it comes to their wisdom in life choices.
If parents are always to be blamed for how their children turn out, then God would have to be blamed for how we all turn out—but according to Scripture, God is blameless (Psalm 18:30).

Isaiah 5 says God planted His vineyard, His children, “on a rich and fertile hill.” He acted intentionally, with forethought (even though, unlike us, He knew the ultimate outcome). We’re told “He plowed the land, cleared its stones, and planted it with the best vines.” Parents invest vast amounts of time and effort in their children. God understands that.

And then, in light of all His efforts and best intentions, God expects a harvest: “Then he waited for a harvest of sweet grapes, but the grapes that grew were bitter.” It’s hard to conceive of an all-powerful and all-knowing God being disappointed, but this is the language of disappointment.
This passage touches me like Hebrews 4:15-16, in terms of saying to my heart, “God understands. He gets it. He knows what I’m going through—in fact, He’s actually gone through it.” Listen to Scripture;

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tested in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

Back to Isaiah 5, God then asks His people to judge for themselves: “What more could I have done for my vineyard that I have not already done?” Now we always know we could have done more for our children, and we could have done it better, and of course that’s always true. But surely we should find comfort in the fact that God, who can do no wrong, says He did enough for His children that as their Father He had the right to expect a better outcome in terms of their character, wisdom, and heart.

God asks, even knowing the answer that we ourselves seldom understand, “When I expected sweet grapes, why did my vineyard give me bitter grapes?”
The final three verses show God bringing judgment, and that may seem hard to us. We’re not God, the Creator of our children, and we are not their judges, and lack the wisdom and power to do as God does. Yet we too could take to heart at the very least the consideration that loving them may involve no longer being their enablers in what is hurting them and their children (our grandchildren). (Desiring God has a helpful article on “12 Ways to Love Your Wayward Child.”)

Certainly we can take comfort in the fact that as long as our children are still alive, God is not done with them. The dark paths that are the result of their unwise and rebellious choices can ultimately be used by God to disillusion them with the world and themselves, and one day draw them back to Him. We can’t be certain what they’ll choose or what God will do, and often we don’t understand why He doesn’t just “make them” follow Him (that’s the supposed dilemma between God’s sovereignty and meaningful human choice, which are two co-existing realities). But meanwhile, there is great consolation in knowing God loves our children even more than we do. (I should add that even if they have tragically died, we don’t know what our God of sovereign grace might have done in their hearts just before they left this world.)

 

[RiverOL]

How I Learned to Shift My Perspective From Saint to Sinner in Need of Grace​

​

One Sunday at church, my husband was doing a sermon on perspective. During the sermon, he wanted us to see ourselves as God sees us. That week was communion, so as part of the communion experience, He placed a mirror in front of the bread and juice. As each person came up to receive communion, he challenged us to take a moment to look at ourselves in the mirror. He asked us to ask ourselves, "What do you see when we look in the mirror? Ask the Lord to reveal to you what he sees when he sees you."

As someone who is an introvert, this was tough. I am notorious for seeing the negative rather than the positive. When I went to get the elements, I looked in the mirror. The enemy took it as an opportunity to bring out my inadequacies and whisper lies. "You are a disappointment." "You are a failure. You'll never measure up for God to use you," was what I initially thought. But then I realized that was not how God saw me. "I love you," "You were made for a purpose." "I shed my blood for you" was what the Lord replaced those negative thoughts with.

Mirrors are a reflection of our reality. We can tell ourselves we look a certain way, but the mirror doesn't lie. If we use one of those magnifying mirrors, it can be even worse! If we're honest, we don't always like what we see in the mirror. One side of this mirror magnifies everything. The other side sees things as they are with no magnification. When I look at myself in a mirror, I immediately see my flaws- bags under the eyes, wrinkles, and imperfections in color.

On this side of the mirror, I wrote down some of the lies I believed. I have written "unlovable," unaccepted, unworthy, failure." When I saw myself in the mirror in church that day, I immediately began to see those lies within the distorted reality of what I had done. If we're having a bad hair day or notice our skin is not as flawless as it once was, it's easy to get down on ourselves. Because we don't like our reality, Satan can use it as an opportunity to feed us lies. If we don't check those lies against the truth of Scripture, it can distort our reality. We must see ourselves as we truly are, not through a distorted reality.



In Luke 7:36-50, Jesus is at a Pharisees' house. They are engaging in idle chit-chat. Maybe they are laughing, enjoying their time together. Then suddenly, a woman appears. No words, no explanation. Just sobbing. And the touch of her hair on his feet: "When one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, he went to the Pharisee's house and reclined at the table. A woman in that town who lived a sinful life learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, so she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume.

As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them, and poured perfume on them. When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, "If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner." Jesus answered him, "Simon, I have something to tell you."

Jesus then tells Simon a parable about two people who owe a moneylender. One owes significantly less than the other, yet both debts are forgiven. Then Jesus asks Simon which debtor loves the moneylender more. Simon rightly states the man with more debt. "You have judged correctly," Jesus said. Then, he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I came into your house.

You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little."

Simon saw the woman as a sinner and himself as a saint. He thinks his sin is insignificant because he's an expert in the law. Yet, the woman identifies her sin and sees herself as a sinner in need of Jesus' forgiveness and love. It's easy to see ourselves as saints who don't need Jesus' love and grace; we sometimes take our relationship with Jesus for granted.
Here are three ways to shift our perspective from a saint to a sinner saved by God's grace:

1. See ourselves as people who need Jesus.​

We need Jesus' grace and mercy every day! During your quiet time, be sure to confess your sins regularly. When we allow the Holy Spirit to reveal our sins, we can come to God with a posture of humility rather than pride. When we experience God's grace, it's easier to shift our perspective from pride to humility.

2. See others in the same way.​

We need to treat others with love and forgiveness, as we have been forgiven and loved. When we see ourselves in need of grace and forgiveness, it is easy for us to see others in that same light. We cannot claim to love Jesus and not forgive our brothers and sisters. When we see our lives daily through the lens of sinners saved by God's grace rather than a saint who doesn't need God's grace, it's easier to grant that same love and forgiveness to others. We live what we learn. When we are free from our sin, we want to give that to others (even if the offense is heinous.)

3. Participate in behaviors that allow you to see clearly.​

Matthew 7:3-5 says, "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."

Do what you can to remove your plank. Forgive when necessary. Reconcile with a difficult brother or sister in Christ. Extend kindness, goodness, and the other fruits of the Spirit when necessary. Not only will we give God glory, but we will also become more Christlike in the process.
It's easy to see ourselves with the wrong perspective when things are going well. But when life is crumbling around us, we cling to God. When we experience the goodness of God, we can switch our perspective from one of a saint filled with pride to one of a sinner in need of God's grace.

 

[RiverOL]

Valuing the Word​

If it is true that the Bible is God’s Word, how come we give so little attention to the Bible? And if we do give so little attention to it, why are we surprised that we have so little grasp of the truth?



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A recent news article tells the story of a woman called Sharifa Muhando, who was caught reading her Bible by her Muslim husband. Disturbed by her devotion to the Word, he denied her food and then left her in a national park with wild animals in Western Uganda.
Stories like these make us wonder how much those of us who are not liable to be persecuted for reading the Bible value God’s Word.
According to Lifeway Research, while most Americans have a positive view of the Bible, more than half hardly ever read it. A third of Americans never pick the Bible up on their own.

If it is true that the Bible is God’s Word. If it is true that the universe was created by his Word. If it is true that all Scripture is God-breathed and useful for teaching, rebuking, and correcting in righteousness that the man of God may be equipped for every good work (2 Timothy 3:16-17).
If all this is true, how come we give so little attention to the Bible? And if we do give so little attention to it, why are we surprised that we have so little grasp of the truth?
The ancient Christian leader Jerome once said, “Let sleep find you holding the Bible, and when your head nods let it be resting on the sacred page.” Assuming we are convinced in theory that we should give attention to God’s Word, how are we to do so in practice?

1. Plan​

It is said that those who fail to plan, plan to fail. Little happens in life unless it is deliberate. Certainly, adventure and excitement occur in the spontaneous. Don’t hear me downplaying fun.



But while the fun must be there, the reality is that most of our lives are so busy (or so distracted) that if we do not plan to read the Bible, our Bible reading will be, at best, haphazard.

2. Pray​

When people ask me about how to have regular devotional times with God, I am sometimes tempted to tell them never to do another devotion again. I don’t “do devotions.” I ask God to speak to me through his Word.

There is an excitement, reality, and relational vigor to the wonder of being able to hear from God. It begins with prayer. “Lord, what do you have to say to me today?”

3. Perceive​

The Sword of the Spirit is the Word of God (Ephesians 6:17), and reading the Bible is enlivened by the Spirit of God, who breathed out his Word.
There is a spiritual dynamic to reading the Bible. I once heard that Billy Graham would say that he kept on reading the Bible until the Holy Spirit underlined what it was that he wanted him to hear.

4. Practice​

While listening to God’s Word is listening to God and therefore is a spiritual exercise, it is not all subjective.
There is an art and skill to reading the Bible well. It takes time to develop. There are wrong interpretations of the Bible as well as right ones. Context is a key tool.
As is learning to spot the different types of literature (sometimes called “genres”) in which the Bible is written. There are many online tools that can help you develop skills as a reader of the Bible. But practice is key.

5. Pride​

Pride or lack of it. We need to come to God’s Word with humble hearts, ready to hear what it is that God wants to say to us. Ready to be corrected. Not judging God’s Word by our preferences but letting our preferences be shaped by God’s Word.
Probably the greatest reason why we give less attention to the Bible than we should is because we don’t want to hear what it is that God is actually saying to us.
But what a mistake! For the humble and contrite, he offers grace and favor and love and peace and joy! Come to him!

 

[RiverOL]

6 Tips for Time Management​

Time is something in which everyone has the same amount. We all get the same number of hours to spend. But it is how we spend our time that matters most. How we spend our time is a choice. We can waste our time doing things of insignificance or spend our time doing things that will accomplish the work of God's Kingdom. As a type A personality, I spend my time wisely.

Although not every minute is dedicated to something extraordinary, I spend most of my time completing tasks that aren't only others-centered but also fulfill my purpose as a follower of Christ. The key to good time management is priorities. By prioritizing the bulk of my time and utilizing the hours where I am the sharpest, I can get a lot done during the day and still have time for meaningful relationships in the evening. Randy Frazee, author of the book, Making Room for Life, believes that by simply utilizing the 12-hour workday model, you can get all of the important tasks in life done and still have time for recreation, relaxation, and community. Unfortunately, we waste some of our most precious hours doing things for entertainment or relaxation rather than productivity. Because of our procrastination, we can often spend time trying to catch up or complete tasks at the very last minute, which demonstrates mixed-up priorities.

If you are someone who struggles with procrastination, there's hope. Frazee posits that we can accomplish all our work within a 12-hour window. This may require us to get up earlier, but it will leave more room in the evening for family time and activities. Frazee believes if we get up at 6:00 AM and end our day at 6:00 PM, we utilize 12 hours to the best of our abilities. We will be able to have time to spend in meaningful relationship with others, enjoy hobbies and other tasks that will help us rest and get prepared for the next day. I use this model, and it helps tremendously with my level of productivity. There are a few keys I believe are essential to managing time wisely. Here are five ways I manage my time effectively:

First, I make a to-do-list.​

When I don't have a specific plan for my day, I often spend more time on social media and surfing the Internet rather than being productive. Although I do get most of my work done within a given week, I must make sure I plan how to use my time. The saying is true, "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail." Jesus was close to his father while on earth. He allowed his father to guide him where he should go to complete his work: healing the sick, casting out demons, and making disciples.

Second, I prioritized my time.​

For example, if I have a list of five things to complete by the end of the day, I usually tackle the most difficult or undesirable task first. There is a great sense of accomplishment when I complete a task that feels like a chore to me. When I use my time to accomplish something I don't want to do, it makes more room in my day for me to complete the things I do want to do. Even if I have to work late to accomplish my tasks, it makes me feel like I'm a good steward of my time, which in turn gives glory to God.

Third, I could have distractions.​

Although I do my best writing with some sort of background noise—TV, radio, or sound machine—, I can't read with the same distractions. Identifying how I work best does wonders for my productivity. I don't force myself to work in a silent environment unless necessary. I put my air pods in and listen to my favorite type of music, or sometimes I'll have a TV show on that I've seen before. If it's a TV show I have not seen before, my mind will become more focused on watching the TV than on my work. However, if it's something I've seen before, I know what comes next, allowing me to focus on my writing. Although this method does not work for everyone, identifying the best methods increases my productivity level and my satisfaction with my work.

Fourth, I practiced the 7th.​

Although the Sabbath seems counterintuitive to the concept of time, they actually go hand in hand. If I want to be extra productive the following week, I must give myself the rest that I need for at least 24 hours so I can be refreshed and ready to conquer my to-do- list on Monday morning. If my weekend has been dedicated to other activities or work, I spend my Mondays foolishly. This puts me behind for the rest of the week. Because writing articles is a very mentally taxing task, I work hard to get my articles written, edited, and forwarded to the proper people. When I complete my articles earlier than expected, I can make room in my schedule for other non-work-related tasks such as cleaning, cooking, and spending time with my friends and family the rest of the week. Work and rest go hand in hand. If I have not practiced the art of rest, I'm doing myself and others a great disservice.

Fifth, I have learned to make Mondays my friend rather than my enemy.​

Although it feels the weekends go by too fast, I know that I work best at the beginning of the week and feel more tired by the end of the week. This makes the most of my Mondays through Wednesdays, getting the most amount of work done. Sometimes I finish early, which gives me an extra day to rest and practice self-care. Rest doesn't always mean observing Sabbath or taking a vacation. Sometimes I need mental rest, emotional rest, or creative rest. When I take time to rest in these areas, I increase my sharpness, and my mental focus is clearer.

Sixth, I celebrate the small wins.​

I do something for myself if I have completed an enormous task (like submitting a large manuscript or editing a big project). I read a book, get a massage, or do a little shopping. My life could be consumed with work if I'm not careful. However, life is to be enjoyed. By accomplishing a task that seems interesting and insurmountable, I reward myself with something, a unique experience, special treat, or an item I've been wanting. This pushes me to complete my tasks promptly and with excellence. Sometimes those hours are hard as I sludge through an enormous task, but nothing beats the feeling of accomplishing something with God's guidance and help. I believe it gives God glory when we use our work as an act of worship.

Time is a gift. As with any gift, if we waste our time frivolously or don't use our time to do the things God wants us to do, we can force ourselves to use our Sabbath or other free time to make up for the lost time. This leaves us in a state of fatigue, which makes this out of rhythm with God. If we can utilize 12 hours of our day in productivity, observe the Sabbath every week, make priorities, and tackle the most difficult tasks first, we can demonstrate we are good stewards of our time.

 

[RiverOL]

The 2 Things Missing from Motherhood Today​

There are lots of us mommies out there, and yet we can feel so alone in our mothering. Why is that?

I think most of us are afraid. We’re scared that we are the only one whose kid isn’t hitting the milestone. We hide our face and cringe as our children seem to be the only kids who don’t sit quietly in the shopping cart while we shop for groceries. We cry alone in our pantries and tell ourselves that we aren’t cut out to be good moms, and then we dry our eyes and put on a smile for the friends coming over for dinner. When asked if we are okay, we’ll say “Yes”, but inside our hearts, we know that’s not the truth and wonder if we’re the only mom who is struggling.

The truth is none of us is the “only mom”, but we’re too afraid and embarrassed to admit it. So, we continue to play the game. We continue to put on the smile and act like we’ve got it all together when we’re falling apart inside and questioning every decision we make as a mom. We refuse to tell our friends the honest truth that being a mom is so much harder than we ever thought it would be, and some days, we feel like we’re losing our marbles and question our ability to effectively parent our rambunctious kiddos. Read “Confessions of a Crazy Mom” for more on this.

Something is missing in motherhood as a whole. There needs to be a sisterhood among mothers, and there are two things that can bridge this gap:
HONESTY and AUTHENTICITY.
We need more of this in our lives, Sweet Mamas. We might read and even share some blogs on Facebook and Pinterest about the crazy days of motherhood. But, when it comes to our own lives, we often refuse to open up about our struggle to other moms, because we don’t want to be judged. And, this holds us back from truly embracing and even celebrating the amazing journey of motherhood…with all its highs and lows.

What if we stopped acting like our kids are perfect, and instead, we owned up to the fact that our little angels are quite frankly hard to deal with at times? Instead of killing ourselves and our relationship with our kids over trying to appear like the “perfect family,” lets embrace our strengths and own up to our weaknesses. This doesn’t mean we’re going to settle for mediocrity or fail to set high expectations; it just means that we’re going to stop beating ourselves up because we feel like failures all the time. Read “To the mom or dad who feels like a failure today,” for more on this. It means we are going to stop comparing ourselves and our kiddos to a non-existent ideal.

Let’s not be Stepford wives and moms…seemingly strong, beautiful, and perfect, but truly fragile and even empty inside.
Instead, let’s embrace our authentic and honest motherhood experience.
It’s messy, crazy, exciting, wonderful, laughable, frustrating, tiring, and so much more all rolled into one. It’s sticky hands, clogged toilets, dances in the rain, goose eggs on the forehead, and lots of tickles. It’s bringing home a bad report card but making the winning touchdown on the same day. It’s teenage angst mixed with heartfelt conversations over dinner. It’s eating breakfast together and laughing until milk pours out your nostrils. It’s your toddler spilling his drink for the 4,557th time. It’s terrifyingly magical and magnificent. It’s exhausting in the best way. It’s…an ongoing, work in progress kind of calling like nothing else on Earth.

That’s real motherhood.
Sweet Mama, you are not the only one. Every mom experiences struggles and triumphs. It’s part of the beautiful calling of motherhood. Stop listening to the lie that you are not enough. When God brought your precious kiddos into your life, He equipped you in every way. This doesn’t mean you aren’t going to make mistakes or that your children will never disrespect you. But, it does mean that with God’s help, you will fulfill your calling as a mama.

Let’s stop being afraid that we’re the “only mom who…”. We don’t play that game anymore, Sweet Mama. It’s one we will lose every time. The next time we start to doubt ourselves or wonder if we’re all alone in our struggle as a mother, let’s pick up the phone, call a fellow mom friend, and have an open and honest conversation. Authenticity and honesty among friends gives us perspective and the hope to carry on.