In step

RiverOL · Dec 19, 2022

Bible Verses To Help You Spot Apostasy Or Heresies

It’s getting more difficult to spot apostasy and heresies but these Bible verses should help.

Growing Apostasy

Since apostasy seems to be on the increase and false teachers are even more deceptive, how might we recognize it when we see, hear, or read it? The Bible and the Holy Spirit are our greatest weapons in discerning the false from the true and the satanic teachers from the biblically sound teachers. One man comes to mind when I think of biblically sound. It’s the late Dr. J. Vernon McGee and his Through the Bible Ministries. This man takes us through the Bible in five years, expositing the Scriptures verse by verse.

This guarantees the proper context of Scripture, but false teachers rip texts out of context to create a false pretext, and millions are being deceived. To claim one verse as a proof text is like taking one line out of a book and declaring it as being reflective of the author’s thinking. This is why the Apostle Paul warned us that there were “false brothers secretly brought in—who slipped in to spy out our freedom that we have in Christ Jesus, so that they might bring us into slavery— to them we did not yield in submission even for a moment, so that the truth of the gospel might be preserved for you” (Gal 2:4-5).

These satanic teachers want to make the gospel an equation like this: Jesus + something = salvation, when it is truly Christ alone which saves (Acts 4:12). Paul was spot on by writing that “the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths” (2 Tim 4:3-4). I believe that time has come.

Prophesied to Come

Even before Jesus’ earthly ministry was completed, He warned that “false christs and false prophets will arise and perform great signs and wonders, so as to lead astray, if possible, even the elect. See, I have told you beforehand” (Matt 24:24-25). So too did the Apostle Peter know it was coming, writing that “false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing upon themselves swift destruction.

And many will follow their sensuality, and because of them the way of truth will be blasphemed” (2 Pet 2:1-2). The Apostle Paul knew this was coming, perhaps receiving this knowledge as a direct revelation from the Spirit, writing that “the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and teachings of demons, through the insincerity of liars whose consciences are seared” (1 Tim 4:1-2). These “later times” have arrived. That’s why Jude had to write his epistle.

He was already contending for the faith once delivered in his own life time. Jude wrote, “Beloved, although I was very eager to write to you about our common salvation, I found it necessary to write appealing to you to contend for the faith that was once for all delivered to the saints. For certain people have crept in unnoticed who long ago were designated for this condemnation, ungodly people, who pervert the grace of our God into sensuality and deny our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ” (Jude 1:3-4). Jude intended to write about their salvation, but something more pressing came along. It was a perverted gospel being subtly brought in. Notice they “have crept in unnoticed.” Obviously, if they’d been noticed, they’d have been put out of the church, so that’s how deceptive they are.

A Different Gospel

Any gospel that does not include the need for repentance and faith, the very same gospel Jesus Christ introduced (Mark 1:15), is no gospel at all. This is the very reason Paul wrote that “even if we or an angel from heaven should preach to you a gospel contrary to the one we preached to you, let him be accursed. As we have said before, so now I say again: If anyone is preaching to you a gospel contrary to the one you received, let him be accursed” (Gal 1:8-9).

In many cases, it was that way in ancient Judah, where “Both prophet and priest are ungodly; even in my house I have found their evil, declares the LORD” (Jer 23:11). It had become so bad in society that the true prophets were imprisoned or killed and the false prophets were prophesying that all was good and that there was a bright future for Israel when actually impending destruction was coming.

God says woe to those “who justifies the wicked and he who condemns the righteous are both alike an abomination to the LORD” (Prov 17:15), and even worse, “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter” (Isaiah 5:20)! Heresies can sometimes be hard to spot because even Satan’s ministers can appear to be pure and wholesome teachers of the Word of God, but this should not surprise us because “even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light” (2 Cor 11:14). If Satan himself can appear to be an angel of light, then it’s not surprising that millions are being deceived.

Conclusion

The real gospel includes the necessity for repentance, faith, teaching on holiness, sanctification, and growing in the grace and knowledge of the Lord our God. Studying the Word of God with the aid of the Spirit of God helps clarify the ungodly teachings of the enemy. The best wat to spot heresy is to know the truth and the truth is found in the Word of God.

Knowing the Word of God will help more than anything in spotting the phony or false gospels out there, and those who peddle it, and some family members end up driving a $200,000 Lamborghini. If you know someone who is falling into error, I hope you’ll share these Scriptures with them. Maybe it can help them spot the heresies and avoid believing a lie. The Devil is a liar, so what would you expect from the father of lies?

RiverOL · Dec 20, 2022

Got Risk . . . Discomfort?

[ 1 min read ★ ]

For a day in Your courts
is better than a thousand elsewhere—Psalm 84:10

Years spent in luxury and comfort can’t compare to one day spent with God—in his presence; experiencing his love; living his truth; doing his work. And, astonishingly, God doesn’t offer us just single days . . . mere glimpses, fleeting encounters. He offers himself “more abundantly than all that we ask or think” (Ephesians 3:20-21). He offers all of himself, all the time—as much as we want, as much as we choose.

One proven method of choosing him is to strip away worldly comfort, strip away predictability and self-sufficiency . . . and intentionally move into situations we can’t handle on our own. Jesus sent his disciples into such situations: “I am sending you out as lambs in the midst of wolves” (Luke 10:3). He told them to travel light and resist taking anything that could provide comfort, predictability, self-sufficiency: money, extra clothing, extra stuff (Luke 10:4). They had to rely on him. And they returned full of joy (Luke 10:17). Because they’d been willing to move, in faith, into risk and discomfort, they got to spend precious days with God. Jesus told them:

“Blessed are the eyes that see what you see! For I tell you that many prophets and kings desired to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.” (Luke 10:23-24).

Okay, so what do we do?

Ask yourself, what am I doing—right now—that requires faith? We get used to choosing risk and discomfort by practicing. So, look for ways to practice, brother. Look today for what moves your heart. Reach out to someone who needs help. Spend time with someone who needs a friend. Commit to a service project. Sign-up for a short-term mission trip. If you do, you’ll too have great stories to tell.

RiverOL · Dec 21, 2022

Avoiding Checklist Parenting

The following is an excerpt from my interview with Linda Wood Rondau on my podcast, You’ve Got This.
An award-winning author, Linda serves as both senior editor and acquisitions editor for Elk Lake Publishing. A veteran social worker, her published novels examine the complexities of human relationships. Most of Linda’s work is contemporary fiction. However, she has published both speculative and non-fiction.

Her anticipated release of I Prayed for Patience God Gave Me Children is a second edition and will launch on or about Mother’s Day 2019. Her blog, Snark and Sensibility, hosts writers of various genres. She manages a Facebook page, Having the Prime of My Life, a positive look at aging issues. Linda resides in Hagerstown with her husband of 40 years.. Connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram.

When you see your own children struggling with difficulties with their own children, do you feel that it’s payback for what they put you through?
Linda: I often tell my grandchildren, “I knew a kid like you.” Not payback, but I think when you’ve gone through something they haven’t experienced yet, we can help guide them through the difficulties.

Especially when my kids were young, I would call my mom and say “I’m sorry,” for my childhood behavior. I’ve been so blessed to have a mom and a good relationship with my mom. Today, a lot of young moms don’t have that relationships with their mom, so they might go to other sources that might not have that tried and true wisdom.

Linda: That’s why I wrote the book. I wrote it years ago for my daughter who’s so busy. She’s got three kids and she was working outside the home. My book has anecdotes and snatches that people can read while they’re getting that first cup of coffee,

Sounds like you wrote it as an encouragement. How do we work through the mundane tasks as moms, especially when our kids are small and can’t help much?
Linda: Using your senses helps a lot, like smelling those clean clothes. That fresh scent is there and that can reinforce your love to serve, an intangible to reaffirming the love you have for your child.

That’s so important because we often forget that we show love to our kids, our husbands and our family by doing the mundane, we might feel like it gets overlooked.
Linda: I draw from Jesus’ example when he washed the disciples’ feet. We’re called to be servants, whether we have a Ph.D. Or not. And moms are servants.
Often, when my four kids were young, I reminded myself of the mundane things Jesus did. It’s important that I serve my family but more important that I’m serving Jesus when I’m doing these things. Any other ways to create a servant heart?

Linda: As a senior mom, I try to be there when the kids need something. The other day I made cupcakes for my grandkid’s concert. What did it cost me? A little bit of time but it brought such joy.
Keeping those connections with our families are important. As my kids get older, they don’t always want to go see grandparents. But we prod them with things they can talk about with their grandparents.

Linda: We just did a genealogy research and discovered that we were descendants from someone who served in the Revolutionary War, and that one relative was hung as a witch. We try to share those stories with our kids to give them the bigger picture.
That heritage can be so important because it can get lost in today’s hyper-focus on the here and now. Families are messy and even families who love God have messiness in the background, sharing those stories with our kids can help them see life isn’t perfect, that we can still love each other through the imperfections.
Linda: I envy those people who can make a day come out exactly as they thought it would at the start. I’m not an organizer by nature anyway, and I’ve always been people-oriented than task-oriented. I’m also one who loves a challenge. I might have to re-order something to make it happen. I think you’re happier as a person if you don’t look at your task list and feel like you have to accomplish everything on the list. Sometimes you’ll only accomplish one thing and rather than look at the nine things out of 10 that you did not complete, look at the one thing and rejoice and celebrate that that was accomplished.

That helps us to look back at our day and rest in that I’ve accomplished everything I was supposed to do today. In today’s Instagram life, we need to be content with the messiness of kids.
Linda: There’s two kind of lists: Your list and God’s list, and they don’t often match. God doesn’t call us to do things without equipping us to do that tasks. We can ask God and he will give us the wisdom to take care of the situations that seem well beyond us.

RiverOL · Dec 22, 2022

Can Taking a Break or Separating Preserve My Marriage?

For some couples, a separation may be a reasonable alternative to divorce if both partners are willing to work on themselves. A planned marital separation can sometimes save a marriage. According to author Tinatin Japaeridze, what some refer to as one’s “need for space from a partner” is a legitimate cry for just that – space. She posits that both men and women sometimes need quiet time to find what’s vital to their relationship.

Based on my counseling experience, marital separation can be a double edged sword. On the one hand, it can allow a couple time to deal with the issues that are pulling them apart without the emotional intensity that comes with living together. If planned in a thoughtful way, they can agree to meet regularly to work on their issues and air their grievances. Implied in this approach is hope that the relationship might repair and continue if both partners are on the same page. Some refer to this break time as pressing the pause rather than the stop button.

However, time apart can cause some people to further detach from one another and be disappointed when they reunite and find the same patterns of annoying behaviors exist. This is especially true if one or both partners don’t take responsibility for their part in the breakdown of the relationship. Many experts advise that taking a break only delays the inevitable. Only you know what is the most likely outcome for your situation.

Truth be told, a break can be a healthy antidote for you and your partner if you both commit to working on your relationship with the intention of dealing with the issues that divide you. The phrase absence makes the heart grow fonder characterizes couples who don’t have extremely high conflict or abuse and are receptive to counseling to work on their communication and connection patterns.

8 Tips for taking a break from a relationship:

Be specific, honest, and vulnerable about your concerns and what the break will look like. Don’t worry about pleasing your partner because this is the time to assert your needs.
Set boundaries and expectations. This includes ground rules and expectations such as talking about the duration of the break. Discuss whether you can date others. Can you text or call each other daily? Is it okay to have sexual intimacy with each other? Is it okay to stop by each other’s residence unannounced?
Make an agreement to have regular counseling sessions – focusing on working on your relationship patterns will greatly enhance your chances for success. Your counselor can help you decide how often you should see each other, if sexual activity is acceptable, etc.
Don’t assume that your partner wants the same things that you do. Remind yourself that your relationship broke up for a reason and people don’t change overnight.
Talk to your children honestly but don’t give them too much information or false hope. If your children are younger than age twelve say something like: “Mommy and daddy need time to figure out how to get along better so we’re going to try living apart. We both love you and will make sure that you see a lot of both of us. Kids older than twelve can handle a little more information, such as: “We’re not sure if we’re going to work things out but we want to give it a try.” Never express negatively about their other parent or bad mouth them.
Don’t date other people while you’re living apart. It’s impossible to build trust – an essential aspect of intimacy – if you’re romantically or sexually involved with someone else.
Recharge your battery and take time to learn more about yourself so you can view your relationship with a fresh perspective.
Stay optimistic and connected with your partner. It’s important to stay in touch with your partner in old and new ways such as cards, letters, and/or a weekly dinner out. A planned separation needs to be a reprieve from bickering, disagreements, and frequent communication.

Give your partner space if you want to test out whether absence will make your heart grow fonder. In fact, respecting each other’s boundaries is crucial to finding out if divorce is a better option than separation. Setting a tentative timetable can help both people evaluate whether taking a break has caused them to feel more optimistic about building a life together.
Consider taking a break as a time to determine whether your relationship is worth saving. It can give you and your spouse a chance to respect one another’s view of your problems – even if you feel that they’re wrong or shouldn’t feel the way they do.

RiverOL · Dec 23, 2022

Have Compassion

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone else. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:12-13 NIV

Pray
Lord, sensitize me to others and their needs.
Observe
Is God challenging you to adjust your outlook or attitude? When we adopt a positive attitude, it directly impacts our outlook, personalities, and relationships. With our busy schedules and multitudes of distractions, we rarely stop to consider what’s going on in the lives of others. When we intentionally slow down and observe the world around us, we can see more clearly the struggles and challenges many are facing.

Are you simply being polite when you bump into a co-worker, friend, or loved one and ask, “How are you?” Or do you really want to know? Have you ever been asked that question, only to realize the person asking really doesn’t care about the answer?

Jennifer Burk | www.unsplash.com
When we take the time to ask people how they are doing and genuinely listen to and care about their response, we gain a more realistic perspective of the person’s circumstances and put ourselves in a better position to feel and show compassion.

Wife of evangelist Billy Graham, Ruth Bell Graham, was known to be the glue that held the Graham family together. It’s said she modeled Christ-like compassion and would happily give someone the dress off her back. In fact, that’s exactly what she did. During a world evangelism conference, Ruth found a change of clothes and gave an African pastor the dress she was wearing when he mentioned he just couldn’t return home without bringing his wife a gift.

Courageously exercise compassion by putting the following into practice.
1. Set aside judgment. When someone is curt, arrogant, or downright mean, consider what difficulty he or she may be facing and offer to pray for him or her.
2. Accept differences. We all come from different backgrounds, upbringing, life experiences, and levels of spiritual growth. Therefore, strive to be considerate of your differences.

3. Ask and listen attentively. Ask at least one person each day, “How are you?” Listen attentively to his or her answer.
4. Actively express compassion. Openly express compassion for others by giving of your time, talents, or resources.
Interpret
God expects us to be compassionate, kind, humble, gentle, patient, and forgiving toward others.

Apply
Write down one way you can show compassion to others today and exercise compassion by implementing it throughout the day.
Pray
Father, thank you for your never-ending love, compassion, and patience toward me. Please help me recognize the needs of others and genuinely express true compassion toward them.

RiverOL · Dec 24, 2022

Moral Standards and Goodness Can’t Exist Without God

Atheists’ argument that goodness and moral standards can exist without God does not hold up. If there’s no God, people don’t live after death and aren’t held accountable for their actions, good or evil. That’s why Dostoevsky said, “Destroy a man’s belief in immortality and… everything would be permitted, even cannibalism” (The Brothers Karamazov).

To say that an atheistic worldview provides no basis for the existence of good and evil does not mean that atheists have no sense of right and wrong. They do. They live in a culture influenced by a historic belief in God and the morality revealed in Scripture. This provides them a residual basis for believing that moral categories are important, while their own worldview doesn’t.

How does an atheistic worldview explain an atheist’s morals? Suppose time, chance, and natural forces accounted for us. If we could move from nonlife to life and from irrational to rational—quantum leaps, to say the least—then what more could we do than invent pragmatic social rules to govern group behavior? Since the powerful make the rules and they would survive longer by making the weak serve them, then why would anyone but the weak want life to change?

If the natural world is all there is, would mankind get its morals from animal instincts? A gazelle runs from the cheetah, but gazelles don’t sit around the campfire and discuss how unfair it is for cheetahs to kill gazelles. Neither do cheetahs wrestle with the morality of whether they should kill gazelles. Do fish have rights that sharks should recognize and respect? Are sharks evil for eating fish? Would a good shark refrain from taking advantage of vulnerable fish? If so, how long would it survive?

In an evolutionary worldview, why object to stronger human beings stealing from or killing weaker ones? Wouldn’t this simply be natural selection and survival of the fittest, not a question of right or wrong?
It doesn’t help to define happiness as pleasure, as opposed to pain. Being eaten by cheetahs doesn’t make gazelles happy, but eating gazelles makes cheetahs happy. Animals can experience “happiness” or lack of it, but that doesn’t provide a moral code. Animal ruthlessness and lack of compassion for the weak is simply how the system works. How could anyone view it as evil?

The naturalist may claim that the survival of the fittest is descriptive, not prescriptive; that it describes the world as it is, not as it should be. But on what does he base any sense of should? Why “should” he operate differently than the way the natural order operates, since he’s part of that natural order himself? Any appeal to natural law seems baseless, unless there is a Creator, a Lawgiver, who has built into us a sense of that natural law.

Atheists who have thought through the implications of their worldview occasionally admit its utter moral emptiness. Unbeliever William Provine put it this way in a debate: “Let me summarize my views on what modern evolutionary biology tells us loud and clear…. There are no gods, no purposes…. There is no life after death…. There is no ultimate foundation for ethics, no ultimate meaning in life, and no free will for humans.”

Notice his admission that there is no ultimate foundation for ethics. The naturalistic worldview has no basis for declaring some things good and others evil.
But surely something within Dr. Provine can look at good and rejoice, then look at evil and cry out, “This is wrong!” What is it that cries out? The Bible calls it the conscience, God’s law written on our hearts (see Romans 2:15). We have a moral code, a natural law built into us. That’s what allows us to step outside of what we see around us and call it good or evil.

RiverOL · Dec 25, 2022

A Shot of Spring Joy

We went walking in a state park Sunday. In irrepressible defiance of our state’s modest stay-at-home order, people were out in herds, scampering over rocks and making way for each other on little, twisty gully trails. We all needed some fresh air and to get out. We all needed a shot of spring joy in our lives.

With the bad news from corona country on perpetual drip feed, we need a little joy right now. With the constant talk of sacrifice and hunkering down and battling the pandemic, we might forget that God has created us for joy. And with people out of work and wheezing in hospitals, we might question whether we have a right to be joyful. But Jesus taught us “so that my joy may be in you” (John 15:11). His youngest student John longed to gather with the Christian community “so that our joy may be complete” (2 John 12). Here are three kinds of joy we can be especially open to right now.

Joy in the moment. Be here, right now. As important as keeping up on the news is, there’s a way in which it dislocates us from the plot of sacred space right in front of us. Tilt your head up and take in the tracks of those vertebral clouds. Notice that the park is brushed emerald with happy little trees. Power lines tremble with wind and birds. And (sorry if this sounds like advice off a box of herbal tea): receive the gift of God’s now.
Joy in stillness. So often we derive satisfaction from the next big thing. Our lives are onward and upward, or at least we imagine them that way, and it gives us an adrenal kick. Not right now. Plans are frozen. Jobs, if you’ve still got one, are in a holding pattern. Things feel stuck. Which is a good time to recognize that there’s a kind of joy that comes from being at peace with quiet.
Have you ever experienced this? It’s a joy that’s easily startled. It rises up shyly within us when we hold still and pray and breathe. You can’t analyze this joy too carefully, because it’s not a joy that comes from anything obviously going our way. This joy drifts across the face of our soul like a bright cloud. And then it’s gone. Its source and destiny is God. Your infant has squalled himself out and fallen asleep in the crook of your arm. The sun has found you with its molten smile. And that grackle with its call like rusty scissors was sent just for you.
Joy in relinquishment. Jesus said: “Whoever loses his life for me will find it” (Matthew 16:25). We can’t acquire our way into the kingdom. The Jesus-life involves giving up and letting go: our plans, our expectations, the future we had put in place, brick by brick. None of it’s certain. Nothing is guaranteed. I wonder: rather than despairing, can we release our lives and future into God’s capable hands? There’s joy to be discovered in this sort of relinquishment, because it’s an act of trust. This joy comes from letting go of ourselves to cling to Christ. God has invited us to his table, and we find that if we’re going to approach, we have to surrender our claims to essential business (Luke 14:15-24). Like the Rain for Roots song, “Wedding Banquet,” we have to lay down our pretensions and just “come to the table of the Groom.” (BTW–Rain for Roots crafts lovely, artistically interesting and reverent music. I’m looking forward to their new album: All Creatures!)

Here are some of my recent joys: a spring garden lovelier than it has been in years because so many other commitments have been cancelled and I have time to fight the weeds. A one-year-old playing in the dirt while I work. Ten thousand birds calling to each in the morning’s dark before the day begins. Words clotting on the page, some of them the right words.

With all of the compassion for our fellow human beings that’s called for right now, with all of the global solidarity we need with those who are hurting, with the steadfastness that these upending times demand of us, don’t forget joy. God has not created our lives to be a bundle of commitments and causes. We just are, and as we are, we are worthy of experiencing God’s joy.

RiverOL · Dec 26, 2022

5 Things Most Women Don’t Know About Men

“I wish I knew what was going on in his head!”
“Why in world does he do that?”
“How can I get him to open up to me?”
“What is going on with him?”

These are questions I hear all the time from women who are desperately trying to understand and connect with their husbands (and their sons). Our culture seems to be dismissing the differences between men and women for a new version of gender neutrality, but disregarding our God-given distinctness does more harm than good. Taking the time to understand and appreciate these differences can help us grow in our mutual understanding, our communication and our relationships (especially marriage and parenting).

I’m going to give you some inside info on what’s really happening in his head. The research seems to point to these five common traits among most men. These generalizations don’t apply to every man, but they definitely hold true for for most the guys I know. Ask your husband/boyfriend/sons if these five points are true for him and it could spark some deeply meaningful conversations that could strengthen your relationship!
First off, here’s what you need to know about his THOUGHTS…

1. His BRAIN…

His brain works differently than yours. It’s not a matter of intelligence or intellect (which are statistically equal with both genders). It’s a matter of neuroscience and mental “wiring.” Guys compartmentalize their thoughts (work, hobbies, home, etc.) where women’s thoughts tend to be interconnected in a way that most men can’t comprehend. This can lead to a LOT of miscommunication. When you talk to a man like you’d talk to your girlfriends, he’s probably not going to process it the same way you will. His communication is at it’s best when it’s centered around an activity and/or focused on solutions and bullet points more than details. (He also probably thinks about SEX even more than you think he does.) To tap into his thoughts, try going on a walk or doing a physical activity together. Physical activity seems to stimulate our thoughts and our conversations.

Here’s what you need to know about his FEARS…

2. His FEARS…

We guys don’t always talk about our fears, but we have them. Most men’s fears center around questions like, “Do I measure up?” “Am I respected?” “Can I provide the right life for my family?” “Am I ever going to reach my full potential?” “Will I ever overcome my hangups?” These questions haunt our thoughts and dreams. Most men need more reassurance than we admit. He wants to know that YOU believe in him. He desires respect and affirmation even more (in many cases) than he even desires knowing he’s loved. These are huge needs and some of his greatest fears are linked to doubts and insecurities in these areas. Understanding this about him can help you reassure him which will help him open up to you.

Here’s what you need to know about what really drives him…

3. His AMBITIONS (and/or goals)…

Most guys measure success in quantifiable terms. We attach a numerical value to it. We like trophies. We like sports and video games because there are actual points involved and a “win” is clearly defined. This is one of the reasons why some men will tragically neglect what truly matters most (family, relationships, etc.) in pursuit of financial wealth and career advancement. We can “measure” success by dollars and promotions in a way that we can’t quantify as easily at home. A man will feel like he’s “winning” at home primarily when he feels respected at home. When he feels respected at home, he’ll be less tempted to find his identity in shallow pursuits like money and hobbies. (Men, as a challenge to you and to me, let’s never value pursuits or possessions ahead of people. Our families deserve our best; not our leftovers! Any success that happens at the expense of our families is NOT real success!)

Here’s what you need to know about his SENSE OF HUMOR (and why it’s more important than you think)…

4. His JOKES…

This one might seem weird to you, but for most guys, it’s incredibly important for us to believe that we have a great sense of humor. He wants to know that YOU think he’s funny. All his corny jokes and bad puns are an attempt to make you laugh, because your laughter is the sweetest sound in the world to him. Even if the jokes are really cheesy, laugh along because he means it as an act of flirtation and an attempt to connect with you through laughter. He’ll probably never make it in standup comedy, but if you think he’s funny, he’ll feel like he’s arrived! It’s more important than you’d think and more important than he’ll admit, but it’s usually true. Seriously.

Here’s what you need to know about WHAT MATTERS MOST TO HIM…

5. What matters most to him…

This might surprise you, but YOUR happiness is probably what matters most to him. He’ll struggle to ever be happier than he perceives you to be. A man sees his wife’s happiness as a gauge of his own success as a husband (and as a man). Sure, there are definitely guys who get selfish and reckless and make terrible choices that cause unhappiness, but for most of us, all it takes to make us happy is to know that our wife is happy.

RiverOL · Dec 27, 2022

3 Reasons Why Marriage Will Make You a Better Man

What tools does God use to make us better men? One tool he uses is Marriage. Marriage is God’s tool for producing a change in the life of two people. He uses marriage to reshape the rough edges in our character. God uses marriage to reorient our selfishness. He uses marriage to reform our spiritual perspectives. Through the relationship of marriage, we will be reshaped, reoriented, and reformed with the intention of making us into better men—the men He wants us to be.

Three Changes We Discover in Marriage

Change One | Character reshaped

One challenge that many do not expect to encounter in marriage is the fact that we can no longer hide our weaknesses and insecurities. Your wife will get to know you in a way that surpasses even your parents’ knowledge. She’s going to eventually be able to discern when you’re lying, hurt, broken, confused, absent, and unfulfilled. While you used to be able to conceal these matters from the general public, your spouse will notice them and might even point them out—maybe unfairly. And while you will not meet her insight with enthusiasm, it’s one way marriage changes you. For when the truth about yourself is exposed, you have the potential for change if you’re receptive.

The longer you’re married, the more you will realize this is true. Increasingly, your wife will know you— and you her—and your character will be more visible, examined, and exposed. And if she loves God and His Word, then hopefully she will guide you toward becoming the man God wants you to be. And this relationship and process proves and shapes our character.

Change Two | Selfishness reoriented

All people are inherently selfish and self-centered. And if you happen to be single, you can do what you want. It is pretty easy. You don’t have anybody to check-in with, report to, or attempt to work things out with—except possibly a boss or roommate, though you can choose to opt out of these relationships. But after that first day of marriage, everything changes. You move from one place into another, and someone else moves in too—permanently. It requires a whole new frame of mind, which many don’t understand. It’s a move from one to “oneness,” where two people “become one in the flesh.” And part of this is God’s plan for us to become less of “me” and more of “we.”

Many of us, however, move in with the same old selfish expectations, thinking marriage is just going to be life as usual, but with a roommate and some sexual privileges. How wrong we are. Brave unions address our selfishness and its festering wounds, inadequate ideas, poor practices, and acute attitudes that prevent oneness.

Change Three | Spiritually reformed

In marriage, we discover something special. For to many it seems to be only a physical union joined by a contract, it’s primarily a spiritual union joined by an eternal commitment. Marriage is not exclusively about reshaping our character or reorienting our selfishness, but a spiritual covenant that we make to God and commit to for a lifetime. It reforms us at the deepest level. What God joins together is something no man can separate. Like two colors of sand poured into a single container, when one man and one woman join together, something spiritual occurs that makes the two inseparable.

We typically understand this binding when a marriage goes through challenges that endanger the connection. And marriage will have its share of challenges. When things go awry and the enemy attacks, eventually you will discover that you cannot do marriage without God. These challenges will prove how hard it is for you to change, and how impossible it is to change your spouse. Let these moments drive you to submission, letting God change you. After all, God never changes. When your marriage bumps into Him, you are hopefully smart enough to give in to Him. Because marriage is God’s institution, it is always under attack; your response should be spiritual attentiveness to a spiritual reformation of the mind, will, and action.

RiverOL · Dec 28, 2022

Susie felt perfectly happy with the Christmas gift she’d been given…until she saw what her sister had received. Mary had gotten a brand new wagon! Suddenly, her gift–a glittery apron, rolling pin, cookie cutters, and oven mitts–looked unimpressive.

All through Christmas dinner and afternoon play time, Susie pouted, missing out on enjoying the special food and fun time. Oh, how she wished she could have her sister’s special gift! She finally took the problem to her father.

“Why did Mary get that?” she whined. “I wish I could have that gift instead of this one.”

Susie’s father scooped his daughter up into his arms. “Susie, Dear, I gave each of my daughters just what she would need. Can’t you trust me?”

Susie sighed, not sure her father hadn’t made a mistake. But looking into his eyes, she knew she could trust him. She hopped down, comforted and with a new mission: to use the gift she’d been given.

Over the next few weeks, Susie began discovering the joy of baking. To her surprise, she could make delicious food. Equally to her surprise, a dear friend who lived down the street got sick. Susie began making meals for her…and Mary transported them over in her wagon. Truly, their father had given each one just what they’d need.

“As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace:” 1 Peter 4:10 (ESV)

“For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.” Romans 12: 4-8 (ESV)

RiverOL · Dec 29, 2022

This One Habit Will Be Game-Changing for Others … and Yourself!

Kindness is a superpower. It can improve relationships, make life better, and transform our culture. And if you want to be a kind person, the quickest way to get there is to build a habit of praising others regularly. In fact, finding things to praise about the people in our lives is so important that it’s one of the three daily actions I shared in The Kindness Challenge that can make a huge difference in any relationship.

But here’s some surprising news: we aren’t actually as kind as we think we are! We may think we already have the habit of praising people … but we probably don’t. We don’t express affirmation nearly as often as we think.
The good news is the simple act of showing appreciation for people out loud is something we can learn to do. And it is part of building an atmosphere of kindness in our lives that has a major impact on everyone around us… and ourselves.

Keep your eyes open for praiseworthy things.

Our family was at a Fourth of July fair with games, music, food booths, huge inflatable slides and obstacle courses. I was standing in line with my then-twelve-year-old son, waiting for him to go up the massive Cliff Hanger slide, when we heard terrified sobbing from the very top. A little girl had climbed up and was stuck—she was too scared to slide down. After unsuccessful attempts to persuade her, her father made the very awkward (for an adult) climb to the summit, with a crowd of at least forty people silent and watching below.

Suddenly the woman next to me blurted out, “I think this must be the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.” She turned to all the people around her. “When he comes down, y’all better clap! I hope everyone claps for this man!”

Up above us, the dad gathered his tearful little girl into his arms. With her face buried in his shoulder and her arms around his neck, he gingerly began climbing back down the almost-vertical staircase with her clinging to him like a front backpack. And with one voice, the crowd below started clapping and cheering. The dad was startled, then started grinning. You could tell the accolades made his day.

When the commotion died down, I asked the woman beside me, “Is he your husband?” “No, no,” she said with a laugh. “I just try to make it a habit to encourage people, you know? It has to be a habit. Otherwise, it doesn’t happen.”

We need to build the habit of praising others out loud.

It has to be a habit. Otherwise, it doesn’t happen. So true! I had stood there at the base of the slide with thirty-nine others. Every single person probably thought: That’s a great dad. Yet only one brought up the fact that we needed to say it out loud.

Thankfully, if you begin to offer praise out loud, the rewards are so great that you’ll easily build a true habit. As you do, remember that praise goes far beyond “Good job” and encompasses whatever makes the people in your life feel affirmed. “I’m grateful for your candor.” “Honey, they loved your presentation.” “You’re a wonderful mom.” “You make me so happy.” “You are so good at keeping us on task, thank you!”

And ladies, you might want to know that the words “thank you” are especially life-giving for men. In my book For Women Only, you can see more about how “thank you” is a man’s equivalent of “I love you.”

Praising others makes us more thankful for what we have.

It’s easy to understand the importance of praise and affirmation as components of kindness. But still, our praise may not always be spoken out loud. One subtle, sneaky reason is that we may feel entitled to whatever the other person is doing for us. As Jeff said, “I think we sometimes feel: You owe this to me. I deserve what you’re doing. This means that one reason we don’t praise is pride … it is easy to forget that we really don’t deserve anything. Everything God allows us to have is a gift, right? So, it is all praiseworthy.”

As we practice praise, we build others up, but we also become more and more grateful for all that we have—and we start to see even more things to be grateful for. Building the habit of encouraging others shifts our focus from inward to outward. It keeps us on the lookout for good and makes us eager to call attention to it.

So, let’s roll up our sleeves and put our intentions into action. Who can you praise today? Keep your eyes open. Take the admiration that you think and feel about someone and express it to them in words. Keep looking. And keep praising. Those small steps of kindness can begin to transform your relationships … yourself … and the world around you!

RiverOL · Dec 30, 2022

Tamar the Righteous

Some observations about the story of Tamar and Judah, recorded in Genesis 38, inspired by a lively discussion of the narrative at the Theopolis Regional Course in Dallas last weekend.

1) The chapter has a chiastic structure:
A. Judah’s family, vv 1-5: take wife and conceive; births; replacement of firstborn
B. Sons die: Tamar returns to father’s house, vv 6-10
C. Judah sends Tamar back to father’s house, 11
D. Tamar prepares for her encounter with Judah by disguise as harlot, 12-14

E. Judah and Tamar, 15-18
D’. puts back on her widow’s clothes, 19
C’. Judah can’t find Tamar, 20-23
B’. Tamar pregnant, 24-26: harlotry
A’. Judah’s sons, 27-30: birth of twins: replacement of firstborn
The structure reinforces a fundamental theme of the chapter, the death and rebirth of the line of Judah. Judah’s line dies several times at the beginning of the chapter (as it does in the related genealogy in 1 Chronicles 2), but is finally revived.

Importantly, it’s revived by the incorporation of an outsider, Tamar, who is never identified as such but appears to be a Gentile (the same pattern reappears in Ruth and 1 Chronicles). The royal line rises from the dead only when the nations are incorporated.
2) Tamar’s deception is parallel to Rebekah’s deception of her husband Isaac. In both cases, a woman deceives an erring man in order to set him on track (see James Jordan’s comments on Rebekah in Primeval Saints).

Judah is a cad throughout the chapter. He separates from his brothers and marries a Canaanite. He mistreats Tamar at multiple levels. He denies Tamar marriage to his youngest son, Shelah. He sends her back to her father’s house, and treats her as if he has no obligation to her. Tamar not only loses husbands and the possibility of children, but the inheritance that should be hers through Judah’s sons. She is excluded from Israel’s line of descent, which seems to have been important to her. Why doesn’t Judah know his own daughter-in-law? Because he is, narratively if not literally, as blind as Isaac.

Tamar is clearly more concerned about the future of Judah’s family than Judah is. His ancestry is stillborn, but he does nothing to correct the situation. Tamar has to take things into her own hands, deceiving Judah into fulfilling his obligation to provide a seed for her and forcing him to recognize his sin. His confession “She is more righteous than I” shows that he, like Isaac, acknowledges his sin. He recognizes that he was responsible for ensuring that she had children, and Tamar has arranged things so that he fulfills this obligation in the most direct way imaginable. It’s a foreshadowing of Judah’s later transformation, from a brother-persecutor of Joseph to a brother-substitute for Benjamin.

3) Tamar’s conduct is scandalous; it’s not an example for women to follow! But Judah is right to judge her righteous. She’s a female Jacob, cunningly pursuing what is rightfully hers, cunningly seeking a place in the line of Israel’s kings. Her ploy is successful, as she secures a place in the ancestry of the Messiah (Matthew 1).
Typologically, she resembles the Bride of the Song of Songs, who seeks her lover in the streets, looking for all the world like Lady Folly of Proverbs. She is not a harlot, but she impersonates a harlot in pursuit of covenant blessing. She is willing to be mistaken for a prostitute, as Jacob was willing to disguise himself as Esau, if that was necessary for the fulfillment of promise.

RiverOL · Dec 31, 2022

5 Really Good Things That Can Be Bad for Your Marriage

A good thing is always a good thing, right? Well…yes and no. Sometimes, you CAN have too much of a good thing. There are many situations in our marriages and families that we might consider a “good thing”, but sometimes, we try to cram too much of it into our family life. It’s a tricky balancing act that takes great consideration. If we allow these good things to take priority over our marriage and family, then all we will have left is a damaged relationship with our spouse and children.
So, what are some “good things” that can go bad when left unchecked? Well, here are 5 to consider:

1. Personal Hobbies

Please don’t get me wrong; we should all try and find time to engage in our favorite hobbies even after getting married and having children. The problem arises when we spend more time golfing than we do with our families. We shouldn’t put our scrapbooking hobby ahead of time with our husbands. If we are constantly trying to arrange our schedules around our hobby, then our lives are greatly out of balance. We must always put our marriage and family first. There is no hobby worth pursuing more than our spouse.

2. Children’s Sports and Activities

There are so many benefits to children being involved in sports and after school activities of all kinds, but these days, many parents are spending a fortune and many hours away from the rest of the family in order for their child to be involved in these activities. I understand that some children exhibit tremendous gifts at a very young age, and we feel like it is our duty as parents to further their skills. This is a good thing. However, when we throw our family into hyperdrive to attend all the practices, rehearsals, games, competitions, etc., this good thing can quickly wear on a family and become detrimental to the family as a whole.

Dave and I have experienced this first hand when our oldest son, Cooper, was doing competitive gymnastics. We found ourselves at the gym 9 hours a week and at overnight competitions on the weekends. Dave usually couldn’t attend the competitions due to church on Sundays, so Cooper and I would be absent from the rest of the family during that time. Eventually, the schedule began to take a toll on our family.

I hated that we weren’t able to spend as much time together, and I didn’t think it was fair to my husband and other children. After talking it through with Dave and Cooper and praying about it, we decided to pull Cooper from the competition team and placed him in a Parkour class. He loves it, and we now go to the gym an hour and a half a week instead of nine hours a week. Our family functions so much better, and Cooper still gets to participate in a sport that he loves. It’s all about balance.

3. Friendships

I love hanging out with my girlfriends, and I have the privilege of doing so on a weekly basis. However, I know there must be balance there as well.

All too often, Dave and I have counseled couples who have allowed time with friends to usurp time spent with their spouses, or they let their friends govern their marriage. Unfortunately, some of those marriages ended in divorce. We are greatly influenced by our friends, so we must choose them wisely. We must also realize that we cannot put any friendship ahead of our friendship with our spouse. Our spouse should be our best friend. We can certainly have close friendships, but we shouldn’t spend more time with our friends than we do with our spouse and family.

If we find that we can be more honest and open with our friends than our spouses, then we need to lean away from spending so much time with that friend and lean into spending more time with our partner. We are keeping ourselves from having the intimate marriage that God wants for us when we spend more time with our friends and allow them to know our deepest thoughts and feelings instead of our spouse. So, yes, let’s spend time with our friends–but not let that time exceed the time we spend with our spouse.

4. Work

Work is a necessary part of life, and it’s best when we have a job that we love. However, we must make sure that we don’t let our work time overtake our family time, and this is much easier said than done–but it can be done. We must be willing to set healthy boundaries when it comes to our work. This means, we do our best to be home for dinner. We don’t have lunch with colleagues of the opposite sex by ourselves. We try to limit our out of town work trips whenever possible. As much as we possibly can, we finish our work and leave it at there so that we can fully engage with our family at home. We make sure that our boss knows how much we value our family time, and we plan our schedules accordingly.

5. Social Media

Social media is awesome, but it can be a HUGE distraction from our family if we aren’t careful. Again, we need to set healthy boundaries for ourselves so that we give our BEST time and attention to the ones we love the most. One way we can do this is to create a place where we put down our phones whenever we are home (we can even have them charging too). When we do this, we give our most beloved people our attention–NOT our phone. This may be a hard boundary to keep in place, but your marriage and family will be stronger and happier for it!

For some more ways to set healthy boundaries when it comes to your social media, check out “Are You Married in Real Life Yet Single Online?” by clicking here.

Again, all of these 5 things are GOOD when in balance. Let’s make sure that our marriage always takes priority.

RiverOL · Jan 1, 2023

What’s So Funny? Every Dad must Know how to Laugh!

How can a father keep his cool and his sanity? Eduardo explains just how important it is to have a good sense of humor and laugh

https://www.sammyboy.com/javascript:void(0);

Do you like to laugh? A sense of humor is good, you know. The Bible says, “A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.”

To be able to laugh is awesome. To be able to laugh at ourselves is just as neat. I agree, there are many sad things in the world but we need to lighten up sometimes and just see the humor in things. We also need to help others to do the same. I know scripture tells us there is a time to laugh and a time to cry; that we can’t deny. So we also need to be there with each other through sad times, as well.

Genesis 17:16-17
And I will bless her and give you a son from her! Yes, I will bless her richly, and she will become the mother of many nations. Kings will be among her descendants!”
[17] Then Abraham bowed down to the ground, but he laughed to himself in disbelief. “How could I become a father at the age of one hundred?” he wondered. “Besides, Sarah is ninety; how could she have a baby?”
Genesis 18:11-12

Laugh at This

And since Abraham and Sarah were both very old, and Sarah was long past the age of having children, [12] she laughed silently to herself. “How could a worn-out woman like me have a baby?” she thought. “And when my master—my husband—is also so old?”
So, guess what…there is also a time NOT to laugh. Guess when that time is…When God says anything is possible with God and we don’t believe Him. God loves us and wants what’s best for us but we need faith and we need to believe Him when He tells us or asks us for something. One of my favorite verses comes from Jeremiah 29:11 that says, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Friends, we need to believe that. We need to believe that, even though the situation we may be in, seems hopeless at times. Here’s what’s funny to me today…I know the end of the Book. You know the end of the book. The devil looses and pain looses. Hatred looses. Sin looses. God wins and all those with Him – WIN. Jesus Christ has victory over sin and death and the grave. So keep your heads up; find the humor in things and enjoy this great life that God has kindly bestowed on us. Amen

RiverOL · Jan 2, 2023

It is impossible for a man to achieve good through evil means.

XXI. Be attentive to your heart and watch your enemies, for they are cunning in their malice. In your heart be persuaded of this: it is impossible for a man to achieve good through evil means. That is why our Savior told us to be watchful, saying: ‘Strait is the gate, and narrow is the way that leads to life, and few there are that find it (Matt. 7:14).

Today the marvelous Nessie decided to do evil that good might come. Knowing that the neighboring dog surely wished to be her pal, she disregarded my good command, tail beating the air with joy, and strained at the leash, jumping and leaping. She fell to her belly, trying to drag me forward, showing the older and smaller dog, she was good and submissive. She ignored stay, heel, and frightened that poor senior dog out of any good meeting.

Nessie was sad. Hadn’t she meant well? Why hadn’t things turned out well? Nessie was sad. If the other dog (and his friendly companion) are willing, we shall try again soon.
Nessie had learned that even a dog cannot do “evil” that good may come. Of course, Nessie is not really a moral agent. She lacks the intent that is the content of morality, but she did remind me that disobedience to good moral commands is not justified by hopes for good outcomes.

The enemies of our soul, the establishment, the flesh, and devils, require attention. They would be powerless if we refused consent to their designs. Rarely does a man suddenly decide to go wrong for the sake of wrong. He does not twirl his metaphysical mustache, buy a lair, and decide to conquer the world. Instead, he does something bad, even with great regret, for some noble cause.

Not knowing for sure how his action will end up, all plans go awry, the man has traded a certain evil for a possible good. Certainties are worth more than possibilities, generally. There is a reason the proverbial bird in hand is worth two in a bush. What if there were fifty in the bush or a million? Shouldn’t we let go of the bird in hand for the possibility of a million?

No.
Whatever the merits chasing after the million has as a business strategy, this is bad advice when applied to moral truths. Why? If one plays probabilities, one must also measure the cost of the certainties. A certain evil will do harm to the person doing the evil and have repercussions that extend beyond the single instance. If one man does evil that good comes and this seems to “work,” then another man, in a worse case, will be tempted to do evil that good may come.

Maybe.

Yet this probability, that greater evils will be justified because of some earlier compromise, must be placed against the possibility that good will come from the immediate evil we do.
Maybe our bad action will bring a greater good.
Maybe our bad action will cause some future man to do a greater evil.
All we know for sure is that we have done evil.

Some cultures love “strait gates,” but not our own. We love the latitudinarian and the broadway. When motivated by mercy and grace, there is virtue in our error. We should notice that the love of “narrow ways” also can have a good ethical motivation: a love of justice and truth. The “strait” man does not wish to see some potential good become a foe of present goodness!

At the end of all our reasoning, a Christian cannot accept bad means to a good end, because a Christian does not know if history will last. We know that time is in the hands of God and so tomorrow may not come. We probably will see normal outcomes, but we may not. Indeed, the Last Judgment will put our small temporal success, say some good earned over a thousand years, against eternal, unchangeable evil. God thinks in eternity, we must do so as well. The bad action done today endures as a bad action, but the “good” done by the bad may not endure forever!
What is excusable in Nessie the dog is no good in adult humans. We can stop and count the cost: our disagreeable natures cost us friends. We must not save the institution at the cost of people. We can never burn the village to save the village.
It is impossible for a man to achieve good through evil means.

Singapore Dancing Spirit · Jan 2, 2023

RiverOL said:
Don’t Forget the Invite

[ 1 min read ★ ]

. . . and he will give you another Helper—John 14:16

With his time on earth ending, Jesus told his disciples, “I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever . . .” (John 14:16-17). This Helper “will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you” (John 14:26). He will “guide you into all the

Jesus Himself said, "I will become the Mediator between God and man (1Tim. 2:5), and through My mediation and intercession all blessings of grace shall come to you" (Rom. 8:34 Heb. 7:25). In John 14:16, Christ speaks of His new role as a Mediator, a role of the Chief Priest as He Himself sacrificed Himself to save the mankind.
It is absurd to ask someone, or Bishop or Pope or pastors to pray for yourself.

This is the era of Holy Spirit ad He will be the Helper forever. Forever, not until the rapture or some other time and then He will be taken out of the world. He will never be taken away. He will be here during the tribulation, Millennium, and forever (Acts 2:16-21 Rev. 7:14; 12:17 with 19:10; Zech. 12:10; etc.). To have the Holy Spirit taken out of the world would mean to nullify the eternal benefits of the New Testament for men. This is inconceivable and unscriptural.

Whom to address our Prayers?

We must address the Father in Heaven. That's what Jesus Himself taught: "Pray to your Father"... "In this manner pray: Our Father in Heaven!" (Mt 6:6,9).

During the days of Jesus on earth, the disciples straightaway asked Him whatever they wanted. But pointing to the new dispensation which Pentecost would usher in, Jesus said, "In that day you will ask Me nothing... whatever you ask the Father in My Name He will give you. Until now you have asked nothing in My Name" (Jn 16:23,24).

Even though Jesus is the One who baptizes us with the Holy Spirit, He has directed us to ask "the Father" for this gift (Lk 11:13).

The early Christians prayed "to" the Father (Acts 4:24-30). The apostolic teaching is clear: "THROUGH Jesus we have access BY one Spirit TO the Father" (Eph 2:18). Paul writes thus of his own prayer practice: "I bow my knees TO the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ" (Eph 3:14).

God Almighty is our Eternal Father. Christ Jesus is our Elder Brother and Eternal Chief Priest. The Holy Spirit is our Executive Helper (Heb 2:10-12; Jn 16:17). We pray "to" the Father, "thro" the Son, "by" the power of the Spirit. The trinitarian Godhead is best understood in the context of prayer. Our prayers are addressed to the Father who is in Heaven. They are advocated by the Son who is seated at His right hand. They are assisted by the Holy Spirit who is right here on the earth in us (Heb 7:25; Rom 8:26,34). What a picture! What a privilege!

Does it mean we cannot pray "to" Jesus? No. There are prayers in the Bible addressed to Him (Acts 7:59; Rev 22:20). But these are more an exception than a rule. The clear teaching in the Scriptures is to pray "to" the Father "through" Jesus. Let us not hesitate to shed down our traditions, though cherished long, to become more and more scriptural.

Can we praise Jesus? Of course, yes. We should. But the ultimate worship is to the father. Read Jn 4:23; Eph 3:21; 5:20; Col 1:3,12. Even when every knee bows and every tongue confess that Jesus is Lord, it is "to the glory of God the Father" (Phil 2:11). Here's the final stage: "When all things are subject to Jesus, then the Son Himself will also be subject to Him who put all things under Him, that God may be all in all" (1 Cor 15:28)

[for ever]

RiverOL · Jan 3, 2023

Ready to Go? Let’s Go.

[ 1 min read ★ ]

For I am ready . . . even to die in Jerusalem
for the name of the Lord Jesus—Acts 21:13

When we follow him, God will—sooner or later—ask us to do something we don’t want to do, to go someplace we don’t want to go. Maybe his “ask” will come through a nudge or as a thought in prayer. Maybe it will come as a prompt while reading Scripture. Maybe through the encouraging or challenging words of a friend. However it comes, it will come.

After visiting Ephesus and Macedonia, the Apostle Paul got an “ask” from God the Holy Spirit to go on to Jerusalem (Acts 19:21). The Spirit warned him, however: if he went there, he’d be arrested. Paul’s friends begged him not to go. Paul answered: “What are you doing, weeping and breaking my heart? For I am ready not only to be imprisoned but even to die in Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus” (Acts 21:13).

For us to become the men we were created to become, for us to become the men the world needs us to become, we must act with the same boldness and confidence. Paul was bold and confident because he trusted two things: God’s in charge and God’s good. We must trust those too. For they allow us, like Paul, to trust one thing more: our affirmative answers to God’s “asks” are ultimately good for us, good for others, and good for God’s Kingdom . . . and will very likely become the proudest moments of our lives. Indeed, these “asks” lead us into the very adventures for which we were created.

Okay, so what do we do?

What do you feel God might be asking of you, right now? Is there anything you just know he’s prompting you, quietly, to do? If so, resolve to trust him. And today take a practical and measurable step—bold and confident—toward that thing.

Singapore Dancing Spirit · Jan 3, 2023

Some thoughts for pondering:

Paul says, "I am Ready" four times:

I am ready to be bound (Acts 21:13)
I am ready to preach (Rom. 1:15)
I am ready to minister (2Cor. 12:14)
I am ready to die (Acts 21:13; 2Tim. 4:6)

Compare Peter's readiness (Lk. 22:33)
Peter said unto Christ, "I am ready to go with thee, both into prison, and to death. This kind of pride and boastfulness was the cause of Peter's downfall (Prov. 16:18). Such is likely to happen to anyone who does not take heed (1Cor. 10:12-13).

HOW TO DIE TRIUMPHANTLY

Death is the greatest fact of life. We are not here to stay; we are here to go. There is nothing more certain than death, and nothing more uncertain than the time of dying. We must therefore be prepared at all times for that which may come anytime. Our earthly life is after all a journey from birth to death.

“The day of death is better than the day of one’s birth,” proclaimed Solomon the wise (Eccl 7:1). “Lord, teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom,” prayed Moses (Psa 90:12). “It ought to be the business of everyday to prepare for our last day,” penned Matthew Henry, the Bible Commentator. C.H. Spurgeon used to say, “He who does not prepare for death is more than an ordinary fool. He is a mad man!”

As Christ was, so are we in this world. The Scriptures teach us that we must live like Him. If Christ is the pattern for our living, so is He for our dying too. It of course does not mean that we also must die at thirty-three on a Roman cross near Jerusalem! But the principles which governed Him in both life and death are for us to follow. Zechariah prophesied about the triumphal procession of King of the Jews, or Israel in Zech 9:9 was fulfilled in Mt. 21:4. This was a definite prediction that the Messiah will appear to Israel riding on an ass (Mt. 21:1-11 Mk. 11:8-10 Lk. 19:36-40 Jn. 12:12-19).

Let's study how Jesus prepared Himself for the great day of Crucifixion.

Bible records

TWO ANOINTINGS
Two anointings the last week before crucifixion:
❶ In the house of Lazarus six days before the Passover (Jn. 12:1-8) on last Saturday
❷ In the house of Simon the leper two days before the Passover (Mt. 26:7-13 Mk. 14:3-9) on Tuesday.

Note: Don’t perplex this supper with another anointing during earlier days of Jesus’ ministry in the house of Simon the Pharisee in Capernaum (Lk. 7:36-50).

TWO SUPPERS

Two suppers in the last week:
❶ Six days before the passover in the house of Lazarus (Jn. 12:1-9). He slept here Friday night and spent the last sabbath in rest and at sunset when the sabbath ended the supper was served. Mary anointed the Lord on this occasion.
❷ Two days before the passover in the house of Simon the leper, also in Bethany (Mk. 14:1-9). At this supper an unknown woman anointed Jesus (Mt. 26:6-13).

Note: Don’t perplex with another supper which Christ offered to His disciples' aka bride or wife. This is called the last supper or betrothals of His future wedding immediately after rapture (Jn. 13:1-20 Mt. 26:20; Mk. 14:17; Lk. 22:14). Jesus had eaten of the Passover before the time at the last supper (Mt. 26:18-20 Mk. 14:12-16 Lk. 22:7-15) and was Himself slain at the time of the offering of the paschal lamb (1Cor. 5:7).

TWO TRIUMPHAL ENTRIES INTO JERUSALEM
Christ entered into Jerusalem with a Triumphal entries TWICE to signify his victory even before He was killed on the cross (Mt. 21:1; Mk. 11:1; Lk. 19:28; Zech. 9:9)

❶ After spending Thursday night at the home of Zacchaeus in Jericho (Lk. 19:1-21), Jesus goes to Jerusalem on and makes His first triumphal entry(Mt. 21:1-16). He returns to Bethany on Saturday where He passes the Sabbath, where He eats the first of three suppers, and where the first of two anointing takes place (Mt. 21:17 Jn. 12:1-11).
❷On , He makes His second triumphal entry into Jerusalem. Christ returns to Bethany (Mk. 11:1-11 Lk. 19:29-44 Jn. 12:12-19). On He goes back to Jerusalem, teaches, gives the prophecies of Mt. 24-25 Mk. 13; Lk. 21 and returns to Bethany to have the second supper and second anointing (Mt. 21:23--Mt. 26:13; Mk. 11:20--Mk. 14:9; Lk. 20:1--Lk. 21:38).

WHY ANOINTINGS, SUPPER AND TRIUMPHAL ENTRIES TWICE?

To triumph in Christ, and maketh manifest the savour of his knowledge by us in every place (2Cor 2:14)

Triumph in Christ means complete mastery over satanic powers (Col. 2:14-17 Eph. 2:14-15). The triumph here is like that of the Romans in which a public and solemn honor was conferred upon a victorious general, by allowing him a magnificent procession through the city of Rome. This was not granted by the senate unless he had gained a very decisive victory or conquered a province. On such occasions the general was clad in purple, and gold woven in figures setting forth his achievements. He wore a crown and in one handheld a branch of laurel, the emblem of victory. In the other he carried his staff. He rode a magnificent chariot, adorned with ivory and plates of gold, and drawn by white horses. To keep him humble in the midst of all this a slave rode at his back, casting railings and reproaches and enumerating his vices and failures. Musicians led the procession; young men led sacrifices to be offered; then came loads of spoil, followed by the kings, princes, and generals taken captive. After these came the triumphal chariot before which people strewed flowers and shouted triumphant cries. Following this came the senate, priests, and the rest of the parade

Bible made it clear that Satan's angels are organized into “principalities” and “powers” of the current world system both invisible and visible (Eph. 1:21; 3:10; 6:10-17 Col. 2:10,15; Rev. 12:7-12). All fallen spiritual forces gives powers to the fallen men aka children of devil as Pseudo rulers as the world authorities

Paul expounded this truth in a more legalistic way.
Having spoiled “principalities” and “powers”, he made a shew of them openly, triumphing over them in it (Col. 2:15). Devil (principalities) with the influence of serpent (wicked power) is mentioned here as Christ was stripped naked on the cross. However, they did not take the innerman (soul+ spirit) of Christ to evict out of the body of Christ.

Paul explicitly said it clearly TWO POWERS
❶ The principalities
❷ The powers

All the above two powers in the spiritual realm must be subdued into order to bring total defeat.
The spiritual beings responsible for the stripping the dominion of First Adam also responsible for their own defeat. They were listed as follows
❶ Satan responsible for the world principalities. Roman authorities and the Government working under the directions of devil
❷ The beast serpent aka Leviathan who gave his wicked power to devil and also to cause so much pain as he bruised the heel of Christ on the cross.

The beast will again give his full power to the future Antichrist who is also termed as a beast. Satan is expected to give his power to false prophet during tribulations
The same 2 powers brought utter shame and sufferings on the cross. But Christ conquered them on the cross fulfilling the prophecy of God Almighty in Gen 3:15.

He shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.

The beast “Leviathan” gave his power to Satan to inflict only temporary shame & sufferings on Messiah (Gen. 3:15; Isa. 53; Acts 2:25-26; Heb. 2:14-15; Rev. 1:18). But since Christ conquered both of them on the cross, Gen. 3:15 will be fulfilled in Armageddon and then will be completed fulfilled in eternity. Christ shall utterly crush and eternally (permanently) defeat Satan (Rom. 16:20; Gal. 3:13; Ps. 72:9; Eph. 2:14-18; Col. 2:15; Heb. 2:14; 1Jn. 3:8; Rev. 11:15; 12:7-12; 19:11--Rev. 20:10).

The public shame and sufferings are eternal as everyone in the Hell will not be clothed while being tormented in the Hell. Christ suffered while he was put to open shame (100% nude). All fallen men will be naked in the next life. Every one saved in Christ will be clothed and live in mansions (2 Cor. 5:4).

Paul and all 1st century Christians who witnessed the crucifixion knew that Jesus was stripped naked. He was on 100% nude on the cross as he was put unto “open shame”. (Heb 6:6)

➊ Greek: deigmatizo (G1165), to expose to public infamy and shame and it was used when satan and all his powers were stripped naked when Christ conquered all powers of darkness. (Col. 2:15)
➋ The Greek: paradeigematizo (G3856), is used as a public shame but the intensive form and it was expressed along with crucifixion. (Heb 6:6)

Why was it expressed as UTTER SHAME (intesive form emphasised) upon Christ but upon satan when he was stripped naked after he was conquered by Christ

Jesus was stripped naked or in total nude by the soldiers who nailed Him on the cross, but it was not brought the shame to that extent that devil suffered when Christ conquered the devil. Lets see the reasons,
➊ It was an open shame for Christ as He was visible to all when His nakedness was exposed and witnessed by all both men (near vicinity) and all spiritual beings in Heaven and earth.
➋ But when Christ overcome the devil, Satan lost his clothing once and for all to cover him up in the spiritual realm. As Christ was stripped naked, devil was stripped naked when he was defeated. The nakedness of devil and fallen angels were not visible to human eyes. But their nakedness was witnessed by all spiritual beings in spiritual bodies in the spiritual realms. But it was NOT visible to anyone living in the earth.
➌ Because man was made little lower than angels (including fallen angels), devil can appear with any costume he likes. Carnal Christians won’t be able to understand that satan and other fallen angels are infact 100% nude in the spirit realm but appearing to them falsely .
➍ The truth about their nakedness is not hidden to the children of God. Also fallen angels are not visible to human eyes, they can manipulate in any form as they wanna appear before any men

HOW WAS JESUS VICTORIOUS ON THE CROSS

Jesus did not utter a word all along, but when he discerned the time of his death, how he handled the death speaks for themselves.

His seven sayings from the Cross are guideposts for us to a triumphant death.

1. Carry no bitterness!
“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do” (Lk 23:24).
Jesus could so magnanimously pray for the forgiveness of His executors and torturers because His very life was characterized by forgiveness throughout. If a man lives right, he will die right. Even when Jesus rebuked or whipped people, it was out of purest love. Stephen followed his Master ditto (Acts 7:60).

Someone said, “In a world where death is, we should have no time to hate!” Let us be as kind as we can today; tomorrow we may not be here. Paul warned the Ephesian Christians,“Do not let the sun go down on your anger” (Eph 4:26). Let not our life end with anger, bitterness and grudges. We are heading towards a land which people entered just because they were forgiven. Shall we leave people behind us here on earth hurt and unforgiven? Jesus would not have anyone make an offering at the earthly altar without reconciling with his offended brother (Mt 5:23,24). Will He demand less when we appear before Him in His literal presence?

Only a life of love today can guarantee us “boldness in the day of judgment” (1 Jn 4:17).“For judgment is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment” (Js 2:13).

Rush to the offended at once. Embrace the hurting. Reconcile with the wronged. Restitute matters. Return whatever does not belong to you. Withdraw court cases. Apologise freely. Forget the past. Owe no one forgiveness. Die debt-free!

2. Concern yourself with the lost!
“Assuredly, I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise” (Lk 23:43).

Soulwinning was the overriding business in the life of Jesus. He asserted again and again that He had come primarily to seek and save the lost. He sacrificed rest and sleep in order to help earnest enquirers. He changed itinerary in order to minister to sincere seekers. He was a Friend of Sinners everywhere, even on the cross.

“Jesus was not crucified in a Cathedral between two candles, but on a cross between two criminals—on the town garbage heap, at a crossroads so cosmopolitan that they had
to write His title in three languages—Hebrew, Latin and Greek—at the kind of place where cynics talk smut, thieves curse, and soldiers gamble. Because that is where He died, and that is what He died about, that is where churchmen ought to be, and what churchmen should be about!” (Pulpit Helps, April ’94).

No man is ready to die until he has believed on Christ. After he has believed, he has no greater and nobler job than to stop unbelievers from rushing into Christless eternity.

It was his sin of omission that landed the rich man in hell. He had not been concerned about the needy and suffering. His indifference towards missionary work during his days on earth is understood distinctly from his desperate cry to Abraham to send Lazarus to his five unconverted brothers! (Lk 16:27,28).

Beloved, invest your time to pray continuously for the perishing souls. George Muller prayed for his two drunkard friends for nearly 40 years. They got converted only at his funeral service but went as missionaries. Our prayers and tears are not wasted but kept in God’s book and bottle (Psa 56:8).

Invest your talents to proclaim zealously the message of Christ. Consecrate your skills, studies and strength for the service of God. Go wherever you can to bless people, and do whatever you can to bring them in. D.L. Moody desired, “After I die, I want a monument of two legs carrying the Gospel!”

Invest your treasure to pay generously for the material needs of the work of God. That’s how you can stockpile treasure in Heaven, where it’s safe from moth and rust and burglers
(Mt 6:20). At death we leave behind all we have and take with us all we gave!

Those faithful in stewardship responsibilities will be greeted hilariously with the Master’s Welldone and Welcome! (Mt 25:21,23,34).

3. Care for your family!
“Woman, behold your son!... Behold your mother!” (Jn 19:26,27).

In his concerns a Christian must give high priority to his family. The Bible establishes,“If anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Tim 5:8). Jesus’ concern for His widowed(?) mother as the eldest son grew out of this conviction.

Though Joseph’s brothers had meant evil against him, he made ample provisions for them and their families in Egypt before he died (Gen 47:5,6; 50:19-22). So also did David for his father’s house eventhough he was the last son (1 Sam 22:1-4).

For the dead it is just a promotion into the glory land, but for the bereaved it is gloom and loss—especially for the spouse and the children. God is so compassionate towards them that He is called the Defender of the widows and the Father of the fatherless (Psa 68:5). Do not wait to reach your seventies to start making provisions for the family. Even as you earn daily bread now, prayerfully work out means to provide for the future of the family. A careless attitude that God would take care of your dependents is anti-Biblical (2 Cor 12:14; Prov 19:14).

A word about dividing the properties will be appropriate here. Bitter fights arise among brothers and sisters after the passing away of parents because of partiality in partition. In India the worst affected is girls. It is illegal and un-Christian. God is displeased with such step-motherly treatment given to them. In fact the weaker sex must be given stronger support to survive in this male-dominated society (1 Cor 12:24,25).

When God blesses you, realize your responsibility for the wellbeing of your poor relatives also. Do not become too selfish to look beyond your closest family circle. Use your status and position to bring up your underprivileged kinsfolk. God honours this largeheartedness (Esth 4:13,14). Saul made his cousin and David his nephew as commanders in their armies (1 Sam 14:50; 1 Chron 2:16; 2 Sam 8:16). Such sincere help to the deserving is not nepotism.

4. Cry to God!
“My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” (Mt 27:46).

Jesus was perfectly divine as well as fully human. Nowhere is the combination more evident than on the Cross (2 Cor 13:4). His absolute identification with man is the absorbing inspiration for us.

Though death is a blessing insomuch as it puts an end to all temptations and trials, it is still an enemy that every human being dreads (1 Cor 15:26). The God-given instinct in man is a desire to live than to die (Psa 118:17). The “fear of death” is therefore natural, but Jesus delivers us from the “bondage” to this fear (Heb 2:15). He tasted the sorrow of death and death itself, so He may uphold us while we walk through the “valley of the shadow of death” (Mt 26:37,38; Heb 2:9; Psa 23:4).

King Hezekiah wept bitterly when prophet Isaiah announced he would die in his sickness. God saw his tears and mercifully added fifteen years to his life (Isa 38:1-5). God’s general promise is that He would satisfy us with long life (Psa 91:16). Therefore we can pray, “O my God, do not take me away in the midst of my days” (Psa 102:24). But in comparison with endless eternity, thirty years or ninety years here make no difference. John, Jesus and James died at the zenith of their career; but who can say they died too early?

Most of what Jesus spoke from the Cross was quotations from the Old Testament. He prayed the actual Scripture verses (Psa 22:1). We too are admonished to be filled with the Word of Christ so our prayers may be meaningful and our praise graceful (Col 3:16). Make memorisation of Scripture alongwith its meditation a regular practice. The Holy Spirit will remind us of the appropriate passage at the hour of darkness.

“Every man must do two things alone: he must do his own believing, and his own dying,” observed Martin Luther. This is referring to human companionship. But the Lord Himself has promised, “I will never leave you nor forsake you... I am with you always, even to the end of the age” (Heb 13:5; Mt 28:20).

5. Convey your desires!
“I thirst!” (Jn 19:28).

Death has snatched away thousands before they communicated to the family and friends their desires and wish. One reason for their failure was that they never realised that death could be sudden and unexpected.

The Bible records excellent speeches of God’s men delivered at the eve of their death. Study these passages: Gen 49; 50:24-26; Dt 29-34; 2 Sam 23:1-7; Jn 14-17; Acts 20:17- 38; 2 Tim 4; etc.

Christian leaders must prepare the next generation even as they are developing their own ministries. Jesus, Paul and many apostles trained secondliners from the very start of their public ministry (Mt 4:17-19; Acts 16:1-3). It is such a loss to the Kingdom when pastors and preachers keep everything to themselves until they become bedridden. Jesus spent more time with His select men than the masses. Without regular and meaningful communication we cannot leave precious legacy behind. It is an exercise of faith (Heb 11:22).

God requires of parents to teach and instruct their children to continue the godly traditions and never sell their heritage for a short-term appetite (Gen 18:19). Before apportioning properties and jewels to the children, set aside a sizeable portion for God. Make endowments for the Kingdom needs. Hear Solomon’s wisdom: “There is a severe evil which I have seen under the sun: Riches kept for their owner to his hurt... As he came from his mother’s womb, naked shall he return” (Eccl 5:13-15).

Several of our organs like eyes can brighten and lengthen the life of our fellowmen. Why bury them to become dust and ashes? Register with the nearest eyebanks and such institutions and instruct your family what to do in the event of your death. It’s rightly said, “Life is not measured by its duration but its donation!” Kingdom-minded people cannot waste money on expensive cemeteries. The great missionary Amy Carmichael instructed her associates not to build a tomb for her but just make a bird-bath where she would be buried. Burying or burning makes no difference. It’s all the same. The spirit goes back to the Creator, but the body becomes dust for dust and ashes for ashes (Eccl 12:7). Don’t tell your spouse to remain unmarried (Mt 22:23-33; Rom 7:2), or instruct your grandson whom to marry!

6. Complete your work!
“It is finished!” (Jn 19:30).

God expects each of us to finish whatever work He has assigned to us. In His wisdom He has granted us sufficient space and strength. Even before going to the Cross, Jesus testified that He had finished the work His Father gave Him (Jn 17:4). Missionary Paul declared the same thing: “I have finished the race” (2 Tim 4:7). There are certain underlying principles for such accomplishment.

Don’t procrastinate! “Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth” (Prov 27:1). Be brisk. Work hard (Eccl 9:10).

Don’t overcommit! Know your limitations. Don’t try to do everything. Prioritize your life. Don’t extend your borders beyond God’s gifting and enablement (Rom 12:3; 2 Cor 10:14,15; Eccl 3:10,11). Don’t spread too thin.

Don’t be a soloist! Delegate responsibilities. Share the work (Mt 26:19; Eph 4:16).

Don’t be a perfectionist! Our work must be neat and tidy, but somewhere we must stop, because except what God does, everything will be less than perfect. Perfectionists make their lives and those of others miserable (Eccl 7:16). Also they accomplish less.

Don’t sidetrack! Stay in your calling. Don’t shoot rabbits while going for deer-hunt. Trivial things leave us exhausted. It is said, If you have two aims you have one too many!“David, after he had served his own generation by the will of God, fell asleep” (Acts 13:36).

7. Commit your spirit!
“Father, into Your hands I commend My spirit” (Lk 23:46).

“If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s” (Rom 14:8). Only God decides the time of our death (Jn 19:10,11). We will not die before the appointed time. Let us therefore relax and submit,“I trust in You, O Lord; You are my God. My times are in Your hand” (Psa 31:14,15).

Perfect submission, perfect delight!
Visions of rapture now burst on my sight;
Angels descending bring from above
Echoes of mercy, whispers of love! (Fanny Crosby)

RiverOL · Jan 4, 2023

Most Christians Have too Much Fear to Believe in the Sovereignty of God

I recognize much of what I am about to say will be controversial to many, even within my own theological “tribe.” I expect those who are not in Christ to vehemently disagree with all that I am about to say, but particularly on the basis of who their true master is. For Christians though, I would like to take this time to plead with you. I have watched much of the reaction surrounding Coronavirus over the past few months, with an especially keen eye on Christians. While I recognize the limits of what I see are great—the overwhelming response of Christians that I have seen is fear.

People are afraid of the “silent killer” they have had little choice but to be inundated with in every waking hour. They are afraid of what it might do to them or their loved ones, or perhaps even strangers they may meet along the way. Many are likewise afraid of what will come of the response, whether it be total economic collapse or the ripple effect that comes from such a thing. Others still are afraid of what might come from governmental authorities who have been showing their true colors in what can only be described as a power grab. Despite the common denominator supposedly being Christ, what unifies Christians of all convictions today is their abject fear of what may be.

All of this leads me to believe that many, even among those who profess an utterly sovereign Lord, have some lingering doubts on just how in control of all things He truly is. Of course, these things are all legitimate threats. The Coronavirus can kill you or someone you love. The response to the Coronavirus may in fact lead to seeing a disastrous economic collapse on a global scale. Likewise, the power-hungry politicians have stopped at nothing to take advantage of their own people during a time of national crisis.

This is particularly what makes the rationalizations of why we have good reason to be afraid, or nervous, apprehensive, shrewd, calculating, cautious—whatever you wish to call it—as dangerous as it truly is. The reality is that we can wrap all sorts of things up under “wisdom” and “common sense” that are little more than a guise that shows how little we actually believe God is sovereign in all things. Surely, one might believe He is sovereign over this or that—but in the thing which tugs at your heart more than any other—you have good reason to be careful.

What I truly believe is at the heart of this sentiment though is not a desire to uphold wisdom and care of one’s neighbor—not for the majority of people expressing so. Rather, I believe that much in the same way that all men suffer from an idolatry problem, people’s idols are being exposed and threatened. Our comfort is being stripped away, though laughably, it is done as we remain in pajamas on our sofas, binging Netflix.

Our money, investments, and storehouses are being slowly depleted and plundered before our eyes, though we took every precaution to store up more food than needed as we neglected to give thanks for even this day’s bread. Likewise, our freedom to go wherever we wish and to congregate with one another has been taken from us—though we still gather en masse at the hardware, grocery, and general stores which have been deemed “essential” by the government. In many ways, the things being stripped from us are still present for us, they are simply not being granted in the expressions we favor, which is particularly why I sense much of the current happenings in our country is simply that which makes us uncomfortable.

This is not persecution—yet it is undoubtedly, in one sense, a revelation of our collective cowardice and the object of our true affections. The reason I say this is simply that when we come to a text like Matt. 6:24-34, we rationalize away any and all of its actual substance when we highlight just how careful and shrewd we have been when we favor safety and comfort over stepping out in faith.

Many cannot stomach the notion that we cannot have two masters. Surely, we can have Christ and money too; we will say we have no love of money—that it can all be swept away in an instant and we would still praise Christ, and yet the moment the stock market tumbles and people go without work for a short period of time, we show our affections are still not singularly focused upon Christ. Theirs is a fear of losing; yet for those who haven’t made money their master, theirs is a fear of losing too.

Interestingly, a loss of life, comfort, clothing, food, job, etc., all find their roots in a love of money. One would think that these different ends of the spectrum would bear differing masters, yet our Lord relegates them both, in their fears and worries, to Mammon. Is yours a fear of what may be as a result of disease, famine, or perhaps a man-made threat? Christ says, “You cannot have two Lords” and relegates your fears and worries to a love of money. The simple reason for this is that all such things are bound up in a fear of losing one’s life, despite the reality that our Lord has promised that, “…whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it” (Matt. 16:25).

In seeking to save your life, you lose it, but in losing your life—that is, in giving your life in whole to the King—you gain your life. In a manner that flips conventional wisdom on its head, Christ promises life to the one who does not seek to save his own life.

The question as to how is resolved in Christ’s answer: seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things (listed in the preceding verses) will be added to you (Matt. 6:33). In light of this promise, that is, in light of the promise that if you seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, food, shelter, and clothing will all be provided to you, He then commands us not to worry about what tomorrow may bring (Matt. 6:28-32).

And yet I have seen almost nothing but Christians worrying about what tomorrow may bring, and very few indeed who have been focusing first on seeking His Kingdom and His righteousness. This is much to our shame before an ever-watching world, as they see on one hand Christians condemning immoral behavior, yet on the other, chasing after the same exact things those who do not know God chase after, all the while fretting and thinking they can add a single hour to their lives even when they’ve been explicitly denied such a thing (Matt. 6:26).

The plain nature of this passage from our Lord reveals very simply that worrying about what may come is not for us to have. It is for those who do not know God. It is all they have, as they have no firm hope in all the world. They are the ones who may fear joblessness, death, men, and the like—all because they happily serve a master who dangles such prizes before their eyes continuously.

These are the things which bring them peace, comfort, joy, and all the rest they shall ever have. Yet for those in Christ, you are called to a higher and greater aim than they. What that very simply means is that your preoccupation—your singular focus—is to be much like Paul’s own, which is that you come to truly believe that your life is not your own, but Christ’s, and your death is a precious thing which unites you to Him in glory. Your peace, comfort, joy, and rest then should only be found in Christ and Christ alone.

If you find yourself in times of trouble worrying about what may or may not be, I am going to suggest to you, at the simplest level, you are trying to serve another master whilst serving Christ. These things cannot be. It is either one or the other. There is no room in your heart which Christ leaves for a fondness of any other master. You cannot love both God and Mammon, and therefore, you must treasure Christ.

Yet do not stop here; remember His Word of promise to you: if you seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, all these things which the world frets over, will be added to you. He shall care for you, dear child. He shall not leave you nor forsake you. Shall you not likewise say with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego against all things that, “…we do not need to give you an answer concerning this matter. If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the furnace of blazing fire; and He will deliver us out of your hand, O king.

But even if He does not, let it be known to you, O king, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up” (Dan. 3:16-20). Is not the principle of His providence and care enough for you to take great comfort in, and be rid of all fear? If it is not, might I simply suggest that you turn off the news and pick up your Bibles, and just highlight every occurrence of the word “fear” or its variants? For my theologically Reformed brethren who still find every reason to hold up fear as wisdom: will you not show people the richness of the theology you profess to hold?

RiverOL · Jan 5, 2023

4 ways to prevent a crisis in your marriage

This morning, I sat down with a married couple in crisis. The exhaustion and frustration was evident in their weary faces before either of them spoke a word to tell me about their situation.
They, like many couples, are both juggling the demands of stressful careers, parenting, and several major life transitions all happening at once. In their frenetic pace of life, their marriage had been on “autopilot.” Their time together was scarce, and even when they were together, they were usually too exhausted and distracted to engage in meaningful conversation.

In the midst of this tiring season, the husband had developed a “friendship” with a female work colleague. The wife became uncomfortable with their closeness and asked him to stop texting with her, and he agreed. He then made the terrible choice of continuing the communication and concealing it.
When the wife discovered the longterm pattern of deceit and the escalating level of intimate dialogue between them, she was furious. Her first response was to pursue divorce. She didn’t think she could continue loving a man who had broken her trust with such a deliberate pattern of deception.

They now sat in my office, brokenhearted, regretful, confused, exhausted and looking for answers. They wanted to keep their family intact, but they didn’t know where or how to begin.
I shared with them How to rebuild trust and the keys to forgiving, healing and moving forward. I also shared with them The truth about divorce. In addition, I shared with them with the option of doing a weekend retreat for married couples in crisis. They agreed to work towards healing, and I believe these tools will help them move forward.

I believe any couple can make it through any crisis if they remain committed, but it’s far better to prevent the crisis from happening in the first place.
Below are four keys to prevent a crisis in your marriage:
1. Don’t wait for a crisis to happen before you make your marriage a priority.
The crisis was the “wake up call” this couple needed to made some drastic realignment of priorities, but the “crisis” could have probably been prevented had they been proactive about prioritizing the marriage in the first place. Time is the “currency” of relationships, so if you want to start investing into your marriage, start by investing more time.
2. Don’t “outsource” things only you and your spouse should be doing.
When we feel like our sexual needs aren’t being met, there’s a temptation to “outsource” that need through pornography or romance novels or even through an actual affair. When we feel that the emotional support needs aren’t being met, we’re tempted to “outsource” those through a secret “friendship” with someone else of the opposite sex. Anytime we’re getting a marriage need met outside of our marriage, we’re being unfaithful and sabotaging the marriage.

3. Watch out for the digital distractions.
In our age of constant connectivity, it’s possible to be in the same room with your spouse, but still in different worlds. Use technology to keep you connected, not distracted. Use these 5 ways to improve your marriage using your smart phone and be very careful of the ways your smart phone might be hurting your marriage.
4. Communicate about everything.
In marriage, secrets are as dangerous as lies. Communication does for a marriage what breathing does for lungs.

In step

Alfrescian

Bible Verses To Help You Spot Apostasy Or Heresies​

Growing Apostasy​

Prophesied to Come​

A Different Gospel​

Conclusion​

Alfrescian

Got Risk . . . Discomfort?​

For a day in Your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere—Psalm 84:10​

Okay, so what do we do?​

Alfrescian

Avoiding Checklist Parenting​

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Can Taking a Break or Separating Preserve My Marriage?​

Alfrescian

Have Compassion​

Alfrescian

Moral Standards and Goodness Can’t Exist Without God​

Alfrescian

A Shot of Spring Joy​

Alfrescian

5 Things Most Women Don’t Know About Men​

Alfrescian

3 Reasons Why Marriage Will Make You a Better Man​

Three Changes We Discover in Marriage​

Change One | Character reshaped​

Change Two | Selfishness reoriented​

Change Three | Spiritually reformed​

Alfrescian

Alfrescian

This One Habit Will Be Game-Changing for Others … and Yourself!​

Keep your eyes open for praiseworthy things.​

We need to build the habit of praising others out loud.​

Praising others makes us more thankful for what we have.​

Alfrescian

Tamar the Righteous​

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5 Really Good Things That Can Be Bad for Your Marriage​

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What’s So Funny? Every Dad must Know how to Laugh!​

​

Do you like to laugh? A sense of humor is good, you know. The Bible says, “A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.”​

Laugh at This​

Alfrescian

It is impossible for a man to achieve good through evil means.​

Alfrescian

Don’t Forget the Invite​

. . . and he will give you another Helper—John 14:16​

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Ready to Go? Let’s Go.​

For I am ready . . . even to die in Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus—Acts 21:13​

Okay, so what do we do?​

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Most Christians Have too Much Fear to Believe in the Sovereignty of God​

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4 ways to prevent a crisis in your marriage​

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Change Three | Spiritually reformed

This One Habit Will Be Game-Changing for Others … and Yourself!

Keep your eyes open for praiseworthy things.

We need to build the habit of praising others out loud.

Praising others makes us more thankful for what we have.

Tamar the Righteous

5 Really Good Things That Can Be Bad for Your Marriage

What’s So Funny? Every Dad must Know how to Laugh!

Do you like to laugh? A sense of humor is good, you know. The Bible says, “A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.”

Laugh at This

It is impossible for a man to achieve good through evil means.

Don’t Forget the Invite

. . . and he will give you another Helper—John 14:16

Ready to Go? Let’s Go.

For I am ready . . . even to die in Jerusalem
for the name of the Lord Jesus—Acts 21:13

Okay, so what do we do?

Most Christians Have too Much Fear to Believe in the Sovereignty of God

4 ways to prevent a crisis in your marriage