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I Have A Brilliant Plan For PAP To Recapture Hougang!

clinton666

Alfrescian
Loyal
The undeserved victory by WP's Png Eng Huat has really pissed me off :oIo:
Hence, I have devised a most brilliant plan for PAP to wrest back the control of Hougang from these WP infidels! My plan is simply brilliant and is sure to work!

My superb brilliant 5-point plan are as follows:

1. DEMOLISH all coffeeshops and neighbourhood mom and pop shops in Hougang, which have been used a front for WP's illegal assemblies of riff raffs! A new spanking new mall run by CapitalMall will be built make these shops obsolete as the case in many estates and sparkling clean food courts offering a wide array of deilcious local food and fast food will take over the role of the coffeeshops! These will put many Hougang treasonous peasants out of work and turn them into beggars, and this will make the PAP's carrot that is dangled to them ever more enticing!

2. The principals and staff of all the schools in and around Hougang needs to be fired and replaced by more competent and patriotic Singaporeans, preferably those with PAP affiliations! These schools have failed to properly educated the young in loving the nation. All tertiary students living in Hougang needs to go through re-education programs to teach them about of the importance of being patriotic to Singapore and its founding father Lee Kuan Yew!

3. More new citizens and foreign talents must live in Hougang as they are known to be moe patriotic to our country. As the old morons of Hougang dies off, these new patriotic citizens will take their place.

4. Tear down old Hougang HDB blocks which are not being upgraded and thereby posing a danger to their inhabtants. Build expensive condominiums and private properties as it is known that rich and educated people are more patriotic to the nation (Potong Pasir has proved this point).

5. All Hougang residents working for the public service, GLCs, companies run by patriotic Singaporeans like myself should be asked to state their political affiliations and undergo re-education programs if they are found to have been misled by the Opposition's brainwashing tactics!
 
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Sir_Fcuk

Lunch Corporal
Loyal
Brilliant! Why not allow china FT mei meis to serve at the new food court? Their abundant bosums will cause the old folk heart attacks from sexcitement and reduce the number of WP supporters in the next GE
 

PAPIBCHIEF

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
All I can say is that I have REPENTED.
These are crimes against humanity and it will have retributions...
 

erection2015

Alfrescian (InfP) + C
forget it la you dum dum....your political savvy is as low as your betting IQ .....somewhere below zero.:oIo:


The undeserved victory by WP's Png Eng Huat has really pissed me off :oIo:
Hence, I have devised a most brilliant plan for PAP to wrest back the control of Hougang from these WP infidels! My plan is simply brilliant and is sure to work!

My superb brilliant 5-point plan are as follows:
 

po2wq

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
... My superb brilliant 5-point plan are as follows: ...
ah loon has told me 2 inform u dat u can go ahead wif ur grandest 5-pt plan ...

ze oni compraint he has was dat instead of 5, u shud make it a 10-pt plan ...
 
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PrinceCharles

Alfrescian
Loyal
The proposed plan is too troublesome, demolishing homes etc..which may backfire and thus not a good idea unless anything done from the back is sexual.

But our MI5's take from another covert source, the "Sacred Toad" who has been gathering intelligence right smack in the core of the Opposition, blimey, far longer than the emailing secretarial service of the Secret Squirrel, says a guaranteed and more workable plan is simply to convert four MOE schools in Hougang as temporary abode for the influx of FTs who will be promised "instant citizenship".

In return, the new citizens must vote PAP or risk having their citizenship revoked. Each converted school plus the surrounding field will have space enough to house 4000 new citizens. With 4 schools accommodating 16,000 citizens, the WP's standard winning margin is now equal. Add on the already existing 3000 votes in favour of the PAP, a victory is assured.
To rub more salt to add insult to WP's "TeoChew old horse" injury, offer Pinoy FTs citizenship too if they are willing to take on jobs at Hougang coffee shops and cafes/restaurants, owners of which will be given special preferential treatment to hire such help at half the going rate wages. No one will complain since Hougang has never enjoyed any special treatment. With jobs assured in Hougang, the Pinoy new citizens will not only offer good service in English, far better than the PRCs, they form another backbone f ready voters for the PAP.

Given the many coffeeshops, restaurants and supermarkets --- both Seng Siong and FairPrice --- all in need for such workers, and at half salaries (remember no minimum wage rule mah, so perfectly legal) another 2000 voters are guaranteed.
So come next GE, taking Hougang from the Opposition is child play, so says our source, the Sacred Toad.
Brilliant, I'd say.
 

sta1100

Alfrescian
Loyal
Better solution, tear down all old HDB blk by doing so that can change all the die hard WP supporter to PAP supporter.
 

insignia

Alfrescian
Loyal
Why not just go for the jugular?

1) Increase GST to 25% for Hougang shops and business establishments only, so people will not shop in Hougang.

2) Stop all public transportation services to Hougang and establish a "restricted zone" where taxis are not allowed to enter. For Hougang residents, impose an additional $60,000 surcharge on top of the prevailing COE price if they wish to buy a car. This would make it impossible for Hougang residents to commute anywhere.

3) Increase income tax for Hougang residents to 50%.

4) Make it mandatory for Hougang residents (including women) to serve 5 years NS instead of 2. Also, their reservist call ups will take place 4 times a year.

5) Impose a curfew in Hougang, so that people may not leave their homes before 7 am and after 9 pm. Violation of this curfew will be punished with a $5,000 on-the-spot fine. Repeat offenders may be fined $20,000 and may be sentenced to 6 months imprisonment.

6) Instruct SP Services to increase the tariffs to Hougang. Electricity bills will be $1,500 per month. If residents are even one day late in making payment, all services will be immediately terminated.

7) Put up mobile disruption towers in Hougang, so that Hougang residents cannot access mobile services from SingTel, M1 or Starhub.

8) Instruct all government agencies and stat boards not to employ residents from Hougang (and Aljunied too, while we're at it).

And then, promise to REMOVE all of these sanctions once Hougang residents vote for PAP.

Guaranteed PAP win in the next election.

How about it?
 

insignia

Alfrescian
Loyal
Or maybe, the Elections Department (which reports to the PM's Office) could make voting non-confidential. An ISD officer, accompanied by an ED officer, will personally inspect each voter as they cast their vote into the ballot box.

If the voter chooses to vote for WP, the officials will 'counsel' them and inform them that they are making the wrong choice.

If the voter chooses to vote for PAP, an on-the-spot NTUC voucher worth $500 as well as a SP Services rebate voucher worth $500 will be instantly given. In addition, the voter will be entered into a lucky draw where 10 winners will be selected at random to receive $5,000 worth of free abalone porridge and shark's fin soup.

If a voter votes for WP more than 3 times in a row, their name will be entered into a lucky draw where 10 'winners' will be chosen at random to enter the annual Singapore HUNGER GAMES. The 10 contestants will duel to the death until only one remains. To be broadcast on MediaCorp TV and CNA. The TV rights to be sold to other countries, thus raising another $100 million in revenues for the PAP. The money will be used to pay out bonuses to PAP MPs and Ministers.
 

jw5

Moderator
Moderator
Loyal
This is my one point plan:

1. Tell TCH never to go and assist again.
 

kiss

Alfrescian
Loyal
Clinton666, why not PAP nominate you for next Hougang GE election ??

Yr political acumen is 2nd to none. Yr 5 points are the best i have ever seen to capture Hougang from WP.

I am sure if you add another 50 points, PAP will capture the whole SG in the next GE election :biggrin: :biggrin:


The undeserved victory by WP's Png Eng Huat has really pissed me off :oIo:
Hence, I have devised a most brilliant plan for PAP to wrest back the control of Hougang from these WP infidels! My plan is simply brilliant and is sure to work!

My superb brilliant 5-point plan are as follows:

1. DEMOLISH all coffeeshops and neighbourhood mom and pop shops in Hougang, which have been used a front for WP's illegal assemblies of riff raffs! A new spanking new mall run by CapitalMall will be built make these shops obsolete as the case in many estates and sparkling clean food courts offering a wide array of deilcious local food and fast food will take over the role of the coffeeshops! These will put many Hougang treasonous peasants out of work and turn them into beggars, and this will make the PAP's carrot that is dangled to them ever more enticing!

2. The principals and staff of all the schools in and around Hougang needs to be fired and replaced by more competent and patriotic Singaporeans, preferably those with PAP affiliations! These schools have failed to properly educated the young in loving the nation. All tertiary students living in Hougang needs to go through re-education programs to teach them about of the importance of being patriotic to Singapore and its founding father Lee Kuan Yew!

3. More new citizens and foreign talents must live in Hougang as they are known to be moe patriotic to our country. As the old morons of Hougang dies off, these new patriotic citizens will take their place.

4. Tear down old Hougang HDB blocks which are not being upgraded and thereby posing a danger to their inhabtants. Build expensive condominiums and private properties as it is known that rich and educated people are more patriotic to the nation (Potong Pasir has proved this point).

5. All Hougang residents working for the public service, GLCs, companies run by patriotic Singaporeans like myself should be asked to state their political affiliations and undergo re-education programs if they are found to have been misled by the Opposition's brainwashing tactics!
 

Wildfire

Alfrescian
Loyal
Brilliant Plan ... might just works!

I noticed most of the above plans are all using the sticks ... may I suggest you include some carrots to make them more platable for these peasants!

1. Free IMH consultation and boarding
2. Free Vouchers to uncles for visitation to "Chicken Coops" and massage palours
3. Provide free void decks massage and f##king services

I am sure the brothers here can list a lot more to entice our reluctant HG voters to join the cause!
 
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