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Daily Rubbish

ilovesingapore went to pharmacist to purchase anal deodorant.

pharmacist: i think such product do not exist.

ilovesingapore: but my husband kopiuncle has one. i think he used it.

pharmacist: do you have the product that i can refer as a sample reference????

ilovesingapore: here is the one that kopiuncle used. look at the instruction at bottom.

pharmacist looked at the instruction at the sample which reads

PUSH UP BOTTOM TO USE.


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Good for that chow cheebye steffychun to use on her own fucking cunt that she thinks is her mouth
 
teacher: kopison!!!! why are you bringing your cat to school this morning????????????

kopison: at breakfast my dad kopiuncle whispered to mum ilovesingapore, " i will eat the pussy after kopison goes to school".
 
ilovesingapore: doctor, doctor, my pee came out in 4 streams this morning. what is my problem???

doctor: lie down on examination bed, lift up your skirt take off panties ,open your legs wide and let me look.

ilovesingapore: what is my problem?? why are you giggling??

doctor: it is ok now, no more problem. i just removed a button from your pussy.


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pregnant ilovesingapore went to consult fortuneteller at fourhorsestreet about future of unborn baby.

fortuneteller: it is not going to be good, the father of the baby will die when baby is born.

ilovesingapore: oh, oh!!!!!!!!!! so it will mean my husband kopiuncle will be ok.. heng ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
kopiuncle took his wife ilovesingapore to a very posh dinner. to impress, ilovesingapore wore his finest.

before entering the banquet hall, ilovesingapore went to the the powder room and a cleaner lady was tidying room.

cleaninglady: l believe your diamond ear-rings must be the real stuff.

ilovesingapore very thrilled: yes, my husband kopiuncle bought them for me. but how can you tell????

cleaninglady: because nobody buys fake diamonds that tiny.



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the advert reads, for absolute great sex, you must use a ultra-sheer perfect size fitted condom. come for free sample,

responding to the ad, kopiuncle went to get one. everyone drop their pants and briefs was given one according to size.

after kopiuncle bared himself, the salesperson said: infant size is not yet available. sorry sir.!!!!!!!!!

 
after rimming session for pinky, kopiuncle ask pinky

kopiuncle: what is your favourite position?????????

pinky: doggy position, so can avoid looking at her face.

kopiuncle: ughhh!!!!!!!!!!
 
as very young children, kopiuncle and sister bathed in the same tub for first time, kopisis noticed a difference...

kopisis: can i touch that????

kopiuncle: no, no, no, you have broken yours.
 
a new teacher started the class by asking pupils to spell their name backwards from their mind only.

everyone spelled their own name backwards, but when kopidaughter turn came, the whole class burst out laughing.

teacher: kopidaughter, this is your turn, please spell your name......

kopidaughter: no, no, no, no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

teacher: please spell or tell us why not??????

the whole class in unison: because kopidaughter's name is LANA.

the teacher also join the class: hahahahhahahahahaaaa.............


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kopison: mummy, i saw kopiuncle daddy car last nite in east coast park. kopiuncle and auntie theblackhole took off each's clothes.

ilovesingapore: kopison, ok stop!!!! you can continue the same story over dinner when your kopiuncle daddy comes home.

kopiuncle: i'm home, a tiring day at work on top off overtime last nite. is dinner ready???

ilovesingapore: let's have dinner now, kopison has an interesting story to tell. now kopison tell what you saw last nite.

kopison: last nite at ecp, kopiuncle and auntie theblackhole took off each's clothes. then naked daddy climbed on top naked auntie.

they then did same as last week what naked ilovesingapore and naked uncle lionheart in the bedroom when kopiuncle was at work.


 
kopiuncle worked as stand-in bartender at bananaleg joint and there was no business that nite.

an old chappie ordered a beer and was asked to pay $6. he then placed $2 at each end of bar and another $2 at centre.

kopiuncle was quietly cursing having to walk to both ends to collect $4 and the centre for the remaining $2.

kopiuncle blood pressure rose to almost bursting point when old chappie did exactly same for 2nd and 3rd beer ordered.

for 4th order, old chappie had only $10 note, kopiuncle being vengeful person returned change with $2 at each end of bar counter.

old chappie drank 4th beer quietly and ignored what vengeful kopiuncle had done.

then old chappie ordered a 5th beer and after beer served, this time old chappie placed only a $2 at centre of bar counter.


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business is bad at desker road after the recent riots and ban of liquor sales. ilovesingapore left her whoring that evening.

walking along desker lane to go home, saw a medicineman selling breast enhancement lotion.

lovesingpore: is the lotion effective for even my runway flat chest???

medicineman: yes with regular use. only warning wash hands thoroughly after use, touching mouth will cause speech lmpediment

next morning, kopiuncle went to the kitchen breakfast table

kopiuncle: tholly, not habing blackpurse i am in a hully.

 
kopiuncle desperate to get more money to pay sammy to buy superpower status took part-time job selling vacuum cleaner.

doorbell not working at watten estate home, kopiuncle knocked the door. old lady opened door, and kopiuncle barged in.

kopiuncle: madam i am selling a super vacuun cleaner, if i throw this bag of rubbish on your carpetted floor, my..

old lady: no no no.... stop stop

kopiuncle listen please, my vacuum cleaner suck up every bit of rubbish or else i EAT them off your carpet.

old lady: don't don't don't DON"T DDDOOONNNTTTTT!!!!!, stop stop stop stop STOP STOPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....

kopiuncle: don't worry, i demonstrate, here goes this bag of rubbish onto your carpetted floor.

old lady: ohmigawd, i was trying to warn you of damaged electric cable in neighbourhood, no electricity for 3 days.
 
a police check on kopiuncle car in a deserted dark corner carpark at eastcoastpark well known for "parking" action.

kopiuncle was playing with his smartphone and a young girl was quietly knitting in the backseat.

policeofficer: hello, what are you two doing at this time of the nite in this carpark??????

kopiuncle: oh officer, i am just relaxing myself, and the girl is knitting, while waiting for midnite, then she will be 18.

 
kopiuncle: doctor, doctor i have a problem. but promise you don't laugh.....

doctor: i am absolute professional, seen and heard almost everything. no worry, so go ahead.

kopiuncle the dropped his pants and the doctor laughed so hard till fell off chair. never seen such a micro towgay size prick before.

doctor: i am really really sorry. what is your problem????

kopiuncle: can't you see? it is swollen.


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last nite, kopiuncle wore sleeveless T-shirt displaying his new tattoo acquired from thailand trip to golden mile for supper.

seated at a thai eatery, a waitress handed him a menu and gave a BIG smile after seeing his tattoo.

waitress: can i have your order?????

kopiuncle:wait, let me look at the menu first. oh, you like my thai tattoo, now my thai name is อวัยวะเพศชายขนาดเล็ก.

after a while kopiuncle: i am ready to order miss.

waitress. ok!!!! small penis, i take your order now.
 
this happened in the younger days of kopiuncle who was then reckless as well as brainless.

kopiuncle took a girl for a spin along changi coastal road, car slammed the kerb at power substation, and the girl flew out
through front wind screen. this left kopiuncle screaming and screaming and screaming even with arrival of the ambulance.

ambulanceattendant: stop your screaming sir!!, you are luckier than your dead girl friend, her head smashed into the drain.

kopiuncle still in painful sreech: you obviously not seen what she got in her mouth.
 
hear all, here is another sad sad story of kopiuncle

after learning hypnotism for a short while, kopiuncle did part-time performances at unlicenced bar at a bananaleg joint.

on one occasion, kopiuncle called for 9 volunteers and he managed to hypnotise all in one go.

to entertain the small crowd present, kopiuncle ordered the hypnotised persons on his left and right to slap each other.

not surprising, the persons to the right and left of kopiuncle slapped one another vigorously.

but one of them hit the microphone from kopiuncle's hand and dropped onto kopiuncle's toes.

kopiuncle yelped loudly in pain and screamed: FUCK ME

and the 9 hynotised volunteers descended onto kopiuncle, and the small crowd gave a deafening thunderous applause.

in the end, an ambulance had to be called and kopiuncle's arsehole needed a dozen stitches,.


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kopiuncle bought a lie detector robot which socks a liar on the face, took home and first test on kopison.

kopiuncle: kopison, where were you today during schooltime??
kopison: at school. kopison received sock on the face
kopison: ok, i went to the movie.
kopiuncle: which movie??
kopison: bad grandpa at leisuredrome. kopison received another sock on the face
kopison: i went to watch porn movie at yangtse cinema
kopiuncle: what the fish!! when i was your age, i do not know what porn was.
ilovesingapore:hahahhahhaaa... after all he is your son
this time, ilovesingapore received a sock on her face.
 
hear all, here is another sad sad story of kopiuncle

after learning hypnotism for a short while, kopiuncle did part-time performances at unlicenced bar at a bananaleg joint.

on one occasion, kopiuncle called for 9 volunteers and he managed to hypnotise all in one go.

to entertain the small crowd present, kopiuncle ordered the hypnotised persons on his left and right to slap each other.

not surprising, the persons to the right and left of kopiuncle slapped one another vigorously.

but one of them hit the microphone from kopiuncle's hand and dropped onto kopiuncle's toes.

kopiuncle yelped loudly in pain and screamed: FUCK ME

and the 9 hynotised volunteers descended onto kopiuncle, and the small crowd gave a deafening thunderous applause.

in the end, an ambulance had to be called and kopiuncle's arsehole needed a dozen stitches,.


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ROFL this is funny please include lionheart too
 
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