Daily Rubbish

[bakkuttay]

a while ago, kopiuncle and his clan received this sms

" 3 7 0 H S S V - 0 7 7 3 H "

kopiuncle went around asking his friends what is mean by this sms.

.

.

then a friend seated opposite asked him to read sms upside down
.

 

[bakkuttay]

kopiuncle desparate to pay for his nuclear power status, again worked as part-time bar-tender at bananaleg.

business was slow, and kopiuncle was cleaning glasses infront of two customers seated at bar-counter.

sammysam: sammyleong, i put $200 in front me, you put $50 infront of you.

sammyleong: why? what for?

sammysam: bet, without touching you, i can turn your hands. i fail, you take my $200. successful i win your $50.

sammyleong: no way! i never like to gamble.

kopiuncle thought: what a good opportunity to make $200

kopiuncle: can i bet with you, sammysam???

sammysam: sure or not, kopiuncle you will regret if you lose.

kopiuncle: no problem, here is $50 next to your $200.

sammysam: ok then, stretch your hands forward.

kopiuncle put his hand forward as instructed

sammysam: no no , the opposite way

kopiuncle then turn his hands over.

sammysam: see, kopiuncle you turn over your hands without my touching them

sammysam then took his $200 and kopiuncle $50 and left the bar with sammyleong laughing and laughing and laughing.

stoooooopig dumb dumb kopiuncle kena fucked again.

.

 

[bakkuttay]

kopiuncle, tigerbright and lionheart went for a hike around cameron highlands, got lost. decide to sleep under a rock by a stream.

woken up middle of nite, taken deeper into the jungle and then tied to trees by a group of fiercelooking jungle tribesmen.

in the morning were ordered to go into the jungle to collect 6 fruits each and return soonest, punished and then released.

tigerbright returned with 6 berries, and kopiuncle returned with 6 rambutans, and lionheart still not reurned yet.

then, tribesmen pushed tigerbright facedown on the ground and stuffed the 6 berries in his arsehole. bearable for tigerbright.

likewise 6 rambutans were stuffed into kopiuncle arsehole, kopiuncle felt some discomfort but still feel ok.

then they heard lionheart crashing out of the jungle, looked up and saw lionheart carrying 6 durians.

.

 

[Brubeck]

kopiuncle, tigerbright and lionheart went for a hike around cameron highlands, got lost. decide to sleep under a rock by a stream.

woken up middle of nite, taken deeper into the jungle and then tied to trees by a group of fiercelooking jungle tribesmen.

in the morning were ordered to go into the jungle to collect 6 fruits each and return soonest, punished and then released.

tigerbright returned with 6 berries, and kopiuncle returned with 6 rambutans, and lionheart still not reurned yet.

then, tribesmen pushed tigerbright facedown on the ground and stuffed the 6 berries in his arsehole. bearable for tigerbright.

likewise 6 rambutans were stuffed into kopiuncle arsehole, kopiuncle felt some discomfort but still feel ok.

then they heard lionheart crashing out of the jungle, looked up and saw lionheart carrying 6 durians.

.

hahahaha ...... good one !

 

[bakkuttay]

kopiuncle was in IMH for psychiatric electric shock treatment, sent for assessment of his mental state to qualify release.

taken to a room with bath-tub, handed a cup and a bucket, then IMH supervisor turned on tap to fill bath-tub.

when the bath was more than half full......... kopiuncle could resist opening his mouth to show off his "intelligence"

kopiuncle: i know, you testing me as a normal person, empty bath-tub using cup or bucket. of course i use bucket.

IMH supervisor: oh. a normal person will pull out the plug from the bath tub.

result written on the report - detention extended by another month

 

[bakkuttay]

holidaying in seoul south korea, ilovesingapore last nite called kopiuncle

ilovesingapore: darling kopiuncle, it is so cold in seoul, and the snow is acidic. my window also freeze.

kopiuncle: never mind, go enjoy yourself. now go pour hot water on the window and it will be ok.

ilovesingapore: ok darling kopiuncle, i do it right away.

15 minutes later, kopiuncle received another call.

ilovesingapore: darling, i poured hot water on window, my laptop now damaged. how??????

 

[Jah_rastafar_I]

kopiuncle, tigerbright and lionheart went for a hike around cameron highlands, got lost. decide to sleep under a rock by a stream.

woken up middle of nite, taken deeper into the jungle and then tied to trees by a group of fiercelooking jungle tribesmen.

in the morning were ordered to go into the jungle to collect 6 fruits each and return soonest, punished and then released.

tigerbright returned with 6 berries, and kopiuncle returned with 6 rambutans, and lionheart still not reurned yet.

then, tribesmen pushed tigerbright facedown on the ground and stuffed the 6 berries in his arsehole. bearable for tigerbright.

likewise 6 rambutans were stuffed into kopiuncle arsehole, kopiuncle felt some discomfort but still feel ok.

then they heard lionheart crashing out of the jungle, looked up and saw lionheart carrying 6 durians.

.

HAHAHA this stupid lion butt needs a good one.

 

[bakkuttay]

all the toilets on the plane were used, kopiuncle begged hostess for assistance in view of his urgency.

hostess relented and took him to staff toilet and warned, reminded him not to touch controls inside. kopiuncle agreed.

when using, kopiuncle saw on the side wall 4 buttons marked WW, WA, PP, and ATR.

as usual, liar, inquisitive and thought himself a smart arsehole, kopiuncle pressed button WW.

a jet of warm water directed at his arsehole, kopiuncle felt nice and could not resist the button WA.

a jet of warm air blowed at arsehole. kopiuncle felt great with handsfree toilet, of course pressed button PP.

a small blast of powder aimed his perineum. washed, dried and powdered, kopiuncle happily pressed ATR.

then suddenly, kopiuncle yelped, with scream echoing throughout the plane and then fainted.

kopiuncle finally overcame the general anaesthetic and wakened in pain to see a nurse attending to him.

kopiuncle weakly: nurse, what happened to me? i remembered using the plane toilet and then i passed off.

nurse: oh you pressed the ATR button in toilet known as "Auto Tampon Removal" function.

nurse then opened door to leave, but turned around: by the way your penis is under your pillow.

 

[bakkuttay]

ilovesingapore was told by the doctor that she has an exceptionally large vagina.

when home, ilovesingapore took off her clothes, put a mirror on the floor and straddled over it to get a better look.

just then hubby kopiuncle came in.

ilovesingapore: oh, i dropped my ear-ring and i am picking it up before going to the bathroom for a shower.

kopiuncle: ok! but do be careful not to step into the big hole under you.

 

[bakkuttay]

one morning, there was knocking on the door, ilovesingapore opened the door.

before ilovesingapore could say anything, the man asked: do you have a vagina?????

ilovesingapore just slammed the door shut and continued with her housework.

exactly the same thing happened the following morning. ilovesingapore then told kopiuncle about this

kopiuncle: i am on leave tomorrow, if the man comes, open the door and say yes. i will stand behind the door.

the third morning, ilovesingapore again opening door to the knocking. the man asked: do you have a vagina????

ilovesingapore: yes of course.

the man: then tell your husband kopiuncle to use yours and stay away from my wife's vagina.
.

 

[bakkuttay]

previous sunday, ilovesingapore went to church with kopiuncle son to church

kopison: ilovesingapore mummy, i want to go for a pee.

ilovesingapore: do not say pee in church, just tell me you want to whisper.

yesterday kopiuncle went to church with his son.

kopison: kopiuncle daddy, i want to whisper.

kopiuncle: ok son, just whisper into my ear.

 

[bakkuttay]

kopiuncle: lionheart, everytime passing singapore custom on way from jb, you walked tight small steps as though stomachache.

lionheart: this always appear to customs that i am concealing illegal drugs between my legs or in my.......

kopiuncle: why you always subject yourself to body search by the custom officers???????.

lionheart: i lke them to finger my anus searching for drugs. i feel intense pleasure by this finger fuck.

kopiuncle: uughhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[bakkuttay]

ilovesingapore: darling kopiuncle, how do i look today??????

kopiuncle: well i can only say a b c d e f g h....

ilovesingapore: what the heck is that???

kopiuncle: i say they mean, adorable, beautiful, cute, desireable, elegant, foxy, georgeous, hot

ilovesingapore: very very nice, anymore darling kopiuncle.

kopiuncle: if you insist, i j k.

ilovesingapore: oh darling, what are i j k?????

kopiuncle: i'm just kidding.

 

[bakkuttay]

ilovesingapore: yesterday, from your pocket, there s piece of paper with theblackhole written on it. who is she?????

kopiuncle: ilovesingapore darling, it is a tip of name of horse to bet for coming singapore friday race.

kopiuncle then continued to read his favourite newspaper, the SHIT-TIMES.

kopiuncle: hey!!!!!!!!!!!, what now, why are you hitting me with the pot????

ilovesingapore: your horse is on the phone.

 

[bakkuttay]

kopiuncle once worked as a taxidriver, picked up a nun for a fare.

nun: why are you looking at me so intently through the rear mirror?????

kopiuncle: oh! for a long time, i always fantasize having a blowjob done by a nun.

nun: you have naughty thoughts. ok, on 2 conditions. you must be single and two you must be staunched catholic.

kopiuncle: yes, i am single and goes to a catholic church in siglap.

nun: well drive to the quiet heavy vehicle carpark at fort road and choose a isolated corner now.

after the blowjob, kopiuncle started to cry unbashfully aloud.

kopiuncle: i am actually married and goes to taoist temple in bedok. i have sinned bad. i am also a liar.

nun: well it is ok, i am sammyboy, i am dressed up to go for a fancy dress party.

 

[bakkuttay]

ilovesingapore was sitting in an illegal bananaleg bar drinking a fruit punch, was approached by another drinker.

drinker: can i offer you a beer lady?????

ilovesingapore: sorry, i cannot take alcohol. will give problem to my legs.

drinker: does alocohol make your legs swell???

ilovesingapore: no alcohol makes my legs want to spread apart.

 

[bakkuttay]

lionheart: do you have sex with ilovesingapore all the time?

kopiuncle: yes , ever since we were married many many years ago.

lionheart: have you tried putting into the other hole??

kopiuncle: no no!!!! i don't want to risk her getting pregnant again.

 

[bakkuttay]

kopiuncle desperate for cash to pay himself and clones to be nuclear power again went part-time at bananaleg bar last week.

after serving a drinker seated at dark corner a few beers, the drinker moved to bar counter for another drink, started talking.

drinker: hi, i bet you $500, i can pee sitting here to glass on counter without a drop outside, but you must hold glass tightly,

kopiuncle in his mind thought easy win: ONNNNN!!!!! in the end of pee, if any drop on the outside on counter, you lose.

drinker a bit tipsy, fumbled $500 onto counter: you can only win at the finish of my pee.

kopiuncleuncle nodded ok and held a glass, drinker clumsily took his prick and sprayed onto the counter and kopiuncle hands.

kopiuncle: hahahahhaahahahahaaa,,, you lose, thanks very much for the $500.

drinker: it is ok, i just betted $2000 with that man lionheart there i pee onto you and the counter, you will not be angry.

kopuncle: uuggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[bakkuttay]

lionheart: ohmigawd!!! kopiuncle, why both your cheeks so red this morning???

kopiuncle: ilovesingapore did not go for operation to remove the enlarged lips of her vagina,

lionheart: but what that has to do with your reddened cheeks??

kopiuncle: this morning when my tongue reached her clit, her orgasm caused her enlarged flaps to slap me left right nonstop.

.

 

[bakkuttay]

ilovesingapore, she was playing golf, gave a hard swing and fell down.

pinky was behind, quickly help her up back on her feet. then when walking away she heard

pinky: i am pinky, remember to support me in 2016

turning around ilovesingapore: i fell on my ass and not on my head
.