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Daily Rubbish
- Thread starter bakkuttay
- Start date
when kopiuncle was in IMH, everyday he will put his ear to the wall till bedtime.
the superintendent observed this been going on for 6 months since kopiuncle was sent in..
finally the superintendent also put his ear to the wall and listened intendly.
superintendent: kopiuncle!! i hear absolutely nothing, what is going on????
kopiuncle: yes i know, it has been like that all the time.
the superintendent observed this been going on for 6 months since kopiuncle was sent in..
finally the superintendent also put his ear to the wall and listened intendly.
superintendent: kopiuncle!! i hear absolutely nothing, what is going on????
kopiuncle: yes i know, it has been like that all the time.
last night the operaor at IMH received a call
"please check whether ward 69 bed 74 is empty???"
operator after checking : " yes there no one on bed 74." and put down the phone
" that mean i have really escaped, can go home to ilovesingapore now"
kopiuncle muttering to himself
"please check whether ward 69 bed 74 is empty???"
operator after checking : " yes there no one on bed 74." and put down the phone
" that mean i have really escaped, can go home to ilovesingapore now"
kopiuncle muttering to himself
after escaping from IMH, kopiuncle sneaked home quietly in order not to invite attention of neighbours.
opening door to bedroom, he saw his best friend humping ilovesingapore.
tiptoeing to kitchen, kopiuncle took a knife, went back to bedroom and stabbed his best friend.
ilovesingapore: if you can keep on doing this, soon you will have no more friends left
next episode later tonite
opening door to bedroom, he saw his best friend humping ilovesingapore.
tiptoeing to kitchen, kopiuncle took a knife, went back to bedroom and stabbed his best friend.
ilovesingapore: if you can keep on doing this, soon you will have no more friends left
next episode later tonite
the stupidest action for an escapee or fugitive to go or call home. this was what kopiuncle did and was apprehended.
IMH superintendent: why did you run away???
kopiuncle: i was bullied and harassed!!!!!!
IMH superintendent: well!!!! how did you take it???
kopiuncle: up my arsehole of course.
IMH superintendent: why did you run away???
kopiuncle: i was bullied and harassed!!!!!!
IMH superintendent: well!!!! how did you take it???
kopiuncle: up my arsehole of course.
kopiuncle was called to the personnel office.
personnel officer: kopiuncle, do you believe in life after death?
kopiuncle: all in sammyboy knows i am very superstitious, of course i believe. why do you ask?????
personnel officer: then there is no problem. yesterday after you left for ilovesingapore funeral, she came looking for you.
personnel officer: kopiuncle, do you believe in life after death?
kopiuncle: all in sammyboy knows i am very superstitious, of course i believe. why do you ask?????
personnel officer: then there is no problem. yesterday after you left for ilovesingapore funeral, she came looking for you.
after servicing client, theblackhole and client left the room and a boy came in from the main door.
theblackhole: this is the stooopidest boy in the neighbourhood. i show it to you.
theblackhole held a 2 dollar note in one hand and 2 50c coins in the other to let boy pick. boy took the 2 50c coin and ran out.
theblackhole: there, i proved how stoooopid the boy is.
client left whorehouse and met boy licking a ice-cream: why did you not take the 2 dollar note?????
to which, the little boy answered: if i had taken the 2 dollar note, it will be game over. and continued to enjoy ice-cream
theblackhole: this is the stooopidest boy in the neighbourhood. i show it to you.
theblackhole held a 2 dollar note in one hand and 2 50c coins in the other to let boy pick. boy took the 2 50c coin and ran out.
theblackhole: there, i proved how stoooopid the boy is.
client left whorehouse and met boy licking a ice-cream: why did you not take the 2 dollar note?????
to which, the little boy answered: if i had taken the 2 dollar note, it will be game over. and continued to enjoy ice-cream
kopiuncle now worried of being decapitated along the roadside, decided from now on to walk under blocks of hdb flats.
one drunken night, some-one from the floor above threw down a bedsheet filled with shit and landed directly on him.
he struggled very hard for a while and managed to get the bedsheet off him, but kopiuncle was already covered with shit all over.
not wanting to look silly, and with his ah Q mentality he told a bystander witness.
kopiuncle: there you see, i can still be the shit out of a ghost.
one drunken night, some-one from the floor above threw down a bedsheet filled with shit and landed directly on him.
he struggled very hard for a while and managed to get the bedsheet off him, but kopiuncle was already covered with shit all over.
not wanting to look silly, and with his ah Q mentality he told a bystander witness.
kopiuncle: there you see, i can still be the shit out of a ghost.
kopiuncle was a lonely soul when at IMH, whereas inmate at next bed just had visitors who brought food, candies and magazines.
kopiuncle went to sit at the chair at next bed to look at magazines. seeing some nuts on plate, slowly eat all. then inmate woke up.
kopiuncle: sorry i have eaten all the nuts on your plate whilst looking at your magazine.
fellow inmate: it is alright, i have already sucked out the chocolate from the nuts
kopiuncle went to sit at the chair at next bed to look at magazines. seeing some nuts on plate, slowly eat all. then inmate woke up.
kopiuncle: sorry i have eaten all the nuts on your plate whilst looking at your magazine.
fellow inmate: it is alright, i have already sucked out the chocolate from the nuts
last night ilovesingapore gave a loud scream. kopiuncle ran to the bedroom just in time to see man jump out of window.
ilovesingapore: that man screwed me TWICE!!!!!!
kopiuncle: why didn’t you scream the first time?
ilovesingapore: i thought it was you, until he screwed the second time.
ilovesingapore: that man screwed me TWICE!!!!!!
kopiuncle: why didn’t you scream the first time?
ilovesingapore: i thought it was you, until he screwed the second time.
kopiuncle after many sleepless nights went to consult a psychiatrist,
kopiuncle: i have a problem when i go to bed, i imagine someone under bed. when i go under bed, i imagine someone on bed.
psychiatrist: easily fixed. now ring your maid to open the door, i send someone to fix it by the time you reach home, relax now!
having settle the doc's bill, kopiuncle went home and opened the bedroom door. someone already sawed off the 4 legs of the bed
kopiuncle: i have a problem when i go to bed, i imagine someone under bed. when i go under bed, i imagine someone on bed.
psychiatrist: easily fixed. now ring your maid to open the door, i send someone to fix it by the time you reach home, relax now!
having settle the doc's bill, kopiuncle went home and opened the bedroom door. someone already sawed off the 4 legs of the bed
ilovesingapore went to consult a doctor how to lose her ballooning weight of 120kg.
doctor: ok, just diet for 2 days, skip 1 day, and diet for 2 days, follow this routine for every week, you will lose 10kg.
a fortnite later, ilovesingapore went for reappointment with the doctor.
doctor: oh gosh, expected you to lose only 20kg in a fortnite, but how come you look like losing 50kg.
ilovesingapore: the dieting part is easy, but the skipping for a day almost killed me.
doctor: ok, just diet for 2 days, skip 1 day, and diet for 2 days, follow this routine for every week, you will lose 10kg.
a fortnite later, ilovesingapore went for reappointment with the doctor.
doctor: oh gosh, expected you to lose only 20kg in a fortnite, but how come you look like losing 50kg.
ilovesingapore: the dieting part is easy, but the skipping for a day almost killed me.
kopiuncle went to stay at a friend's farm for weekend, and was helping himself to a large glass of milk in the kitchen.
friend walked in: sorry kopiuncle, i just went to get some breakfast from the village for you. what are you drinking?????
kopiuncle: i just got some milk directly from the cows from rear shed. took me a lot of effort and few cows to collect this milk.
farmer: but, but, but, kopiuncle, my farm only keep and breed bulls. you are probably drinking.......???????
friend walked in: sorry kopiuncle, i just went to get some breakfast from the village for you. what are you drinking?????
kopiuncle: i just got some milk directly from the cows from rear shed. took me a lot of effort and few cows to collect this milk.
farmer: but, but, but, kopiuncle, my farm only keep and breed bulls. you are probably drinking.......???????
kopiuncle had a bad quarrel over breakfast with wife ilovesngapore with nasty exchanges. kopiuncle before slamming door.
kopiuncle: ilovesingapore, you are not that good in bed either.
kopumcle, after cooling down a few hours over his extremities, call home to apologies. after a long while, ilovesingapore answered.
kopiuncle: dear, why did you take so long to answer the phone??????
ilovesingapore: i am still in bed.
kopiuncle: dear, why are you still in bed at this time?
ilovesingapore: i am seeking a second opinion.
kopiuncle: ilovesingapore, you are not that good in bed either.
kopumcle, after cooling down a few hours over his extremities, call home to apologies. after a long while, ilovesingapore answered.
kopiuncle: dear, why did you take so long to answer the phone??????
ilovesingapore: i am still in bed.
kopiuncle: dear, why are you still in bed at this time?
ilovesingapore: i am seeking a second opinion.
kopiuncle was jealous of ilovesingspore affair, went to orchard towers pub and met a shapely girl.
kopiuncle took her for a spin that nite and then went for walk along east coast parkway.
not being able to find a toilet, kopiuncle pointed her to go behind the bush for a pee.
when the girl went behind the bush, the lust in kopiuncle made him move towards the bush and put his hand forward.
kopiuncle felt the smoothest thigh ever, moving the fingers up between the legs and then felt a soft appendage.
kopiuncle yelped: ohmigawd, ohmigawd!!!!!!, don't tell me you are a man.
prettygirl: no kopiuncle, instead of pee, i decided to shit also.
kopiuncle took her for a spin that nite and then went for walk along east coast parkway.
not being able to find a toilet, kopiuncle pointed her to go behind the bush for a pee.
when the girl went behind the bush, the lust in kopiuncle made him move towards the bush and put his hand forward.
kopiuncle felt the smoothest thigh ever, moving the fingers up between the legs and then felt a soft appendage.
kopiuncle yelped: ohmigawd, ohmigawd!!!!!!, don't tell me you are a man.
prettygirl: no kopiuncle, instead of pee, i decided to shit also.
when driving to pay visit to sammy to thank for all the upz, kopiuncle had a flat tyre just outside IMH in nz
while changing the tyre, kopiuncle accidentally knocked the hub cap with the 4 bolts into deep murky drain.
while desperately trying in vain to fish the bolts and hub cap, a voice came from behind the fence yelled to him.
the voice: remove a bolt each from each of remaining 3 tyres for 4th tyre, drive slowly until you find a motor shop.
after temporarily fixing the flat wheel, kopiuncle turned to the person behind the voice in IMH
kopiuncle: you are so smart, why are you in the mental hospital?????
the voice: i maybe crazy, but i am not STOOOOOOOPIG!!!!!!!!!
.
while changing the tyre, kopiuncle accidentally knocked the hub cap with the 4 bolts into deep murky drain.
while desperately trying in vain to fish the bolts and hub cap, a voice came from behind the fence yelled to him.
the voice: remove a bolt each from each of remaining 3 tyres for 4th tyre, drive slowly until you find a motor shop.
after temporarily fixing the flat wheel, kopiuncle turned to the person behind the voice in IMH
kopiuncle: you are so smart, why are you in the mental hospital?????
the voice: i maybe crazy, but i am not STOOOOOOOPIG!!!!!!!!!
.
ilovesingapore went to pharmacist to purchase anal deodorant.
pharmacist: i think such product do not exist.
ilovesingapore: but my husband kopiuncle has one. i think he used it.
pharmacist: do you have the product that i can refer as a sample reference????
ilovesingapore: here is the one that kopiuncle used. look at the instruction at bottom.
pharmacist looked at the instruction at the sample which reads
PUSH UP BOTTOM TO USE.
.
pharmacist: i think such product do not exist.
ilovesingapore: but my husband kopiuncle has one. i think he used it.
pharmacist: do you have the product that i can refer as a sample reference????
ilovesingapore: here is the one that kopiuncle used. look at the instruction at bottom.
pharmacist looked at the instruction at the sample which reads
PUSH UP BOTTOM TO USE.
.
Last edited:
even in his dream kopiuncle dreamt of backside getting screwed. read on
superman flew to run a mission. on the way, saw wonderwoman lying on the rooftop with legs wide open, display her pussy.
superman thought: "i could fly at super lightning speed, screw wonderwoman and fly off.
wonderwoman will not know who did it?"
so superman just swoop down for a lightning quick fuck and went off
wonderwoman asked: what's that??
"i don't know but my arsehole hurts bad." said kopiuncle the invisibleman who was atop wonderwoman.
superman flew to run a mission. on the way, saw wonderwoman lying on the rooftop with legs wide open, display her pussy.
superman thought: "i could fly at super lightning speed, screw wonderwoman and fly off.
wonderwoman will not know who did it?"
so superman just swoop down for a lightning quick fuck and went off
wonderwoman asked: what's that??
"i don't know but my arsehole hurts bad." said kopiuncle the invisibleman who was atop wonderwoman.
ilovesingapore picked up the phone to make a call.
ilovesingapore: it is raining, i cannot go for our blind date now, so let's call it off.
blinddate: rain is not good enough a reason to cancel our blind date.
ilovesingapore: why do you say so???
blinddate: anyhow, you are still going to get wet at the end of the day.
.
ilovesingapore: it is raining, i cannot go for our blind date now, so let's call it off.
blinddate: rain is not good enough a reason to cancel our blind date.
ilovesingapore: why do you say so???
blinddate: anyhow, you are still going to get wet at the end of the day.
.
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