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Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine
- Thread starter yinyang
- Start date
Wisdom (from Mugabe) :p
African senior leader, President Robert Mugabe is famous for his pithy one liners...
1. Girls' legs are like rumours.. They spread anyhow...!
2. No sex before marriage?
If that was God's plan you would receive your Penis or Vagina on your wedding day...!
3. Whenever things seem to start going well in your life, the Devil comes along and gives you a girlfriend..
4. Sucking breast is a survival skill guys learnt at birth.
But as to how and where girls learnt the art of sucking Dicks still baffles me...!
5. If you are ugly, you are ugly. Stop talking about inner beauty cos we dont walk around with X-rays.
6. Respect pregnant women - because it's not easy walking around in public with evidence that you've been fucked.
Fucking Hilarious
African senior leader, President Robert Mugabe is famous for his pithy one liners...
1. Girls' legs are like rumours.. They spread anyhow...!
2. No sex before marriage?
If that was God's plan you would receive your Penis or Vagina on your wedding day...!
3. Whenever things seem to start going well in your life, the Devil comes along and gives you a girlfriend..
4. Sucking breast is a survival skill guys learnt at birth.
But as to how and where girls learnt the art of sucking Dicks still baffles me...!
5. If you are ugly, you are ugly. Stop talking about inner beauty cos we dont walk around with X-rays.
6. Respect pregnant women - because it's not easy walking around in public with evidence that you've been fucked.
Fucking Hilarious
What is the Difference between Wife and Girlfriend?
Great Thought in Modified Version....
Wife is like a TV and Girlfriend is like a MOBILE.
At home u watch TV, but when u go out u take ur MOBILE.
Sometimes u enjoy TV.
But most of the time, u play with ur MOBILE.
TV is (as good as)free for life.But for the MOBILE, if you don't pay, the services will be terminated.
TV is big, bulky and most of the time old.
But the MOBILE is cute, slim, curvy and portable.
Operational costs for TV is often acceptable.
But for the MOBILE, it is often high and demanding.
TV has a remote.
But MOBILE doesn't.
Most importantly, MOBILE is a two-way communication (u talk and listen)
But with the TV, you MUST only listen (whether you want to or not)!!!!
Last but not least....!
Yet TV s are superior because
TVs don't have viruses, but MOBILEs often do....!!!!
Issued in Public interest!
.
.
.
Great Thought in Modified Version....
Wife is like a TV and Girlfriend is like a MOBILE.
At home u watch TV, but when u go out u take ur MOBILE.
Sometimes u enjoy TV.
But most of the time, u play with ur MOBILE.
TV is (as good as)free for life.But for the MOBILE, if you don't pay, the services will be terminated.
TV is big, bulky and most of the time old.
But the MOBILE is cute, slim, curvy and portable.
Operational costs for TV is often acceptable.
But for the MOBILE, it is often high and demanding.
TV has a remote.
But MOBILE doesn't.
Most importantly, MOBILE is a two-way communication (u talk and listen)
But with the TV, you MUST only listen (whether you want to or not)!!!!
Last but not least....!
Yet TV s are superior because
TVs don't have viruses, but MOBILEs often do....!!!!
Issued in Public interest!
.
A Guy in a hurry used the
ladies toilet in a posh
hotel..
He sat dow n and
noticed four buttons -
WW, WA, PP & APR...
Curious, he pressed WW &
his butt was gently
sprayed with WARM
WATER,
he loved it so much..!!
He then pressed WA & a
blast of WARM AIR dried
him up. Still loving it...,
He pressed PP & a
POWDER PUFF to make him smell fresh.
Feeling pampered..,
He decided to press the last button APR.
He later woke up in a
hospital
A Nurse smiled & said to
him "Sir, APR means
AUTOMATIC PAD REMOVER.
Your balls are in the jar
over there!!
Don't laugh alone share it with friends!!
ladies toilet in a posh
hotel..
He sat dow n and
noticed four buttons -
WW, WA, PP & APR...
Curious, he pressed WW &
his butt was gently
sprayed with WARM
WATER,
he loved it so much..!!
He then pressed WA & a
blast of WARM AIR dried
him up. Still loving it...,
He pressed PP & a
POWDER PUFF to make him smell fresh.
Feeling pampered..,
He decided to press the last button APR.
He later woke up in a
hospital
A Nurse smiled & said to
him "Sir, APR means
AUTOMATIC PAD REMOVER.
Your balls are in the jar
over there!!
Don't laugh alone share it with friends!!
1st aid :p
Sitting at home a man is sitting with his wife watching TV and tossing peanuts into the air and catching them in his mouth. The man loses concentration for a split second and a peanut goes into his ear.
He tries to get it out, but succeeds only in forcing the thing in awfully deep.
After a few hours of fruitless rooting, the couple decide to go to the hospital, but on their way out of the front door, they meet their daughter coming in with her boyfriend.
The boyfriend takes control of the situation; he tells them he's studying medicine and that they're not to worry about a thing.
He then sticks two fingers up the man's nose and asks him to blow...... lo & behold, the nut shoots from the ear and out across the room.
As the daughter and her boyfriend go through to the kitchen to get drinks, the man and his wife sit down to discuss their luck.
"So....." the wife says, "What do you think he'll become after he finishes school? A GP or a surgeon?"
"Well....." says the man, rubbing his nose, *By the smell of his fingers, I think he's likely to become a gynaecologist*
Sitting at home a man is sitting with his wife watching TV and tossing peanuts into the air and catching them in his mouth. The man loses concentration for a split second and a peanut goes into his ear.
He tries to get it out, but succeeds only in forcing the thing in awfully deep.
After a few hours of fruitless rooting, the couple decide to go to the hospital, but on their way out of the front door, they meet their daughter coming in with her boyfriend.
The boyfriend takes control of the situation; he tells them he's studying medicine and that they're not to worry about a thing.
He then sticks two fingers up the man's nose and asks him to blow...... lo & behold, the nut shoots from the ear and out across the room.
As the daughter and her boyfriend go through to the kitchen to get drinks, the man and his wife sit down to discuss their luck.
"So....." the wife says, "What do you think he'll become after he finishes school? A GP or a surgeon?"
"Well....." says the man, rubbing his nose, *By the smell of his fingers, I think he's likely to become a gynaecologist*
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