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Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine
- Thread starter yinyang
- Start date
Bad Hombres Training for the GREAT WALL OF TRUMP!!
Econs lesson
A little fun economics to lighten up your day ....
Wife to her Accountant husband:
what is inflation?
Husband:
Earlier you were 36-24-36. But now you are
48-40-48.
Though you have everything bigger than before, your value has become less than before.
This is INFLATION
-------
Economics is not that difficult if we have the right examples.
Interviewer: What is Recession?
Candidate: When "Wine & Women" get replaced by "Water & Wife", that critical phase of life is called Recession!!��
Accountancy fact:
What is the difference between Liability & Asset?
A drunk friend is liability.
But,
A drunk Girlfriend is an Asset.
An Economist beautifully explained two reasons for having 2 wives.
A- Monopoly should be broken.
B- Competition improves the quality of service.
If u have 1 wife, She fights with u!
If u have 2 wives, They will fight for you!!
----------------------------
When you are in love,
Wonders happen.
But once you get married,
You wonder, what happened.
----------------------------
Philosophy of marriage :
At the beginning,
every wife treats her husband as GOD..
Later, somehow don't know why..
alphabets get reversed..
----------------------------
Secret formula for married couples...
"Love One Another"
And if it doesn't work, bring the last word in the middle.!!!!
A little fun economics to lighten up your day ....
Wife to her Accountant husband:
what is inflation?
Husband:
Earlier you were 36-24-36. But now you are
48-40-48.
Though you have everything bigger than before, your value has become less than before.
This is INFLATION
-------
Economics is not that difficult if we have the right examples.
Interviewer: What is Recession?
Candidate: When "Wine & Women" get replaced by "Water & Wife", that critical phase of life is called Recession!!��
Accountancy fact:
What is the difference between Liability & Asset?
A drunk friend is liability.
But,
A drunk Girlfriend is an Asset.
An Economist beautifully explained two reasons for having 2 wives.
A- Monopoly should be broken.
B- Competition improves the quality of service.
If u have 1 wife, She fights with u!
If u have 2 wives, They will fight for you!!
----------------------------
When you are in love,
Wonders happen.
But once you get married,
You wonder, what happened.
----------------------------
Philosophy of marriage :
At the beginning,
every wife treats her husband as GOD..
Later, somehow don't know why..
alphabets get reversed..
----------------------------
Secret formula for married couples...
"Love One Another"
And if it doesn't work, bring the last word in the middle.!!!!
Blxxdy feminist view, from AWARE?!
A girl showed interest in only marrying a lawyer.
I asked the girl "Why do you prefer a lawyer to marry ?"
"She said; "They bow their head while entering the room and again while going out.
They say 'Your Honour' or ' My Lord' before and after every word.
"They don't have any male ego because, they wear a gown!"
"They go to a BAR where liquor is not served."
"More importantly, they never question the judgment at least before the person who gives it, whether they like it or not. "
What more does a wife require?
A girl showed interest in only marrying a lawyer.
I asked the girl "Why do you prefer a lawyer to marry ?"
"She said; "They bow their head while entering the room and again while going out.
They say 'Your Honour' or ' My Lord' before and after every word.
"They don't have any male ego because, they wear a gown!"
"They go to a BAR where liquor is not served."
"More importantly, they never question the judgment at least before the person who gives it, whether they like it or not. "
What more does a wife require?
No music | Mehdi Rajabian
Vasco Gargalo
International Cartooning campaign for Mehdi Rajabian – The Iranian Imprisoned Musician
Vasco Gargalo
International Cartooning campaign for Mehdi Rajabian – The Iranian Imprisoned Musician
*MEN: WHO THEY LOVE MOST*
_*1.THE EUROPEAN MEN:*_
They have 1 wife and 1 girlfriend but they love their wife most.
_*2. THE AMERICAN MEN:*_
They have 1 wife and 1 girlfriend but they love their girlfriend most.
_*3. THE INDIAN MEN:*_
They have 1 wife and 4 girlfriends but they love their mother most.
_*4. THE ARAB MEN:*_
They have 4 wives and 1 girlfriend. But they love their maid most.
_*5. THE CHINAMEN:*_
They have 1 wife and several mistresses but love their money most.
_*6. THE MALAY UMNO MEN:*_
They have 1 official wife, 1 second wife and 2 other secret wives they wed in Thailand or Batam, but they love the Prime Minister most.
_*1.THE EUROPEAN MEN:*_
They have 1 wife and 1 girlfriend but they love their wife most.
_*2. THE AMERICAN MEN:*_
They have 1 wife and 1 girlfriend but they love their girlfriend most.
_*3. THE INDIAN MEN:*_
They have 1 wife and 4 girlfriends but they love their mother most.
_*4. THE ARAB MEN:*_
They have 4 wives and 1 girlfriend. But they love their maid most.
_*5. THE CHINAMEN:*_
They have 1 wife and several mistresses but love their money most.
_*6. THE MALAY UMNO MEN:*_
They have 1 official wife, 1 second wife and 2 other secret wives they wed in Thailand or Batam, but they love the Prime Minister most.
THE 5 ANSWERS WE HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!
Q: WHAT ARE THE SMALL BUMPS AROUND A WOMAN'S NIPPLES FOR?
A: It's Braille for 'suck here'.
Q: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS?
A: It's the same as a French kiss, but 'downunder.'
Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.
Q: WHY WERE HURRICANES NORMALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN?
A: Because when they come, they're wild and wet, and when they go, they take your house and car with them.
Q: WHY DO GIRLS RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING?
A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch...
BONUS QUESTIONS & ANSWERS
Q: What is a man's Ultimate embarrassment?
A: Running into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose.
Nominated as the world's best short joke
A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath. 'Mom', he asked, 'Are these my brains?'
'Not yet,' she replied.
Q: WHAT ARE THE SMALL BUMPS AROUND A WOMAN'S NIPPLES FOR?
A: It's Braille for 'suck here'.
Q: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS?
A: It's the same as a French kiss, but 'downunder.'
Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.
Q: WHY WERE HURRICANES NORMALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN?
A: Because when they come, they're wild and wet, and when they go, they take your house and car with them.
Q: WHY DO GIRLS RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING?
A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch...
BONUS QUESTIONS & ANSWERS
Q: What is a man's Ultimate embarrassment?
A: Running into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose.
Nominated as the world's best short joke
A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath. 'Mom', he asked, 'Are these my brains?'
'Not yet,' she replied.
Family jewels?
An American tourist goes on a trip to China. While in China, he is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time.
A week after arriving back home in the States, he awakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.
The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says: “I’ve got bad news for you. You’ve contracted Mongolian VD. It’s very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it.”
The man looks a little perplexed and says: “Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, doc.”
The doctor answers: “I’m sorry, there’s no known cure. We’re going to have to amputate your penis.”
The man screams in horror, “Absolutely not! I want a second opinion!”
The doctor replies: “Well, it’s your choice. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only choice.”
The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he’ll know more about the disease.
The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims: “Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Velly lare disease.”
The guy says to the doctor: “Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what we can do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!”
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs: “Stupid Amelican docta, always want to opelate. Make more money, that way. No need to opelate!”
“Oh, Thank God!,” the man replies.
“Yes,” says the Chinese doctor, “you no worry! Wait two weeks... it fall off by itself!”
An American tourist goes on a trip to China. While in China, he is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time.
A week after arriving back home in the States, he awakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.
The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says: “I’ve got bad news for you. You’ve contracted Mongolian VD. It’s very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it.”
The man looks a little perplexed and says: “Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, doc.”
The doctor answers: “I’m sorry, there’s no known cure. We’re going to have to amputate your penis.”
The man screams in horror, “Absolutely not! I want a second opinion!”
The doctor replies: “Well, it’s your choice. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only choice.”
The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he’ll know more about the disease.
The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims: “Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Velly lare disease.”
The guy says to the doctor: “Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what we can do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!”
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs: “Stupid Amelican docta, always want to opelate. Make more money, that way. No need to opelate!”
“Oh, Thank God!,” the man replies.
“Yes,” says the Chinese doctor, “you no worry! Wait two weeks... it fall off by itself!”
Korean job?
Kim Jong Il announced at a news conference that North Korea would send a man to the sun in 10 years time. A reporter then asked, "The sun is very hot. How can your man land on the sun?"
There was a stunning silence at the conference. Nobody know how to react. Then Kim Jong Il quietly answered, "We will land at night".
The entire audience broke out in thunderous applause.
Back at the White House, President Donald Trump and his team of advisers were watching the news conference on TV. When Trump heard what Kim had said, he sneered, "What an idiot! They will be lost in space. There is no sun at night time! "
His advisers broke out in thunderous applause!
Kim Jong Il announced at a news conference that North Korea would send a man to the sun in 10 years time. A reporter then asked, "The sun is very hot. How can your man land on the sun?"
There was a stunning silence at the conference. Nobody know how to react. Then Kim Jong Il quietly answered, "We will land at night".
The entire audience broke out in thunderous applause.
Back at the White House, President Donald Trump and his team of advisers were watching the news conference on TV. When Trump heard what Kim had said, he sneered, "What an idiot! They will be lost in space. There is no sun at night time! "
His advisers broke out in thunderous applause!
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