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My Journal, My Life

July 30 2021

2nd doze Pfizer vaccination


I had my second Pfizer vaccination this morning, at Raffles City Convention Centre.

Unlike the first dose which had no physical and/or mental impact on me, this second dose has now sent the thermometer northwards.

Slightly above 38degC.

I am tardy, lethargic and having general bodily discomfort. It doesn't help too when it's the time of the month.

Maybe it's time to go for a hysterectomy as I have no better use for this unnecessary in built functionality in my body.

Absolutely poor planning of dates on my part. I can only blame myself.

I am going to bed.

It's impossible to type with this dizziness. I might just throw my mobile phone out of the window!

I am serious.

:(
 
August 12 2021

How Much Do I Love Him?


20210812_142618.jpg
 
Last edited:
July 30 2021

2nd doze Pfizer vaccination


I had my second Pfizer vaccination this morning, at Raffles City Convention Centre.

Unlike the first dose which had no physical and/or mental impact on me, this second dose has now sent the thermometer northwards.

Slightly above 38degC.

I am tardy, lethargic and having general bodily discomfort. It doesn't help too when it's the time of the month.

Maybe it's time to go for a hysterectomy as I have no better use for this unnecessary in built functionality in my body.

Absolutely poor planning of dates on my part. I can only blame myself.

I am going to bed.

It's impossible to type with this dizziness. I might just throw my mobile phone out of the window!

I am serious.

:(
Had earlier missed out your this episode. Hope you're well past this, and on the bandwagon again.
And not harbour thoughts going under the knife (on your torso):unsure:
 
May 5 2022

Murder is my right


It's been a coon's age since I posted.

A short one this forlorn evening.

I aborted our baby. I murdered it for your sake.

You weren't aware.

When a relationship is enigmatic like ours, nothing else matters. I ain't going to be a single mother. It will bring misery to myself and an innocent child.

When it comes to my personal right and choice, I am no Republican.

Whoever that is manipulating to overturn Roe vs Wade are no better than Communists in China, depriving her people of basic freedoms.

I own my body and I will never cede my control to some crackbrained and gormless conservative majority justices, imposing their preposterous ideals on women.

No woman is free until she can consciously choose and decide whether she wants to be a mother.

Everytime you leave for home past midnight, I always pretend to be fine. I wish you would just divorce her.

If you have done so, our child would have had the opportunity to see this beautiful world.

I feel like collapsing.

I'm crying in silence.

The act of murder is easy.

The aftershocks unforgettable.

Good night.
 
my 40-year virgin friend sha decides to get impregnated via ivf with another woman’s embryo as she runs out of eggs. just a couple of years ago she could have sextracted her last embryo and stored it in a cryonics lab. but too late, her bio clock sounded the final alarm over 69 weeks ago. many like her in sillycon valley want to be mothers when they hit their 40s as they spend half their lives pursuing professional careers. and many are still single. it’s a rude awakening when the last ova leaves the body at the same time the mind decides career mission is accomplished and the time is right to have an offspring. it will have to be someone’s embryo and someone’s sperm. or, is she waiting (and hinting) for me to donate my sperm? she just sent me a message that “she’s ready.” wtf?!
 
my 40-year virgin friend sha decides to get impregnated via ivf with another woman’s embryo as she runs out of eggs. just a couple of years ago she could have sextracted her last embryo and stored it in a cryonics lab. but too late, her bio clock sounded the final alarm over 69 weeks ago. many like her in sillycon valley want to be mothers when they hit their 40s as they spend half their lives pursuing professional careers. and many are still single. it’s a rude awakening when the last ova leaves the body at the same time the mind decides career mission is accomplished and the time is right to have an offspring. it will have to be someone’s embryo and someone’s sperm. or, is she waiting (and hinting) for me to donate my sperm? she just sent me a message that “she’s ready.” wtf?!
Try to explain to her 40 is still ok, should try the natural method with you when her window is open for a few months, before she resorts to IVF.
 
Try to explain to her 40 is still ok, should try the natural method with you when her window is open for a few months, before she resorts to IVF.
with ivf, usually not one but several embryos are injected to increase the chances of pregnancy. if she’s lucky, she may have twins, triplets, or quadruplets.
 
with ivf, usually not one but several embryos are injected to increase the chances of pregnancy. if she’s lucky, she may have twins, triplets, or quadruplets.
It is invasive and expensive, it is more pleasurable with your help. Hope she will seek your kind assistance before going thru these hardships.
 
Jan 31 2023

A Scraggy Dingbat

1. An abusive and vulgar woman in her 50s.

2. She has never been in a serious romantic relationship or either terribly unattractive to men, physically and emotionally.

3. Inability to connect with others or let go of control.

4. With age, she becomes increasingly resentful and angry.

5. Her attitude becoming reflected in the crass language she uses on a daily basis.

6. Often extremely set in her ways and very quick to jump to judgment.

7. She has an unreasonably high sense of self-importance and require constant, excessive admiration.

8. Feel that she deserves privileges and special treatment.

9. Expect to be recognized as superior even without significant achievements in life.

10. Make achievements and talents seem bigger than they are.

In summary, a scraggy dingbat.
 
Jan 31 2023

A Scraggy Dingbat

1. An abusive and vulgar woman in her 50s.

2. She has never been in a serious romantic relationship or either terribly unattractive to men, physically and emotionally.

3. Inability to connect with others or let go of control.

4. With age, she becomes increasingly resentful and angry.

5. Her attitude becoming reflected in the crass language she uses on a daily basis.

6. Often extremely set in her ways and very quick to jump to judgment.

7. She has an unreasonably high sense of self-importance and require constant, excessive admiration.

8. Feel that she deserves privileges and special treatment.

9. Expect to be recognized as superior even without significant achievements in life.

10. Make achievements and talents seem bigger than they are.

In summary, a scraggy dingbat.
This article is dubious. The big words are sorely missing which is her usual signature.
 
Feb 19 2023

Humming and crooning this song in my heart right now...




Hey 我真的好想你
現在窗外面又開始下著雨
眼睛乾乾的 有想哭的心情
不知道你現在到底在哪裡
Hey 我真的好想你
太多的情緒 沒適當的表情
最想說的話我該從何說起
你是否也像我一樣在想你
如果沒有你 沒有過去 我不會有傷心
但是有如果還是要愛你
如果沒有你 我在哪裡 又有甚麼可惜
反正一切來不及 反正沒有了自己
Hey 我真的好想你
不知道你現在到底在哪裡
Hey 我真的好想你
現在窗外面又開始下著雨
眼睛乾乾的 有想哭的心情
不知道你現在到底在哪裡
Hey 我真的好想你
太多的情緒 沒適當的表情
最想說的話我應該從何說起
你是否也像我一樣在想你
如果沒有你 沒有過去 我不會有傷心
但是有如果還是要愛你
如果沒有你 我在哪裡 又有甚麼可惜
反正一切來不及 反正沒有了自己
Hey 我真的好想你
不知道你現在到底在哪裡
你是否也像我一樣在想你

A simple song, with unembellished lyrics, sending my heart sniveling and bawling in pain...Claire
 
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June 27 2023

Limerence


It's always there and refuses to disappear from my cognitive and spiritual belfry, notwithstanding I have had a hectic or prosaic day in the office.

It simply refuses to go away and constantly levitates in my mind.

I guess he's Charlie and I am Marcie.

Love? Lust?

I think neither.

It's becoming increasingly pellucid to me.

It's limerence.

My mental illness?
 
Last edited:
Jan 23 2024

Al Dente Sesso


Over Christmas holidays, I met up with a couple of friends who are expatriates in Tokyo. I flew alone via SQ636 to Haneda. I hadn't been sessualmente attivo in recent years and it was awesome to rediscover me, myself, my body and a tall younger man, whom I got to meet on this flight.

He isn't 100% Italian, though I wish he was. He's a Singaporean, half Chinese half Italian, his country of origin ∼ Italy.

When I boarded SQ636, he was already sitting comfortably in his middle section business class seat. He saw I was having difficulty lifting my hand luggage onto the overhead compartment above my window seat.

Lo and behold, he immediately stood up, and without hesitation came to the rescue of the damsel in distress. I doubt any purebred Singaporean would have done so. Chivalry isn't synonymous with local Singaporean genes.

Anyway, he came over to my seat after the flight attendants had cleared our late night snack. We introduced ourselves, chatted, said good night and I tugged myself into my flat bedseat. Morning came, I had my breakfast and following an uneventful flight, the plane landedat Heneda. At the immigration, I bumped into him again (let's called him Prestante).

Prestante asked where I was heading. He said if I don't mind, his driver could drop me in downtown Tokyo area. I told him I am putting up at Intercontinental around Akasaka. Well, he did what he offered, and I arrived at the hotel, safe, sound and in one piece.

Whilst helping with my luggage out of his company limousine, he cheekily asked if he could have my mobile number. Sensing that he's a nice chap, I spontaneously asked him for his number, keyed into my phone, dialed his number and told him "there you go". We said goodbye and he left after wishing me a good holiday.

By the time I checked in and got into my room, a WhatsApp message had arrived, asking me if I am available for dinner at Aragawa. I smiled to myself during my refreshing morning shower, wondering if this younger man's modus operandi was kind of like in two shakes of a lamb's tail.

Well I agreed to his request and I had the best wagyu on mother earth at Aragawa, a couple of days later.

Penning this piece in my online journal in this forum is tough. Perhaps I haven't been sessualmente attivo for a year or thereabouts. My memories are flooding my chain of thought, especially that silky feeling of my lips along Prestante's pene, its head squelching against my tongue and the subsequent precipitous intervention of his warm, thick and salty fluid filling my mouth.

I don't know if I should continue writing this. These memories are creating spasms in the lower half of my body now, amidst the warm lubrication down under. Intolerable (in a nice sense) to be very honest...

Shucks!

What the heckaroo! Let me regain my composure (hopefully) and I shall audaciously continue this piece some other day.

Suffice to say, the whole episode with Prestante was a pleasant and pleasurable Al Dente Sesso.
 
Jan 24 2024

Jawihada


I am sorry I couldn't continue the earlier Al Dente Sesso piece last night. I was completely overwhelmed and had to perform my jawihada ritual. I never once felt ashamed about jawihada. To me, it's my way of conquering stress and enjoyinq my own me time.

I don't recall penning a personal piece on jawihada. So I guess I should let readers hear my first hand account. There's nothing to be ashamed talking about jawihada. I ain't a prude and I detest prudes.

Hyun Bin and Lee Jung-jae are my usual "victims" when I partake in a solo jawihada session. More Lee Jung-jae because he's so man, while Hyun Bin doesn't give me the vibes of a "spontaneous" man in the bedroom. So depending on my appetite, if I want romanticism, it's Hyun Bin. Otherwise it's Lee Jung-jae for raunchy mental scenarios.

Nevertheless, imho, these two tall and handsome men are well polished to the nines. To be absolutely honest, if either one of them were to date me, I would not hesitate to surrender myself and be their "slut" for the night.

Straight after penning the earlier piece on Al Dente Sesso last night, I was completely overwhelmed with memories of that fateful night in Tokyo with Prestante. I didn't have to do a thing. My libidinous imaginations went wild. I felt I needed instant relief as the scenes with Prestante replayed in my mind, over and over.

I abandoned my laptop, jumped onto my bed, eagerly soothing myself into a jawihada ritual. My right index and middle fingers immediately found my front bottom and thrusted slowly but deeply. My left hand went inside my undergarments, squeezing my orbs, with my left fingers pinching and alternating between my mamillae. The pain on my mamillae was graciously gratifying.

By now, my right thumb was soothing my already swollen clit while my index and middle fingers were fast in motion. I was literally overwhelmed with lust. Crucially, I had to decide between to continue with slower self seduction, or an immediate release.

I was already very weak. It had to be the latter and I knew I had to arrive soon. I inserted my right ring finger and together with the index and middle fingers, they coiled deep inside, flexing, massaging and thrusting rapidly.

By now, my right hand and both my thighs were thoroughly wet, so was my bed linen. I really couldn't give a fxxk. I knew I had to release and release myself good and hard.

I screamed when the first wave culminated. It was as if my body and brain were struck by lightning. I convulsed with awesome pleasure. I hadn't fully released yet. It was merely a prequel to more and yet more intense convulsions, in a rapidly cascading sequential performance.

By now, I could hardly breathe. My mind was in auto mode, repeating and repeating that I was Prestante's whore until I let off a final scream in the heavenly apex of deliverance.

As my tremors and seizures eased, I felt proud of my carnal accomplishment. I took a a deep gulp of air, drowsily reminiscing over all the luscious time in Prestante's arms that night, wondering when he's going to be back in Singapore again.

Or is this another a one-nighter tryst?

To conclude this lengthy piece, all I want to say is that the jawihada ritual last night wasn't the same as al dente sesso with Prestante.

Physically, it felt good, got the job done, temporarily vanquished my licentious thoughts and released my tension.

Sesso on the other hand is a joint coordinated effort by both of us, and definitely, Prestante's fingers, lips, body warmth and most importantly, his pene provided far more joy than my own hands and fingers.

Al dente sesso triumphs over jawihada.
 
Last edited:
Jan 24 2024

Jawihada


I am sorry I couldn't continue the earlier Al Dente Sesso piece last night. I was completely overwhelmed and had to perform my jawihada ritual. I never once felt ashamed about jawihada. To me, it's my way of conquering stress and enjoyinq my own me time.

I don't recall penning a personal piece on jawihada. So I guess I should let readers hear my first hand account. There's nothing to be ashamed talking about jawihada. I ain't a prude and I detest prudes.

Hyun Bin and Lee Jung-jae are my usual "victims" when I partake in a solo jawihada session. More Lee Jung-jae because he's so man, while Hyun Bin doesn't give me the vibes of a "spontaneous" man in the bedroom. So depending on my appetite, if I want romanticism, it's Hyun Bin. Otherwise it's Lee Jung-jae for raunchy mental scenarios.

Nevertheless, imho, these two tall and handsome men are well polished to the nines. To be absolutely honest, if either one of them were to date me, I would not hesitate to surrender myself and be their "slut" for the night.

Straight after penning the earlier piece on Al Dente Sesso last night, I was completely overwhelmed with memories of that fateful night in Tokyo with Prestante. I didn't have to do a thing. My libidinous imaginations went wild. I felt I needed instant relief as the scenes with Prestante replayed in my mind, over and over.

I abandoned my laptop, jumped onto my bed, eagerly soothing myself into a jawihada ritual. My right index and middle fingers immediately found my front bottom and thrusted slowly but deeply. My left hand went inside my undergarments, squeezing my orbs, with my left fingers pinching and alternating between my mamillae. The pain on my mamillae was graciously gratifying.

By now, my right thumb was soothing my already swollen clit while my index and middle fingers were fast in motion. I was literally overwhelmed with lust. Crucially, I had to decide between to continue with slower self seduction, or an immediate release.

I was already very weak. It had to be the latter and I knew I had to arrive soon. I inserted my right ring finger and together with the index and middle fingers, they coiled deep inside, flexing, massaging and thrusting rapidly.

By now, my right hand and both my thighs were thoroughly wet, so was my bed linen. I really couldn't give a fxxk. I knew I had to release and release myself good and hard.

I screamed when the first wave culminated. It was as if my body and brain were struck by lightning. I convulsed with awesome pleasure. I hadn't fully released yet. It was merely a prequel to more and yet more intense convulsions, in a rapidly cascading sequential performance.

By now, I could hardly breathe. My mind was in auto mode, repeating and repeating that I was Prestante's whore until I let off a final scream in the heavenly apex of deliverance.

As my tremors and seizures eased, I felt proud of my carnal accomplishment. I took a a deep gulp of air, drowsily reminiscing over all the luscious time in Prestante's arms that night, wondering when he's going to be back in Singapore again.

Or is this another a one-nighter tryst?

To conclude this lengthy piece, all I want to say is that the jawihada ritual last night wasn't the same as al dente sesso with Prestante.

Physically, it felt good, got the job done, temporarily vanquished my licentious thoughts and released my tension.

Sesso on the other hand is a joint coordinated effort by both of us, and definitely, Prestante's fingers, lips, body warmth and most importantly, his pene provided far more joy than my own hands and fingers.

Al dente sesso triumphs over jawihada.
Ever thought of a career change and pen erotic novels for a living instead ? I feel your amorous psyche is completely wasted in your current field. :biggrin:
 
Ever thought of a career change and pen erotic novels for a living instead ? I feel your amorous psyche is completely wasted in your current field. :biggrin:
I rather not.

Not because I don't enjoy writing. I love reading and writing since young.

However, full time writers don't make as much as a lawyer. My current rates are already $500 to $800/hr and above depending on the complexity of the matter on hand. How many words must I churn to earn this kind of rates.

I do write part time for a certain magazine. I can't disclose the name of the publication. My sincere apologies.
 
Jan 23 2024

Al Dente Sesso


Over Christmas holidays, I met up with a couple of friends who are expatriates in Tokyo. I flew alone via SQ636 to Haneda. I hadn't been sessualmente attivo in recent years and it was awesome to rediscover me, myself, my body and a tall younger man, whom I got to meet on this flight.

He isn't 100% Italian, though I wish he was. He's a Singaporean, half Chinese half Italian, his country of origin ∼ Italy.

When I boarded SQ636, he was already sitting comfortably in his middle section business class seat. He saw I was having difficulty lifting my hand luggage onto the overhead compartment above my window seat.

Lo and behold, he immediately stood up, and without hesitation came to the rescue of the damsel in distress. I doubt any purebred Singaporean would have done so. Chivalry isn't synonymous with local Singaporean genes.

Anyway, he came over to my seat after the flight attendants had cleared our late night snack. We introduced ourselves, chatted, said good night and I tugged myself into my flat bedseat. Morning came, I had my breakfast and following an uneventful flight, the plane landedat Heneda. At the immigration, I bumped into him again (let's called him Prestante).

Prestante asked where I was heading. He said if I don't mind, his driver could drop me in downtown Tokyo area. I told him I am putting up at Intercontinental around Akasaka. Well, he did what he offered, and I arrived at the hotel, safe, sound and in one piece.

Whilst helping with my luggage out of his company limousine, he cheekily asked if he could have my mobile number. Sensing that he's a nice chap, I spontaneously asked him for his number, keyed into my phone, dialed his number and told him "there you go". We said goodbye and he left after wishing me a good holiday.

By the time I checked in and got into my room, a WhatsApp message had arrived, asking me if I am available for dinner at Aragawa. I smiled to myself during my refreshing morning shower, wondering if this younger man's modus operandi was kind of like in two shakes of a lamb's tail.

Well I agreed to his request and I had the best wagyu on mother earth at Aragawa, a couple of days later.

Penning this piece in my online journal in this forum is tough. Perhaps I haven't been sessualmente attivo for a year or thereabouts. My memories are flooding my chain of thought, especially that silky feeling of my lips along Prestante's pene, its head squelching against my tongue and the subsequent precipitous intervention of his warm, thick and salty fluid filling my mouth.

I don't know if I should continue writing this. These memories are creating spasms in the lower half of my body now, amidst the warm lubrication down under. Intolerable (in a nice sense) to be very honest...

Shucks!

What the heckaroo! Let me regain my composure (hopefully) and I shall audaciously continue this piece some other day.

Suffice to say, the whole episode with Prestante was a pleasant and pleasurable Al Dente Sesso.
Jan 24 2024

Jawihada


I am sorry I couldn't continue the earlier Al Dente Sesso piece last night. I was completely overwhelmed and had to perform my jawihada ritual. I never once felt ashamed about jawihada. To me, it's my way of conquering stress and enjoyinq my own me time.

I don't recall penning a personal piece on jawihada. So I guess I should let readers hear my first hand account. There's nothing to be ashamed talking about jawihada. I ain't a prude and I detest prudes.

Hyun Bin and Lee Jung-jae are my usual "victims" when I partake in a solo jawihada session. More Lee Jung-jae because he's so man, while Hyun Bin doesn't give me the vibes of a "spontaneous" man in the bedroom. So depending on my appetite, if I want romanticism, it's Hyun Bin. Otherwise it's Lee Jung-jae for raunchy mental scenarios.

Nevertheless, imho, these two tall and handsome men are well polished to the nines. To be absolutely honest, if either one of them were to date me, I would not hesitate to surrender myself and be their "slut" for the night.

Straight after penning the earlier piece on Al Dente Sesso last night, I was completely overwhelmed with memories of that fateful night in Tokyo with Prestante. I didn't have to do a thing. My libidinous imaginations went wild. I felt I needed instant relief as the scenes with Prestante replayed in my mind, over and over.

I abandoned my laptop, jumped onto my bed, eagerly soothing myself into a jawihada ritual. My right index and middle fingers immediately found my front bottom and thrusted slowly but deeply. My left hand went inside my undergarments, squeezing my orbs, with my left fingers pinching and alternating between my mamillae. The pain on my mamillae was graciously gratifying.

By now, my right thumb was soothing my already swollen clit while my index and middle fingers were fast in motion. I was literally overwhelmed with lust. Crucially, I had to decide between to continue with slower self seduction, or an immediate release.

I was already very weak. It had to be the latter and I knew I had to arrive soon. I inserted my right ring finger and together with the index and middle fingers, they coiled deep inside, flexing, massaging and thrusting rapidly.

By now, my right hand and both my thighs were thoroughly wet, so was my bed linen. I really couldn't give a fxxk. I knew I had to release and release myself good and hard.

I screamed when the first wave culminated. It was as if my body and brain were struck by lightning. I convulsed with awesome pleasure. I hadn't fully released yet. It was merely a prequel to more and yet more intense convulsions, in a rapidly cascading sequential performance.

By now, I could hardly breathe. My mind was in auto mode, repeating and repeating that I was Prestante's whore until I let off a final scream in the heavenly apex of deliverance.

As my tremors and seizures eased, I felt proud of my carnal accomplishment. I took a a deep gulp of air, drowsily reminiscing over all the luscious time in Prestante's arms that night, wondering when he's going to be back in Singapore again.

Or is this another a one-nighter tryst?

To conclude this lengthy piece, all I want to say is that the jawihada ritual last night wasn't the same as al dente sesso with Prestante.

Physically, it felt good, got the job done, temporarily vanquished my licentious thoughts and released my tension.

Sesso on the other hand is a joint coordinated effort by both of us, and definitely, Prestante's fingers, lips, body warmth and most importantly, his pene provided far more joy than my own hands and fingers.

Al dente sesso triumphs over jawihada.
Great that you've been enjoyable sexy time. Although each time, I need the help of the thesaurus and google translate to fully comprehend what you wrote.:biggrin:
 
No apologies needed.
I rather not.

Not because I don't enjoy writing. I love reading and writing since young.

However, full time writers don't make as much as a lawyer. My current rates are already $500 to $800/hr and above depending on the complexity of the matter on hand. How many words must I churn to earn this kind of rates.

I do write part time for a certain magazine. I can't disclose the name of the publication. My sincere apologies.
No apologies needed. I think some of us here already know what magazine you write for. Your loquacious and sesquipedalian writing flair is unmistakable.... :biggrin:
 
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