So very, very, very true indeed!
And those who change their religion immediately after their parents died and refuse to visit their grave during their death anniversary because they can't kneel or pray to others, not even their own parent? That they were so dot upon when their parents were alive? But made sure that they got their fair share from the sale of their inheritance? :(
This is sad,i know which religion you are referring to for i was part of that religion. From the time my grandfather passed on, i have went against the teachings where ancestors are concerned and when i entered the army, all the festivals including hungry ghosts i donate and contribute to the offerings.
I also still offer joss sticks and burn the notes to them even when i
was still in that religion.
For me, i see it this way, death is not the end but a continuation of a relationship, its like the folks who have passed on are not really gone but in an old age home or stuck in a place where they can never get discharged.
If your parents or grandparents or family are forced by circumstances beyong control, into an instituition whether jail, old age home or hospital, wouldn't you want to visit them? (Referring to graves/urns)
When you visit them, wouldn't you bring fruits and their favourite food and even a smoke or two? Same thing applies when they are gone. To me, when i burnt the joss paper, offer the cigarette or joss sticks, i am not praying to them for protection, its like i brought the old people fruits when visiting. To me at least, this has nothing to do with religion.
I guess in a way, they did show a certain level of respect by not converting before the passing. But love goes beyond death, it does not just end there.
The religion one has should never ever interfere with the love between a father and his son or a mother with daughter. Our parents gave us life and no matter their failings, at least this life we owe it to them to give them a comfortable one.
If you are a buddhist, even if there is reincarnation, the next life you might never see them again. If you are a Christian, there is no next life so the more you should cherish them while they are still here. We often hear this before, life is fragile. How do we know when something is broken? When we hear the shattering of the heart when a loved one passed on.
My grandfather passed away before he even saw the subsequent success of my family. We were never close as he spoke mainly in Hokkien and Malay and i only spoke Mandarin. I never got to share with him how i really felt and how much i loved him. I learnt Hokkien to try to communicate better but it was too late. The cancer got to him.(To all bros here, please don't smoke for the sake of your family)
I can only carry a lantern and a knife for him to clear the weeds and lead my family to his grave every Qing Ming (my family prefers to visit the graves at 3am in the morning to beat the crowds)
I cannot tell him how much i loved him and how in that year, his passing and my going into NS very shortly was the most traumatizing events in my life. Our parents gave birth to us, to quote a phrase from a hokkien song, "bo le bo wa" - Without you, i will not exist.
I love my parents, i only hope that i will live long enough for them to carry out my duties as a son. To me, it is not a burden of pain but a labour of love.
U have many houses for investment purposes? And you have a great family value! Ur sister must be glad to have a brother like u..
