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- Thread starter RiverOL
- Start date
Those Wounds Yet Visible Above
I’ve often taken comfort from the idea that Jesus’ resurrection body still bears the scars of crucifixion in his hands, feet, and side. A teacher I respect says that the only person in Heaven whose body remains imperfect will be Jesus, who carries the marks of mortality and the sacrifice he made for all humanity. I’ve also reflected on the idea that his wounds are an expression of his continual intercession for us – though we be perfected in the by and by, and never again sin, we will still be justified by Jesus’ righteousness rather than our own.
We won’t hand his righteousness back and stand on our own merit once we can manage it. The righteousness of Christ, given to us through the cross in exchange for our own, is not a loan; it is the eternal justification on which we stand, and we will always be recipients of mercy because of the intercessory wounds of Christ.
As the hymn writer captured so beautifully in the wonderful ‘Crown Him With Many Crowns’:
‘Crown Him the Lord of Love:
Behold His hands and side;
Rich wounds yet visible above
In beauty glorified.’
Despite all the encouragement this has brought me over the years, a friend presented me with a complementary idea over dinner this week, and it’s added an extra dimension to the concept of eternal scars and what they might signify.
Repaired, not replaced
You’ve no doubt heard of the Japanese art of Kintsugi – the art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. The beauty of Kintsugi is not that precious metal is used to bind the breakages, but that the breakages are part of an object’s story. Conceptually, Kintsugi’s power is in choosing preservation over replacement.
In Kintsugi, the repair of an object becomes part of its value and beauty. Lovers of antiques enjoy the beauty of visible repairs in other forms of restoration too, including old patches of riveted metal, iron staples in broken china, and carpentry repairs that were not hidden away by the restorer, but left in plain sight as part of the honesty and story of a cherished item.
John Wimber, the founder of the Vineyard movement and a man who moved powerfully in gifts of healing, was regularly known to say ‘Never trust a leader without a limp’ – an interesting assertion from someone who believed God wants to see healing gifts multiply vastly among his people. It might seem counterintuitive, but I get it. He is not, of course, referring to a physical ailment, but the evidence of having been through a few battles. He is speaking of emotional scars.
What does emotional scarring tell us?
For starters, scars are more than a clue that a wound was taken; they are evidence that we have healed from that wound. A scarred person is no longer wounded – they were wounded, but have undergone a process of healing. Scars tell a story of recovery, and recovery from serious emotional injury takes personal discipline, maturity, and a grasp of grace.
I’ll use my own story as an example. At the age of 21 I was full of the Spirit and utterly confident of what I believed the Lord was going to do in my life. Missionary work in Asia beckoned, and I was a couple of weeks away from getting on that plane to begin a life of effectiveness for the Lord. One Sunday night, I attended a church service in a rowdy and much-loved Pentecostal church in Nottingham, where a well-known prophetess was ministering. At the end of the service I asked her to pray for me, and she delivered the following words:
“The next few years are going to be hard, but you’ll learn lessons that will keep you the rest of your life.”
It wasn’t what I wanted to hear but I accepted the word nonetheless, as it had the ring of truth.
Now I am a firm believer that God does not bring suffering into our lives to teach us lessons. He is not the author of pain, sickness, or any other form or torment, but the Lord squeezes goodness out of even the hardest circumstances, including the ones we bring on ourselves, doing everything he can to teach us how to get free of our prisons, stay free, and help others do the same.
The prophetess was right. The next few years were incredibly hard, involving significant physical illness and psychological collapse, to the point where I thought my life was over, but in the Lord’s gentle company I recovered – slowly, but I made it out of the pit, and that pit is now ringed with the sturdiest fence to keep me from stumbling into it again. This is the nature of healing, and the lessons that leave scars; we heal, and in healing, learn how to avoid repeating the mistakes that led to our wounding in the first place.
I won’t go into the details of what I suffered, or this article will turn into a novella, but I would like to list some of the lessons I had to learn before I was ready to be free:
- God’s love is far too deep, rich, and devoted to ever be hindered by my behaviour or performance. I am loved just as I am.
- Spiritual activities (the ministry I was delivering, along with personal prayer and devotion) are important, but so is having fun, enjoying friendship, and going on marvellous adventures.
- I am in control of little other than my own reactions.
- True faith is an expression of simple, childlike trust. It is not manly, adult, or self-proclaiming. It simply believes.
- God will defend me; there is no need to defend myself.
On top of this, I had to learn to forgive. The missionary society I was part of was partly responsible, I believe, for the worst catastrophe that happened to me, but I had to put that aside to move on.
In processing all these lessons I prepared myself for freedom, and when I was ready, I found the prison door was already open and walked right out. I was free; scarred, and walking with a limp, but free.
God is heavily invested in our healing and growth
I believe that Heaven cheers us on in our walk of faith. The Lord sees what we go through and is right here with us in it. He comforts us, teaches us, leads us, celebrates every tiny step towards freedom, and roars in triumph at our victories and breakthroughs. Our God is victorious, and ultimately, so are we. We shall be in Zion.
There are only three places in the Bible where we see the will of God perfectly performed: In Eden before the Fall, in the life and ministry of Jesus, and in the New Jerusalem, also known as Zion (Heaven), where there will be no more tears or suffering. Revelation 21:4,
‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. Death shall be no more; nor sorrow, nor wail of woe, nor pain; for the first things have passed away.’
It is not that we will simply stop crying; He will wipe every tear from our eyes. He will minister to each of us personally, healing us of every sorrow. What a God we serve!
I used to think that if human history is topped and tailed with perfection in paradise, with Jesus right in the middle of it all, that the difficulties we go through are unimportant, but now I see things differently. Every wound we have taken, from which we have learned and grown, leaves a glorious scar – evidence of God’s healing and leading, and our willingness to yield to him. Every scar we bear tells a story of conflict and resolution. Of faith under fire.
Sometimes we even bear scars for others. I know of a young couple who due to tragic circumstances might end up looking after a 14 year old boy at the time in life when they want maximum freedom, but they will take him on and love him, despite the cost. Life isn’t always fair, and sometimes we take damage when standing up or standing in for someone else. These wounds in particular – these sacrificial acts of service – are of the highest import to God.
God is by nature a rewarder, ready to praise those who choose love. He told his disciples that if anyone gave them even a cup of water they would not fail to receive their reward. If God is passionate about the giving of rewards, he surely celebrates every aspect of our growth, including the tiniest steps. The lessons that won us that growth, the scars we’ve taken as part of discipleship, and the scars we are left with because of the service of others, are glorious indeed.
I do not believe the journeys we embark on in life are unimportant. Indeed, they form the fundament of our eternal destiny. 2 Cor 4: 16-17,
Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.
Our discipleship is sacred, our growth and healing cherished by God and celebrated by the great cloud of witnesses, cheering us on from on high. These temporary sufferings are not just obstacles to overcome; as we embrace God’s healing, they are achieving for us an eternal weight of glory.
I have begun to suspect that in Heaven we will still bear these scars – not as evidence of wounding, but as evidence of healing. We shall be like beautiful Kintsugi vases, our past breakages on display, along with the loving work of the Restorer. This life is our story, and our stories will resonate for eternity.
Naomi, Orpah, and Ruth: Sustaining Hope
Read Ruth 1:1–18; 4:13–15; Lamentations 3:16–24; Psalm 107
When all hope is lost, where do we find that elusive little word? In days of pain, disappointment, or grief, we often hear others tell us to “hold onto hope.” Hope is tricky, though. It slips through our fingers. It sneaks away with every loss, every bit of hurt. And yet, it is often the only thing that sustains us.
This story in the book of Ruth is one about hope. It’s a story of God’s faithfulness reflected powerfully in the faithfulness of these women.
When Naomi, Orpah, and Ruth find themselves without husbands and without much hope for their futures, they are forced to make tough decisions. In her simultaneous sorrow and deep care for her daughters-in-law, Naomi urges them to return home. They refuse and faithfully accompany her to the edge of Judah, a land where they will be fiercely unwelcomed. Again, Naomi urges them to return.
With great mourning, Orpah says goodbye and returns to her home. We have often looked at Orpah as a foil to Ruth—the less faithful of the two, the one who took the easy way out. But this decision was no small thing. Linda Gehman Peachey reminds us that “it is not always best to leave one’s home behind to search for a new life in a new land. It is not always right to ask people to reject their own traditions and adopt foreign ways.” We can honor Orpah’s faithfulness to her people and what was best for her in this situation.
Though Orpah leaves the traveling party to return home to her people, Ruth steadfastly refuses to leave Naomi. In a scene fit for the movies, Ruth pledges herself to Naomi:
This is covenantal language. We rarely see this kind of commitment anywhere beyond the marriage relationship. And ironically, this passage of Scripture is often quoted in wedding vows. This bond between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, these fiercely faithful friends, is profoundly beautiful.
There is little social benefit for Ruth to follow Naomi. Instead, there is great risk and pain ahead for her in this foreign land. Walking into Judah, Ruth is the lowliest of race, class, and gender. Yet, as Rose Sallberg Kam observes, she stands as a “model of faith comparable only to Abraham . . . who also abandoned all at God’s call.”
Ruth continues in faithfulness as she works in the field of Boaz, a relative of Naomi. As the story goes, Boaz notices Ruth’s loyalty and hard work. He creates a safe and caring work environment for her. Then, through some clever planning, Naomi arranges a situation for Boaz to take on the role of kinsman-redeemer: one who will marry Ruth and carry on the line of Naomi and her family.
Since we’ve often read this book as an iconic love story between Ruth and Boaz, we can miss the role of Naomi’s faithfulness here. Without Naomi’s clever strategy and trust in God’s goodness, the connection between Boaz and Ruth would not have come together. When Naomi hears of Boaz’s care for Ruth, she responds with words of hope: “May he be blessed by the Lord, whose kindness has not forsaken the living or the dead!” (2:20)
God’s kindness, God’s faithfulness, is still with them! Naomi, who before remarked on the emptiness and calamity that God had brought on her, is now moving forward in God’s kindness.
Ruth and Boaz are married, and they have a son. And the book of Ruth concludes, we see God’s fierce faithfulness on full display:
God has restored Naomi’s life. God has restored her hope. Through Boaz, yes, and through the lineage of this little baby who will be the grandfather of King David, yes.
But the last verse here makes me want to cry and rejoice all at once: It is Naomi’s daughter-in-law Ruth who shows her fiercely faithful, covenantal love that is better than if Naomi had had seven sons of her own!
The story began with a deeply painful story of death and hopelessness. Lost husbands and sons, heart-wrenching good-byes, and a difficult relocation.
Yet here we are, at the end of the story, witnessing two women, surrounded by a broader community of women, reveling in the goodness of God. They had mourned together, and now they rejoice together. God has seen them and given them more than they could ask or imagine.
This baby, Obed, bears the family name. But he is precious to Naomi because he is the son of Ruth. Ruth, this constant reminder of God’s faithfulness, is more precious to her than seven sons.
Naomi, Ruth, and Orpah each teach us a valuable lesson about hope and faithfulness.
Orpah is faithful to Naomi by holding pain with her and then making the tough decision to return home to her people.
Ruth is faithful in her commitment to Naomi and to her God, to her work and to her new community.
And Naomi, she faithfully grieves her husband and sons. And eventually, she remembers the kindness and character of God. She remembers her God’s faithfulness.
This is who we are called to be, friends. We are called to be faithful members of a community, the body of Christ, that sticks closely with the hurting.
The grieving.
The wandering.
And, in so doing, we as a community reflect the fierce faithfulness of God.
When life feels heavy enough to bury God’s kindness and goodness, we need others to re-member for us.
Remember, reflect, and, soon, we will get to rejoice.
Top Ten Books on the Parables
Okay, I’ve read a lot of books on the parables, they are very different, but here are my top ten:
Klyne Snodgrass, Stories with Intent: A Comprehensive Guide to the Parables of Jesus. Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 2007.
- Blomberg, Craig L. Interpreting the Parables. Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1990.
- Blomberg, Craig L. Preaching the Parables: From Responsible Interpretation to Powerful Proclamation. Grand Rapids: Brazos, 2012.
- Longenecker, Richard N. The Challenge of Jesus’ Parables. Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1999.
- Wenham, D. The Parables of Jesus: Pictures of Revolution. London: Hodder & Stoughton, 1989.
- Scott, Bernard Brandon. Hear Then the Parable: A Commentary on the Parables of Jesus. Minneapolis: Fortress, 1989.
- Young, Brad. The Parables: Jewish Tradition and Christian Interpretation. Peabody, MA: Hendrickson, 1997.
- Perkins, Pheme. Hearing the Parables of Jesus. New York: Paulist Press, 1981.
- Burge, Gary M. Jesus, the Middle Eastern Storyteller. ACAF. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2009.
- Westermann, Claus. The Parables of Jesus in the Light of the Old Testament. Edited and translated by F. W. Golka and A. H. B. Logan. Minneapolis: Fortress, 1990.
Smile, God Loves You.
I never thought too much about that line “Smile, God Loves You” growing up, though I heard it often enough. I would also see it emblazoned on my late father’s coffee mug (pictured here), from which I’m drinking my morning brew today. Surely, if I’m honest, there have been times in my life journey where I have been tempted by tragic and devastating experiences to write and say just the opposite—“Scowl, God Hates You” or “Sulk, God Just Doesn’t Care.” The past several months have provided their fair share of temptation along these lines, though I don’t think I’ll inscribe these dark words on a coffee mug.Well, I wasn’t scowling or sulking Thursday, when I went to my son Christopher’s room at the rehabilitative care facility where he resides presently. When I greeted him, I witnessed that the right corner of his mouth moved slightly upward, as in a quivering smile. That was a first for me, though my wife had seen Christopher smile when she touched him and spoke to him recently.
I have not seen any smile, no facial movement, not even a frown in all my daily or nightly visits with Christopher in hospital and care facility rooms since his traumatic brain injury in January. When his nurse came in later to introduce himself on Thursday, he immediately shared with me that Christopher smiled at him when the nurse first spoke to my son earlier in the day. Then I told the nurse of my similar experience. What a relief that I wasn’t hallucinating, or if I was, so, too, was the nurse.
More smiles appeared on my fatigued face later on during my Thursday visit. The CNA tending to Christopher that day walked in and told me that Therapy was able to get Christopher to respond to prompts. They asked him eight times to open his right hand. Then they asked him to close his right hand. Christopher opened and closed his hand each time they asked! Again, that was a first!
With a smile beaming in my soul, I called Christopher’s wife, my daughter, and my wife. They all had opportunity to express to Christopher their joy and celebration of these positive responses. His eyes were open. It appeared that he was listening intently.
As I ended the call on my phone in Christopher’s room, I thought I would flick my fingers in front of my son’s eyes to see if he would blink before I had to leave for the evening. I have flicked my fingers before his eyes on many visits, but I have never witnessed any responsiveness. Still, it was worth the risk of being discouraged again in the effort to try and make him blink for the very first time. So yesterday, I flicked my fingers a few inches from his eyes, just like in the past, pausing between each flick for several seconds. Each time, eight times in total, Christopher blinked. Flick…Blink. Flick…Blink. Flick…Blink. I quickly walked out into the hall to tell Christopher’s nurse. His nurse’s face beamed with a smile and he said that Christopher’s sensors were returning. It sure seems that way. Similarly, it seems that my sensors are returning. A smile is returning to my face more often, sometimes with a slight quiver, but a smile nonetheless, as I respond to Christopher’s encouraging prompts to me.
Life with a traumatic brain injury and life without it has so many ups and downs, so many smiles, scowls, sulks, and frowns. There are times when we think God loves us and times when we are tempted to think God hates us or doesn’t care about us.
Now some may be tempted to take these sentiments as prompts for a rebuke. But that won’t do any good, as it tends to suppress honest engagement with God. The psalmists were honest with God and their feelings. It doesn’t help to suppress our feelings, but to move forward however gingerly to express them in constructive directions. I try not to allow any up day or down day of circumstances to alter my balance. Yesterday, Christopher was not responsive during visitation, which one of the therapists said is quite common with TBI. Responsive days can follow non-responsive days and non-responsive days can follow responsive days. But how do I ultimately respond to God?
The Apostle Paul had many good days and many bad days in his Christian sojourn. He wrote from house arrest in Rome:
Christ’s abiding presence and sustenance gave Paul strength.
On another occasion, Paul writes to the Roman church that nothing can separate us from the love of Christ:
Jesus endured hunger and want, weakness and shame. He endured trouble and hardship, persecution, nakedness, danger, and the sword or spear. So, too, did Paul. So, we, too, can endure, just like Paul did, knowing that Christ is with us and his love is more than sufficient to sustain us in the face of any evil or trouble.
We are more than conquerors and warriors, like my son Christopher, who fights for life and proves resilient in his pursuit of healing. I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither bad days of little or no responsiveness in the present or the future, nor emotional highs or lows, neither brain damage nor any other mental, emotional or physical condition and COVID restriction that we endure will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Even when I am not smiling on the outside, and even when there is deep sorrow in my heart, there is an even deeper dimension of existence in my spirit where God’s Spirit of love dwells, and who prompts me to keep moving my limbs and opening my eyes. May we see that God’s love does not depend on circumstances. Rather, our response to life circumstances depends on whether we are confident in God’s love that prompted and moved Jesus to conquer so much pain and isolation, suffering and shame, death and the grave.
Charles Spurgeon, the famed “Prince of Preachers,” was no stranger to a range of emotions. He struggled mightily with chronic depression. Still, it did not keep him from reflecting on the everlasting love of God. In a sermon titled “More Than Conquerors” based on Romans 8:37 quoted above, Spurgeon declared on May 19, 1867:
Preach it, Preacher.
Jesus is God’s smile. He is the proof of God’s love. God’s Spirit of love poured out in Jesus and into our hearts (Romans 5:5) prompts us to respond to his love when everything in us and round about us scowls, sulks, and frowns: “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us” (Romans 8:37; NIV). Smile, God loves you.
Six warning signs of a “drifting” marriage
I recently sat down with a couple who have been married for a long time, but recently some relational “drift” in their marriage had slowly sent them in opposite directions like two ships that are each just slightly off course, but over time, that slight drift caused a huge gap between them. This couple had the abrupt wakeup call of an Emotional Affair which threatened to end their marriage if immediate action wasn’t taken.
Any marriage left on autopilot will eventually start drifting in the wrong direction. It’s important to correct the course the moment you recognize the sometimes subtle signs that you’re drifting apart. Here are six warning signs that some unhealthy drifting may be happening in your marriage:
In no particular order…
1.You each spend more of your free time doing individual activities than you spend doing activities together.
There’s certainly nothing wrong with having some hobbies you enjoy independently, BUT when the majority of your free time is wrapped up in activities that don’t include your spouse, that’s a huge red flag that relational drift is leading you in the wrong direction. Find some shared activities you both enjoy doing together, and it could make a huge difference in your marriage.
2. You have “his friends” and “her friends” but not “our friends.”
Again, hanging out with some friends without your spouse isn’t always a bad thing, BUT when your primary social interactions don’t include your spouse, you’re might be subtly sabotaging your marriage. Find some “couple friends” that you both enjoy hanging out with together. Include your spouse as much as possible.
3. You don’t have much physical affection outside the bedroom.
A lack of sex can be its own warning sign, but we’ve found many couples who are drifting may still be have sex frequently. A better indicator of “drift” happens with the amount of affection happening outside of the bedroom. When you rarely cuddle, hold hands, put your arm around his/her shoulder, etc., that’s usually a warning sign. For more on better intimacy inside and outside of the bedroom, check out our most popular video course by clicking here.
4. You find yourself hiding things from your spouse.
This can start subtly and seem innocent at first, but this is a HUGE red flag from the moment it begins. If you find yourself hiding purchases, text messages or anything else from your spouse, please bring it out into the open. A marriage can’t survive without complete transparency and trust. If you’re doing, saying, texting, spending ANYTHING that you hope your spouse doesn’t find out about, you’re drifting towards a crash if you don’t correct the course.
5. You get more excited about your career or your hobbies than you get about your marriage.
Whenever our best energies, thoughts and goals are geared towards pursuits outside of our marriage and family, our marriage and family will tend to get our leftovers instead of our best efforts. It’s good to work hard and even to have some hobbies, but when those endeavors eclipse our marriage in terms of our excitement or commitment, then we’re drifting in the wrong direction.
6. You and your spouse rarely or never talk about your dreams together for the future.
When you get into the daily grind of work or raising kids and don’t make an intentional effort to keep dreaming new dreams together for the future, you’ll slowly start drifting towards a future without each other. Keep working together to meet new goals and dreaming together about creating new adventures and experiences together. Those are some of the keys to a lifelong love with each other and creating a legacy through your love that will endure for generations to come!
5 Timeless Truths From the Life of Jonah
If you think the story of Jonah is just about being swallowed by a big fish, then you’re missing some incredible truths! Here are five timeless truths from the life of Jonah:
Okay, so the historical setting is the late 8th century BC. Jonah was a Hebrew living in Israel, and the Assyrian Empire was the big bully on the block, occupying modern-day Iraq and dominating the surrounding areas. Their capital city was Nineveh. Now, God didn’t want Jonah to preach against the sin of Nineveh from the comfort of his living room, his local church or his Facebook account. He wanted Jonah to go to Nineveh and preach against them in the middle of Nineveh. That would be like someone asking you to go to the middle of Taliban or ISIS controlled territory and start waving the American flag. I mean, you love your country and everything, but you’d also like to live. So, I don’t blame Jonah for doing what he did, because honestly, I probably would have done it myself. Jonah ran.
So, that didn’t work out so well. I don’t know if Jonah really thought he could run from God, but when you’re desperate, you’ll do just about anything. That leads us to our first timeless truth we can learn from the life of Jonah:
1. You can’t outrun God. This is a timeless truth that Jonah’s life illustrates for us in excruciating detail. Ancients thought that gods were territorial. If you were in Israel you were under the jurisdiction of the God of Israel. But God wasn’t just the God of Israel. He is the God of the heavens and the earth. He has no jurisdiction. Jonah could have sailed all the way to America, and God would have found him. You can’t outrun God.
It’s not that different today. How many people spend years and years running from God? Maybe you think because you can’t see God He can’t see you, so as long as you keep your secret life secret He’ll never find out. Maybe you think that if you run long enough and hard enough and far enough, God will eventually grow tired or lose interest and give up. If Jonah could come down from the stands of faith and speak truth to you, he would say, “you can’t outrun God. I tried, it didn’t work out too well for me.”
You can’t outrun God. If that’s you, right now, if you’re here in body but you’re not here in spirit, if you’re running, let me tell you how that’s going to end for you: badly. Jonah is thrown into the sea, but he doesn’t drown.
Jonah had a come to Jesus conversation in the belly of a whale. It’s hard to keep your dignity and pride when you’re being partially digesting by a whale. So, he decides it’s as good of a time as any to get his life right. Here’s the finish of his prayer:
Some of you have been there. No dignity, no pride, life has beaten you up and literally vomited you back onto dry land. You never, ever, ever thought you would be where you are today. You never thought your career would turn out this way, that your marriage would turn out this way, that your kids would turn out this way. You never thought you would grow old, that you would lose your health, that you would lose your retirement. Whatever it might be, some of you have been and maybe you are right now in the belly of the whale. When you’re there, when you’ve been humbled by life or by God, you can give up, you can get angry, or you can get right. And that’s the second timeless truth from the life of Jonah:
2. If you’re in the belly of the whale, make the most of it. It’s no fun being in the belly of the whale. No one asks for it, you wouldn’t wish it on your worst enemy. But sometimes you find yourself where you never thought you’d be. So, when you’re there, make the most of it. James, the half brother of Jesus, talked about this in the New Testament:
This is called repentance. You can either humble yourself, or you will be humbled in the belly of the whale. Either way, we will all be humbled. That’s not a fun fact we like to celebrate, but it is a fact. So, when life has you beat down, you can give up, you can get angry, or you can get right. It’s never fun being in the belly of the whale, but when you’re there, might as well make the most of it. Jonah was vomited back on dry land, which leads to one of the most hopeful verses in the entire Old Testament, Jonah 3:1.
The word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time. Doesn’t that fill you with hope? That leads to our third timeless truth:
3. God is the God of second chances. I grew up with this notion that the will of God was so narrow and rigidly defined that if I made one bad mistake, I would somehow miss out on the will of God and be on the sidelines the rest of my life. Some of you Christians think that. When you hear about God using people, some of you immediately think to yourselves: “Sure, God could have used me before I went through my 20s. God could have used me before my affair. God could have used me before I made a complete wreck of my life.”
If that’s you, look at the story of Jonah and find hope, because the word of the Lord came to Jonah again, after he had flagrantly disobeyed God and ran to the ends of the earth. If Jonah could get a second chance, so can you. With that, here’s a fourth timeless truth from this same passage in Jonah 3:
4. Stop waiting for God to tell you something different. Just as it’s important to note that God gave Jonah a second chance, it’s also important to note that when God did give Jonah a second chance, He didn’t give Jonah a different directive. God gave Jonah a second chance to follow through and obey what God had originally told Jonah.
And that’s important for us to remember today. Many times we’re on the sidelines, not because God put us there but because we put ourselves there by refusing to do what He’s asked us to do. Some of us have this mistaken notion that if we don’t like something God has asked us to do, if we just wait long enough God will change His mind and ask us to do something more agreeable to us. God doesn’t work that way.
It’s God’s world, we’re just living in it. If you would say, “God hasn’t spoken to me in years. I haven’t heard His voice for decades,” I would tell you: go back to the last thing God told you to do and do it. God is always waiting for us at the point of our obedience to what He’s already told us to do. If God’s clearly told you something to do but you don’t like it and you’re waiting until God tells you something different, just a heads up, you might be waiting around awhile.
That’s the fourth truth. There’s one more, but we need to set this up with a bit of narrative that comes from the last chapter in the book of Jonah:
The large powerful pagan nation suddenly repents and turns to God. That doesn’t sound realistic, but it’s actually not that farfetched. This was a particularly rough stretch for the Assyrian Empire. There was widespread famine during this time, there were numerous revolts from the countries they had conquered, and there was an auspicious solar eclipse that happened in this time, which for a superstitious people would have freaked them out and would have been a sign that the gods weren’t happy with them.
And there’s an outside chance that when Jonah was spit back up on dry ground, somebody saw him. Perhaps his story preceded him before he even walked into the city. Either way, the completely unexpected happened and the people of Nineveh repented and turned to God, which was great! Wasn’t it? Well, not to Jonah.
Jonah didn’t want to see the city of Nineveh repent. He wanted to see it burn. That’s our last timeless truth:
5. Do you truly want the world to repent or would you rather see it burn? Those people on the opposite end of the political spectrum, those people that practice a different religion, those people who support values that you abhor, do you truly want to see them repent and turn to Jesus or would you rather see them judged? Do we want to see the world repent or would we rather see it burn? That’s a heart check moment for each of us. Because God calls Jonah on the carpet for his heart:
When we show concern about things but not about people, our hearts are not in a good place. God didn’t say the plant wasn’t important, He said that it wasn’t right to show concern for the plant but no concern whatsoever for the people. Think about how hard Jonah’s heart had to have become to walk through the streets of Nineveh for forty days and preach. That’s what he did. He looked in the eyes of thousands of people. He saw women and men, young and old. And he wanted them all to burn. And he was angry enough to die when they turned to God. As Christians, I pray that we never give off the impression of Jonah, that we actually want the world to burn, that we care more about things or buildings or traditions than we do about people.
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He Will Turn Our Grief into Joy
God doesn’t only promise to replace our grief with joy, but to turn it into joy. Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy. A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy” (John 16:20–22).
Jesus could have said, “Your grief will end, and joy will begin,” or, “Joy will replace your grief.” But these would separate the grief from the joy. Christ’s words connect them: your sorrow will turn into joy (verse 20, ESV). It could be translated “your grief will become joy.” The Message puts it, “You’ll be sad, very sad, but your sadness will develop into gladness.” (Similarly, sorrow turns into joy in Esther 9:22, wailing turns into dancing in Psalm 30:11, and mourning turns into gladness in Jeremiah 31:13.)
A woman giving birth suffers in a way directly connected to her impending joy. The child comes through suffering, and therefore the joy of having the child flows out of suffering. God transforms suffering into joy. Joy both eclipses and redeems the suffering.
Moffatt translates Romans 8:22, “The entire creation sighs and throbs in pain.” There’s a radical difference between death pangs, which anticipate an ending and look backward, and birth pangs, which anticipate a beginning and look forward. The old, fallen, cursed Earth, convulsing and groaning in the final pains of childbearing, will birth a New Earth. Earth will not merely survive, it will live forever, in ever-increasing wonder and glory—as will we, its caretakers, redeemed and birthed through the pains of this present time.
In Tolkien’s Return of the King, Aragorn says, “Dawn is ever the hope of men.” King David wrote, “Weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning” (Psalm 30:5, NASB).
The night may seem long, but the truth is this: once it comes, the morning will never end.
Neither will the joy.
Don’t Do, Don’t Desire
The Ten Words include twelve negative commands. Most of the verbs that are negated are unique:1) Thou shalt not have (lo’ yihyeh-leka; literally, “there shalt not be to thee”) other gods.
2) Thou shalt not prostrate (lo’-tishtachweh) to them (i.e., images).
3) Thou shalt not serve them (lo’ ta’avdem; again, images).
4) Thou shalt not bear (lo’ tissa’) the name of Yahweh lightly.
5) Thou shalt not kill (lo’ tirtzach).
6) Thou shalt not commit adultery (lo’ tin’aph).
7) Thou shalt not steal (lo’ tignav).
8) Thou shalt not bear (lo’-ta’aneh) false witness.
Two of the negative verbs, though, are used twice:
9) Thous shalt not make (lo’ ta’aseh-leka) for yourself an image.
10) On the seventh day, thou shalt not do (lo’-ta’aseh) any work.
11) Thou shalt not covet (lo’ tachmod) the house of your neighbor.
12) Thou shalt not covet (lo’-tachmod) the wife of your neighbor.
This is interesting. Many of the prohibited actions are, we might say, obviously immoral (killing, adultery, stealing, lying). Others are clearly evil in the sight of the God of Israel (having other gods, prostrating to and serving images, bearing His name thoughtlessly).
The two verbs that are negative twice, though, are either typically positive or at least neutral. ‘asah – doing or making – is something Yahweh Himself does (cf. the Fourth Word, Exodus 20:11). chamad simply means “desire” (cf. Genesis 2:9; Psalm 19:10), and can describe right desires as well as sinful ones.
At least we can say this: What is most divine about man – our ability to make and do – is under the dominion of God. God intrudes even on this Godlike power, telling us what we cannot make and when we cannot make it. And what is most intimate to us – the impulses and movements of our souls – are also under His authority. He tells us what we ought not desire, and what we ought.
For men and women, there is no region of autonomy, no God-free zone of absolute freedom. Inside and out, in doing and not-doing, we are His.
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My brother’s death made me an angry atheist. But kindness made me a Christian.
There are many things that cause people to question God’s existence. The presence of suffering in the world and our own lives is often a key factor. This was the case for Mike Arnold who lost his faith at the age of 7. Jana Harmon, whose PhD research is in adult conversion, tells Mike’s story of losing his faith and then rediscovering it years later.
Mike became an atheist when he was 7 years old. My intuition told me that something significant must have happened in his life to have him turned against God at such an early age. After we settled in at an English coffee shop across from the train station, I quickly moved the conversation towards his story and his curiously precarious childhood. It didn’t take very long before his tragedy poured out:
That moment I paused, set my tea cup on the table and said: “I’m so sorry about what happened to you.” It felt as if we could not move forward without duly recognizing Mike’s pain and loss. What a strange thing it is upon first meeting someone to know their most acute and personal misfortune in the first five minutes, the traumatic event upon which his next two decades fed upon and fuelled.
One moment, a stranger. The next moment, a friend. Sometimes it is easiest to reveal yourself to a person unknown and yet safe. I was thankful for his clear, revealing account and the immediate trust shared between us.
Angry With God
For Mike, God was not good, not worthy of his belief. Even more than that, not worthy of anyone’s belief. His childhood tragedy triggered a path of depression and guilt, suicide attempts and contempt towards all things religious. He possessed an expressed hatred towards God, religious places and people. Confused and anguished by his shocking childhood ordeal, Mike questioned and challenged:A Spanner in the Works
I sat there listening to his story wondering to myself what it would take for Mike or someone like him to change, to become open towards the possibility of God again, of the Sunday school Jesus who loves him. He was a militant atheist. Disbelief fuelled through emotional pain soon became clothed in rational armour. Atheism was the intellectually superior view and no one could convince him otherwise. Until Mike’s wife moved from agnosticism to Christian faith. Her newfound belief in God only served to isolate and anger him even more:
Meeting his wife’s Christian friends for the first time, he anticipated a heated exchange. Instead, he was surprised by their warm hospitality, their genuine offer of friendship, valuing him as he had never known. His emotional anger suddenly deflated like a popped balloon. He recounts their first meeting:
The Journey Back
Mike had not merely alienated himself from anything and anyone religious, but pushed and pressed away from most relationships. Their personable, caring conversations with him left him wanting for more. He said: “I kept going there because I was intrigued by these people who were Christians.” Over several weeks, his walls began to erode as he was continually welcomed in love and acceptance.After a month of going back and forth, he started talking to them and questioning them. For the next six months he went on a daily basis and would talk about Jesus, the Bible, Genesis, science and other issues.
They gave substantive answers to his objections. After exhausting all of his questions, his Christian friend said: “What are you holding against God? Would you mind if I prayed for you?” Reluctantly, Mike agreed. But, something profound occurred in and through that prayer. He found peace that he had never known. Explaining his utter surprise at this turn of events and emotions, Mike said:
Life Change
Peace remained. Mikes’ arguments against God lost their weight. He had nothing left but to surrender and accept this offer of grace and peace that was granted him. With an extraordinary life change, Mike now spends his time serving his town as a community pastor, explaining,Mike understands the depths of pain and darkness and ministers to those who are emotionally hurting from a personal place. He also understands the intellectual depths and spiritual riches in Christ. His is satisfied, living in a way that others may know and feel what he has found.
The Goodness of God
With the teapot empty, I left the coffee shop with fresh hope in the possibility of life change and renewal. Deep hardness, resentment and pain can be dissolved with genuine love, compassion, valuing, and care. Damaged, distraught, inward-focused souls can be repurposed towards generous, other-centered living. Doubting, resistant minds can find objective truth and substantive answers to the questions of reality and life.At least in this case it was. For Mike, God is good after all. At the end of our conversation, it felt like seeds of transformation were not only sown in the story teller, but were being planted in the listener as well.
C.S. Lewis and Life’s Simple Pleasures
Beauty can invigorate our working hectic lives, if only we let it.I’ve spoken with writers, pastors, mothers, and fathers who tell me, “I just don’t have time to get out and spend time in nature or go for a walk or just sit and listen. I’m too busy.”
And I get it. I fall into those seasons as well. But over the last five years, those seasons are few and far between. Why?
Well, C.S. Lewis had something to do with it.
The Simplicity of Beauty
Beauty begins in the simple. A bee in a blossom. Our children singing in their beds when they think we can’t hear them. A walk in the rain.And it is in those simple moments we find ourselves.
In his “Memoir of C.S. Lewis,” Warren Lewis, C.S. Lewis’s older brother, recalls how “Jack” (C.S. Lewis’s self-chosen childhood nickname) did not envy the modern child, save for their ability to use “gumboots and oilskins and a sou’wester” for outdoor play during periods of rain.
Jack loved a good romp on the countryside. If he were alive today I’ve no doubt he’d don Patagonia’s Torrent Shell rain jacket and a nice pair of Danner. At least that’s what my American imagination believes.
As the brothers reminisced about their childhood years later, Warren noted how:
The theme of beauty remained a central thread throughout Lewis’s life.
In fact, Jack described himself as a beauty hunter. He spent his life trying to find that place where all the beauty came from.
And that pursuit nurtured his work.
The Simple Beauty of Landscape
Beauty, for Lewis, began in the simple beauty of landscape and transposed itself into the literature Lewis came to love and master. Warren Lewis noted:During the time in Great Bookham, Surrey Lewis’s intellectual powers developed in lockstep with his imaginative acumen. The Surrey countryside fueled him both intellectually and imaginatively.
Lewis worked hard as an academic and writer but understood how vital the role of beauty played to nourish his pursuits.
Beauty as Soul-food
The more I study Lewis and his writing, the more I find a man of simple yet robust tastes. A man who took the time to imbibe the simplicity of the beauty around him.It was no frivolous pursuit. Beauty, as it turned out, was food for the soul.
Lewis enjoyed the habit of walking the garden before breakfast in order to drink in “the beauty of the morning, thanking God for the weather, the roses, the song of the birds, and anything else he could find to enjoy.”
What about you?
When was the last time you took a walk only to pick out the beauties surrounding you, thanking God for them? If you’re anything like me, it’s been too long.
You don’t have to be a literary giant, a great philosopher, or wackadoo mystic to understand and appreciate beauty.
You just have to be willing to take a walk and, as Tolstoy says, look around you.
6 Tips to Overcoming Fear of Commitment
A recent survey found that 84% of women and 82% of men in the US crave commitment and report that being married someday is “very” or “somewhat” important to them. That said, many people seek lasting commitment, often in the form of marriage. This can be a healthy desire if we bring realistic expectations to it. But many adults don’t have a healthy template of marriage to follow when it comes to nurturing and sustaining a committed relationship, making it difficult to know where to start.
Are young adults abandoning commitment all together? No exactly but over the last fifty years, there has been a quiet shift in the landscape of family life in America. Approximately 50 percent of adults over age eighteen marry; this number is compared to 72% in 1960, according to The Pew Research Center. The medium age at first marriage has never been higher for brides (26.5 years) and grooms (28.7years) according to this report.
Some think this decline is because the progression of individualism has made it more difficult for couples to achieve satisfying and stable relationships. Others believe that changes, such as increasing acceptance of singlehood and cohabitation, have made our lives richer because we have more opportunities for personal growth.
Most observers agree that ambiguity in romantic relationships is on the increase in the past decade and options range from friends with benefits to indecision about permanent commitment. Perhaps one the most compelling reasons is cultural since the first generation of children to grow up witnessing mass divorce are now making their own decisions about love and commitment.
In fact, fear of relationship failure plagues many of us who grew up in a culture of divorce, even if our parents stayed together. It makes sense that people in their 20’s and 30’s might hedge their bets and see relationships as risky if they watched their parents’ marriage fail or even relatives and friend’s parents’ marriage collapse.
6 Tips to Overcoming Your Fear of Commitment:
- Face your fear of commitment. If you still have baggage from the past that is unresolved, do your best to seek counseling or attend a support group.
- Don’t let your “What Ifs” get in your way. This might range from “What if I get hurt” to “What if this relationship ends in divorce.” Challenge your thinking and don’t give in to self-sabotaging thoughts.
- Remember that life is more rewarding when you take risks and make a commitment to someone who seems to be a good match for you and is trustworthy. If you wait for the perfect partner or soul mate you may never find love. This doesn’t mean that you should settle for less than you deserve.
- Take your time dating someone and make sure you’ve known them for at least two years to reduce your chance of divorce. What’s the rush? Give yourself the chance to really get to know a new partner gradually so you can develop a true friendship.
- Make sure that you have common values with individuals who you date. If you marry someone with drastically different values, you will face complex issues that could put you more at risk for divorce.
- Learn to trust your judgment and be consistent with your commitment. Commitment to someone you love and consider your best friend and partner is not an on-again, off-again proposition.
What is it that holds you back from achieving a satisfying relationship? And once you have it, what will you do when you get there? These questions can help guide you to making a decision that is best for you. Remember, commitment to the right person, who you are compatible with, can bring joy and happiness. But by all means take your time and don’t let others pressure you into making a commitment before you are ready.
Ten parenting tips that can instantly impact your family
When Ashley and I became parents a decade ago, we were pretty clueless about how to take care of this little human being who was now our responsibility. Along the way, we’ve been collecting good parenting advice for mentors, books and anywhere else we can find it. I need all the help I can get, because parenting is the hardest (and also the most important) responsibility I’ve ever been given.
Below is a list of the some of the advice that’s helped us the most. I’ve still got a lot to learn, but these tips have been a tremendous source of instruction and encouragement, and I hope they’re encouraging to you as well.
In no particular order…
1. Be there for your kids in the moments that are important for them, not just the moments that are convenient for you. Kids measure your love by your time.
2. Don’t miss out on a beautiful moment with your kids, because you’re trying so hard to capture that moment to share it on social media. Put the camera away sometimes and simply savor the moment. Encourage them to put down screens too. Families need less screen time and more face time.
3. Give clear rule and expectations, but remember that rules without relationships lead to rebellion. All our rules must come from a place of love or they’ll eventually lead to rebellion (and sometimes they’ll lead to rebellion anyways, but keep loving your kids).
4. Don’t try to make your kids think you’re “perfect.” Just be real with them. Kids aren’t looking for perfection; they’re looking for authenticity.
5. When you’ve blown it, apologize. It doesn’t make you look weak. A genuine apology from you is the best way to teach your kids how and why to apologize when they mess up.
6. If you have multiple children, try to block off some time each day (even if it’s only ten minutes) where you can have uninterrupted, one-on-one time with each child. The relationship dynamics completely change in a one-on-one setting.
7. Teach your kids to be honest more than you teach any other virtue, because honesty is the foundation for all the other virtues, and trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship.
8. The Bible (which actually has all kinds of great parenting insights) says, “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” (Proverbs 22:6) In other words, don’t just leave your kids on autopilot. Be intentional about defining the right path and helping them stay on the right path.
9. Don’t put your marriage on hold while you’re raising your kids or else you’ll end up with an “empty nest” and an empty marriage! One of the greatest gifts you can give your children is to have the kind of marriage that actually makes them want to get married someday.
10. Through your words and your actions, constantly communicate your love for them. The Bible says that “love covers over a multitude of sins.” That means love has a way of healing all those areas where we blow it as parents. If love remains our top parenting priority, everything else tends to fall into place.
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4 OPTIONS WHEN THE CULTURE MOCKS AND OPPOSES YOUR FAITH: A Study in 1 Peter
Like so many college students who are weary of being mocked by their professors for being Bible-believing Christians and getting their grades reduced, husbands who are mocked by their buddies for not looking at porn or partying with their coworkers after work, wives who forego a professional career to stay at home to be a wife and mother, virgin singles who are the punchline of jokes at the gym for waiting until marriage to have sex, and net surfers who can’t stomach one more nasty blog or negative news story about their faith and church, the resolve of those who first received 1 Peter was tried. Various people were pulled in a variety of directions:
1.Some were enticed by the liberal route of compromise to not eliminate their Bible as much as edit it. They wanted to cut out—or at least explain away—the parts of the Bible that they were being criticized for believing. In our day, this would be most typified by the mainline liberal Christian denominations with pastors who endorse all religions and spiritualities and officiate marriages between any genders, under the oversight of unsaved bishops who appreciate their tolerance, pluralism, and minds so open that their brains fall out. This is one of the central issues at the heart of 2 Peter.
2. Some were compelled to privatize their faith. Sure, in private they would pray to and worship Jesus. But in public they would shut their mouths and keep their faith to themselves so as to not be considered the weirdo for Jesus. Some were closet Christians.
3. Some were considering abandoning their faith altogether. They were tired of being the butt of jokes in the press and on the late-night talk shows and wearied of being the laughingstock Jesus Freaks. Why? Because most people simply do not like being the oddball, misfit, and outcast—especially those who are young and want to be cool and those who are old with privileged social positions to uphold and lifestyles to fund. Our day is like theirs. Carrying a Bible around is about as socially acceptable as walking around with your underwear outside your pants.
4. Still others were attracted to the fighting posture of religious fundamentalism. They were preparing to separate from the culture, set up their own subculture, defend themselves, and talk trash about the non- Christians who were criticizing them, all in the name of a culture war. In the fight or flight cycle, these are the fighters who declare Jihad for Jesus.
If any of these four options were chosen by the churches Peter writes to, it would have simply died in one way or another. The work of Jesus would have stopped in that region and so Peter had to help them navigate living their faith in a hostile culture. So, Peter opens by calling Christians “elect exiles”. Elect meant they were chosen by God. Exiles meant they were far away from their Heavenly Home. Sent as missionaries, although hated by the culture, they were to bring the culture of Heaven to lost people in hopes that love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness would see people saved and culture changed. Our mission and message remain the same. Peter’s constant message through 1 Peter is that Christians should expect to get treated like Christ, and by the power of the Holy Spirit respond with the loving humble courage of Christ so that they see Christ through us without us getting in the way.
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An Adventure in Non-Avoidance
I really value harmony. I don’t like conflict or division. It is like nails on a chalkboard to me.As such, I tend to avoid things. If someone texts me, it usually takes me a while to respond. And that is the best of circumstances. I’ve been known to completely ignore an awkward text or two. I tend to agree with whoever is right in front of me, trying to find the truth in their perspectives but also trying to avoid disagreement.
All of this avoidance boils down to one thing: I am afraid of failing. Terrified, actually. And I will do all I can to avoid it. I hide from people, which is a challenge in my relationships and community.
The worst thing about this mentality is that it pushes one into an imagined reality. I start to see the worst people might say and assume they’ve already said it. I imagine how things might go wrong. Every circumstance, every encounter, threatens to define me.
Non-Avoidance
Earlier this year, I decided I was going to try to do better with all of this. I decided I would tell people when I didn’t want to do something. I would answer questions about how I feel more honestly. I wouldn’t work so hard to edit emails and texts to get the wording just right.It has been oddly freeing. Turns out, the people who love me aren’t afraid of my boundaries. They don’t need me to say yes to everything or agree to everything. They don’t need my carefully concocted excuses as much as they need my upfront honesty.
I recently texted a friend, “no thanks. It has been a long week and I just want to stay in tonight.” He responded with, “great, We’ll get you next time”.
I’ve found that when I just put my honest responses out there, people are more gracious than I ever gave them credit for. And I am more okay with their disappointment than I imagined. And the end result is I am not carrying around all the what ifs for nearly as long.
It frees up my emotion, loosens my concerns, and gives the people around me a chance to share real reality with me, thus freeing me from my false narrative.
The other thing I have noticed about non-avoidance is that it allows me to have a more positive impact on the people around me. I am not so afraid of messing up. I’m not so busy cowering in corners to protect myself from imagined invaders. I am more able to move, to influence, to seek and share truth within my communities.
There is still a pit in my stomach when I have to share bad news or give an answer I know isn’t what someone wants to hear.
Not all the responses have been as quick and kind as the example above. Some have given me the silent treatment. But I’ve come to see those people are probably more worried about what I am thinking about them than what they think of my answers.
I am still a long way off. I still spend way too much time avoiding the hard and awkward facets of reality and relationship. But I am discovering a courage to encounter it more freely.
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