In step

[RiverOL]

Out of Weakness - Strength!
For reading & meditation - Hebrews 11:30-40
"... out of weakness were made strong ..." (v. 34, KJV)

When I first felt the urge to write on the theme: "Strong at the broken places," I had great difficulty in tracing its origin. Then someone wrote to me, quoting the full phrase from the writings of Ernest Hemingway, who said: "Life breaks us all ... but many are made strong at the broken places." I felt this to be a gentle nudge from the Holy Spirit, and began at once to put my thoughts together on this thrilling theme. It is a principle of life that the place in which a bone breaks and then heals will be so strong that, generally speaking, it will never break there again.

In the same way, when the skin is cut and scar tissue forms, the healed part becomes tougher than the surrounding skin. If this happens in the natural, why not in the spiritual? The writer to the Hebrews tells us, in the passage before us today, that God is expert at taking the weaknesses of His children and turning them into strength. What an encouraging truth! A traveler in the Netherlands tells how his guide pointed out an historic site.

"This is where the sea broke through," he said, "causing thousands to drown. But see - it is now so strongly reinforced that it will never break through there again." Have you been broken by life to such an extent that you feel an overwhelming sense of weakness? Then take heart - God specializes in matching His ability to your disability. By His transforming grace, your frustration can become fruitful. You can be strong at the broken places.

Prayer:
O Father, this sounds fine as theory, but can it really become a fact? Your Word says it can. I am ready and eager to learn. Teach me, my Father. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

 

[RiverOL]

Healing Life's Hurts Part I

"When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, 'Do you want to get well?'"1

When I first met Jennifer at a seminar I was leading, she was very withdrawn and her face, apart from sad eyes, was expressionless. She said little all day but her body language spoke volumes. It didn't take a great deal of insight to realize that Jennifer was in pain—deep pain.

I was quite busy and didn't give any more thought to Jennifer until a few weeks later when she turned up a thousand miles away at a more intensive week-long counseling workshop. Here her story unfolded.

Jennifer was at breaking point. She had a young son and was about to give him up for adoption. She told us she was so afraid to be touched she couldn't stand her own child hugging her. It was no surprise to learn that Jennifer was a rape victim—repeated rape. In fact, her son was a child of rape. This terrible abuse started when she was very young and left her paralyzed with fear.

Like a lion in the forest preys on wounded animals, perpetrating men saw Jennifer as easy prey and had been violating her for much of her 40 years. She came to our counseling week as a last hope. Since nothing else had worked, she determined that if she didn't find help here, she was going to take her life.

Fortunately, Jennifer found a place where she felt safe to share her story and express the incredibly painful emotions that had been bottled up inside since she was repeatedly raped as a small child and as an adolescent. Time and again she had been used and shamed. She felt ugly, dirty, unlovable, and despised.

To be healed Jennifer needed to share not only what had happened to her (where she had been sinned against) but also all of the hurt, shame, anger (rage), and terror she felt. Although her painful emotions were justified by the horrible mistreatment she had suffered, Jennifer had turned these emotions against herself and they were all but destroying her.

To be continued . . .

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to be available to people who are hurting, and give me a listening ear, an understanding heart, and an accepting spirit so those needing to share their struggles will feel safe to do so with me. And please use me to be a 'wounded healer.' Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

 

[RiverOL]

The "Inner-Stances"
For reading & meditation - 2 Corinthians 4
"We are handicapped on all sides ... we may be knocked down but we are never knocked out!" (vv. 8-9, J. B. Phillips)

Why is it that while the same things can happen to us all, they may not have the same effect upon us all? The same thing happening to two different people may have entirely different effects. Why should this be so? It depends not so much on the circumstances, but on the "inner-stances" - or, in other words, our inner attitudes. As someone has said, "What life does to us in the long run depends on what life finds in us." Life's blows can make some people querulous and bitter, others they sweeten and refine; the same events, but with opposite effects.

The Gospels tell us that there were three crosses set up on Calvary on the first Good Friday. The same event happened to three different people, but look at the different results. One thief complained and blamed Jesus for not saving Himself and them; the other thief recognized his own unworthiness, repented of it and found an open door to Paradise. Jesus, of course, saw it as the climax of His earthly achievements and made it the fulcrum on which He moved the world. What counts, therefore, is not so much what happens to us, but what we do with it.

The same sunshine falling on two different plants can cause one to wither and die, while the other will blossom and flourish. And why? It all depends on the response the plants make. Although, of course, they both need water, one plant is more suited to hot sunshine than the other, and therefore responds with more life and growth, while the other shrivels up and dies.

Prayer: Gracious heavenly Father, write this precept upon my heart so that I shall never forget it: it's not so much what happens to me, but what I do with it that is important. Thank You, Father. Amen

 

[RiverOL]

Help Lord, Help!

"Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, 'Lord, save me!'"1

A while back there was a television ad where a fellow is walking merrily along the sidewalk (footpath) minding his own business when he looks up and sees an attractive woman coming towards him. As he fixes his gaze on her, he is suddenly and rudely awakened as he walks directly into a lamppost. If this were true, one could just imagine the woman in question being highly amused.

I know I've certainly walked into things when I was looking in the wrong direction . . . or even worse, when I was looking in the right direction but my mind was on something else.

One is reminded of the words of Hannah More who said, "Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal." Even more important is to be constantly aware of the trouble we can get into if or when we take our eyes off the Lord and decide to go our own way.

It's hard to imagine Peter being afraid of sinking in the lake when he took his eyes off the Lord. Being a fisherman, Peter surely was a powerful swimmer. I couldn't imagine him not being one. For whatever reason Peter was afraid and, fortunately for him, as soon as he realized he was in trouble, he looked back to Jesus and cried out, "Lord, save me."

That's a good lesson for us to do likewise when we take our eyes off the Lord and acknowledge the fact that we are either in trouble or heading towards it.

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, help me to always keep my eyes on you and follow your leading in all areas of my life. But if and when I do take my eyes off you and begin to 'sink,' help me to quickly see the error of my way, turn back to you, and cry out, 'Lord, save me.' Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

1. Matthew 14:30 (NIV).

 

[RiverOL]

Are Christians Exempt?
For reading & meditation - Matthew 5:38-48
"... He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous." (v. 45)



We are meditating on the theme, "Strong at the broken places," and we are discovering that although life deals blows to us all, those who meet life with the right responses and the right inner attitudes are those who turn their weaknesses into strengths. I know some Christians who believe that they ought to be exempt from the cruel blows of life. A young man who was stunned after failing his examination said, "I cannot understand. I prayed very hard before the examination, and I lived an exemplary life for the Lord. Why, oh why, should He fail me at this important moment?"

Later he confessed to a friend, "As a result of God letting me down, my faith in Him has been shattered." I can sympathize with the young man's feelings, of course, but I cannot agree with his conclusions. Suppose prayer alone could enable us to pass examinations - what would happen? Prior to examination time, classrooms would be deserted, and everyone would flock to the churches for prayer and meditation. Not a bad situation, you might think. But what would happen to the minds of young people if prayer alone brought success?

They would become blunted by lack of study. I suspect the young man I have just referred to was depending more on prayer than on diligent and painstaking study. Now prayer and study make a good combination, but prayer without study never helped anyone pass an examination. Christians are not exempt from the natural laws that govern the universe. We may through prayer be able to overcome them, but we are not able to avoid them.

Prayer: Father, thank You for reminding me that even though I am a Christian, I am still governed by natural laws that apply equally to everyone. I cannot be exempt, but through You I can overcome. I am so grateful. Amen.

 

[RiverOL]

They will call him Immanuel, which means “God is with us.”
—Matthew 1:23 NLT

After Jesus’ resurrection, two of His followers were walking to the village of Emmaus. In the midst of their deep conversation, Jesus came and walked along with them, “but they were not able to recognize who he was” (Luke 24:13-32 MSG).

When Jesus inquired about what they were discussing, the men stood there, downcast for they had lost their dearest friend and beloved companion. Then they described to Him how Jesus the Nazarene had been a mighty, miracle-working prophet, and that He was loved both by God and His fellow man. Sadly, though, they related that Jesus had been crucified, and their hopes crushed. They were sure He would deliver Israel from the heavy yoke of the Romans. All the while, the risen Christ was standing right by their side!

Perhaps you’re like these men traveling to Emmaus; struggling with some trial or loss that seems devastating. Remember: Even when you don’t yet recognize Him, Jesus is right there with you!

 

[RiverOL]

How Do You Respond?
For reading & meditation - Hebrews 12:4-15
"Be careful that none of you fails to respond to the grace which God gives, for if he does there can ... spring up in him a bitter spirit ..." (v. 15, J. B. Phillips)

Today we must examine an issue that may be extremely challenging to us Christians, but we must face it nevertheless. Why is it that many non-Christians, though broken by life, succeed in becoming "strong at the broken places," while many Christians go through similar experiences and come out crippled and bitter? A few years ago I watched a television program in the United States in which a famous Jew, Victor Frankl, talked about his experiences in a concentration camp in Nazi Germany.

When he was brought before the Gestapo, they stripped him naked and then, noticing that he was still wearing his gold wedding ring, one of the soldiers said, "Give it to me." As he removed his ring, this thought went through his mind: "They can take my ring, but there is one thing nobody can take from me - my freedom to choose how I will respond to what happens to me." On the strength of that, he not only survived the Holocaust, but also developed his whole psychiatric system called Logotherapy, which states that "when you find meaning in everything, then you can face anything."

Frankl, a non-Christian, survived the horrors of the Holocaust because he was sustained by an inner conviction that he would come through it, and be able to use the suffering to good effect. His system of Logotherapy is now being used to help thousands who have mental and emotional problems. If a non-Christian, bereft of redemptive grace, can respond to life in this way, then how much more those of us who claim to be His children?

Prayer: O Father, whenever You corner me like this, You know my tendency to wriggle and try to get off the hook. Help me to face this issue and take my medicine, however bitter it tastes. For Jesus' sake. Amen.

 

[RiverOL]

Hitting the Throttle

And we all . . . are being transformed
. . . from one degree of glory to another—2 Corinthians 3:18

There’s a pattern to the lives of men trying to follow Jesus Christ: sin, confession, repentance, change . . . sin, confession, repentance, change. There are other aspects to these men’s lives, but this pattern is always present. It ensures that lives are transformed, over time—that sins changeand lessen in severity through the cycles of the pattern. It is, in this way, an upward spiral of increasingly coming into the character of Jesus. The pattern ensures that no man gets stuck in sin, or worse, in a downward, ever more severe, spiral of sin.

God the Holy Spirit—when and if we offer our lives to Jesus—will guide us into upward spirals. If we hold onto our lives, though, we’ll inevitably slip into downward ones. It may not be obvious at first, maybe not for years, until we can deny it no longer—until anger, anxiety, depression, despondency, loneliness, isolation, boredom, or rebellion take over. And, even then, we can still offer our lives to Jesus and begin upward spirals. The penitent thief, crucified next to Jesus, began one just minutes before his death (Luke 23:40-43).

Now, being men, a question arises: can we hit the throttle of change? Can we speed the velocity of our upward spirals? Absolutely. The Spirit does most of the work—it’s called grace. But, we can couple more and more of our obedience to more and more of his grace and, thereby, crank up the speed of our transformations . . . and, in fact, the transformations of our faith communities.

Get into community with other men. Create a safe place for authentic, raw confession. Encourage each other to turn from sin, from wrong beliefs about yourselves and about God. Pray expectantly for ever more change. Do just those . . . and things will get interesting quickly.

 

[RiverOL]

Two Men - Different Reactions
For reading & meditation - 2 Corinthians 12:1-10
"... 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'" (v. 9)

We must spend another day examining this very important issue of why it is that some non-Christians seem to respond better to life's problems than many Christians. Just recently I heard of two different people whose business ventures collapsed. One was a Christian and the other an agnostic. The agnostic responded to the situation by saying, "I cannot determine what happens to me, but I can determine what it will do to me. It will make me better and more useful." He struck out in another direction, and his new venture prospered to such a degree that he won an award.

The Christian responded to the collapse of his business by saying, "Life is unjust. What's the point of trying? I shall withdraw from the cutthroat world of business and concentrate on my garden." He had to undergo some in-depth counseling before he was on his feet again, and after six months he felt strong enough to rebuild a new and now prosperous business.

What can explain the different reactions of these two men? We could explain it in terms of temperament, upbringing, and so on, but there is one thing that must not be overlooked - the Christian had access to the grace of God which, if utilized, should have enabled him to view the situation even more positively than the non-Christian. As a counselor, I understand why people respond wrongly to life's situations. However, my understanding of it does not prevent me from recognizing that the true biblical response to life's problems is to take full advantage of the grace of God and turn every setback into a springboard.

Prayer:
Gracious Father, help me to respond to everything in the way a Christian should. Help me to see that not only do You lift the standard high, but You also supply the strength for me to attain it. For Jesus' sake. Amen.

 

[RiverOL]

Persistence Pays

"And so, since God in his mercy has given us this wonderful ministry, we never give up."1

Jacob Riis wrote, "I'd look at one of my stone-cutters hammering away at a rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet, at the hundred and first blow, it would split in two, and I knew it was not that blow that did it, but all that had gone before."2

Like the Apostle Paul, if we are to live a meaningful life that will reap eternal rewards, we too, need to have a worthwhile purpose for which to live. When we know that our purpose is in harmony with God's will, it is imperative that we never give up working to fulfill that purpose. In time, we will reap if we don't faint. Certainly we will have setbacks, disappointments, and failures, but remember the only real failure is not to get back up one more time than we've fallen or been knocked down.

Like Michelangelo who said, "I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free," we need to see in our mind's eye our God-given life purpose and keep "carving and hammering away" until it is achieved.

As God's Word also says, "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."3

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to see clearly your purpose for my life and keep 'hammering away' until that purpose, with your help, is fulfilled in my life. And grant that my life will thus help others and bring glory to you so that I will never feel that I have lived my life in vain. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

 

[RiverOL]

Doing What is Right
For reading & meditation - Philippians 2:5-16
"... continue to work out your salvation ... for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose." (vv. 12-13)

We ended yesterday's devotional by saying that the biblical response to all of life's problems is to take advantage of the unfailing grace of God, and turn our setbacks into springboards. I know that some will respond to that statement by saying, "It sounds good in theory, but it's hard to put it into practice. What about the hurts that some people carry inside them, that make it difficult or sometimes impossible for them to make use of God's grace to turn their problems into possibilities?"

I do understand and sympathize with the wounds that people have, which sometimes militate against their desire to respond to life in a biblical way. I know from firsthand experience the arguments that people can put forward to avoid doing what God asks in His Word. However, I must take my stand, and so must you, on the authority of Scripture, and affirm that God never asks us to do what we are incapable of doing.

Much of evangelical Christianity, I am afraid, is man-centered. We need a return to a God-centered position which does exactly what God asks, whether we feel like it or not. I freely confess that there are times when I don't feel like obeying God. I know, however, what is right - that God has redeemed me and that I belong to Him - and I do what He wants me to whether I feel like it or not. What controls you in your Christian life - your feelings or what you know God asks and expects you to do? Your answer will reveal just who is in the driver's seat!

Prayer:
Gracious and loving heavenly Father, teach me the art of responding to life, not with my feelings but with a clear mind and a clear resolve. Help me to do what is right - whether I feel like it or not. For Jesus' sake. Amen..

 

[RiverOL]

Servant Authority

Jesus said, "The greatest among you will be your servant. For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted."1

Brett Blair shares how "Robert Fulghum, who wrote 'All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten,' says that he placed alongside the mirror in his bathroom a picture of a woman who is not his wife. Every morning as he stood there shaving, he looked at the picture of that woman.

"The picture? The picture is of a small humped-over woman wearing sandals and a blue eastern robe and headdress (sari). She is surrounded by important-looking people in tuxedos, evening gowns, and the regalia of royalty. It is the picture of Mother Teresa, receiving the Nobel Peace Prize!

"Fulghum said he keeps that picture there to remind him that, more than a president of any nation, more than any pope, more than any chief executive officer of a major corporation, that woman has authority because she is a servant!"2

According to Jesus' words, Mother Teresa, at the time of her receiving the Nobel Peace Prize, was quite likely the greatest among all those surrounding her. Fortunately, there are multiplied thousands of others around the world serving God in humble ways with limited means, who, without earthly recognition or fame, are great in the eyes of the Lord. God doesn't call many of us to fame and fortune, but he calls us all to be faithful in serving him with the gifts he has given to us. And if perchance, what we do gains us recognition, fame and/or fortune, let that be used to glorify God in the serving of others.

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, whatever my calling, whatever my lot, whatever my circumstances, and whatever my gifting, help me to use all to serve others and glorify you. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

 

[RiverOL]

Get Hold of This!
For reading & meditation - Romans 8:28-39
"... we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (v. 28)

Before going on to examine some of the major ways in which life breaks us, we pause to review what we have been saying over these past few days. We said that while the same things may happen to us all, they do not have the same effect upon us all. Life's blows make some people querulous and bitter; others, they sweeten and refine. We also saw that the reason some respond to life positively and turn their problems into possibilities is because of right inner attitudes.

There are many non-Christians who put us to shame when it comes to the question of rightly responding to life, and it is high time, therefore, that we Christians got our philosophy of living sorted out once and for all. If, as the Scripture teaches, God will let nothing happen to one of His children without supplying the necessary grace to turn the stumbling block into a stepping stone, then we ought to be ahead of the world in demonstrating how to meet whatever life sends us with confidence and faith.

Be quite clear about this: no one can fully represent the Christian way of living until they commit themselves to believing that, though God may allow what appears to be a disaster in the life of one of His children, He does so only if He can turn it to good effect. If transformation is not possible, then God would never have allowed it to happen in the first place. So let this truth sink deep into your spirit - God only allows what He can use.

Prayer:
Father, I come to You now to ask that this truth be so impressed upon me during the weeks ahead that never again will I have to be reminded of it. For Your own dear Name's sake. Amen.

 

[RiverOL]

The Bottom Line

"Love your neighbor as yourself."1

Dr. Alfred Adler, international psychiatrist, based the following conclusions on a careful analysis of thousands of patients: "The most important task imposed by religion has always been, 'Love your neighbor….' It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow man who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring."

True, Jesus did say that we were to love our neighbor as we love our own self, but as somebody else said, "Heaven help your neighbor if you hate yourself." If I happen to hate myself, I will tend to project my feelings of self-hatred onto my neighbor, and while I may not hate him, I will find it difficult, if not impossible, to love him. This is because I can only love and accept others to the degree that I have learned to love and accept myself—in a healthy way that is.

So, if we are to follow Jesus' example and admonition to love our neighbor (all people), we need to resolve our damaged and negative emotions that block or hinder our loving ourselves so we can be free to love others.

While we are working towards that goal, we can choose to do the loving thing to others even if we don't fully feel that love yet. And what an impact we Christians would make in our homes, places of business, schools, cities, and nation if every one of us would make the commitment every day to love our neighbor, mean it, and practice it. It's still important to do right whether we feel like doing it or not.

Let's pray that we will!

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to love and accept myself as you love and accept me, and please help me to love my neighbor (every life I touch) and be as Christ to him/her today. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus' name, amen."

 

[RiverOL]

Never Soar as High Again?
For reading & meditation - 1 Peter 1:3-9
"These have come so that your faith ... may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." (v. 7)

We turn now to examine some of the ways in which our lives become fractured, and what we can do to become "strong at the broken places." We begin by looking at the brokenness which comes about through failure. Probably someone reading these words is caught up in a vortex of gloom due to a failure. You may be feeling like the man who said to me: "I am stunned by my failure.

My life is shattered into smithereens. I read somewhere that 'the bird with the broken wing will never soar as high again.' Does that mean I can never rise to the heights in God which once I knew?" I reminded him of Simon Peter - a man with one of the worst track records in the New Testament. He was prejudiced, bigoted, stubborn, and spiritually insensitive. Again and again he got his wires crossed, such as the time when he attempted to divert Christ from going to His death in Jerusalem (Matt. 16:22), or his insistence that they should stay on the Mount of Transfiguration (Matt. 17:4).

Then, on the eve of Christ's crucifixion, he denied and even cursed his Lord. I can imagine Satan whispering in his ear: "Now you're finished. Burned out. A failure. You'll be forgotten ... replaced." But by God's grace, Peter rose from failure to success. He became "strong at the broken places." Because he refused to live in the shadow of his bad track record, his two letters are enshrined forever in the Scriptures. Failures, you see, are only temporary tests to prepare us for more permanent triumphs.

Prayer:
O Father, I see so clearly that no failure is a failure if it succeeds in driving me to Your side. All things serve me - when I serve You. Amen.

 

[RiverOL]

The Purpose of Life

"Then he [Jesus] said to them, "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions."1

It's an age-old question that mankind has been asking since time immemorial: "Where did I come from? Why am I here? And where am I going?" In other words, "What is the purpose of life?"

In Western society, for vast multitudes the purpose of life is materialism, the accumulation of riches and material possessions that, without a deep spirituality, will ultimately lead to soul hunger and spiritual emptiness. Even Christians are not exempt from this hunger for material possessions. Results from a survey of 3,450 lay people and pastors by the National Council of Churches of Christ, conclude: "As people see it, the main thing blocking church support simply is a surpassing urge for more affluent living. Rival attractions seem to be gaining more of the religious dollar."2

For hedonists the purpose of life is finding happiness and yet, more often than not, searching for happiness as an end in itself is like looking for the proverbial pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Sadly, for multiplied millions in some third-world countries their purpose in life is simply struggling for survival, and that is understandable.

Perhaps the highest purpose of man is found in the Westminster Catechism which says: "The chief end of man is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever."

Referring to our souls, in Living a Life that Matters, Harold Kushner writes, "Our souls are not hungry for fame, comfort, wealth, or power. Our souls are hungry for meaning, for the sense that we have figured out how to live so that our lives matter, so that the world will be at least a little bit different for our having passed through it."3

If our chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy him forever, we will achieve this by "feeding our souls on spiritual food" and serving others that will, in turn, make our life matter. We will not have lived in vain. And eternity waits to welcome us home with our Savior's words, "Well done, good and faithful servant, enter into the joy of your Lord."

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, help me love you with all my heart, mind and strength, and so live that my life will matter and make a difference in the life of many others for all eternity. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

 

[RiverOL]

Incisive Questions
For reading & meditation - Ecclesiastes 7:21-29
"So I turned my mind to understand, to investigate and to search out wisdom ..." (v. 25)

What steps must we take, when broken by failure, to ensure that we become strong at the place of weakness? Keep in mind that the principles we are considering are not only corrective, but also preventative. The first thing we should do, whenever we have failed in anything, is to analyze the reason for the failure. These are some of the questions you should ask yourself: Have I contributed in any way to this failure by such things as inattention to detail, lack of preparation, naivet?, wrong timing, disregard of moral principles, or insensitivity to other people?s feelings?

Another question is: What does God want me to learn from this failure? It is difficult, of course, to sit down and question yourself like this when failure strikes; but, as soon as possible after the event, try to assess the lessons that can be learned by honestly facing your emotions - such as hurt, anger, anxiety. Remember, when we stop learning, we stop living. Yet another question to ask yourself is this: Has God allowed this failure so that His purposes for me might be made clear? I know a man, well-known in evangelical circles, who, when he was in his teens, mapped out a career for himself.

Although a brilliant student, he failed the entrance examination into his chosen profession. When the news was broken to him, he simply said, "Lord, I just know You are involved in this: what do You want me to do?" This was the moment God had been waiting for, and He showed him a new path that has made him Christ's ambassador to millions.

Prayer:
Father, help me to face my failure in the knowledge that some good can be wrested from even the most depressing circumstances. Show me that incisive questions can bring incisive answers. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

 

[RiverOL]

Healing Life's Hurts Part I

"When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, 'Do you want to get well?'"1

When I first met Jennifer at a seminar I was leading, she was very withdrawn and her face, apart from sad eyes, was expressionless. She said little all day but her body language spoke volumes. It didn't take a great deal of insight to realize that Jennifer was in pain—deep pain.

I was quite busy and didn't give any more thought to Jennifer until a few weeks later when she turned up a thousand miles away at a more intensive week-long counseling workshop. Here her story unfolded.

Jennifer was at breaking point. She had a young son and was about to give him up for adoption. She told us she was so afraid to be touched she couldn't stand her own child hugging her. It was no surprise to learn that Jennifer was a rape victim—repeated rape. In fact, her son was a child of rape. This terrible abuse started when she was very young and left her paralyzed with fear.

Like a lion in the forest preys on wounded animals, perpetrating men saw Jennifer as easy prey and had been violating her for much of her 40 years. She came to our counseling week as a last hope. Since nothing else had worked, she determined that if she didn't find help here, she was going to take her life.

Fortunately, Jennifer found a place where she felt safe to share her story and express the incredibly painful emotions that had been bottled up inside since she was repeatedly raped as a small child and as an adolescent. Time and again she had been used and shamed. She felt ugly, dirty, unlovable, and despised.

To be healed Jennifer needed to share not only what had happened to her (where she had been sinned against) but also all of the hurt, shame, anger (rage), and terror she felt. Although her painful emotions were justified by the horrible mistreatment she had suffered, Jennifer had turned these emotions against herself and they were all but destroying her.

To be continued . . .

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to be available to people who are hurting, and give me a listening ear, an understanding heart, and an accepting spirit so those needing to share their struggles will feel safe to do so with me. And please use me to be a 'wounded healer.' Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

 

[RiverOL]

Healing Life's Hurts Part II

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."1

Continuing from yesterday's Daily Encounter, very cautiously Jennifer (a repeated rape victim) began to share. Then her feelings came rushing out in torrents. It was the first time in her life she completely shared her years of bottled-up emotions. This catharsis (emptying out) was essential to open the way for Jennifer to begin to heal. Without first taking this step, she couldn't be freed from the past so that she could, in time, move to a point of forgiveness. After three days of painful sharing, we prayed for Jennifer. She went back to her room and returned some time later looking like a different person. She put on a pretty blouse, makeup, fixed her hair, and came in wearing a million-dollar smile. She had a long road ahead but her healing and freedom from the past had begun.

More than a year after the seminars I ran into Jennifer again. She had sought out Christian counseling and although her progress was slow, she was doing incredibly well. Her spiritual and emotional healing was well underway.

Jennifer's story is by no means unusual as there are millions of others who have been sexually, physically and/or emotionally abused—and even spiritually abused. Others of us, while not suffering such extreme abuse, still have our share of wounds and unmet needs. We live in a sinful, fallen world and none of us escape the ravages of sin. Every family has some "dysfunction." True, some families are more dysfunctional than others, but every family has been affected. Some of us are either co-dependent or overly independent. Others of us are detached, perfectionistic, prone to angry outbursts, withdraw when we are hurt or angry, excessively anxious, or sad. Each of us needs some spiritual, emotional, or relational healing.

One of the facts of life is that we are destined to repeat in one form or another those dysfunctions we fail to resolve, or take out our hurt and anger on the ones we love—and then pass on our dysfunctions to our children! The Bible says, "The sins [including the emotional sins] of the fathers [parents] are visited to the third and fourth generation."2 This is why it is imperative that, with God's help, we resolve them. The following steps will help.

First, we need to admit that we have been hurt, that we have a problem, and that we need healing.

Second, we need to want healing badly enough to be willing to face our pain rather than bury it. As Jesus, the Master Physician, said to a man who had been an invalid for 38 years: "Do you want to get well?"3 It sounds like a silly question but it is really profound. We have to want to get better badly enough to face our hidden or painful hurts. Only those who want to be healed will be. The half-hearted never make it.

To be continued . . .

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to be ruthlessly honest with myself and with you and see and admit where I need healing. Help me, too, to understand the healing process according to the principles found in your Word, and please lead me to the help I need to get to the root cause/s of my problems and resolve these. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

 

[RiverOL]

Healing Life's Hurts Part III

"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."1

The first step, we said, in the healing process is to admit that we have a problem or need. We have a friend whose teenage daughter is anorexic and is also in total denial. Even though she has had to be hospitalized, she claims that there is nothing wrong with her. Until she admits that she has a serious eating disorder and that she needs help, there is no chance of her ever recovering and being made well.

The second step is to want to be healed—not just wish to be. Wanting also means that we have to accept total responsibility to do whatever we need to do in order to be made well.

Third, it isn't enough to talk about our painful feelings. We need to find a safe place with a trusted friend, counselor, therapy group, or recovery group where we can confidentially experience and express our feelings of hurt, guilt, shame, anger, fear, plus our sins and faults. These are the secrets that comprise our dark side which, unconfessed, keep us bound. As it has been said, "We are as sick as our secrets." Not all ills are caused by these issues, but many are.

Fourth, when necessary, where we have hurt somebody else, we need to seek their forgiveness and, wherever possible, right the wrong/s that we have done.

Fifth, we then need to forgive all who have hurt us. This is part of gaining freedom from the past. Once we have grown strong enough to face our pain, set appropriate boundaries, and develop some safe relationships, we can begin to forgive. But we cannot simply put forgiveness on top of unresolved hurt, grief, or anger. These must first be dealt with and resolved. Then we are ready to forgive.

Sixth, we also need to confess our sins and faults to God and ask for and receive his forgiveness. His Word says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."2

Seventh, we need to forgive ourselves, let go of the past, and move on to become the persons God planned for us to be. Once we have faced our pain and hurt and anger and begun to forgive, we can start looking ahead in life.

Eighth, develop a healthy support network with a trusted friend or two. At the very minimum, ask God to give you at least one close friend who you trust implicitly and with whom you can share your total self—your joys sorrows, victories, and failures—and with whom you can keep accountable.

Finally, we need to consistently seek God's help through prayer, scripture, and Christian fellowship. I don't mean through a magical quick fix but rather through the miracle of God's healing over time through our relationship with Him and members of the body of Christ—the Church.

Remember, too, that one of the names for God in Hebrew, Yahweh-rophe, literally means "The Lord who heals."

God wants to heal us and has shown us the way. It's in the Bible: "Confess your sins and faults to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed."3 Do you truly want to be healed? If so, and the cause of your illness is within yourself, as you follow God's way, you can and will be healed of many of life's ills. It may take time but God wants you to become the person He created you to be.

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, whatever it takes, whatever I need to see and whatever I need to do, with your help I am willing to be made willing to accept full responsibility for my unresolved personal issues that are causing many of my ills—be they physical, emotional, or spiritual. And, where needed, help me to find the help I need to fully recover and experience your healing. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."