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老佛爷 Chapter
To inflate their delicate but vain ego, the ‘大蓝朝’ (The Great Blue Party or simply ‘Tua Lan Chiow’) megalomaniac leaders decided to squander public fund: They changed all the signboards at the flats and carparks to the Party’s colour of red and yellow even though there were nothing wrong with the previous ones.
However, some responsible people in the Town Council voiced their opposition.
Irritated and pissed, the ‘Tua Lan Chiow’ Chairwoman, 老佛爷, summoned them and gave an earful of stern lecture:
[video=youtube;TbGXCxyhGnU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbGXCxyhGnU[/video]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbGXCxyhGnU
“For the past 10 years, I’d been mimicking and cowering before MIW, sabotaging SDP, kicking NSP, ridiculing RP, disregarding SPP, thrashing SDA, and never had a good night sleep. Finally we’d stolen our 阿裕尼中兴. If I’m not doing so for our ‘Tua lan Chiow’, then what am I working so hard for?
Regarding this signboards change: Those who know me would understand that our Party was right and overdued in pampering and indulging ourself lavishly. Those who don’t know me would scold us for wastful extravagance. Yet, who would know that I’m doing so for the sake of our ‘Tua Lan Chiow’!
When those little people Heartlanders struck lottery or gained promotion, he’d spend money, blanjah everybody as well as renovating and upgrading his little home. His friends and neighbours would compliment and respect him. He’d then have face and dignity.
If those little people behave so, then a ‘First World Party’ must behave even more so! Moreover, the money would not come from our own pockets or the Party’s coffers. It comes from the wallet of those Aljunied goondus!
If our Aljunied victory is not strongly inscribed onto the rotten a$$ of every single Aljunied peons, not only I have no face, ‘Tua Lan Chiow’ would also have no face. Then how can we promote our notion of ‘First World Parliament’ as well as demonstrate our commitment to ‘Transparency and Accountability’? Where is the euphoria and confidence of our 阿裕尼中兴?
Then, not only would the MIW despise us, the little people would also look down upon us. If the MIWs despise us, they’d bully us. If the little people look down upon us, they’d not vote for us. Great disaster would then fall onto our Party. Our ‘Tua Lan Chiow’ would shrink and disappear overnight.
Do you really don’t know these reasons, or just pretending not to know, or you simply don’t want to know?
I believe you fools simply don’t want to know!
That’s to say your loyalty to our ‘Tua Lan Chiow’ and devotion to our ‘皇阿玛’ had been eaten by wild cats.
OK, I’ll say this upfront now. Whoever dares to make my promotion celebration unhappy, I’ll make the rest of his life unhappy!”
All Town Coucillors were stunned into silence and bowed down to follow 老佛爷, except the Treasurer.
“老佛爷, it’s easier said than be done,” reasoned the honest Treasurer who tried to save the taxpayers’ hard-earned money from being deliberately misused.
“Are you still determined to stop me from changing the signboards,” 老佛爷 shrilled furiously.
“老佛爷, it’s not that I want to stop, but money no enough,” explained the Treasurer.
“You dare to defy me? I don’t believe that without a revenue collector, I’d not be able to extract a pound of flesh from those damn bloody stupid Aljunied suckers. Get Lost!” 老佛爷 shrieked angrily.
“老佛爷, I’m guilty. Although you can sack me and punish me, you cannot order me to Get Lost. You will only insult and degrade your status as an elected MP,” the fearless Treasurer stood up defiantly.
“I have already said, Get Lost, Get Lost, Get Lost!.....” 老佛爷 screamed hysterically.
“I’ll not Get Lost, I’ll leave by myself,” the upright Treasurer marched off with his head held up high, unlike his coward Hammerhoid colleagues.
Hence, a more obedient Treasurer was appointed and all the signboards were thus replaced…..at the expense of the much-abused people of Aljunied…..
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