Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine

[jubilee1919]

Minister's CALL GIRL


A Government Minister was looking for a call girl to spend the night with in his official residence.

He found three such girls in a local pub at Orchard Towers - a China Girl, a Filipina and a Singaporean.

To the China Girl he said, "I am a Minister of Singapore. Now how much would it cost me to spend some time with you . . .?'

She replied, "With your high ministerial salary it would be $500.00"

To the Filipina, the Minister of Singapore, asked the same question.

Her reply was "With our low cost of living in the Philippines it would be $100.00"

The Minister of Singapore then asked the Singaporean the same question.

Her reply was . . .

"Mr. Minister, if you can get my skirt up as high as the cost of living here, my panties as low as my wages, get that thing of yours as hard as the times we are living in and keep it rising like the prices of COEs and the cost of my apartment and screw me the way you have been screwing Singaporeans, Retirees and NS men, then you can have it for free, like the foreigners . . . !!!"

 

[jubilee1919]

Rabbit Fail

 

[yinyang]

Honesty??

Honesty??

 

[yinyang]

Unsure if I posted this before. Reminds me of phallic debate here :p

TGIF??

 

[hornylee]

Dawn...my first love

 

[hornylee]

whats that again?.....

 

[hornylee]

the correct method...

 

[hornylee]

happy man

 

[hornylee]

..................

 

[hornylee]

Wedding Night
On their first night to be together, the newly wed couple go to change.
The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all showered and wearing her
beautiful robe. The proud husband says, "my dear, we are married now,
you can open your robe."

The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished. "Oh,
oh, aaaahhh," he exclaims, "My God you are so beautiful, let me take
your picture."

Puzzled she asks, "MY picture?"

He answers, "yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my heart
forever".

She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the
bathroom to shower.

He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife asks, "why do you wear a
robe? We are married now." at that the man opens his robe and she
exclaims, "oh, OH, OH MY, let me get a picture".

He beams and asks, "why?"

She answers, "SO I CAN GET IT ENLARGED"!

 

[hornylee]

Strange Happenings In A Hospital





There was this case in this hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed on Friday mornings around 9am regardless of their age, gender, medical history or medical
condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had to do with the supernatural: Why did death occur at that same bed around the same time every Friday?

So the doctors decided to go down to that particular ward to investigate the cause of the deaths.

Come Friday morning, everyone at the hospital ward nervously waited for the terrible phenomenon to occur again. The new (unknowing) patient laid there.

Some doctors held wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil...and they waited.

8am, the patient was still alive...

8.30am...still breathing...

Just before the 'cursed' time, the door to the ward swung open...

Then Ah Soh, the part-time Friday cleaner, comes in and unplugs the life support system so that she can use the vacuum cleaner!

 

[hornylee]

Senior Citizens

A very self-important college freshman attending a recent football
game, took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his
generation."You grew up in a different world, actually an almost
primitive one," the student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear.
"The young people of today grew up with television, jet planes, space
travel, man walking on the moon, our spaceships have visited Mars...We have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with light-speed processing..."and," pausing to take another drink of beer...
The Senior took advantage of the break in the student's litany and
said, "You're right, son. We didn't have those things when we were
young........so we invented them. Now, you arrogant little shit, what
are you doing for the next generation?"

I love Senior Citizens

 

[yinyang]

Wedding Night.. she answers, "SO I CAN GET IT ENLARGED"!

You really mean, ENGORGED :p

 

[hornylee]

haha guess so ...so that she could gorge on it.

You really mean, ENGORGED :p

 

[yinyang]

Re: What's a good height for a bed??

When Einstein meets Charlie Chaplin

Meeting between Chaplin and Einstein
*
** - "What I admire most about your art", Albert Einstein said, "is its universality. You do not say a word, and yet ... the world understands you."
*
** - "It's true", replies Chaplin. "But your fame is even greater: the world admires you, when nobody understands you. "

 

[yinyang]

Re: What's a good height for a bed??

Yet another blondie joke :p

A blonde city girl named Amy marries a Northern Territory cattle station owner.

One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the stockman says to Amy,
'The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today, so I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above where the cow's stall is in the barn.
Please show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?'

The stockman leaves for the outback paddocks.

After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door.

Amy takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of cows and when Amy sees the nail, she tells him,
'This is the one right here.'

The man, assuming he is dealing with an airhead blonde, asks,
'Tell me lady, 'cause I'm dying to know; how would YOU know that this is the right cow to be bred?'

'That's simple," she said. "By the nail that's over its stall,' she explains very confidently.

Laughing rudely at her, the man says, 'And what, pray tell, is the nail for?'

The blonde turns to walk away and says sweetly over her shoulder,

'I guess it's to hang your pants on.'

 

[erection2015]

Re: What's a good height for a bed??

Singaporeans' "practice" for Simple Living:
1 - One Wife
2 - Two Children
3 - Three Bedroom Condo
4 - Four Wheels
5 - Five Figure Salary

Malaysian Malays' "practice" for Simple Living:
5 - Five Children
4 - Four Wives
3 - Three Figure Salary
2 - Two Wheels
1 - One-Storey Link House

 

[yinyang]

Funny signs?

For GL?

For LTA to consider?

 

[yinyang]

For PUB, save water campaign?

 

[hornylee]

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.

The surgeon was there, waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike.

The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?"

The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"
The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic...

"Try doing it with the engine running."