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Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine
- Thread starter yinyang
- Start date
The Little Room at the Bottom of the Stairs
Pete Kreiner
One year since the murder and sawing dismemberment of Saudi journalist Jamal Khashoggi.
02 Oct 2019
Comments
Pete Kreiner
One year since the murder and sawing dismemberment of Saudi journalist Jamal Khashoggi.
02 Oct 2019
Comments
Killer joke?
A mother-in-law arrives home from the mall to find her son-in-law boiling angry and hurriedly packing his suitcase..
"What happened?", she asks anxiously.
"What happened! I'll tell you what happened..
... I sent an email to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my business trip.. I get home.. and.. guess what I found..
Yes, your daughter, my wife.. with a guy in our marital bed..
This is unforgivable.. the end of our marriage..
I'm done.. I'm leaving forever.."
"Calm down.. calm down.. my son"..
says.. his mother-in-law..
"There is something very odd going on here..
My daughter would never do such a thing..
There must be a simple explanation..
I'll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened.."
Moments later.. the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile..
"I told you there must be a simple explanation..
She didn't get the email"
A mother-in-law arrives home from the mall to find her son-in-law boiling angry and hurriedly packing his suitcase..
"What happened?", she asks anxiously.
"What happened! I'll tell you what happened..
... I sent an email to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my business trip.. I get home.. and.. guess what I found..
Yes, your daughter, my wife.. with a guy in our marital bed..
This is unforgivable.. the end of our marriage..
I'm done.. I'm leaving forever.."
"Calm down.. calm down.. my son"..
says.. his mother-in-law..
"There is something very odd going on here..
My daughter would never do such a thing..
There must be a simple explanation..
I'll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened.."
Moments later.. the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile..
"I told you there must be a simple explanation..
She didn't get the email"
Asking Xi Jinping to dig up dirts on Biden
Thomas Wong
Cockwomble: (noun) A person, usually male, prone to making outrageously stupid statements
and/or inappropriate behaviour while generally having a very high opinion of their own wisdom and importance.
Thomas Wong
Cockwomble: (noun) A person, usually male, prone to making outrageously stupid statements
and/or inappropriate behaviour while generally having a very high opinion of their own wisdom and importance.
This is alarming !
*Whiskey contains female hormones!*
Yes, that's right, FEMALE hormones!
Montreal University scientists revealed this.
Men should take a concerned look at their Whiskey consumption.
The theory is that Whiskey contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough Whiskey men turn into women.
To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 cups of Whiskey each within a one (1) hour period.
It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects, yes, 100% of all these men:
1) *Argued over nothing.*
2) *Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.*
3) *Gained weight.*
4) *Talked excessively without making sense.*
5) *Became overly emotional.*
6) *Couldn't drive.*
7) *Failed to think rationally,*
and
8) *Had to sit down while urinating.*
No further testing was considered necessary!
Pssst: 'Send this to all the men you know to warn them about drinking too much Whiskey
.
*Whiskey contains female hormones!*
Yes, that's right, FEMALE hormones!
Montreal University scientists revealed this.
Men should take a concerned look at their Whiskey consumption.
The theory is that Whiskey contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough Whiskey men turn into women.
To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 cups of Whiskey each within a one (1) hour period.
It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects, yes, 100% of all these men:
1) *Argued over nothing.*
2) *Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.*
3) *Gained weight.*
4) *Talked excessively without making sense.*
5) *Became overly emotional.*
6) *Couldn't drive.*
7) *Failed to think rationally,*
and
8) *Had to sit down while urinating.*
No further testing was considered necessary!
Pssst: 'Send this to all the men you know to warn them about drinking too much Whiskey
.
Chinaman doc & AMDK lawyer
A Chinese Doctor cannot find a job in a hospital in the US, so he opens a clinic and puts a sign outside *'GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100.'*
An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.
Lawyer: *"I have lost my sense of taste."*
Chinese: *"Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth."*
Lawyer: *"Ugh. this is kerosene."*
Chinese: *"Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20."*
The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money.
Lawyer: *"I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything."*
Chinese: *"Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth."*
Lawyer (annoyed): *"This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste."*
Chinese: *"Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20."*
The fuming lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later determined to get back $100.
Lawyer: *"My eyesight has become very weak I can't see at all."*
Chinese: *"Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this $100."*
Lawyer (staring at the note): *"But this is $20, not $100!!"*
Chinese: *"Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20"*
You can't beat Chinese Doctors
*_Postscript: "...and Donald Trump is trying to beat the Chinese in the Trade War??" _*
A Chinese Doctor cannot find a job in a hospital in the US, so he opens a clinic and puts a sign outside *'GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100.'*
An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.
Lawyer: *"I have lost my sense of taste."*
Chinese: *"Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth."*
Lawyer: *"Ugh. this is kerosene."*
Chinese: *"Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20."*
The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money.
Lawyer: *"I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything."*
Chinese: *"Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth."*
Lawyer (annoyed): *"This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste."*
Chinese: *"Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20."*
The fuming lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later determined to get back $100.
Lawyer: *"My eyesight has become very weak I can't see at all."*
Chinese: *"Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this $100."*
Lawyer (staring at the note): *"But this is $20, not $100!!"*
Chinese: *"Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20"*
You can't beat Chinese Doctors
*_Postscript: "...and Donald Trump is trying to beat the Chinese in the Trade War??" _*
RETIRED HUSBAND
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Walmart
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.
Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - loves to browse & leaves me with endless time to fulfill.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter,
from the local Walmart
Dear Mrs. Harris:
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you from the store.
Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
5. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
6. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
7. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
8. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room?
And last, but not least:
9. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile; then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'
One of the clerks passed out.
We regrettably request you to refrain bringing him to our store, you are most welcomed to shop and leave him in the parking lot.
Thank you
Management
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Walmart
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.
Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - loves to browse & leaves me with endless time to fulfill.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter,
from the local Walmart
Dear Mrs. Harris:
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you from the store.
Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
5. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
6. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
7. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
8. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room?
And last, but not least:
9. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile; then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'
One of the clerks passed out.
We regrettably request you to refrain bringing him to our store, you are most welcomed to shop and leave him in the parking lot.
Thank you
Management
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