-
IP addresses are NOT logged in this forum so there's no point asking. Please note that this forum is full of homophobes, racists, lunatics, schizophrenics & absolute nut jobs with a smattering of geniuses, Chinese chauvinists, Moderate Muslims and last but not least a couple of "know-it-alls" constantly sprouting their dubious wisdom. If you believe that content generated by unsavory characters might cause you offense PLEASE LEAVE NOW! Sammyboy Admin and Staff are not responsible for your hurt feelings should you choose to read any of the content here. The OTHER forum is HERE so please stop asking.
Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine
- Thread starter yinyang
- Start date
The Best Divorce Letter ever!
My Dear husband:
I'm writing this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you!
I've been a good wife to you for the last 20 years and
I have nothing to show for it... the last 2 weeks have
been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that you left your job today
which was the last straw. Last week, you came home and you didn't even notice I had a new hairstyle, had cooked
your favorite meal and even wore a brand new nightie.
You ate in 2 minutes, went straight to sleep after watching
your TV soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife.
Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore;
whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your Ex-Wife.
PS - Don't try to find me.
Your BROTHER and I are moving to New Zealand together!
Have a great life!
REPLY:
Dear Ex-wife:
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true you and I have been married for 20 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been.
I watch TV soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and bitching... but too bad that doesn't work anymore.
I did notice when you got a hair do last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a boy!'
Since my father raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have got me confused with MY BROTHER because I haven't eaten shrimp for 7 years.
About the new nightie, I turned away from you because the $299.99 price tag was still on it, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $300 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt we could work it out. So when I won the $20 million Lottery on Saturday, I left my job and bought 2 tickets for us to Paris, but when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.
My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dollar from me. So take care.
Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell & Free!
PS - I don't know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was
born Carla.
I hope that's not a problem.
My Dear husband:
I'm writing this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you!
I've been a good wife to you for the last 20 years and
I have nothing to show for it... the last 2 weeks have
been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that you left your job today
which was the last straw. Last week, you came home and you didn't even notice I had a new hairstyle, had cooked
your favorite meal and even wore a brand new nightie.
You ate in 2 minutes, went straight to sleep after watching
your TV soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife.
Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore;
whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your Ex-Wife.
PS - Don't try to find me.
Your BROTHER and I are moving to New Zealand together!
Have a great life!
REPLY:
Dear Ex-wife:
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true you and I have been married for 20 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been.
I watch TV soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and bitching... but too bad that doesn't work anymore.
I did notice when you got a hair do last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a boy!'
Since my father raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have got me confused with MY BROTHER because I haven't eaten shrimp for 7 years.
About the new nightie, I turned away from you because the $299.99 price tag was still on it, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $300 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt we could work it out. So when I won the $20 million Lottery on Saturday, I left my job and bought 2 tickets for us to Paris, but when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.
My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dollar from me. So take care.
Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell & Free!
PS - I don't know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was
born Carla.
I hope that's not a problem.
ROFL
Oppies using our late Ah Gong's image to fish for votes in 2019 bicentennial GE.
Time to summon Pappie's resident Babu Singh dog lawyer!
Time to summon Pappie's resident Babu Singh dog lawyer!
Similar threads
