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Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine
- Thread starter yinyang
- Start date
Bet?
Bob and blonde
Bob walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm.
He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV.
The 10 pm News was coming on.
The news-crew was covering the story of a man
on the ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at Bob and said,
"Do you think he'll jump ?"
Bob said,
"You know, I bet he'll jump."
The blonde replied,
"Well, I bet he won't."
Bob placed a £20 note on the bar and said,
"You're on !"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar,
the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building,
falling to his death.
The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her £20 to Bob.
"Fair's fair. Here's your money."
Bob replied,
"I can't take your money.
I saw this earlier on the 5 pm News, so I knew he would jump."
The blonde replied,
"I did, too, but I didn't think he'd do it again."
Bob took the money.
Bob and blonde
Bob walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm.
He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV.
The 10 pm News was coming on.
The news-crew was covering the story of a man
on the ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at Bob and said,
"Do you think he'll jump ?"
Bob said,
"You know, I bet he'll jump."
The blonde replied,
"Well, I bet he won't."
Bob placed a £20 note on the bar and said,
"You're on !"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar,
the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building,
falling to his death.
The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her £20 to Bob.
"Fair's fair. Here's your money."
Bob replied,
"I can't take your money.
I saw this earlier on the 5 pm News, so I knew he would jump."
The blonde replied,
"I did, too, but I didn't think he'd do it again."
Bob took the money.
How come all bad starts with d...?
Check this out: ....
Disease
Destroy
Delete
Divorce
Disappoint
Death
Disaster
Debt
Disrupt
Demise
Dementia
Depression
Demons
Devil
Dubious
Diarrhea
Demolish
Doubt
Dangerous
Defeat
Desperate
Deform
Dispute
Detention
Drunkard
Dracula
Distress
Disable
Devour
Diabolic
Distrust
Distract
Diabetes
Disagree
Deficit
Defecate
Dismember
Dislocate
Disorganize
*DONALD TRUMP*
Check this out: ....
Disease
Destroy
Delete
Divorce
Disappoint
Death
Disaster
Debt
Disrupt
Demise
Dementia
Depression
Demons
Devil
Dubious
Diarrhea
Demolish
Doubt
Dangerous
Defeat
Desperate
Deform
Dispute
Detention
Drunkard
Dracula
Distress
Disable
Devour
Diabolic
Distrust
Distract
Diabetes
Disagree
Deficit
Defecate
Dismember
Dislocate
Disorganize
*DONALD TRUMP*
Ex-'Son of Punggol' Arsehole PAP MP doctor can relate to this.
Best friends graduated from medical school at the same time & decided that in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space...
Dr Smith was a Psychiatrist & Dr Jones was a Proctologist, who deals with disorders of the rectum, anus, and colon.
They put up a sign reading
Dr Smith & Dr Jones
Hysterias & Posteriors
The town council was livid and insisted they change it.
So, the docs changed
it to read
Schizoids & Haemorrhoids
This was also not acceptable, so they again changed the sign to
Catatonics & High Colonics
- no go.
Next, they tried...
Manic Depressives & Anal Retentives
- thumbs down again.
Then came..
Minds and Behinds
- still no good.
Another attempt resulted in...
Lost Souls & Butt Holes
- unacceptable again!
So they tried
Analysis & Anal Cysts
- not a chance!
Nuts and Butts
- no way!
Freaks and Cheeks
- still no good!
Loons and Moons
- forget it!
Almost at their wits end, the docs finally came up with:
Dr Smith & Dr Jones
Specializing in Odds & Ends
Everyone loved it.
Best friends graduated from medical school at the same time & decided that in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space...
Dr Smith was a Psychiatrist & Dr Jones was a Proctologist, who deals with disorders of the rectum, anus, and colon.
They put up a sign reading
Dr Smith & Dr Jones
Hysterias & Posteriors
The town council was livid and insisted they change it.
So, the docs changed
it to read
Schizoids & Haemorrhoids
This was also not acceptable, so they again changed the sign to
Catatonics & High Colonics
- no go.
Next, they tried...
Manic Depressives & Anal Retentives
- thumbs down again.
Then came..
Minds and Behinds
- still no good.
Another attempt resulted in...
Lost Souls & Butt Holes
- unacceptable again!
So they tried
Analysis & Anal Cysts
- not a chance!
Nuts and Butts
- no way!
Freaks and Cheeks
- still no good!
Loons and Moons
- forget it!
Almost at their wits end, the docs finally came up with:
Dr Smith & Dr Jones
Specializing in Odds & Ends
Everyone loved it.
On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his Mercedes into a petrol station in a remote part of Irish countryside.
Pump attendant who knows absolutely nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.
"Top of the mornin' toyer, sir" says the attendant.
Tiger nods a quick "hello" & bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.
"What are those?, asks the attendant.
"They're called tees" replies Tiger.
"Well, what on this God's earth are dey for?"? Inquires the Irishman.
"They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving", says Tiger.
"Fookin Hell", says the Irishman,
"Mercedes thinks of everything!"
Pump attendant who knows absolutely nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.
"Top of the mornin' toyer, sir" says the attendant.
Tiger nods a quick "hello" & bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.
"What are those?, asks the attendant.
"They're called tees" replies Tiger.
"Well, what on this God's earth are dey for?"? Inquires the Irishman.
"They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving", says Tiger.
"Fookin Hell", says the Irishman,
"Mercedes thinks of everything!"
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