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Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine
- Thread starter yinyang
- Start date
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2017
- Messages
- 241
- Points
- 63
A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blond flight attendant to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator.
He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out. Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior.
Shortly before landing in New York , she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans please raise your hand?"
Not one hand went up, so she took them home and ate them.
Two Lessons here:
1. Many lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.
2. Many blondes aren't as dumb as most folks think.
He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out. Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior.
Shortly before landing in New York , she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans please raise your hand?"
Not one hand went up, so she took them home and ate them.
Two Lessons here:
1. Many lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.
2. Many blondes aren't as dumb as most folks think.
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2013
- Messages
- 26,183
- Points
- 113
- Joined
- Sep 17, 2008
- Messages
- 2,874
- Points
- 113
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2008
- Messages
- 20,465
- Points
- 113
One night at the red light area...
A man went to a RED LIGHT AREA.
The Pimp had named the sex workers using car brands...
Pimp: "You may choose any one Sir”!
BMW - RM1000/-
Mercedes - RM800/-
Toyota - RM600/-
Honda - RM500/-
Ford - RM300/-
Volkswagen -RM100/-
Man ordered a Volkswagen and was
shocked to see a GAY...
"What the f@*&% is this. You sent me a Gay?
Pimp : "Sir for the Volkswagen, the engine is behind!”
A man went to a RED LIGHT AREA.
The Pimp had named the sex workers using car brands...
Pimp: "You may choose any one Sir”!
BMW - RM1000/-
Mercedes - RM800/-
Toyota - RM600/-
Honda - RM500/-
Ford - RM300/-
Volkswagen -RM100/-
Man ordered a Volkswagen and was
shocked to see a GAY...
"What the f@*&% is this. You sent me a Gay?
Pimp : "Sir for the Volkswagen, the engine is behind!”
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2008
- Messages
- 20,465
- Points
- 113
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2008
- Messages
- 20,465
- Points
- 113
The Islamification of Europe
Pete Kreiner
"Muslim believers in Europe know very well that their fertility is such today, and with mass immigration replacing a rapidly shrinking Christian population, that they call it... the Great Replacement. They'll tell you in a very calm, very positive way:
'One day all this... all of Europe... will be ours'."
-- Archbishop of Strasbourg, Luc Ravel.
Pete Kreiner
"Muslim believers in Europe know very well that their fertility is such today, and with mass immigration replacing a rapidly shrinking Christian population, that they call it... the Great Replacement. They'll tell you in a very calm, very positive way:
'One day all this... all of Europe... will be ours'."
-- Archbishop of Strasbourg, Luc Ravel.
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2008
- Messages
- 20,465
- Points
- 113
Laughter Is The Best Medicine Ever still...
1. What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant;
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant;
Panic is when both are pregnant!
2. Grammar Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?
Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away!
3. A young boy asks his Dad: "What is the difference between confident and confidential?"
Dad says: "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that is confidential!"
4. A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman,
“Which book has helped you most in your life?”
The woman replied , “My husband’s cheque book!”
5. A prospective husband in a book store: “Do you have a book called, Husband the Master of the House? ”Sales Girl : “Sir, Fiction and Comics are on the 1st floor!”
6. Someone asked an old man : “Even after 70 years, you still call your wife "Darling, Honey, Love." What’s the secret?”
Old man : “I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her!”
7. Wife : I wish I was a newspaper. So I’d be in your hands all day.
Husband : I too wish that you were a newspaper. So I could have a new one every day!
1. What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant;
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant;
Panic is when both are pregnant!
2. Grammar Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?
Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away!
3. A young boy asks his Dad: "What is the difference between confident and confidential?"
Dad says: "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that is confidential!"
4. A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman,
“Which book has helped you most in your life?”
The woman replied , “My husband’s cheque book!”
5. A prospective husband in a book store: “Do you have a book called, Husband the Master of the House? ”Sales Girl : “Sir, Fiction and Comics are on the 1st floor!”
6. Someone asked an old man : “Even after 70 years, you still call your wife "Darling, Honey, Love." What’s the secret?”
Old man : “I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her!”
7. Wife : I wish I was a newspaper. So I’d be in your hands all day.
Husband : I too wish that you were a newspaper. So I could have a new one every day!
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2017
- Messages
- 241
- Points
- 63
Pete the Playboy
Pete was the playboy of the office. He kept the cubicle set bug-eyed with juicy tales of his conquests.
One afternoon a bachelor in the office cornered him and asked, "Pete, how the hell do you do it? You're a married man, but you make Casanova look like a two-bit amateur. Come on, buddy, what's your secret?"
Pete was in a conversational mood. "I wouldn't do this for everybody, Eddie," he said, "but you're a friend, so I'll tell you my secret. Like all great plans, it's really very simple. It's all in the approach! Tonight, take the 5:21 out of Penn Station and get off at Great Neck. You'll find dozens of women there waiting for their husbands. Now there are always some husbands who have to work late. So all you have to do is be charming and let nature take its course."
The system was indeed simple, and also seemed foolproof. Eddie boarded the 5:21 that night with Pete's instructions fixed firmly in his mind. But he dozed en route and didn't waken till Plandome, two stops after Great Neck. He got off the train in a hurry and was about to catch a cab back to his destination when he noticed an unescorted female standing on the platform looking very available.
He sauntered over casually, lit her cigarette, and asked whether she'd like to have a nice quiet drink with him. "I'd love to," she said, "but let's go to my place. It's near here and it's very, very quiet."
Everything went as planned.
They had a small dinner at her place, some drinks, then they retired to the pleasures of the bedroom.
They'd been enjoying themselves only a few minutes, however, when the door swung open and the woman's husband entered.
"Goddammit, Betty!" he cried. "What the hell's going on here? So this is what you do when my back is turned... And as for you, you bastard -- I thought I told you to get off at Great Neck!"
Pete was the playboy of the office. He kept the cubicle set bug-eyed with juicy tales of his conquests.
One afternoon a bachelor in the office cornered him and asked, "Pete, how the hell do you do it? You're a married man, but you make Casanova look like a two-bit amateur. Come on, buddy, what's your secret?"
Pete was in a conversational mood. "I wouldn't do this for everybody, Eddie," he said, "but you're a friend, so I'll tell you my secret. Like all great plans, it's really very simple. It's all in the approach! Tonight, take the 5:21 out of Penn Station and get off at Great Neck. You'll find dozens of women there waiting for their husbands. Now there are always some husbands who have to work late. So all you have to do is be charming and let nature take its course."
The system was indeed simple, and also seemed foolproof. Eddie boarded the 5:21 that night with Pete's instructions fixed firmly in his mind. But he dozed en route and didn't waken till Plandome, two stops after Great Neck. He got off the train in a hurry and was about to catch a cab back to his destination when he noticed an unescorted female standing on the platform looking very available.
He sauntered over casually, lit her cigarette, and asked whether she'd like to have a nice quiet drink with him. "I'd love to," she said, "but let's go to my place. It's near here and it's very, very quiet."
Everything went as planned.
They had a small dinner at her place, some drinks, then they retired to the pleasures of the bedroom.
They'd been enjoying themselves only a few minutes, however, when the door swung open and the woman's husband entered.
"Goddammit, Betty!" he cried. "What the hell's going on here? So this is what you do when my back is turned... And as for you, you bastard -- I thought I told you to get off at Great Neck!"
- Joined
- Sep 17, 2008
- Messages
- 2,874
- Points
- 113
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