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Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine

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While in China, *an American man is sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom* the entire time he is there. A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to *find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots*. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.

The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, *orders some tests* and tells the man to return in two days for the results. The doctor tells him, “I’ve got bad news for you, *you’ve contracted Mongolian VD*. It’s very rare and almost unheard of here in the US; we know very little about it.”

The man perplexed asks, *"Well, can’t you give me a shot* or something to fix me up, Doc.”

The doctor answers, "I’m sorry, there's no known cure. *We’re going to have to amputate your penis*.

The man screams in horror, "Absolutely not! I want a second opinion!!!

The doctor replies, "Well, it’s your choice. Go ahead, if you want, but surgery is your only option.”

The next day, *the man seeks out a Chinese doctor*, figuring that he’ll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, *"Ah, yes, Mongolian VD*. Very rare disease.

The guy says to the doctor, "Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? *My American doctor wants to cut off my penis!*”

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. "Stupid American docttah, *always want operate, make more money that way.* No need amputate!"

"Oh, thank God!” the man exclaims.

"Yes,” says the Chinese doctor. *"Wait two week. Fall off by itself:!*
 
A priest (and his babies)

A priest's wife was expecting a baby.
So he stood before his congregation and asked for a pay rise.


After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the priest's family expanded, so would his pay.
After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's expanding salary.


A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much the clergyman's additional children were costing the church, and how much more it could potentially cost.

After listening to them for about an hour, the priest rose from his chair and spoke thus:
"Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He gives us."


Silence fell on the congregation.
In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand, and finally said in her frail voice:
"Rain is also a gift from God; but, when we get too much of it, we wear raincoats."

_The entire congregation said:_ Amen'
 
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