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Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine
- Thread starter yinyang
- Start date
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- Jul 15, 2008
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Beer gender and risks??
Now they tell me..:p
This indeed is worrying
Beer contains female hormones. Last month, Sydney University and CSIRO scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones
Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.
It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects :
1) Argued over nothing.
2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional
6) Couldn't drive.
7) Failed to think rationally.
8) Had to sit down while urinating.
No further testing was considered necessary
Send this to the men you know to warn them about drinking too much beer
Now they tell me..:p
This indeed is worrying
Beer contains female hormones. Last month, Sydney University and CSIRO scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones
Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.
It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects :
1) Argued over nothing.
2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional
6) Couldn't drive.
7) Failed to think rationally.
8) Had to sit down while urinating.
No further testing was considered necessary
Send this to the men you know to warn them about drinking too much beer
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- Joined
- Oct 18, 2012
- Messages
- 220
- Points
- 63
A man had just Boarded and settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his Black Labrador in the middle seat next to the man.
The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog was allowed on the plane.
The second man explained that he was from the Police Drugs Enforcement Agency and that the dog
was a 'sniffing dog'.
'His name is Sniffer and he's the best there is.
I'll show you once we get airborne, when I put him to work.'
The plane took off, and once it has leveled out, the Policeman said, 'Watch this.'
He told Sniffer to 'search'.
Sniffer jumped down, walked along the aisle, and finally sat very purposefully next to a woman for several
seconds.
Sniffer then returned to his seat and put one paw on the policeman's arm.
The Policeman said, 'Good boy', and he turned to the man
and said, 'That woman is in possession of marijuana, I'm making a note of her
seat number and the authorities will apprehend her when we land.
'Gee, that's pretty good,' replied the first man.
Once again, the Policeman sent Sniffer to search the aisles.
The Lab sniffed about, sat down beside a man for a few seconds, returned to its seat, and this time he placed two paws
on the agent's arm.
The Policeman said, 'Two paws mean that man is carrying cocaine, so again, I'm making a note of his seat number for the
police.'
'I like it!' said his seat mate.
The Policeman then told Sniffer to 'search' again.
Sniffer walked up and down the aisles for a
little while, sat down for a moment, and then came racing back to the agent,
jumped into the middle seat and proceeded to shit all over the place.
The first man was really disgusted by this behaviour and
couldn't figure out how or why a well-trained dog would behave like that.
So he asked the Policeman, 'What's going on?'
The Policeman nervously replied, 'He's just found a bomb.'
The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog was allowed on the plane.
The second man explained that he was from the Police Drugs Enforcement Agency and that the dog
was a 'sniffing dog'.
'His name is Sniffer and he's the best there is.
I'll show you once we get airborne, when I put him to work.'
The plane took off, and once it has leveled out, the Policeman said, 'Watch this.'
He told Sniffer to 'search'.
Sniffer jumped down, walked along the aisle, and finally sat very purposefully next to a woman for several
seconds.
Sniffer then returned to his seat and put one paw on the policeman's arm.
The Policeman said, 'Good boy', and he turned to the man
and said, 'That woman is in possession of marijuana, I'm making a note of her
seat number and the authorities will apprehend her when we land.
'Gee, that's pretty good,' replied the first man.
Once again, the Policeman sent Sniffer to search the aisles.
The Lab sniffed about, sat down beside a man for a few seconds, returned to its seat, and this time he placed two paws
on the agent's arm.
The Policeman said, 'Two paws mean that man is carrying cocaine, so again, I'm making a note of his seat number for the
police.'
'I like it!' said his seat mate.
The Policeman then told Sniffer to 'search' again.
Sniffer walked up and down the aisles for a
little while, sat down for a moment, and then came racing back to the agent,
jumped into the middle seat and proceeded to shit all over the place.
The first man was really disgusted by this behaviour and
couldn't figure out how or why a well-trained dog would behave like that.
So he asked the Policeman, 'What's going on?'
The Policeman nervously replied, 'He's just found a bomb.'
- Joined
- Jul 30, 2011
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Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scotland UK
.
01. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.
02. FORM A LOOSE GRIP.
03. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!
04. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.
05. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.
06. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU
07. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.
08. QUIET PLEASE...WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.
09. DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.
10. WELL DONE.. NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF
.
01. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.
02. FORM A LOOSE GRIP.
03. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!
04. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.
05. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.
06. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU
07. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.
08. QUIET PLEASE...WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.
09. DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.
10. WELL DONE.. NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF
- Joined
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- Points
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A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair.
Her mom calmly said, "that part where hair has grown is called Monkey, be proud that your monkey has grown hair."
The girl smiled. At dinner, she told her sister, "my monkey has grown hair."
Her sister smiled and said, "that's nothing, mine is already eating bananas."
Her mom calmly said, "that part where hair has grown is called Monkey, be proud that your monkey has grown hair."
The girl smiled. At dinner, she told her sister, "my monkey has grown hair."
Her sister smiled and said, "that's nothing, mine is already eating bananas."
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- Joined
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- 20,441
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Irish workmen??
Real pic of irish workmen doing up bollards, on the pavement outside hospital to prevent nurses illegally parking. But do they think of driving off truck after bollards and cementing's done??
Real pic of irish workmen doing up bollards, on the pavement outside hospital to prevent nurses illegally parking. But do they think of driving off truck after bollards and cementing's done??
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I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:
A half-gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice
A head of lettuce
A 2 lb. can of coffee
A 1 lb. package of bacon
As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'
I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I indeed had never found Mr. Right. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status..
Curiosity getting the better of me, I said , 'Yes you are correct. But how on earth did you know that?'
The drunk replied, ‘Cause you're ugly’.
A half-gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice
A head of lettuce
A 2 lb. can of coffee
A 1 lb. package of bacon
As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'
I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I indeed had never found Mr. Right. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status..
Curiosity getting the better of me, I said , 'Yes you are correct. But how on earth did you know that?'
The drunk replied, ‘Cause you're ugly’.
- Joined
- Oct 18, 2012
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- 220
- Points
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Husband was seriously ill. Doc to wife: Give him healthy breakfast, be pleasant & in gud mood, don’t discuss ur problems, no tv serial, don’t demand new clothes & gold jewels,
Do this for 1 yr & he will be ok.
On the way home.. Husband: what did the doc say ?
Wife:- .No chance for u to survive
Do this for 1 yr & he will be ok.
On the way home.. Husband: what did the doc say ?
Wife:- .No chance for u to survive
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- Points
- 113
Only the Irish ....!:p
The IRISH 999 CALL
An Irish woman is cleaning her husband’s rifle and accidentally shoots him. She immediately dials 911.
Irish woman: ''It's my husband! I've accidentally shot him, I've killed him!''
Operator: ''Please calm down Mam. Can you first make sure he is actually dead!''
*click* .. *BANG*
Irish woman: ''Okay, I've done dat ............What's next?''
The IRISH 999 CALL
An Irish woman is cleaning her husband’s rifle and accidentally shoots him. She immediately dials 911.
Irish woman: ''It's my husband! I've accidentally shot him, I've killed him!''
Operator: ''Please calm down Mam. Can you first make sure he is actually dead!''
*click* .. *BANG*
Irish woman: ''Okay, I've done dat ............What's next?''
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More Irish "think tank" :p
As only the Irish can tell a story!!!!!!
Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.
It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been
able to walk on water on their 18th birthday.
On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on the
far side for their first legal drink.
So when Paddy's 18th birthday came around, he and his pal Mick, took a
boat out to the middle of the lake, Paddy, stepped out of the boat ...and
nearly drowned!
Mick just barely managed to pull him to safety.
Furious and confused, Paddy went to see his grandmother .
"Grandma," he asked, "Tis me 18th birthday, so why can't I walk across the
lake like me father, his father and his father before him?"
Granny looked deeply into Paddy's, troubled blue eyes and said,
"Because ye father, ye grandfather and ye great-grandfather were all born
in December, when the lake is frozen, and ye were born in August, ya
fookin idiot!"
:pAs only the Irish can tell a story!!!!!!
Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.
It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been
able to walk on water on their 18th birthday.
On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on the
far side for their first legal drink.
So when Paddy's 18th birthday came around, he and his pal Mick, took a
boat out to the middle of the lake, Paddy, stepped out of the boat ...and
nearly drowned!
Mick just barely managed to pull him to safety.
Furious and confused, Paddy went to see his grandmother .
"Grandma," he asked, "Tis me 18th birthday, so why can't I walk across the
lake like me father, his father and his father before him?"
Granny looked deeply into Paddy's, troubled blue eyes and said,
"Because ye father, ye grandfather and ye great-grandfather were all born
in December, when the lake is frozen, and ye were born in August, ya
fookin idiot!"
Last edited:
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- Points
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Nobel Prize
Raja is driving down the Delhi-Amritsar highway, when he spots Raju standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Raju is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.
Raja gets out of the car, walks all the way out to Raju and asks him, "Excuse me, what are you doing?"
Raju replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."
"How?" asks Raja, puzzled.
"Well I heard they give the Noble Prize to people who are out standing in their field."
Raja is driving down the Delhi-Amritsar highway, when he spots Raju standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Raju is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.
Raja gets out of the car, walks all the way out to Raju and asks him, "Excuse me, what are you doing?"
Raju replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."
"How?" asks Raja, puzzled.
"Well I heard they give the Noble Prize to people who are out standing in their field."
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Be White
Two Paki's see an advertisement in a window, reading "be white for $10" . They both want to become white as they believe they will no longer be subject to racial abuse.
As only one of them has any money, he agrees to try it and if it's good, he'll lend the other Pakie $10. He goes into the shop, while the other waits outside. After an hour or so, the Paki who went to have is skin changed to white comes out looking really good and white.
The other Paki then says "wow that really worked, can you lend me $10 so I can be white as well".
His friend turns round and says "fuck off you Paki" and walks off.
Two Paki's see an advertisement in a window, reading "be white for $10" . They both want to become white as they believe they will no longer be subject to racial abuse.
As only one of them has any money, he agrees to try it and if it's good, he'll lend the other Pakie $10. He goes into the shop, while the other waits outside. After an hour or so, the Paki who went to have is skin changed to white comes out looking really good and white.
The other Paki then says "wow that really worked, can you lend me $10 so I can be white as well".
His friend turns round and says "fuck off you Paki" and walks off.
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Deleted double post
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Hair Dryers aka Hot Pussies
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Last night, an incident took place at Boat Quay. What happened was some idiot was trying to show off and declared that he would swim across the Singapore River. He jumped in and started swimming. But before he could reach the halfway mark, he started to panic and started to shout for help.
Being typical Singaporeans, a crowd started to gather to watch and yet no attempt was made by anybody to save that poor chap.
Suddenly there was a splash and the crowd turned to see a guy doing what seemed like a desperate attempt to reach the drowning victim. It was clear that this hero couldn't swim !
Luckily a tongkang filled with tourists was passing by and the operator saw the incident and picked both men from the water. The crowd cheered !
Back on shore, the crowd cheered again as the hero stepped off the tongkang. "Steady Lah !" and "Awright, man !" were among the many congratulations shouted.
The hero looked angry and shouted "Ka ni na! Siang too wa loh chui?" (*%#@! Who pushed me into the water?")
Being typical Singaporeans, a crowd started to gather to watch and yet no attempt was made by anybody to save that poor chap.
Suddenly there was a splash and the crowd turned to see a guy doing what seemed like a desperate attempt to reach the drowning victim. It was clear that this hero couldn't swim !
Luckily a tongkang filled with tourists was passing by and the operator saw the incident and picked both men from the water. The crowd cheered !
Back on shore, the crowd cheered again as the hero stepped off the tongkang. "Steady Lah !" and "Awright, man !" were among the many congratulations shouted.
The hero looked angry and shouted "Ka ni na! Siang too wa loh chui?" (*%#@! Who pushed me into the water?")
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