Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine

[pisspot]

An aunty saw a young couple. The girl asked the boy: "What's the meaning of
ABCDEFG?"

The boy answered: "A Boy Can Do Everything For Girls."

The aunty felt so sweet and when she arrived home, she asked her husband:
"What do u think about me?"


The husband answered: "ABCDEFGHIJK"

Aunty felt so surprised and asked the husband what did it mean.



The husband replied: "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy,
and Gorgeous & Hot!"

Aunty was confused and asked: "What about I, J, K???"

Husband replied: "I'm Just Kidding!"

 

[Amosquito]

In life, never look down on anybody, unless you are getting a lovely view of the cleavage!


What is the similarity between doing sex & doing surgery?
Skill is more important than the instrument...

 

[Amosquito]

A football team loses their star player, Roger Dicks, due to an injury.
Next day a headline reads: "Team to play without Dicks."
The manager calls up the newspaper and objects, so the editor changes the Headline.
It reads: "Team to play with Dicks out."

 

[Amosquito]

What is the definition of a Lesbian?
Yet another Damn Woman trying to do a Man's job!!


What advice does the doctor give to sick prostitutes?
Stay out of BED for two days.

 

[Amosquito]

Three old men were sitting around complaining about how much their hands Shook.
The first geezer said, "My hands shake so bad that when I shaved this morning I cut my face!"
The second old fogey one-upped him. "My hands shake so bad that when I trimmed my garden yesterday I sliced all my flowers!"
The third old man laughed and said, "That's nothing. My hands shake so bad that when I took a piss yesterday, I came three times."

 

[yinyang]

Some funny tees

http://www.sammyboy.com/showthread.php?107933-A-Singaporean-s-guide-to-living-in-Thailand

 

[jubilee1919]

There was a man who had three sons.
He gave each of them a duck and told them to go out and sell their duck for as much as possible.
The first son went out and sold his duck for $5, went home and told his dad what he had done.
His father congratulated him and told him to go and buy himself beer
The second son also sold his duck for $5.
His father congratulated him and told him to go and buy himself a beer
The third son went out and saw a gorgeous blonde woman on the side of the road.
He went up to her and said, "I'll give you my duck if you have sex with me.'
She considered it and said, 'Ok'.
They had sex and when they were done she said wow that was good, 'I'll give you your duck back if you'll do me again.'
The boy agreed.
While they were having sex again, the duck got loose and ran out into the road.
They saw the duck escape and pulled their pants on but not quickly enough to prevent the duck from getting run over by a car.
The driver jumped out of the car and said, 'I'm so sorry I killed your duck. I'll give you $40 dollars to make up for it.'
When the third son finally returned home, his dad asked how much he had made.
He said, 'I got a Fuck for a duck, a duck for a Fuck, and forty bucks for a fucked up duck.'

 

[jubilee1919]

At dinner, a little boy was forced to lead the family into prayer.
Little Boy : "But I don't know how to pray.
Dad: "Just pray for your family members, friends and neighbours, the poor, etc.
Little Boy : ""Dear Lord" he started "Thank you for our visitors and their children, who finished all my cookies and ice cream. Bless them so they won't come again. Forgive our neighbour's son, who removed my sister's clothes and wrestled with her on her bed. This coming Christmas, please send clothes to all those poor naked ladies on my Daddy's Blackberry and provide shelter for the homeless men who use Mom's room when Daddy is at work.
Amen."

 

[jubilee1919]

A fourth-grader is sitting at dinner with his parents and says, "Pop, today one of the kids in my class called me a faggot."
His father says, "Well, son, tomorrow I want you to walk up to that boy on the playground and punch him right in the nose."
His son says, "Do I have to, Pop? He's awful cute."
__________________

 

[pisspot]

To make it straight, she pulls it..
To make it stand, she rubs it.
To make it stiff, she licks it.
To put it in, she pushes it.


It's hell of a job threading a needle!

 

[pisspot]

Girl in cinema turns sideways and whispers to her boyfriend.
'The man next to me is masturbating!'
Bf: 'Ignore him.'
Gf: 'I can't.'
Bf: 'Why not?'
Gf: 'He is using my hand!'

 

[pisspot]

The Bio teacher draws a huge PENIS on the board and asks 'Does anybody
know what this is?

Little Harry says 'Oh, it's a penis and you know my dad's got 2 of them?'
The teacher says '2 of them?'

Harry says 'ya! the little one he uses to pee, and the big one to brush mum's teeth.'

 

[pisspot]

4 miracles of a woman

Getting wet without taking a shower
Bleeding without getting hurt
Giving milk without eating grass
Making boneless meat hard.

A hubby said to his wife, 'I will take a photo of your breast and frame it..'
The wife said to husband, 'I will take a photo of your penis and enlarge it.'

 

[pisspot]

At 15, a girl is a SURPRISE.
At 25, she is the RIGHT PRICE.
At 35, a GRAND PRIZE.
At 45, a CONSOLATION PRIZE.
At 55, she is a DOOR PRIZE, and
At 65, a GIVEAWAY PRIZE.

 

[pisspot]

A loud scream comes from the bedroom and the husband runs in. He sees a guy leaping out of the window.
Wife yells: That guy just screwed me twice!
Husband: Twice? Why didn't you call me in after he screwed you once?
Wife: Because I thought it was you, until he started the second time.

 

[pisspot]

Prostitute: Hi, want to have sex?
Santa: Ok. Only if you do it like my wife does.
Prostitute: I can do it in any way. So how does she do it?
Santa: She does it for free.

 

[pisspot]

Doctor: Your knees are all blistered.
Lady: Coz of doggy style!
Doctor: Can't you do it any other style?
Lady: Oh, I can, but the dog can't!

 

[pisspot]

Wives are magicians.
They can change anything into an argument

Why do women live a Better, Longer & Peaceful Life, as compared to men?
Because Women don't have a wife!"

 

[pisspot]

"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."

"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"

"I know all that."

"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"

"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."

 

[pisspot]

COOL MESSAGE BY A WIFE:

Dear Mother-in-law, Don’t teach me how to handle my children.
I am living with one of yours and he needs a lot of improvement!?