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Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine
- Thread starter yinyang
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New words to master 
*Errorist* : Someone who repeatedly makes mistakes.
*Askhole* : A person who constantly asks for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you tell them.
*Ambitchous* : Striving to be more of a bitch than the average bitch.
*Dudevorce* : When two male best friends officially end their friendship over a lame disagreement, usually concerning a girl.
*Nonversation* : A completely worthless conversation, wherein nothing is illuminated, explained or otherwise elaborated upon. Typically occurs at parties, bars or other events .
*Destinesia* : When you get to where you were intending to go, you forget why you were going there in the first place. Not to be confused with being stoned.
*Unkeyboardinated* : Lacking physical or mental keyboard coordination; unable to type without repeatedly making mistakes.
*Cellfish*: Those who continue to talk on their cell phone, oblivious to the effect on others around them.
*Textpectation* :The anticipation one feels when waiting for a response to a text message.
*Carcolepsy*:The inability to stay awake and alert when in a car, or any other thing that moves, such as trains, planes, and buses.
*Hiberdating* : Someone who ignores all their other friends when they are dating a boyfriend/girlfriend.
*Deja poop* : The feeling that the same shit keeps happening
*Errorist* : Someone who repeatedly makes mistakes.
*Askhole* : A person who constantly asks for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you tell them.
*Ambitchous* : Striving to be more of a bitch than the average bitch.
*Dudevorce* : When two male best friends officially end their friendship over a lame disagreement, usually concerning a girl.
*Nonversation* : A completely worthless conversation, wherein nothing is illuminated, explained or otherwise elaborated upon. Typically occurs at parties, bars or other events .
*Destinesia* : When you get to where you were intending to go, you forget why you were going there in the first place. Not to be confused with being stoned.
*Unkeyboardinated* : Lacking physical or mental keyboard coordination; unable to type without repeatedly making mistakes.
*Cellfish*: Those who continue to talk on their cell phone, oblivious to the effect on others around them.
*Textpectation* :The anticipation one feels when waiting for a response to a text message.
*Carcolepsy*:The inability to stay awake and alert when in a car, or any other thing that moves, such as trains, planes, and buses.
*Hiberdating* : Someone who ignores all their other friends when they are dating a boyfriend/girlfriend.
*Deja poop* : The feeling that the same shit keeps happening
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Timer?
Wife was making Maggi noodles......
She calls hubby to come down and asked to have sex with her.....
Husband was surprise but happily made love to her & asked.....
why suddenly you invited me for sex in the kitchen ??
Wife:.. "The timer is not working, and I know that you dont last more than 2 minutes...
Wife was making Maggi noodles......
She calls hubby to come down and asked to have sex with her.....
Husband was surprise but happily made love to her & asked.....
why suddenly you invited me for sex in the kitchen ??
Wife:.. "The timer is not working, and I know that you dont last more than 2 minutes...
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to my good doggie bros, time for your meal... 人狗合一，最高境界:
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One of the better condolence tributes to the late HughHefner, Playboy founder/owner :
"I am saddened by Hugh Hefner's death. He taught me how to read a magazine with one hand".
"I am saddened by Hugh Hefner's death. He taught me how to read a magazine with one hand".
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Heaven?
"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale, and gave all my money to the Church, would that get me into heaven?” I asked the children in my Sunday school class.
“NO!” the children all answered.
“If I cleaned the Church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into heaven?”
Once more they all answered, “NO!”
“Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children and loved my wife, would that get me into heaven?” I asked them again.
Once more they all answered, “NO!”
“Well,” I continued, thinking they were a good bit more theologically sophisticated than I had given them credit for, “Then how can I get into heaven?”
A five-year-old boy shouted out, “YOU GOTTA DIE FIRST!”
_The child was right - you can't fault him for his innocent but truthful answer
"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale, and gave all my money to the Church, would that get me into heaven?” I asked the children in my Sunday school class.
“NO!” the children all answered.
“If I cleaned the Church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into heaven?”
Once more they all answered, “NO!”
“Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children and loved my wife, would that get me into heaven?” I asked them again.
Once more they all answered, “NO!”
“Well,” I continued, thinking they were a good bit more theologically sophisticated than I had given them credit for, “Then how can I get into heaven?”
A five-year-old boy shouted out, “YOU GOTTA DIE FIRST!”
_The child was right - you can't fault him for his innocent but truthful answer
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Soccer Shootout
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