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Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine
- Thread starter yinyang
- Start date
Woodpecker?
A Hawaiian woodpecker and a Californian woodpecker, who had managed to fly across the ocean to Hawaii, were arguing about which place had the toughest trees.
The Hawaiian woodpecker led him to a tree that no woodpecker could peck!
The Californian woodpecker challenged him and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem. The Hawaiian woodpecker was in awe.
The Californian woodpecker then challenged the Hawaiian woodpecker to peck a tree in California that was absolutely un-peckable.
The Hawaiian woodpecker expressed confidence that he could do it and accepted the challenge.
So, after flying to California, the Hawaiian woodpecker pecked the tree successfully, with no problem.
The two woodpeckers were now confused.
How was it that the California woodpecker was able to peck the Hawaiian tree and the Hawaiian woodpecker was able to peck the California tree when neither one was able to peck the tree in its own state?
After much woodpecker-pondering, they both came to the same conclusion:
Your pecker is always harder when you're away from home.
A Hawaiian woodpecker and a Californian woodpecker, who had managed to fly across the ocean to Hawaii, were arguing about which place had the toughest trees.
The Hawaiian woodpecker led him to a tree that no woodpecker could peck!
The Californian woodpecker challenged him and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem. The Hawaiian woodpecker was in awe.
The Californian woodpecker then challenged the Hawaiian woodpecker to peck a tree in California that was absolutely un-peckable.
The Hawaiian woodpecker expressed confidence that he could do it and accepted the challenge.
So, after flying to California, the Hawaiian woodpecker pecked the tree successfully, with no problem.
The two woodpeckers were now confused.
How was it that the California woodpecker was able to peck the Hawaiian tree and the Hawaiian woodpecker was able to peck the California tree when neither one was able to peck the tree in its own state?
After much woodpecker-pondering, they both came to the same conclusion:
Your pecker is always harder when you're away from home.
Investment?
```An Arab falls in love with a Indian girl and decides to meet her father.```
```Arab``` : ```Your daughter is beautiful and I love her. If you let me marry her I will give u gold equal to her weight.````
Indian : I need time.
Arab : To think?
Indian : No no...to increase her weight ```
*Investments always gives u better Returns if u hold for longer Term . Stay Invested*
```An Arab falls in love with a Indian girl and decides to meet her father.```
```Arab``` : ```Your daughter is beautiful and I love her. If you let me marry her I will give u gold equal to her weight.````
Indian : I need time.
Arab : To think?
Indian : No no...to increase her weight ```
*Investments always gives u better Returns if u hold for longer Term . Stay Invested*
Frozen Crabs?
A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen
crabs and asked the blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him.
She took the box and promised to put them in the crew’s refrigerator.
He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them
staying frozen , mentioning in a haughty manner that he was a lawyer,
and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.
Needless to say she was annoyed by his behaviour.
Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to
the entire cabin, “Would the gentleman who gave me the crabs in New Orleans
please raise your hand?”
Not one hand went up…..so she took the crabs home and ate them.
Two lessons here:--
1. Lawyers are not as smart as they think they are
2. Blondes are not as dumb as most folks think.
A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen
crabs and asked the blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him.
She took the box and promised to put them in the crew’s refrigerator.
He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them
staying frozen , mentioning in a haughty manner that he was a lawyer,
and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.
Needless to say she was annoyed by his behaviour.
Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to
the entire cabin, “Would the gentleman who gave me the crabs in New Orleans
please raise your hand?”
Not one hand went up…..so she took the crabs home and ate them.
Two lessons here:--
1. Lawyers are not as smart as they think they are
2. Blondes are not as dumb as most folks think.
A Japanese macaque can be seen engaging in rare inter-species sexual behaviour with a female sika deer in a video filmed in Yakushima, Japan. AFP Photo
Without penetration, the young monkey makes sexual movements while riding on the does’ backs on Japan’s Yakushima Island.
On some occasions its impertinence was tolerated but at other times the deer bolted and ran. The monkey ejaculated on the backs of the does, which licked the seminal fluid, researchers said.
“No ambiguity is possible, it is clearly sexual behaviour,” study co-author Marie Pele of the University of Strasbourg, France, told AFP.
Furthermore, the monkey appeared to “guard” the targets of its affection, chasing away other male macaques.
Touching Love Story
WIFE:
What would you do if i died?
Would you get married again?
Husband:
No...how can I think of marrying?
Wife-
Why not?
You would need company...for good and bad moments....please get married
Husband:
...oh Shona...you are so sweet....even after death u r worrying about me...
Wife: so promise me, u will remarry if I die...
Husband:
Ok, ok, i'd get married again...just for you
Wife:
Would you live in our house with your
new Wife...?
Husband:Yes, but will never let her use your room.
Wife:Would you let her drive my car ?
Husband: no...
its yours...I will keep it as your memory...and buy new one..
Wife:Would you give her my jewelry?
Husband:
No..how can I...
it has your memories attached
I am sure she would want her own..
Wife: Would she wear my shoes..?
Husband: No, never
her size is '7', and yours is 9
Wife:
--silence-
Husband:
'Shiiit'...!!!
Husband's funeral is on Sunday, please attend......
WIFE:
What would you do if i died?
Would you get married again?
Husband:
No...how can I think of marrying?
Wife-
Why not?
You would need company...for good and bad moments....please get married
Husband:
...oh Shona...you are so sweet....even after death u r worrying about me...
Wife: so promise me, u will remarry if I die...
Husband:
Ok, ok, i'd get married again...just for you
Wife:
Would you live in our house with your
new Wife...?
Husband:Yes, but will never let her use your room.
Wife:Would you let her drive my car ?
Husband: no...
its yours...I will keep it as your memory...and buy new one..
Wife:Would you give her my jewelry?
Husband:
No..how can I...
it has your memories attached
I am sure she would want her own..
Wife: Would she wear my shoes..?
Husband: No, never
her size is '7', and yours is 9
Wife:
--silence-
Husband:
'Shiiit'...!!!
Husband's funeral is on Sunday, please attend......
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