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Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine
- Thread starter yinyang
- Start date
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2008
- Messages
- 20,468
- Points
- 113
Management -Moral of story?
A king had 10 wild dogs.
He used them to torture and kill any minister that misguided him.
A minister once gave an opinion which was wrong and which the king didn’t like at all ..
So he ordered that the minister to be thrown to the dogs..
The minister said,
"I served you loyally 10 years and you do this..?
The king was unrelenting.
Minister pleaded, "Please give me 10 days before you throw me to the dogs"
The king agreed..
In those 10 days the minister went to the keeper of the dogs and told him he wanted to serve the dogs for the next 10 days..
The guard was baffled.. but he agreed..
So the minister started feeding the dogs, caring for them, washing them, providing all sorts of comfort for them..
So when the 10 days were up..
The king ordered that the minister be thrown to the dogs as sentenced..
When he was thrown in,
everyone was amazed at what they saw..
The dogs were wagging their tails playing with the condemned minister..licking his feet..
The king was baffled at what he saw. ”What happened to the dogs? !!!” He growled..
The minister then said;”
I served the dogs for only 10 days and they didn’t forget my service ..
Yet I served you for 10 years and you forgot all at the first mistake!” ..
The king realised his mistake and replaced the dogs with crocodiles !!
Moral : Once Management has targeted you .. that's final.!
A king had 10 wild dogs.
He used them to torture and kill any minister that misguided him.
A minister once gave an opinion which was wrong and which the king didn’t like at all ..
So he ordered that the minister to be thrown to the dogs..
The minister said,
"I served you loyally 10 years and you do this..?
The king was unrelenting.
Minister pleaded, "Please give me 10 days before you throw me to the dogs"
The king agreed..
In those 10 days the minister went to the keeper of the dogs and told him he wanted to serve the dogs for the next 10 days..
The guard was baffled.. but he agreed..
So the minister started feeding the dogs, caring for them, washing them, providing all sorts of comfort for them..
So when the 10 days were up..
The king ordered that the minister be thrown to the dogs as sentenced..
When he was thrown in,
everyone was amazed at what they saw..
The dogs were wagging their tails playing with the condemned minister..licking his feet..
The king was baffled at what he saw. ”What happened to the dogs? !!!” He growled..
The minister then said;”
I served the dogs for only 10 days and they didn’t forget my service ..
Yet I served you for 10 years and you forgot all at the first mistake!” ..
The king realised his mistake and replaced the dogs with crocodiles !!
Moral : Once Management has targeted you .. that's final.!
Last edited:
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2008
- Messages
- 20,468
- Points
- 113
Real news, ouch 
Penis stuck in bottle: Man hurts himself using saw
Muzliza Mustafa | January 20, 2017
Firemen in Klang summoned to cut open the water bottle and stop the bleeding before sending him to hospital.
KLANG: It was 90 minutes of agony for a 21-year-old man who cut himself with a saw while trying to free his penis stuck in a mineral water bottle.
The youth called the emergency line for help when the attempt to free himself went wrong, resulting in profuse bleeding in the 4am incident.
The emergency rescue team from the Andalas Fire and Rescue Department arrived at 5.25am following a distress call at 4am.
[FONT=&]
They took about 10 minutes to cut open the plastic bottle and stop the bleeding before taking the man to the Tengku Ampuan Rahimah Hospital.[/FONT]
A Fire and Rescue Department spokesman said the man claimed his penis got stuck in the bottle when he tried to urinate into it at home in Gong Badak, Port Klang.
http://www.freemalaysiatoday.com/ca...-stuck-in-bottle-man-hurts-himself-using-saw/
Penis stuck in bottle: Man hurts himself using saw
Muzliza Mustafa | January 20, 2017
Firemen in Klang summoned to cut open the water bottle and stop the bleeding before sending him to hospital.
KLANG: It was 90 minutes of agony for a 21-year-old man who cut himself with a saw while trying to free his penis stuck in a mineral water bottle.
The youth called the emergency line for help when the attempt to free himself went wrong, resulting in profuse bleeding in the 4am incident.
The emergency rescue team from the Andalas Fire and Rescue Department arrived at 5.25am following a distress call at 4am.
[FONT=&]
They took about 10 minutes to cut open the plastic bottle and stop the bleeding before taking the man to the Tengku Ampuan Rahimah Hospital.[/FONT]
A Fire and Rescue Department spokesman said the man claimed his penis got stuck in the bottle when he tried to urinate into it at home in Gong Badak, Port Klang.
http://www.freemalaysiatoday.com/ca...-stuck-in-bottle-man-hurts-himself-using-saw/
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2008
- Messages
- 20,468
- Points
- 113
*How business is conducted in Malaysia*
"Sorry I’m late, Wong, I had to do my prayers first.”
“Oh, yes, I forgot, you never miss your five times a day prayers. Next time we can plan dinner at 8.00pm instead of 7.00pm. By the way, Datuk, this restaurant is halal. I checked to make sure.”
“That’s very considerate of you, Wong.”
“Would you like a whiskey, Datuk?”
“Not here, Wong. It’s dangerous to drink in public. If a blogger were to see me the next day it will be all over the Internet. My political career will be finished.”
“Understood. Anyway, I have a bottle of the best single malt waiting for us in the room. We can drink later.”
“We adjourning to your mess after this, as usual?”
“As usual. And as usual I have two new girls from China coming over after dinner.”
“Fresh girls?”
“Of course fresh girls. And very young and sexy as well.”
“Great. You really know how to throw a party, Wong. Okay, but first let’s get down to business.”
“Okay, the story is like this, our company is submitting a proposal for a project. I have all the details in my bag. You want to see it now?”
“Later. Not here. How much is it worth?”
“About RM850 million…maybe even slightly more…but under RM1 billion.”
“Okay, that’s a nice figure. You have enough reserves?”
“Plenty. At least RM100 million.”
“Good. You know the money is not all for me, right? I have to spread it around.”
“Of course Datuk, we know you are not greedy. We understand that you have to share the money with others.”
“How fast can the project take off?”
“Not so soon. A project this size needs time. The earliest would be in six to eight months.”
“Oh, that would mean some time next year.”
“Yes. Is that a problem?”
“I was thinking of doing my Haj with my whole family this year. Nowadays the Haj package is very expensive. I would need at least RM150,000.”
“No problem, Datuk. I can arrange to advance you the money. How much are you going to need?”
“With shopping included about RM250,000.”
“I can give you the RM250,000 first. When will you need the money?”
“Next month will be okay.”
“Wah! So after this I will need to call you Pak Haji, is it?”
“No need lah, Datuk is good enough.”
“So will that mean once you become a Haji no more Chinese girls?”
“No, that one can still continue. Only must make sure the girls are halal.”
“Halal?”
“Yes. They must not eat pork before our sessions. Don’t want when I kiss them their mouth is tainted with pork.”
“Ha, ha, ha…you are very hilarious, Datuk. By the way, Datuk, can you help me get a datukship?”
“No problem. From which state do you want?”
“Any state also can. Does not make any difference.”
“Actually it does. Some states very hard to get. Some states easier. We have a party quota which we can give out. But need to pay something.”
“How much?”
“Depends on the state. But roughly RM250,000 or so.”
“Selangor can get?”
“Selangor impossible. In fact, Selangor is pulling back many datukships. Quite a few already pulled back. Even for Negeri it’s now impossible. In the past it was only RM250,000 for a Negeri datukship. Now no way even how much you want to pay.”
“Okay, I leave it to you. Any state also can. I will give you RM500,000 next month. Half for your Haj trip and half for the datukship.”
“Wah, after this I will also have to call you Datuk Wong.”
“Datuk Wong…yes, that sounds very nice. And my wife will be Datin, right?”
“Yes, Datin Wong.”
“I think she will prefer her Christian name, Datin Venus.”
“She has already converted to Christianity?”
“No, we are still Buddhists. We just use Christian names.”
“That sounds cool. What is your Christian name?”
“Actually it’s Percy, Datuk.”
“Oh, I didn’t know that. So Datuk Percy Wong and Datin Venus…very chic.”
“Okay, Datuk, are you ready to adjourn to the mess? We have desert waiting for us there.”
“Ah, yes, two delightful girls from China. I get to choose first, right?”
“Of course, Datuk Haji, as usual.”
“Ha, ha, ha, I am not Haji yet, not until the end of the year.”
"Sorry I’m late, Wong, I had to do my prayers first.”
“Oh, yes, I forgot, you never miss your five times a day prayers. Next time we can plan dinner at 8.00pm instead of 7.00pm. By the way, Datuk, this restaurant is halal. I checked to make sure.”
“That’s very considerate of you, Wong.”
“Would you like a whiskey, Datuk?”
“Not here, Wong. It’s dangerous to drink in public. If a blogger were to see me the next day it will be all over the Internet. My political career will be finished.”
“Understood. Anyway, I have a bottle of the best single malt waiting for us in the room. We can drink later.”
“We adjourning to your mess after this, as usual?”
“As usual. And as usual I have two new girls from China coming over after dinner.”
“Fresh girls?”
“Of course fresh girls. And very young and sexy as well.”
“Great. You really know how to throw a party, Wong. Okay, but first let’s get down to business.”
“Okay, the story is like this, our company is submitting a proposal for a project. I have all the details in my bag. You want to see it now?”
“Later. Not here. How much is it worth?”
“About RM850 million…maybe even slightly more…but under RM1 billion.”
“Okay, that’s a nice figure. You have enough reserves?”
“Plenty. At least RM100 million.”
“Good. You know the money is not all for me, right? I have to spread it around.”
“Of course Datuk, we know you are not greedy. We understand that you have to share the money with others.”
“How fast can the project take off?”
“Not so soon. A project this size needs time. The earliest would be in six to eight months.”
“Oh, that would mean some time next year.”
“Yes. Is that a problem?”
“I was thinking of doing my Haj with my whole family this year. Nowadays the Haj package is very expensive. I would need at least RM150,000.”
“No problem, Datuk. I can arrange to advance you the money. How much are you going to need?”
“With shopping included about RM250,000.”
“I can give you the RM250,000 first. When will you need the money?”
“Next month will be okay.”
“Wah! So after this I will need to call you Pak Haji, is it?”
“No need lah, Datuk is good enough.”
“So will that mean once you become a Haji no more Chinese girls?”
“No, that one can still continue. Only must make sure the girls are halal.”
“Halal?”
“Yes. They must not eat pork before our sessions. Don’t want when I kiss them their mouth is tainted with pork.”
“Ha, ha, ha…you are very hilarious, Datuk. By the way, Datuk, can you help me get a datukship?”
“No problem. From which state do you want?”
“Any state also can. Does not make any difference.”
“Actually it does. Some states very hard to get. Some states easier. We have a party quota which we can give out. But need to pay something.”
“How much?”
“Depends on the state. But roughly RM250,000 or so.”
“Selangor can get?”
“Selangor impossible. In fact, Selangor is pulling back many datukships. Quite a few already pulled back. Even for Negeri it’s now impossible. In the past it was only RM250,000 for a Negeri datukship. Now no way even how much you want to pay.”
“Okay, I leave it to you. Any state also can. I will give you RM500,000 next month. Half for your Haj trip and half for the datukship.”
“Wah, after this I will also have to call you Datuk Wong.”
“Datuk Wong…yes, that sounds very nice. And my wife will be Datin, right?”
“Yes, Datin Wong.”
“I think she will prefer her Christian name, Datin Venus.”
“She has already converted to Christianity?”
“No, we are still Buddhists. We just use Christian names.”
“That sounds cool. What is your Christian name?”
“Actually it’s Percy, Datuk.”
“Oh, I didn’t know that. So Datuk Percy Wong and Datin Venus…very chic.”
“Okay, Datuk, are you ready to adjourn to the mess? We have desert waiting for us there.”
“Ah, yes, two delightful girls from China. I get to choose first, right?”
“Of course, Datuk Haji, as usual.”
“Ha, ha, ha, I am not Haji yet, not until the end of the year.”
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