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Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine
- Thread starter yinyang
- Start date
Roses
Roses are awful
Violets are the pits
Lift up your shirt
And show us your tits.
Roses are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted.
Roses are crap
Violets are wanky
Oooh I've just come
Pass me a hanky.
Roses are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
Cause here comes my willy.
Roses make me laugh
Violets make me bitter
You're a dirty bitch
And you love it up the shitter.
Roses are red
But I like Carnations
You're so bad in bed
That I fucked your Alsation.
Roses are red
Violets are finer
Chickens are fowl
Just like your vagina.
Roses are red
That's elementary
Let's call up a friend
And try double entry.
Roses are shit
Violets are crap
Show me your clit
And I'll come in your lap.
Roses are red
Skidmarks are brown
Gimmie a blow job
And swallow it down.
Roses are groovy
Violets are funky
I'm thinking of you
And spanking my monkey.
~~~~~~~~
Roses are awful
Violets are the pits
Lift up your shirt
And show us your tits.
Roses are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted.
Roses are crap
Violets are wanky
Oooh I've just come
Pass me a hanky.
Roses are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
Cause here comes my willy.
Roses make me laugh
Violets make me bitter
You're a dirty bitch
And you love it up the shitter.
Roses are red
But I like Carnations
You're so bad in bed
That I fucked your Alsation.
Roses are red
Violets are finer
Chickens are fowl
Just like your vagina.
Roses are red
That's elementary
Let's call up a friend
And try double entry.
Roses are shit
Violets are crap
Show me your clit
And I'll come in your lap.
Roses are red
Skidmarks are brown
Gimmie a blow job
And swallow it down.
Roses are groovy
Violets are funky
I'm thinking of you
And spanking my monkey.
~~~~~~~~
farting at tiffany's
a lady walks into tiffany's .. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet
and walks over to inspect it...as she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts...
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little woops and prays that a salesperson was not anywhere near...
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her... Good looking as well ..
Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like tiffany's...
He politely greets the lady with, 'good day, madam .. How may we help you today???
Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that he salesman somehow missed her little 'incident',
she asks, 'sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet ??'
he answers, "madam .. If you farted just looking at it - you're going to shit when i tell you the price .."
a lady walks into tiffany's .. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet
and walks over to inspect it...as she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts...
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little woops and prays that a salesperson was not anywhere near...
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her... Good looking as well ..
Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like tiffany's...
He politely greets the lady with, 'good day, madam .. How may we help you today???
Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that he salesman somehow missed her little 'incident',
she asks, 'sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet ??'
he answers, "madam .. If you farted just looking at it - you're going to shit when i tell you the price .."
GRAB AMERICA BY THE PUSSY
First Meeting
Sam is over at Anni's house after meeting her parents for the very first time.
While at the supper table he figured it was a good time to get on the right side of his future mother-in-law.
Sam turned to Anni's mother and remarked, "These are excellent fishcakes."
Anni pulled Sam close to her and whispered in his ear, "You should go and wash your hands, those are peanut butter cookies!"
--------------------------
Invisible Fence Bra
From the folks who make the Invisible Fence for cats and dogs, now comes the Invisible Fence Bra for your teenage daughter!
Using advanced electromagnetic technology, the Invisible Fence Bra creates a safety zone around Daddy's Little Angel. If a horny young bastard has decided to skip the Church Social and head right to the Devil's Playground, your daughter will be safe and secure with this bra.
Attempting to remove it without keying in the secret combination results in a "slight correction" to the horny young bastard. Voltage levels are set in ten ascending doses including: "Don't Go There, Boyfriend", "Freddy'll Lose His Fingers", "Rushin' Hands, Electrocuted Fingers", "Char Your Fingers To The Bone", and, the ultimate level, "Any Last Words Before We Throw The Switch?"
Sam is over at Anni's house after meeting her parents for the very first time.
While at the supper table he figured it was a good time to get on the right side of his future mother-in-law.
Sam turned to Anni's mother and remarked, "These are excellent fishcakes."
Anni pulled Sam close to her and whispered in his ear, "You should go and wash your hands, those are peanut butter cookies!"
--------------------------
Invisible Fence Bra
From the folks who make the Invisible Fence for cats and dogs, now comes the Invisible Fence Bra for your teenage daughter!
Using advanced electromagnetic technology, the Invisible Fence Bra creates a safety zone around Daddy's Little Angel. If a horny young bastard has decided to skip the Church Social and head right to the Devil's Playground, your daughter will be safe and secure with this bra.
Attempting to remove it without keying in the secret combination results in a "slight correction" to the horny young bastard. Voltage levels are set in ten ascending doses including: "Don't Go There, Boyfriend", "Freddy'll Lose His Fingers", "Rushin' Hands, Electrocuted Fingers", "Char Your Fingers To The Bone", and, the ultimate level, "Any Last Words Before We Throw The Switch?"
A supportive wife
A retired gentleman went into the social security office to apply for social security. After waiting in line for a long time, he got to the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify his age.
He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home.
“Will I have to go home and come back now?” he asked.
The woman said, “Unbutton your shirt.”
So he opened his shirt, revealing lots of silver, curly hair.
She said, “That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me.” And she processed his social security application.
When he got home, the man excitedly told his wife about his experience at the social security office.
She sniffed at him, “You should have dropped your pants, you might have qualified for disability, too.”
A retired gentleman went into the social security office to apply for social security. After waiting in line for a long time, he got to the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify his age.
He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home.
“Will I have to go home and come back now?” he asked.
The woman said, “Unbutton your shirt.”
So he opened his shirt, revealing lots of silver, curly hair.
She said, “That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me.” And she processed his social security application.
When he got home, the man excitedly told his wife about his experience at the social security office.
She sniffed at him, “You should have dropped your pants, you might have qualified for disability, too.”
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