Daily Rubbish

[bakkuttay]

kopiuncle went to bananaleg bar, ordered 3 double shots of whiskey and took it in one go.

bartender: things must be looking bad for you?????
kopiuncle: i just found out my elder son is gay. give me another 3 double shots,
bartender: take it easy kopiuncle, you still have a younger son,
kopiuncle: my younger son is also gay. oh shit, give me another 3 double shots. i want to get drunk.
bartender: doesn't anybody in your house loves a woman???
kopiuncle: OH bloody shit!!!! my wife ilovesingapore does.

 

[bakkuttay]

kopiuncle and ilovesingapore went back to the hotel when they honeymooned many many many years ago.

ilovesingapore stripped herself naked and then open hers legs wide wide wide apart at kopiuncle. after a quick glance,

kopiuncle: during our honeymoon, i just cannot wait to eat your pussy and now!!!!!!

ilovesingapore: NOW, NOW WHAT?

kopiuncle: your pussy just cannot wait to eat me.


(haha, c u in a fortnite)

 

[Jah_rastafar_I]

please come back soon. We have a new fucker called uglyloser actually it is just kopi shit's new clone.

 

[bakkuttay]

ilovesingapore met young kopiloser at desker bar and took him to hourly hotel near bananaleg.

ilovesingapore: lets us do a 69.

naive kopiloser: what is 69?

ilovesingapore: i put my head between your legs and you put your head between my legs, get it!!!!!

just as kopiloser put his head between ilovesingapore legs, ilovesingapore gave a prolonged smelly fart.

kopiloser quickly moved his head away.

ilovesingapore: sorry, let's do again.

just as kopiloser put his head between ilovesingapore legs 2nd time, ilovesingapore gave another prolonged even smellier fart.

at this point, kopiloser quickly got up and started to put on his clothes.

ilovesingapore: hey, what are you doing????

kopiloser: oh no!!!! i am not staying, waiting for the remaining 67 times.

 

[bakkuttay]

fallen into bad times, kopiuncle worked at a construction site with kopiloser.

above the din and noise, kopiuncle used sign language to kopiloser working few floors above him.

kopiuncle pointed finger down towards thigh, then lifted up the thigh and did continuous left right motion with clasped hand.

kopiloser nodded his head affirmative, pulled down his pants and started masturbating.

shocked seeing kopiloser action, kopiuncle ran up few floors to kopiloser.

kopiuncle: why the heck are you masturbating?? i only meant i wanted you to bring a saw down to me.

kopiloser: i know, i know, i only wanted to show you i am coming.

 

[bakkuttay]

kopiuncle: kopison, what do you want to be when you grow up??????

kopison: kfc/bigM delivery boy or gardener or plumber.

kopiuncle: damned it!!!!! you've been through my porn video collection again, didn't you?????

 

[bakkuttay]

kopison came home early from school and saw ilovesingapore coming out of bathroom naked.

kopison: mum ilovesingapore, what is that bushy thing between your legs?

ilovesingapore: oh, it is just a brush.

couple of days later.

kopison: mum ilovesingapore, where is your brush?

ilovesingapore: i lost my brush.

kopison: i know where is it. i just saw father kopiuncle cleaning his face between theblackhole's legs.

 

[bakkuttay]

one morning, kopiuncle caught kopison masterbating.

going into bedroom, kopiuncle: oh son, you better save them for your wedding.

kopison: yes, kopiuncle father, i will save them for the wedding.

many days later, kopiuncle: kopison, are you doing what i advise you to do?

kopison: yes kopiuncle father, yes, i have already save about half litre in a jar in the fridge.

 

[bakkuttay]

ilovesingapore face was badly scalded by hotpot soup at a china owned eatery in chinatown.

because of delicate skin, kopiuncle volunteered skin from his back-skin for skin transplant onto ilovesingapore face.

a successful transplant touched ilovesingapore with kopiuncle sacrifice.

ilovesingapore: thank you darling kopiuncle for your sacrifice restoring my facial skin.

kopiuncle: no worries darling ilovesingapore, everytime your mum kiss your face makes it all worthwhile.

 

[bakkuttay]

kopison: kopiuncle dad, how many types of breast are there?

kopiuncle: at 20s round and firm, at 30s 40s like pears, after 50s they are like onions.

kopison: why like onions?

kopiuncle: yes, you see them, they makes you cry.

after hearing the conversation between father and son,

kopidaughter: ilovesingapore mum, how many types of penises are there?

ilovesingapore: at 20s like angsana thick and hard, at 30s 40s like willow flexible reliable, at 50s like xmas tree.

kopidaughter: what? why like xmas tree?

ilovesingapore: yes, dead from root upwards and the balls are just for decoration.

 

[bakkuttay]

ilovesingapore went into lift and remarked to her companion kopisam

ilovesingapore: TGIF

kopisam: SHIT

ilovesingapore: TGIF

kopisam: SHIT

ilovesingapore: i just want to tell you. "Thank Goodness It's Friday".

kopisam: i know i just wanted to tell you, "Sorry Honey It's Thursday."

 

[bakkuttay]

lawyer called kopiuncle to meet in his office urgently for a very bad news.

at office, lawyer: your wife ilovesingapore found a picture worth A$1million.

kopiuncle: oh, what are you talking about?? that surely is fantastically good news.

lawyer: you are mistaken, i'm afraid it is naked picture of you rendevous white secretary when you went there for telco work.
.

 

[bakkuttay]

drawn skinny ilovesingapore was sobbing when consulting a psychiatrist.

ilovesingapore: my husband kopiuncle has become gay, visits bangkok gay bars and prefer screwing lionheart than me.

psychiatrist: oh it is very bad, desperate situation calls for desperate measure, but don't know you want to give it a try??????

ilovesingapore: i will do anything, anything to win back kopiuncle toothpick size prick into my pussy.

psychiatrist: are you really sure you game enough to give it a go????????

ilovesingapore: i will, i will, i will!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

psychiatrist: ok then, go fill up your pussy with shit.

 

[bakkuttay]

sinkapoor parLEEment started a new perk of free barber service.

LHL went and beg LTK to accompany him in case he get done from behind.

after the hair package, the barber wanted to spray some eau de toilette as a finishing touch.

LHL: no no no!!!! don't spray, my husband holyjinx will think i went to a whorehouse.

LTK: ok for me thank you, my wife does not know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like.

 

[bakkuttay]

after suffering severe embarrassment kopiuncle finally went to consult a doctor.

kopiuncle: doctor, lately my testicles have grown large, and one is very much larger than the other.

doctor: show me and i see the best treatment for you.

kopiuncle: promise you will not laugh at me.

doctor: i swear, i have seen most problems and i will definitely not laugh at all.

kopiuncle reluctantly plonked his basketball size testicle onto the doctor's table.

on seeing the testicle, doctor laughed: hahahahhahahahahhahahohoohoohhohoohhoo.

kopiuncle: see i said you will laugh at me, now i will not show you the larger one.

 

[bakkuttay]

san leong was finally brought to court in new zealand for murder of his wife.

persecutor: so you came home early and found your wife in bed with a stranger.

san leong: that's right.

persecutor: so you took out your shot gun and shoot your wife, killing her.

san leong: that's right.

persecutor: now can you tell the court why did you shoot your wife and not her lover????

san leong: it seemed easier than shooting a different man everyday.

 

[bakkuttay]

ilovesingapore: doctor, i think my breast is filled with water.

doctor: what makes you think so?

ilovesingapore: because, everytime a guy squeeze my breast, my pussy gets wet.
.

 

[bakkuttay]

kopiuncle and lionheart as crassloots were assigned to look into complaint of noisy neighbour.

after knocking at the door of that noisy neighbour,

voice behind door: who is that?

kopiuncle: we are from the crassloots and want to talk to you,

voice behind door: how many of you out there??

lionheart: we have 2 persons out here.

voice behind door: very good, then go and talk to each other.

 

[bakkuttay]

postman on his final day of work delivered a registered letter to kopiuncle home.

after signing for the letter, ilovesingapore held his hand and led him to the bedroom.

she gave him the best fuck in his life, after which led him to the kitchen and cook him a sumptous lunch.

while drinking coffee, the postman saw a $10 note under the saucer.

postman: what is the $10 for???

ilovesingapore: i told kopiuncle before he left for work this morning that today is your last day. this is what he said.

(kopiuncle: fuck him, give him $10)

ilovesingapore: but lunch is my idea.

 

[bakkuttay]

in early days, kopiuncle and ilovesingapore were living in sheepland.

suffering premature ejaculation, went to consult a doctor.

doctor: try giving yourself a shock treatment when you are about to cum, this will delay you back a while.

a week later, doctor called kopiuncle to enquire if shock treatment work????

kopiuncle: i am now hospitalized because of the shock treatment.

previous week, happily, kopiuncle bought a gun and went home to tell ilovesingapore the good news.

going into the bedroom, found ilovesingapore nude in bed as though waiting for him.

kopiuncle did a 69 with ilovesingapore, within short, when about to cum, took out the gun and fired hitting the cupboard.

as a result in fright, ilovesingapore peed on his kopiuncle face and bit off 5 cm off kopiuncle's prick.

next, sammyleong his neighbour ran out from the cupboard with his hands in the air.