Daily Rubbish

[bakkuttay]

kopiunca went to a dark dimly lit bar in desker road and ordered a triple whisky, took it in one gulp.
bartender: must be very bad to drink that in one gulp. what happened????
kopiunca: went home just now and saw my mistress iluvsingapura having sex with my best friend.
bartender: that's bad, this triple for you now on the house. what did you say then????
kopiunca: iluvsingapura, pack you bags now and leave immediately!!!!!!!
bartender: what did you say to the best friend???
kopiunca: you BAD DOG.

 

[bakkuttay]

kopison: iluvsingapua mummy mummy i don't want my penis
iluvsingapura: why son????
kopison: kopiunca father in bathroom try to pull his penis.

 

[bakkuttay]

kopiunca,kopisai and kopiprick were discussing stupid silly thing their wives had done.

kopisai: my wife bought home 120 frozen chickens from a sale, but we do not even own a fridge.
kopiprick: my wife bought a brand new car, but both of us do not drive.
kopiunca: saw my wife iluvsingapura packed 20 doz condoms yesterday on a trip alone to france but she does not have a penis.

 

[bakkuttay]

dedicated to iluvsingapore

twinkle twinkle bluddy slut
name a guy you never fark
is he skinny is he tall
you also suck them all
twinkle twinkle bluddy bitch
close your legs, it stinks like rotten fish.

 

[bakkuttay]

iluvsingapore was hauled into the police station,
officer stood up to take station
iluvsingapore saw zipped was partially down
iluvsingapore exclaimed: oh no! giving breath analyser is it?

 

[kopiuncle]

escher, why must you follow that twits BKT and that Cockeyed idiot to spam garbages
you are above them lah
do not stoop to their level of idiocy
come on, get up and get out of this rubbish dump
and contribute postively with your brillance and wisdom
bkt and cokeyed twist are goners here...totally ignored and ostracised to the dumps

i want you back to the mainstream and make positive contributions...cheers!

 

[bakkuttay]

kopiunca ordered a beer, the bartender served a beer placed on a coaster.
kopiunca ordered another beer, bartender placed another coaster below the beer as first coaster go a missing.
kopiunca ordered a third beer with bartender served placing another coaster as second one goes missing again.
the fourth and fifth beer aslso seen the respective coaster also go missing.
finally for the sixth, no coaster was used by thr bartender.
suddenly, kopiunca yelled out: where is the bluddy cookie for my beer????????

 

[bakkuttay]

kopisai married iluvsingapore who is well well over 220kg.
declared her pregnancy to friend kopiprick after few months into marriage.

kopiprick: unbelieveable, unbelieveable!!!! with her multi wrinkly tiers of blubbers, you can still manage to locate her pussy.
kopisai: easy, before sex, sprinkle flour to her vast pubic forest. after foreplay, locate the wet slimy spot. BINGO!!! the pussy found.

 

[bakkuttay]

kopisai tried to chat up a girl seated next to him on the coach from singapore to ipoh.

kopisai: they say if we talk, the coach trip will not be boring.
girl: what do you want to talk????
kopisai: (trying to impress) how about nuclear energy???
girl: ok, but ask you a question. a horse, a cow and a deer all eat grass the same stuff.right??
kopisai: (trying to show interest) yes
girl: yet horse excretes clumps of dried grass, deer excretes pellets and cow flat patties. what do you suppose that is??
kopisai, hmmmmmmm, well i have no idea!!!!
girl: now, do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear energy when you don't even know SHIT??????

 

[bakkuttay]

kopisai was taken by a female client to 28th floor duxton hdb. having sex and husband unexpectedly came home.

female client: husband that is a robot i bought to have sex when you are away. just testing it now.
husband: nice you are so faithful to me.
female client: go kitchen now to make a coffee, one for you as well.

husband mumbling: i might as well turn it over and test with my 8" prick also.
kopisai robotically announcing : system error wrong hole, system error wrong hole, system error wrong hole.
husband: useless robot, useless robot, better dump down rubbish chute
kopisai announce: software updated try again, software updated try again, software updated try again

 

[bakkuttay]

iluvsingapura woke up from 2 months comatose from giving birth.

doctor: congatulations, you gave birth to twins, a girl and a boy. but kopisai abandoned you a few days later.
iluvsingapura: that farking bastard kopisai!!!!, who is taking care of my twins???
doctor: kopiprick his brother, and also named them already.
iluvsingapore: but he is uneducated arsehole. what name given for the girl??
doctor: Denise,
iluvsingapura: well nice, not bad not bad from an uneducated arsehole. what name for the boy??
doctor: Denephew

 

[bakkuttay]

a therapist was giving a sexual counselling session to group of 120 senior male participants.

therapist: now i am going to ask few questions on your frequency of sex. kindly be honest about it and raise your hands.

after asking from daily, weekly fortnitely monthly, all raised their hands except one at corner with a silly moronic salivating grin.
he walked over to the man who has a ugliest bashed up look face, and after looking at his name tag,

therapist: mr kopisai, i noticed you have not raised your hand and you are grinning like you strike toto. what is your frequency??
kopisai: doctor, i have sex only once a year with my wife iluvsingapura.
therapist: but then why are you so happy about it???
kopisai. because tonight is the night.

 

[bakkuttay]

iluvsingapura: doctor, i am sick, i am dizzy with my head spinning and my heart is burning.
waiter: one i am waiter not doctor, two, you are not sick but drunk coming from bar, three your left boob is resting on pot of tea.

 

[bakkuttay]

a midget walked past iluvsingapura, turned around and remarked

"omygawd!!!! i smelt rotten fish."

 

[bakkuttay]

on their honeymoon to a log cabin on a cold wintry winter day, kopiunca went out to cut firewood,
5 minutes later, kopiunca came in

kopiunca: my hands are awfully cold.
iluvsingapura: quick, put your hands between my thighs to warm up

after warming up, kopiunca went out for firewood again, but again after 5 minutes , came back into the log cabin

kopiunca: oh!!!!! ohoh!!!!!!!!!!, my hands are awfully cold again.
iluvsingapura: quick dearie, put your hands between my thighs to warm up again

this went on for 6 times altogether, the 7th time kopiunca came back in

kopiunca: oh!!!!!!!!!! bbbrrrrrrrr...., dearrrrrrrr, my hands are awfully cold again.
iluvsingapura: oh shit!!!!!!! why can't your fucking ears ever get cold for once???????

 

[bakkuttay]

before getting married to kopiunca, iluvsingapura went to church to make a confession.

iluvsingapura: father, i am pregnant
priest: how did that happen my child??
iluvsingapura: i got it from the second coming.
priest: how do you know it's from the second coming my child???
iluvsingapura: i swallowed the first one.

 

[bakkuttay]

iluvsingapura: how were you most touched by kopiprick expression of love for you??????

kopicunt: oh kopiprick will have a large bunch of roses whenever before we fuck. how did kopiunca show his love????

iluvsingapore: kopiunca will buy cold soba, warm it and eat out of my vagina. this is unimaginable out of this world foreplay!!!!

 

[bakkuttay]

kopiunca was surfing porn sites and saw a few questionable picture, yelled out to iluvsingapura.

kopiunca: these picture are of you performing sexual act. i thought you said i was your first honey
iluvsingapura: honey i said you was my first........................................................outside of my family

 

[bakkuttay]

2 nursing assistants iluvsingapura and kopiunca first met at a course, decided to go out dinner.
be4 sitting down, before eating, after eating and be4 leaving, iluvsingapura went to wash her hands.
decide to have sex in the hotel. before sitting on bed, after disrobing and before sex and after sex,
iluvsingapura continued the hand washing routine. and after the sex session,

kopiunca: guess you are a surgeon nursing assistant.
iluvsingapura: yes, how do you know?
kopiunca: you are washing your hands all the time.
iluvsingapura: i guess you are anesthetician nursing assistant?
kopiunca: you are right, but how do you know?
iluvsingapura: oh!!! just now during sex, i did not feel anything at all.

 

[bakkuttay]

iluvsingapura was showing kopicunt around the house right to the bedroom.

kopicunt: what is that two worn out spots next to the wall in the bedroom???
iluvsingapura: kopiunca always push me against the wall, the two worn out spots are caused by kopiunca’s knees.