For 29 years 11 months, i lived a great life. I have a tremendous loving family. They provided me with all the needs and wants.
I have very similar features to my mother so, I was shocked when I found the adoption papers yesterday in our JB house. My parents were in singapore then. I have a fraternal twin sis that doesnt look like any of our relatives.
All my life, I thought that I was the 3rd child and the birth certs showed that my adoptive parents were my birth parents. The documents I found were the adoption papers and a petition to change my sister & my names to our current name. And there too, was photocopy of my birth mum's IC. She looks exactly like me. From the info, she was 20 when she gave birth to me & my sis & there is no name of the father.
I am a muslim so, if a child is born out of wedlock, the name of the father should be known as Abdullah which means child of god. My 'original' name was radhiyah Binti Abdullah and with no name of the father listed, presummably, I am a bastard child.
There was one time, when i was 5, a lady came to our house and played with sis & I and she called me radhiyah, but at that age, i didnt think anything abt it.
For 20 yrs, the WHOLE family, my aunt, uncles, grandmother etc hid this from us. No wonder my late grandfather had this disgusted look everytime he looked at us.
And I think that my paternal aunt in law knows this lady as her relatives tend to know and show care abt us than anybody else. And they keep asking so many qns.
I have not told my parents abt what i have just discovered. But i feel sad that they didnt tell me. They tolerated with my tantrums, problems etc. And even defended me when i had a quarrel with my 2nd brother. They loved us not like, but MORE than their own children.
Usually, when I look in the mirror i could see both my parents faces, now, i just see a face of someone i dont know. I want answers from my birth mum, regarding health history, who was the guy who knocked her up etc. so many qns. It's just that I dont want to offend or hurt my parents feelings by searching for her. I dont want her love, I had plenty from my parents, I just want answers. I dont want to be thought as being ungrateful.
I am just sad that I am not related to them by blood. I couldnt stop thinking for this matter. Everything else doesnt seem to matter, i minute i am angry boys and now i am just angry at FATE!!!!! or whatever.
What should I do?
I have very similar features to my mother so, I was shocked when I found the adoption papers yesterday in our JB house. My parents were in singapore then. I have a fraternal twin sis that doesnt look like any of our relatives.
All my life, I thought that I was the 3rd child and the birth certs showed that my adoptive parents were my birth parents. The documents I found were the adoption papers and a petition to change my sister & my names to our current name. And there too, was photocopy of my birth mum's IC. She looks exactly like me. From the info, she was 20 when she gave birth to me & my sis & there is no name of the father.
I am a muslim so, if a child is born out of wedlock, the name of the father should be known as Abdullah which means child of god. My 'original' name was radhiyah Binti Abdullah and with no name of the father listed, presummably, I am a bastard child.
There was one time, when i was 5, a lady came to our house and played with sis & I and she called me radhiyah, but at that age, i didnt think anything abt it.
For 20 yrs, the WHOLE family, my aunt, uncles, grandmother etc hid this from us. No wonder my late grandfather had this disgusted look everytime he looked at us.
And I think that my paternal aunt in law knows this lady as her relatives tend to know and show care abt us than anybody else. And they keep asking so many qns.
I have not told my parents abt what i have just discovered. But i feel sad that they didnt tell me. They tolerated with my tantrums, problems etc. And even defended me when i had a quarrel with my 2nd brother. They loved us not like, but MORE than their own children.
Usually, when I look in the mirror i could see both my parents faces, now, i just see a face of someone i dont know. I want answers from my birth mum, regarding health history, who was the guy who knocked her up etc. so many qns. It's just that I dont want to offend or hurt my parents feelings by searching for her. I dont want her love, I had plenty from my parents, I just want answers. I dont want to be thought as being ungrateful.
I am just sad that I am not related to them by blood. I couldnt stop thinking for this matter. Everything else doesnt seem to matter, i minute i am angry boys and now i am just angry at FATE!!!!! or whatever.
What should I do?
