OMG, they paid ah neh so little, they turn to monkeys
Monkeys to guard
A CRACK team of monkeys have been deployed to provide security for athletes at the Commonwealth Games in India.
Athletes have been plagued by packs of wild rhesus monkeys breaking into buildings and stealing from their rooms at the games in New Delhi.
Organisers have now hired a team of 40 large grey langur monkeys to chase off their smaller cousins in an effort to keep buildings safe.
Patrol ... langur monkeys with their handlers. One official told local media: "They will scare the smaller monkeys away because they are real pests and very destructive."
Meanwhile, a team of 50 traditional snake charmers has been hired after one athlete found a live cobra in his room.
Senior Games official Lalit Bhanot said: "This is being done for the safety of those in the village."
Organisers also revealed they have hired an emergency team of cowboys in anticipation of a demonstration by a farmers' group which has threatened to drive hundreds of cows and buffaloes into the city.
Mr Bhanot said: "All this is to make the city hassle-free during the games."
The run-up to the games, set to open on Sunday, has been plagued by disasters, including a stadium bridge collapsing and the athletes' village being branded "uninhabitable".
Many top athletes have pulled out of the event - also beset by terrorist threats, monsoon floods, disease and allegations of dodgy construction.