What does the Bible say about marriage?

[Patriot]

What is the marriage supper of the Lamb?​

ANSWER

In his vision in Revelation 19:7–10, John saw and heard the heavenly multitudes praising God because the wedding feast of the Lamb—literally, the “marriage supper”—was about to begin. The concept of the marriage supper is better understood in light of the wedding customs in the time of Christ.

These wedding customs had three major parts. First, a marriage contract was signed by the parents of the bride and the bridegroom, and the parents of the bridegroom or the bridegroom himself would pay a dowry to the bride or her parents. This began what was called the betrothal period—what we would today call the engagement. This period was the one Joseph and Mary were in when she was found to be with child (Matthew 1:18; Luke 2:5).

The second step in the process usually occurred much later, when the bridegroom, accompanied by his male friends, went to the house of the bride at midnight, creating a torchlight parade through the streets. The bride would know in advance this was going to take place, and so she would be ready with her maidens, and they would all join the parade and end up at the bridegroom’s home. This custom is the basis of the parable of the ten virgins in Matthew 25:1–13. The third phase was the marriage supper itself, which might go on for days, as illustrated by the wedding at Cana in John 2:1–2.

What John’s vision in Revelation pictures is the wedding feast of the Lamb (Jesus Christ) and His bride (the Church) in its third phase. The implication is that the first two phases have already taken place. The first phase was completed on earth when each individual believer placed his or her faith in Christ as Savior. The dowry paid by the bridegroom’s parent (God the Father) would be the blood of Christ shed on the Bride’s behalf. The Church on earth today, then, is “betrothed” to Christ, and, like the wise virgins in the parable, all believers should be watching and waiting for the appearance of the Bridegroom (the rapture). The second phase symbolizes the rapture of the Church, when Christ comes to claim His bride and take her to the Father’s house. The marriage supper then follows as the third and final step. It is our view that the marriage supper of the Lamb takes place in heaven between the rapture and the second coming (during the tribulation on earth).

Attending the wedding feast will be not only the Church as the Bride of Christ, but others as well. The “others” include the Old Testament saints—they will not have been resurrected yet, but their souls/spirits will be in heaven with us. As the angel told John to write, “Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb” (Revelation 19:9). The marriage supper of the Lamb is a glorious celebration of all who are in Christ!

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

Basic Bible Prophecy: Essential Facts Every Christian Should Know by Ron Rhodes

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[Patriot]

What does the Bible say about interracial marriage?​

ANSWER

The Old Testament Law commanded the Israelites not to engage in interracial marriage (Deuteronomy 7:3–4). However, the reason for this command was not skin color or ethnicity. Rather, it was religious. The reason God commanded against interracial marriage for the Jews was that foreign people of were worshipers of false gods. The Israelites would be led astray if they intermarried with idol worshipers, pagans, or heathens. This is exactly what happened in Israel, according to Malachi 2:11.

A similar principle of spiritual purity is laid out in the New Testament, but it has nothing to do with race: “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14). Just as the Israelites (believers in the one true God) were commanded not to marry idolaters, so Christians (believers in the one true God) are commanded not to marry unbelievers. The Bible never says that interracial marriage is wrong. Anyone who forbids interracial marriage is doing so without biblical authority.

As Martin Luther King, Jr., noted, a person should be judged by his or her character, not by skin color. There is no place in the life of the Christian for favoritism based on race (James 2:1–10). In fact, the biblical perspective is that there is only one “race”—the human race—with everyone having descended from Adam and Eve. When selecting a mate, a Christian should first find out if the potential spouse is born again by faith in Jesus Christ (John 3:3–5). Faith in Christ, not skin color, is the biblical standard for choosing a spouse. Interracial marriage is not a matter of right or wrong but of prayer and personal choice.

A couple considering marriage needs to weigh many factors. While a difference in ethnicity should not be ignored, it absolutely should not be the determining factor in whether a couple should marry. An interracial couple may face discrimination and ridicule, and they should be prepared to respond to such prejudice in a biblical manner. But marriage is honorable among all (Hebrews 13:4). Also, “there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him” (Romans 10:12). A colorblind church and/or a Christian interracial marriage can be a powerful illustration of our equality and oneness in Christ.

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

Bloodlines: Race, Cross, and the Christian by John Piper

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[Patriot]

What does the Bible say about Interracial Marriage? | GotQuestions.org​

Got Questions Ministries

What does the Bible say about interracial marriage? Is interracial dating, or interracial relationships a sin? This video reveals what the Bible says about mixed marriages, race mixing, and mixed couples.

Watch as, Pastor Nelson with Bible Munch, reads the Got Questions article: “What does the Bible say about interracial marriage?”

*** Recommended Book: Just Don't Marry One: Interracial Dating, Marriage, and Parenting by Yancey & Yancey https://goo.gl/2CfUsQ

*** Curious about Bible Munch? Go check them out! / biblemunch

 

[Patriot]

What does the Bible say about a wife changing her last name at marriage?​

ANSWER

The tradition of a wife taking her husband’s last name at marriage is not found in the Bible. In Bible times, most people did not even have last names. Women were often identified by where they lived (e.g., Mary Magdalene, Luke 8:2), by their children (e.g., Mary the mother of James and Joseph, Matthew 27:56), or by their husband (e.g., Mary the wife of Clopas, John 19:25).

In Western culture, it has been a common tradition for a wife to change her last name to that of her husband. The vast majority of married women in the West still follow that tradition. There is nothing explicitly biblical about doing this, since the Bible issues no command to do so. Thus, there is nothing explicitly unbiblical about a wife keeping her maiden name or opting for a hyphenated hybrid.

Some women who legally change their last names after marriage are simply following cultural conventions. Many others, however, are consciously choosing to illustrate a couple of biblical principles, namely, the headship of the man and the fact that marriage is the union of two people into “one flesh.” Jesus taught that, when a man and a woman are married, “they are no longer two, but one flesh” (Mark 10:8). A common ritual during wedding ceremonies is the lighting of the unity candle, which illustrates Genesis 2:24, “A man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” The husband, as the head of the home and the nurturer of his wife (Ephesians 5:23), shares his name with her, rather than vice versa.

Other cultures may have different traditions regarding a woman changing or keeping her last name after marriage. Again, since the Bible does not specifically address the issue, the matter should be decided based on prayer, cultural considerations, and the wishes of the husband and the wife.

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

Sacred Marriage: What if God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy by Gary Thomas

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[Patriot]

What does the Bible say about handling money in a marriage?​

ANSWER

The Bible does not specifically address the handling of money in a marriage, but the principles regarding the relationship dynamics between the husband and wife touch on all aspects of the marriage. In other words, the principles set forth by the Lord in Ephesians 5:22-33 and Colossians 3:18-19 speak to all facets of the husband-wife relationship. This means that the spiritual balance of the spousal relationship, in all aspects, is directly impacted by the individual spouse’s personal relationship to God. In any relationship there is both blessing by association and suffering by association, and these principles are affected by the choice of each spouse to walk in obedience to the Lord.

Both spouses bring to their union strengths and weaknesses. Molding these individual characteristics into a workable relationship is a matter of understanding the order of God and the gift of grace. Financial decisions that impact the success of the family are a shared responsibility. Whatever the source of God’s provisions, whether the result of the husband’s employment or the wife’s employment or both, the assets accumulated are the responsibility of both partners together as a team. The important principle in regard to financial decisions is to “do all to the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31; Romans 14:8; Colossians 3:23-24).

Inherent in the marriage of two people in Christ, however, is the understanding that the husband is the ultimate authority. He is responsible to God to lead and shepherd his family, while his wife’s responsibility is to submit to him and be his helper. In the realm of money in a marriage, this could mean that the husband has sole control over the checkbook, pays all the bills, and sees to the family savings and investing as well as giving, while at the same time consulting his wife and getting her input on financial decisions. It can just as legitimately mean that he delegates this function to his wife, especially if she enjoys or is better suited to the details of the financial realm, and that she takes over the financial details of the “family business.” But the husband still has the responsibility to oversee the process. In the end, a couple that works together in the financial aspect of the family will be a couple that usually has good communication and mutual respect.

Finally in the area of money in a marriage, we are also given principles such as the one in Luke 6:38, which states that the more freely we give the greater the blessing. This means that there is a correlation between the giving that we do as unto the Lord and the blessing that we receive in return, both spiritual and financial. We cannot out-give God. The more faithful we are in giving back to the LORD, the more we find that what we retain is multiplied and, indeed, more than sufficient to the point of abundance.

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

Money and Marriage God’s Way by Howard Dayton

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[Patriot]

Why will people neither marry nor be given in marriage in the resurrection (Matthew 22:30)?​

ANSWER

In Matthew 22 Jesus fields a series of questions meant to entrap Him in His words. It’s in answer to one of those questions that Jesus says that “at the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven” (Matthew 22:30).

The immediate context of Jesus’ teaching that at the resurrection people will not marry is to answer a group of Jewish religious leaders called the Sadducees. The Sadducees presented a scenario where a woman was widowed seven times without any children, and each time, following the Mosaic Law (Deuteronomy 25:5), she married her deceased husband’s brother, who was to bear a child for his deceased brother. In the Sadducees’ scenario, the woman was married seven times to seven different brothers. They then asked Jesus, “Now then, at the resurrection, whose wife will she be of the seven, since all of them were married to her?” (Matthew 22:28).

The Sadducees’ question was dishonest to begin with, because they denied the reality of a future resurrection (Matthew 22:23; Acts 23:8). So, their question was purely for the purpose of trapping Jesus. Jesus’ response not only answered their question but also confronted their error concerning two doctrines: the future resurrection and the existence of angels.

Jesus attributes the Sadducees’ doctrinal errors to ignorance of two things: “You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God” (Matthew 22:29). Jesus then reveals the truth that “at the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven” (Matthew 22:30). He proceeds to prove, from the Scriptures, that there is life after death and there will be a resurrection. Quoting Exodus 3:6, Jesus points to God’s self-identification as the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Since God said, “I am” their God (present tense), and since “He is not the God of the dead but of the living” (Matthew 22:32), the patriarchs are still alive, and God is still their God.

Jesus does not address why people will not marry at the resurrection. Some have speculated that marriage won’t exist in the resurrected state because procreation will not be necessary. Some suggest that marriage, as a symbol of Christ and His people (Ephesians 5:22–23), will not be necessary as the reality will have replaced the symbol. Either way, Jesus is making several things clear: 1) there is certainly a resurrection; 2) this state of being will be drastically different from what humanity experiences now; 3) marriage will not occur; and 4) humanity will be like the angels, who also do not marry.

By answering the Sadducees’ question this way, Jesus was able to affirm the resurrection in the presence of many and provide the solution to the post-resurrection marriage conundrum. Existence in the resurrected state will simply be different from what we know now.

People will not marry or be given in marriage in the resurrected state, but that does not mean people will not remember their earthly relationships. To conclude that people will lose their memories of life before the resurrection stretches the text beyond what it says. Also, being “like the angels in heaven” does not mean that people will become angels, only that they will be like angels regarding marriage.

We should look forward to the resurrection, as it will be a glorious event and state of being:

No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him. They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever (Revelation 22:3–5; cf. Romans 8:18 and Matthew 17:1–3).

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

Matthew: Zondervan Exegetical Commentary on the New Testament by Grant Osborne

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[Patriot]

What is an appropriate level of physical intimacy before marriage?​

ANSWER

The modern view of sex before marriage is quite lax. One study found that 75 percent of American teenagers have had premarital sex. By the time the unmarried turn 44 years old, that number climbs to 95 percent (Finer, L. Public Health Reports, The Guttmacher Institute, January—February 2007, vol 122, pp 73–78). Even among self-identified Christians, 57 percent of U.S. adults believe that premarital sex “in a committed relationship” is sometimes or always acceptable (Pew Research Center, https://pewrsr.ch/3lJyBBE, accessed 11/8/22).

Such statistics are alarming to Christians who take the Bible seriously. Passages such as Ephesians 5:3 give clear guidance concerning physical intimacy outside of marriage: “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity . . . because these are improper for God’s holy people.” This command places the “guard rails” along a fairly strict path—not even a “hint” of immorality should be found among God’s people.

Determining an appropriate level of physical intimacy before marriage is something every unmarried couple must do. Fornication is categorized as sinful in the Bible, so sexual intercourse before marriage is definitely off limits. Other sexual acts, such as oral or anal sex, would also fall under the definition of fornication. But the boundaries must be even stricter than that: anything that even “hints” of sexual immorality is inappropriate for a Christian.

The Bible does not give us a list of activities that “hint” of immorality. Neither does it tell us what physical activities are “approved” for a couple to engage in before marriage. The idea behind the command is that sexual immorality should not exist among God’s people. Never should there be an occasion for observers to mention such a thing. Any accusation of immorality or inappropriate behavior in the church should be wholly untrue.

Where to draw the line? How much intimacy is too much, before marriage? Since the sexual act is wrong for an unmarried couple, behavior that leads to the act should also be curtailed. Thus, foreplay, which is the natural prelude to sexual intercourse, should be restricted to married couples. Anything that can be considered foreplay should be avoided until marriage. This would logically include fondling, nudity, and erotic conversations and behaviors.

An unmarried Christian couple should know their convictions and stick to them. Some couples may draw the line at light kissing. Others will stop at holding hands. Others will move the barriers even farther out, for conscience’s sake. The important thing is that the individual believer is allowed to live according to his or her own convictions. The conscience should not be violated. If there is any doubt whether an activity is right for an unmarried couple, it should be avoided, just to be safe (Romans 14:23). Christians have been set apart by God for His holy purposes, and we must take care to avoid immorality. Scripture gives strong warning on this matter: “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins. . . . For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life” (1 Thessalonians 4:3– 7).

All sexual activity and foreplay should be restricted to married couples. An unmarried couple should avoid any activity that tempts them toward sex, that gives the appearance of immorality, or that violates the conscience.

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

When God Writes Your Love Story: The Ultimate Guide to Guy/Girl Relationships by Eric & Leslie Ludy

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RELATED ARTICLES​

What does the Bible say a

 

[Patriot]

Will there be marriage in heaven?​

ANSWER

The Bible tells us, “At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven” (Matthew 22:30). This was Jesus’ answer in response to a question concerning a woman who had been married multiple times in her life —whom would she be married to in heaven (Matthew 22:23-28)? Evidently, there will be no such thing as marriage in heaven. This does not mean that a husband and wife will no longer know each other in heaven. This also does not mean that a husband and wife could not still have a close relationship in heaven. What it does seem to indicate, though, is that a husband and wife will no longer be married in heaven.

Most likely, there will be no marriage in heaven simply because there will be no need for it. When God established marriage, He did so to fill certain needs. First, He saw that Adam was in need of a companion. “The LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him’” (Genesis 2:18). Eve was the solution to the problem of Adam’s loneliness, as well as his need for a “helper,” someone to come alongside him as his companion and go through life by his side. In heaven, however, there will be no loneliness, nor will there be any need for helpers. We will be surrounded by multitudes of believers and angels (Revelation 7:9), and all our needs will be met, including the need for companionship.

Second, God created marriage as a means of procreation and the filling of the earth with human beings. Heaven, however, will not be populated by procreation. Those who go to heaven will get there by faith in the Lord Jesus Christ; they will not be created there by means of reproduction. Therefore, there is no purpose for marriage in heaven since there is no procreation or loneliness.

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

Heaven and the Afterlife: The Truth About Tomorrow and What It Means for Today by Erwin Lutzer

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[Patriot]

Will there be marriage in heaven? | GotQuestions.org​

Will there be marriage in Heaven? Jesus said in Matthew 22:30, “At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.” What does this mean? Will we still be married in Heaven? Will people get married in heaven? Will husbands and wives know each other in heaven? What does the Bible say about marriage? In this video, Pastor Nelson with Bible munch answers the question, “Will there be marriage in heaven?”.

*** Check out, Bible Munch! / biblemunch

 

[Patriot]

What does the Bible say about a trial separation in a marriage?​

ANSWER

When a couple enters into the covenant of marriage, the Bible tells us that God joins them together into one flesh. “Since they are no longer two but one, let no one separate them, for God has joined them together” (Matthew 19:6, NLT). Marriage is intended to be a lifelong commitment, not a temporary solution for loneliness or other emotional needs. God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) and never intends for a couple to separate once they are married (Matthew 19:8).

Because separation, whether it is legal or physical, involves the division of a married couple, it displeases God. First Corinthians 7:10–11 says, “A wife must not leave her husband. But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else go back to him. And the husband must not leave his wife.” Separation is never an ideal situation, but because of sin, it is sometimes necessary. If a spouse or child is being physically abused, for example, he or she should immediately seek help outside the home and separate from the abuser until appropriate help and treatment have been provided to all parties (see our article on domestic violence for more on this). Prayer and counsel from their pastor are also necessary for the restoration of the marriage and family.

Marriage vows should not be taken lightly, and separation should not be undertaken casually. Far too many couples decide to have a “trial separation” in order to discover what they truly want out of life, but they do so without any attempt to rebuild the marriage during this time. Instead of reconstructing the family on a foundation of faith in Christ, they drift farther apart until they eventually divorce. This is not in God’s perfect plan for marriage and family, even if it has become acceptable in our culture. “Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you in this world. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil” (Ecclesiastes 9:9).

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts, Revised: Seven Questions to Ask Before and After You Marry by Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott

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[Patriot]

Does marriage hinder your relationship with God?​

ANSWER

The issue that marriage might hinder one’s relationship with God was of concern to Paul in 1 Corinthians 7. Because of this, he stated that it is best for a single person to remain as he was—single. But he understood that the ability to handle a single life without “burning” with passion was not a gift given to everyone (verses 7-9). He states in verses 32-35 that the unmarried people are able to serve the Lord in an “unhindered” fashion because they do not need to focus a part of their lives on pleasing their spouses. But he also stated that whether married or not, we should be focusing on serving Christ (verses 28-31).

But the fact that Jesus did not call just single men—and even selected Peter, a married man (Matthew 8:14), as one of the three closest disciples—indicates that marriage need not hinder one’s intimacy with Christ. Likewise, in the Old Testament there are two individuals (among others) who were intimate with God. One was Daniel; another was Moses. One was single; one was married. Thus, marriage was not a factor in determining intimacy with God. Christian biographies of such men as Hudson Taylor, George Mueller, and Jim Elliot would also indicate that one’s intimacy with Christ need not diminish with marriage.

The key to marriage not putting a damper upon one’s intimacy with Christ is to be sure to marry “in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:39) or, to put it another way, not to become unequally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14) by marrying either an unbeliever or a believer who does not have the same doctrinal foundation or the same desire to serve Christ with a whole heart. Rather, if one marries “in the Lord,” the statements of Scripture concerning the benefits of a good companion become true (Proverbs 27:17; Ecclesiastes 4:9-12), and the spouse becomes an aid and encouragement in one’s walk with Christ.

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas

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[Patriot]

If a couple gets pregnant before marriage do they have to get married?​

ANSWER

Sex before marriage has become so commonplace in our society, even to the point of being expected, that many professing Christians don’t even consider it to be a sin. Our culture assumes that people do not possess the amount of self-control necessary for abstaining until marriage, so the idea has become unrealistic. God’s Word does not change, however, and the Bible tells us that sex outside of marriage is immoral (Matthew 15:19; 1 Corinthians 6:9, 6:13, 7:2; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3).

Any person who has become a born-again Christian by putting his or her faith and trust in Christ no longer belongs to himself. First Corinthians 6:18-20 (NLT) says, “Run away from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Or don’t you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.”

Disregarding God’s plan for marriage, sex, and family always results in these kinds of spiritual or physical consequences: grieving the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 4:30), guilt, shame, regret, loss of respect for self and others, division in families and between believers, poor role modeling, pain for future spouses, unwanted pregnancies, abortion, and sexually transmitted diseases. God intends for sex to be an intimate expression of love and commitment, to be shared only between a husband and wife. Sex just for the physical pleasure of it damages our spirituality and pulls us away from fellowship with God.

Anyone who has made the mistake of having sex outside of marriage can be forgiven, even if the mistake results in an unplanned pregnancy. First John 1:9 says, “But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from every wrong.” This does not mean that He will erase the consequences of our actions, but we can be restored spiritually by confessing and repenting from our sins. This means turning away from our sins and making the commitment to love and serve Christ.

There are some cases in which getting married before the baby is born would be wise. If a committed couple who was already planning to get married commits fornication which results in pregnancy, it would probably make it easier for the family and the child to marry before he or she is born. But if an uncommitted couple commits the same sin, getting married will not make them right in God’s eyes. In such a situation, getting married will only set them up for marital failure. The Bible does not instruct people as to whether or not to marry under these circumstances, although both parents are still obligated to support the child emotionally, spiritually and financially.

None of us are made right with God through works. We are saved by faith alone, trusting in Jesus Christ to save us from our sins, which lead to death. The Bible says, “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 6:23). God does not want us to try to right our wrongs, but He wants us to give Him our hearts. By laying down our own will and submitting to the sovereignty of God, we can be assured of not only a fulfilling life on earth, but also a place in heaven for eternity.

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

The Ten Commandments of Dating by Young & Adams

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