SINGAPORE : Violence against women fact sheet

[Valium]

Women cannot be caned because their reaction to being caned is different from men based on porn videos.

Can use whip?

 

[syed putra]

Can use whip?

That will aroused women even more.

 

[no_faith]

With AWARE and woman charter behind them, maybe indirect give them advantage to become more aggressive?
Ppl say 什么人都可以得罪， 女人得罪不起

 

[Leongsam]

Men get assaulted by wives too. Violence does not discriminate by gender.

Block 399 on Yishun Avenue 6, Singapore, where the incident happened. Photo: Google Maps
Woman assaults husband with potato peeler, golf club

The man’s wife became enraged after he repeatedly came home late from work

ByASIA TIMES STAFF

A 44-year-old Vietnamese woman was arrested after she flew into a rage and inflicted serious injuries to her 51-year-old Singaporean husband with a potato peeler and golf club. Her husband had arrived home late.

Zhong Zhengye and Phan Thi Ngoc Dung had been dating for nine years before marrying in September 2014, the Lianhe Wanbao (Singapore) reported Sunday. Zhong arranged for Phan and her daughter from a previous marriage to move to Singapore after their marriage.

Three years ago after they moved to a flat in Block 399 on Yishun Avenue, Zhong became very busy in his job as the head of business development in the company and his wife, who was a full-time housewife and only worked part-time jobs, became unhappy and frequently argued with him. The wife then started sleeping in her daughter’s room.
At 4 am on March 29, Zhong again arrived home after working late, which enraged his wife. She stabbed him with a potato peeler and hit him in the head with a golf club. Injured and bleeding severely, Zhong ran to the living room and called police while his 18-year-old stepdaughter restrained her mother.

Zhong was taken to Khoo Teck Puat Hospital, where he was diagnosed with a cerebral hemorrhage and could not see out of his left eye. He underwent two surgeries on April 2 and 9, and had to return for check-ups.

Meanwhile, his wife has been detained and has been undergoing an evaluation at the Institute of Mental Health until a court hearing scheduled for April 12.

If found guilty of voluntarily causing grievous hurt by dangerous weapons or means, she could face life imprisonment, or up to 15 years in jail as well as a fine or caning.

 

[Leongsam]

Woman jailed 7 months for slashing husband, assaulting 1-year-old son over USS tickets

By LOUISA TANG

TODAY file photo

Fang Dong Dong was sentenced to seven months’ jail on Friday (May 17), for causing hurt by a dangerous weapon, ill-treating a child, criminal intimidation, and causing alarm to her husband.

Published17 MAY, 2019
UPDATED 18 MAY, 2019

SINGAPORE — She first threatened to “chop” her husband with a kitchen knife, before slashing him for real a few months later while drunk.

A month later, the couple got into an argument because he failed to buy Universal Studios Singapore (USS) tickets for Halloween, which she wanted.

In a bid to make her husband apologise, she took two videos of herself hurling vulgarities at their young son and slapping the boy on the cheek.

On Thursday (May 17), Fang Dong Dong, a 29-year-old Chinese national, was sentenced to seven months’ jail.

She pleaded guilty to four charges of causing hurt by a dangerous weapon, ill-treating a child, criminal intimidation and causing alarm to her husband Chan Sin Kai, 50.
She has since been released from prison as her sentence was backdated to her date of remand: Oct 20, 2018.

 

[Leongsam]

Woman pleads guilty to stabbing husband over his lover's message

Wan Ting Koh
Reporter

Yahoo News Singapore14 September 2017

(PHOTO: Getty Images)

Nur Fairuzana Ahmad and her husband were in the bedroom of their Punngol home when he played an audio message of his girlfriend saying “I love you”.

When Muhammad Yasser Abdul Shukor replied in kind to the message, Fairuzana took a knife from the kitchen and stabbed him in the chest.

The 30-year-old shipping company administrator pleaded guilty on Thursday (14 September) to one charge of voluntarily causing hurt to her husband on 17 April last year. The couple have been married for 14 years and have two children.

Sometime earlier that year, Yaseer had confessed to his wife about his affair with a woman in the Philippines and made known his intention to take the woman as his second wife, said Fairuzana’s lawyer Vigneesh Nainar. Fairuzana decided to stay with her husband, hoping that he would change his mind.

In defending his client’s actions, Vigneeesh also pointed to the alleged abuse Fairuzana had suffered at Yaseer’s hands over the years of their marriage.

Struggle in the bedroom

On the day of the incident, Yaseer had been exchanging texts with his girlfriend while Fairuzana was with him in the bedroom of their home.

Angered by her husband’s reply to the other woman’s message, Fairuzana snatched away the phone. Yasser managed to take it back, pushing Fairuzana onto the bed in the process.

Fairuzana then left the room and later returned with a knife, whereupon she began shouting at Yasser before stabbing him in the chest. Yasser retaliated by grabbing her hand, causing Fairuzana to drop her knife. He then threw the knife out the window and called the police.

Fairuzana was arrested and taken to the Institute of Mental health where she was later diagnosed with adjustment disorder. Yasser was conveyed to Changi General Hospital and was found to have a 3cm stab wound on the right side of his chest.

Husband was ‘abusive’, says defence

While the prosecution sought a two-month jail sentence for Fairuzana – noting that she had used a dangerous weapon on her husband – the defence sought a Mandatory Treatment Order (MTO) with probation instead. Those issued with MTOs are given mental health treatment in lieu of jail time.

Fairuzana’s lawyer said that the offence was not premeditated and that she had taken the knife into the bedroom out of fear of being attacked by her husband, whom she alleged as having been repeatedly violent towards her.

Yasser had also antagonised Fairuzana after she returned to the bedroom with the knife, the defence said. “He bullishly asked her what she thought she was going to do with the knife, and if she thought that he was afraid of her… Our client was already distressed and her husband’s bullish responses only exacerbated the argument,” said Vigneesh.

Throughout the couple’s 14 years of marriage, Yasser was also allegedly abusive towards Fairuzana, causing her to take out a personal protection order against him in 2012. In 2004, shortly after the birth of their first child, Yasser allegedly assaulted Fairuzana with a billiard cue to the extent that she was unable to walk.

Between January and April last year, police had also been called to the couple’s residence three times, the defence added.

On one occasion, Yaseer had allegedly attacked his wife by sitting on her and choking her while she was still undressed after a shower. On another occasion, Yasser had allegedly restrained Fairuzana and cut off her fringe in order to embarrass her.

“Her marriage to her husband was a tumultuous one where she endured both physical and emotional abuse throughout. Adultery, attempted suicide, violent beatings and constant taunting are just a few things that she had suffered in the years and weeks prior to the… night of 17 April,” said Vigneesh.

Fairuzana has since moved out of her matrimonial home and is now living with her parents. She is currently undergoing therapy for her psychiatric condition and also decided to file for a divorce.

The couple’s children have been placed under the care of Yaseer’s mother and, as of February, Fairuzana has been granted unsupervised access to them.

Sentencing has been adjourned to 16 October for the court to assess Fairuzana’s suitability for a MTO. For voluntarily causing hurt, Fairuzana could have been jailed up to two years and/or fined $5,000.

 

[Leongsam]

This violence by women against me has got to stop!

 

[Leongsam]

https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/what-domestic-violence-against-men-looks-like

WHAT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AGAINST MEN LOOKS LIKE

“It’s hard for a guy to say ‘I need help,’” says Paige Flink, the chief executive of the Family Place, a domestic violence shelter for men in Dallas that opened in May. “It’s just not a natural instinct for a lot of men.”

The Family Place is on track to serve 65 to 70 men this year, Fink tells me, and she says there’s no common denominator among them. To wit: Of the seven men who currently live at the shelter, one’s girlfriend began beating his daughter; one was strangled by his male partner; and one was stabbed by his brother, after the resident had accused him of sexually abusing his daughter.

Then there’s Joshua Miller, whose girlfriend smashed their 2-year-old son’s guitar into his forehead. When the police arrived, however, Miller was the one cuffed. “Men are not looked at as victims,” he told the Los Angeles Timesearlier this month. “People say, ‘A woman can’t hurt you.’”

Miller’s experience is typical, says Emily M. Douglas, an associate professor of social work at Bridgewater State University in Massachusetts, whose research over the last 15 years has largely focused on partner violence against men.

She says the need to be “macho” has resulted in men not even considering themselves victims or realizing the violence they’re experiencing is a crime. “We don’t think of men as being capable of being victims or targets of abuse. We associate them with moral and physical strength and being protectors, which doesn’t align nicely with an image of someone being physically abused, psychologically manipulated or degraded.”

Plus, when men do seek help, she adds, they often feel they’ve lost their “man cred” — i.e., strength, self-reliance, etc. “That’s largely an internal barrier that women haven’t had to overcome.”

According to the most recent study from the CDC, there are more men than women who are victims of intimate partner physical violence. I ask Douglas if that could possibly be true — after all, aren’t men thought to be more aggressive?

“Research since the early 1970s has shown that men and women perpetrate violence against each other at roughly the same rates,” she says. “It’s an issue that’s largely been overlooked. And men have trouble finding help.”

For example, she says when men call domestic violence agencies or law enforcement they’re often ridiculed. “Men report that the police often laugh at them and say things like ‘What’s wrong with you? Can’t you control your woman?’”

“When I called the police to file a complaint against my former wife,” Ian Alterman wrote in a 1994 letter to The New York Times, “the initial response was amused disbelief. When I finally convinced them my complaint was real, the response — without missing a beat — was, ‘So hit her back.’”

Nine years before Alterman’s letter, the U.S. National Family Violence Surveyfound that when domestic violence calls to the police were made…

• The man was ordered out of the house in 41.4 percent of cases when a woman called, but the woman was never ordered out of the house when the man called.
• The man was threatened with immediate arrest in 28.2 percent of cases when a woman called, but the woman was never threatened with arrest when the man called.
• The man was threatened with arrest at a later date in 10.7 percent of cases when a woman called, but the woman was never threatened with arrest at a later date when the man called.
• The man was actually arrested in 15.2 percent of cases when a woman called, but the woman was never arrested when the man called. In fact, in 12 percent of cases when the man called, the man himself was arrested.

Men receive a similarly unsympathetic reaction from friends, Flink says. “The minute they start talking about what their girlfriend is doing to them they say, ‘C’mon man, buck up.’ Then the guy feels like he’s not as strong of a man. It’s emasculating.”

Accounts from both the history books and tabloids seem to support the notion that none of this is all that new:

• Records indicate that Mary Todd Lincoln hurled potatoes at Abe, threw a cup of hot coffee at him, assaulted him with a piece of firewood and chased him around the yard with a knife — twice causing bloody injuries to his head.
• Humphrey Bogart’s third wife, Mayo Methot, stabbed him in the backduring an alcohol-induced fight.
• Lionel Richie’s ex-wife, Brenda Harvey, was arrested for spousal abuse in 1988 for beating Richie after catching him in bed with another woman.
• Christian Slater required 20 stitches to his neck after his wife hurled a glass at him at the Las Vegas Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in 2003.
• Whitney Houston admitted to beating husband Bobby Brown. “Contrary to belief,” she proudly told the AP in 1999, “I do the hitting, he doesn’t.”
• Al Green’s girlfriend, Mary Woodson, dumped a pan of boiling grits on him while he was taking a shower because he refused to marry her, resulting in third-degree burns on his back, stomach and arms.
• And of course there’s Lorena Bobbitt who, in 1993, sliced off her husband’s penis at the base with a kitchen knife as he slept.

Although DIY castration is rare, when men are the victims of domestic violence, there’s a much better chance they’ve been physically injured. That’s because, as journalist Philip W. Cookpoints out in Abused Men: The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence, the stereotype of a husband getting a plate thrown at him or being hit over the head with a rolling pin is accurate. “Women were significantly more likely to throw an object, slap, kick/bite/hit with fist and hit with an object,” he writes.

Maureen McLeod, an assistant professor of criminal justice at Stockton College, conducted the most exhaustive examination of police reports on spousal abuse in 1984 and had a similar finding. “Offenses against men are significantly more serious in nature,” she noted. “Whereas just over one-fourth of all spouse abuse incidents involving female victims are categorized as aggravated assaults, the corresponding for male victims is demonstrably higher: 86 percent are aggravated; over two-thirds of these events are serious assaults with a deadly weapon.”

And so, McLeod says, nearly all men injured by domestic violence require medical attention and half of them are hospitalized overnight or longer.

Adapted from Maureen McLeod, “Women Against Men: An Examination of Domestic Violence Based on an Analysis of Official Data and National Victimization,” Justice Quarterly, 1985
Nor is anything really changing. Case in point: While incidents of domestic violence have dropped more than 50 percent since the 1994 Violence Against Women Act was passed, studies have shown that violence against males has remained steady. Douglas says this demonstrates that we’re not paying enough attention to the issue. “There’s been a longstanding belief here and across the globe that patriarchy is the root cause of domestic violence. That may have been true in another time. It may be true in other parts of the world. It may even account for some of the partner violence we still see here. But it certainly doesn’t explain all of the partner violence today.”
She adds that the methods we’ve traditionally used to tackle partner violence — reaching out to women, public education campaigns, making services available to women — have been effective, but only through one lense. “Those same efforts haven’t been put in place with regard to men. It’s been advocated that men speak out against male violence, but women haven’t been asked to speak out against female violence.”

Shelters like The Family Place are trying to do their part. “We moved gender-neutral at The Family Place 10 years ago because we felt it was a more open-minded way to look at things — and the need was there,” Flink explains. The Taylor House Domestic Violence Shelter for Men in Arkansas, which opened in 2015, saw the need, too. Valley Oasis, a domestic violence shelter north of L.A., provides services to both men and women in a co-ed living space. And all shelters in Illinois now provide services for men.

As a society, Douglas says, we’ve worked hard to have systemic responses to domestic violence, which include educating judges, law enforcement, attorneys and average men and women. “It’s time to make the next shift and start educating that same group of providers, professionals and responders to understand domestic violence isn’t always what it looks like,” she continues. “Stop asking, ‘Are men the real victims, or are women the real victims?’ and just accept that partner violence exists among all partners, regardless of gender.”

 

[cloudy]

Singapore husband beats wife mercilessly at Jurong bus stop


A video of a husband beating wife in Singapore has made news. The couple were in the middle of divorce proceedings when the altercation happened.
The incident apparently occurred at a bus stop near Block 408 Jurong West Street 42, at around 4 pm.

Video shows husband beating wife in Singapore bus stop

Apparently, all hell broke loose when the couple ran into each other on a bus on the afternoon of 11 November 2018.

According to Shin Min Daily News, it was something the woman said that angered the man and triggered the dispute.

It seems, the man pushed the woman off the bus when they reached the bus stop.

A bus commuter took a video of the man beating his wife, pinning her down and punching her face. The woman is seen struggling to break free from his grip.
The 9-second video was posted on Weibo first.

The woman suffered injuries to her head and hands and was taken to hospital for treatment. According to Stomp, a police report has been lodged.

Helplines for dealing with family violence

Here are some things you can do if you find yourself in an abusive relationship:

1. Seek help immediately
For immediate advice or help, call:

• Police – 999
• AWARE Helpline – 1800 777 5555 (Mon–Fri, 3 pm– 9.30 pm)

In the event that a life is in danger, call the Police at 999 immediately.

2. See the doctor

• Immediately visit the doctor in case of serious physical injuries.
• Remember to tell your doctor the truth
• Do remember that your personal information is secure. The law ensures that medical reports are private.
• If you do experience abuse and find it a serious issue, you will still find visiting a doctor beneficial. A doctor’s medical report can help you if decide to apply for a Personal Protection Order (PPO).
• Retain your receipt for the medical services as evidence.

3. Lodge a Police Report

• Lodging a police report is beneficial even if you don’t want to take legal action, as police reports may help if you do apply for legal protection.
• To start, visit a police service counter – any will do – including neighbourhood police posts.
• Photocopy the police report so that you can refer to it later.
• Keep check of eyewitness accounts, texts, emails or recordings that could possible indicate forms of harassment that isn’t so obvious, such as emotional abuse or physical abuse.

4. Seek Counsellors or Other Forms of Support

• If you need someone to talk to, you can always visit a counsellor who can guide you better.
• Counselling may also help aggressors admit that they’re wrong and change for the better.
• Here’s a list of organisations which provide counselling services:

Please call ComCare on 1800 222 0000 to be connected to the nearest centre.
These Family Service Centres specialise in counselling related to family violence:

5. Stay in a Crisis Shelter

• If you find yourself having no way out, or no other person to turn to, a crisis shelter is your last resort.
• For Crisis Shelter admission, you need a referral from:
  • Police
  • Any Family Service Center or hospital social workers
• Note that you can stay in a crisis shelter home for no longer than three months.

6. Apply for a Personal Protection Order
The following parties can apply for a Protection Order if they are facing family violence

• spouse or former spouse
• a child, including adopted and step children
• father, mother, in-laws or siblings of the offender
• any other relative or a person who is unable to look after himself or herself, who in the opinion of the court should be regarded as a member

In Singapore, a PPO can be applied for in the Family Court in person or through a Family Lawyer for ease and peace of mind. Protection Orders are not available to protect parties in non-marital intimate relationships.

In the event that a life is in danger, call the Police at 999 immediately.

Also READ: This Singapore mum got beaten up during her pregnancy
(Source: Stomp, AWARE)

 

[cloudy]

• WOMEN'S HELPLINE
  1800 777 5555
  mon - fri, 10 a.m. - 6 p.m.
• SEXUAL ASSAULT CARE CENTRE
  6779 0282
  mon - fri, 10 a.m. - 10 p.m.
• GENERAL ENQUIRIES
  6779 7137
  [email protected]

GETTING A PERSONAL PROTECTION ORDER
1Personal Protection Orders

• The most common form of a Protection Order is the Personal Protection Order (PPO).
  Under the PPO, the court may make one or both of the following orders:
  1. The offender cannot use family violence against the family member;
  2. The offender cannot incite or assist anyone to commit family violence against the family member
  The PPO is granted only after a trial unless the offender consents to the grant of the PPO. Medical reports and police reports can be helpful to obtain a PPO.
• Where can you apply for a PPO?
• You can apply for a PPO at the Protection Order Services of the Family Court or go to any of the following places to make the complaint through a video-link facility:
  PAVE:
  Blk 211, Ang Mo Kio Avenue 3
  01-1446, Singapore 560211
  Tel: 6555 0390
  Fax: 6552 5290
  SAFE@TRANS
  Blk 410 Bedok North Avenue 2
  #01-58
  Singapore 460410
  Tel: 6449 9088
  Care Corner Project StART
  Blk 7A Commonwealth Avenue, #01-672, Singapore 141007
  Tel 6476 1482
• 
  
• 3What forms of legal protection are available other than the PPO?
  Expedited Order
  • This is an urgent PPO made before the trial.
  • It is granted if there is imminent danger of physical injury to any family member.
  • EO is valid only for 28 days or when the trial begins whichever occurs earlier.
  Domestic Exclusion Order
  • The Court may make one or more of the following orders:
    
    
  • • That the offender leaves the home
    • That the offender be prohibited from entering the home or some portion of the home
    • That the applicant be permitted to enter and remain in the home.
  The DEO only restricts the right of the offender to occupy the home; it does not affect his/her ownership of the house.
• 4What if the PPO/EO/DEO is disobeyed?
  • You should call or go to the police immediately.
  • The police will then investigate whether to charge the offender for breach of order.
  • Breach of order is a criminal offence that is punishable by a fine of up to $ 2000 for a first conviction or imprisonment for a term of up to six months or both.
  • In the case of a second or subsequent conviction, the offender can be fined up to $ 5,000 or imprisoned for a term not exceeding 12 months, or to both.
• 5Penal Code Offences
  • A person who is hurt by someone who is not their family member (for example, an intimate partner who is not a spouse) may report the offence to the police or take out a private summons against the offender.
  • Where the injuries are minor, the relevant offence is that of Hurt. The applicable punishment is imprisonment up to 2 years and fine up to $5,000.
  • Where the injuries are major (e.g. involving broken bones, loss of sight, hearing or limb), the relevant offence is that of Grievious Hurt. The applicable punishment is imprisonment up to 10 years, fine or caning.
  • In the case of Grievous Hurt, the police may arrest and charge the offender.
• 6Getting a Lawyer for Legal Protection
  You do not need a lawyer to obtain a PPO or to take out a private summons for the offence of Hurt although this may be helpful if you can afford it. The following organisations offer legal clinics where you can get preliminary legal advice:
  • AWARE (You can call the helpline at 1800-774-5935 to fix an appointment)
  • Singapore Association of Women Lawyers’ Pro Bono Legal Consultation Clinics (You need to call to check if you qualify for free legal consultation)
  • The Law Society of Singapore (You need to register for making an appointment)
  • You can check with your neighbourhood Community Center. They may be holding regular legal clinics.

• Contact Us
• Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2018 AWARE. All rights reserved.

 

[cloudy]

Definitions and Statistics | We Can
www.wecansingapore.com

Definitions

Physical violence:
Slapping, choking, or punching her. Using hands or objects as weapons. Threatening her with a knife or gun. Committing murder.

Sexual violence:
Using threats, intimidation, or physical force to force her into unwanted sexual acts. Showing her pornography against her will.

Emotional or verbal violence:
Cursing, yelling, or insulting her. Making degrading comments about her body or behaviour. Forcing her to commit degrading acts. Confining her to the house. Destroying her possessions. Threatening to kill her or the children. Threatening to commit suicide.

Financial violence:
Stealing or controlling her money or valuables. Not contributing money to run the household. Forcing her to work. Denying her the right to work.

Spiritual violence:
Using her religious or spiritual beliefs to manipulate, dominate, and control her.

Criminal harassment/stalking:
Following her or watching her in a persistent, malicious, and unwanted manner. Invading her privacy in a way that threatens her personal safety.

Statistics

• 1 in 3 women on the planet will be raped or beaten in her lifetime.
• Four UN agencies interviewed 10,000 men across seven countries in the Asia-Pacific, with startling results. 1 in 4 said they had raped a woman or girl, while 1 in 25 admitted to taking part in gang rape.
• Singapore ranked 57 out of 137 in the 2011 Global Gender Gap report with a score of 0.691, with 0 representing inequality and 1 representing equality
• 1 in 10 women in Singapore has experienced physical violence or abuse by a male.
• 6 in 10 victims of violence in Singapore suffer repeated victimisation.
• More than 70% of such cases in Singapore are not reported to the police.
• More than 2 cases a week reach AWARE’s Sexual Assault Befrienders Service.
• The We Can Campaign was launched in South Asia in 2004. It has since signed up 3.7 million people across 6 countries to the Campaign.
• Almost all Change Makers interviewed (91%) showed change at some level due to activities of the We Can Campaign

 

[cloudy]

 

[bobby]

Violent women are created by weak men.,...

 

[bobby]

Violence is part of survival.

 

[Asterix]

This problem of husbands beating wives and wives torturing husbands can be easily solved by changing the law to make divorces easy and stress free. All pre-nuptial agreements will be recognised no matter how unfair the terms appear to any Ah Lian gold digger as long as she knows what she is signing.

 

[AhMeng]

This problem of husbands beating wives and wives torturing husbands can be easily solved by changing the law to make divorces easy and stress free. All pre-nuptial agreements will be recognised no matter how unfair the terms appear to any Ah Lian gold digger as long as she knows what she is signing.

What about kids? Can agree who get the custody before marriage? Lol

 

[laksaboy]

Feminazi activists make me sick.

http://www.wecansingapore.com

 

[bobby]

Feminazi activists make me sick.

http://www.wecansingapore.com

If women want equal prize money...why they only play 3 sets in the tennis grand slam events?

 

[cloudy]

The ‘invisible problem’ of family violence: Older women who suffer in silence

www.channelnewsasia.com

SINGAPORE: For more than 10 years, 56-year-old Mandy* endured insults and vulgarities being hurled at her almost every day, by a man she loved. Her husband, who had been in and out of prison for drug offences, also asked her for money regularly to feed his habit.
“He threatened to ‘not let me go’ and to ‘slowly torture me if he has the chance’ if I reported him to the Central Narcotics Bureau (CNB),” said Mandy, who works as a cleaner. Things came to a head in June last year, when she was leaving for work in the wee hours of the morning and he asked her for money again.

AdvertisementAdvertisement

“I replied that I had no money to give him,” she said. “I was leaving for work and was about to open the door, when he hit me on the back with his fist.”

AN INVISIBLE PROBLEM

Mandy is part of a group of older women that appears to be growing in number: Those facing physical or verbal abuse from a loved one.

The issue was first raised in Parliament in October by MP for Nee Soon GRC Lee Bee Wah, who filed a parliamentary question. “In May and June this year, I met up with three VWOs (voluntary welfare organisations) serving my residents to ask if there is anything I can do to help,” she said. “All three told me they see an increase in family violence for women above 50.”

AdvertisementAdvertisement

“Any woman suffering from domestic violence is one too many, so I spoke about it in Parliament.”

In response to Dr Lee’s question, Minister for Social and Family Development Desmond Lee noted that the number of applications for Personal Protection Orders (PPOs) made by women above the age of 50 has remained relatively stable over the last three years. But he also described the issue as an “invisible problem”, pointing out that 40 per cent of people his ministry surveyed last year feared reporting family violence as they felt it was a private matter.

The law defines family violence as causing hurt, confining, restraining or harassing a family member, and placing or attempting to place them in fear of hurt. But AWARE’s head of advocacy and research Jolene Tan noted that family violence does not only take the form of bruises and broken bones.
“It can be physical, verbal, psychological, emotional or sexual,” she said. “Because of harmful gender stereotypes, men are more likely to exercise economic and social power over women in their families, which perpetuates situations of family violence.”

And according to those Channel NewsAsia spoke to, instances of family violence often go under-reported, particularly when it comes to older women.

Cases of domestic violence form the second-highest number out of all the cases seen at the Singapore Children’s Society’s Yishun Family Service Centre. And Goh Si Yong, a senior social worker with the centre, estimates that the number is even higher.

“The numbers that we have on hand are those who reported family violence as their presenting issue when they come in,” she said. “But when we talk to the other cases when the presenting issue has to do with finances or parenting, we realised that when we dig further, there is family violence as well.”

It is likely that a significant number go unreported.

“Statistics show that the population in Singapore is greying, but the figures (for cases of violence against older women) are about the same,” added Ms Goh. “So we concluded that it could be under-reported, and the elderly are not coming forward.”

WATCH: The issue as tackled on the programme Talking Point (1:40)

OLDER WOMEN LESS LIKELY TO COME FORWARD

AWARE’s Ms Tan noted that not everyone is willing or able to file a police report or a PPO. “Many examples we see of violence against older women reflected continued abusive behaviour by perpetrators that has taken place over a long period of time,” she said.
“Older women are more physically vulnerable, and tend to rely more on others – including, at times, their abusers – for their financial well-being, care, health and safety,” she said. “Abusers may also deny them medication or healthcare visits, which can put their lives at risk.”

“Many examples we see of violence against older women reflected continued abusive behaviour by perpetrators that has taken place over a long period of time,” she added.
Ms Goh also pointed out that in cases of family violence involving older women, the perpetrator of violence may also be the woman’s son.

“They will consider things like what other family members will think, and will be very mindful about what the implications will be if they apply for a PPO against their son,” she said. “And they may give more thought to their son’s well-being, and if the PPO will affect their son’s future.”

She added that there could also be a language barrier for older women, or they could be fearful of authority. “If the police come, but the other party is more eloquent, then they are worried that the police might not believe them,” she said. “And then they may get scolded.”

Indeed, while Mandy sought help at the Singapore Children’s Society shortly after her husband hit her, it took almost a year for her to report him to the CNB for drug abuse. “I felt guilty for reporting my own husband, and feared that he would know, and bear a grudge towards me,” she said.

And her fears were not unfounded: When her husband was released on self-bail after she reported him, she was scolded, harassed and threatened daily. As a result, she had to move out and stay at a backpacker hostel until he had to return to the CNB.

SPOTTING THE SIGNS

Given the reluctance of victims to come forward, it is therefore important that friends and relatives learn to spot the signs and offer them support and assistance. “Public education on the reality of family violence needs to be implemented more widely,” said Ms Tan. “Once we acknowledge that domestic violence is not just physical, we see that it is a common occurrence that is largely tolerated or excused.”

Victims, she said, may sometimes express unwillingness to return home or see their perpetrator. They may also be socially isolated or forced to ask for permission before meeting others or going somewhere.

Physical signs like bruise marks may also be evident, said Ms Goh. “They come in with bruises or signs of hurt on their face or on their body, and sometimes, they look very fearful, and their whole body will be curled up.”
Her advice to friends and family is to ask after their well-being in a non-judgmental, non-intrusive way.

“They could say things like, ‘it seems to me that you look quite down recently, and are you going through something?’ So check in and give her some space to talk about it,” she said. “Just be there to offer assistance and to be present, and give them a listening ear.

“If she’s not ready to talk about it, they can also offer to accompany her to seek help or visit a doctor,” she added.
Today, Mandy’s husband is still in remand at CNB. While she says she is disappointed in him for going back to drugs time and again, and his threats and words towards her and her now 29-year-old son, she is still hopeful he can change for the better.

But she does not regret speaking up.
“I want to share my story so that women will not suffer abuse in silence, and not feel that it is a shameful thing,” she said. “Don’t defend or make a reason for your husband as it’s wrong and will only bring harm to yourself or your children.

“Think of your children.”
*Not her real name

 

[cloudy]

Aware | Women's Action
www.womensaction.sg

Fifty years ago, violence against women was not considered a social problem of any significance, in the public domain at least. The penal code acknowledged sexual violence against women and girls—such as rape, molestation and incest—and carried penalties ranging from fines to caning and jail time for offenders. Violence against any person was considered a crime, as long as it occurred in public, and women were not treated as a particular group requiring special protections under the law.
This masked a grim reality happening behind closed doors, in the very place where women should have felt safest: their homes.

Domestic violence, overwhelmingly perpetrated against women by their male relatives, was a chronic social ill that was largely condoned by society. The reasons stemmed partly from deeply-held gender stereotypes that cast women as subordinate to men, and from a general attitude that the issue was a ‘private family matter’. At the government policy level, there was also a notion of the family unit as a sacred building block of society, with the man as the “head of the household”. This led to reluctance by the state to intervene and criminalise domestic violence.
The Women’s Charter , which took effect in 1961, addressed gender imbalances by providing women with more protections in marriage and divorce, but was silent on domestic violence.

An introduction to the Women’s Charter

An introduction to the Women’s Charter

The Women’s Charter was a piece of legislation passed to protect the rights of women and girls in Singapore. It deals with issues such as polygamy, divorce and the division of matrimonial assets. It also provides for protection against domestic violence. It applies to all Singaporeans, with the exception of those married under Muslim law when it comes to divorce.
Related themes Civil Society Politics ViolenceFamily
Emerging from the shadows

The issue remained in the shadows until the 1980s, when members of the women’s movement began to shine a spotlight on the scale of the problem.
The newly formed Singapore Council of Women’s Organisations (SCWO) organised, as one of its very first events, a forum on violence against women in 1981. The Association of Women for Action and Research (AWARE) followed up with a major research project on violence in the home, and a forum in 1986.

The state was still slow to act, but momentum was clearly building, propelled by the advocacy of women’s groups.​

The state was still slow to act, but momentum was clearly building, propelled by the advocacy of women’s groups. In 1987, a Task Force Against Family Violence was set up by the SCWO, AWARE and the National Crime Prevention Council. It focused on public education, and led to a groundbreaking year-long awareness campaign—the ‘Stop Violence Against Women Campaign’. The campaign involved performances, dialogues and exhibitions in public areas like community centres and libraries, distributed information widely to raise awareness, and encouraged victims to break their silence.

These public activities enabled the issue to be brought before state institutions. Advocates called for changes in the law to provide better protection and services for victims. 1 The campaign culminated in the launch of a handbook by AWARE and the Singapore Association of Women Lawyers (SAWL) called Men, Women and Violence, intended as a guide for women on their legal rights. The handbook included strategies for coping with violence, and information on preventive measures, as well as existing police and legal proceedings.

The significance of the campaign was to give, for the first time, ‘public legitimacy to an issue hitherto confined to the private world of family, children and intimate relationships.’​

“When the public campaign first started... and we went to various community centres and libraries with exhibitions and talks on violence, we were lucky to have an audience, so unresponsive was the environment to the problem of domestic violence,” Constance Singam, who was president of AWARE at the time, recalled. The significance of the campaign gave, for the first time, “public legitimacy to an issue hitherto confined to the private world of family, children and intimate relationships.” 2
A group of counsellors and social workers also came together to form the Society Against Family Violence (SAFV). They saw the need to tackle structural causes of violence by advocating for change onthe policy level, as well as offering training for fellow practitioners on helping clients who were victims.
Benny Bong, President and a founding member of SAFV, remembers how there was little to no recognition within the psychosocial services sector that violence against women was a major problem. No one was seeing the big picture, and it was common for practitioners to focus solely on their client’s behaviour and feelings.

“In fact, we even ‘blamed’ them in a way, by suggesting for instance how they could stop triggering their husbands’ violent outbursts.” — Benny Bong​

They had many clients who were depressed or anxious, and who complained about abuse from their husbands. “But we never framed this within the context of domestic violence, we didn’t recognise or understand what our clients were going through at home and why they kept going back to their abusers. In fact, we even ‘blamed’ them in a way by suggesting for instance how they could stop triggering their husbands’ violent outbursts. The problem was that we were only engaging women, not men,” he said. “Not only did we not know how to deal with men as perpetrators, but the law didn’t compel them to get counselling so we didn’t even have them as clients.” 3
Addressing domestic violence
Legislative and policy changes
By the 1990s, NGO advocacy was beginning to bear fruit. Violence against women slowly began to receive recognition as a serious issue that needed the state’s attention. Two major developments in 1995 helped turn the tide.
First, Singapore became a member state of the UN Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW), which includes ending violence against women as a core focus. In its regular reports to the CEDAW Committee, the government would have to show progress in dealing with the issue, including implementing reforms in legislation and law enforcement.
What is CEDAW?
The Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW) was adopted in 1979 by the United Nations. It is often referred to as an international bill of rights for women.
All states that sign on to the Convention commit themselves to taking the necessary measures to end discrimination against women in all forms. This is a legally binding obligation. States are also required to submit national reports, at least every four years, on what they have done to comply with their treaty obligations.
Related themes Civil Society Politics
Second, Kanwaljit Soin, a Nominated Member of Parliament and former AWARE President, put forward a Family Violence Bill that called for the criminalisation of domestic violence and for concrete policy measures to address the issue.
The Bill was ultimately defeated, but many of its provisions were subsequently captured in a landmark amendment to the Women’s Charter in 1996. Placed under a broader framework of ‘family’ violence, these provisions expanded protections for victims by widening the definition of violence beyond spouses and children to other family members, and including emotional and psychological harm on top of physical harm. 4 Victims could also obtain Personal Protection Orders (PPO) from a newly established Family Court—anyone who disregards a PPO made against him or her can be arrested without warrant and charged in a criminal court. The Court could issue mandatory counselling for both victims and perpetrators, and penalties were also increased—a fine and imprisonment up to six months for a first offence doubles for a second offence. 5
Anamah Tan, a founding member of the SAWL and former President of SCWO, feels the law put a much-needed focus on enforcement: “Enforcement is one area that Singapore does right—the PPO and the mandatory counselling, for example, helped make sure perpetrators got the message.” 6
While activists cautiously applauded this development, many felt the amendments did not go far enough. For example, forced or non-consensual sex between husband and wife, known as marital rape, was not considered an offence—an indication of persistent gender-biased attitudes, and the all-important preservation of the family unit. 7

“Imagine how terrifying it is to believe your abuser is not allowed near you, and then have him show up on your doorstep.” — Rachel Chung​

Rachel Chung, an activist and domestic violence survivor, pointed to the PPO process as inadequate: “It is really difficult to get a PPO, because your abuser has to agree to it. This makes it almost impossible for many victims to get one. Furthermore, an abuser could get a PPO for six to eight weeks, but then he gets it lifted ‘for good behaviour’ after just two weeks! Imagine how terrifying it is to believe your abuser is not allowed near you, and then have him show up on your doorstep.” 8
With major changes in the legislative arena, policy changes followed suit. The government embarked on a multi-disciplinary and integrated framework called the ‘Many Helping Hands’ approach, which involved regular collaboration between government agencies, community and service organisations, and families.
The framework included a National Family Violence Networking System to link the police, the hospitals,the social service sector, the Courts and the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports (now called the Ministry of Social and Family Development) to provide an island-wide network of support access points for victims. It also set up a Family Violence Dialogue Group that connected the Police Force with various government agencies to examine policy provisions and services for families affected by violence. 9

Regular review of their procedures has helped significantly improve police management of family violence cases, especially in terms of the process of assisting victims, de-escalating violence, and referring victims to medical and other social services. New guidelines were established, for instance, that require Investigation Officers to give notice to victims or social workers on the release of perpetrators from police custody prior to their release, which helps to give victims more time to make safety plans if necessary. 10
Activists continued to work against this backdrop of legal and policy change. They aimed to change public consciousness about the nature of violence on the one hand, and to improve direct social services for victims on the other. For example, AWARE set up a helpline in 1991 to offer support to women in distress. In 1999, the SCWO set up the Star Shelter, the first secular women’s shelter in Singapore, while in the same year, the first family violence specialist centre—Promoting Alternatives to Violence(PAVE)—was established to work with both victims and perpetrators of violence. PAVE’s wide range of services include counselling and casework interventions, preventive programmes for families, legal advice, application for PPOs (through video conferencing), medical services, and support groups for victims, perpetrators and families affected by violence.
Family violence community service centres in Singapore
Family violence community service centres in Singapore
These are services available in Singapore for those in need of assistance.
Family Service Centres (FSCs)
There are 43 FSCs in Singapore. To reach the nearest one, dial the ComCare hotline at 1800 222 0000.
Family Violence Specialist Centres

• Promoting Alternatives to Violence (PAVE)
• TRANS SAFE Centre
• Care Corner Project StART

Crisis Shelters
There are 4 crisis shelters in Singapore. Their locations cannot be disclosed to protect the safety of violence survivors.

• Singapore Anglican Community Services Family Care Center
• Good Shepherd Center
• Star Shelter
• Casa Raudha Women’s Home

Related themes Family
A broadening view of violence
The 2000s saw a shift from the focus on domestic violence and sexual assault to other forms of violence against women, such as trafficking, abuse of migrant domestic workers, and workplace sexual harassment. Civil society organisations once again stepped up their advocacy with both the government and the general public to urge for better protections for women.
Changes to the legal climate have been impressive. In 2007, provisions in the penal code were revised to penalise marital rape—charges can now be filed, provided the spouses are living apart, proceedings for divorce or separation are in progress, and a PPO is in force against the perpetrator.
In 2011, Section 157(d) of the Evidence Act was repealed, in effect no longer allowing for evidence of a victim’s “immoral character” to be used during trial to question their credibility. Other amendments to the penal code addressed labour and sex trafficking in persons—changes criminalised commercial sex exploitation of anyone under 18 regardless of consent, and child sex tourism committed by Singaporeans abroad. Training was also provided to the police to help them better identify potential trafficking victims.
AWARE embarked on research on workplace sexual harassment in 2008 which found that more than 50 per cent of respondents to a randomised survey said they had experienced harassment at work. 11 The organisation followed up with another report in 2012, highlighting the inadequacies of the current system in protecting employees and supporting victims.
Their advocacy contributed to the Harassment Act passed in 2014. Cyberbullying and stalking are now covered under the law, and victims can seek protection orders against harassers. However, the law doesnot include penalties for employers.
Anti-trafficking efforts were also strengthened in 2014 with the passing of the Prevention Against Human Trafficking Bill Act that provides a concrete definition of trafficking, and empowers enforcement agencies with the necessary powers to investigate and prosecute trafficking activities. A year later, Singapore acceded to the UN protocol against trafficking in persons.
But critics argue that the 2014 legislation falls short when it comes to comprehensive support for victims. Jolovan Wham, executive director of the Humanitarian Organisation for Migration Economics (HOME), decries the lack of comprehensive victim protections, as well as the lack of guarantees that victims will not be prosecuted for offences inadvertently committed while in a trafficked or forced labour situation. “The victim is not guaranteed the right to work,” he said in an email interview for this feature. “Key indicators of trafficking, such as deception and forced labour are not defined, which makes us concerned that victims will not be identified.”
He points to the inadequate support system that is currently in place: “There are few dedicated shelters for victims of violence and free counselling services for migrants who experience trauma is limited. Medical services are not free and they have little means to support their families while they are assisting the authorities in investigations.” 12
Shifting attitudes, albeit too slowly
Although they acknowledge improvements in policy and legislation, many advocates feel that the scale of the problem has not sufficiently diminished. Singaporean society has not progressed in tandem with policy changes, especially in terms of attitudes that continue to tolerate violence and discriminationagainst women, and cast traditional ideas of ‘morality’ on women’s behaviour.

“When you say 'gender inequality' or 'violence against women' here, most people go, "Where got?" That's a problem,” said Kokila Annamalai, who runs the We Can! campaign​

“Victim-blaming is a huge problem, and it comes from so many different groups,” said Rachel Chung. 13 “Your family, your friends, social media, random people you come into contact with – there’s always anassumption that the victim did something to provoke the abuse. People still ask me for instance, why I took so long to leave my husband, or why I married him in the first place, without knowing anything about the circumstances... [T]his is the main reason why women are not coming forward. Not only are they afraid to speak up because of the stigma, but they also begin to believe what their abusers are saying—that it’s their fault—especially when their self-esteem is already so low.”

The Singapore edition of Slutwalk launched in 2011.

The We Can! initiative by AWARE aims to end all gender-based violence through community involvement programmes.
Since the 2000s, a lot more advocacy by the women’s movement has gone beyond basic awareness-raising towards education and the changing of mindsets. Among them is a growing number of young women who are making themselves heard both on social media and in public campaigns such as No to Rape, SlutWalk Singapore and We Can! End All Violence Against Women, the local chapter of a global movement.
“When you say 'gender inequality’ or 'violence against women' here, most people go, "Where got?" That's a problem,” said Kokila Annamalai, who runs the WeCan! campaign. 14 She added that inequality and violence are "hidden in plain sight” because of a refusal by society and the state to discuss gender and sexuality in schools, at the workplace, and in parliament.
Her desire to get involved comes from both indignation over inequalities and injustices that continue in Singaporean society—including those that lead to violence against women—and a belief in the possibility of change. “I care because I can’t accept present realities that confront women and other marginalised groups; and because I believe in the power of individual and collective action to bring change.”
“Abuse can be found in every society,” said Jolovan Wham, “but what is critical is what the state and the community does when it happens. In this respect, we still have a long way to go."