What a freaking load of contradicting bullshit.....
As long as one has a dick, in modern times, you compete to get what you want, and that includes women you want to fuck. All your bullshit rationalizations are for your own delusional self-pity, that's all, but it will not change the fact that women look for security and men look for beauty. What you see happening when couples married are most possibly second or third choices, because if given perfect situations, the best man wins and money can buy beauty, so wake up and smell the coffee, loser.