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Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine
- Thread starter yinyang
- Start date
- Blonde: What does IDK stand for?
Brunette: I don’t know
Blonde: Why doesn’t anyone know! - Why can't a blonde dial 911? She can't find the eleven.
- How come it takes so long to build a blonde snowman? Because you have to hollow out the head.
- What did the blonde say when she saw the Cheerios box? "Omg, donut seeds!"
- Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, 'It’s dark in here isn’t it?' The other replied, 'I don’t know; I can’t see.'
- What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it? A thought.
- Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? Because it said 'concentrate'.
- Why did the blonde scale the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.
- Why were there bullet holes in the mirror? A blonde tried killing herself.
- How did the blonde die while raking leaves? She fell out of the tree.
- Two blondes are facing each other across a wide stream.
One yells to the other, 'How do you get to the other side?'
The other blonde replies, 'You are on the other side!' - How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
- How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? Shine a flashlight in her ears.
- How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to go to the corner.
- Why did the blonde put water on her computer? To wash the Windows.
- What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? Pregnant.
- A blonde crashed a helicopter. A police officer asked her what happened. She says, It got cold so I turned off the fan.
- How do you keep a blonde busy for hours? Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
- How can you tell when a brunette is actually a blonde who dyes her hair? When she trips over the cordless phone.
- What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? I wonder if it's mine.
- A man walks by a blonde, who is holding a pig. The man asks, "Where did you get her?" The pig answers, "I won her at the fair."
---JC---
- Three blondes girls were walking in the woods and came upon tracks. The first one said, "Look, it's deer tracks." The second one said, "No, it's wolf tracks" and before the third one could answer, they got hit by a train.
- What's a blondes idea of safe sex? Lock the car doors.
- What do you call a really smart blonde? A golden retriever.
- What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common? You keep hearing about them, but never see any.
- What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? "Oh look! Donut seeds!"
- How did the blonde die drinking milk? The cow fell on her.
- What do a blonde and a beer bottle have in common? They're both empty from the neck up.
- What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.
- Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks? It takes too long to retrain them.
- I got a compliment on my driving today said a blonde to her friend. There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
---JC---
Birds and Bees
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?”
The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.”
The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.”
The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?”
The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.”
The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.”
The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”
Of Boobs and Willies
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?”
The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.”
“Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.”
This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?”
The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.”
“A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?”
The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.”
“Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.”
This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?”
The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.”
“A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”
Iran Protests
DARA Jam
Since last Saturday, there are more than 100 cities in Iran protesting the increase in the price of gasoline.
The regime reacted strongly. There are currently 12 dead and networks, internet and sometimes even the phone are cut.
All the media are forbidden to speak about the demonstrations.
DARA Jam
Since last Saturday, there are more than 100 cities in Iran protesting the increase in the price of gasoline.
The regime reacted strongly. There are currently 12 dead and networks, internet and sometimes even the phone are cut.
All the media are forbidden to speak about the demonstrations.
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