Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine

[yinyang]

The condom and pharmacist

Peter goes into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist.
"Hello, could you give me condom? I'm going to my girlfriend's place for dinner and I think I may be in with a chance!"

The pharmacist gives him the condom and as peter was going out he returns and says,"Give me another condom because my girlfriend's sister is very cute too. She always crosses her legs in a provocative manner when she sees me and I think I might strike a luck there too."

The pharmacist gives him a second condom and as Peter was leaving again he turns back and says "Give me one more condom because my girlfriend's mum is still pretty cute and when she sees me she always makes eye contact and since she invited me for dinner I think she is expecting me to make a move.

During dinner, Peter sat with his girlfriend on d left, the sister on his right and the mum facing him. When the Dad walks in, Peter lowers his head and starts the dinner prayer."Dear Lord, bless this dinner and thank you for all u've given us".
Ten minutes after, peter was still praying "Thank you Lord for your kindness. ...."

Ten minutes go by, and peter is still praying, keeping his head down, very close to the table. They all looked at each other surprised, and his girlfriend was even more surprised than others. She gets close to him and whispered, "I didn't know you were so religious." Peter with his head still on the table replies, "I never knew your dad was the pharmacist!"

 

[yinyang]

Purple unicorn? o_O

 

[yinyang]

New Weinstein logo

 

[yinyang]

Catalonia escape

 

[yinyang]

Sam's seen hard at work at Manhattan?

 

[yinyang]

Fair justice?

A man was brought before the judge and charged with NECROPHILIA.. (having sex with a dead person).

The judge told him, "In 20 years on the bench, I've never heard such a disgusting, immoral thing.

Just give me one good reason why I shouldn't lock you up and throw away the jail keys in the toilet?"

The man replied, "I'll give you THREE good reasons:

1. It's none of your damn business;
2. She was my wife; and...
3. I didn't KNOW she was dead, she ALWAYS acted that way!"

The case was dismissed and the judge announced the following warnings:

For the ladies::
PLEASE TRY TO MOVE A LITTLE DURING THE ACT.

For the guys:
IF THERE IS NOT MUCH MOVEMENT, STOP IMMEDIATELY AND CHECK IF SHE IS ALIVE ....!!!

Case dismissed!

 

[yinyang]

Lusty surprise?

A man is watching a game of golf on TV. But he keeps switching
channels to a dirty movie featuring a lusty couple having raucous sex.

"I don't know whether to watch them or the game", he says to his wife.

"For Heaven's sake, watch them," his wife says.

"You already know how to play golf."

—

After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man, on the woman's nightstand by the bed.
He begins to worry.

'Is this your husband?' he nervously asks.
'No, silly,' she replies, snuggling up to him.

'Your boyfriend, then?' he continues.
'No, not at all,' she says, nibbling away at his ear.

'Is it your dad or your brother?' he inquires, hoping to be reassured.
'No, no, no! You are so hot when you're jealous!' she answers.

'Well, who in the hell is he, then?' he demands.
She whispers in his ear
'That's me before the surgery.' ...

 

[yinyang]

 

[yinyang]

 

[Wayne Piew]

 

[yinyang]

GHOST SEX...

A professor at the University was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies.

To get a feel for his audience, he asks, 'How many people here believe in ghosts?'

About 90 students raise their hands.

Well, that's a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?'

About 40 students raise their hands.

That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?'

About 15 students raise their hand.

Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?'

Three students raise their hands.

That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further...Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?'

Way in the back, a young Arab student raises his hand.

The professor takes off his glasses and says 'Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost.

You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience.'

The Arab student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium.

When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, 'So, dear, tell us what it's like to have sex with a
ghost?'

The student replied, "Wallah Habibi, from back there I thought you said "Goats."

 

[yinyang]

Real war story of a burglar's near escape ....but kena caught as he was jerking off to female occupant :p

Hat Yai thief arrested after delaying his escape

Breaking News November 04, 2017 14:24
By The Nation

An alleged burglar was arrested in Hat Yai early on Saturday apparently because, instead of fleeing the scene, he remained to pleasure himself while looking at the room’s sleeping female occupant.

The woman who lives in the rented room of an apartment building on Soi 2 of Hat Yai Municipality said she woke up to find the suspect, Ray Himawal, 39, masturbating on the balcony.

She shouted for help, and Ray tried to flee by jumping from one balcony to another but was eventually captured by other tenants in the building.

It was found that the suspect had already ransacked the woman's room. He had also broken into several other rooms earlier and stolen cash and valuables.

Police found Bt15,000 in cash and some gold ornaments on the suspect, who was also wearing three diamond and gold rings.

Police checked CCTV footage in the neighbourhood and found that the man had also broken into several houses.

 

[yinyang]

Elections now in Sicily

 

[yinyang]

100 years after revolution (and advent of digital's)

 

[yinyang]

Who's polluting, with electric cars? Think again on who's the dirty human

 

[yinyang]

Spontaneous freedom

 

[yinyang]

T's asian tour

 

[yinyang]

Saint Oil?

 

[Wayne Piew]

 

[Wayne Piew]