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Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine
- Thread starter yinyang
- Start date
Bangkok is a paradise during Songkran
April 13, 2017 16:25
By Photo and story by Kunlaphun Siripimamporn, Nation
Bangkok residents who decided to stay behind or those having to work holiday shifs in the capital city have the rare opportunity to see almost empty roads during this Songkran.
Phetchaburi Road's section near Pratunam Intersection, which would normally be congested with vehicles and pedestrians, now has fewer vehicles and people around.
April 13, 2017 16:25
By Photo and story by Kunlaphun Siripimamporn, Nation
Bangkok residents who decided to stay behind or those having to work holiday shifs in the capital city have the rare opportunity to see almost empty roads during this Songkran.
Phetchaburi Road's section near Pratunam Intersection, which would normally be congested with vehicles and pedestrians, now has fewer vehicles and people around.
We are Flying United Airlines!
Nagging wife
A man and his NAGGING wife were on holiday in Jerusalem, when the wife suddenly died. The funeral company told the man that it would cost $45,000 to ship her home or $500 to bury her in Jerusalem.
The husband said, “Ship her home.”
Shocked, the undertaker asked, "But sir, why don’t you bury her in the Holy Land and save the
money?”
To which the husband replied, “A long time ago, a man was buried here and 3 days later, he rose from the dead…. I can't take THAT RISK!”
Happy and Blessed Easter
A man and his NAGGING wife were on holiday in Jerusalem, when the wife suddenly died. The funeral company told the man that it would cost $45,000 to ship her home or $500 to bury her in Jerusalem.
The husband said, “Ship her home.”
Shocked, the undertaker asked, "But sir, why don’t you bury her in the Holy Land and save the
money?”
To which the husband replied, “A long time ago, a man was buried here and 3 days later, he rose from the dead…. I can't take THAT RISK!”
Happy and Blessed Easter
Bert's New Golf Shoes
Bert is 85 years old and always wanted a pair of soft spike golf shoes like Fred Couples wore on his tour.
So, seeing a pair on sale after his round, he bought them.
He was so delighted with his purchase, he decided to wear them home to show the Mrs.
Walking proudly into the house, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"
Margaret at age 83, looked him over and replied, "Nope."
Frustrated as all get out, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and
walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the new golf shoes.
Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW?"
Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan response, "Bert, what's different?
It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."
Furious, Bert yells out, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?"
"Nope. Not a clue", she replied.
“IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW GOLF SHOES!”
Without missing a beat old Margaret replies, "You shoulda bought a new hat!"
Bert is 85 years old and always wanted a pair of soft spike golf shoes like Fred Couples wore on his tour.
So, seeing a pair on sale after his round, he bought them.
He was so delighted with his purchase, he decided to wear them home to show the Mrs.
Walking proudly into the house, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"
Margaret at age 83, looked him over and replied, "Nope."
Frustrated as all get out, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and
walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the new golf shoes.
Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW?"
Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan response, "Bert, what's different?
It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."
Furious, Bert yells out, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?"
"Nope. Not a clue", she replied.
“IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW GOLF SHOES!”
Without missing a beat old Margaret replies, "You shoulda bought a new hat!"
*Killer speech by Zimbabwe President Robert Mugabe:*
"Racism will never end as long as white cars are still using black tyres.
Racism will never end if people still use black to symbolise bad luck and white for peace.
Racism will never end if people still wear white clothes to weddings and black clothes to funerals.
Racism will never end as long as those who don't pay their bills are blacklisted not white listed.
Even when playing snooker, you haven't won until you've sunk the black ball, and the white ball must remain on the table!
I don't care, as long as I'm still using white toilet paper to wipe my black ass, I'm happy."_
"Racism will never end as long as white cars are still using black tyres.
Racism will never end if people still use black to symbolise bad luck and white for peace.
Racism will never end if people still wear white clothes to weddings and black clothes to funerals.
Racism will never end as long as those who don't pay their bills are blacklisted not white listed.
Even when playing snooker, you haven't won until you've sunk the black ball, and the white ball must remain on the table!
I don't care, as long as I'm still using white toilet paper to wipe my black ass, I'm happy."_
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