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Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine
- Thread starter yinyang
- Start date
Breaking News..........Aug 13 2016 - Latest swimming doping test results for Joseph Schooling - he was found to have traces of ........... Sambal belachan! Phelps asking him where to buy!!
2nd test was a stinker ....traces of durian, with a foul fart of smelliest order. Turn off for Rio blokes, besides alien to this doggone fruit
What do women really want??
Herein lies the answer......
(To men) Please take time to ponder.
(To women) Just enjoy the story.
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring kingdom.
The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.
The question was:
*What do women really want?*
Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man. And to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men, and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.
Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but first he would have to agree to her price.
The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table, and Arthur's closest friend. Young Arthur was horrified.
She was hunch-backed and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc.
He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden.
But Lancelot, having learnt of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life. And the reservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered.
Arthur's question thus:
"What do woman really wants?"
She said, "A woman wants to be in charge of her own life."
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth, and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was. The neighbouring monarch granted Arthur his freedom. And Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.
The honeymoon hour approached and, Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him.
The most beautiful woman he had ever seen was sitting by the bed.
The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth become her horrible and deformed self only half the time, and be the beautiful maiden the other half.
"Which would you prefer?" She asked him. "BEUATIFUL during the DAY... OR at NIGHT?"
Lancelot pondered the predicament.
During the day, he could have a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch!
OR,
would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day? But by night a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous moments with?
(If you are a man reading this) What would YOUR choice be?
(If you are a woman reading this) What would YOUR MAN'S choice be?
And Lancelot's choice is given below...
BUT, please make YOUR choice first before you scroll down below!
OKAY?
Knowing the answer the witch gave to Arthur for his question, Sir Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time, because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
So, be careful how you treat a woman and always remember - she want control over her life.....
IT IS EITHER "HER WAY" OR IT IS "NO WAY"!!!
Hehehehe......
Herein lies the answer......
(To men) Please take time to ponder.
(To women) Just enjoy the story.
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring kingdom.
The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.
The question was:
*What do women really want?*
Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man. And to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men, and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.
Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but first he would have to agree to her price.
The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table, and Arthur's closest friend. Young Arthur was horrified.
She was hunch-backed and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc.
He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden.
But Lancelot, having learnt of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life. And the reservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered.
Arthur's question thus:
"What do woman really wants?"
She said, "A woman wants to be in charge of her own life."
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth, and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was. The neighbouring monarch granted Arthur his freedom. And Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.
The honeymoon hour approached and, Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him.
The most beautiful woman he had ever seen was sitting by the bed.
The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth become her horrible and deformed self only half the time, and be the beautiful maiden the other half.
"Which would you prefer?" She asked him. "BEUATIFUL during the DAY... OR at NIGHT?"
Lancelot pondered the predicament.
During the day, he could have a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch!
OR,
would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day? But by night a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous moments with?
(If you are a man reading this) What would YOUR choice be?
(If you are a woman reading this) What would YOUR MAN'S choice be?
And Lancelot's choice is given below...
BUT, please make YOUR choice first before you scroll down below!
OKAY?
Knowing the answer the witch gave to Arthur for his question, Sir Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time, because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
So, be careful how you treat a woman and always remember - she want control over her life.....
IT IS EITHER "HER WAY" OR IT IS "NO WAY"!!!
Hehehehe......
On Schooling's roots, the debate goes on :p
Everyone now wants to claim credit on Schooling's Olympic gold medal.
The Americans say he was trained there.
Malaysians say his mum is from Ipoh.
But the best part comes from the Philippines. They say he is brought up by his Filipino maid."
Everyone now wants to claim credit on Schooling's Olympic gold medal.
The Americans say he was trained there.
Malaysians say his mum is from Ipoh.
But the best part comes from the Philippines. They say he is brought up by his Filipino maid."
Once upon a time ..a small boy named Kimchibai lived in a tiny Korean village. All his classmates hated him for his stupidity especially his teacher who was always yelling at him "you are driving me crazy Kimchibai"...
One day his mother went to check out how he is doing at school and the teacher told her honestly that her son is simply a disaster, getting very low marks and never had she seen such a dumb boy in her whole career...
The mother could not accept such a feed back and she took her son out from that school. she even shifted to another city ...
25 years later, that teacher got a cardio disorder and all the doctors have advised her to go for an open heart operation which only one surgeon could perform..
Left with no other choice she did it and the surgery was successful ...when she opened her eyes, she saw a handsome doctor smiling to her, being under anesthesia effect, she wanted to thank him but could not talk, in turn, he was staring at her face which started turning blue, she was raising her hand trying to tell him some thing but in vain and eventually died...
The doctor was shocked and was trying to understand what just happened, till he turned back and saw our friend Kimchibai working as a cleaner in that hospital who unplugged the ventilator to connect his vacuum cleaner......
If you were thinking that Kimchibai became a doctor, its because you have been watching too many Korean movies, serials or have read too many motivational foward messages...
One day his mother went to check out how he is doing at school and the teacher told her honestly that her son is simply a disaster, getting very low marks and never had she seen such a dumb boy in her whole career...
The mother could not accept such a feed back and she took her son out from that school. she even shifted to another city ...
25 years later, that teacher got a cardio disorder and all the doctors have advised her to go for an open heart operation which only one surgeon could perform..
Left with no other choice she did it and the surgery was successful ...when she opened her eyes, she saw a handsome doctor smiling to her, being under anesthesia effect, she wanted to thank him but could not talk, in turn, he was staring at her face which started turning blue, she was raising her hand trying to tell him some thing but in vain and eventually died...
The doctor was shocked and was trying to understand what just happened, till he turned back and saw our friend Kimchibai working as a cleaner in that hospital who unplugged the ventilator to connect his vacuum cleaner......
If you were thinking that Kimchibai became a doctor, its because you have been watching too many Korean movies, serials or have read too many motivational foward messages...
Vasectomy?
Two men are in the doctor's office waiting to get vasectomies.
A nurse comes in and asks the men to strip and put on their medical gowns while they wait for the Doctor.
A few minutes later she comes back, reaches under one man's gown and begins to masturbate him.
Shocked, he asks, "What the hell are you doing?
To which she replies, "We have to vacate the sperm from your system to have a clean procedure."
Not wanting to cause a problem, the man relaxes and enjoys it as she completes her task.
The second man watches all of this and by the time the nurse turns to him, he is quite ready for his turn.
To his surprise, she drops to her knees, opens her lips and begins to give him a blow job.
The first man, surprised too, asks, "Hey, what is this? Why is it that I get a hand job and he gets a blow job?"
The nurse says, "That, my dear sir, is the difference between public care and private insurance....(such as Allianz, AIA , Prudential,....)"
Two men are in the doctor's office waiting to get vasectomies.
A nurse comes in and asks the men to strip and put on their medical gowns while they wait for the Doctor.
A few minutes later she comes back, reaches under one man's gown and begins to masturbate him.
Shocked, he asks, "What the hell are you doing?
To which she replies, "We have to vacate the sperm from your system to have a clean procedure."
Not wanting to cause a problem, the man relaxes and enjoys it as she completes her task.
The second man watches all of this and by the time the nurse turns to him, he is quite ready for his turn.
To his surprise, she drops to her knees, opens her lips and begins to give him a blow job.
The first man, surprised too, asks, "Hey, what is this? Why is it that I get a hand job and he gets a blow job?"
The nurse says, "That, my dear sir, is the difference between public care and private insurance....(such as Allianz, AIA , Prudential,....)"
How Lee Chong Wei got his Datuk title.
Lee Chong Wei when he first started out, used to lose to Chinese player most of the time. Rosmah was worried and took him to see her most entrusted Bomoh.
After some diagnosis he told Rosmah the problem lies with his initial LCW which means Let China Win. So to address the problem the quick thinking Rosmah got him the title Datuk. So that his initial now becomes DLCW. Don't let China win. And the rest is history.
Lee Chong Wei when he first started out, used to lose to Chinese player most of the time. Rosmah was worried and took him to see her most entrusted Bomoh.
After some diagnosis he told Rosmah the problem lies with his initial LCW which means Let China Win. So to address the problem the quick thinking Rosmah got him the title Datuk. So that his initial now becomes DLCW. Don't let China win. And the rest is history.
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