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Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine
- Thread starter yinyang
- Start date
LTA new trains?
LTA wanted to buy new trains. They went to China to source thinking they should be cheaper there. They found one n ask the manufacturer, 'What would happen ifthe trains are faulty?'
The manufacturer quietly pointed to the only sign in English that read,
'GUARANTEE NO SPOIL'.
Feeling assured, they bought the trains. Now the trains gv problem. LTA quickly returned to the manufacturer and asked for a refund or an exchange. When the manufacturer refused to give either, LTA pointed to the sign assuring a guarantee.
The manufacturer then said, 'Brother, you are in China. We read from the right to the left.
LTA wanted to buy new trains. They went to China to source thinking they should be cheaper there. They found one n ask the manufacturer, 'What would happen ifthe trains are faulty?'
The manufacturer quietly pointed to the only sign in English that read,
'GUARANTEE NO SPOIL'.
Feeling assured, they bought the trains. Now the trains gv problem. LTA quickly returned to the manufacturer and asked for a refund or an exchange. When the manufacturer refused to give either, LTA pointed to the sign assuring a guarantee.
The manufacturer then said, 'Brother, you are in China. We read from the right to the left.
I saw my mate Charlie this morning, he's only got one arm bless him.
I shouted. “Where you off to Charlie”? He said.
“I'm off to change a light bulb”.
Well, I just cracked up, couldn't stop laughing.
I said. “That's gonna be a bit awkward aint it”?
“Not really”, He said.
“I still have the receipt, you insensitive bastard ''
I shouted. “Where you off to Charlie”? He said.
“I'm off to change a light bulb”.
Well, I just cracked up, couldn't stop laughing.
I said. “That's gonna be a bit awkward aint it”?
“Not really”, He said.
“I still have the receipt, you insensitive bastard ''
Dog named 'Sex'
Folks generally aren't very creative in choosing names for their dogs.
That's why there are so many named Rover and Spot.
But, have you heard the plight of the fellow who thought he'd be cute and named his
dog Sex?
It goes like this:
"One day Sex and I took a walk and he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for that dog. A policeman came by and asked what I was doing in this alley at midnight? I told him I was looking for Sex.
My case comes up next Tuesday."
"But, that ain't the worst part....
One day, I went to the town hall to get a dog license for Sex.
The clerk asked me what I wanted. I told him I wanted a license for Sex.
He said, 'I'd like to have one, too.'
Then, I said, 'You don't understand. She's a dog.'
He said he didn't care how she looked.
When I told him I'd had Sex since I was 5, he said, “You must have been an early bloomer."
"When I decided to get married, I told the minister I wanted to have Sex at the wedding. He told me I'd have to wait until after the wedding. When I protested that Sex had played a big part in my life and that my whole life revolved around Sex, he said he didn't want to hear about my personal life."
"After my wife and I were married, I took the dog with us on the honeymoon. When I checked into the hotel, I told the clerk I wanted a room for my wife and wanted one for Sex.
She said. 'Every room in the hotel was for sex.'
I said, 'You don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night.'
The clerk said, 'Me, too.' "
"When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. When I told the Judge I had Sex before I was married, he grinned and said, “ Me. too."
"Now that I've been thrown in jail, married, divorced and had more trouble with that dog than I ever imagined, I'm in counseling. My psychiatrist asked me what my problem was. I said 'Sex has died and left my life... . It's like losing a best friend and I'm so lonely,' I told him.
He said, “Look, you and I both know that sex isn't man's best friend. Get yourself a dog."
Folks generally aren't very creative in choosing names for their dogs.
That's why there are so many named Rover and Spot.
But, have you heard the plight of the fellow who thought he'd be cute and named his
It goes like this:
"One day Sex and I took a walk and he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for that dog. A policeman came by and asked what I was doing in this alley at midnight? I told him I was looking for Sex.
My case comes up next Tuesday."
"But, that ain't the worst part....
One day, I went to the town hall to get a dog license for Sex.
The clerk asked me what I wanted. I told him I wanted a license for Sex.
He said, 'I'd like to have one, too.'
Then, I said, 'You don't understand. She's a dog.'
He said he didn't care how she looked.
When I told him I'd had Sex since I was 5, he said, “You must have been an early bloomer."
"When I decided to get married, I told the minister I wanted to have Sex at the wedding. He told me I'd have to wait until after the wedding. When I protested that Sex had played a big part in my life and that my whole life revolved around Sex, he said he didn't want to hear about my personal life."
"After my wife and I were married, I took the dog with us on the honeymoon. When I checked into the hotel, I told the clerk I wanted a room for my wife and wanted one for Sex.
She said. 'Every room in the hotel was for sex.'
I said, 'You don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night.'
The clerk said, 'Me, too.' "
"When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. When I told the Judge I had Sex before I was married, he grinned and said, “ Me. too."
"Now that I've been thrown in jail, married, divorced and had more trouble with that dog than I ever imagined, I'm in counseling. My psychiatrist asked me what my problem was. I said 'Sex has died and left my life... . It's like losing a best friend and I'm so lonely,' I told him.
He said, “Look, you and I both know that sex isn't man's best friend. Get yourself a dog."
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