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Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine
- Thread starter yinyang
- Start date
Lawyers?!
A lawyer & wife were always fighting with each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night.The woman would shout - 'When I die, I will dig my way up, out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life..'
Neighbours feared her and the woman liked the fact that she was feared..
To everyone's relief, she died of a heart attack when she was 58. Her husband had a closed casket at the wake..
After the burial, lawyer went straight to the local bar and began to party, as if there was no tomorrow. His neighbours, concerned for his safety, asked - 'Aren't you afraid that she may indeed be able to dig her way up and out of the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life??'
The lawyer put down his drink and said - 'Let her dig. I had her buried upside down..'
These lawyers.. I tell you... They think of everything..
A lawyer & wife were always fighting with each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night.The woman would shout - 'When I die, I will dig my way up, out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life..'
Neighbours feared her and the woman liked the fact that she was feared..
To everyone's relief, she died of a heart attack when she was 58. Her husband had a closed casket at the wake..
After the burial, lawyer went straight to the local bar and began to party, as if there was no tomorrow. His neighbours, concerned for his safety, asked - 'Aren't you afraid that she may indeed be able to dig her way up and out of the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life??'
The lawyer put down his drink and said - 'Let her dig. I had her buried upside down..'
These lawyers.. I tell you... They think of everything..
Guess who?
Can u judge who is the better person out of these 3 ?
Mr A - He had friendship with bad politicians, consults astrologers, two wives, chain smoker, drinks eight to 10 times a day.
Mr B - He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps till noon, used opium in college & drinks whiskey every evening.
Mr C - He is a decorated war hero,a vegetarian, doesn't smoke , doesn't drink and never cheated on his wife.
You would want Mr.C right?
But..
Mr. A was Franklin Roosevelt!
Mr. B was Winston Churchill!!
Mr C Was ADOLF HITLER!!!
Strange but true..
Its risky to judge anyone by his habits !
Character is a complex phenomenon.
Can u judge who is the better person out of these 3 ?
Mr A - He had friendship with bad politicians, consults astrologers, two wives, chain smoker, drinks eight to 10 times a day.
Mr B - He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps till noon, used opium in college & drinks whiskey every evening.
Mr C - He is a decorated war hero,a vegetarian, doesn't smoke , doesn't drink and never cheated on his wife.
You would want Mr.C right?
But..
Mr. A was Franklin Roosevelt!
Mr. B was Winston Churchill!!
Mr C Was ADOLF HITLER!!!
Strange but true..
Its risky to judge anyone by his habits !
Character is a complex phenomenon.
Research
Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two years and cost over 1.2 million pounds.
The study concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the man with more pleasure during sex.
After the results were published, France decided to conduct their own study on the same subject. They were convinced that the results of the British study were incorrect. After three years of research at a cost of in excess of 2 million Euros, the French researchers concluded that the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more pleasure during sex.
When the results of the French study were released, Australia decided to conduct their own study. The Aussies didn't really trust British or French studies. So, after nearly three hours of intensive research and a cost of right around 75 dollars (three cases of beer), the Aussie study was complete. They concluded that the reason the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent your hand from flying off and hitting you in the forehead.
Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two years and cost over 1.2 million pounds.
The study concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the man with more pleasure during sex.
After the results were published, France decided to conduct their own study on the same subject. They were convinced that the results of the British study were incorrect. After three years of research at a cost of in excess of 2 million Euros, the French researchers concluded that the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more pleasure during sex.
When the results of the French study were released, Australia decided to conduct their own study. The Aussies didn't really trust British or French studies. So, after nearly three hours of intensive research and a cost of right around 75 dollars (three cases of beer), the Aussie study was complete. They concluded that the reason the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent your hand from flying off and hitting you in the forehead.
Media & Ass
A King enrolled his donkey in a race & won.
Local paper read:
'KING's ASS WON'
The king was so upset with this kind
of publicity that he gave the donkey
to the queen.
The local paper then read:
"QUEEN HAS THE BEST ASS IN
TOWN"
The king fainted....
Queen sold the donkey to a farmer
for Rs100
Next day paper read: "QUEEN SELLS
HER ASS FOR Rs100"
The queen fainted...
The next day king ordered the queen
to buy back the donkey and leave it
in jungle.
The Next Headlines:
"QUEEN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS
FREE & WILD"
The king died... !!
A King enrolled his donkey in a race & won.
Local paper read:
'KING's ASS WON'
The king was so upset with this kind
of publicity that he gave the donkey
to the queen.
The local paper then read:
"QUEEN HAS THE BEST ASS IN
TOWN"
The king fainted....
Queen sold the donkey to a farmer
for Rs100
Next day paper read: "QUEEN SELLS
HER ASS FOR Rs100"
The queen fainted...
The next day king ordered the queen
to buy back the donkey and leave it
in jungle.
The Next Headlines:
"QUEEN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS
FREE & WILD"
The king died... !!
Drunks in taxi
3 drunk guys entered a taxi.
The taxi driver knew that they were drunk
so he started the engine & turned it off again.
He told them.... "We have reached".
The 1st guy gave him money
& the 2nd guy said "thank you".
The 3rd guy gave the driver a slap.
The driver was shocked,
thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did.
he asked "whats that for?".
The 3rd guy replied:
" next time drive slowly "
3 drunk guys entered a taxi.
The taxi driver knew that they were drunk
so he started the engine & turned it off again.
He told them.... "We have reached".
The 1st guy gave him money
& the 2nd guy said "thank you".
The 3rd guy gave the driver a slap.
The driver was shocked,
thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did.
he asked "whats that for?".
The 3rd guy replied:
" next time drive slowly "
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