Lee kuan yew die and went to Hell

[†††††]

In hell, lee kuan yew keep pestering satan to release him, everyday, he will plead and plead with satan in the meet-the-ghost session, which satan writes an appeal to the hell appeal dept. And everyday, the hell appeal dept will send a letter to lee kuan yew with the following message

"Thank you for writing in, however we regrets to inform you that your appeal has been rejected

yours sincerely

horse face
"

 

[coolguy]

When Lee Kuan Yew finally arrived in hell, he woke up and realised he does not have a mouth. He furiously gestered and hand signalled to the King of Hades for an explanation.
To this, The king replied.
"Lee Kuan Yew, as the head of a state, you did not observe the code of mouth conduct. Instead you use your evil tongue to cause distress and mistrust among the great nations.
As a result, World War 3 erupted and billions of billions of lives are lost. Therefore as a punishment, you shall
forever be born without a mouth till the end of the universe.
You shall now eat and drink with your asshole.
And since you like to fart so much, I have placed your ears and nose at the entrance of your asshole so that you can enjoy your smelly fart you have so loudly proclaimed to the whole world.:oIo:

 

[†††††]

When Lee Kuan Yew finally arrived in hell, he woke up and realised he does not have a mouth. He furiously gestered and hand signalled to the King of Hades for an explanation.
To this, The king replied.
"Lee Kuan Yew, as the head of a state, you did not observe the code of mouth conduct. Instead you use your evil tongue to cause distress and mistrust among the great nations.
As a result, World War 3 erupted and billions of billions of lives are lost. Therefore as a punishment, you shall
forever be born without a mouth till the end of the universe.
You shall now eat and drink with your asshole.
And since you like to fart so much, I have placed your ears and nose at the entrance of your asshole so that you can enjoy your smelly fart you have so loudly proclaimed to the whole world.:oIo:

laugh until stomach pain

 

[csjcsjcsj]

Lee kuan yew die and went to Hell
In hell, he meet Satan, Satan gave him two choices to wear lingering and let him screw everynight or to be burn in 18 level hell.

Lee kuan yew whisper into Satan ear and the next day satan released Lee kuan Yew to heaven. After one year in heaven, many angels migrated to Hell, Satan welcome them with open arms and said "To many ERP in heaven?"

CCB! I tot that old CB Dog can bring FT immigrants only into Pee Sai, but actually he even imported FT to hell huh? KNN CCB!
:oIo:

 

[†††††]

after 400 years in hell, lee kuan yew was finally promoted to Bull head assistant, he was very happy and every pap ghosts congratulate him. The next day, he requested to be demoted to 18 level hell, the King of Hades asked him why? He replied "I dun want to clean bullshits"

 

[†††††]

during recession in hell, lee kuan yew got a job as a maid for a former geylang prostitute, everyday he watch the prostitute masturbate herself in the living room, thinking he has hit jackpot, he offers to help her relieve herself. just as he was about to insert his penis, he notice a sentence outside the virginal, "die of AIDS and Herpes"

 

[†††††]

one day lee kuan yew was jogging in hell, Mah beh tan asked him, "boss, why jogging?", taking a breath, lew kuan yew replied, "keep fit for the coming reincarnation exercise la". Puzzled, mah asked again, "but that 800 years later"

 

[†††††]

after returning back to his cave in hell, lee found kwa naked on the stone bed, he ask kwa, why are you naked? didn't you know many tiko 鬼 around." Pointing to her cheebye, Kwa say "i'm trying to plug out this hair here, very itchy". Curiously Lee move over and say, "Let me try", and he gave a big pull, but the hair remain intact. Refusing to admit defeat, lee scream in hokkien "Ban Ka Li chu liao" and he pull with all his strength, "pop" the hair came off. Feeling satisfy, lee turn around and saw a nake Bengali crawling out under the bed

 

[†††††]

It got crowded in hell so, for one day and one day only, it was decided to only accept ghost who had really bad day on the day they died.

Satan was standing at the Hades gates and said to the LKY, "Tell me about the day you died." LKY said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all over the apartment but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went out onto the balcony, we live on the 5th floor, and found MBT hanging over the edge by his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. The strain of the act gave me a heart attack, of which I died from."

Satan couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the LKY in. He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. "Well, sir, it was awful," said the second man. "I was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 6th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but LKY came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer. Luckily I landed in some bushes. But, then the maniac dropped a refrigerator on me!"

Satan chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job. "Tell me about the day you died?” he said to the third man, Nathan in line. "OK, picture this; I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator...."

 

[jimmyfallon]

Lee kuan yew die and went to Hell
In hell, he meet Satan, Satan gave him two choices to wear lingering and let him screw everynight or to be burn in 18 level hell.

Lee kuan yew whisper into Satan ear and the next day satan released Lee kuan Yew to heaven. After one year in heaven, many angels migrated to Hell, Satan welcome them with open arms and said "To many ERP in heaven?"

 

[jimmyfallon]

It got crowded in hell so, for one day and one day only, it was decided to only accept ghost who had really bad day on the day they died.

Satan was standing at the Hades gates and said to the LKY, "Tell me about the day you died." LKY said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all over the apartment but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went out onto the balcony, we live on the 5th floor, and found MBT hanging over the edge by his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. The strain of the act gave me a heart attack, of which I died from."

Satan couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the LKY in. He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. "Well, sir, it was awful," said the second man. "I was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 6th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but LKY came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer. Luckily I landed in some bushes. But, then the maniac dropped a refrigerator on me!"

Satan chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job. "Tell me about the day you died?” he said to the third man, Nathan in line. "OK, picture this; I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator...."

 

[youth123]

Nah! Here one An Neh one for you!:p:p:p

omfg, i'd like to fuck her!

 

[Faidenk]

LKY and Mahathir finally decide to reconcile their differences and met in a orchestrated press meeting. They shook hands and hugged. One of the reporters asked,'Tun Dr. Mahathir, do you consider Mr Lee your friend or your brother now that the 2 of you have reconcile?'

To which, Mahathir proclaimed, 'Mr Lee is my brother'.

Many months later due to some caustic remarks made, the good relationship cooled. Mahathir was asked again by reporters whether he still consider MM lee his brother. Mahathir replied coolly, 'Yes, he is still my brother, because you can choose your friends'.

 

[no_faith]

wat happen when anwar, lky and jess.alba are in the same bedroom?

anwar will ask jess.alba to hold down lky for him.

 

[da dick]

if there was a x'tian -like hell and lee ky jelly went to it, satan will instantly lock him up forever for his own protection. i would like to think that satan is smart enough to never trust a politician who is also a lawyer.

 

[coolguy]

Lee Kuan Yew, who just joined Hell, get to meet Satan quickly in lieu of his status in the human world.
He told satan : " I am unofficially the richest man in the whole world. For I have full control of my country which is the most open economy in the world. And my corporation have vast investment in almost every part of the world. You can check my bank account and my assets for verification.
Now I demand to live in the Biggest and Grandest palace in Hell.
Let me know how much. I can afford it."
To this Satan replied:" Ah, you may be the richest man on earth.
But your riches is worthless in hell here.
The place you rule is like a peesai on earth. I have to wear my glasses to find it. According to my law book, each ruler is assigned to a home in hell where the size is equivalent to that of which he ruled on earth.
With retrospect, the peesai which you ruled on earth can only get you a Pigeon Hole in Hell to live in."

 

[eatshitndie]

just as the first 2 great apes of sg had passed, so would the last great ape of sg...

his soul arrives in heaven and is met by a saint at the entrance.

"welcome to heaven," says the saint. "before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. we seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"no problem, just let me in," says the man.

"well, i'd like to, but i have orders from higher up. what we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"really, i've made up my mind. i want to be in heaven," says the minister mentor.

"i'm sorry, but we have our rules."

and with that, the saint escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. the doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. in the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

everyone is very happy and all are dressed up. they run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.

they play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. they are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises...

the elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where the saint is waiting for him.

"now it's time to visit heaven."

24 hours pass with the minister mentor joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. they have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and the saint returns.

"well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. now choose your eternity."

the minister mentor reflects for a minute, then he answers: "well, i would never have said it before, i mean heaven has been delightful, but i think i would be better off in hell."

so the saint escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.

he sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

the devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.

"i don't understand," stammers the minister mentor. "yesterday i was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. now here's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. what happened?"

the devil looks at him, smiles and says, "yesterday we were campaigning... today you voted."

 

[jacobsgoh]

Lee Kuan Yew, who just joined Hell, get to meet Satan quickly in lieu of his status in the human world.
He told satan : " I am unofficially the richest man in the whole world. For I have full control of my country which is the most open economy in the world. And my corporation have vast investment in almost every part of the world. You can check my bank account and my assets for verification.
Now I demand to live in the Biggest and Grandest palace in Hell.
Let me know how much. I can afford it."
To this Satan replied:" Ah, you may be the richest man on earth.
But your riches is worthless in hell here.
The place you rule is like a peesai on earth. I have to wear my glasses to find it. According to my law book, each ruler is assigned to a home in hell where the size is equivalent to that of which he ruled on earth.
With retrospect, the peesai which you ruled on earth can only get you a Pigeon Hole in Hell to live in."

and its on lease !!!!

 

[jacobsgoh]

fuckup lky trying to make his Hell days more comfy; before elections in Hell, he gingerly went up to Mr. Satan and tried and teach Mr. Satan how to corrupt the voters with free gifts, Mr. Satan told him off that, in Hell its the other way round, the voters has to give freebies to be allowed to vote.
lky thinks its good idea, he contacted his next of kin[4th generation lee ruling Leeapore] that its time to stop giving freebies and change to rules of voting and make more progress with benefits.

 

[GoldenDragon]

just as the first 2 great apes of sg had passed, so would the last great ape of sg...

his soul arrives in heaven and is met by a saint at the entrance.

"welcome to heaven," says the saint. "before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. we seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"no problem, just let me in," says the man.

"well, i'd like to, but i have orders from higher up. what we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"really, i've made up my mind. i want to be in heaven," says the minister mentor.

"i'm sorry, but we have our rules."

and with that, the saint escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. the doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. in the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

everyone is very happy and all are dressed up. they run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.

they play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. they are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises...

the elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where the saint is waiting for him.

"now it's time to visit heaven."

24 hours pass with the minister mentor joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. they have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and the saint returns.

"well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. now choose your eternity."

the minister mentor reflects for a minute, then he answers: "well, i would never have said it before, i mean heaven has been delightful, but i think i would be better off in hell."

so the saint escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.

he sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

the devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.

"i don't understand," stammers the minister mentor. "yesterday i was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. now here's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. what happened?"

the devil looks at him, smiles and says, "yesterday we were campaigning... today you voted."

Excellent! You must tell MM to eat shit and die.