Lee kuan yew die and went to Hell

[†††††]

On LKY 50th birthday. He got up and go downstairs for breakfast, hoping Kwa would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for him. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday."

LHL came trampling down the stairs to breakfast, ate his breakfast, and didn't say a word to him. So he made it out of the house and started for work and felt pretty dumpy and despondent.

As he walked into his office, his secretary Aunty said, "Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!" He felt a bit better knowing that at least someone remembered. About one o'clock, Aunty knocked on his door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your Birthday, why don't we go out for lunch, just you and me." he said, "Thanks, Aunty , that's the best thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"

They went to lunch but not where they normally go. Instead Aunty took him to a quiet bistro with a private table. They had a couple of mixed drinks and he enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Aunty said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't have to go right back to the office, do we?" he replied with "I suppose not. What do you have in mind?" Aunty said, "Let's go to my apartment, it's just around the corner."

After arriving at her apartment, Aunty turned to him and said, "Boss if you don't mind, I'm goinna to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back." "Ok." he nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake...

Followed by Kwa, LHL, LHY, and dozens of the ministers, and staffs, all singing "Happy Birthday".

And LKY just sat there...

On the couch...

Naked.

 

[coolguy]

Earlier on in my story, it is revealed that Lee Kuan Yew lost his mouth in hell due to his evil tongue causing World War 3 to erupt on earth.
Now a new exercise called "The 2nd judgement day" has just been approved in hell whereby remorseful soul are given a 2nd chance to make their life less sufferable in hell.
Lee Kuan Yew through a special appeal was given the chance to have a mouth.
He woke up the next day and touch his face.
Yes. He has his mouth back!
The happy stricken Lee went to the mirror.
To his horror, he realised it is not his mouth.
It is the mouth of a duck!!
To be more precise, it look exactly like the mouth of daffy duck, a Looney Tunes cartoon character created by Warner Bros.
Tearful and furious, Lee Kuan Yew curse and swear at Hades and Hell.
But what comes out of his mouth are not human words but the following.
DAFT, DAFT, DAFT, DAFT........:oIo:

 

[†††††]

LKY and WKS got stuck at Sri Lanka airport bec of engine trouble.

LKY asked WKS, "What are we gonna do now?"

WKS replies, "Well, how much money have you got?"

They both rummage through their pockets, emptying some change.

LKY says, "We can't do much with $4. Maybe we should just wait until the engine is done?"

WKS , excited, replies, "Nah! Let's go buy a box of tampons!"

"Tampons? What are we gonna do with tampons?"

"Haven't you seen those TV commercials? With tampons we can run, and hike and swim, even go dancing. We need some tampons!"

 

[†††††]

MBT walks into PAP lounge and asks for 13 margaritas. The bartender abruptly replies, "Wow sir, that sure is a lot, whats the occasion?"

MBT sits down on a stool, hangs his head and tells the curious bartender, "Well, my first blow job." The bartender smiles and replies, "Yea, that's a splendid occasion indeed. Let me get you one more drink, on the house!"

"Nah," MBT replies... "If thirteen doesn't get the taste out, nothing will."