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In step

Some Biblically-Based Resources for News and Current Events​


These days, we’re continually bombarded by “news” (which is sometimes more sensational than informative) that dwells on the sufferings, tragedies, and negatives of life. This unceasing avalanche of bad news, as well as rampant political tribalism, suspicion, and critical opinions, can quickly bury what Scripture calls “the good news of happiness” (Isaiah 52:7) and “good news of great joy” (Luke 2:10).

My wife Nanci wrote in her journal, “Please, Lord, whenever my heart leans toward anxiety and dread, bring me back into a Holy Spirit-led season of praise and thanks to You—the giver of all good things!”

Nanci wrote that while facing her cancer, but her wise words can be applied to current events, too. We shouldn’t feed ourselves primarily on news headlines, but on the good news of gospel truth.

Yet I don’t favor living in a cave, blissfully ignorant of the world’s woes and the suffering and difficulties around us. Rather, we’re to focus our thoughts on true eternal realities. Remembering God’s presence, praying, and feeding our minds with good things that honor our King—these practices will increase our joy while starving our anxiety.


That means when we do read the news, it’s important we analyze current events from a biblical perspective, always remembering what Scripture has to say. One source I highly recommend that does that is The Remnant, which is sent out three times a week by email. I think it is a very helpful, biblically-based, discerning, and concise summary of vital things going on in the world.

For example, in response to the recent headline “North Korea and Russia Teaming Up?” they wrote:

Sadly, wars and alliances between evil actors are possible on this side of the Fall (Romans 8:22). Thankfully, this is temporary. They’re only possible on this side of the New Heavens and New Earth (Revelation 22:3). There is an expiration date on evil, and only God knows when that date will arrive (Romans 16:20).

Jesus told us that we would hear of “wars and rumors of wars” in these last days but instructed us not to be alarmed, declaring that “such things must happen, but the end is still to come” (Matthew 24:6).

“Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God” (Psalm 20:7). An antidote to our worry is to take our eyes off of the happenings in the world and fix our eyes on the Lord. He is in control (Psalm 103:19), and He is good (Psalm 145:9).

God is the one who will ultimately settle disputes between nations (Isaiah 2:4). One day, there won’t be any more wars, for the former things will have passed away (Revelation 21:4). Continue to pray for peace and for Christ to come back quickly (Philippians 3:20).

Kathy Norquist, a board member at our ministry, recommends The Pour Over, which is also an email list that sends out Christian responses to news headlines. They describe it as: “The biggest news of the day, summarized in a way you’ll actually understand and enjoy, paired with brief Christian perspectives.”

If you enjoy listening instead of reading, The World and Everything In it is a daily podcast from WORLD Newsgroup with headlines, field reporting, interviews, and expert analysis. And Al Mohler, president of The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, has a podcast called The Briefing, which provides a daily analysis of news and events from a Christian worldview.
 

Gratitude in Play: 3 Practices From Ecclesiastes 3​


Irish playwright and critic George Bernard Shaw once said, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” This thought-provoking quote reminds us of the power of play—something we often neglect as adults. I know from my own experiences, that most of us don’t prioritize play in our lives, viewing it as the work and learning pattern of children.

However, I believe that play is not just essential for children, but for all of us. Sure, play can be taken to excess, leading to laziness, but for most of us, the problem isn’t too much play—it’s far too little. In fact, when we embrace gratitude in play, we reconnect with a vital part of life that brings joy, rest, and a renewed sense of purpose. I believe play leads to gratitude, and gratitude to a more content life. This blog post, the final in my Four Walls of Gratitude series, explores the role of play in our lives and how gratitude in play can serve as a pathway to deeper well-being.



This blog series has explored the importance of incorporating gratitude into our work, worship, and daily lives. Now, we turn our attention to the role of gratitude in play. As a blogger focused on living a life shaped by the principles of 1 Thessalonians 4:11, I believe that play—and the gratitude it fosters—can help us lead a quiet life marked by intentionality, balance, and purpose, guiding us through the chaos of the world with renewed peace and clarity.

The Problem of Play​

Did you take time to play this week? Many of us likely told our kids or grandkids to go outside and play for a while, or maybe to head to their rooms to play—perhaps because they were being too loud or feeling bored. After all, playing is what kids are supposed to do. But what about us? We might sit down to read for a bit or watch television, yet we’d probably feel lazy if we allowed ourselves to simply play. There are always tasks to finish, projects to manage, rooms to clean, budgets to wrestle, and thoughts to sort through. The idea of taking time to play might feel both childish and like a waste of time.

At the start of this blog, I posted the quote from George Bernard Shaw, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” While play is often seen as the work and learning pattern of children, it’s not just for them—it’s vital for all of us. Sure, play can be taken to excess, leading to laziness, but for most of us, the problem isn’t too much play—it’s far too little.

We often long to recapture the playful, carefree spirit of childhood. So, what holds us back? More often than not, it’s the routines, habits, and lack of intentionality that keep us from prioritizing play in our lives. Perhaps we feel bad about playing when work is to be done.

Science shows that play helps us become more social, creative, prepared, and fully alive. It enables learning, emotional healing, and even helps us practice gratitude. I came across another thought-provoking quote from Dennis Waitley that reminds us “Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn, or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.” Happiness is a spiritual experience that happens when we learn to live every moment with gratitude. Gratitude and play are deeply connected. Play and gratitude are interconnected as both invite us to be present, embrace joy, and celebrate life’s gifts. Through play, we cultivate a sense of wonder and appreciation, making space for gratitude to flourish.

The value of play in the scriptures.​

There aren’t specific stories that fully address play. However, there are plenty of verses that speak to the values of play recreation throughout both the Old and New Testaments. For example, Zechariah writes about God’s promise of peace and restoration, describing a city where “boys and girls are playing in the streets” (Zechariah 8:5). Similarly, in Psalm 104, the psalmist celebrates how God has blessed humanity with wine to gladden the heart, to bring about playfulness, and describes the Leviathan frolicking in the ocean, or as a creature at play in its natural environment.

Constantly working on tasks and our careers depletes us, it takes life and energy from us, but it is play that re-energizes us and lightens our hearts and makes our days more bearable. As Proverbs 17:22 reminds us, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” Taking time to laugh, smile, and play is essential for our well-being. Perhaps when Jesus told his disciples, “Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:3), he had more in mind than just childlike faith—perhaps he might also have been encouraging childlike play. In Scripture, play often leads to joy and a renewed sense of peace, reflecting the harmony God intends for creation and humanity’s purpose.

Isaiah captures this vision of joyful restoration in Isaiah 55:12: “You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.” Here, nature itself is depicted as participating in playful celebration, a reflection of God’s restoration and creativity. The trees are clapping their hands, extoling playfulness is in the mountains and hills, and a sense of driving happiness and joy is pulling us forward.

Play, then, is not just an activity; it emerges from gratitude, and it is a pathway to experiencing gratitude, joy, and a fuller life. Though we often hesitate to prioritize play when there’s work to be done, God actually gave us a day specifically set apart to refrain from labor: the Sabbath. As Jewish scholar Pinchas Taylor explains, the Sabbath is “not primarily about physical rest. It is about entering a different state of mind and state of being that transcends the weekdays.”

In this way, Sabbath is the act of play and gratitude. Taylor also notes that Sabbath is “a time to actively engage in higher matters, to enjoy time with family and friends without worldly distractions.” Sabbath is a time to be re-created and re-aligned. While many of the Jewish faith may approach the Sabbath differently, I believe that play and acts of recreation are vital Sabbath practices. Play and gratitude help us connect with God in a way that restores and renews us. Play re-creates us, allowing us to experience the joy and rest God intended, and we give into gratitude as a result.

Play is not a frivolous or childish activity; it is also a gift from God uses to cultivate joy, creativity, rest, and community. Whether through sports, games, laughter, music, or creative expression, play invites us to experience God’s grace in tangible and joyful ways. Gratitude not only changes how we engage with work, worship, and our surroundings but also influences how we rest, refuel, and rediscover joy in life. Play re-creates us, allowing us to experience the joy and rest God intended, and we give into gratitude as a result.

Play re-creates us, allowing us to experience the joy and rest God intended, and we give into gratitude as a result.

It’s all meaningless so play.​

I invite you to reflect with me on Ecclesiastes 3. This book is often known for stating that everything is “meaningless” and for declaring that there’s “nothing new under the sun.” However, today, I encourage you to see it not as depressing, but as a thoughtful call to focus on what truly matters in life.

The first verse (Ecclesiastes 3:1) tells us, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” The Teacher goes on to describe many activities we engage in—both in our work and in our lives. So, after reflecting on the search for contentment (Chapters 1 & 2 ) in all the various pursuits of life, the Teacher affirms that every activity has its God-given, eternal purpose. Work has purpose. Schooling has purpose. Yet, play is also one of those activities. There is, and always will be, time for play but also purpose.

In verse 9-10, the Teacher reflects, “What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race.” For the Teacher, work carries a weight—it wears us down and can become a burden- it drains us. Then, in verse 11, the Teacher observes that all of us long for more out of life: “He has also set eternity in the human heart.” Everyone is on a search for meaning and purpose, and this too can feel tiring and burdensome – we are always looking and sojourning.

The resolve is what we must pay attention too. To address the depletion we experience in our busy lives—whether in seasons of work, activity, or our search for deeper meaning—the Teacher suggests a way of being: a way of play and gratitude in verses 3:12-13. The Teacher reflects, “I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God.” In this verse, the Teacher draws attention to how finding gratitude and happiness in the present (through a sense of play and recreation) helps us to find God’s blessing behind every moment. The Teacher suggests that play is a gift of God—a gift that invites us into deeper joy and purpose. As we rest in the satisfaction of what we’ve done, we also make room for gratitude in all that’s yet to come.

Scholar H. L. Ginsberg sees the writer of Ecclesiastes as someone who believes everything – at least up to this point – is strictly predetermined and unchangeable. This rigid way of thinking, he suggests, makes it hard to find real meaning or enjoyment in life. You and I can get like that. We can say there is nothing new under the sun. We can say it is all the same stuff on a different day. Life feels like we work, sleep, and work again. However, in this chapter, the Teacher sees finding gratitude and happiness as a way of helping us to find real contentment, meaning, and enjoyment – breaking the unchangeable miserableness of life. The Teacher’s solution to the problem of life’s vanity is happiness and gratitude (finding satisfaction). Again, the Teacher suggests acts of play to re-create oneself. His point is that, play re-creates us, allowing us to experience the joy and rest God intended and we give into gratitude as a result.

Life is short and unpredictable, calling us to focus on what truly matters. It is good to “do good” for God and others. However, play is good too, because life’s struggles are universal and timeless, draining, but Ecclesiastes 3 reminds us that joy, gratitude, and recreation are not distractions but gifts from God to renew our spirits. Eugene Peterson captures this idea in The Message take on this passage, saying, “I’ve decided that there’s nothing better to do than go ahead and have a good time and get the most we can out of life. That’s it—eat, drink, and make the most of your job. It’s God’s gift.”

This passage emphasizes the importance of finding happiness in life’s rhythms, including work, worship, and play. Play and recreation, or “re-creation,” helps us restore life and meaning, experiencing God’s goodness in creation. By embracing joy, we honor God and strengthen ourselves for life’s toils. Happiness is a divine gift that draws us closer to the Creator.

A reminder in the New Testament​

The idea of playful contentment and joy in life’s rhythms, present in Ecclesiastes, is echoed in the New Testament, particularly in 1 Timothy 6:6-8, where Paul teaches that godliness with contentment is great gain. Paul echoes a message like that of the Techer in Ecclesiastes, saying, “But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.” Both 1 Timothy 6 and Ecclesiastes passages emphasize the beauty of contentment and joy in life’s simple rhythms. Contentment isn’t found in accumulating wealth but in appreciating God’s provision, such as life’s basic necessities – which is often found through restful play. Both passages highlight the connection between gratitude, play, and rejuvenated faith. Both reminds us that satisfaction in life’s essentials, is found in the playful activities such as in food and drink. Together, these teachings invite us to shift our focus from striving for more to embracing simplicity, resting in God’s blessings, and rediscovering joy through gratitude and play.

Three practices from Ecclesiastes 3​

John Wanamaker has said, “people who cannot find time for recreation are obliged sooner or later to find time for illness.” Thomas Jefferson apparently encouraged people to take the afternoon for exercise and recreation, which he said was as necessary as reading, because health is more than just learning about health. Recreation, an act of re-creating, is physical but also spiritual, it is a spiritual gift from God in this passage and so here are three practical practices from Ecclesiastes 3.

  1. Take time to play on purpose. Intentionally take time to play, practice what is life-giving and meaningful, honoring God by refreshing your body, mind, and spirit. This is about enjoying the goodness God created in the world. Jesus rested and enjoyed time with the disciples (Mark 6:31), and even the Creator rested after creation (Genesis 2:2-3). Reflect on activities that bring you joy and gratitude—whether it’s time in nature, creating art, playing a sport, or being with loved ones. This week, schedule intentional time for play that reminds you of God’s beauty and provision.
  2. Take time to play in community. Gratitude grows when shared with others, and play that builds relationships fosters shared joy. Early Christians found joy and gratitude in breaking bread and sharing life together (Acts 2:46-47), blessing their community through their fellowship. Who can you invite into your moments of play? This week, plan a simple gathering—a game night, hike, or shared meal—and reflect together on God’s blessings.

  3. Play in a way and place that finds gratitude. Play leads to gratitude, transforming ordinary moments of enjoyment into worship. Psalm 104 celebrates creation with joy, praising God’s wisdom and provision: “How many are your works, Lord! In wisdom you made them all” (Psalm 104:24). As you play, pause to notice and thank God for the beauty around you—whether it’s the laughter of friends, the colors of nature, or the joy of creating. This week, take a moment during your play to reflect on what you’re grateful for.

The medical benefits of play.​

Gratitude, as Harvard Medical School defines it, is recognizing and appreciating goodness in life that comes from outside oneself—and in this sense, gratitude is intertwined with play. Play allows us to enjoy the goodness of life, and gratitude emerges as we take time to engage in it. Research supports this connection: a 2011 study on adult playfulness found that play enhances creativity, fosters an appreciation for beauty, and brings excitement and energy to life. It also contributes to expressive love, hope, humor, and overall well-being.

A 2013 study further revealed that play counteracts stress, promotes physical health, and helps people reframe their lives. As a diabetic, I found a 2019 report particularly impactful, showing that Type 1 diabetics who engaged in play experienced improved moods, greater support, and deeper connections with others. Across these studies, play consistently enhances life satisfaction, which in turn nurtures gratitude by helping us recognize and appreciate what we have, shifting our perspective and fostering contentment in all areas of life. There are important health reasons to practice gratitude in play. Even more, there are spiritual reasons as well.

Final Thoughts​

Play is essential to living with a spirit of gratitude. It offers not only a way to rest, but also a way to reconnect with God’s creation and God’s joy. Gratitude leads us to notice the goodness of God at play in our world. Play offers healing, joy, and deep satisfaction, and it encourages us to embrace the fullness of life as we grow in our faith. How are you engaging in play this week? How might you cultivate moments of rest and joy with gratitude as you experience God’s blessings? This week, and next, reclaim moments of play in your life. Let gratitude shape them. Let joy fill them. And in doing so, you will find yourself re-created and restored.
 
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Which Type of Man Are You?
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. . . my God, in whom I trust—Psalm 91:2
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One type of Christian man trusts that what Jesus teaches is true . . . but only on an intellectual level. This man appreciates a good sermon, but then goes away and lives out the moments of his life in ways that make it indistinguishable from the lives of those who do not trust Jesus at all. This type of man doesn’t trust Jesus with his life, and so lives "like a shrub in the desert" (Jeremiah 17:6). There is another type of man, though, one who chooses to trust the truth of Jesus deeply, authentically, and practically. This type of man lives the moments of his life in ways that are markedly different than they’d be otherwise . . . because of his trust.

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
whose trust is the Lord.
He is like a tree planted by water,
that sends out its roots by the stream . . ."

(Jeremiah 17:7-8).


When we trust Jesus—when we actually live like we trust him—we then come to life. When we live like we trust him, we become spiritually strong and healthy and fruitful, like trees planted by the water, and we begin to move into the full lives that God dreamed about so long ago (John 10:10; Ephesians 1:3-6).
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Okay, so what do we do?

Which type of man are you? What are you doing in your life that distinguishes you as a follower of Jesus? What are you doing that you’d never do, but for your trust in Jesus? If your answer is "nothing" or "not much," then it’s time now, brother, to begin. Do something practical that demonstrates your trust. Whatever you do, it need not be clever or complex. Just use the two great commandments as your guide (Matthew 22:37-39) and do something . . . today.
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6 Tips to Rekindle Sexual Intimacy with Your Partner​


The most common complaint of couples that I work with today is that they have fallen out of love and the passion has dwindled between them. However, falling out of love usually does not occur overnight. Likewise, relationship repair takes time and effort on the part of both partners and includes rekindling sexual intimacy and emotional attunement. There are many ways for couples to fall back in love and ending a habit of criticizing each other is a good first step.


Stop Criticizing Each Other


Marisa, puts it like this: “Joshua is a good husband, but I’m just not in love with him anymore.” When Marisa drops this bombshell, Joshua responds, “We don’t have hot sex often – but our timing is just off. I was shocked when Marisa talked about splitting up recently.”

As Marisa, 32, and Joshua, 33, describe their typical pattern of relating during their twelve years of marriage, it amounts to Marisa seeking out Joshua for emotional and sexual intimacy and Jackson distancing. Joshua describes his withdrawal from Marisa as a habit. “It just feels hard to meet her needs so why bother? We used to be in sync but lately we’re distracted by our jobs and demands of our two kids.”

Renowned relationship expert Dr. John Gottman’s research on thousands of couples discovered that partners that get stuck in this pattern the first few years of marriage have more than a 80% chance of divorcing in the first four or five years of marriage. He posits that men have a tendency to withdraw and women to pursue. This pattern is wired into our physiology and reflects a basic gender difference. In his classic “Love Lab” observations, Dr. Gottman noted that this pattern is a major contributor to marital breakdown.


Nurture Emotional Intimacy

If Marisa and Joshua want to fall back in love again, they need to stop focusing on each other’s flaws and spend their energy fostering a deeper connection. In other words, stop assuming the worst of each other and put an end to demanding their partner change.

In over 40 years of research on couples in his “Love Lab” Dr. Gottman discovered that the two leading causes for divorce are criticism and contempt. In his book Why Marriages Succeed and Fail, he reminds us that criticizing our partner is different from offering a critique or voicing a complaint. The latter two are about specific issues, whereas the former is an attack on the person. For instance, a complaint is: “I want to be included in financial decisions. We agreed that you’d discuss big purchases with me.” In comparison, criticism might be: “You never consider my needs, you’re so selfish.”

Instead, couples who want to rekindle their passion and love need to “turn towards” each other. In The Science of Trust, Dr. Gottman explains that practicing emotional attunement can help you stay connected in spite of your differences. This means “turning toward” one another by showing empathy, and not being defensive. In other words, both partners need to talk about their feelings in terms of positive need, instead of what they do not need. The speaker is really saying. “Here’s what I feel, and what I need from you.”


How to Ignite Sexual Passion

During the early phase of a relationship, many couples barely come up for air due to the excitement of falling in love. Unfortunately, this blissful state does not last forever. Scientists have found that oxytocin (a bonding hormone) is released during the initial stage of infatuation – which causes couples to feel euphoric and turned on by physical affection – such as touching and holding hands. Oxytocin works like a drug, giving us immediate rewards and binding us to our lover.

The struggle between Marisa and Joshua is a common one for hard-working couples balancing jobs, parenting, and intimacy. Sex therapist Laurie Watson, author of Wanting Sex Again: How to Rediscover Your Desire and Heal a Sexless Marriage writes, “Most sexual concerns stem from an interpersonal struggle in the marriage.”

6 tips to ignite sexual intimacy and fall back in love:

  • Avoid Criticism: Make a plan to stop the “blame game.” Examining your own behavior will end the power struggle. Take responsibility for your own behavior and stop pointing your finger at your partner.
  • Break the pursuer-distancer pattern. Distancers need to practice initiating sex more often and pursuers need to find ways to tell their partner “you’re sexy,” while avoiding critique after sex. For example, the pursuer can try being shy and quietly seductive – perhaps encouraging the distancer to move toward him/her.
  • Boost time showing physical affection. According to Kory Floyd, physical contact releases feel good hormones. Holding hands, hugging, and touching releases oxytocin (the bonding hormone) causing a calming sensation. Studies show it’s released during sexual orgasm and affectionate touch as well. Physical affection also reduces stress hormones – lowering daily levels of the stress hormone cortisol. Dr. Michael Stysma recommends couples double the length of time they spend kissing, hugging, and touching each other if they want to improve their marriage.
  • Allow tension to build. Our brains experience more pleasure when the anticipation of the reward goes on for some time before we get the actual reward. So take your time, share fantasies, change locations, and make sex more romantic.
  • Variety is the spice of life: (gentle, loving-tender sex; intimate sex; highly erotic sex, etc.). Break up the routine and try new things as your sexual needs change.
  • Try a variety of activities that bring you both pleasure. Avoid discussing problems, household tasks, and your children if you want to bring back the sexual chemistry with your partner. Have fun courting and practice flirting with him or her. Don’t forget to cuddle on the couch and surprise your partner with a kiss.

Igniting sexual passion is possible if you make pleasurable activity a priority and not put it on the back burner. If you want to improve the quality of your marriage, according to experts, increase physical affection, stop criticizing each other, and make intimacy a priority. Even if you’re not a touchy-feely person, increasing affectionate touch can help you to sustain a deep, meaningful bond that will endure the test of time.
 
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Go Small to Go Big
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So then, as we have opportunity,
let us do good to everyone—Galatians 6:10


Once we’ve decided to do something, we men often like to “go big.” We think to ourselves: if we’re going to do this thing, let’s really do it. We can bring this kind of thinking, this “go big” mentality, to all kinds of work, even the work God calls us into—that is, the work of loving and serving others. Great things can result, of course. But the mentality can backfire, too—for example, when we set our ambitions too high, get overwhelmed, and can’t follow through. It’s interesting that, knowing us as he does, our King, Jesus Christ, suggests an opposite approach:

“This is a large work I’ve called you into, but don’t be overwhelmed by it. It’s best to start small. Give a cool cup of water to someone who is thirsty, for instance. The smallest act of giving or receiving makes you a true apprentice” (Matthew 10:40-42 MSG).​

Start small! Why does something rise up in our hearts, against that approach? Well, it’s mostly because by “going big” we hope to grab a little glory for ourselves. We want others to see us and think well of us. And if we don’t “go big,” they might not actually see our accomplishments. But, Jesus reassures us: “You won’t lose out on a thing” (Matthew 10:42 MSG). We must trust his words and trust that God the Holy Spirit can do amazing things within even our smallest, most ordinary acts of love and service. And that’s plenty big for any of us.
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Okay, so what do we do?

Look around, today and tomorrow, for people in need. People are hurting, people right around you. “Go to the lost, confused people right here in the neighborhood” (Matthew 10:5-8 MSG). Pick one person and blow them away with some help.
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4 Ways to Keep Romance Alive Even When You Feel Like You’re Dying​


I recently read an article that said childbirth is a bigger factor in divorce than infidelity.

You’re more likely to split up because you had a baby than because one of you cheated.

According to the Relationship Research Institute in Seattle, within three years of the birth of a child, about two-thirds of couples find the quality of their relationship declines.

Five years after the birth of a child, 13 percent of couples divorced.

What’s up?

You did all the work and​

You carried a baby for 40 weeks, you packed on 30 pounds, your tummy is now the shape of a deflated balloon and he wants to divorce you?

Are men just jerks and unable to relate to the changes women go through after childbirth?

Even when both parties are on board for babies, the article states, the reality of taking care of a newborn and raising children can sometimes lead to irreconcilable differences.

Raising a child definitely leads to differences. I’m not sure I’d call them irreconcilable.

Differences like:

Differences that are to be expected after the birth of a baby.

A baby complicates life.

It’s a huge change. And most women start showing up a little differently in the marriage.

More tired. More frustrated. Maybe even a little resentful because her husband isn’t experiencing the same emotional, physical and hormonal changes she is. Life for him appears to roll as normal.

Except that his wife is more focused on the baby than on him.

And she might seem less fun.

Many woman laser focus on the kids and take attention off the marriage, which can leave him feeling left out.

“They’re just jealous,” one mom in the article hypothesized. “They can’t stand the thought of someone else taking their wife’s attention.”

That may be partially true. And natural. If his attention was focused disproportionally on work or sports or on anything other than her, she’d feel a little left out, too.

Being a mom to littles is exhausting. Some days you feel like you may fall over at any minute, which doesn’t do much for intimacy.

But keeping the flame alive while the sparks are small (or mid-sided or teenagers), will pay off in the long run.

Keep your marriage strong and healthy by:

  1. Finding ways to make husband and wife time a priority. If things go as planned, you’ll be a wife much longer than you’ll be a mother to young children.
  2. Teaching your children to respect your time with your husband. Everyone wants happy well-adjusted kids, and they’ll be happy and well adjusted when they see that Dad and Mom are priority in each other’s lives.
  3. Carving out time to talk each week.
  4. Making time for yourself. You’re much happier when you’re rested and refreshed.
I suppose you could blame a divorce after childbirth on the child. If she hadn’t had the baby, the relationship wouldn’t have changed.

Having a baby doesn’t have to be the last nail in the coffin on your marriage.

While caring for a child may take most of your time, it does not have to dominate your universe. Find ways to stay connected and emotionally intimate and reduce the chances of childbirth leading to a split.
 

Releasing Your Spouse’s Potential​



Sin is the ultimate destroyer of relationships. Not only does it make people do stupid and irresponsible things, but it distracts us from our purpose, dilutes the bond God created in marriage, and causes untold damage to families.

But if we live out the Ephesians 5 model for marriage—if husbands love their wives as Christ loves the church (v. 25), and if wives submit to their husbands as they submit to the Lord (v. 22)—we begin to disable our basic sin natures.

In the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve did not commit the same sin. The way each sinned reveals to us the different sin natures of men and women.

Satan tempted Eve in the form of a serpent. God had told Adam and Eve they could eat of any tree in the garden except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. This particular tree was off-limits, but it made Eve curious. Satan tapped into this curiosity with lies.

“God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened,” the serpent told Eve, “and you will be like God, knowing good and evil” (Gen. 3:4). Eve ate the fruit. Then she convinced Adam to do the same. Both disobeyed God.

Though Adam was with Eve in the Garden, Eve never took the time to ask his opinion, nor did she wait to ask God about it. She made this monumental decision on her own—and it forever changed her relationship with both Adam and with God.


Eve’s sin was one of prideful independence. She wanted to be in charge and to know as much as God. That dynamic is still alive today. A woman’s basic sin nature is to usurp authority, to take the reins and put helself in charge—even when she knows it’s wrong.

That’s what got Eve in trouble in the Garden, and it’s what gets families in trouble today.

What about Adam? He was likely somewhere close to Eve as she decided to disobey, yet he didn’t make any attempt to stop her. Then, when she offered the fruit to him, he gave in without a fight. Submissively, he relinquished the responsibility God had given him.

Adam’s sin was one of passivity, and it’s one that still plagues men today. God has charged men to lead their homes, to provide, protect, and initiate. Men are tasked with guiding the family, overseeing their financial security, shepherding their kids, and nurturing their wives.

Men aren’t to dominate their wives and children, but should be steering them toward holiness and godly living. But too often, men become passive. They don’t embrace their leadership role. The sin of man is to let others take charge.

I’ve counseled many couples whose marriage problems began when they let this kind of role reversal into their homes. These sins feed off each other.


But when a man follows the Ephesians 5 model, he leads his family and loves them as he should. When a woman follows this model, she respects her husband’s authority, encourages and respects him, and doesn’t tempt him to give that role away.

When one member of the marriage obeys God’s plan for marriage, it helps the other. That’s how the Ephesians 5 model helps disable the sin nature.
 

Mary’s Magnificat: A Prophetic Hope for the Humbled​


As we enter the season of Advent, we embark on a journey of anticipation and preparation. Advent, derived from the Latin word adventus, meaning “coming,” is a time set aside to reflect on the Incarnation of Jesus. It grounds us in the awe and wonder of Christ’s coming, keeping us focused on the truths we hold dear. Without intentional practices, it’s easy to forget the deeper meanings behind the season. Advent is a reminder.

The Greek word for Advent, parousia, not only refers to the coming of the Messiah but also points to Christ’s second coming, reminding us that we live between these two monumental arrivals. Advent calls us to remember that Christ was promised to come, Jesus did come, and now we hold to the hope that Jesus will come again. During Advent, we reflect on how the promises of hope, peace, joy, and love are being fulfilled here and now as we eagerly await Jesus’ return. Interestingly, parousia was also used in a non-religious context to describe the visit of a high-ranking official to a subject state—an arrival marked by great expectation and preparation. This is a time to prepare with excitement and anticipation for the arrival of someone with authority who will bring change. Jesus came and changed things. Now, we live in the in-between, remembering the hope and promise of Jesus’ first coming and preparing our hearts and lives for Jesus’ return as King.


Four Weeks Looking at Mary’s Magnificat
This year, for Advent, I am blogging through Mary’s Magnificat, a prophetic song packed full of rich themes. Mary’s song is more than personal praise; it is a declaration of God’s enduring promise, revealing all God has planned through the words, ways, and works of Jesus. It’s a song of prophetic hope, especially for those who are often humbled and ignored. Mary’s Magnificat speaks directly to those who are overlooked and oppressed, as she exalts a God who lifts up the lowly and scatters the proud. This is not just her personal declaration of joy but a prophetic vision of the hope that God is with and for those who are humbled and ignored. It reminds us of the hope Mary clung to and the ongoing transformation God invites us into today.

The Lead a Quiet Life blog on Patheos explores simplicity, authenticity, and faithfulness, inspired by 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12. It encourages slowing down, rejecting excess, and embracing a quieter way of following Jesus. Mary’s Magnificat resonates deeply with this pursuit, as it magnifies God’s work through humility, simplicity, and trust. This prophetic song invites us to embrace a life focused on God’s presence and purposes, rather than the noise and excess of the world. In this post, we explore how Mary’s Magnificat prophetically declares the hope that God is for those in humility, those the world may overlook but whom God sees and cares for.

Listening to Mary’s Voice: A Wisdom We Can’t Ignore

Over the years, perhaps we’ve focused enough on the men in the story—there’s certainly no shortage of them. But we cannot overlook the significance of Mary. God chose her with intention and purpose. Mary comes to understand the prophetic hopes and promises in the scriptures in unique ways. As Evangelicals, we may have at times downplayed Mary’s role, perhaps out of concern that emphasizing her might seem too Catholic. In doing so, we’ve sometimes prioritized the masculine aspects of the story and overlooked the profound contributions of women, especially Mary. In this series, I hope to shift our focus to Mary’s pivotal role, allowing her prophetic proclamation and song to teach us, including a way of being that elevates those often humbled and ignored.

Mary’s Magnificat is not just a personal response or song—it is a gospel or declaration for the marginalized. It speaks of God’s favor for those overlooked by society. By lifting up the humble and scattering the proud, Mary’s song provides a prophetic vision that continues to challenge us today, especially in a world that often values power over humility, wealth over simplicity, and excess over sufficiency.

Mary’s Magnificat in Luke 1:39-56: A Vital Part of the Advent Narrative

Luke, known for his meticulous attention to detail, especially in his portrayal of Jesus’ coming, places Mary as an integral figure in the Advent narrative. The Gospel of Luke is often considered the Gospel that highlights women the most, and it includes several stories and perspectives that emphasize the voices and roles of women in the life and ministry of Jesus. As we reflect on Mary’s Magnificat, we are invited to become students of her faith, humility, and boldness—also her scriptural and prophetic understanding.

Mary’s Magnificat is a profound reminder that God sees those who are humble and ignored. It’s a song of liberation and hope for the oppressed, declaring that the Messiah has come to bring justice and transformation. This Advent, as we reflect on the hope of Jesus’ first coming, let us not forget the voices of those who have been sidelined. Let us listen to Mary’s voice as a reminder that God’s kingdom is a place where the humble are exalted, the hungry are filled, and the proud are scattered.

Reflections on the Context of Mary’s Magnificat

As I reflect on Luke 1:39-56, I first notice that Mary didn’t hesitate after receiving the news. She immediately set out and traveled to a town in the hill country of Judah, heading straight to Zechariah’s house to greet Elizabeth. We could learn a lot from her promptness and willingness to act. When Elizabeth hears Mary’s greeting (a Spirit-filled blessing of “Shalom”), the baby in her womb leaps, and Elizabeth, filled with the Holy Spirit as a result, expresses her joy.

Overcome with emotion, Mary responds by singing a beautiful song of praise that declares Mary’s new understanding of the prophetic promises and hope that is coming with and through Jesus. This song, known as the Magnificat, magnifies God and celebrates the hope, peace, joy, and love that are now coming into the world. Some scholars speculate that a later poet may have composed the song and attributed it to Mary, but I choose to take Luke at his word, that he investigated this and talked to Mary about it. During her three to five-day journey to Elizabeth, Mary would have reflected on the story of Hannah and many prophetic promises she grew up with, beginning to write or memorize her own inspired song to share the news and her new understandings.

In that moment with the angel, Mary began to see scripture and the messianic promises she had known in a new light. During her journey, she would have had ample time to reflect on how her understanding of the scriptures had deepened, knowing the world was changing with the fulfillment of these promises. Mary’s song, then, becomes an intentional liturgy or sermon that teaches us how to read the scriptures and prophetic promises through the lens of Jesus, especially those promises that resonate with the humbled and ignored.

Mary magnifies the Lord in this song, acknowledging God’s faithfulness in lifting up the humble and fulfilling the promises they had long hoped for. Her opening line, “My soul magnifies the Lord,” expresses both adoration and recognition of her role in God’s redemptive plan. Mary provides a model for how we are to live. Just as she was called to play a role in God’s story, we are also invited to bring hope, peace, joy, and love into our communities. Rather than lifting us from humility to power, God calls us to experience the Holy Spirit. This empowered way of living missionally sends us out as active participants in God’s work of reconciliation and restoration, especially in the places where we are rooted.

Mary’s Magnificat: More Than a Song, It’s Prophetic

It is more than a joyful song. It is a prophecy. Prophecy is the spirit of God speaking to us, through us, and with us in ways that are both forth-telling (challenging us) and foretelling (predicting what will come true). Later in the story, in Acts 2:17-21, Luke reminds us that the prophet Joel foretold that in the days of the Messiah, God would pour out the Holy Spirit on all people—men and women, old and young—so they could experience God’s Spirit equally, with visions and dreams. This is already being fulfilled in Mary’s journey. God has poured the Holy Spirit upon her, and now Mary is prophesying in the Spirit. This prophetic proclamation is meant to teach, fill us with promise, and serve as a powerful witness to the ways, words, and works of Jesus from this point on. These things matter not just for the time of the coming of the Messiah, but also for the time until Jesus comes again. Mary’s Magnificat is a prophetic hope for the humbled and ignored, a hope that continues to echo through the ages, reminding us that God’s kingdom belongs to those who are overlooked by the world but are seen and cherished by Him.

Reflections on the Hope of Mary’s Magnificat​

I want to emphasize how she highlights God’s faithfulness to the humble. In Luke 1:46-48, Mary praises God for recognizing her lowly state and lifting her up. She acknowledges that, as a simple servant, she has been chosen for something extraordinary, which is the work of God. The NET translation puts it this way: “And Mary said, ‘My soul exalts the Lord, and my spirit has begun to rejoice in God my Savior, because he has looked upon the humble state of his servant. For from now on all generations will call me blessed.’” Mary’s praise overflows because she recognizes that through this moment of Advent, God is lifting up the humble. God is coming for the poor and downtrodden, and in this, there is deep hope. The Advent story reminds us that through Jesus’ birth, life, ministry, death, and resurrection—God is restoring hope to the world.

Mary’s recognition of God’s favor is a declaration of hope not only for her but for all who are marginalized or overlooked. In a world that often values power, wealth, and status, her song reminds us that God sees and honors the humble. God lifts us up, but not in a way that moves us from humble beginnings to places of power, but rather in a way that calls us to live in our humble estate with a powerful hope. This should encourage us, especially in times when we may feel insignificant or ignored. Even in our downtrodden moments, hope is breaking in, and the world is being redefined. This hope is Jesus—the gospel, the goodness, and the promise that God still offers hope to us today.

In Mary’s song, the word “magnifies” conveys her continual praise and exaltation of the Lord, highlighting her deep and ongoing celebration of God. This exultation reflects the fullness of her joy in God’s faithfulness. When she says, “God my Savior,” Mary acknowledges her need for salvation, recognizing her humble state. The focus here is not on her, but on God’s deliverance. The phrase “humble state” speaks to her lowly position—not as humiliation, but as an expression of servanthood. God calls us to embrace our humility, to be present in quiet, unnoticed places. Mary’s recognition of God’s work through her challenges us to focus not on our own elevation, but on God’s redemption and the hope it brings to others. This passage invites us to reflect on our own humility, how we can find hope in God’s promises, and how that hope is meant to transform those around us.

Other Scriptures​

Hope for the Humble is a central theme in the New Testament, with Jesus emphasizing humility as a core value of the way of the Kingdom of God. In the Beatitudes, Jesus declares, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 5:3), and “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth” (Matthew 5:5). Jesus brings hope to the broken, grieving, and those weighed down by life. James, writing to marginalized churches, reminds us that God has chosen the poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom (James 2:5). Despite being overlooked by society, the humble are empowered by God to represent the Kingdom of God and to prophetically speak out against those the world deems powerful and important.

Paul also emphasizes this theme in 1 Corinthians 1:26-29, highlighting that God often chooses the weak and despised to shame the strong and nullify the things of this world. For those who feel rejected, Jesus’ kingdom offers the hope that we will not only experience abundant life but be used to proclaim God’s message even to the powerful. Mary’s voice in the Magnificat speaks of the hope that God is for the humble, the weak, and the despised.

This humility is not only the way of Jesus’ ministry but the way we are called to live. Jesus teaches that those who humble themselves will be exalted, while the proud will be humbled (Luke 14:11). The path to intimacy with Jesus and His greater works is through humility. Peter urges us to “humble ourselves under God’s mighty hand, so that he may lift you up in due time” (1 Peter 5:6). In humility, we find hope as God lifts us to serve others, not for our own glory, but for the sake of His kingdom. As Paul writes in Philippians 2:5-11, we are called to have the same mindset as Jesus—who, though equal with God, humbled Himself to serve others, offering hope to the world.

Three Takeaways from Mary’s Recognition of Her Humble State​

Allow me to suggest three takeaways from Mary’s recognition of her humble state and the hope she finds in God:

  1. Mary’s prophetic proclamation of hope—that God lifts up the humble—calls me upward. This Advent truth invites me to draw closer to God, embracing the reality that I am enough before Him. He delights in my humble state. From here, I overflow with hope, declaring that God lifts the humble and brings justice to the oppressed.
  2. Humility leads me inward, opening my heart to recognize my need for God’s grace and to practice disciplines that keep me humble. In the church, I am reminded that this is a place to serve others with compassion and love. The scriptures promise that in our humility, God draws close, guiding us and utilizing our surrender.
  3. Living out the hope found in humility leads me outward, embodying Jesus’ mission of hope to others in their humble place. I accept the humility I’m in, using it to reach out to the broken and oppressed. Who is in my gutter that needs to hear the truth that in humility, we find God and experience the hope He offers to those in this space?

Closing Thoughts​

In Luke 1:46-48, Mary expresses her hope in God’s faithfulness, recognizing God’s choice of her, a humble servant. This week, we focus on the hope of being humble servants that Advent brings—the belief that God is faithful to His promises, even in bleak times. Mary’s song declares that God sees and values the humble, but is also offering redemption for the world through the humble. Through her example, we find hope in God’s faithfulness, no matter how small or unnoticed we may feel. How can we, like Mary, find hope in God’s willingness to lift us up? How does the Advent season invite us to see God’s work in the small, unnoticed places of our lives? How does the humble birth of Jesus inspire us to bring hope to the lowly and oppressed? May we find the song of advent in our own lives, accepting our humility as a gift of God.
 

Praotes: Meekness not Weakness​


Meekness in the New Testament stems from the Greek word praotes.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness…
Galatians 5.22-23 (KJV)

praotes

Praotes can mean meekness, gentleness, and mildness.

It is often translated “gentleness” (NIV, NKJV, NASB).

Meekness is not weakness. Too often we get the mental picture of a mild mannered Clark Kent. It is not weakness. It is not the opposite of strength.

Praotes (meekness) is closely related to strength, strength that is disciplined, strength under control.

inward meekness​

Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
Matthew 11.29

This is one of the few times Jesus describes Himself.

He is “meek and lowly.”

Meekness is a character trait of God Himself.

We can’t become more like Him without becoming meeker.

outward meekness​

“It is a true humility that does not consider itself too good to do the humble tasks.”[1]

When something needs to be done, the one who is meek is the one who will “git’r done.”



Mat Kearney​

To watch on YouTube CLICK

“A meek person has a disciplined spirit. Potentially all spiritual blessings are available to this person.”[2]

Why do the meek receive blessings and favor?

It’s because the meek are not looking out for their own good, but for others.

God is looking for meek people to reward.

Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.
Matthew 5.5
 

Parenting Moment: Wrapped Presents & Our Child’s Gifting​

I smiled as I watched my son do his best to guess what a package contained. He shook it, noticing its sound. He took note of its size. He thought through everything that could possibly fit that description—or so he thought. I know he’ll be surprised when he unwraps the present and sees what is really inside.

Watching him unwrap that gift got me thinking about unwrapping the gifts God has given us in our children. Each one of them is designed for a purpose and gifted in different ways—yet sometimes the marvelous way they’re designed is buried under a lot of wrapping paper that makes their unique gifts hard to recognize.

As a child, I doggedly wanted my way, day after day, testing my mom’s patience with my strong will. That same strong will turned out to be a gift when yielded to God and serving Him, but I’m pretty sure it didn’t seem like a gift when I tried to flush her child training book down the toilet in an attempt to destroy it. My mom did a lot of hard training before my strong will could actually be a gift instead of a nuisance. I’m glad she looked not at who I was, but at who I could be.

I recently listened to a talk by Carol Barnier titled “Don’t Miss the Gift in This Child.” As you might guess from the title, she encouraged listeners to remember that our children are truly gifts from the Lord. I hope you’ll join me in making that title a prayer this Christmas season. As we see gifts around us, may we remember our children are gifts too and ask God for eyes to see the unique way He’s gifted them.
 
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Failure is on the Menu
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I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships,
persecutions, and calamities—2 Corinthians 12:10


We men are often just wrong about failure. It seems we’ve all decided that if we ever experience failure, we're then failures. It’s not true. Failure is integral to human life, the way God designed it. Look at Abraham, Jacob, Moses, David, Peter—all experienced failure, because they were mere humans. Mere humans fail every so often . . . and it’s good that we do.

Failure refines us. We mature through failures because we learn from them—much more than from successes. Through failures our character is formed (Romans 5:3-5). No man can become who he’s supposed to become without experiencing some failure in his life. Failure also fuels us . . . or, rather, the potential for failure. While we may not like failure, we like to face its potential. We like to be tested. It’s why we like competition. It’s why we like risk. It’s often the excitement of uncertain outcomes that drives us to learn from failures and improve, in the hope of avoiding more. But the potential for failure must be real. And when it is real, we will sometimes fail.


The danger, of course, is in getting stuck—in the shame of failures past or the fear of failures future, or maybe both. When we do, failure defeats us: we live dull lives, devoid of daring. But we need not get stuck. We can, instead, reject the shame of failure and learn to deal with it—by acknowledging fault; confessing and repenting (if sin was involved); facing any consequences; allowing God to teach us what we need to learn . . . and then moving on.
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Okay, so what do we do?

What are one or two big risks you’d like to take in the coming weeks and months? Write them down, commit to them, and tell some friends about them—so they can spur you on.
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Working or Watching?
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We must work . . . while it is day;
night is coming—John 9:4
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Ever feel like you’re spending way too much of life watching? I mean, what’s your personal watching-to-working ratio? And, by "working," I don’t mean work-work. I mean working on those specific things for which you were created—for example, those things mandated by the two great commandments (Matthew 22:37-39).

"For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them" (Ephesians 2:10).

Are you engaging in your good works? Or do you find that you're watching too many sermons about the Gospel, rather than living out the Gospel? Or watching too many movies and reading too many books about other people’s adventures, rather than living out the adventures God has for you? Or watching sports too much . . . watching others face their fears, face great odds, and push themselves beyond their supposed limits, rather than doing those things yourself? Don’t get me wrong, sermons, movies, books, and sports are good things. There’s nothing wrong with inspiration . . . but it’s got to be inspiration for something.

"Long before he laid down earth’s foundations, he had us in mind . . ." (Ephesians 1:4 MSG). When God dreamt about you so long ago, did he dream of you watching others live out their great stories, but not you? Of course not. Of course he dreamt of a great story for you too. Of course he has a story he cannot wait to share with you, right now.
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Okay, so what do we do?

Search your heart, brother. What’s going on in there? Is it rising? Falling? Is it light? Heavy? Stop, now, and pray to God that he lead you into your story . . . your ancient story. That’s a good prayer. That’s one, I think, to which he’ll likely respond. So, you might buckle up.
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3 Signs You’re Wrecking Your Marriage​


I was wrecking my marriage, and I didn’t even realize it.

Five years in and I was ready to give up.

I thought the problem was my husband. If he’d just “shape up,” we’d have a great marriage.

He didn’t want to spend time with me, and he didn’t seem interested in meeting my needs.

Here’s why.

Almost everything he did was met with my disapproval. I thought he’d changed. He wasn’t the guy I’d married.

In reality, I was the one who’d changed. I went from being loving and fun to being critical and cranky.

I went from thinking he was smart and funny to thinking he was irresponsible and immature.

Even though he was a military guy and was responsible for hundreds of soldiers, I thought he was careless.

If he feels like can’t do anything right, he may stop trying​

As our communication broke down, the whole relationship started to crumble.

I didn’t have skills to build intimacy or the wisdom to know my behavior was driving him away.

I didn’t see his behavior as a sign, I was pushing him away.

If you’re wrecking your marriage, the signs are usually there.

Your husband may be distant or defensive. He may make excuses so he doesn’t have to spend time with you.

Thankfully, I’ve learned a few things. I now have skills to communicate with him.

I now understand what he needs and how to get what I need. And my marriage is better because of it.

You can learn skills to have a better marriage, too.

Here are three behaviors that were wrecking my marriage. They may be ruining yours, too.

1. You try to control everything

I thought I should tell him how to do just about everything: drive, cook, clean. I told myself I was “helping.” I’d speak for him and make decisions for him. When I wasn’t telling him what to do, I tried to control him with non-verbal cues. I’d sigh, roll my eyes or give him disapproving looks. I was silent, but I just as annoying.

2. You think he’s the problem

I thought he needed to straighten up. All of our problems were his fault. If he’d just do things my way, pay more attention to me and learn how to communicate, our lives would be easier. The more I focused on his flaws, the more flaws he seemed to have. I was so focused on his shortcomings, I couldn’t see how I was pushing him away.

3. You have an attitude

I was critical all the time. When you’re critical, your husband may feel like he can’t do anything to please you. If he feels like he can’t please you, he may stop trying. Criticism also makes you unsafe. He may not feel like he can confide in you when he’s unsure of what you’re going to say.

I had to learn skills to be a loving wife. You can learn wife skills just like you can learn anything else.

What if you baked bread and it always turned out terrible. It didn’t rise or it burned on the outside and was doughy in the middle. Then someone showed you how to make bread. They gave you the skills you needed to do it right. And you practiced.

Suddenly you bake great bread.

Marriage isn’t much different. It’s about learning skills. You can learn how to be different. You can learn how to connect with your husband and build a strong marriage.

Men feel successful when their wives are happy. If you’re constantly complaining or criticizing, he’ll feel like a failure. He’ll feel like he can’t please you. He may stop trying and start spending his time in front of the TV instead.

You may not have the skills to build a great relationship, but you can learn. Identifying marriage wrecking behaviors and correcting them may mean the difference in the life or death of your marriage.
 

Tis The Season To Be Wonder Blessed​


God Is Our Wonderful Savior

Praise be to you, Lord, the God of our father Israel, from everlasting to everlasting. Yours, Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours. Yours, Lord, is the kingdom; you are exalted as head over all. Wealth and honor come from you; you are the ruler of all things. In your hands are strength and power to exalt and give strength to all. Now, our God, we give you thanks, and praise your glorious name.

1 Chronicles 29: 10-13



As I read through this passage from 1 Chronicles, I’m struck by the vivid imagery these descriptive phrases describing God’s wonder and majesty. Line by line, we read how God’s magnificence and his glory permeate every space of heaven and earth. Understanding God’s absolute sovereignty should cause us to experience blessed inner rest and peace knowing who our heavenly Father is and how much he loves us.

But we all know that reading these Scripture passages is but the first step in the process of allowing these powerful truths to saturate our thinking and thus bring comfort and consolation to our frequently anxiety-ridden hearts.

So how do we move from simply reading God’s word to allowing its life-giving truth to deeply transform us from fear-driven, worry-laden, fretful believers to those who have lingered long in Christ’s presence and have now learned to rest easy in his faithful provision? We begin by unpacking these powerful promises and allowing the wonder of God’s unchanging character to bring inner stillness and calm to our anxious hearts.


God Is In Our Past, Present, And Future

Praise be to you, Lord, the God of our father Israel, from everlasting to everlasting. Is there any more fitting way to open our prayers to God than by praising him? The writer here acknowledges that God is the father of Israel, the same God who has chosen you and me to become part of his eternally redeemed family. The next statement reminds us that God has no beginning nor end. He has always existed and even time cannot constrain him. The God who lives within our hearts is also the God who lives simultaneously in our past, our present, and our future. Ask yourself: Does knowing that God has always existed help me to rest easier in his divine care today?

God Owns Everything

Yours, Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours. Here we read these illustrious descriptions of God’s character – he embodies greatness; he is all powerful; he is glorious; he is majestic; and he is splendid. It is clear that the author of this passage has a heart overflowing with praise and adoration as he recognizes the wonder and glory of God. In this second part, we are reminded that everything in heaven and on earth belongs to our God. Every single thing in heaven. Every single thing on earth. As far as our eyes can see and our hearts can imagine…it all belongs to God. Ask yourself: How does knowing that God owns everything in heaven and on earth encourage your heart when you are in some kind of need be it spiritual, emotional, physical, or material?


God Is Ruler Over All​

Yours, Lord, is the kingdom; you are exalted as head over all. This passage declares God’s rightful position as head over all. Let’s focus on the “over all” phrase and contemplate what this means to us. In short, there is no government, no ruler, no elected official, or any other person in authority that commands this kind of power. And knowing that God is the head over all should bring us comfort and peace. God never has nor ever will abdicate his position to any power on heaven or earth. Let us then rest securely in this everlasting truth. Ask yourself: What should be our rightful response as we let this truth about God marinate in our heart and mind when we are faced with unjust authority figures in our lives?

God Governs The Entire World

Wealth and honor come from you; you are the ruler of all things. This portion of the passage should give all Christians the divine assurance that God is indeed the One who oversees our lives in very practical ways. Do we have wealth? It comes from God. Have we been honored for our work vocational or volunteer? This too, comes from the hand of God. Again, the writer reminds us that God is the ruler of all things…not fifty, or sixty, or ninety percent of things…but of all things. He is completely sovereign and carefully governs the smallest to the largest areas of our lives. Ask yourself: How does recognizing that God is the ruler over all things change our attitudes toward the practicalities of life such as our monetary wealth and our positions in meaningful work?


Our God Is All Powerful

In your hands are strength and power to exalt and give strength to all. In this verse we are again reminded that all the strength and power are in God’s hands to exalt a person. It is his decision to lift up or to bring down. We can rest in this additional dimension of God’s absolute sovereignty over heaven and earth and everything that takes place throughout time and history. Following on the heels of this reminder is the promise that God is similarly in the position to give strength to all as he deems fit. Ask yourself: When you are feeling overwhelmed and burdened, does knowing that God has the power to supply you with the strength you require prompt you to stop and pray for his assistance as you need it? If not, why not?

God Is Wonderful And Glorious

Now, our God, we give you thanks, and praise your glorious name. What more fitting close to this glorious account of God’s glorious rule and sovereignty over the nations than to pause and give thanks. Yes, Lord, we do stop and give thanks and we praise your glorious name for not just what you have done…but most important…for who you are. Ask yourself: Have you found it beneficial to your faith to better understand who the bible says God is? Remember, we can’t fully trust another unless we know who they are and this principle applies to our ability to put the full weight of our trust and faith in God.
 

What does it mean to continue or endure?​


Quick Answer: What does it mean to continue or endure? What if we don’t continue in the faith? Will we lose our salvation? Passages that speak of the need to “continue” or “hold fast” are addressed to those who are not yet saved and still need to continue hearing and believing until they take in the whole message of the Gospel. At some point, if they do continue, each will be born again. Once saved, we can do nothing to maintain or sustain our salvation. Jesus has secured us forever.

Diving Deeper: Colossians 1:23 says you are holy and blameless “if indeed you continue”, while 1 Corinthians 15:2 says you are saved “if you hold fast.” There is a clear condition in each of these two challenging passages.

We might approach these passages with a modern-day perspective which includes a sinner’s prayer mentality. A person is unsaved, prays the prayer, and is then saved. However, the view in Scripture is that people are in a process of hearing and believing. There is a progression in their understanding. So, as Paul addresses particular congregations, he is not certain where each individual stands. Therefore, his advice to the group as a whole is that they “continue” hearing and believing. If they do, at some point, each of them will be saved.

In short, this is not about born again believers needing to sustain something. It’s about the recipients of Paul’s letters (many of whom Paul does not know personally) being urged to continue their pursuit of truth about Jesus. In so doing, each will be born again as they continue to hear, process, and eventually believe.


We might not be able to point to the day, the hour, or the moment we were saved. It is sometimes a lengthy journey or process. People are learning about the Gospel, and everyone is at a different point. Much like physical birth, we might not have any recollection of our spiritual birth. For a while, we were each in the process of hearing and believing the Gospel message for the first time. Likewise, Paul’s readers are each in a different place but are all being urged to continue hearing and believing and holding fast to the truth. Paul reveals his evangelistic heart as he urges his readers to keep on keeping on in their exposure to the Gospel.

The Gospel itself is not about our ability to continue or keep promises to God. No, the Gospel is about God making a promise to Himself to never let us go. We enter into the benefits of God’s own faithfulness to Himself (Hebrews 6:16-18). Hebrews describes this as “two unchangeable things” (God and God). Once we are in Christ, God is the one who “continues” to hold us in His hand and no one can snatch us out (John 10:28). Nothing separates us from the love of Christ (Romans 8:38-39).

Let’s Make It a Conversation!
1. What was your journey toward salvation like?
2. Do you remember an exact moment of being born again or was it more of a process over time? Explain.
3. What do the “two unchangeable things” in Hebrews 6:16-18 mean for your safety and security in Jesus?
 

Living As An Introvert in a Big, Loud World​



According to the Meyers-Briggs Personality Inventory, I am an extreme introvert. This did not come as a surprise to me. I have always been what one might call shy. At the age of 68, I am still learning to live as an introvert in a big, loud world.


Living as an Introvert


The first indications of my introvert status came when I was a child. I lived in a small town and everyone walked everywhere. One day when I was walking downtown to run an errand for my grandmother, I saw our pastor, with whom I was well-acquainted, coming down the street in my direction. I was seized by nervousness, looked down at the ground, and crossed the street hoping he didn’t see me because I was in terror of having to say “hello.”



By the 8th grade, I would sooner take an F than answer a question out loud in class, even if I knew the answer beyond a shadow of a doubt.



In high school, there were a few close friends in my life, but those were people with whom I grew up. In a group of students who were mildly familiar, I would say nothing. I tried to keep a book with me all the time, so if I got into a group by accident, I could pretend to be reading. Once or twice, I did venture to open my mouth to offer a comment, and I felt the blush move hotly up my face and I perceived the foolishness of my words (maybe they weren’t really foolish, but that was my perception). Most of the time, I just smiled.



The only place I really felt at home was in my church youth group. That went on through my high school years, as well.



In college, I found out that drinking and substance abuse lifted me (dangerously) out of my shyness, but only until it was out of my system. That led to a pretty bad lifestyle with some potential consequences that I will leave to your imagination. It may be a blog for another day, and you get the picture.



As a young adult, I took the Myers-Briggs Personality Inventory. It told me I was an INFJ: “The Counselor”: “INFJs are creative nurturers with a strong sense of personal integrity and a drive to help others realize their potential. Creative and dedicated, they have a talent for helping others with original solutions to their personal challenges.” I liked that, and I really found it accurate, even in the expanded version.



God Can Use An Introvert!



Because I hated to talk, it was a total miracle of God that I entered a classroom to teach. There was a kindergarten class in rural Georgia that desperately needed a teacher. I desperately needed a job. So when the assistant superintendent with whom I attended church asked me if I would be interested, I decided to give it a try (and no, I did not have a teaching certificate, but it was the 70s in rural Georgia). That job was the vehicle God used to put me right where He wanted me–in front of a group.

I found out that I loved interacting with those children, and even the other faculty members. Kindergarten became my home for the next 20 years, but when the opportunity came up for me to go back to school and follow my passion, I opted to get a secondary education/language arts degree and then a masters in English.

He always knew the plans He had for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11, paraphrased).

Let me just say, the introversion did not go away. I am created the way God chose, and He showed me that I really could talk about the things I knew, and the best thing I knew was Him. I began teaching English to junior high and high school students in a Christian school, and I began teaching Sunday school, as well. Then He started opening doors for seminars and conferences. People actually wanted to hear what I had to say! So I talked … for Him.



A very wise colleague once told me that if you go more than 60 miles from home and carry a briefcase, everyone will think you know what you’re talking about. Humorous, but kind of true. I carried my briefcase and my Bible.



Today, I speak in classrooms on a daily basis. On occasions, I have spoken to groups of hundreds of people. A couple weeks ago, I gave an impromptu speech to nearly 200 people about the mystery of salvation through Jesus Chriist when the speaker was called away on an emergency. As Paul told Timothy, “preach the word; be instant in season and out of season (II Timothy 4:2). That means one must be ready at all times, even if it is an unexpected, inconvenient, or awkward moment. The mind must be prepared, and the heart must be willing and obedient. That right there is the key to living as an introvert in a big, loud world.



Jesus Might Have Been an Introvert, Too



Jesus gave the example in this, as well as so many other situations. As Pastor Bill Gaultiere says, “The priority of Jesus’ solitude and silence is everywhere in the Gospels. It’s how he began his ministry. It’s how he made important decisions. It’s how he dealt with troubling emotions like grief. It’s how he dealt with the constant demands of his ministry and cared for his soul. It’s how he prepared for his death on the cross.”



In his article “Nine Times Jesus Retreated to Be Alone With God,” Jacob Hess gives the following evidence:



  1. Preparatory desert retreat. “At once the Spirit sent [Jesus] out into the desert, and he was in the desert forty days, being tempted by Satan. He was with the wild animals, and angels attended him.” (Mark 1:12)
  2. After an exhausting day of ministry to the sick. “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” (Mark 1:35) [Everyone was looking for Jesus, but after his time in prayer he told his disciples that it was time for them to move on to another village.]
  3. A place of frequent retreat amidst the busy crowds seeking him. “[Despite Jesus’ plea that his miracles be kept secret] the news about him spread all the more, so that crowds of people came to hear him and to be healed of their sicknesses. But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” (Luke 5:15-16; see also Mark 1:45)
  4. Preparatory for more healing and the sermon on the mount. “Jesus went out to a mountain side to pray, and spent the night praying to God. When morning came, he called his disciples to him.” (Luke 6:12-13. See also Mark 3:13)

  5. After hearing that John the Baptist had been beheaded. “When Jesus heard, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place.” (Matthew 14:13)
  6. After the Twelve returned, and before he fed the 5000. “Because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, [Jesus] said to [his disciples], ‘Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.’ So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place.” (Mark 6:31-32)
  7. After he fed the 5000, and before Peter walked to him on the water. “After [Jesus] had dismissed [the crowds], he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. When evening came, he was [still] there alone.” (Matthew 14:23; see also Mark 6:46)
  8. After healing many, and before feeding the 4000. “Jesus went on from there and walked beside the Sea of Galilee. And he went up on the mountain and sat down there.” (Matthew 15:29)
  9. Initiating the agonizing ending. “They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Sit here while I pray.’” (Mark 14:32)


The Secret to Living as an Introvert in a Big, Loud World



Living and surviving as an introvert in a big, loud world is just like living and surviving as a Christian in a big loud world. One must make the time to be alone with God, to intentionally place ourselves into the Hands of the Potter so He can make us useful for the increase of His kingdom. To be right in the center of what He is doing is the very best (and most fun!) place to be.



I had to learn that my life is not about me. It’s about what God wants to do with me and through me that matters. He doesn’t give directions that don’t work. We may not see the outcome, but that’s OK. He has it all under control. My purpose isn’t to figure it out; my purpose is to be obedient.



Most days after I finish a full teaching schedule, I head home exhausted. It’s what happens to introverts. We need alone time to recharge, and some of that alone time needs to be spent talking to God, to Abba, and listening for His response, or even just resting in His Presence.



I wake up each morning excited for a new day! Let me just testify here–this particular introvert in a big, loud world wouldn’t have life any other way.

Introvert or extrovert, “God bless us every one!”
 

Quick Violence vs. Slow Violence: Luigi Mangione​


This article follows the murder of United Healthcare CEO Brian Thompson. The murderer, Luigi Mangione, has received condemnation from the corporate media, Ben Shapiro, and some of the American public. Mangione, however, has more broadly received sympathy, tacit approval, and even celebration from most of the American people.


For those curious as to why, or for those strongly disgusted by this approval of violence, we set out in this article to explain the underpinnings of Mangione’s support. How could people support such an act violence?





As it turns out, the violence was not done by Mangione alone. Nor was the larger portion of the violence committed by Mangione. Nor are his supporters the only ones celebrating violence.

What is Slow Violence?​

Quick violence is easier to recognize in an individualistic society. Quick violence constitutes acts committed by individual actors. These acts bring about immediate suffering and even death on whoever is being acted upon.


Slow violence is not as visible. Slow violence can be committed by individuals. Societies, institutions, and even healthcare companies commit slow violence as well. Acts as well as processes which incur death and suffering over a period of time constitutes slow violence.

(Slow violence is different from what Orlando Patterson called “social death” regarding African slaves in the chattel system. According to Patterson and Afropessimist thinkers, the slave was not only legally made property. The slave was also made ontologically, in their very being, “an object of accumulation and fungibility.” [1] This absolute power structure continues even after slavery for Patterson and the Afropessimists.)

Is this idea about slow violence a modern one? Not at all. The ancients have long recognized that violence is not only immediate and individualistic; it can be collective and gradual as well.

The thesis here is not that Mangione’s violence is morally justified. However, his act of violence and the support thereof cannot genuinely be understood apart from the violence he responded to. As Mangione faces New York and Pennsylvania’s court systems, we place United Healthcare on trial.


Slow Violence in the Bible and Tradition​

There are several instances of slow violence in the Bible and Christian tradition. Consider Christ’s rebuke against the Pharisees. After the woes against the scribes and Pharisees, Jesus links their hypocrisy to their ancestors. The Pharisees honored the prophets through tombs and monuments. But in neglecting the teachings of the prophets, Jesus says,

you are witnesses against yourselves that you are the sons of those who murdered the prophets. Fill up, then, the measure of your fathers’ guilt. Serpents, brood of vipers! How can you escape the condemnation of hell? (Mt. 23:31-32, NKJV).
According to Jesus, their hypocrisy results in the damnation of those who follow in their footsteps (vv. 13, 15 and 27). And this hypocrisy is a direct continuation of the same violence which killed God’s prophets. We see here Christ indicating the long trajectory of violence, physical and spiritual, that the scribes and Pharisees are participating in.

While the Pharisees never killed anyone as far as the Gospels say, they did enact physical and spiritual forms of slow violence by dishonoring the prophetic tradition and leading followers to hell.


In Church tradition, there are also many instances of conceiving violence beyond the individual act. The Summa Theologica by St. Thomas Aquinas, essentially a baptism of Aristotle’s philosophical system, contains a segment on law. Aquinas, famous for natural law theory, had some key insights about the nature of law.

File:Thomas Aquinas by Carlo Crivelli.png
Thomas Aquinas by Carlo Crivelli / Wikimedia Commons
For Aquinas, law measures and rules on human action. And the end/purpose (telos) of law is what he calls “beatitude,” or what may be called blessedness, happiness, or the Christian formulation of eudaimonia (the good life). When law fails this chief end, it is unjust. Aquinas writes,


an unjust law . . . has the nature, not of law but of violence. Nevertheless even an unjust law, in so far as it retains some appearance of law, though being framed by one who is in power, is derived from the eternal law; since all power is from the Lord God, according to Romans 13:1 (ST I-II, Q. 93, Art. 3, ad. 2).
An unjust law has not the nature of law, which should bring common goodness to the people. In itself, it has the nature of violence. Again, there is no act of quick violence. Unjust laws form their own processes of slow violence by diverting the people away from beatitude.

We could bring up more examples from Scripture and Tradition, but we must now turn back to the task at hand. This suffices to prove that the Christian conception of violence is not confined to individual acts of physical force. Violence is broader than that, be it spiritual, historical, or legal.

The American Health Insurance System​

America’s healthcare system is privatized. This means that rather than being covered by the public pooling tax dollars into the system, patients must pay for services themselves. Healthcare is so expensive that without aid, very few Americans could ever afford consistent care, including dental, psychiatric, and so on.


The government has Medicare and Medicaid programs to assist those who meet certain income or age criteria. But excepting these criteria, Americans must choose between paying unaffordable costs or paying insurance companies to help cover costs. Insurance companies charge monthly premiums. Each company collects funds from people which are then pooled into covering care for anyone who needs it.

Americans are so dependent on health insurance that they are likely to die without it. The U.S. loses nearly 45,000 working age Americans every year who do not have health insurance. Insurers impose a severe amount of red tape onto doctors working with patients. Even if doctors propose treatment, insurers are free and quick to delay and deny claims.

There are stories like that of solo practitioner Dr. Anthony Ekong, who was told by WellCare’s auditor Cotiviti that he had been overpaid for services. Cotiviti asked Ekong for $300,000, an amount that Ekong would need to go bankrupt to pay off or impose heavier charges on his patients who themselves were financially struggling. Dr. Richard Lechner, a dentist, had to hire administrative staff who spent days dealing with insurers. And Lechner only had himself and two hygienists working in the office. (These and similar stories are available here.)


Speaking of bankruptcy, healthcare costs and debt is the leading cause of bankruptcy for families in the US.

Count One: Overcharging and Underserving​

The first charge we levy against the health insurance system and United Healthcare in particular is that they overcharge patients yet underserve them. Julie Rovner puts it well in a recent podcast episode with KFF Health News:

One of the big arguments against “Medicare for All” or any kind of sort of government-run health care is that they end up rationing care. Well, we seem to have the worst of both worlds, where we’re having rationed care and profit-making in health care.
Ever since 2000, health insurance cost increases have mostly outpaced inflation rates. And regardless of inflation, premiums for families and for individuals have consistently gone up throughout the years. As Gallup’s polling shows, the vast majority of Americans disapprove of healthcare costs.

Though the cost bar has risen, returns for insurance customers have not. The KFF has found that in 2021, some insurers denied nearly half (49%) of all received insurance claims. The reason for denial 77% of the time is unspecified by insurers. They write that “consumers rarely appeal denied claims and when they do, insurers usually uphold their original decision.”


In fact, a 2021 lawsuit against United Healthcare alleged that the company employed an AI program (with a 90% error rate!) that denied significantly more claims that human employees did, as a means of maximizing profits. And the use of AI in judging claims is quite common amongst insurance companies.

It is in the business interests of companies like United Healthcare to hike up premiums for both families and individuals. It is also in their business interests to deny claims, keeping customers from enjoying the fruits of their contributions to the health insurance industry.

Count Two: Fabricating Value​

Lew Daly, a Christian scholar who works with Demos, authored a book titled Unjust Desserts: How the Rich are Taking Our Common Inheritance. In a talk about Unjust Desserts, Daly discusses the 19th century rent system that John Stuart Mill and David Ricardo criticized on moral grounds.

As Daly explains, landlords owned land. Through charging rent to tenants and through land development, landlords gained value from something that they themselves did not contribute to, other than holding a piece of paper legitimating their ownership. A noble with a piece of land in London in the 1800s could hold a deed to the land. And after London became developed, that deed would be many times greater in value.


Daly asks,

How can you attribute . . . to the person holding the piece of paper the rise in value of that piece of paper? He or she did nothing to earn that value. They’re benefiting from the from the collective development of London as a commercial metropolis.
There were moral problems with this rent system wherein one did not have to merit increase in value yet enjoyed the fruits of the labor of others. In analogy, there is a similar moral flaw in the health insurance industry. These corporations get value from customers paying in through premiums month by month, year by year. It is through the denial of not only claims, but denying customers who deserve compensation when necessary, that insurance companies essentially fabricate value that customers pay in return for security. Very similar to the way that landlords fabricated value that was really due to collective efforts of cultivating the land.

The Slow Violence of Health Insurance​

Much more is to be said of the health insurance industry and its alternatives. The health insurance industry overcharges the people. The promise of paying into these companies is assistance in paying medical costs, the leading cause of bankruptcy in the US. Despite the rise in costs which outpaces inflation, customers are denied claims at often absurd rates. Even when denials are appealed, insurance companies defend their original decisions. Customers are therefore underserved.


But this is not by accident. It is in the very design of the insurance system. Overcharging and underserving are specifically geared towards maximizing profits. And CEOs like Brian Thompson did little but play with numbers (and play with lives) to maximize these profits and extract value from the suffering and lack of the American people.

This is the slow violence of the health insurance system: commodifying the fears of being unable to afford health insurance, then sacrificing customer trust to meet and surpass business quotas. This is slow violence, and it is absolutely sinful. Denials send Americans into bankruptcy, economic insecurity, psychological panic, physical suffering, and ultimately the risk (and sometimes actualization) of death.

The Public Speaks​

In closing, let us read and reflect on some stories that people have shared under the comment section of a video about the whole situation. Though, keep in mind, there are countless other comment sections like this throughout the internet, and countless more stories like the ones below.

@queenli3047: My father was actively having a heart attack and I was on the other side of town. I was begging him to call an ambulance and he refused because he said he couldn’t afford the bill. He waited almost 25 minutes for me to come and pick him up, then the amount of time it took for me to take him to the ER. The whole time in the ER until they took him up for emergency surgery, all he talked about was how high the bill would be that he couldn’t afford. When they told him they had to do surgery he asked if there was a cheaper option. The man was dying, that broke my heart.

@bulletproofzest: My aunt, while dying of cancer, decided with her husband to get divorced so that he wouldn’t be on the hook after she died. So ridiculous that this is a reality for so many people.

@jasonspain3554: Over the past 10 years I have been budgeting, carefully considering every penny that leaves my pocket. I’ve provided for my family of four and really attempted to save for my kids college and also save for my retirement. It could all go away in a blink if one of us needs major medical care. That’s the reality of today’s America. The health insurance industry is disgusting and yet election after election nothing is done about it. The great American heist of the middle and lower class continues…

@bhlv89: I went to ER last summer for dehydration. The doc said I will check your electrolytes and give you some fluids. I was there for 2hrs ish. Just got a bill of $2,200 and that’s because I have health insurance. It’s absolutely disgusting.

@jamesloehr649: My uncle died because he didn’t have insurance and did not go to the hospital despite his family asking him to. He wasn’t feeling well for a long time before he had a massive heart attack that killed him. If we had universal healthcare, he likely would still be alive. So it hits close to home for me. I have insurance and have over 5k in medical bills. Tired of this system and its cruelty.

May God bring justice to a society in which healthcare is a commodity and the hurting are undeserving customers.
 

Jesus: Good News of Great Happiness​





The angel’s message to the shepherds at Jesus’ birth condenses the gospel to its core. He said, “I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people” (Luke 2:10). The gospel isn’t for some; it’s for all. The Greek adjective translated “great” here is megas—this isn’t just news, but good news of “mega-joy.” It’s the best news there has ever been or ever will be.

What characterizes this good news is a deep, everlasting joy for any who will receive it. The Contemporary English Version renders the verse this way: “good news for you, which will make everyone happy.”

Isaiah wrote, “How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news, who publishes peace, who brings good news of happiness.” And Paul clearly refers to Isaiah 52:7 in Romans 10:15 as he references the gospel, demonstrating that this “good news of happiness” is in fact nothing else but the gospel of salvation in Jesus Christ.

If the gospel we preach isn’t about happiness, then it contradicts God’s words in Isaiah 52:7. The gospel offers an exchange of misery-generating sin for happiness-giving righteousness provided by Jesus Himself. In bowing to Him, the shepherds bowed to joy incarnate, happiness in human flesh.


Joy, exultation, and happiness are proper responses to Jesus.

Each stanza of “O Come All Ye faithful” contains sentiments of true happiness: “joyful and triumphant,” “sing in exultation,” “born this happy morning.”

A gospel not characterized by such overwhelming gladness isn’t the gospel. Think about it—delivery from eternal damnation is delivery from eternal misery.

Those who trust and serve Christ receive this mind-boggling invitation: “Come and share your master’s happiness!” (Matthew 25:21, NIV). Those who trust in riches, in contrast, are told, “Weep and howl for the miseries that are coming upon you” (James 5:1).

Our happiness is certainly not the only thing the gospel is about. However, it’s one of the wonderful things Christ accomplished through His redemptive work.

As a young believer, I often heard testimonies in which people happily recalled the day of their conversion. Years later, it dawned on me that instead of only being happy about what Jesus did in the past (on the cross and at my conversion) and what He’ll one day do (at His return), I should be happy in what He’s doing today. The psalmist was onto something when he said, “This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24). Yes, he spoke of one particular day, but God has ordained all our days.


I have a friend who genuinely believes that nearly every meal, get-together, retreat, or vacation is the best he has ever experienced. His capacity to enjoy the moment and savor present happiness becomes a treasured memory of past happiness. The present is the only place we live. Circumstances constantly change, and good news comes and goes, but the Good News of happiness has come, it is still here, and it will never go away!

Happiness is our natural response to good news.

The Westminster Shorter Catechism begins with the question, “What is the chief end of man?” and offers the reply, “Man’s chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever.” For theologians to come up with “glorify God” is no surprise. But to enjoy Him forever?

Why not “obey or fear” Him forever?

The catechism writers understood that the Good News includes more than one dimension. There’s the God who deserves to be glorified, and there are the people He created not only to glorify Him but to enjoy Him and delight in Him unendingly.

When we hear good news, what’s our reaction? Happiness, excitement, wonder, and celebration, right?


The gospel is a concrete, reality-grounded call to happiness. Jesus really did become a man, go to the cross, and rise from the grave. He truly is with us and in us now and will return again one day. These facts are what separate the gospel from wishful thinking.

In Hebrews 3:13, God calls us to happiness this way: “Encourage each other daily, while it is still called today” (HCSB). If God wants us to be happy in Him, today (not tomorrow) is the time to experience Christ-centered happiness.

Choosing to rejoice by rehearsing reasons to be happy and grateful even in the midst of suffering is an affirmation of trust not only in what God has done but also in our belief that He will bring a good end to all that troubles us. The gospel infuses hope and joy into our circumstances because it acknowledges God’s greatness over any crisis we’ll face.

Today’s happiness in Christ is drawn from an infinite deposit of happiness that God has already placed in our account. It isn’t something we have to wait to experience after death, though only then will we experience it completely.

If the gospel doesn’t bring us true happiness, then what we believe is not the gospel. When a pastor or author says, “God never intended for humans to be happy,” it may sound spiritual. But unless being happy is a sin, it’s not true.


Unfortunately, we diminish the Bible’s overflowing happiness when we separate “holy” things that give us joy, such as prayer, Bible reading, and church, from “worldly” things that bring us happiness, such as pets, hobbies, barbecues, vacations, and sports. This turns us into spiritual schizophrenics, creating false divisions between “Jesus time” and “world time,” “God time” and “me time.”

How can we “glorify God in everything” and “pray without ceasing” if we can’t glorify God and pray while working, riding a bike, playing games, or watching a movie?

The truth is, the Good News should leak into every aspect of our lives, even if we’re not consciously talking about God or witnessing to someone. Every time we ponder the gospel, live by it, share it, and anticipate its culmination in a world without sin and death, “good news of happiness” will permeate our lives with . . . well, happiness.

That’s exactly what happened when Paul and Barnabas took the gospel to the Gentiles. Paul said, “We bring you the good news [glad tidings (KJV)]. . . . And when the Gentiles heard this, they began rejoicing [the Gentiles were very happy to hear this (CJB)]. . . . The disciples were filled with joy and with the Holy Spirit [The disciples were overflowing with happiness (CEB)]” (Acts 13:32, 48, 52).


Fred Sanders writes in The Deep Things of God, “A gospel which is only about the moment of conversion but does not extend to every moment of life in Christ is too small. A gospel that gets your sins forgiven but offers no power for transformation is too small.” I would add that a gospel incapable of making you happier than you have ever been is too small.

God timed the incarnation of Jesus—joy personified—perfectly.

“When the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman . . .” (Galatians 4:4, NIV). God’s timing in sending Jesus wasn’t just perfect for the world in general; it was ideal for Israel in particular. The hand of Rome was heavy on the Jewish people, and life under an emperor who claimed to be a god was particularly oppressive to those who believed in the one true God.

Though the Jews had long hoped for God’s intervention, the promises of redemption and judgment on their enemies seemed no closer to fulfillment. Discouragement and pessimism were rampant.

When Christianity emerged, the appeal of Jesus’ teachings was widespread. He emphasized truth and virtue, as did Stoicism, and the goodness of pleasures and happiness—including eating and drinking—as did Epicureanism. He also offered a true relationship with God, which the mystery religions fruitlessly sought. Just as He does today, Jesus offered the genuine happiness everyone wanted but had not found.


Wise happiness-seekers accept God’s offer of eternal, unending happiness.

Jesus tells a story about a great party thrown by God: the great banquet (see Luke 14:15-24).

When a good, happy king (who represents God), with vast wealth and unlimited resources threw a party, the people the king invited made all kinds of excuses for not coming. When those who were invited refused, the king sent invitations to anyone his servants could find. So the wedding hall was filled with grateful people.

This parable exemplifies God’s sincere invitation to happiness and our tendency to turn down His invitation to pursue things we believe will make us happier.

Refusing the King’s invitation to endless celebration in His presence is refusing happiness itself.

The moral of the story? When God invites you to a party, say yes. You’ll be happy you did!
 

6 Ways to Promote a Happy Relationship​



Karen, 38, and Kevin, 39, have been married for eight years and have fallen into the habit of bickering about small things and arguing often. On a daily basis, they no longer show appreciation for each other. As a result, their interactions have become more negative than positive and they both reported in a couples counseling session, that they would like to experience more happiness in their marriage.

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Perhaps the first step in overcoming this tendency to be negative and arguing too much, is to learn more ways to promote a happy relationship. The following list can help you to more clearly define qualities of a happy relationship – one that is characterized by friendship, admiration, and mutual respect.


Here are 6 ways to promote a happy relationship:

  1. You have a strong friendship and are free to be your authentic selves. In a nutshell, you can be yourself and don’t have to walk on eggshells. You both feel safe in the relationship and free to express your thoughts, feelings, and desires openly without fear of rejection.
  2. You focus on showing admiration and mutual respect. This means that you accept, admire, and respect each other for who you are. You don’t focus on each other’s flaws (we all have them) and you both show respect by being kind and compassionate with one another.
  3. Your Trust each other. You both follow through on your promises unless there is something urgent going on. This means you both honor your agreements and apologize when you’re unable to do so.
  4. You know how to manage conflict together. You avoid blaming each other when you have a disagreement and look for ways to have better communication – listening to each other’s perspective and owning your part in the conflict. When things get too heated, you decide to take a break, but be sure to make repair efforts within two days.

  5. You show appreciation for each other. You value each other and freely give positive reinforcement such as compliments and praise. You both show appreciation on a daily basis.
  6. You spend time talking about your vision for a future together. Although you may not express exactly the same ideas, you are willing to compromise and you are basically on the same page. You enjoy spending time together and sharing your dreams.
If you feel that your relationship falls short on any of the items above, it’s crucial that you begin visualizing yourself in a happy relationship and focus on changing your own behavior. Consider creating a vision board where you post quotes, messages, and photos of the kind of relationship that you aspire to have. Check it on a regular basis and see if you need to work on any of your goals. Research by Dr. John Gottman shows that even if one partner works on improving the dynamics in their relationship, both partners will experience more happiness.
 
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When You’re Just . . . Done
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[ 1 min read ★ ]
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Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding—Proverbs 3:5


Is there any belief you’ve simply gotten tired of believing? Is there any belief you’ve held onto, stubbornly, for too long now? We men are so good at holding onto things, even after they’ve shown themselves to be detrimental. Sometimes these stubborn beliefs are about God. Sometimes they’re about other people. Sometimes they’re about us. And, sometimes, it’s just time to change our minds. We can you know.

It’s not an easy thing to do, of course, changing our minds, changing our beliefs—but we don’t have to do it on our own. God will help, if we ask. All we must do is decide we want to change our minds—like the man who brought his son, the one who couldn’t speak, to Jesus. This man had real doubts about Jesus, and about what Jesus could do, but he decided he wanted to change his mind about those doubts . . . and he asked for help:

“Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, ‘I believe; help my unbelief!’” (Mark 9:24).​

Changing our minds—to align our beliefs with those of God—is one way we step out of our old selves and into our new selves. It’s one way we begin to become the men God intends us to become.
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Okay, so what do we do?

Are you tired of being a skeptic? Are you tired of being bitter or unforgiving? Are you tired of being too hard on yourself? Something else? The Apostle Paul told us what to do when we identify an old, worn-out belief: “Get rid of it!” (Ephesians 4:20-24 MSG). Get rid of it by naming it and bringing it to God in prayer. Tell him you’re tired of being that man—hard-hearted and unbending. Tell him you’d like his help in becoming a new man.
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