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In step

Out of Touch with Reality​


I recently taught a message on wisdom as found in the book of Proverbs. I took a somewhat unusual approach by asking the participants, what is the opposite of wisdom? The response, of course, was “foolishness.”



In the Bible, there is a great deal taught about foolishness and being a fool. In fact, most commentators on the book of Proverbs believe that one of the best ways to grasp what real wisdom is all about, is to examine what Proverbs teaches us about being a fool.
One of the main characteristics of a fool is a person who is seriously out of touch with reality. Most often they are guided by their feelings and do not seem concerned with the consequences of their decisions.

Where I see so many people out of touch with reality is in the laws of sowing and reaping. The Apostle Paul describes this law in Galatians 6:7. I have written about this in previous blogs. It says, “Do not be deceived, God cannot be mocked, whatever a man sows, this he also shall reap.”

I believe there is a key word in this verse: “Whatever.” It is all inclusive. It applies to every area of life and to everyone. In recently teaching on this, I told the men in the audience that one of the most egregious violations of this law is the incredible debt the United States is piling up. Our budget deficit for fiscal year 2024 is $1.9 trillion dollars, which is a staggering amount. It took our country 206 years (1776 to 1982) to run our national debt up to 1.0 trillion dollars. It then took only 41 years (1983-2024) to get the deficit to $35 trillion. Almost all economists will tell you it is unsustainable. There will be a reaping someday. God has made it clear that He will not be mocked.

A number of years ago I wrote a blog titled, “Slow Motion Financial Collapse.” In that blog I shared the brilliant words of the great scholar Os Guiness, from an insightful essay he wrote titled, “This Too Shall Pass.” He addresses the problem of slow-motion cultural decline. He believes there is a simple reason why slow-motion decline is such a particular threat to our country. He says “Great civilizations and empires of the past have always been wrecked on two great reefs – the presence of sin in human society and the passing of time. No human success is forever.”

Guinness then makes this powerful observation:
“The year 1787 witnessed not only the ‘miracle’ of the Constitutional Convention in Philadelphia but also the completion of the last volume of Edward Gibbon’s The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire. A fall beyond belief, Rome’s end – Gibbon wrote from Luasanne – was “the greatest, perhaps, and most awful scene in the history of mankind.” And the first of the four reasons given? “The injuries of time and nature.” In his Lyceum Address in 1837 Lincoln spoke similarly of “the silent artillery of time.”
John Cogan is a senior fellow at Stanford University’s Hoover Institution. He says:

“It is not so much a problem of having to run a deficit from time to time, it is that it has become a natural component of our government. However when those deficits grow year after year they will lead to slow-motion financial collapse. Governments who ignore ‘the injuries of time’ are those who expose themselves to its destructiveness.”
Author Jim Rickards provides some real insight into this with an article titled “Is this the Moment of Truth?” He quotes from Ernest Hemingway’s novel The Sun Also Rises.
Bill Gorton, a friend of the protagonist, Jake Barnes, has just arrived from New York. Bill is in the café talking with Mike Campbell, an upper-crust Englishman, now fallen on hard times but keeping up appearances.
In the course of telling a story about his tailor, Mike casually mentions his bankruptcy. Here’s the dialogue:

“How did you go bankrupt?” Bill asked.
“Two ways,” Mike said. “Gradually and then suddenly.”
“What brought it on?”
“Friends,” said Mike. “I had a lot of friends. False Friends. Then I had creditors, too. Probably had more creditors than anybody in England.”

Mike believes that he was helpless and that his descent into bankruptcy was beyond his control.
I believe Hemingway’s words “gradually and then suddenly” is a warning on the slow but steady accumulation of debt with no plan to stop it, nor to repay it. Though it can gradually continue over a long period of time, then suddenly there will be a full-blown financial disaster the likes of which no one has ever seen. The collapse itself will be swift as everyone races for the exits.

I believe the words that capture the essence of this blog were written over 200 years ago by Scottish historian Alexander Tyler. He said, “A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government. A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover that they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy.”

What bothers me most is that there is a significant problem yet not one of the current presidential candidates has ever mentioned this very real problem, nor what to do about it. Remember, a fool is a person who is out of touch with reality and that is what we have.
 

Why Does Hosea Warn That God’s People ‘Perish For Lack of Knowledge’?​




Traditionally dated to somewhere in the 8th century BCE, the Book of Hosea is a book filled with warnings to God’s people; warnings given because of their consistent “unfaithfulness” to their deity and His revealed Law.

In the fourth chapter of the book of Hosea, Yahweh declares, “My people perish for lack of knowledge” (V:6). The Hebrew word translated as “perish” implies that they will be “destroyed,” “cut off,” or “cease” to exist. In other words, “the Lord” (or Jehovah) commands His people through His prophet to “hear” His “words” (V:1). And then He describes what He sees as their unfaithful and unrighteous state


Israel’s God speaks of His “people” (or “nation”)—the “children of Israel” (V:1)—as void of “truth” or the “knowledge of God.” He says that they are guilty of dishonesty, immorality, and violence (V:2) and, as a result, they will be given reason to “mourn” and be “weakened” as God takes from the “the beasts of the filed, the fowls of the air, and the fish of the sea” (V:3).

Having described (through the prophet, Hosea) His discontent with His “people,” Yahweh then informs them that they are like people who “contend” or “argue” with God’s priests and, consequently, they will “fall” (or be “destroyed” Heb.) as will their “spokesman” or “false prophet” (V:5). Indeed, He says “I will destroy thy mother”—a metaphor for the “nation of Israel” or the “people of God” living in the 8th century BCE.


All of this explains the context of what Hosea meant when he declared (on behalf of Yahweh) that “My people are destroyed because they have no knowledge” (ERV) or “my people are destroyed by refusing to obey” (as the Contemporary English Version renders the Hebrew).

Essentially, Israel’s prophet in warning the people that they have put themselves in a precarious situation. They have a God who is aware of them, and a prophet who receives His word (or commandments) for them, and yet they ignore what He gives, choosing to “argue” with the priests and follow the “false prophets” who tell them what they want to hear and who lead them down a path that ends in destruction.

The “knowledge” that Hosea says the people of God are lacking—the “knowledge” that leads to their “destruction”—is the “knowledge of God.” It isn’t that they don’t know about Him or aren’t aware of what He has taught.

Rather, they have His law and His inspired messenger (in the form of Hosea), but they reject it. They don’t want it. As the Darby Translation of this passage explains: “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge; for thou hast rejected knowledge, and I will reject thee, that thou shalt be no priest to me; seeing thou hast forgotten the law of thy God, I also will forget thy children.”

In the Hebrew Bible, the “children of Israel” were “chosen” to be God’s people, the bearers of His covenant, the recipients of His blessings, and the one’s “authorized” to function in His tabernacle and temple.
However, because these ancient “chosen” people loved the “world” more than God, and they desired the “law” of a flexible “false prophet” more than the law of the Divine, their God would reject them as His “people.”


Here Yahweh informs them that He will take from them their status as His “nation” and remove from them the privilege of having “priests.” Because of their unfaithfulness, they will be—in God’s eyes—like the heathen nations who reject Him and, thereby, lose the blessings He has for those who believe and are faithful to God.

Applying this verse to the believers in his day, Theodore, Bishop of Mopsuestia (AD 350-428), summarized God’s message in this way: “My people are like a priest who is compromised. He has fallen from his previous dignity and does not appear worthy for any reason [or in any way], just as a priest who falls into controversy would be set aside and dishonored by everyone… To the greatest extent he will become weak because of the upcoming evils” in which he will engage. (Theodore, Commentary on Hosea 4.)

Thus, in Hosea’s day and Theodore’s—and presumably in our own era—God says that, if the “kingdom of priests, and [His] holy nation” (Exodus 19:6) choose to become “compromised” through sin and rejection of God’s commandments, then they will “destroy” themselves much like a little child that ignores his mother’s warnings to not run into the street.

Theodore, like Hosea, is saying that those who once had God’s ear and aid may lose both if they reject their God for a more worldly life, a “false prophet” who preaches an “easier way,” or a life without “laws.”

And, true to Hosea’s warning, that is exactly what happened. In circa 732 BCE, the Assyrians took God’s people captive, followed by the Babylonians (in circa 586 BCE), then the Persians (circa 539 BCE), and eventually the Romans (AD 70).


Thus, the warnings of Hosea went unheeded, and God’s people “perished for” their lack of obedience to the “knowledge” God had revealed to him.
 

Trump’s Angry Rhetoric vs. Christian Values: It’s not Normal​



Trump’s communication style has been normalized by the way American Evangelicals wholeheartedly endorse him. This is reinforcing the idea of many outside the Church that Christians are defined by their hate for those who are different from them. How can we come together and find a way for the church to model to the world the LOVE of JESUS rather than only his JUDGEMENT and WRATH as seems to be the case too often at the moment? We need to be offering forgiveness not rejection.

Rudeness, misogyny, and brashness is seen in every speech Trump makes and this has not been challenged. Trump is being upheld by many Christians as a “strong” leader to be emulated. This bring shame on the church, and is risking a whole generation of Christians believing it is OK to speak like that. Where is the humility and meekness?

As a society today we seem to be becoming more angry, less forgiving and less compassionate. Social media behavior and language is really very similar to the insulting and belittling way that Trump often speaks about his opponents. And on social media this language is not unique to the right. People throw insults at each other in a way that denigrates the name of Jesus.

In further reflection on my previous article Is Trump Fueling The End-Times Rebellion Of The Church? I realize that perhaps my title was a bit biased. After all, as the article points out it is not just Trump who maps onto some of the things Paul warns us about in the end times rebellion.
But in the aftermath of the election, where are the Christians who are even willing to say “Look we supported Trump because of his views on abortion, but we do want to say that Christian speech should not be like this”?
It was a secular podcaster who has described the most clearly the danger of our acceptance that this is now an OK way for public leaders to speak:

“The bellicosity of this man’s rhetoric is having an affect in your family and the culture in our society. And it’s giving licence to people to be cruel to each other. I don’t want to represent that” Anthony Scaramucci

I am not sure whether he has a faith or not, but if so it’s not part of his regular public persona. Where are the explicit Christian voices loudly saying that tone matters, that character matters, that maybe we voted for Trump for other reasons, but we don’t support his constant belittling of others and we do not want our children growing up in a world where it is now the normal way for people to speak to one another in this bellicose way (which means argumentative, belligerent, aggressive and wanting to start a fight).

Too many Christians have taken on the idea that we should be at war against “the liberals” and there is a distinct lack of willingness to listen to alternative views, to be winsome, and to try and build a society where all can truly live together at peace, and hence the gospel can go forth.
Scaramucci also spoke in that podcast about “belonging without othering” and I think that is something for Christians to consider. We are meant to be a people of love who exist for the benefit of our non-members and who call out to them with gentleness and humility rather than excluding them and becoming more and more angry with them.
As an old issue of Christianity Today said:

The Scriptures command us to be gentle and kind to unbelievers, not because we are not at war, but because we’re not at war with them (2 Tim. 2:26). When we see that we are warring against principalities and powers in the heavenly places, we can see that we’re not wrestling against flesh and blood (Eph. 6:12). The path to peace isn’t through bellicosity or surrender, but through fighting the right war (Rom. 16:20).
Moore, R.D. (2011) “The Gospel at Ground Zero: The Horrors of 9/11 Were Not unlike Those of Good Friday,” Christianity Today, p. 27.

For those of us who never supported Trump, we need to recognize that “They won. We lost. Next” which is also from the same podcast. We need to try and help other Christians understand that we need to be more gracious towards one another. Perhaps I should start by trying to be more gracious towards those who did support Trump. Many of them probably do still have reservations about Trump’s manner and behavior. Not to mention the constant lies, and the moral issues that seem to come up over and over again. How can I connect with my brothers and sisters who felt compelled despite those reservations to vote for him?
 

Peacemaking in a Polarized World​



In this article, we think about how to resist what scientists are calling “polarized information ecosystems.” Polarization is widely discussed. But widely discussed subjects are rarely well-discussed. Too many commentators continue to utilize the increasingly insufficient “echo chamber” hypothesis to explain the political division we see in American society.



I argue that Christians have a primary responsibility to live lives of holiness. Holiness demands distinct ways of living which transcend the negative and sinful ways that worldly systems attempt to trap us in. In a world that profits from division, Christ says blessed are the peacemakers (Matt. 5:9). This work of peacemaking must first be embodied within the Body of Christ before it is carried out into the world. Christians, and indeed any ideologically diverse communities, are well-positioned to cultivate ways of resisting the polarizing forces driving our nation down.



Echo Chambers Are Not the Problem​

Studies on the flow of information online in 2013 and 2014 initially indicated that users were being bombarded with information that already affirmed their preconceived notions of politics and reality. The well-known “echo chamber” hypothesis posits that isolating oneself from different viewpoints drives ideological and affective polarization. The first kind of polarization is when ideologies become increasingly opposed to each other. The second, affective polarization, is when groups feel increasingly opposed to each other.

These echo chambers, according to Petter Törnberg, are “homogeneous clusters protected from opposing individuals and perspectives—which are said to lead to the divergence of opinions toward more extreme positions” (1). When understood in this sense, echo chambers are not the problem.
However, philosopher C. Thi Nguyen does make a helpful distinction between epistemic bubbles and echo chambers. Epistemic bubbles, Nguyen argues, happen when communities are simply unexposed to other perspectives. Echo chambers in Nguyen’s definition have more to do with how outside voices are treated and perceived. Nguyen writes,
By discrediting outsiders, echo chambers leave their members overly dependent on approved inside sources for information. In epistemic bubbles, other voices are merely not heard; in echo chambers, other voices are actively undermined (142).
Moving forward, we will focus mostly on quantitative research on polarization. In these quantitative articles, such distinctions are not used; epistemic bubbles and echo chambers are usually taken to mean the same thing by researchers.

Polarization Driven by Interaction, Not Isolation​

In the latest literature on polarization, researchers are finding that it is not isolation that is causing polarization. Rather, it is more interaction. Petter Törnberg describes the process this way. We quote Törnberg at length:
the diverse and nonlocal interactions of digital media drive plural conflicts to align along partisan lines [and] drive a global alignment of conflicts by effacing the counterbalancing effects of local cultures. The model thus suggests that digital media can intensify affective polarization by contributing to a runaway process in which more and more issues become drawn into a single growing social and cultural divide, in turn driving a breakdown of social cohesion (2).
In other words, media functions by taking disputes which often do not materialize in our everyday lives. It then turns these issues into two-sided winner-takes-all conflicts. Individuals are then made to feel like they must take a side.
This means that we are not often trapped in isolated bubbles of information. Rather, we are forced into confrontation with the “other side.” As Törnberg writes, “digital media does not appear to lock people into isolated echo chambers but rather intensifies interaction with diverse actors and ideas from outside one’s local bubble” (3).

Polarization Caused by Sorting​

Political scientists have traditionally held that “unified” societies are not ideologically homogenous. Rather, the various communities in a harmonious society all have things that they disagree with each other on. Groups will thus be allied regarding some issues, and opponents on others. This is what political scientists refer to as “cross-cutting.” These multiply aligned alliances and oppositions essentially cancel each other out, making room for peaceful coexistence.

However, the media scape is not characterized by cross-cutting differences. As Törnberg tells us, media actively reduces these cross-cutting divides into diametrically opposed party platforms. Thus, differences no longer cut across communities; communities are being reconfigured or “sorted” into two major communities. These two communities—Republicans and Democrats—have now sorted themselves into a situation where there are no more complex loyalties. Who “we” are and who “they” are is now clear as day.

This social sorting even extends to previously ordinary aspects of our lives. In what some scholars call “oil spill” polarization, it is not so much that ideologies are becoming further apart. Rather, these two opposing ways of thinking are becoming more expansive. Spending habits, levels of education, consumption lifestyles, and so on are becoming markers of identity in this ever-expanding culture war.

Another Picture of Polarization​

However, in other strands of scholarly literature we do find other pictures of how polarization happens. One study conducted by Christopher K. Tokita et al. offers some insight into how individual practices can worsen polarization, perhaps among more extreme users.
Tokita and colleagues find that individuals engage in a different kind of sorting. When an “information ecosystem” is already polarized, users will begin sorting themselves into increasingly homogenous groups. This is largely done by unfollowing others in one’s social network. Thus, further polarization can be accounted for when users unfollow others with different viewpoints (Tokita et al., 1).
The authors find that the more one isolates oneself in a separated community, the more detached they become from information. This detachment even includes their preferred sources of news and information. There is a trade-off for becoming more extreme. As Tokita et al. write,
Rather than creating false beliefs, the power of misinformation may lie more specifically in further isolating consumers of misinformation from the broader society. Since the topics and emphasis of misinformation will often be highly dissimilar from mainstream news coverage, users who heavily consume misinformation will be in an uncorrelated (or perhaps even anticorrelated) information ecosystem relative to individuals who consume only mainstream media (7).

The Political Effects of Polarization​

Polarization is not just a talking point or a buzzword. It is a phenomenon with concrete political effects. Because we as Christians are told that we are not truly at home in this world (1 Pet. 2:11), I like to think about political life in this metaphor. In this world, we are like guests staying in someone else’s home. And a good guest must learn about the host and the rules of the home.

In the US, being a good guest requires living in the spirit of how the government was designed. Yet, polarization’s effects on how we approach politics hinders this. Törnberg raises the Congress as an example. The two branches of Congress—the Senate and the House—are meant to represent on a federal level the interests of individual states and regions. How can representatives represent their local communities when all communities are being subsumed into the same one-dimensional conflicts? What implications does this have for local policy (Törnberg, 8)?

Trading local issues for these ever expanding partisan wars is leading us further and further away from the design of our political system. This is not to reify the system as our moral end all be all. But if the people of a country are losing grip with how the country really works, can this nation really be by the people and for the people?

Resisting Polarization as the Body of Christ​

And now, we have our call to action. If Christ blesses the peacemakers, how shall we make peace in a polarized society? Resistance to polarization takes place in our personal practices, our ecclesial life, and our organizing and advocacy efforts.
The classical liberal fantasy of making political decisions through rational deliberation is effectively gone in the digital world. Törnberg writes that these spaces are “not merely arenas for rational deliberation and political debate but as spaces for social identity formation and for symbolic displays of solidarity with allies and difference from outgroups” (10). People do not hear from other voices in order to learn more. They do it to learn who they are not and strengthen their own sense of group loyalty.
The question for the Church is how our own identities can be presented and enacted in the digital space in faithful ways.

I. Personal Practices​

The first thing that we as Christians can do to counteract the effects of polarization in our own lives is to keep our connections open. If someone disagrees with you, you do not need to be their best friend. But stick around for them. Show grace for them and for yourself. Be hospitable as you allow them to continue sharing your own space (this is all within reason; even Paul and Barnabas had to break ties at some point!).

Maintaining a social network is not merely a symbolic way of keeping the peace. Keeping community, even tapping into multiple communities, is key to staying informed. As Tokita et al. show us, isolating oneself also silences the sources that one prefers listening to.
But most importantly, being exposed to other points of view is not inherently going to make someone more open-minded. This is a myth that must be addressed. We must do the inward, spiritual work of reorienting how we feel about others (indeed, politics has been reduced to feeling), not just what we think about what they say. Lean into God’s grace, compassion, and will to reconciliation as you navigate these treacherous waters.

II. Ecclesial Life​

In the Bible, Paul calls the Church the Body of Christ (1 Cor. 12:12). This metaphor is partly political. Because we are many members, each with its own purpose and gifts, we are bound to have political differences as well. The politics of the hand is not the same as the politics of the foot, so to say.
The Church cannot operate off of one singular political ideology, for it is a body and not a singular member. After all, the Head of the Body is Christ, and Christ’s politics remain inexpressible by the world’s ideologies and political structures. We can sometimes determine which political systems are truly anti-Christ. But for the vast majority of the time, no single group of Christians can preach their politics as the only good, true, and beautiful one.

Therefore, we must lean into this political diversity in the Christian community. We are all meant to do things for the glory of God. Can’t different politics facilitate this multifaceted calling? Can’t some give to the poor interpersonally while others advocate for less poverty?
Resistance to polarization on the collective level must start with the Church community. By navigating our own political differences, we will learn how to engage with those in the world.

III. Organizing and Advocacy​

This is where things will get more explicitly political. Polarization is a direct result of market interests. As mentioned in a previous article on the internet’s “marketplace of ideas”, social media companies profit the more we give up our data. We give up data through our online engagement, and they maximize profits by maximizing our engagement. As it turns out, provoking the most negative emotions like anxiety, anger, or offense is what does the trick.
It is no coincidence that there is not only ideological polarization but affective polarization as well. These emotions are provoked by design. And the designers of these online spaces are those who love money. Paul’s words to Timothy are proven yet again (1 Tim. 6:10), for even the evil of polarization results from the love of money.

We must turn this into a political issue. Polarization is driving the nation apart. The ones who are at the most extreme ends are losing touch with reality through the constricted flow of information. And the majority of Americans who are more moderate are becoming increasingly disengaged from a two-party system in which they can no longer see themselves.
Write your representatives. Organize and educate. Recognize that we war not with flesh and blood, but with principalities on high (Eph. 6:12).
There are things that we can do to resist this. It is time that we begin the work of peacemaking.

References​

Nguyen, C Thi. “Echo Chambers and Epistemic Bubbles.” Episteme 17, no. 2 (2020): 141-161. https://www.cambridge.org/core/jour...emic-bubbles/5D4AC3A808C538E17C50A7C09EC706F0.
Tokita, Christopher K., Andrew M. Guess, and Corina E. Tarnit. “Polarized information ecosystems can reorganize social networks via information cascades.” PNAS 118, no. 50 (2021). https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.2102147118.
 

How Does Evil Differ from Suffering?​



It’s bad enough to do evil and abstain from good. But God condemns the moral sleight of hand by which we confuse good and evil: “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter” (Isaiah 5:20).

Paul built on this when he wrote, “Hate what is evil; cling to what is good” (Romans 12:9). Passages like Amos 5:14–15; Romans 16:19; 1 Peter 3:11 and 3 John 11 all presume we know the difference between good and evil. But in a culture that so often switches the price tags so what’s valuable looks worthless and what’s cheap demands a high price, this doesn’t come naturally. We must regularly withdraw to Scripture and ask God’s Spirit to train our minds and consciences to recognize what’s truly good and what’s truly evil.

Evil, in its essence, puts someone or something else in God’s place.

Most people today understand evil as anything that harms others. The more harm done, the more evil the action.


Evil is the fundamental and troubling departure from goodness. The Bible uses the word evil to describe that which violates God’s moral will. The first human evil occurred when Eve and Adam disobeyed God. From that original sin—a moral evil—came the consequence of suffering. Although suffering results from moral evil, it is distinguishable from it, just as an injury caused by drunken driving isn’t synonymous with the offense.

Evil could be defined as “the refusal to accept the true God as God.” For this very reason, the Bible treats idolatry as the ultimate sin.

Any attempt to liberate ourselves from God’s standards constitutes rebellion against God. In replacing His standards with our own, we not only deny God but affirm ourselves as God. Evil is always an attempted coup, an effort to usurp God’s throne.

Psalm 2 describes earthly kings standing against God and His anointed one and declaring, “Let us break their chains.” God scoffs at them and replies that He has installed His king on Zion—and they have no hope of conquering His Chosen One (see 2:2–6).

Evildoers not only reject God’s law and create their own; they attempt to take the moral high ground by calling God’s standards “unloving,” “intolerant,” and “evil.”


Moral evil comes in two forms—blatant evil that admits its hatred for goodness, and subtle evil that professes to love goodness while violating it.

Some view evil as the absence of good.

The logic goes like this: There is no such thing as cold, only lower degrees of heat (or the complete lack of it). Darkness is not the opposite of light, but the absence of light. Death is not the opposite of life, but its privation. A cloth can exist without a hole, but that hole cannot exist without the cloth. Good can, did, and will exist without evil. But evil cannot exist without the good it opposes. A shadow is nothing but the obstruction of light—no light, no shadow. Augustine said in The City of God, “Evil has no positive nature; but the loss of good has received the name ‘evil.’”

New Testament vocabulary sometimes supports this concept. We see it in words such as unrighteous, unjust, ungodly, lawless, and godless. These suggest that we best understand evil as a departure from God’s goodness. However, while this definition contains helpful insights, it doesn’t go far enough.

More than merely the absence of good, evil is the corruption of good.

The Holocaust was not “nothing.” The Killing Fields were not “nothing.” The 9/11 attacks were not “nothing.” All were real horrors, down to every emaciated corpse, bullet-riddled body, and person jumping out a window.


Perhaps we could better conceive of evil as a parasite on God’s good creation, since a parasite is something substantial. Without the living organism it uses as a host, the parasite cannot exist. As metal does not need rust, but rust needs metal, so good does not need evil, but evil needs good.

Grace and forgiveness, both expressions of God’s eternal character, are moral goods, but without evil they wouldn’t have become clearly evident. Father, Son, and Holy Spirit don’t need compassion, mercy, grace, or forgiveness. These qualities could only be fully expressed to finite and fallen creatures.

Some of God’s virtues will forever capture the spotlight that, without evil and suffering’s temporary hold on us, never would have taken the stage.

Immoral acts are primary evils, while their consequences, including suffering, are secondary evils.

Scripture portrays moral evils of rebelling against God, and natural evils including disease and disasters.

Child abuse is evil, demonstrated by the harm it inflicts on the innocent victim. We consider cancer and earthquakes evils because they bring suffering. While the evils of cancer and earthquakes differ from the moral evil of rebellion against God, the two are related. Human rebellion led God to curse the earth, which brought severe physical consequences.


Diseases and disasters are in a sense unnatural because they result from evil, an unnatural condition.

Disobeying God, inseparable from the failure to trust God, was the original evil. From that sin—a moral evil—came the consequence of suffering. So suffering follows evil as a caboose follows an engine. Scripture sometimes refers to calamities and tragic events as evils. To distinguish these, we can call moral evil primary evil, and suffering secondary evil.

“But just as every good promise of the LORD your God has come true, so the LORD will bring on you all the evil he has threatened, until he has destroyed you from this good land he has given you” (Joshua 23:15). Note that the “evil” mentioned here is not moral evil. Rather, it’s a holy God bringing judgment upon guilty people.

In some cases God builds punishments into moral evils. Paul says of those committing sexual sins that they “received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion” (Romans 1:27).

Secondary evils provoke our indignation.

Why do innocent people suffer? Although many secondary evils befall us even when we have not directly committed a sin that causes them, we would not have to deal with secondary evils if we didn’t belong to a sinful race. Short-term suffering serves as a warning and foretaste of eternal suffering. Without a taste of Hell, we would neither see its horrors nor feel much motivation to do everything possible to avoid it. Hence, the secondary evil of suffering can get our attention and prompt us to repent of our primary moral evil.


God uses secondary evils as judgments that may produce ultimate good.

Jeremiah 11:17 uses the same Hebrew word for evil in both the primary sense (moral evil) and the secondary sense (adverse consequences of moral evil): “The LORD of hosts, who planted you, has pronounced evil against you because of the evil of the house of Israel and of the house of Judah, which they have done to provoke Me by offering up sacrifices to Baal” (NASB).

Because our English word has a narrower meaning, most translators normally choose “evil” when used of people disobeying God, but “disaster” or “calamity” when used of God bringing judgment on sinful people.

After promising judgment, God also promised He would bring good to His people—good that ultimately would outweigh the evil. Note the repetition of the word “good” in the following. God says,

They will be my people, and I will be their God. I will give them singleness of heart and action, so that they will always fear me for their own good and the good of their children after them. I will make an everlasting covenant with them: I will never stop doing good to them, and I will inspire them to fear me, so that they will never turn away from me. I will rejoice in doing them good and will assuredly plant them in this land with all my heart and soul. (Jeremiah 32:38–41)


God’s people endure temporary judgments for their sin. But God makes an “everlasting covenant,” promising, “I will never stop doing good to them.”

Evils, whether moral or natural, will not have the final say. God will replace both with everlasting good.

The surgeon inflicts suffering on the patient and the parent disciplines the child, but they do good, not evil. Likewise, God can permit and even bring suffering upon His children without being morally evil. God hates moral evil and is committed to utterly destroying it. Yet for now He allows evil and suffering, and can providentially use them for His own good purposes.
 

Short Story: Only Sunshine?​

tomato

It’s raining again, Tommy the tomato plant complained to himself. Why does it always have to rain? I wish we could always have sunshine.

Being just a tomato plant, Tommy didn’t know that the rain is exactly what gave him the water he needed to grow strong and produce plump, melt-in-you-mouth tomatoes. All he thought of is how the wind blew him back and forth and how the rain pelted down on him. He didn’t like it at all.

A few weeks later, Tommy got his wish. There was a drought—a long time with no rain at all. At first, Tommy was very happy. No rain!

But then the soil began to dry up. No problem, Tommy thought. I’ll just dig deeper down into the soil with my roots.

But then that soil, too, became dry.

Tommy no longer had enough moisture to send to all his leaves. They began to wilt. A few began to shrivel up and die. Tommy realized he would soon wither up altogether if it didn’t rain.

He knew now how wrong he had been—he needed rain! The storms gave him something very important he couldn’t live without.

“Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” Romans 5:3-5 (ESV)
 

How Do You Know If Your Relationship is Healthy?​

Dear Terry,

I’m engaged and considering getting married in a few months to a man who I’ve been dating for about a year. A few of my friends have questions about Todd because he sometimes lets me down and doesn’t follow through on all of his promises. But we have a lot in common and share the same goals. We both value fidelity and want to have a family. We do argue often but usually make up and don’t stay mad at each other for too long.


Most of the time, Todd comes through on important things and I trust him but he is forgetful and tends to put his job first. My parents divorced when I was ten years old and I’m fearful because they seemed happy when I was young and then things when sour. How can I be sure my marriage will last?


Do you think I should put off the engagement? I’m not 100% sure that our relationship is healthy but Todd loves me, he’s a good person, caring, and hard working. Please advise me about what I should do.

Sincerely,

Katie

Dear Katie,

There is no guarantee that any marriage will work out but admiration and fondness are key elements of a successful relationship. You can’t always go by others comments, but you must learn to trust your own judgment. You seem to trust Todd yet question the timing of your marriage. Indeed, if waiting another year or so before you get married, makes you feel more secure, than waiting may be the best answer.

What is the secret of finding a healthy relationship? In his book The Relationship Cure, distinguished American researcher, Dr. John Gottman writes: “It’s not that these couples don’t get mad or disagree. It’s that when they disagree, they’re able to stay connected and engaged with each other. Rather than becoming defensive and hurtful, they pepper their disputes with flashes of affection, intense interest, and mutual respect.”

After all, there is no such thing as a perfect partner. Nonetheless, you might want to ask yourself this question: Is there something about the way Todd treats me that makes me a bigger and better person? If the answer is no, ask yourself: Am I looking to change him too much? Or, am I taking responsibility for my part in our problems? It does take two people to contribute to disagreements.

The following are 7 essential aspects of a healthy relationship:

  1. You admire your partner for who he or she is as a person. You like and respect who they are and how they carry themselves through the world. If you can’t respect the way a person lives their life, let alone admire them, it’s hard to keep any relationship going.
  2. Your partner is trustworthy. He or she follows through on promises. It’s impossible to build trust in someone who does not keep their agreements or is unreliable.
  3. Your partner makes you a priority. He/she values your relationship. Even when they are swamped, they communicate (text, call, or talk) to show they’re thinking of you.
  4. Your partner accepts you with all of your flaws, doesn’t try to change you, and takes responsibility for their actions. Life is messy at times. While it’s natural to assign blame when things go wrong, in a healthy relationship partners take responsibility for things they do to hurt each other, apologize, and make amends.

  5. Your partner turns toward you and (rather than turn away from you). He or she listens more than they speak. Your partner asks you questions about your hobbies, friends, and family. When you have something important to share, they don’t stare at the computer screen or TV (or ignore you). Also, they don’t make you feel badly for being in a bad mood or having a tough day.
  6. Your partner is affectionate. They’re comfortable holding hands and showing other signs of physical affection in private and in public.
  7. Your partner talks about your future together so you can create a shared vision of your relationship. Don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t include you in his or her future plans. You should talk about your visions for your relationship is five to ten years.
Admiration is a key quality of a healthy, long standing relationship according to Nathaniel Branden. In his book, The Psychology of Romantic Love, he suggests that admiration is the most powerful foundation for a relationship. In other words, if you admire your partner, not just for how he or she acts with you, but for how they operate in the world as a whole, it helps strengthen your love when it is inevitably prone to falter.
 

3 Things Every Husband Needs to Hear (A Lot)​


What does your husband need from you?

Shaunti Feldhahn, a bestselling author and social researcher, wrote a book detailing things men wish women knew. It’s called For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men. In it, she discusses the surprising truths she discovered after interviewing more than 1,000 men. Here are a few things she found out about men:

  1. Men would rather feel unloved than feel inadequate and disrespected.
  2. A man’s anger is often a response to feeling disrespected by his wife.
  3. Men are insecure.
  4. Men want more sex.
This doesn’t mean your husband is an insecure sex freak. It means he has needs whether he expresses them or not.

Here are three things your husband needs to hear, regardless of whether he tells you or not:

1. I trust you.​

A man needs to hear that his wife trusts him. Secretly he wonders if he measures up. He may be afraid he doesn’t cut it at work or at home. He’ll never tell you this. If he’s not going to tell you, how can you address it? Let him know you trust him. Your vote of confidence is affirming to him. If he doesn’t receive affirmation from you he may seek it somewhere else. Your trust will make him more secure and confident in all areas of his life.

2. I appreciate you.​

A man would rather hear the words “thank you,” than the words, “I love you,” according to Feldhahn. Appreciation translates to respect for men. Let him know you appreciate what he does for you and your family. More importantly, let him know you appreciate him for who he is, regardless of what he does.

3. I want you.​

When you tell your husband you want him, you’re letting him know you desire him–for who he is, no matter what he looks like or what he’s accomplished. It’s no surprise men want sex more than women. But it’s not for purely physical reasons. According to Feldhahn’s research, men want more sex because they have a strong need to be desired by their wives. They want to be wanted. When you initiate sex, he feels encouraged. Sex is critical to a man’s sense of feeling loved and desired.

Validating and affirming your husband–physically and emotionally– let him know you love him and have a direct impact on his confidence and well being.
 

Paul’s Rebuke: Divisions and the Lord’s Supper in Corinth​


The Corinthian Problem: Divisions Between Two Classes



Seeking to allay a specific & un-Christlike practice in the Corinthian church when writing from Ephesus on his 3rd Missionary Journey, Paul pinpoints the overarching problem by writing, “When you come together as a church, I hear that divisions exist among you” (v. 18). To properly interpret the inspired words of this biblical context through exegesis (lifting the text’s meaning), Christians must focus on the specific reason for the dangerous threat of divisions at Corinth addressed in these verses of I Corinthians 11;17-34 and how these inspired words from God are the spiritual cure for the same in all ages until the end of time in the church.

Exposing of A Root Cause of Divisions​

Out-of-Step with Jesus

The sin exposed by Paul in this context was not turning the Lord’s Supper into a drunken feast as many have supposed, but a Greco-Roman culturally driven norm of some Corinthians walking completely out of step with Christ in their weekly LOVE FEASTS, which was inconsistent with the self-sacrifice of Jesus remembered each First Day of the Week in the partaking of the Lord’s Supper (cp. Jude 8-13, esp. v.12; cp. Acts 20:7).


Creative Discriminations at the Love Feasts

As congregations today usually have periodic fellowship dinners, the early church conducted weekly fellowship dinners as a part of their entire day of worship and fellowship. The divisions in the congregation at Corinth were being sharply manifested at these weekly love feasts (cp. Jude 12) when the Christian slave owners took deliberate measures to avoid eating and sharing their food with the Christian slaves who were a part of the same spiritual church family, but, oftentimes, who arrived late after their day’s mandatory slave work.

This was a clear case of wickedly dragging the Roman cultural biases into Christianity—whether at the assemblies and on into everyday life. Today’s applications for the church are just as applicable as when the Corinthian divisions were afoot over 2100 years ago. Satan is seeking to use any and every path to divide Christians.

When in Rome: Do Not Do As The Romans Do​

Only Motive: Protecting Their Investment

The Roman Empire conquered and enslaved many nations of the earth creating 60,000,000 slaves who were, generally, viewed by the slave owners as pieces of property like axes, plows, or farm animals. Masters had the power of life and death over slaves with no concern of reprisals from the governing powers. Thus, the only dynamic tempering severity with slaves from the slave owners’ perspectives was to protect their resale value.


Sit in the Back of the Bus

Sound familiar? Such 20th Century racial discrimination of segregated water coolers, bathrooms, and even back seats on buses were in strong evidence slavery system of the deep South. But, such was nothing new.

Greco-Roman Classes

In a Greco-Roman household, there were three classes: (1) the master and his family; (2) free servants; and, (3) slaves. At mealtime, the master and his family would recline for their meal eating and drinking the finest of foods and drinks brought in by the servants. Servants did not eat until the master’s family was finished. Slaves got the scraps very much like many feed their dogs. Hence, it would have been unthinkable and revolutionary for a slave to walk into the master’s house at mealtime and sit down with the family to dine. Such would have led to the severest of treatments, including execution.

Culture or Christ​

Gross Failures to Realize Spiritual Ramifications of Christianity

When Paul brought the gospel of Jesus to Corinth on his 2nd Journey, many masters and multitudes of slaves became Christians. Hence, when the weekly love feasts were held at church assemblies, Christian masters at Corinth arrived before the slaves finished their work to join the dinner and were gorging themselves on all the good foods they brought intentionally leaving nothing for the slaves who came later. That is the biblical framework that moved the Holy Spirit of God for Paul to write, “Therefore when you come together it is not to eat the Lord’s Supper, for when you eat, each one takes his own supper first, and one goes hungry while another gets drunk (gluttonous) or do you despise the church of God and shame those who have nothing” (vs. 20-22). Why was it that the selfish Christian masters were not, in effect, eating the Lord’s Supper as far as God was concerned? They were, indeed, partaking of the unleavened bread and the fruit of the vine, but were TOTALLY OUT OF STEP with what the Lord’s Supper represented in their weekly love feasts!


Do This in Remembrance of Me: Vertically & Horizontally​

In that biblical framework and context, Paul wrote, “For I received from the Lord that which I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus, on the night when He was betrayed, took bread; and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, ‘This is My body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of Me.’ In the same way, He also took the cup after supper, saying, ‘This cup is the new covenant in My blood; do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me.’ For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until He comes” (vs. 23-26).

The Lord’s Supper is a time of self-examination as the Christian vertically remembers Christ’s death for all mankind and horizontally how His sacrifice is to impact and change our lives!

A Time of Recalibration of Fellowship​

Why Bring Up the Lord’s Supper When Addressing Divisions?

Specifically, why did Paul interject the illustration of Jesus’ institution of the Lord’s Supper and Christians’ practice of partaking of the same each First Day of the Week into the greater context of I Corinthians 11:17-34 that was specifically styled to address the divisions between Christian masters and Christian slaves manifesting the vast social chasm between those two opposite cultural and social class poles?


Cause and Effect

The answer rests in CAUSE & EFFECT. The EFFECT of commanded unity being sought by God through Paul’s inspired words could (can) only be empowered by the CAUSE of the life-changing impact of the self-sacrifice of Christ for all mankind. Jesus’ death for the sins of all humanity must impact each Christian regardless of former divisions, understood customs, or cultural biases. No person saved by Christ can emerge unchanged!

It is Not the Lord’s Supper You Eat!

The divine aim of God through Paul was the dissolving of the Corinthian divisions being created by Christian slave owners wickedly treating Christian slaves with anything other than the equality of love, brotherhood, and communion (fellowship). This self-sacrifice of Jesus was (is) memorialized each First Day of the Week in the Lord’s Supper! When Paul said, “It is not the Lord’s Supper you eat,” he was pointing to the gross inconsistency of partaking of the unleavened bread to remember the broken body of Jesus on the cross and drinking of the cup remembering the shedding of His blood on the cross for all and, yet, treating your fellow Christian like dirt before and after the weekly Lord’s Supper is over! In effect, failure to connect what Jesus did at Calvary with how we are to treat fellow Christians regardless of gender, age, or class renders us NOT remembering the Lord’s death until He comes!


Turning The Roman World Upside Down​

Challenging the Social and Cultural Order

The pressures on Christian slave owners would have been culturally enormous! One of the foundations of the Roman economic system was the institution of slavery. For a Christian master to act as brothers in Christ with Christian slaves, literally, challenged the social order of those still in spiritual darkness. Christianity did, indeed, turn the world upside down (cp. Acts 17:6)!

Think Your Way into a Better Way of Acting

These dynamics were showcased and tested when Paul wrote from his first Roman Imprisonment to a brother in Christ in the Lycos Valley–a slave owner named, Philemon. A non-Christian slave, Onesimus, had run away from his master, Philemon, and, through the providence of God, had ended up in contact with Paul during his two-year house arrest in Rome. As a result of that meeting, Onesimus believed in and surrendered to Christ becoming a brother in Christ to Paul, and, yes, to Philemon, his master, as well.

In one of the most persuasive letters written by Paul, he employs an array of spiritual persuasions directed to Philemon to be lenient with his returning slave underscoring God’s providence and the bonds of Christian brotherhood. Paul writes, “For perhaps it was for this reason that he was separated from you for a while, that you would have him back forever, no longer as a slave, but more than a beloved brother, especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord” (Philemon 15, 16).


A Time of Self-Examination and Change​

Partaking in an Unworthy Manner Leads to Spiritual Illness

Hence, Paul admonishes the Corinthian slave owners, “Therefore whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy way (meaning not treating fellow Christians in any way other than equal brothers in Christ), shall be guilty of the body and the blood of the Lord (such divisions are out of step with the sacrifice of Jesus for all)…For the one who eats and drinks, eats and drinks judgment to himself if he does not properly recognize the body (fellow Christians in the church). For this reason, many among you are weak and sick, and a number are asleep (meaning favoritism and discrimination led (leads) to spiritual weakness, sickness, and death–separation from God).

Inviting Divine Chastisement

Paul directs that Christians (regardless of gender, race, socio-economic levels, or, education) are to “judge ourselves rightly, (so) we (will) not be judged. But when we are judged, we are disciplined by the Lord (meaning failure to treat brothers as beloved as equals invites the chastisement of God) so that we will not be condemned along with the world” (vs. 27-32).


Act Your Way into a Better Way of Thinking

God’s immediate solution to the Corinthian divisions was, “So then, my brothers and sisters when you come together to eat, wait for one another” (meaning to wait until the Christian slaves arrive and can share in the meal with you as brothers and sisters) (v. 33). One’s upbringing and cultural norms are characteristically so embedded in our thinking and lifestyles that turning all those past perspectives is tantamount to turning an aircraft carrier on a dime! Yet, our greatest hope of change is the Christians’ weekly revisiting and proper reflection on the scene of our Savior’s body that was broken and His blood that was shed to save us all.

How do we view others of different races, cultures, nations, socio-economic standings, and the like? The Lord’s Supper is a time to recalibrate our hearts weekly and conduct ourselves to discern the Lord’s body (the church—all the saved). Satan divides, but Christ unifies!

Let us Do This in Remembrance of Jesus
 

Where Does Happiness Originate?​



Some people suppose happiness is uniquely human, unrelated to God’s nature: as He gave us a body and hunger, which He doesn’t have, He gave us a capacity for happiness, which He also doesn’t have. I believe something radically different—that God wants us happy because He’s happy! He treasures His happiness and treasures us, and therefore He treasures our happiness! Old Testament professor Brent Strawn writes, “In the Bible, God is happy, and God’s happiness affects and infects the rest of the non-God world, humans included.” The last part of the sentence hinges on the first: if God isn’t happy, he has no happiness with which to “infect” us.

To be godly is to resemble God. If God is unhappy, we’d need to pursue unhappiness, which is as likely as developing an appetite for gravel. If following Jesus means having to turn away from happiness, and we’re wired to want happiness, then we can only fail as Christians. Looking at Scripture carefully, we find a happy God who desires us to draw happiness from Him. Yet how many Christians have ever heard a sermon, read a book, had a discussion about, or meditated on God’s happiness?


Not once at church, Bible college, or seminary did I hear about God’s happiness. I have no doubt it would have been surprising, memorable, and encouraging. What better explanation for the flood of happiness that overwhelmed my life after coming to Christ than that my God, who created, redeemed, and indwelt me, was happy?

Though I studied the Bible continuously, somehow the hundreds of Scriptures indicating God’s pleasure, delight, and joy didn’t register. They were nullified by unbiblical statements I heard from pastors and authors, such as “God calls us to holiness, not happiness.” I’ve always been a voracious reader, inhaling books, including theological works, by the hundreds. But I didn’t read anything about the happiness of God until the late 1980s, after I’d been a pastor for ten years. John Piper’s books Desiring God and The Pleasures of God introduced me to a subject I should have heard about in my first few months attending church as a teenager.

Why did it take so long for me to hear what Scripture clearly teaches? Because God’s happiness simply wasn’t on my radar, nor that of my church or school. God’s love, mercy, and grace were affirmed—not just His justice and wrath—so perhaps I should have deduced that God was happy. But the thought never occurred to me.


I believe it’s vital that we not leave our children and future generations of Christians to figure out for themselves that God is happy. Most never will. How can they, unless their families and churches teach them and demonstrate God-centered happiness in their own lives? We need to tell them that sin, suffering, shame, and unhappiness are temporary conditions for God’s people. We’ll once and for all be righteous, healthy, shame free, and happy. Once we’re in His presence, we’ll never again experience the anger, judgment, and discipline of God we see in Scripture (all of which are appropriate and important, but even now do not nullify His happiness or love).

I’m convinced that in the new universe—called in Scripture the New Heaven and the New Earth—the attribute of God’s happiness will be apparent everywhere. Upon their deaths, Christ won’t say to His followers, “Go and submit to your master’s harshness” but “Come and share your master’s happiness!” (Matthew 25:21, NIV). Anticipating those amazing words can sustain us through every heartbreak and challenge in our present lives.
 

Another Perspective on Work​


In the last twenty-five years, in my work with businessmen, one cannot help but notice how men get their identities in life based on their work and how well they perform in their work. I think this is also true of women.

Recently I read about the great jazz musician, John Coltrane. He not only played music, but composed it as well. Many consider him one of the most influential and acclaimed figures in the history of jazz and 20th century music.

At one point in his career, he humbly asked God to be given the means and privilege to give people great joy through his music, and to inspire them to realize more and more of their capacity for living meaningful lives.

Then one night, after an exceptionally brilliant performance of the suite, A Love Supreme—a thirty-two- minute outpouring of praise to God—he stepped down from the stage and was heard to say, “Nunc dimittis.” These are Simeon’s words in Luke 2 after he had seen the promised Messiah. They mean, essentially, “I could die happy now.” Coltrane claimed to have had an experience of God’s love that liberated him from the work under the work for the sake of the work itself. He had been given God’s power and had felt God’s pleasure. Coltrane had stopped making music for his own sake. He did it for the music’s sake, the listener’s sake, and God’s sake.


The Christian view of life is that we have all been given a calling based on the way God created and designed each of us. Your life is not an accident. But what does one do if they have a job that is tedious and does not produce the kind of income they desire?

Tim Keller provides great insight into this when he said, “It’s liberating to accept that God is fully aware of where you are at any moment and by serving the work you’ve been given you are serving Him.” This enables you to gladly accept whatever level of success and accomplishment He gives you in your work, because He has called you to do it.

When you have this perspective on your work, you will have the power to work with a free heart.
 

Tis The Season For Giving Thanks Always And For All Things​


Give Thanks Always And For Everything


Always give thanks to God the Father for everything.

Ephesians 5: 20



Like a fire that begins with a slow simmering burn before bursting into larger flames, so can we start with an ember of thanksgiving in our hearts that ignites within our hearts. In order for us to fan into flame the inner gift of thanksgiving, we need to begin by knowing to whom we give thanks. God, our Creator and Heavenly Father who made all things into reality by the Word of His Power is the only One who deserves this ongoing thanks.

Tis The Season For Some Heart Searching Introspection

Scripture tells us we ought to give thanks for always and for all things. As it is written in Ephesians, “Always give thanks to God the Father for everything.” But do we?

Consider the beautiful fruit of the Spirit that can be fanned into a mighty burning flame as described in 2 Peter 1:5-11.Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love. For it these qualities are yours and are increasing, they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

For he who lacks these qualities is blind or short-sighted, having forgotten his purification from his former sins. Therefore, brethren, be all the more diligent to make certain about His calling and choosing you; for as long as you practice these things, you will never stumble; for in this way the entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ will be abundantly supplied to you
.”


When We Give Thanks We Change From The Inside Out

As we set our minds on obeying God by learning to give thanks always and for everything, we will discover something powerfully enriching to our mental, emotional, and spiritual state. First of all, as we obey God by faith in matters both large and small, we learn that peace accompanies us as we submit ourselves to His divine wisdom and understanding not our own.

Second, as we choose to give thanks always and for everything, and yes, that means every little thing, we begin to change from the inside out. Our heart’s demeanor is no longer dependent upon favorable circumstances and positive surroundings. Rather, we will find ourselves freed from such binding temporal constraints.

Heart Transformation Can Begin Today

God and His Holy Spirit will enable us to see the eternal in the human and the mundane. He will give us eyes to see the good He is doing for our good and His glory. No longer are we held captive by the uncertain and the unfathomable. Instead, as we apply all diligence in serving our Lord and seek moral excellence in all things, we start to grow and change and mature and our lives begin to resemble our Savior and Lord. Amazing!


Give Thanks Always And For Everything

So at the outset of this holiday season where Thanksgiving is all about honing a grateful, thankful heart — let’s ask the Lord to open our eyes to all that He has blessed us with and let us beseech Him for eyes to see and hearts that truly give thanks to God the Father for everything.
 
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You’re Magnetic
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[ 1 min read ★ ]
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Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?—Mark 2:16

God loves us—just as we are, right now. Wow. That’s kind of difficult to accept, isn’t it? I mean, it’s hard to feel worthy of that love, with all our mistakes, our imperfections. Don’t we need to be perfect and holy too, just as he is, before he can love us? No, brother, he loves us—just as we are, right now. If we’re ever going to understand God, if we’re ever going to understand ourselves, in relation to God, we’re going to have to bend our minds toward that truth.

He is perfect and holy; we are not. True. What’s not true is that, because of his perfection, he’s drawn only to more perfection. What’s not true is that, because of his holiness, he demands our holiness before he’ll love us, accept us, want anything to do with us.


God knows our mistakes, every imperfection. Nothing is hidden from him (Hebrews 4:13). And, actually, precisely because he knows, he executed the ultimate act of love: he sent his son, Jesus Christ, to be our King and to save us from our mistakes and imperfections (Romans 5:8). So, the truth is—like a doctor to the sick—he’s actually drawn to imperfection and sin (Mark 2:17). Our relationships with God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, begin to work when we accept and welcome that love.
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Okay, so what do we do?

Throughout this week, take these words as God’s promise, just to you. Meditate upon them. Let them sink in deep.

“. . . neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate [me] from the love of God in Christ Jesus . . .” (Romans 8:38-39).​
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8 Ways to Bond With Your Stepchild​


Most of the stepparents who contact me for support tell me they had no idea what they were getting into. One stepdad, Steve, put it this way, “I was never a father before, and at the ripe “young” age of 42, I was thinking that I was somehow going to “get by” and become accepted by my stepchildren, primarily because I had married their mother. I was getting by trying to be “nice” to my new stepkids but comments like “You’re not my father” made me feel disrespected.


Different from a biological parent, a major thrust of being a stepparent is to be a friend to your stepchildren on some level. Not like a school friend, but an adult friend more akin to being a guidance counselor or mentor who is also a parental figure.

There are many ways you can develop a positive relationship with your stepchildren if you invite them to participate in activities that interest them and expose them to some of your hobbies. For instance, inviting your stepchildren to share your love of hiking while on a summer vacation can help you form a friendship.

However, it may be more challenging to form a bond with a stepchild of the opposite gender, especially if your personalities clash and you do not share interests. There is no such thing as instant love between a new stepparent and a stepchild. One of the most crucial things to learn about a stepfamily is that most children give love and trust to their parent, but feel that their stepparent must earn their love and trust over time.

Attending some of your stepchildren’s school events, showing interest in their hobbies, and supporting their need for one-on-one time with your spouse can promote a caring relationship. This takes time, years really.

8 ways to bond with your stepchild:


  • Stepparents had best proceed slowly: Take your time in getting to know your stepchild. Rushing it may satisfy your own unmet needs to be liked but backfire. After all, you will be most likely be seen as an outsider since your stepkids spent some time alone with their biological parent before you came on the scene.
  • Respect your spouse’s relationship with your stepkids and don’t feel threatened by their close connection. He or she will want to spend special time with their children so try not to feel neglected by him/her. Make plans with your friends and graciously step out of their way.
  • Have realistic expectations: Just because things went well when you were dating his or her biological parent, does not ensure things will go smoothly once you’re a committed couple. A marriage effectively ends any hope of their mother and father reunifying and can reignite those feelings of loss for your stepchildren. Remember that your stepkids will be there for the duration whether a positive relationship unfolds with you, so step to the higher ground and be the adult role model they deserve.
  • Develop a relationship with your stepchildren through hobbies and interests. Sharing interests from sports to the arts can only help you develop a bond. Be persistent if he or she fails to invite you to an event or activity. Keep in mind, you are the adult and need to be the mature one. Say something like: “I’d love to go to your basketball game, how do I get tickets?”
  • Understand your stepchild’s view. First, it’s a given that your stepchildren had a relationship with your spouse that existed before you came on the scene. Stepfamilies are complicated and even if your stepchildren seem to like you well enough, they’ll sometimes want time alone with their parent and prefer you weren’t in the picture.
  • Stay out of interactions between biological parents working out holiday or vacation schedules. Try to be courteous and respectful of the “other parent”, keeping in mind that it’s likely neither parent would have chosen having their children live with them part-time.
  • Realize that love often comes later. Even if you do not hit it off with your stepchild, you can still develop a working relationship built on respect. If your stepchild does not warm up to you right away that does not mean you have failed. Adopting realistic expectations can help you get through some rough spots.
  • Cooperate with the biological parent living with you, and talk talk talk. Most of the talking will take place away from your stepkids but be sure to have cordial conversations and informal discussions about family rules, roles, chores, and routines with the kids.

Presenting a united front with your spouse is very helpful to the formation of a healthy stepfamily. This action requires respect, caring and lots of love because it may not be easy to do if you do not agree with your spouse. Caring and respect are especially important, cannot be rushed, and are “earned” or granted over time among all family members.

Always do your best to support your partner’s decisions about his or her biological children. This will help build trust between you and your stepchildren. Remember you are a “competitor” for their parents’ attention, especially when a remarriage takes place within a few years after the breakup of your stepchild’s family. Try not to feel threatened by the time your stepchild spends with your spouse.

Be sure to encourage and listen to your stepchildren’s input so they’ll feel validated. Ultimately you and your spouse are the adults who have the last say on household decisions but showing your stepkids you respect their input will help cement a good relationship in the years to come.

Should stepparents discipline their stepchildren? This is controversial and needs to be negotiated by parents. Experts agree that your role as a stepparent includes helping your stepchildren abide by family rules. In any case, thread lightly on being a disciplinarian – especially if you are a new stepparent.


Keep in mind that the relationship between your spouse and their children existed before you arrived and your relationship with your stepchildren isn’t built on solid ground. It is essential that you know this and honor it. Therefore, if you feel like you are walking on eggshells, you are not alone – most stepparents feel tenuous at times in their new role.

One stepmom put it this way: “At times I felt like a stranger around my stepson when we were first married and I didn’t know exactly how to relate to him. But over time, by showing interest and attending his soccer games, things got better and I no longer feel like the fifth wheel.”

Let’s end on the wise words of author Suzen J. Ziegahn, P.h.D.: “As a stepparent, it’s to your advantage to develop a tolerable, hopefully positive relationship with your stepchild as soon as possible. It will encourage the survival of your stepfamily – and your marriage because the relationship you have with your stepchild may redefine the relationship you have with your partner.”
 

A Thanksgiving Memory from Grandma​



Memory Lane: When I was a child, we always had cats. They all lived outdoors, and some of them were pretty rough. My grandmother always fussed at them and called them some rather *inappropriate* names. As for the cats, they adored her!

Then would come Thanksgiving, and Grandma would take the turkey giblets (which we wouldn’t touch with a 10′ pole), and season and cook them up for the cat! Her answer to the obvious question was, “That poor little animal deserves some Thanksgiving, too.”

You Can’t See a Heart​

Two things come to mind here:

1) My grandmother had a much more tender heart than she was willing to display most of the time, and

2) I wonder if our cats today know just how good they have it …

A Lesson Learned​

Matthew 6:25-26: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”


Thanksgiving is a time to give out of our abundance, whatever that might look like, to receive out of our need, whatever that might look like, and to thank God for His glorious plan that weaves all of us together in an intricate, inclusive pattern that looks like Him–love!

“Give thanks to the Lord for He is good. His steadfast love endures forever” (Psalm 136:1).

Have a blessed Thanksgiving, my friends! Remember, whatever your day looks like, whatever your circumstances are, “you deserve some Thanksgiving, too.” I have it on the best authority.
 

Happy Are the Pure in Heart, for They Shall See God​



A reader sent me this message related to my book The Purity Principle:

The Purity PrincipleDearest Randy,

I am one of the thousands who have extremely benefitted from this book.

Ever since I became a Christian (almost 4 decades ago), I have been struggling with sexual lust. And it has been a wearisome battle.

Over the years, I have been devouring books just to take hold of a particular principle that can help when I go through those terrible episodes of temptations.

From John Owen’s Mortification of Sin to John White’s Eros Defiled and Eros Redeemed, I zealously poured over the pages of many, many books.

Then I came across your book The Purity Principle, and what’s encouraging is that your simple, yet profound canon: “Purity is always smart, impurity is always stupid.” It has helped me tremendously during episodes of temptations. And that the best way to battle sexual lust is by turning to and seeking a higher pleasure, that is, God Himself and the provisions He has given in marriage.

I’ve devoured your book, and I felt as if a heavy chain that has been fastened on me for so long has been unshackled.

I cannot thank you enough for this book. And I’m buying more of this book so that I may share it men who, like me, have been severely struggling with sexual lust.

Thank you so much and may the Lord continually bless your ministry.

This man discovered that when his thirst for joy is satisfied by Christ, sin becomes unattractive. This allows us to say no to the passing pleasures of immorality, not because we don’t want pleasure, but because we want true pleasure—a greater and lasting pleasure that can be found only in Christ. We don’t pursue purity for purity’s sake; but because we want to pursue Christ.

Jesus described seeing God as something wonderful, declaring “Blessed [happy] are the pure in heart, for they will see God” (Matthew 5:8). Commenting on this verse, Jonathan Edwards said, “It is a thing truly happifying to the soul of man to see God.” (Don’t you love the word happifying?)

While one day we will literally see Christ face to face, even now we can “see” Him as we pursue knowing Him. “Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand” (Colossians 3:1, NLT).

We must choose between sexual fantasies and intimacy with God. We cannot have both. When we see that God offers joys and pleasures that sexual fantasies don’t, this is a breakthrough. But that breakthrough will come only when we pursue God, making Him the object of our quest—and when we realize that fantasies are only a cheap God-substitute. Running to them is running from God.


Garrett Kell, pastor at Del Ray Baptist Church in Alexandria, Virginia, gave a chapel message this fall at Cedarville University on the subject of purity. Garrett says, “[God] is worth everything, and He is better than anything sin can ever offer you. So friends, pursue purity to get God.”
 
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A Pernicious Loop
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. . . he himself gives to all mankind
life and breath and everything—Acts 17:25


There are few more powerful (and potentially harmful) forces at work in the lives of men than the When/Then lie. It goes like this: when we get that job, that promotion, that house, that “number” in the bank account . . . then everything will be great. Things will settle down then. We’ll have peace and joy and security then. The lie wouldn't be so bad, but for the behavior we rationalize and excuse with it, hoping it is true: neglecting people we’re meant to love; disregarding people we’re meant to serve; ignoring people we’re meant to rescue; treating badly and taking advantage of people we are meant to encourage and support.

Our enemy, the “father of lies” (John 8:44), created a clever one with the When/Then lie—it’s an infinite loop. You see, whatever “something” follows When is never as good as we think it’ll be. And so, any given “something,” when it’s achieved, is quickly replaced by a bigger, better one.


There’s freedom available to us, though—freedom to enjoy the abundant blessings we’ve already been given; freedom to access true peace and true joy and true security, right now—if we’re willing to reject the lie and, instead, embrace the promises of our King, Jesus Christ. He’s promised that our Father God will provide everything we need in any given moment (Matthew 6:25-34). His provision just might not look how we think or hope it will (Isaiah 55:8).
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Okay, so what do we do?

Write down the When/Then lies you’ve believed. Be specific with both the Whens and the Thens. Now, with brothers in community or directly to God, pray against any power they’ve held over your life. Then, pray in the opposite: declare your gratitude for how God’s provided for you already—and for how he always will.
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The Spiritual Discipline of Gratitude for the Church: 5 Ways​



As we reflect on the Thanksgiving season, we find ourselves thankful for many things – our families, homes, and vocations, to just name a few. Recently, I blogged about the role of gratitude in our work, worship, and the spaces where we live and play. Gratitude in every area and arena of life is important. This is also an appropriate time to express gratitude for the church. I am thankful for the church in all its diverse shapes, sizes, forms, rhythms, traditions, convictions, and ways of gathering. As followers of Jesus, we’re called not only to be thankful for the church but to love it, because Jesus Himself founded it, commissioning it to be His hands and feet in the world. Without love for the church, we lack the foundation necessary to call it to growth, change, or renewal. We cannot change what we don’t love.

The Lead a Quiet Life blog on Patheos is inspired by the simplicity encouraged in 1 Thessalonians 4:11—living quiet, devoted lives in a noisy, complicated world. This pursuit of simplicity has not only changed how I live every day, but it has led me to be part of a smaller and simpler church community of Jesus followers seeking to live differently, and I am deeply thankful for that (but it’s not without its challenges). I believe that cultivating a discipline of gratitude is especially meaningful for those of us leading and participating in smaller, close-knit congregations, as it helps us stay connected, committed, and grounded in our shared purpose.

Learning to love the church in all forms.​

I haven’t always loved the church. My spiritual journey began as a disillusioned event promoter and spiritual wanderer. Yet over time, as I followed Jesus more closely, I realized that loving Jesus also meant loving what Jesus loves—which included the church. I have experienced many aspects of the church. Personally, I am a reflective continuist who began as a disillusioned event promoter and spiritual pilgrim. I consider myself a critically thinking, open-minded evangelical with mostly orthodox convictions.

Along the way, I’ve journeyed from an upbringing in fundamentalism to a long spiritual pilgrimage through the Vineyard Movement, drawing from various theological influences. I’ve embraced Quaker disciplines and discovered shared convictions within Anabaptism. While I may not find a “home” in every church, nor share convictions with them all, I am deeply thankful for the church and much of its expressions and history. That hasn’t always been the case for me, but the more I taste and see that the Lord is good, and the more I witness the diverse ways church communities reflect God’s character, the more my appreciation grows. There’s a story of C. Peter Wagner and John Wimber visiting various churches during their time at Fuller Seminary.

As they stepped into each unique context, their hearts expanded with love for each church, sensing God’s presence and purpose in its distinct expression. If I remember the story correctly, Wimber often remarked that Wagner would exclaim in each context, “I love this church; I could make my home here,” and I find myself growing in a similar way, learning to see and love the beauty in different church communities.

Gratitude for the church is a spiritual discipline.​

Expressing gratitude for the church is more than just a good practice; it’s a spiritual discipline modeled throughout the New Testament. Paul consistently demonstrated this in his letters, beginning with his heartfelt thanks to the church in Ephesus: “I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers” (Ephesians 1:15-16). Similarly, in his letter to the Philippians, he encourages them by saying, “I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy” (Philippians 1:3-5). In Colossians 1:3-4, Paul again expresses his gratitude for the faith and love demonstrated by the church in Colossae, acknowledging their love for all of God’s people.

To the struggling Thessalonians, Paul roots his entire letter in gratitude, culminating in 1 Thessalonians 1:2-3: “We always thank God for all of you and continually mention you in our prayers.” Here, Paul showcases his thankfulness for their faithful work and steadfastness. Even when addressing challenges, like those in Corinth, Paul opens with gratitude: “I always thank my God for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus” (1 Corinthians 1:4).

This pattern of modeling gratitude continues in Romans 1:8, Philemon 1:4-5, and is embodied by the early church, who gathered with “glad and sincere hearts” (Acts 2:46). Paul wasn’t expressing gratitude to flatter these churches (though honey does catch more flies); he was modeling a spirit of collective thankfulness, encouraging them to be grateful for their community. Gratitude realigns the church, unifies believers, and fosters an awareness of God’s work in our lives and communities. Through gratitude, we become more attuned to God’s presence and purpose in our lives and our church communities. Again, I will say, expressing gratitude for the church is more than just a good practice; it’s a spiritual discipline modeled throughout the New Testament.

Gratitude Leads To An Expectant Future​

I am deeply grateful for the church in all its diverse shapes, sizes, forms, rhythms, traditions, convictions, and ways of gathering—but that doesn’t mean I’m always content with it as it is. In fact, the more grateful I am for the church, the more appreciation and love I develop for it. In fact, the more I love and appreciate the church, the more I long for it to grow into the fullness of what Jesus envisioned. Love fuels this desire for change. This deepening gratitude fuels my desire to see it thrive and fills me with hope for its future. Gratitude shifts our focus from limitations to possibilities, fostering a sense of expectancy for what God can do in and through the church.

Paul models this balance beautifully. In his spiritual discipline of being grateful for the church, Paul consistently models gratitude for the church while maintaining an expectant vision for its future, encouraging believers to grow in faith, love, and perseverance. Paul’s letters balance thankfulness for their current faithfulness with a hopeful call to greater maturity and unity in Christ, reflecting a posture of both appreciation and anticipation. He appreciates, but in his appreciation, Paul raises the bar. Reflecting on the church with gratitude leads naturally to envisioning its future with hope.

Five Practical Ways of Cultivating Gratitude for the Church​

Perhaps loving the church and being grateful for it isn’t always as easy as it seems it should be. Yet, I believe Paul demonstrates that gratitude for the church (globally and locally) is a spiritual discipline—one that involves being thankful, expressing that gratitude, and lovingly challenging the church from a place of deep appreciation. In our pursuit of cultivating gratitude for the church, I offer five practices to help cultivate gratitude for the church.

  1. Pray for and Celebrate the Global Church. Find a church community around the world that stirs your compassion. Discover the unique witness of your chosen community, and pray gratefully for its unique witness, recognizing how God is working through their context and challenges.
  2. Pray for and Celebrate the Unfamiliar. Choose a church movement different from your own—maybe even one you struggle to understand or find yourself opposed too. Research it, pray for it, and celebrate how even in its shortcomings, it has a way of enriching the global church in ways your own community might not.
  3. Pray for and Celebrate Your Church Community. Set aside time each day to thank God for specific aspects of your church—its leaders, members, and even the small joys. This habit deepens appreciation and strengthens your connection to your faith community.
  4. Speak and Celebrate Your Gratitude Publicly. Like Paul, express your gratitude openly. Write notes of encouragement, thank those who’ve made an impact, or share publicly on social media what your church has meant to you. Your words can contagiously inspire and uplift others.

  5. Challenge with a Grateful Heart. Before offering critique, ensure your heart is filled with gratitude. Share your hopes for growth and impact from a place of love and appreciation, inviting others to dream and pray alongside you. Gratitude fuels positive change.

Closing Thoughts​

Gratitude for the church cultivates love, and love cultivates gratitude. We cannot change what we don’t love, and we cannot love the church without recognizing its God-given role as Christ’s hands and feet. Gratitude must be a spiritual discipline that reshapes how we engage with the church. We cannot change what we don’t love. By fostering a heart of gratitude, we not only honor what God has done but also open ourselves to what He is doing and will continue to do. Paul’s letters demonstrate this beautifully—balancing thankfulness with an expectant hope for future growth. Likewise, our gratitude for the church, with all its diversity and imperfections, inspires us to remain committed and hopeful for what lies ahead. This Thanksgiving season, let us remember to be thankful for the church—its people, its mission, and its impact—knowing that our gratitude can ignite a vision of hope and transformation.
 

No Little People, No Little Places​



Denny Hartford, the founder and director of Vital Signs Ministries, and his wife Claire truly live to the glory of King Jesus. I was touched by this story he shared in a ministry update:

Early in March, I was talking to a fellow at the coffee shop, and I mentioned that Claire and I were heading down to Wichita later in the morning to visit my little sister Sherry for a couple of days. My little sister is dealing with an early and very severe dementia. I explained Sherry’s plight to him, and he asked, “Why do you go down to spend time with her if you realize she might not even recognize you?”

I smiled and kindly, but carefully, replied, “Because I recognize her!”

The point being that the key to experiencing the blessings of God in one’s relationships is to love, honor, and serve others unconditionally—not because of what someone can do for you or what arbitrary and utilitarian tests they can pass to “deserve” being treated with honor and kindness. Christians are commanded to love as Jesus loves us and that means with grace, humility, courage, a willingness to sacrifice, and a persevering spirit. Yes, I love my little sister because of who she has been. But I also love her for who she is right now, physical and mental illness notwithstanding, because she is worth every bit of tenderness and respect and service I can render her. And, thank the Lord, because Sherry has trusted in Christ’s sacrifice on the cross to pay for her sins, I also love her for who she will one day be! Maranatha—come, Lord Jesus.

Along with ministering to my sister (embraces, music, conversation, helping her with meals and desserts, time enjoying the scenery outside, including the fox who lives in the woods behind the facility), the Lord gave us opportunities there in Wichita to touch other lives as well. Millie and Bertie to whom we brought sweet treats, swapped stories, read poetry, and talked of the splendors of Heaven. The nursing home staff to whom we brought our thanks, compliments (and donuts). The overworked “care pastor” from a nearby church who we were able to encourage. Two local musicians. A bookstore manager. People at the hotel. The girls working at the non-profit coffee shop. As Francis Schaeffer would say, “No little people, no little places.” Everything God gives us to do is big and beautiful and of eternal significance. So let’s not miss out on the chances God gives us every single day to make a difference to someone.

Denny mentioned Francis Schaeffer’s quote “No little people, no little places.” That was the title of a chapter in his book also titled No Little People, a collection of 16 of Francis’s sermons.

Schaeffer wrote, “Jesus commands Christians to seek consciously the lowest room. All of us—pastors, teachers, professional religious workers and nonprofessional included—are tempted to say, ‘I will take the larger place because it will give me more influence for Jesus Christ.’ … But according to the Scripture this is backwards: We should consciously take the lowest place unless the Lord himself extrudes us into a greater one.”

He continued:

We must remember throughout our lives that in God’s sight there are no little people and no little places. Only one thing is important: to be consecrated persons in God’s place for us, at each moment. Those who think of themselves as little people in little places, if committed to Christ and living under his Lordship in the whole of life, may, by God’s grace, change the flow of our generation. And as we get on a bit in our lives, knowing how weak we are, if we look back and see we have been somewhat used of God, then we should be…“surprised by joy.”

The humble willingness to help the needy and lowly has always set Christians apart, showing the world that we operate on a radically different value system. Christ says if we feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, invite in the stranger, give clothes to the needy, care for the sick, and visit the persecuted, we are doing those things to Him: “Come, you who are blessed by my Father, take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat” (Matthew 25:34-35).

As Denny put it, “Let’s not miss out on the chances God gives us every single day to make a difference to someone.”
 
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Look Again, Harder This Time
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. . . and they shall call his name Immanuel
. . . God with us—Matthew 1:23


We men often feel alone. Even surrounded by family, friends, work colleagues, we can still feel very much alone. These feelings—not of loneliness, but alone-ness—are most acute, of course, in times of stress or struggle or suffering. You see, it’s when we’re most in need of help and companionship that we’re most apt to be convinced that no one’s going to help or no one’s going to understand . . . maybe not even God. Right? I mean, in those dark moments, it can feel like God’s just not there, or has turned away. In one of his dark moments, King David cried out: “I am cut off from your sight” (Psalm 31:22).

The truth is, God is always there, in every moment, bright and dark. “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). God doesn’t abandon us in dark moments, even when our sin causes the darkness. So we must learn to see him, even in those moments. One great way to learn is to look backwards, at dark moments from our pasts, moments when we felt alone, and look for him once more, a bit harder this time.
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Okay, so what do we do?

Spend some time in prayer. Close your eyes. Quiet your mind. Now, drawing upon everything you know about him, get a picture of Jesus. Think about his goodness—and his heart for the weary, the worried, the wicked, the down, the downtrodden. Think about his willingness to go into tough places and tough situations . . . to redeem them. Next, recall a moment from your past. Call to mind a picture of a time when you felt alone. Visualize the details. Remember how it felt. Now, bring the two pictures together and imagine how Jesus might have (actually) been at work in the moment you chose.
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